Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Guapos 04-22-2008 "Vine, vi, me chantajea"

Sorry I can not even pretend that I paid great attention to this episode. We all know where it is going to go…they break-up, have hawt kissing make-up lacking any actual sex and all is good again until..like maybe five minutes later.

The End…

Now then, at least I feel confident in passing along the Belemonte Family Motto
"Vine, vi, me chantajea" or I came I saw I blackmailed.

Okay, I will throw a few more details in there.
We begin with Val talking to Ma Luci about I think the trip was canceled cause her friend’s mother died or is sick or something, but anyway like the Valtrax Commercial, Val is back.

Brau or Glove’s as I prefer to call him is back at the mansion. He tries to tell Luci about his brushes with Death, but she has no time to listen. He gets a quizzical look on his face.

Consti of the recent beating has forced Bobby to give up Damien and Bobby takes Consti to “Damien’s House of Gambling & Pink Bunnies”. Is it just me or were those just not the most pathetic Energizer Bunnie Costumes? Consti is in a state of total P.O.ness, this could ruin his stellar political career.

Meanwhile Rocky is driving the car and he has a huge floral arrangement perched on top, I can only assume it is a tribute to his late (he thinks she is dead) love. Oh there is bound to be a Wiley E. Coyote, paints the tunnel on the side of the mountain moment with this misunderstanding. He sees Val walk into a doorway, but thinks it is a ghost.

Over at the office Damien comes in to see Al about the worker problem or strike. Al says help me out with the workers. No que problemo nephew, for a few pesos; I’ll do the job. Al tries to say no, but quickly crumples cause gosh, Mili is mad at him and that just can’t be. This guy is gonna be awesome at running the company. He cuts Damien a check.

Damien talks to the Foreman, how they are going to jerk Al’s chain. The patronizing Foreman listens to how it could have all been Damien’s had his ever worthless father not lost it. I for one think Damien would have been a totally excellent CEO..NOT!

Rocky is at the kitchen table with Horacio and Sorrocito and Lina, he is telling them that he saw Val. He tells them Val is dead. They just think he is crazy in love. No he tells them that she died in a plane crash and he must help her go to the light. Basically they think he is crazy, but they are bored and thus will play along.

Yolanda, (I think that is Gloria’s mother’s name), shows up at the front door. Gloves answers the door and tells her to go round to the servants entrance, but Mili the great equalizer lets her in. Mili then comes into the dorm room and Yolanda follows her. Gloria tells her mother that she has nothing to say to her now, not after she abandoned her all those years ago. Gloria is crying, Ma is crying, Mili is crying and does a Mili spin on it and tells Gloria to listen to her mother. Mili’s mother is dead and how she wishes she could see her mother. Geez, she never wants to see her father? Well really ignorance is bliss in that case.
Mili leaves them alone.

Damien is sitting in a chair, I’m not really sure where it is, but it is full of “Consti for Emperor” posters. Damien looks all comfortable, Consti walks around behind him and puts a gun to Damien’s head. Do you know what this is? Damien lets out a long suffering sigh, yes it is a pistol. Poor Damien, he sounds like a school kid who has taken the same quiz four times. Like Consti, Asshat, do you think you are the first guy who has shoved a pistol to my temple? That is so last month.
Consti, queries if he should kill Damien. I’m surprised Damien doesn’t let out a big old yawn right now, Please if Consti hasn’t killed Damien after these long Viente Anos, he isn’t going to do so now. He says Damien has to sign over his part of Casino (at least I think it was the Casino to Perleta). Two thugs now come in from “Perleta’s House of Crime”. I am so confused, do these people not know any other shady types? I mean everybody in the family hires the same hit guys, and as of yet except for a few bitch slaps no serious damage is ever done. Let us not forget that Andrea is also boinking Perleta, so literally and figuratively Perleta is screwing the entire cast.

