Caray, Caray!

I remember this song, I guess I saw it when I was a kid or something, but I found this link on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGMZ1dN7eT8&feature=related
This pretty much sums up how Mili and well Al must feel.

Wow tonight was another hard one to watch, let’s see….
Hmm if there is a moral message here I believe it would be…
Life is fleeting and if you are carrying around some deep dark secret…
That you promise to reveal only on someone’s deathbed….
Perhaps this would be the time to rethink that plan of action…

We open with that nasty scene of Mili telling Al, that she never loved him it was all about the golden ducets. He doesn’t believe it and presses for a kiss. Luci, watches with her thin lips, just ready to jump in.
Mili squeeked about brother loving, stops him and says, “Ha good looking, you were so easy, I played you and you fell for it completely, I never loved you.” Al is a broken boy toy.

We see Consti in the car with Andrea, now she is driving. Last night he was driving all crazy, but at some point she must have traded places so he could devote more attention to sobbing and lamenting the crappy way he treated his sainted Mother. She died without knowing Mili was her missing grandchild. The one thing that would have put the smile on her face as she went toward the white light. Consti continues to rant that he was a coward all these years. Andrea continues to listen to his self abuse. She asks if he will tell Mili he is her father. No, but he will protect Mili.
Ed-Oh I get it, and that will make everything okay.

Over at the funeral home there is much sadness, Mili and Al are in Granny’s room and once again, Al starts. Seriously, I feel awful for him, I mean Al is a bit of a dim bulb, but still. He just lost Granny, the only person in the family that actually understood him (and it isn’t like he is all that deep) and now Mili flat ass dumps him. I mean Al, I am sure no one has ever dumped Al before. Al like everyone that has ever been dumped turns it into a fit of fury and starts saying anything and everything to make the dumper realize just what a real AssHat they really are. He says she fooled everyone, everything was a lie, she lied to Abuela. No Mili says, she loved Abuela. They are shouting and this is just painful to watch, not like the normally bad scenes, but because they both seriously brought it in these scenes. The pain was palpable.

Now the hospital guys come in to remove the body, it is time to ship Granny on to the funeral home. Mili and Al wail like hurt animals or poor motherless children, which they are, or in Al’s case in a perfect world.

Still we are left to wonder, where the hell is Consti, normally in these things they act like it takes five minutes to get somewhere in Mexico City, now it is like the middle of the night, little traffic and they still aren’t there. Maybe Andrea just continues to drive in a circle around the famous Angel Statue in Mexico City waiting for him to shut-up.

Const finally arrives with Andrea in tow. He is crying I guess letting loose of twenty years of bottle-up emotion. Luci pulls him aside to inform him that it is really not appropriate to bring your Amante to the post death bed of your Mother. Consti shruggs her off.

Okay..it is now official, Luci just sent tin foil on metal fillings sensation through my very last nerve that not already sensitive to her. I used to feel sorry for her, well not sorry, but I did smirk when she screwed Consti over…but no more.

Now for a quick just in case you were wondering, we are beamed over to crazy ass Flor’s apartment where her sister is trying to get her interested in a Greek Cruise. Flor continues to lament how Al married that nasty little thing. Her sister is doing some serious eye rolling. I feel sorry for her sister, I mean that is one dramatic chick. I hope sis doesn’t buy Travelocity non refundable tickets, cause I think the ship has sailed.

Also Mateo, lawyer scum is out with his buddy celebrating Gramps giving him his money. He has decided to forget chasing down the rich servant babe, and to get on with his life, like spending his own money. Oh yeah he has a new uber macho motorcycle, as if that would help his metrosexualness. You know he has a man purse, come on Mateo don’t lie it isn’t a laptop bag, it is a purse.

Now it is time to go, people must get ready for the funeral, Mili is just shaking all fetal like on a couch. Val tells her they have to go. Go Where? “To get ready for the funeral”, Val answers. I don’t have a black dress. Val says she’ll give her one.
Val, you are my new girl crush. I think I could party with you & Rocky, Oh yeah ask your Uncle along.
Everyone tries to get Mili going, Hugo steps up and she goes with him. Finally only Consti and Al are left.
Ed- Al is seriously breaking my jaded heart in this episode.
Al is so broken and he reaches for his pretend father, Consti turns his back on him and walks away.
Ed- Well Good, now those of you that were worried Luci would spend eternity in hell by herself, well worry no more cause Consti is going to be right there with her.

Now the next day.
We are like in the reception area. Consti is further lamenting his evil AssHat ways. He is doing the famous crying on the casket scene. He tells Ma that Mili was her granddaughter and how sorry he is that he never told her, how he has been a coward all these years and how he betrayed the love of the only woman he ever loved, Rosario. Luci of the dry eyes, overhears, well because she crept up on him and eavesdropped . How come every other episode she has red rimmed stoner eyes and she is all clear and refreshed now? To paraphrase, Luci is like, trying to assuage your guilty conscious, isn’t it a bit late?

