Caray, Caray!

Hola Amigos, I am filling in for Schoolmarm Jeanne whom I owe big time. Last time she subbed for me she got stuck with a 2-hour episode!

Well, I never did hear the answer to Angarita's question from Thursday, "How are things at the Cachón house?" but we will find out and them some. Before we get to that, let's check in with Monica...

Moni tells her ex-maid Chelo that she needs a pair of eyes in CL's home to keep her apprised of the state of his marriage. Chelo balks, she's not sure she's up to the challenge plus CL knows she and Moni are like fingernails and dirt, i.e. thick as thieves. Does Moni give up? Hell no. Chelo finally admits she's mad at CL for his treatment of Moni and would like to teach those dirty bums a lesson. Monica lays out her plan.

Angarita paces the marketplace and finally picks up the phone. Nidia answers but calls him 'Anita' because Delirio is in the room. Anga tells Nidia he has to see her. Nidia tells 'Anita' she'll see 'her' soon. When Delirio tries to interrogate her Nidia tells him the call was from her lover and she's on her way to put the horns on Delirio...sheesh!

Chelo visits CL at work and pitifully begs for her job back. He rehires her on the spot. She waggles her eyebrow impishly; he took the bait!

Monica threatens Ivonne that the only reason she's still at Farell is so she can sabotage CL's marriage. Moni wants results and soon!

Nidia shows up at Ana's place wearing hideous Dame Edna type sunglasses and dressed for seduction. She's on her way to visit Angarita but she told Delirio she had a class with Ana so here she is. Ana frowns in disapproval (as usual) but Nidia begs her to understand, with Angarita all her defenses fall to the floor. Nidia hefts and struts her stuff, she's on the verge of grandmotherhood and this may be her last chance to boogie. Nidia wants Ana to be her companion in adventure (she uses 'aventura' which means 'adventure' but also 'affair'). Ana the terminal wet blanket says no way, she wants to be left alone. Nidia responds that Ana's attitude is her very problem; Ana needs heat, aventuras, men...and, well, Nidia needs to use Ana as her front.

Paula welcomes Chelo to the house and, using her pea brain for once, asks Chelo if she can cook.

Nidia, disguised in her Dame Edna glasses that completely draw attention to her, arrives at the market. She runs into Yadira, eating as usual. Yadi scolds Nidia and asks why she's there. "I called her," answers Angarita as we walks up from behind, "we have important business to discuss." Yadi blows a gasket and Kike tries to calm her by reminding her that it's Don Anga who feeds them.

Alone among the bananas Angarita tells Nidia he has a proposition. "Decent, or indecent?" she asks hopefully. "Decent," he responds, "do you want to work here with me?" He claims he needs a personal assistant. (I like these two, they're cute; kind of flirty and kind of shy.) Nidia plays hard to get, says she's busy with her art classes. She suggests he offered her the job just so she could be close to him.

Yadira, between forkfuls of chilis rellenos, tells Kike she's going to tell 'that lady' (her ma) three truths...three!!! Kike says she doesn't know Don Anga, he's a good guy, don't jump to conclusions. "What conclusions?" demands Yadi, "Did you see Ma's face when she saw that old fart?" Kike calms her down and reminds her that Nidia Cachón does what she wants. Yadi mutters she won't stand by with crossed arms; after all, she's a Cachón and a half!

Angarita strolls up and Yadi demands to know what he wants with her ma? Angarita says she's in the office considering his proposition. "What, to be your lover?" she shrieks. Angarita starts to respond but Yadi hauls off and slaps him.

A horrified Kike separates them. Angarita calmly tells Yadira that he offered Nidia a job. Yadi scoffs and accuses. Angarita coolly tells her she doesn't know him but he's known her mother for a long time and he would never, ever propose anything indecent to her. He tells Yadi he's not the second course and as long as Nidia is married they'll never be anything but good friends. "And if she weren't married?" challenges Yadi. Angarita admits it would be a different story. He tells her that Nidia is the only woman he's ever loved, he's adored her all his life but he won't share her with anyone. Yadi is open-mouthed impactada and for once has nothing to say.

