Caray, Caray!

Sofia, on her way back to Montalveña, portentously tells Dani: "I may be back here sooner than you think."

Blondie asks Gav straight out: "How's your love life going? Because you whacked on Minerva you have to get the hell out of Dodge, these catfights are bad for CRT's prestige. We want you to come to the London office - with ME!! I need an immediate answer." "But my mom -- " "She can come TOO!" "Still, I have to ask her. And London is not exactly a place of good memories for me -- " "That can CHANGE! You can live in a GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD and enjoy EXCELLENT CULTURE [and coffee? -Ed.] and meet VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE!!"

"If I don't accept, can I keep working here?" Blondie says that would be tough - she couldn't go to any Important Parties and couldn't keep working at her current elevated level. "Then the spiders have won..." She refuses to give an answer.

Pilar looks happy talking to Roberto on the phone. I forget who Roberto is. She urges discretion.

The Sperminator's secretary calls Daniela to cancel her appointment for the umpteenth time. She decides to go sit in his office until he'll see her. There are a lot of people in his waiting room. She tells the secretary she'll wait until dawn if necessary.

Gav calls, to find out if Rod's psychologist is (hopefully) old or married. This information is a critical component of her go-to-London decision tree. Dani is non-committal.

Rod tells Isa he's glad her parents are back from their super luxurious luxury cruise or wherever they've been: it's time for deadbeat daddy to pay up. And she, menacingly, says tonight's the night to talk about divorce, particularly DINERO.

Rod calls Erika and, all brisk and cheerful and confident, asks her to go look at new offices with him and then have dinner.

Francisco and Sofia are back at the hacienda. Ofelia and Roman fuss happily over Sofia and ignore Frankie completely. He complains (nobody is listening) about the agonies of flying tourist class and asks Ofelia to make him a glass of pineapple juice with celery and perijil which is an ingredient too fancy to be in my dictionary. He brags to James that they had champagne on their flight.

An extra arrives and says there's trouble out in the fields. James jumps up and wants to go but Frankie says no, it's my work. He dashes out. Sofia: "Ofelia, you can forget about that glass of juice."

Sofie and James look at page after page of calls from Frankie to Isa. Sofia is rabid; she can't believe she ignored so much evidence that Frankie was playing her. "Isa betrayed me! I helped her! I sided with her even when I didn't agree! She's a ruin! A low rat, there are no words for her vileness!" [Excuse me, what about Frankie?] James is sympathetic. She continues, "Why was I so stupid? It was right in front of me, I didn't want to see it, I can't accept that Frankie married me por interes (to get his hands on the loot)." She reviews, to rub salt in her wounds, the many times her suspicions should have been aroused.

Out in the fields, Frankie looks with neophyte horror at some twisted, putrified agave plant. The guys say they need CRT's help, this is an emergency, but Frankie doesn't want any scandal. "Maybe it's just this one crummy plant that didn't get enough copper sulfite and the others are all fine."

They ignore that and ask what they should do. "For the moment, nothing - and don't say a word to James." [This guy would make a fine president of the United States. --Ed.] He dabs himself nervously with a fine silk handkerchief.

At Isa's apartment (La Basurero, heh), big Ricky is dandling little Ricky and saying the kid looks to be an authentic Duarte - "I don't see anything of the Montalvos in him." At this Isa demands that the nanny remove Ricky Junior (a.k.a. the incriminating evidence).

She tells Ricky Sr. it's time to get with Rod and pay up. "Babydoll, I've had a severe financial setback and won't be able to pay him."

Isa loses it and starts screaming, "You can't do this, you'll go back to jail, you'll deprive me and little Ricky of the fat, fat divorce settlement which would set us up for life, Rod will get the apartment, the car, you got me into this now get me out!"

Nuria sides with her husband, but Isa says the tables are turning: "Sofia's no longer on my side, Dani is on the way to discovering the truth about Ricky Jr., she'll convince Rod one way or another." "Then run away with us to the Bahamas, we'll get you a good divorce lawyer there." "The baby has no passport and I'd need Rod's signature!"

Daddy goes to call his bank buddy, but the bank buddy has looked into the situation, doesn't trust daddy's 'clients,' and refuses the loan. "Don't worry, Princess, Rod is rich, he can take the hit."

Isa shouts some more: "I hate you! Get out of here!" She sobs and sobs as visions of the expensive cars that were to have been her future fade into the distance. After the commercial she stops crying and gets a little Scarlett O'Hara backbone. "I'm not conquered! Rod and his family will give me what's mine!"

Frankie, still dabbing his anxious sweat with his fancy handkerchief, walks into the bar. Crispin to bartender: "Here comes that clown." Frankie commits what even I, a lifelong teetotaller, know to be a big fat bar faux pas - he says "nothing" when asked what he'll have.

He asks Crispin as casually as a sweating, terrified jackass can ask: "Hmm, I have a - a friend - he didn't have enough money to use enough copper sulfate on his agaves - there's been a l'il outbreak, nothing significant - but - if copper sulfate were to be applied now, would it solve the problem?" "No, copper sulfate is a preventative measure, it's too late for that. He would need, instead, TEXTO-60 FUNGICIDE (don't tell me this was a product placement!!!!!!), and it's very expensive." "Aren't there any other alternatives?" "Yes..." (Frankie brightens hopefully) "... tell him to pray."

