Caray, Caray!

Caramel doesn't know what to do. She saw Puncho kidnap Max, and believes Demento is the mastermind behind it all. If she says nothing, Maxi-Martyr's life could be in jeopardy. If she calls the police, her hubby and brother-in-law will rot in jail. Pobre de Caramel.

Demento is still tormenting Max. He blames Max for Dimwit not loving him. Demento has clearly gone crazy. Maxi-Martyr wants to settle it man to man and calls Demento a coward. Finally Demento takes the rope dog toy and starts lashing Max's back. "This is for crossing me!!!" Max writhes in agony. I'm ready for this story line to end.

Dimwit wants to know why Max didn't call her with a report on the injured worker.

Marfil is trying to get the Big Doormat to talk some sense into Max and convince Max to quit his job at Perfumes 'R Us. Marfil starts making some nasty comments about Dimwit, and Yolanda tells Marfil Dimwit is a good woman. Besides, Dimwit and Max share a kid. Marfil is furiosa, but Yolanda refuses to discuss it any further and walks away. Marfil calls her an infidel.

The two grannies are sitting on the sofa playing with Barbie dolls. Granny DS asks if Granny M is a hairdresser. Granny M says, "I've told you a thousand times, I was a seamstress." Granny DS laments her bad memory and Granny M mentions that Dimwit wants to hire an assistant to tend to her 24 hours a day. Granny DS hopes the assistant is as sweet and marvelous as Dimwit.

Jorge walks up to our blue mermaid, Sylvie, on the beach. There is some exchange in which she says all men on the planet are weak. Jorge says she's bitter because Puncho made a joke of her.

More of the torture. Max begs Demento to kill him but Demento wants Max to suffer the way he (Demento) has suffered. More words are exchanged about Dimwit. Finally Demento announces that Puncho will eventually finish him off. The only way Max is going to leave is feet first. Dramatic music and the camera pans back to show Maxi-Martyr hanging there suffering.

Fidiota shows up at Perfumes 'R Us to have a mother-daughter talk. Fidiota tells Dimwit that Rodrigo is going to assist with Little Doormat's defense. As always, the conversation turns to Maxi-Moron. Fidiota doesn't want him with Dimwit. Dimwit whines that she still loves him.

Marfil is poolside faux crying. Lunkhead, ever the brainiac, wants to know if it's about Max. "Of course it is! He's working side by side with THAT woman!" A boring conversation ensues; just because Dimwit is now a free woman doesn't mean Max is a free man. "He's MINE!!" declares Marfil.

Dimwit and Fidiota are still fighting about Max. Dimwit loves Max and Max loves Dimwit. Fidiota dredges up every evil thing Max has ever done in his life, not to mention the things his evil mother has done and his lunkhead brother. Dimwit isn't backing down. Finally Fidiota spews, "I see you prefer him to your own mother!!!"

Caramel approaches Lala completely agitated. After what seems like forever, she finally blurts out Max was kidnapped. . .by Puncho!!! Lala is muy impactada!

Mommy Dearest and Dimwit are still fighting about Maxi-Monotonous. Fidiota would rather see her own daughters dead than in the arms of an Irascible! Fidiota is rapidly joining the list of psycho, evil characters in my estimation.

Marfil and Larry are also fighting about Max. Lunkhead points out "he's just not that into you! Move on. Let it go." Marfil retorts she spent years sleeping in a bed, and she has absolutely no intention of EVER letting Max go. She and Max need to be together forever!

Lala and Caramel are trying to figure out what to do. Obviously calling the police isn't even on the radar. Lala finally tells Caramel to not say a word. Lala is going to talk to her two malditos hijos! Caramel asks God to help Lala. Suspenseful music plays.

Little Doormat comes into the president's office and sees Dimwit crying. "What's going on? Did something bad happen at Perfumes 'R Us?" "No," replies our hapless heroine. "I just had a fight with mama. She would rather see us dead than happy with an Irascible!" Dimwit states she's made a decision. She is going to fight for Maxi-Moron with or without Fidiota's approval. Little Doormat is awed by Dimwit's bravery. Commercial.

