Caray, Caray!

That's #268 by Univision's count; !!!!270!!!! hours of ugly beauty.

Amanda is studying for a final exam tonight. Wish her luck!

Dumber than two Lois Lanes

Aldo and Fern ask Lety, why'd she agree to go with Tomas and not with them, and where was she? And did you know Aurora asked for a million DOLLARS? JR's going to sue us.

Lety rubs her face and takes off her glasses. When she looks up, her Letybrows are smudged. Fern and Aldo lean in for a closer look. Lety realizes what happened, puts her glasses on and bolts for the restroom. Fern and Aldo postulate that her face was smeared with... pollution!

In the bathroom, Lety wipes up the smudges and scolds herself for smearing her makeup.

Later, she and Tomas rehash the RetroMod situation yet again. Here's the progress report: Luigi was fooled; Fern's not too suspicious; as for JR... "okay, here comes the ugly part" Tomas says. JR is demanding that they get her to agree to work for them, AND at a lower price, or else they'll be in breach and have to pay the penalty. Aurora HAS to do this, or Conceptos will never pay off its debt to Aldo.

Pointless preparations

For tonight's bachelorette party (for which they have been asked to provide entertainment), Celso and Saimon ask an "escenografo" (set designer) to provide a big "cake." Not sure if this guy's one of Luigi's employees, or what. Tomas shows up and invites all three of them to his bachelor party. Saimon then tells the guy they'll need two cakes. Clueless Tomas says no need - his mom's a baker.

Meanwhile, Alicia loafs in Marcia's office and hints around that there's something very important that good friends do for one another when one of them is about to get married. Marcia plays dumb. Finally, Alicia demands that Marcia organize a bachelorette party for her. Marcia says it's already been arranged. Alicia wants to know what kind of gifts she'll be getting. Cars? Cash? Crystal? Marcia says just wait.

Great, now it's just another engagement party

Alicia is not happy at all when Marcia brings her to Lety's house. They are greeted warmly by the cuartel, Julieta, Carolina, etc.; plus Moty, who really should have been invited to Tomas's party. The only unsmiling holdout is Tomasa, who is scowling with that half-worm-in-the-apple face and folded arms. Marcia is impressed with the party and amused by Tomasa.

Meanwhile, all the Conceptos guys (plus Omar and RoboPop) are at Tomas's house. Tomas is paying the delivery men for a gigantic paper cake. "Does that include the tip?" Tomas whines on seeing the bill. "Apparently it does," the delivery man says, disgruntled and sarcastic. Saimon and Celso jump out of the cake wearing loincloths and dance for a few moments before realizing they're at the wrong party. Luigi is thrilled and tells them they should be in "Solo Para Mújeres." A hahahahaha. Saimon and Celso try to jump back into the cake. Luigi suggests that the rest of the men all strip down to keep them company.

Back at Lety's house, a similar cake arrives, with a different surprise. You guessed it. The woman is determined to dance for her money. Irma tries to explain the mixup. PM and Sara dance with the woman (let's call her Jane, as in "Tarzan and"), but Julieta wants them to stop. The doorbell rings - it's Saimon and Celso. Julieta is even more shocked. Tarzans see Jane and start dancing. No one else looks happy except for those three! Enraged, Tomasa covers them up with a festive table runner. Celso explains that Jane was supposed to be at Tomas's party. Julieta is scandalized. PM is upset to see Saimon dancing happily with Jane. Tomasa and Julieta both forbid to let Jane dance around Tomas and Erasmo.

At the Mora bakery, RoboPop impatiently wonders when Jane will arrive. (I suppose he is looking forward to lending her his sweater.) Luigi says he prefers the Tarzans. Poor RoboPop is clueless.

The Tarzans return to the party without Jane. They explain that Julieta fired her. Aldo suggests that they combine the parties. Hmm... I think that defeats the purpose of a bachelor/ette party, but since there are parents and company officers involved, perhaps it's for the best.

So they all go to Lety's house.