Isa barges into Rod's office and gets the usual que haces aqui? (everybody was supposed to learn this one: "What are you doing here?"). "I came to give you good news: Daddy can't meet you today but he can settle up with you on Monday. Meanwhile, I need to de-stress, I'm taking little Ricky to the beach." Rod says no she isn't, she says she is, he says she isn't, and she grumpily stalks out.

Then Sofia calls and wants Rod to run right over to the hacienda. He says he's too busy, she says it's a delicate matter and she'll come to the city and be at Pilar's the next day.

As Isa is grumpily stalking, Francisco calls. Fleeing putrid agaves, he suddenly can't live without her. She reminds him what a jerk he was the previous day and says it's too late. He begs and begs: "I had an infernal night, my marriage is over, I'm so anxious, I'll get on a plane right now, there will be a future for us, I can't stay here at the hacienda, it went to the devil in my absence, and James wants to run it anyway." He tries his crappy French on her.

[My daughter asked me the other day to try to be a more optimistic person. What can I say?]

Well, the Sperminator has avoided Dani for weeks and weeks, but he's stuck now. The last, last patient leaves and Dani's still there. He lets her in. He starts by mumbling the stupid lies scripted by Isa long ago. "Doc, enough of the cat and mouse game, tell the truth."

Dani explains that this kid is the trump card in a gigantic big-bucks winner-takes-all Montalvo war - "The kid would be the last inheritor of the Montalvo fortune. I want documents I can take to a geneticist to review, and then I won't bother you again."

Tejeiros starts mumbling about getting somebody right on it (like in the next century) but Dani cuts him off: "Or, I know, let's give little Ricky a DNA test right away. If he passes, we'll give you a case of tequila and our apologies. If not, it's lawyers and jail for you."

Tejeira folds. "She was already pregnant when I did the tests for her. She said it would ruin her marriage - she would have to abort - my life is the struggle for life in the womb - I had to help her - " "And how much did that help cost?" He folds further. "At first I didn't accept her checks - my ethics and my career ended when I helped your sister-in-law - at least I never had the nerve to cash her checks." He hauls out a big envelope with wads of checks in it. I gather by Dani's eyebrow-raising that the sums were large. She asks who the father was but he doesn't know.

Frankie is breathlessly rushing around preparing his evacuation. "SanJuana, get my suitcase and two changes of clothes..."

"Where are you going?" asks Sofia. "To the city, to uh, buy cattle medicine." "I'm coming with you." He tries to dissuade her, and he already has a ticket, and he says he's coming back next day. But she says she has business in the city herself. She gets her own ticket. Frankie makes a pointless crack about not sitting around Pilar's watching the family fight.

Sofia tells James that Rod should know, this very day, about Isa's affair with Frankie.

Rod reads the riveting CRT magazine. Well, his gramps is on the cover. He reads about the famous party, there's a big picture of Blondie and Gav. He sags reading: "Doctor Santovenia said he cannot imagine his life without her."

Gav is reading it too, Nancy looking over her shoulder and crowing, "Now all the world knows! All that's missing is an engagement ring!" Was there something about Rodrigo and "ant eye"? Gav thoughtbubbles: "My heart belongs to Rodrigo, there's no room for anybody else."

Blondie and Av* discuss Gav's personal life and the chances of her accepting the London job. Then - it seems some guy who was about to be sent to Madrid can't go. For a moment Blondie is terrified Av* is going to send him, Blondie, to Madrid instead - he insists he has to be with Gav in London (he's a little unhinged in his own wussie way, wouldn't you say?), Av* merely asks him to review the list of possible Madrid candidates. Blondie suggests Nancy deserves a promotion. [I say, not until she gets over those hysterical crying jags. --Ed.]

Aaron tries to get his dad to retire and let Aaron run the corporation unimpeded, it needs his energy. "Give it all to me while you're still alive," he suggests. [That sounded sort of like a threat, I thought. --Ed.] "You need to rest, you're tormented by the decisions I make, you'll have another heart attack!" "You propose to buy me out with your stock market gains?" Aaron says if that money isn't sufficient, he'll get a bank loan.

Bruno asks what he's supposed to do with his time if he sells out. "Travel! Be happy!" Bruno says, "Wait till I'm dead." Then he muses, "But you're in an awful big hurry for me to go..." He says they can talk about it later. Aaron gives him till the following day.

We end with Frankie, who still hasn't managed to get out the door. He pretends to be jealous of James and Sofie spending time together. Sofia says he doesn't have to come back. James asks: "What medicine is it exactly that you're planning to buy for the cows?" "Why, let's us go down to the stables and ask them what hurts!" is Frankie's weak retort.

Tomorrow: Dani tells Rod about Ricky Jr.'s lack of Montalvo blood and Rod knocks her down. Aaron and Gav have words about Clarita's inheritance.

Labels: Destilando