Consti fires back that he wants to tell Mili about her parentage and in fact he wants to tell all the kids the truth. “What tell Al that he is a Bastard?”, Luci queries. “He already suspects,” Consti answers.
Ya think? Luci says, “He only suspects, he doesn’t know the truth.” She tells him he will lose everything, he will lose the love of sweet lil Val, not to mention any chance of getting elected. Consti gets an oh crap I forgot about that look. Luci has now raise her voice to “Alpha Bitch Level”. Al & Val come in and give Luci a verbal slap down, telling her to leave Papa alone and for the love of God, show some respect.

Now more people are arriving. Mili arrives with her posse of chicklets. (Whoever did her make-up did an awesome job, or maybe she wasn’t wearing any, but she is all drawn and pale and has red splotches like someone who cried all night…Kudos instead of making her look all sad and sweet, she just looks broken).
Andrea is there and she is crying, really, seriously, she really is crying. Nestor arrives and glams onto Al, he is hugging him. Padre Manuel arrives and asks Luci how her conscious is doing. Nestor turns around and Luci introduces Padre Manuel. Nestor says, no need, I have known him all my life, we are brothers. Luci looks muy impacted. Padre leans over and says, I’ll go see my nephew. Oh Snap.

Val and Rocky are out in the reception area. He hugs her and she thanks him for being there for her. They sneak a kiss, but it is sweet not skeevy.

Meanwhile we flash over to Mateo, telling Gramps about some meeting. Mateo will have to handle it as Gramps has to go to the funeral. Matt’s ears prick up.

Now we go to a store where the Mafia sisters are looking at clothes. Flor of course is being her normal annoying self. I bet her sister wishes that she was a Bastard and could get a new family. Flor’s phone rings, why it is Luci, she tells her that Al didn’t marry and bye the bye, Granny died, hows bout dropping by the funeral. Flor picks up a black outfit and tells her poor sister, it is for a funeral.

Now we go to the service where Padre Manuel talks about what a wonderful person Regina was and how she is in heaven. Now see if I was the Padre I would choose this as a perfect time to give some pointed looks and tell the rest of that crew they don’t stand a snowballs chance in hell of ever seeing Granny again unless they change their evil ways. Hint Hint Hint.

Now the funeral is over and Padre hands a little box to Mili, who hands it to Consti. Everyone goes to this area that has pithy sayings by “St. Ignatius de Loyola”, and while watching this I thought he was the leader of the Spanish Inquisition, but Wikipedia straightened me out, he founded the Society of Jesus, members are called Jesuits. Well saintly man that he was, I am sure these people would try even his patience.

So we all proceed to what looks like a wooden wall of postal boxes. Oh they are little crypts. They open the box and place Granny in there, no fuss, no muss. Wow that was fast, her casket was just there earlier cause Consti was doing his best to warp the wooden patina when he sobbed all over it, now a mass later she is in a tiny box. Brau is sobbing against a wall of crypts and maybe someone can help here, I didn’t see the name, but that can’t be Rosario cause she is buried at the church. Anyway, Mili falls against the wall, Consti takes her by her shoulders and when she turns to see who it is, she runs away.

Now Luci of the eternal dry eyes is filling Flor, the Zopalote (vulture), in on the situation, seems like Mili was only in it for the dinero, she dropped Al like Luci drops an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, straight to the curb. She is rich now since she convinced the beloved Granny to adopt her ragamuffin ass. Flor is all up on it. Poor Al he just stands around crying. Now Matt is there with Gramps and he wants to see the rich girl, really he just wants to look, no funny business. Mili is standing between Hugo and Al who are fighting over her. Matt says, It’s you. She runs to Matt. Al tells him, look Brother do yourself a favor, stay away, she seduces men for money. Eeeeekkkkkk, Al marches off. Hugo tells Matt, stay away from Mili.

Now tomorrow we will have the reading of the will. Luci is like great then Mili is gone. Consti says no, she was his mother’s daughter and she is now part of the family. Get used to it.

The end.

Tomorrow..Flor is trying to sex up Al as he crying about his Granny. For those of you who saw Wedding Chasers, she is the Will Ferrell character, trying to get funeral sex.

Looks like Mateo asks to marry Mili. Oh my gosh is her luck changing, a fine sincere young man like Matt.

Oh no I almost forgot, Consti you are well over a ten on my RatBastard Scale
and Luci you just suck, seriously suck...cause you aren't crazy, you are just mean.

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