Sylvie is on the beach talking about some book she read. I'm not sure if she's given up on finding love or what (can anyone out there clarify?). At any rate, she fantasizes about a different man for each day of the week. Each man appears on a split screen with a strategically placed sign which reads the particular day of the week. We then get to see some of our "healthier" actors, some of which are supposed to be naked (except for the signs they are carrying). Iggy is shirtless with a pair of black trousers for Monday. Puncho is "naked" for Tuesday. A totally ripped Luscious is "naked" for Wednesday. Loved the washboard abs! He must spend hours at the gym. Jorge is "Thursday" and is supposedly naked and kneeling on one knee. Emili-Oh is "naked" on Friday, and on Saturday, Rene has on blue jeans and a black jacket with no shirt. His contract obviously states he must be dressed.*** As an aside, he used to be a model according to one website. *** When he lets out that little growl, I just went wild!" Sunday we're treated to Diablo with "nothing" on but a long black trench coat. Sylvie opines that Diablo is so bad, that she's not going to devote a full day to him. Therefore, we also see Kike "naked" on Sunday. Sylvie gets all hot and bothered and puts on her Paris Hilton over-sized sunglasses. I'm not sure what this scene has to do with anything. Perhaps it's a lure to keep women watching.

Lala comes home early from work and confronts Demento about Max's kidnapping. Of course he denies it. She finally says if they don't produce Max, she's going to contact the police and turn over her two ne'r-do-wells!

Now it's Puncho's turn to torture Max. He appears with a handgun. Maxi-Monotonous wants to know how Puncho can be so cruel. More words of torment. Finally Puncho tells Max to calm down; Max's death will be rapid when the time comes.

Eugenia and Isabel are hanging out when there's a knock on the door. Eugenia leaves and in walks a woman, hiding her face, swathed in black. Kind of like the grim reaper. It's Debora in a long red wig. Isabel wants to know what the heck she's doing in the house of Isabel's poor dead nephew. "Andres is dead?" asks Phantom Debora. Isabel explains that Andres was killed by Little Doormat, one of Fidiota's daughters. Debora wants to make a deal. She needs Isabel's help and will pay her more than enough to leave this rat hole.

Gaby is babbling on and on to Caramel about how Dimwit stood up to Fidiota. Caramel is clearly distracted. Finally Gaby asks what the heck is going on with Caramel. Caramel says she can empathize with Fidiota.

Granny M is talking to Fidiota about finding a caretaker for Granny DS. Fidiota doesn't really care, "Just hire the best one." Fidiota then pours herself a triple. In walks Dimwit and Fidiota asks Granny M to leave. Fidiota wants to talk to Dimwit alone. Once Granny M has left, Fidiota wants to continue their prior discussion. The Orchestra of Doom plays ominously.

Lala begs Demento to let Max go. At first Demento denies having any knowledge of the kidnapping, but he finally says Max deserves everything he gets after what happened with Dimwit.

Fidiota and Dimwit are still fighting about Max when the doorbell rings. By now Fidiota is on to another triple. It's Marfil. Now SHE wants to speak with Dimwit. Apparently Dimwit can't catch a break today.

Marfil begs Dimwit to give up Max; trying to lay a really heavy guilt trip on Dimwit. "If you're truly as good a person as everyone says you are, you'll give up Max." Tears for all! Head tilt and glassy-eyed stare from Dimwit.

Puncho is getting ready to dispatch Maxi-Monotonous. "It's a shame it had to end this way for you!" He puts the gun to Max's head and Max hangs on to his ropes looking pathetic. Suddenly we see Demento approaching from behind Puncho. Demento makes Puncho put down the gun. Max tells Demento, "I see you're not as much of a coward as I thought. You're going to kill me yourself!"

Lala is saying a prayer to the Virgin. "Please don't let my sons kill Max. Save him! Save him!" Still no one is calling the police. Doesn't this make Lala and Caramel accessories?"

Max is telling Demento to kill him, because if he doesn't the first chance he gets Max is going to kill Demento. "Kill me!!! Kill me!!!" Max's lower lip is now quivering. Demento says, "If that's what you want…" Demento then puts the gun on Max's forehead and holds it there for five minutes until…

Credits roll.

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