Caray, Caray!

Buenas noches a todos. Not that I watch “Mujer Casos de la Vida Real,” but if anyone was watching last week; did you see Padre Tadeo acting? I caught a few minutes of his acting. He’s pretty good as a normal, relaxed person, and seems much younger when he isn’t wearing that dress getup he always has and his hair isn’t parted weird.

Anyway, here we go…

So Frankie and Sarita catch their sibling counterparts making out in the woods. As always, the “monjita,” not to be confused with the alcoholic beverage, goes-off on her usual rant. Oscar makes a few faces at his brother and Jimena tells Sarita to loosen up, or else she’ll die “alone, virgin, and a martyr.” Sarita doesn’t care and will tell mommy. Jimena threatens to go live with Gramps. Oscar likes the idea of four guys and one girl; the odds are good for at least two of them! Sarita marches off pouting like the mature adult woman she is. Franco follows her. He asks her if she wants to be a nun. She doesn’t answer. He feeds her some line about how loving each other would bring them closer together, especially if kisses were involved. She, again, gets mad, doesn’t really say anything, and goes off pouting.

Benito and Octavio are looking over the plans for the new joy club they are building in town. Octavio congratulates Benito for his relationship with the rich heiress Sarita. Soon they’ll be married, and that will take the pressure off of Octavio. Eugenia, who is Benito’s real love, is standing in front of Benito while all of this is going on, and she walks away crying. Benito follows Eugenia and swears that he doesn’t even like Sarita. Eugenia’s worried that he’s going to go off with some girl from his societal class, and she walks away.
All these characters are so rude; the only thing they can ever do is walk away when they’re mad or upset. Did they ever consider talking about their problems up-front? Then again, that would flush half of our three-month-misunderstanding plots down the drain.

At the bar/club/stable/hooters we see Rosie come down from the ceiling in a cage. She’s singing about how it’s a shame she lost the man she loved because he didn’t know how to love her. What did any of this have to do with a suspended cage? Anyway, the important thing is that she and Franco share some looks.

That crazy woman who hides Luisito among the cardboard shelters is yelling at Pablito and his granny. Allegedly Pablito stole something, but never trust a psycho-woman’s word. She’s a freak in every sense of the term and can’t stop swinging her hips, swirling her head or wriggling Luisito’s arms. She blames Luisito for something… This reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld in her most memorable rendition of STELLA!!!

Speaking of crazy… Fernie is in his office yelling at his goon that he’s mad that Sofia wants to help run things around the hacienda. Logically, this would mean that he couldn’t embezzle funds anymore, which naturally makes Fernie mad. Thus he throws the grown man across the room and onto the couch. Fernie receives news that Franco has arrived. He grabs his whip and heads out on the war path.

Meanwhile, Frankie sees Rosie in the club. She tells him to never come back because he called her a bad woman. He can’t stop thinking about her and therefore can’t stop seeing her. I’m just going to make this comment right now. She is a perra! She is a bitch to Eva for no reason, she’s a bitch to Sofia, and she’s a bitch to Frankie. She’s always telling people who care about her to go away and never come back, and then ends up crying about it. My theory is that she lives near some nuclear-waste plant which is not only responsible for her large “girlfriends,” but also for her lack of brain cells and clothing. Actually, the waste plant probably caused many of Juan’s problems too.

So Fernie is talking to his faithful, whig-wearin’, sidekick. They talk about how much money they lost in that little fight they had with the Reyes bros. “It would probably be cheaper to get rid of them once and for all” says whiggy. Fernie agrees and says that they will have to set a trap.

The Reyes bros. are standing around in their house just looking at each other in the dark. Don’t judge them too badly; this is the only thing that they really know how to do. Juan opens a trunk. “What is this obvious link to our past that has been sitting in plain sight for years but we have never opened before now?” He asks. Not really, but you know how things are… Anyway he opens the trunk and finds old papers that are neatly put away in plastic coverings. He’s determined to find out who killed his parents. He opens a map and claims that “this land” is theirs.

Octavio is talking to his boyfriend. He saw the bricklayers with the Elizondo sisters. He says that they are in love. Octavio is surprised.

Jimena and Sarita are talking. Jimena wants to get married as soon as possible. Gabby overhears this and wants to know where the girls went. They lie and say that they went to see Gramps. Why can they fool her when it’s really obvious, yet incriminate themselves when they clearly didn’t do anything? Gabby wants to know when Gramps is coming home. The girls tell her that he will be staying indefinitely with the Reyes bros. “Esto es el colmo.” This is the only comeback Gabby ever has. “This is the last straw!” She says that Gramps has stooped really low in staying with those dirty bricklayers.

The Reyes bros. are sitting in a circle in their bedroom. Juan is remembering the laughter of the man who killed his parents. He sees the snake belt again. He also remembers the huge hacienda in which they all used to live. His mother would read to them and everyone was happy and comfortable. He remembers a swing that he would use to fly to heaven. He would also climb the highest trees to look out over Mexico and plan to conquer all the lands he could see when he grew up. He also mentions that his father carved “F.R.” in the tree.
Of course, all of this happened before NAFTA and the nuclear-waste plant which made the brothers crazy.

Ironically, and of course not planned, Sofia is hanging around the same tree that Juan used to climb. Fernie grabs Sofia and starts to kiss her. She says that he can only have her by force. “Rape me, rape me.” How can he resist? Well, the important thing is that he does. Sofia blames him for ruining her life. He leaves and she falls to the ground crying.