Back at the mansion, beep beep time for the tunnel train. A séance is about to begin amongst the humble servants. Candles are burning, hands are held, Rocky calls out for the spirit of Val to appear. Val happens to walk into the kitchen and queries what is happening. The three dayplayers, Horacio, Soccorito & Lina get up and leave. Rocky is screaming go to the light, go to the light. Val thinks he is crazy, for once we agree. He keeps saying she is dead. Oh now I get it, Val is smitten with Rocky cause he is actually dumber than she is and that is saying something. She slaps him after he does a wolf stare at the fourth dimension ass. Hey he said fourth dimension, I didn’t. He loves it. All is right with the world. Val is back and Rocky won’t have to pay a drunken crack whore to berate him, Val will do it for free.

Mili is upstairs filling Granster Regina in on the reunion of Gloria and her Ma. Knock Knock, Mili goes to the door and Gloria is standing there. The reunion went well, she is going to see her mother.
At this point, I for one am convinced I will now spend an evening sleeping like a lamb.

Now in full Prick Mode, Consti comes to scream at Al, telling him he is ruining the company. Yes, it is about to implode after the twenty minutes Al has been at the helm, so unlike the kind nurturing Consti gave the company these long Viente Anos.

Al goes home and Bobby is in Al’s room. Al does a full lament to Bobby about his awful day, Bobby asks if he wants to be a heartless bastard like his father. Well Bobby is half right. Knock Knock, Mili comes in and starts her yelling at all Al full bore. If I was Al, I’d elope, just so I could give her the big smack down. Spousal Abuse is not so much of a crime in Mexico. Okay, I am not a supporter of Spousal Abuse, but damn these people. This guy is already so whipped. Mili is going to tell him how to run the business.
Al quickly tells her that he made nice with the employees and everyone still has there job. So now they kiss makeup and start talking about getting married in secret. Karla is standing out in the hall and Al is like shhhh let me close the door. Too late Karla has the 411. After closing the door, Al and Mili start serious kissing and Te Amoing. We all know that is as far as it is gonna go.

Next we see Karla on the phone with Andrea, she says, “Have I got some news for you”. Andrea is thrilled she says soon Al will be only hers. Karla wants to know why. Andrea is not really to let the Hija news out yet. Unaware that Consti can see the Mili Bastard and raise the Al Bastard. Yes Andrea best not to show your cards yet.

Damien goes to see Perleta and signs something over to him. He arrives home and Karla sees his face, he tries to brush her off, but she drags him upstairs, I guess sex will help, well I guess it can’t hurt.

The next day…finally

Gloves comes in to see Luci, she has yet another errand for him. He says send Rocky, nope she wants him to do it & listen “Princess that is an order”. Gloves counts with he knows she set him up to be murdered. Luci feigns surprise. She is so unconvincing. Really bad acting, which really translates to really good acting cause she had me at fake wide doe eyes and open mouth. Glove proceeds with the news that he has left a paper that should anything happen to him, the blame goes straight to her and all the deep dark family secrets will be revealed. If only Luci didn’t wax, she could have twirled her moustache with a foiled again.

Could someone PLEASE tell me, what the hell happened to Luci? I mean she is taking over companies, boinking her ex, putting hits on people. What happened to the pathetic, small Walmart suitcase packing bundle of drunken nerves? Did I miss her Assertive Classes or did Miss Sanchez’s eight grade class just do an abrupt rewrite of her personality?

Over at the company, Al meet with the workers who start demanding things like ten additional days vacation. He says no, they counter, he tell them to hit the bricks. Now all the workers are gone again.

Andrea tells Al she backs him all the way and she is really happy that he is so happy with Mili, by the by Al you should fire her. Anyway the Golden Boy believes her, she then starts asking questions about if Mili is maintaining her purity until they are married. Al asks why is she asking? Just curious. Geez just curious and classless too. Andrea gets that squinty eye look, thought bubbling, “You will be mine, oh yes you will be mine.”

Perleta is at the house meeting with Luci, this guy must have a serious off shore account, but I guess just keep milking it. The geese are still laying those golden eggs. Luci calls off the hit on Gloves, Perleta is ready to have him whacked, but Luci says no and explains about the paper. Gloves comes in on some pretense and before leaving tells Perleta he also named him in the paper. Egads now Perleta is foiled again.