Tomasa asks Marcia, hey, you're Alicia's friend, so where are all of her people? Her family, her friends? And, uh, what about boyfriends? Marcia says maybe Alicia should tell her this herself. She calls Alicia over, who approaches with a snack in each hand. Tomasa tries to arrange Alicia's hair to cover her boobs. Alicia is loudly asked how many boyfriends she's had. Tomas interrupts by saying that Aldo wants to speak. Caught off guard, Aldo just says okay, let's toast the happy couple. They all clack their polystyrene cups together.

Alicia quietly asks Tomas if he's told his mother that she's divorced. Tomas says HELLZ NO, if she found out she'd cancel our engagement.

Marcia leads a beso cheer. Before the happy couple can react, Tomasa steps right in front of Alicia to collect a kiss from her dear son. Marcia tries again - "beso, beso, beso!!" Tomas says, "if you insist!" and he and Alicia lean in together - this time, Tomasa gets between them and receives a misdirected kiss on both cheeks.

Nightmare on Tomas's street?

The next morning, Tomasa is surprised to find her son, rather than Alicia, sleeping on the couch with his teddy bear. Tomas flashes back to last night - he was snoring in bed when Alicia snuck in and woke him up. Groggily, he started mumbling about the check, but she said she didn't want that. He realized he had only been dreaming about her. Then he realized that he was awake, and pulled a blanket up over his pajama-clad chest for modesty's sake. Alicia said she wanted to sleep in his bed. He happily complied. She then pushed him out and pretended to be asleep. When he protested, she said, "what, in your mother's house? Have you no shame? Wake me up with breakfast tomorrow, and really cold juice. Zzzzzzzz..."

If you ask me he should have woken her up with some really cold juice... in her face. But that would have messed up his bedsheets. Anyway, he tells his mother a greatly simplified and sanitized version of the story. She is impressed by his nobility.

She refers to Alicia as "La Oxigenada" and says she learned of this nice nickname from the cuartel at the party. Confused, she says that the awful cuartel told her that Alicia's their jewel, and she wasn't sure what to make of it. Were they making fun of her? Tomas says they all admire Alicia. His chica is their idol.

"Tu chica," Tomasa scoffs. "Your fancy chica."

Scared rabbit

Lety is out in her bunny suit, running with Aldo. Suddenly, Tomas's voice is haunting her, warning of the pending penalty and/or lawsuit from RetroMod. "No more!" she yells out loud. Aldo thinks she wants to stop running. She says she can't take the pressure, and has to leave Conceptos. Right now. "Lety's go to Acapulco today," she panics. Aldo is reticent. Lety whines, "But you set me free so that I could go!" Aldo reminds her of why she refused to leave before: because she didn't want to leave until she had saved Conceptos. She'd have that failure hanging over her head for the rest of her life and always see herself as a screwup. Well, now Aldo feels the same way, so they're staying. That way he'll go to Acapulco with a complete, happy, undivided Lety. They'll emerge triumphant.

Lety asks, what if she has to do something that he disagrees with? She thought-bubbles about the Aurora situation. Aldo can't imagine what she might be referring to. He says he trusts her and that she can count on her support.

Then there's some mush and baby-talk. But just a little.

Sybil

Fernando is on the phone with JR. Neither of them has any news about Aurora. JR threatens Fern again with the indemnity, lawsuit, etc. Fern bangs the phone on the desk and explains it off as "bad reception." He assures JR that there's no need to remind him of what's at stake. He hasn't slept in a week. He hangs up and curses Omar.

Lety arrives, and Fern and Lety bring each other up to date on the lack of new developments. He says that he needs this project to succeed, for his parents and for himself. But Aurora will destroy all their hopes. Lety says, "My other me told me it'll all be fine." To Fern's vexed reply, Lety amends, "I mean an angel told me."

In the Vortex of Stupidity

Condensed version:

PM: Wasn't that a great party?
Alicia: You've got some nerve. It was soooo common.
Lola: Huh, you seemed to be having a good time.
Alicia: I was pretending I was somewhere else. BTW, what's with the no gifts?
Sara: The party was your gift, you ingrate.
Martha: Someday you'll need us for real.
Alicia: Get out of my sight!

