Caray, Caray!

Ahoy all, I've decided to leave town next week for the long holiday weekend. Unfortunately I won't be able to recap Juan Querendón on Thursday because where I'll be (Ensenada) the show is several months ahead of us. In fact last time I was there imagine my surprise when I saw Yadi giving birth! Anyway, I know it's a long shot, Thursday being Thanksgiving and all, but if anyone can sub-recap for me it would be great, otherwise no worries, we'll catch up somehow.

Thank you, and now on with tonight's show...

We have a quick review of Drunk Paula, Crying Paula, and Passing-out Paula. OK, the show starts and we get one more round of Paula except this time we have the long, slow version of her passing out in the bathroom. Juan busts the door down while Ana calls the ambulance. However Juan can't wait so he carries Paula out to the car while Ana follows behind in her bathrobe.

In the hospital - Juan paces while Ana frets. The doctor comes out with the news that Paula is stabilized but they had to pump her stomach. He asks if perhaps she might have taken something along with the alcohol? Ana thinks not but of course she hasn't been privy to the pill-popping Paula.

Juan calls a sleeping Mari to tell her that Paula's in the hospital and it's very serious. Mari says she'll be there right away.

The doc is having a serious discussion with Ana in his office. How he manages to keep a straight face while she sits there in her bathrobe while wearing Juan's bright two-toned green jacket is beyond me. I've heard they see it all in the emergency room but I'll bet this is a first. The doc asks Ana if she's aware that Paula was taking strong anti-anxiety medicine. They detected a powerful substance normally prescribed for depression and emotional disorders. He asks has Paula been down or depressed? Ana is impactada and asks is he suggesting suicide?

Juan prays to his favorite boy saint. He makes promises.

Juan sees a nurse and asks about Paula. Oddly, an older woman walks by, stops, sees Juan, looks shocked and dashes off. Was this a mistake by some extra or part of the plot? I'm confused. The nurse gives the standard non-answer and Juan looks anguished.

Break to the commercial and a big buildup for El Gran Noche de Televisión. It looks like La Fea's gonna take the whole darn thing.

Back at Casa Cachón, Mari runs downstairs amidst the wedding decorations which now look sad and spooky in the dark aftermath of the wedding that was a bit of a bust. Nidia thinks Mari is a burglar and almost bonks her on the head. Mari squeaks that she's in too much of a rush to explain and out she runs.

In the honeymoon suite Yadi is busy packing the hotel's towels and linens into her suitcase. How do you say "trailer trash" en español? Kike wonders what in the heck they'll use to dry themselves if Yadi's packing up the goods.

Kike moons over their fab digs and says Nidia planned it well. I guess she's probably footing the bill too. "Yep," Yadi says, "the Cachones really know the good life."

Speaking of which, Nidia is hysterical at Mari's departure and goes to Juan's room. Uh oh, no Juan. Nidia is impactada...has Juan run off with Marely???

Kike tells Yadi he's feeling muy cachondo. Hmmm...cachón means to have large horns, thus Kike is feeling very horny? Or a play on words that he wants a bit of Cachón? Works for me. Yadi retorts that "me voy dar una manito a gato", going to go to give a little hand to a cat? Que?? I'm not going to touch that one. Whatever, they're both feeling sexy and she goes off to get into something more comfortable. (UPDATE: Marycelis notes that "give a hand to the cat" means "to freshen up".)

Kike, feeling a bit peckish, sees the "ro-om sah-veees" menu (as he calls it, cutely reading in English). He decides to call in an order...he'll have the classic tortilla soup, an order of crab, another of lobster tail, comes with rice? OK, fine. Four beers to help wash it down, some stuffed tortillas, nice and soft, and a side of black beans. Thus his magnificent belly is explained.

Ana asks Juan if he knew Paula was taking anti-depressants. Juan is impactado. He swears he had no idea but he admits that Paula told him she wanted to disappear. They go back and forth, "it's my fault," "no it's my fault." Ana wins the I'm-a-bigger-asshat-than-you-are argument by pulling rank. She's the mom and when Paula was seeking help all she offered were reproaches. She loses it completely and says if anything happens to Paula then she'll have no reason to live. The boring Ana manages to make even this shared scene with Juan a sleeper.

Nidia, desperate because nobody else is home, tries to wake Delirio who snoozes happily and noisily on the couch. No luck though, because he's another one who's sleeping off his drunk. She calls him a useless old fart.

Wow, Kike's food has arrived and it's a feast...tackily decorated pineapples, gigantic prawns, coconut drinks and much more. He stuffs his face but unfortunately the smell of seafood makes Yadi nauseous. She holds her mouth and dashes out while Kike asks his taco "what's up with her?"

Gawd, back at the hospital with bawling boring Ana. May I FF? Oh wait, Mari shows up and Juan fills her in, it's the last thing she would ever imagine, it seems Paula tried to take her own life. Mari is going-into-commercial impactada.

And what a commercial! We go right into Pasión with Fernando kissing Susanna. Man I cannot wait for that show to start.

Back at the hospital we finally get to see Paula all sickly and hooked up to machines. She's wasting her coma-time by having flashbacks of CL, bleck. OK, now she's dreaming of Juan which is much better, mostly cuz he's nekkid. Huy, she's remembering when they made love. She remembers some more. Back in the hospital room her heart is racing. Oh wait, that's my heart. Heh, just kidding, it's Paula's.