Hard to imagine, but it appears Gloves is the genius in this group, okay so it isn’t hard to imagine.

Now, Consti gets a 9.5 on the RatBastard Prick Scale, cause yes Consti; Al is a spoiled Ass, but only in a spoiled rich I’m awesomely good looking kind of way. I mean he doesn’t have a bad heart and you are such an Ass to him. In fact you are an Ass to everyone who is weaker than you, Damien, Luci…everyone.
Damien is a spineless worthless human, but he knows it. You don’t know it.

Now then it looks like Al and Mili get in another huge fight over the workers…Who knew? I thought it was smoooth sailing ahead. I guess I won’t rest easy tonight.

Labels:


Comments:
Wow, fast work! Once again, the recap outshines the actual show. At least that gives us something to snark on :)

I love your one minute summary of the Al-Mili relationship :)
 

Agreed! I paid little attention to this filler episode, and I loved your recap. Once the blackmailers start blackmailing each other I lose count and my eyes glaze over.
 

We are getting some seriously goofy episodes here. I like your theory about the 8th grade class...I'm thinking they are the same group that wrote the dim-bulb Duelo de Pasiones.
I found the whole Rocky-thinks-Val is-dead seance bit dumb and tasteless. Time to wrap this telenovela up. Pasion is coming to an end this week and the viewers are really sad, but I think we're all going to heave a sigh of relief when this one ends.
 

Beckster: Yes, your recap was better than the episode itself. I agree with JudyB, it is time to wrap this silliness up, but unfortunately, I think this show goes on for a long, long time.

Anyway, Mili walks in to a meeting with the president of a company who is in an important discussion with employees, interrupts, misunderstands, draws ridiculous conclusions, and blames Al for something she really knows nothing about. How bad can it get.

Good thing she's pretty and can sing.

From lower Ala
 

The problem with this show is that they mix great episodes with terrible ones. The good ones keep me going, whereas on Amar I bailed, because they were all terrible.
 

Gotta agree with you, NinaK, on Amar. That was one lame telenovela. Even worse than Duelo de Pasiones (which was often inadvertantly funny...and the recaps were hilarious)...but yes, there have been some good episodes and good acting which keeps us hangin' on.
 

I did not watch Duelo. I was very new to novelas then, and I found the beginning very violent, so I never watched more than part of episode 1.
 

Well, then you miss our Duelo galan's "wide bass mouth kisses" which were part of the inadvertant humor.
In contrast, I love Alejandro's tender little one-lipped nibbles.
 

Go Braulio! Finally someone is thinking.

I'm still enjoying this show, but perhaps I just have low expectations. I prefer not to think when I'm not getting paid for it. I do think we have gone over the lack of communication/ensuing fight routine more than enough times, so I'm definitely ready for some character development and plot progress there. My dream scenario: Mili goes to school, Alex visits the wizard and gets a brain and starts noticing the obvious, they team up and run the company to raging success and Andrea and Damien are forced to be the janitors while wearing shackles.

I'm starting to come around on Vapid Val. I think the actress is doing a great job so we can see that there is hope for redemption despite the way she's been ruined by her parents. When she was packing for her trip that didn't happen, it was kind of sad because her own mother didn't seem interested in the details, she was just like, sure, leave, and then when she told Pilar why she was leaving she seemed disappointed in her reaction, like she was hoping someone would tell her to stay, and that dating the chauffeur wasn't the worst thing ever.
 

Julia, I too am really having an amusing time watching this show. Unlike most of them it moves quickly along, although I have a hunch that is about to stop fairly soon, and we will be dragged along for months waiting for those two big anvils to drop and they won't drop at the same time. I suspect much misery awaits Mili but not so much Al who is too clueless to see what goes on around him. I've noticed a handful of new names in the credits which alas means more new faces to deal with.

