Caray, Caray!

*****Note: Episode #97 has a draft started but the recap isn't available for viewing yet. If you don't want to miss a single exciting moment, you might want to wait to read this recap!!*****

Octopus is fighting with Pasta. She is wearing what looks like golden chandelier earrings. She's mad that Pasta kind of neglected to mention Fidiota's release from jail. He's been hiding things from her.

Diablo is giving a clearly deranged Bruno directions to "find one of her babies" at Psycho Mansion. Bruno is so excited at the prospect of seeing either Marfilita or Deborita. Diablo is gloating that Dimwit is going to pay for all the suffering she has brought upon him.

The two grannies are fawning over Maxito. The baby is clearly having a wonderful time being on the set and is all smiles. It almost looks like he's totally amused by Granny DS, although it's hard to tell if his real mother is actually standing behind Granny. At any rate, Granny DS seems to be having a lucid moment and knows Mini-Max is her great grandson. Granny M leaves Mini-Max on the bed in Granny DS's care, while Granny M goes downstairs for some food. Mini-Max is happily lying on the bed. We know where this is going. . .The camera is about an inch of the floor, following Granny M into the kitchen. Bruno then comes around the corner in what looks like stockings rolled down around her ankles. She bounds up the stairs calling for Deborita. Meanwhile, we catch a glimpse of what must be the ugliest lamp known to humankind. It's got a picture of someone that looks like Robin Hood on the base.

Octopus is pressing Pasta for an answer. "Are you seeing Fidiota behind my back?" The doorbell rings just in the nick of time for Pasta. It's Yolanda. Octopus says now's not the time for a visit, but Pasta tells Octopus to quit being rude. The Big Doormat has come to discuss Peyote's Predicament. She's in Orlando with Puncho-the-Varon. Octopus says she doesn't care what Peyote does, or who she does it with. Peyote made her bed, she can lie on it!

Emili-Oh calls Dimwit. He tells her how wonderful the convention is going and how many marvelous contacts they've made. I'm not sure when all these hot contacts were made, since I've only seen them hanging in the hotel room or by the pool. I guess I must have missed all the business transactions when I was nodding off from boredom. Emili-Oh explains that Puncho is at the same hotel with Peyote. Perhaps Dimwit can call Caramel back to Miami to avoid a possible fight. Dimwit is afraid Caramel will think she's not doing a good job. It would be better to call Pasta and explain the situation. He can help.

Granny DS is telling Maxito a story; it's a cross between Cinderella, Snow White, and Little Red Ridinghood. In struts Bruno to reclaim one of her twins. Bruno pushes Granny DS away and gathers up the baby. Granny DS blocks the door and says there is no way Bruno's leaving with that baby. Meanwhile, Diablo is downstairs wondering what's taking Bruno so long.

Pasta is on the phone. He agrees to go to Orlando and retrieve Caramel before she runs into Puncho and Peyote. Yolanda suggests Octopus go with him, but Octopus can't fathom for what purpose. The two sisters bicker about Peyote and what will happen if Caramel and Peyote see each other. Octopus throws Yolanda out.

Diana is in her office staring at the door between her and Max's office. She's thinking about how much she loves him but can't have him. Of course Maxi-Moron is on the other side of the door staring at it and mooning over Dimwit. What a pair of saps. He walks over to the door and puts his palm against it. He looks like he's going to start drooling at any moment; either that or start kissing the door. Meanwhile Dimwit walks over to the other side of the door and places her palm against it. At least she doesn't have the same slack-jawed look as Max. She just has her stereotypical vacant look. They both share a thought bubble about how much they want to kiss one another and take each other in their arms. While the syrupy love theme plays, we are treated to a split screen view of their fingertips touching each other's faces through the door. Let me wipe away my own glycerin tear of true dolor! Not. Commercial.

Bruno knocks over poor Granny DS and steals the baby. Granny DS is laying on the floor sobbing. Fidiota runs in and wants to know what's going on. Granny DS tells her Bruno stole the baby. "Are you sure?" asks Fidiota. This exchange goes on for awhile until Granny M walks in and asks where's Maxito. Granny DS has to explain the story all over again. Fidiota and Granny M are skeptical. Finally Fidiota runs out of the room to find the baby. Meanwhile, Bruno is running with a stiff blanket-wrapped lump down the street. "No one will ever separate me from my baby!" She looks like a soldier running for cover in a really bad war movie.

Octopus tells Pasta to wait. She's going with him to Orlando. She wants to prove she's a good mother.

Lala comes running up to Diablo saying the baby's been stolen and Fidiota is running down the street looking for Bruno. Diablo fakes concern and says "Let's go!!"

Apparently "The Moment" is gone. Max is bringing in documents for Dimwit to sign. The phone rings and Dimwit asks him to answer. It's Fidiota saying Dimwit needs to return home immediately! Bruno has stolen the baby! Max puts on his best lemon-sucking expression. Dimwit does her signature head tilt and glassy-eyed stare.

We get a gratuitous vision of a bare-chested Emili-Oh shaking his head and hoisting himself out of the pool, dripping wet. Puncho comes running up and the two start threatening and insulting each other. Peyote runs up all smiles and happy to see the two of them getting along. Her dreams are quickly dashed as the threats continue. She finally has to pull Puncho away from Emili-Oh. They keep threatening to knock each other's teeth out. My money is on Puncho, the "Macho Varon."

Max tells Dimwit that Bruno allegedly stole their son. They both run out.