Yadi and Angarita are face to face...same chiseled cheekbones, same pointy chins, same triangular faces...I swear he almost calls her mija. But no, he touches her face and tells her she's just like Nidia was when she was Yadi's age. She has the same look, the same temperament.

Nidia is back at Ana's chowing down on a big plate of spaghetti. Ana thinks a job is a great idea. Nidia doesn't agree. She plans to make herself scarce thus driving Angarita crazy with desire; after just a few days of suffering he will arrive to abduct her from her home! Ana tells Nidia she watches too much TV.

Kike and Yadi discuss the Nidia and Angarita job situation. Clearly Nidia's nuts for him and as flirty as she is they'd be corrupted in no time. Kike says Nidia should tell Delirio the truth and marry Angarita. Yadi, between mouthfuls of tacos with guacamole, insists her ma is too old-fashioned for divorce. Kike almost falls over laughing.

At Casa Cachón Nidia excercises by doing 2 oz. curls with a male model magazine. Delirio arrives with a surprise. This poor dude is like the energizer bunny, he just keeps going and going no matter how many time he pisses Nidia off. This time he's got a bouquet of gardenias (they look like roses to me and anyway who ever heard of gardenias in a bouquet?). He says they have the house all to themselves and it's time for him to 'cut a beautiful flower from the garden' so to speak. She accuses him of drinking, they need to talk, Don Angarita offered her a job. Delirio snorts like an angry bull.

Moni and Marely are working late. Moni sighs that they need help, apparently she's not as efficient as Paula Davila. She asks Mari to peek and see if CL is still in his office.

Delirio goes on a tirade about Nidia working for that common laborer, none other than her lover! Nida shouts for him to get his mind out of the garbage. He has no right to offend a woman's integrity. She whaps him with a pillow and stomps off in a huff.

Moni pays CL an office visit. She pours them both a whiskey and happily observes that he's working rather late for a newlywed. Are there problems? He tells her she's the last person he'd confide in. She sits on his desk and crosses her shapely legs, "Haven't these past few months working together demonstrated that I'm truly concerned for you?" said the spider to the fly.

Paula sits at home literally twiddling her thumbs. (What, she can't go out and get her own job?) Chelo shuffles around pretending to dust. She asks Paula does CL always work so late? Isn't she worried? "About what?" asks Paula. Chelo gets her stupid/innocent look and says "Well you know what they say, this office will never lack the alligators who want to steal your husband. Oh gosh, sorry, I blab too much. You're a newlywed and have nothing to worry about." She scuttles off, satisfied with her dusting. Paula calls CL but when he answers she refuses to speak.

"Hello? Hello?" CL hangs up. "A mudo (mute)," aks Moni, "or a muda? Perhaps a worried wife whose husband hasn't come home?" she enquires gleefuly. CL leaves in a snit, commenting that he doesn't care to hear her monologue. "Hope you fix your problems," she happily shouts at his back.

Nidia, now locked in the office, drinks tequila while Delirio pounds on the door. He sets up camp outside the door and yells that he refuses to leave.

Yadi and Kike get home and wonder what all the ruckus is about. They try their hands at luring Nidia out but she announces she won't come out until Delirio leaves. Delirio retorts he won't leave until she comes out. Uh oh, it looks like Nidia is toasted. Her eyes roll back in her head and kerplunk, she falls over.

Yadi, Kike and Delirio hear Nidia's clunk and Delirio tells them to stand back, he'll break the door down. What happens next is a complete surprise of course (NOT). As Delirio backs up for a running start Nidia awakens and decides to open the door...Delirio flies through and crashes into the office.

CL arrives home to a darkened apartment. Paula, still up, offers to make him dinner. Even though he's probably starving he wisely refuses. Paula admits she called the office but didn't speak because she didn't want to bother him. They hug and make worried telenovela faces behind each other's backs.

Moni and her gal pal gossip about CL, he regularly works late but so far has not succumbed to Ivonne's temptations. Luckily stupid Paula hired Chelo who is Moni's spy. The friend (can't remember her name) is concerned that Moni is preoccupied with vengeance. She may end up hurting herself more. Moni vows she'll do whatever it takes to make them pay.