I do occasionally feel sorry for Val. Both of her parents ignore her, Luci because the only thing in the world outside of booze that matters to her is Al and Connie because he is so miserable that he doesn't see the affect he has on his daughter. Val doesn't seem to have much of a life and maybe Rocky is her salvation. He at least would dote on her but she has a snotty attitude adjustment to make first.

When this ends in the fall I suspect I will miss it, not just turn to something new like I did with Duelo. Unfortunately Fuego looks awful to me even with a good cast and the synopsis didn't make me want to watch. Maybe what ever replaces Jaun Q if that mess ever ends will entice me.
 

Thanks for the laughs, Beckster!

I got a hoot out of Bobby letting Connie in on the casino secret – he has him listen at the wall! Like a few feet away he hadn’t heard anything! I guess Damien had the foresight to not to put dinging slot machines in there, but still, you’d think Connie would have heard something by now.

Since we know this is going to be a long show, I wish they’d taken the time to let us see the conversation between Gloria and her ma.

I was surprised that Karla was nice to Damien after he got beaten up – he has slammed her good a couple of times, telling her how she’s way beneath him, so you’d think she’d just add a punch – what’s another bruise when he looks like that?

Did Andrea do Perlata? I’m not remembering that… but she’s a busy girl and it’s hard to keep track.

Yes, Luci’s character has been re-imagined, and not for the better. It seems like before she was someone who was just worn down into nothing by Connie’s constant put-downs and that if she had a little love, she’d be okay. Meantime, she kept hanging on to her belief that it is worth it all to have a good name for her son, and that therefore it must be that people without good names are worthless, or what has all her sacrifice been for? Now she’s been re-written as stupid, vain, and cruel – even to the point of putting a hit out on Braulio.
 

Maggie,

Early on Connie said she was stupid. In the beginning we only saw her drinking and throwing fits over the servants. As time went on we have seen more of her true character. She will do anything, say anything to protect Al and her secret. Braulio for his own reasons gave her the idea to stick it to Connie by getting involved in the business. All she did there was redo the office and dictate a fake bio so the things she has done lately don't surprise me. She is just showing how self centered she really is. No reinvention just exposing more of her as they are doing with everyone else.
 

Yes, Maggie...Andrea really did do Peralta. Can't remember why at this point but she went to his office, seduced him and got the info or whatever she wanted as a result.
As far as I know it was just the one time, but obviously it was memorable...for Peralta at least.
 

Anon 3:06 – I’m gonna have to disagree on this one. Remember the scene where Luci told Connie she came to love him at first but that he was so hard on her, she lost that? And the scene where she runs into her school days boyfriend and is briefly aglow? And how she tried for a while to get some happiness with her shrink? I can’t imagine those scenes being written for her now. She was tragic in a way before – and of course Connie calls everyone stupid, including the virtuous Alex, who okay, isn’t exactly mensa material, but still. Now she’s not tragic in any way, nor three-dimensional, she’s just shallow, mean, and maybe nuts – a generic baddie.

And thanks to JudyB – now that you mention it, I remember Peralta saying how great she was in the sack!
 

I agreed with all of you the show is getting tiresome. I like your interpretation of the Belemonte Family Motto "I came I saw I blackmailed". Right On!
Personally, I am hoping that Frego en la Sangre is going to be better.
I also want to hear more of Allison Lozano's singing. Unlike you, guys, I enjoy Rocky's comedial antics such as the hiding around to assist Horacio and Socorro's romance to protect it from Karla and his foolish behavior over Valeria. He mades me laugh. He sometimes resembles me of Fernando of La Fea when he was hiding and spying on Lety.
The guess that the story is going to change with a bigger detour with the arrival of Francois. So maybe soon we will see the unveiling of the secret that Consti was trying to keep and that Mili is his daughter.
I hope I see more comedial antics of Rocky because I have been trying to be faithful to this show by watching it every night, but at times I do want to stop until towards of the end. I will try to be faithful, so if there are writer of this show out there PLEASE IMPROVE!!!!!!
 

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