(continue regularly scheduled exchange of insults)

Return of the Big Girl Panties

Tomas is looking at Alicia's guest list in disbelief. He's thinking maybe he'll have to cross out all of his own invitees to make room for hers. Um, Tomas, before you cross anyone off, maybe you should wait and see how many RSVPs you get back from Alicia's friends... you just might be able to sneak in a few extra guests. *snicker*

Lety comes in and starts babbling about Aurora. Tomas shushes her, for fear someone will hear. Lety says she almost wishes someone did hear, so she could stop hiding. She's decided that Aurora is going to have to do the RetroMod campaign, after which hopefully she can disappear forever. She's doing it for Aldo, who sacrificed everything for her, and for Fern. She can't be selfish any more.

Meanwhile, Fern is tidying Lety's desk, exactly as Lety used to do for Fern. He tells himself he must work harder than ever to save Conceptos, get Lety back, and send Aldo home to Acapulco.

Lety and Tomas enter with the good news that Aurora has agreed to do the RetroMod job for a fraction of her original demand. But only if she can deal with Fern as little as possible! Tomas says they have an appointment at JR's (whose last name does appear to be Reynard/Reinard and not Reynolds, but I kinda like "JR" because I keep wishing someone would shoot him). Fern is ready to leave right now. Lety says she can't go, and isn't needed anyway.

Just then, Aldo comes in, saying he has to meet with his publisher. Fern assumes that they're actually planning a nooner or something. Lety sends Fernando to his room and tells Aldo that she'd love to hang out with him at the publisher's, but she has to go see JR and sign the contract. (Tomas takes all the credit for Aurora's cooperation.) Aldo agrees to see Lety to her car. Tomas will drive over with Fern.

In the Whirlpool of Boredom

Marcia tells Alicia that except for being at Lety's house (which Marcia and Alicia aren't crazy about, seeing as how their last visit there resulted in an altercation with the neighborhood gang and a trip to jail), the party was okay. Fun and kind of extraordinary. Alicia says sure, it was fun for you - you were just a spectator. For Alicia, it was humiliating. She's only marrying Tomas out of necessity. Marcia scoffs and says poor Tomas deserves better. Offended, Alicia says he's not poor - his mother owns a big bakery.

Alicia then unleashes her wrath on Marcia: "You've never been my friend. You don't like me. You make fun of me instead of supporting me." True enough. Marcia replies that she can't do that - she's not Alicia's mother, or her sister. (Well, Alicia's mother is dead and I don't think she has a sister...) Alicia says sure, but she's her friend, and the only one who can save her from this wedding that will be her emotional ruin. Marcia: And how do you suppose that I can save you? Alicia: Let me move in with you! Marcia: Forget it. I'm selling my place ASAP. Alicia: How unhappy we are... but you more than me. Marcia: How do you figure? Alicia: I'm marrying the VP of Conceptos, while you have to live on the street or with the Mendiolas!

Back in the Vortex

Omar steps off the elevator in semi-casual clothes. His fan club, the cuartel, gathers. He is looking to avoid Aldo, and talk to Fern about maybe getting his job back. (Sara clutches him possessively.) Lola tells him that Fern, Aldo, Lety, and Tomas have all gone off, and they're going to do some RetroMod stuff. Omar realizes he's going to get to see Aurora, and skips back to the elevator. The cuartel gets excited too, at the prospect of possibly getting another crack at that dinner with Fernando Colunga prize.

Oh please please please please let this turn out to be what it looks like

The publisher and Aldo compare notes on the development of the Flavor of Life cookbook series. There's a ton of material. Aldo wonders why the publisher isn't editing all this stuff; the publisher is like, "you're the expert." But there's someone to help Aldo with this task.

Enter Carmina Muñiz, a Flavor of Life writer. She's pretty. She and Aldo exchange glances impactados. Either they already know each other, or they're going to elope soon. I hope so.

At RetroMod

JR and the white-haired guy chat. JR says Conceptos sure is a weird company. White-haired guy says yeah, but they're good.

Fern and Tomas arrive and prepare to take their seats. Aurora comes in a moment later, just strolls right in without waiting for the receptionist to see her in. She's wearing sunglasses. She sits down in Fern's seat. Fern complains that he doesn't understand why she doesn't want anything to do with him.

The three Conceptos people look at JR expectantly. He looks at them.

"So? Where's Lety? She has to sign the contract!"

---

Tomorrow
Predictably, once Lety shows up, JR wants to see Aurora again.

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