The family has gathered in the Psycho Mansion living room. Diablo wants to know why Max has to be involved. "Because he's the father, you baboon!" says Fidiota. Diablo starts to object, but Fidiota cuts him off mid word telling him it is not the time to start with his stupid games. Gaby walks in with Sylvie. Sylvie is wearing electric blue lace pantyhose, an electric blue t-shirt, and a black mini-skirt. This is topped off with a lavender wig. Everyone is addlepated.

At Miami Merciless Medical, we see a doc and nurse talking to a mummy whose back is to the camera. They are talking about her burns. . .Gee, who could this possibly be? Suspenseful music plays in the background.

Isabel is pining over her nephew and only family member, the recently departed Andres. He actually looks good in the picture. Isabel says Fidiota and Gaby are going to pay for their crimes. There's a knock on the door. Bruno appears with the baby. Bruno doesn't know which daughter it is, but she wants her only friend Isabel to take care of the baby while she returns to the street to find the other twin. Isabel wants to know where the baby was stolen from, but Bruno is not to be distracted. Bruno is a "Loca" on a mission! Bruno runs out and leaves Isabel holding the baby. Isabel exclaims that Bruno is crazier than a goat and begs her to come back. Alas, it is too late. La Psico is long gone.

The cluster quagmire continues at Psycho Mansion. Max agrees to call Marfil, since maybe she'll know where her mother went.

Bruno is digging through a pile of palm trimmings looking for her other baby. She's scaring a couple walking by on the sidewalk. I wonder if they got paid to be in this scene.

Max is talking to Marfil on the phone. No, she's not involved and has no idea where Bruno would go. "Would you like me to join you at Psycho Mansion and give you my loving support?" Max tells her that's not necessary. Marfil promises to call if she hears anything. After she hangs up, she tells us she hopes the baby is never found!

Octopus and Pasta arrive at the pool in Orlando. Octopus blends in nicely with the pool crowd in her black lounging pants, CFM's, and her long red sleazy split-down-the-middle halter top. Pancho is chatting up a gaggle of women poolside. They are all feeling his biceps and chest. Pasta sees him and punches him in the mouth, knocking him into the pool. All the women are now laughing at him versus with him.

More of the cluster quagmire at Psycho Mansion. To my knowledge, the police still haven't been called.

Isabel is trying to figure out what to do with the hungry, wet baby. She runs out the door.

La Familia is still running around in circles. Max is leaving a message for his mother to call him back immediately. He needs to talk to her about Bruno. Diablo and Max exchange words about whose son it is. Finally Fidiota and Max leave to look for Mini-Max. They tell Diana to stay put. Max wants to know what Sylvie is doing at the mansion. Sylvie responds she's gone "good" now that the telenovela is apparently winding down.

Caramel is coming out of the shower in a big white fluffy robe. Pasta bursts in and tells his daughter she needs to return to Miami immediately. Meanwhile, Octopus is reading Puncho the riot act for being such trash. They exchange insults and Octopus ends up slapping him. More threats until Puncho grabs her by the hair and kisses her! They are still swabbing each other's tonsils when the scene ends.

Hours after the fact, Fidiota and Maxi-Moron arrive at the police station to report Max's son stolen.

Isabel has apparently fed and is now changing the baby. The baby seems happier. Isabel realizes the baby is a boy, not a girl. She wonders where the baby came from.

Pasta is still trying to convince Caramel to return to Miami, but our fiery redhead refuses. Note that Pasta isn't telling her WHY she needs to return. He wants them to catch the last flight out. "No, no, no, and no!" says an adamant Caramel.

Octopus breaks away and tries for another slap, but Puncho grabs her hand. More words are about to be exchanged when Peyote walks in. "What are you doing here?" Octopus replies she's come to take Peyote back to Miami. Peyote wants no part of that suggestion. She's there with her beloved hubby. Somewhere during this exchange Peyote asks Puncho if someone hit him in the face. Puncho claims he walked into a door. "If you only knew…" states Octopus as she's storming out. "Knew what?" asks Peyote. "Who knows. She's loony (chiflada)!" says our Varon.

Octopus and Pasta meet in the hall outside Caramel's and Peyote's rooms. They fear the two fieras will eventually come face to face.

Back at Psycho Mansion, Larry and Yolanda have come to join the party. The doorbell rings and in bounces Bruno looking for her other little twin. Her hands are all aflutter. She is clearly deranged. Dimwit tries to shake her, but alas, that only works with cell phones and MP3 players. Commercial.

Still no luck shaking sense into Bruno. She's looking for her other twin. Everyone is muy impactados.

Pasta and Octopus are trying to figure out what to do about their daughters. Puncho is lounging around reading the paper and Peyote is begging him to join her in a bath. He's marveling at the bad luck of having his two women in the same town, in the same hotel, at the same time. To make matters worse, his in-laws have now arrived! There's a knock on the door and in walks Emili-Oh all dressed up with nowhere to go. He's in a crabby mood.

Back at the Manicomio, Max is still trying to get Bruno to return to reality long enough to tell them where the baby is. She doesn't know. She just knows she wants her twins back. Bruno has some pretty impressive facial expressions here; she looks like she's channeling Carol Burnett in one of Carol's skits. Then Sylvie starts in trying to question her. Bruno keeps yelling, "I don't know, I don’t know, I don't know. . ." in a shrill voice. In one frame, it looks like Gaby is actually laughing. I must admit this scene was pretty funny, although it's not supposed to be. Thankfully another episode comes to an end and

Credits roll.

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