Mari and Juan discuss the situation and Mari blames CL for Pau's state of mind. Juan tells Mari about Paula seeing Monica go into CL's apartment. Mari insists Paula is a fighter and would never take the easy way out. By fighter I imagine she means constant whiner. Suddenly the doctor strides up and he looks Very Serious.

Ana, in scrubs, stands staring at Paula until Paula opens her eyes. Ana tells her not to speak, that way Ana can blab nonstop about what a rotten moms she is. Ana's scintillating monologue soon puts Paula back to sleep.

I guess the doc had good news because Juan is in the chapel thanking the Virgencita. Gosh he's cute when he prays. He says he's ready to fulfill his promise and all he needs is a sign. Mari walks in and kneels next to him.

Kike's postprandial panza is even more gargantuan than normal. He and Yadi try to get romantic but are interrupted by a scary noise. Yadi squeals, is it some great beast growling? A horrible animal? No, it's Kike's stomach; he doubles over in pain. She asks how could he do this on their honeymoon? "How sexy!" she sneers at him as she leaves the room, "let me know when you've digested the beach ball!"

Back at the hospital Juan is enraged and tells Mari that he's going to call CL and sing the three truths to him; his betrayals have almost killed his palomita. Mari stops him, it's Paula business and she's the one who should confront CL. Ana arrives and tells them Paula opened her eyes. Juan dashes out like a cartoon character. When Ana thanks Mari for being there Mari responds that Paula is 50% sister but 100% friend.

Juan peeks in at Paula. She actually looks really good without makeup. Paula is worried about who knows that she's in the hospital. "Only I, Marely and your mama of course," answers Juan. She makes him promise that nobody else will know of this. He agrees only if she promises to close her eyes and rest. When she smiles sweetly at him he goes off on a long thought bubble about his silver goddess recognizing the wisdom of following Dr. Juan Dominguez's orders, blah blah blah. He smiles idiotically.

Another ad for Noche de Estrellas, this time for the best villainess. Looks like it's Edith Gonzales from Mundo, Fabiola Campomano from Duelo and some other chick I don't know. They pan the audience and is that Eduardo Santamarina with a moustache? He shouldn't hide that face of his with hair.

Yadi sulks while Kike snores and sleeps off his gorging. We are treated to a very long scene of Yadi trying to wake him and/or sleep through the snores, she tries putting a ridiculous pillow over her head, sleeping in the bath, putting her fingers in her ears, throwing water on him, rolling him out of the bed, calling the room phone...nada. Yadi whines that she wants her mommy.

Mari visits Paula and another pointless conversation ensues. Basically Paula admits her stupidity, takes Mari's hand and says she's thankful she's not alone. Mari's the best sis in the world.

Once Paula goes back to sleep Juan convinces Ana to go home and get some rest. He'll stand by. Marely tells Juan that he doesn't seem of this world, he's not at all like other men, she thinks that's why it's so difficult for her not to love him. She kisses him on the cheek and he looks at her like...love maybe? But what kind?

The sun rises as Juan sits at Paula's bedside. He thought bubbles profusely that they began to talk like it was the first time, like two souls who'd known each other always, they laughed and Juan amused her with his stories.

When Mari gets home Nidia is waiting for her. As Delirio snores loudly in the background Nidia asks Mari where did she leave Juan, in some hotel room?

"Que? What are you talking about?" asks a bewildered Mari. Nidia rants how ugly it is for Mari and Juan to sneak out and keep the truth from her. Mari refuses to play along or explain. She runs upstairs to get dressed for work.

Back at the hospital Juan regales Paula with his description of the beautiful sunrise. She smiles and thanks him. I'm sure her gratitude will last about as long as it takes CL to show his face.

At Casa Cachón Nidia is shocked to see Yadi walk in the door. Yadi announces that she just abandoned her husband. Nidia clutches her heart.

Cut to the honeymoon suite where we are treated to a camera angle right up Kike's nose. Luckily for us he wakes up and yells for his amorcita. He looks around, sees a goodbye note and wails that she left him.

Nidia demands to know how Yadi could leave Kike on their wedding night. Yadi has answers: 1) instead of going out to dinner he ordered room service, (eek, exclaims Nidia, that wasn't part of the package!); 2) his intestines put a stop to all romance; 3) he went to sleep and nothing could wake him, absolutely NADA; 4) his snoring kept her eyes open the whole damned night. Therefore this marriage is over.

"Why Me???" bawls Nidia, "why am I stuck with two such daughters? One abandoned her husband on her wedding night and the other snuck off to a hotel with Juan!" Yadi does a double-take, que????

Juan phones Pastor to ask for the whole day off. He already cleared it with the Licenciada. Pastor, observed by the naked portrait of Juan, grants him the day off but asks Juan if he's telling him the truth. Juan assures him he is, however he looks at the phone distastefully.

Mari arrives home and is shocked to see Yadi. Yadi gives her sis a hard time for spending the night with Juan. On the flip side, she wants to hear all the details. Nidia joins them and she's all ears too. Mari gets huffy. "Yes I was with Juan," she gloats, "and we spent the entire night together making love like wild animals! Are you happy now???" Yadi and Nidia are gaping-in-stereo impactadas.

Tomorrow: Premios TV Y Novelas 2007!!!


a esta que mosca le pico = what's up with her?
ansiolito = anti-anxiety, anti-depressant?
cachondo = randy, horny
carcacha inservible = useless old fart, useless bag of bones
chelas = beers
UPDATE: me voy dar una manito a gato = go freshen up (Lit. give a hand to the cat)

Labels: Juan