Oh goody. The bros. are visiting the Libia shrine in the scary cave. They brought her bread. Well I certainly hope she can chew that from six feet under. Friends, I know you all are smarter than the average Juan, but please don't try to feed your dead loved ones; they will only end up with indigestion from eating lying down. Juan admits that he is trying to forget about Sofia, but try as he might, he ends up loving Sofia more and more. Frankie and Oscar are praying to Libia, who has no ethereal powers anyway, that Sarita and Jimena have nothing to do with Libia’s death. These guys are idiots. Why don’t they consider praying to God, or other gods who have been internationally recognized as divine spirits for thousands of years? I’m telling you, this praying to barbed wire and handmade handicrafts is all a product of the nuclear-waste plants.

Gabby won’t let Eva leave the house. Here we go again. Another adult woman isn’t allowed to leave because Gabby said so. Eva- you’re bigger than Gabby. Take her down! Anyway, Eva admits that she suspects Rosie to be her daughter. Slightly amused, Gabby says that her daughter is probably some piece of trash that would embarrass her, and she would never receive forgiveness from God.

Sofia is sitting by what used to be Juan’s tree. She remembers all the times they kissed and the time they had sex. Which reminds me that a baby is in store. I will be mad and even more incredulous of this telenovela (if that’s even possible) if Sofia isn’t pregnant soon. Need I explain why she would be?

Fernie, as always, (I use this term a lot, but what do you want from a recapper who hears the same thing over and over again from this TN?) is mad that he isn’t getting any from Sofia. Gabby says that she’s aware that sex is all that men think about, and therefore tells him to find a lover. He, surprised, asks how and why. Gabby says to find one who won’t cause any problems. Why not use the recently constructed cabaña; it could be their little love shack.

Sofia and Juan lock eyes. Nothing happens. Then Gabby tells Sofia that she is going to let Fernie and Sofia run the hacienda together. However, if there is one error, Fernie gains back all the control.

Juan is having a hissy-fit out at the cabaña, and is throwing expensive merchandise against the brick foundation. He’s mad that Sofia doesn’t want to be with him. Juan’s brothers tell him that he’s pretty much crazy and that if he keeps on like he is, he is going to lose his own family. Juan starts to cry and hugs his brothers. “Women will never get between us.” Yeah right. So strange, so cliché, so overstated…

Fernie talks to Sofia when they are alone in the chapel. He is surprised that she and Juan have been together so often. Fernie says that he is going to go pray for her father and pray for her forgiveness because the only thing he has ever done in life is love Sofia.

Oscar and Jimena kiss and Oscar says that he is going to talk to the priest about marrying her today. They kiss, and even bite each other’s lips.
Frankie wants to talk to his “monjita” about getting married. She admits that she is going to marry, that is, marry Benito. “He’s an expert in love.” Frankie says that he asked her for forgiveness and that he has repented and recognized his errors. He starts to walk away and then asks her to stop bothering the people that actually love each other. That Frankie, what a player!

So the city slickers are discussing the plans for the new joy club. They are trying to figure out a way to attract clientele. Benito is more worried about the marriage proposal.

Gabby goes to the Uribe house wanting to talk to the future son-in-laws, but finds their aunt instead. Apparently they are long-time friends.

Accountant Sofia is reviewing the ledgers. Something just isn’t right… What can it be? Never mind that, she finds a picture of her dad and becomes emotional. She really needs him. “What would you tell me to do?” she asks her dad. “Wake up and smell the coffee” for starters.

Fernie is in the in-home chapel. He tells his ex-father-in-law that Bernie and Sofia are exactly the same: rebellious, stubborn, and stupid. Then Fernie remembers Bernie’s death. Fernie promises to be the boss and owner of the hacienda.

Sarita is writing a love letter to Frankie. She tries to hate him, but she just ends up loving him more. She recognizes that they will never be together.

Eva is waiting on Rosie. Rosie’s fake mother tells Eva to go away. Eva refuses and tells the fake mom that Eva is Rosie’s mother.

We then learn that Fernie keeps two books so that Sofia won’t notice anything. Poor Sofia, she obviously didn’t learn about the “two books theory” in Accounting 101. Fernie finds the same picture that Sofia was looking at, and discovers that it is attached to a letter from Bernie. Bernie says that he wrote the letter to Fernie because he knew that he was rotten and that Bernie had hidden various letters throughout the house to prove Fernie’s crimes. Bernie says that Fernie will never own the hacienda. Naturally, we won’t have the last convincing letter until the last week of the show when it will be used in a court of law to convict Fernie of raping Sofia.

We see Sofia at the Reyes’s bachelor pad. We hear what sounds like an owl. Nope, it’s just the English-speaking Quintina. Sofia came to see Juan. He’s not there and Sofia doesn’t want Quintina to tell Juan that she was there.

Gabby is talking to Benito’s aunt. She wants the Uribe boys to marry the Elizondo girls as soon as possible. The two women are in accordance.

Padre Tadeo doesn’t want Oscar to get married so fast. They talk about it and then Jimena walks in saying that they are to be married.
Sofia is in the church when Juan walks in. He prays next to her. Notice how they always show the two in front of a church facing God with Juan on the left and Sofia on the right. Now this is an obvious symbol of their wedding day, which won’t be realized until the last episode in October. A little early to start hinting at things, eh? Juan wants to know if Sofia forgot about him. She leaves him guessing.

Tomorrow: Gabby tells the girls that they will be marrying the Uribe boys as soon as possible. The Uribe boys’s aunt tells them that they will be marrying the Elizondo girls. Fernie gives Sofia some spiked tea and says that she will be his tonight. Eva tells Juan that Sofia is not well. What a good night for Melinama! I won’t be with you guys next week, so my dear friend Julie will be covering next Wednesday. Hasta luego.

Labels: Fuego