Marely has come home. Nidia is now locked in her bathroom feeling ill and the rest of the family, including Delirio with ice pack to head, stands vigil outside the door. Nidia finally comes out and announces she hurts all over, it's a problem with her bile she says, glaring at Delirio. She can't look at Delirio because he's the one who makes her sick. The girls and Kike kick Delirio out of the room.

"Ma, are you sure it's only Perafan who's making you sick?" the girls ask. "Of course," Nidia scoffs, fanning herself, "what else could it be?" (Editor's note: A big collective Uh Oh.)

Kike helps Delirio make up the bed in the spare room. Kike reminds him it's Juans old room; he reminisces about his soul brother, he expects him to come through the door at any moment with his little dance steps and his wonderful boots. Delirio pooh poohs Juan but Kike insists that Juan is sorely missed. He was at the helm of the family and if he were here he could keep Nidia in line. Delirio sadly admits that Kike is probably right.

Cut to Juan sitting on the beach. It's night and he stares out to sea. A hunky dude approaches and asks if Juan is thinking about a woman. Juan replies he's looking for work. "Dude, you have so come to the right place," replies the hunk, "tons of lady tourists come here alone, we'll pay you well, you can live next to the beach and all the food is free!" Juan is happy once again, where does he sign up? The hunk asks Juan if he speaks English. Juan fibs of course, and when the hunk tries to speak English to him Juan replies he knows many phrases regarding the hips (he shakes his), dancing, music, love and the sea, and these phrases are understood perfectly by the women of all five continents. (What, no women on continents #6 and #7 Juan?) The hunk, equally bad at geography, says the job is Juan's.
NOTE: Looks like this recapper was a little premature with her know-it-all attitude of geography. Upon further research "los cinco continentes" refers to Europe, Asia, Africa, America and Oceania. So within this definition North and South America are one America and Antarctica doesn't count. Sorry Juanito!

Bright and early the next morning Delirio wakes Kike, Nidia has gone, the shameless cínica! "To the clínica?" asks a sleepy Kike. "No, she's a cínica," corrects Delirio, "she's not in the house and was gone before sunrise." Kike is impactado, presumably because Nidia likes to sleep in.

Nidia arrives at Ana's house and is in a complete dither. She says all hell broke loose at Casa Cachón. "Delirio has a problem? Did you kill him with an ax?" asks Ana. "No, worse, much worse," cries Nidia, "I'm...I'm...pregnant!" Ana is hand-to-forehead impactada.

The hunk whose name is Hector I think, is looking mighty fine in his uniform of tank top, red shorts and shark's tooth necklace. Something tells me Juan will fit right in. Bikini clad girls stroll the grounds. Hector shows Juan around and describes his job; during the day Juan will help organize games, at night he must be attentive to the guests. Also, Juan should be on hand to help teach swimming. "Uh oh," gulps Juan. Turns out Juan doesn't know how to swim, which he actually admits.

As CL gets ready for work Paula announces she intends to look for a new job. (Good girl!!) Cl is incredulous. He tells her he had other plans, he thought he, and she...could have a child. Paula is impactada and not in a good way. We are reminded that any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental.

Monday - Juan looks HOT wearing his new uniform of red swim trunks. Guess he got the job (big surprise). He calls Marely. Every is happy to know Juan is OK, everybody except CL that is.


como uña y mugre = thick as thieves (Lit. like fingernail and dirt)
corromper = to corrupt
decorosola = decent
indebido/a = improper
lagarta = scheming woman
lagartone = alligator, crafty so-and-so
machetero = laborer, cutter (from machete)
meter en cintura a alguien = to bring somebody into line (Lit. to put the belt on someone)
otro gallo cantaría = it would be a different story (Lit. another cock would crow)
raptar = to abduct
resbaloso/a = flirty (Lit. slippery)
se armó la gorda = all hell broke loose (Lit. the fat armed itself?)
tapadera = a front for illicit activities
timón = helm

Labels: Juan