Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Guapos 06-03-08 "We're not even from West Virginia"

As our past 8 years of witty, clever saying that we will all some day buy on awesome magnets from ebay, runs down. kudos to Mr. Cheney, for his West Virginia comment. In case you missed it he was reciting his family tree, yes on the Cheney side we go back to the 1630's (dude you were late comers, I got two sides that beat that, can I invade someone?) then mentions that there are Cheney's on the other side, then follows it up with and we aren't even from West Virgina. Are these people just not the greatest compassionate leaders ever?

If previews hold true looks like The Good Padre of St. Deceptions is going to make his patron saint proud.

We open with a rekiss of Val & Rocky at the Rodeo.
Nestor is telling his brother the Good Padre how he is all hot and bothered over Luci, meanwhile his “She doesn’t understand me and our love is dead, wife in Europe” is so in the past.

Mili auctions off Brau, some truck driver guy is up to 10,000 pesos, wait now it is 15,000 and free beer for everyone, egads it is the bar owner. Brau is his to do with what he will for $15,000 or $1500 and a few beers. Now Mili gets up and sings, Brau is dancing with the Bar Guy.

Const is having a dramatic hissy cause Val is missing, he thinks she may be in the Rodeo. I so want Consti to go in search of his hija, throw a hissy and get severely bitch-slapped by crowds no make that hordes of gay guys. Meanwhile, Luci has the woe-is me cranked up to where dogs in Toluca are howling. Oh what if our daughter gets pregnant. It may be a sin to hate these people, but I firmly believe it would be a greater sin to not hate these people.

Padre & Nestor are having a bit of a sit down. Nestor wants to tell Al the truth and make Al’s and Luci’s lives of unicorns, pink ballons, rainbows and pitchers of never-ending whiskey sours beautiful in a magic land. Padre tells him Al is unhappy cause he is in love with Mili and Mili thinks Al & Mili are brother and sister. Al truly, deeply, madly loves Mili. Nestor says he needs to straighten this whole mess out. Padre tells Nestor that Consti thinks Al’s real dad is el deado. Poor French Bastard.

Back at the Rodeo, Brau & Bar guy leave for a romantic evening and he tells the kids to close up. When cleaning up, Val chips right in like a lil Naca trooper, she feels more alive as a worker, she is so happy and so in love with Rocky.

Nestor and Padre are walking up in front of the church, when Al appears. Nestor gives him that creepy stalker look. He tries to chat Al up who gets a bit of a creepy vibe. Then Nestor leaves. Padre goes to talk to Al.

The girls all are in the kitchen, laughing rather loudly. The lights flip on and there stands Consti. He starts yelling at Val then gives her a smack across the face. Mili steps up and he gives her a good hard smack also. He tells Gloria and Lina who are frozen watching this, to go to bed. He sends Val up to bed.

Mili flies up in his face and says who do you think you are? My father? He says, his mother wanted her to be part of the family and she is going to respect them. More verbal sparring and Mili says each thing with pointed feral teeth. She walks out on him. Poor Poor Consti is left to stand there and shake his big bucket head.
Mili…if I was you that would indeed be the last time that AssHat evah laid a hand on me.

Next Padre calls his brother and says they have to talk about Al.

The next morning Gloria, Lina & Soccorita are having breakfast, Brau comes in all fluttery. He is happy with life. Mili comes in and says she has to go to some futbol thing. She is dressed nice.

Someone’s at the door, why it is Nestor. Brau is all like what a beautiful day, the sun is shining and so on. Nestor asks for Luci, Brau sends him into the study. Luci comes down, tells him he has an idiotic smile on his face, but she can’t dampen his good day.
---I guess Brau just feels happy cause now he can be who he is---


Anyway Mili is walking down the street and Padre runs up behind her. Change of plans, no futbol. Say though I have a really big surprise, look it is a gigantic stretch limo. You trust me don’t you, come on. Next thing you know, Padre is giving Mili a glass of champagne and forcing her to drink it really fast.
----Is it wrong for me to think that somewhere on adult pay for view, there is a movie like this?---
Now Al slides back the partition and says Hola to Mili, she passes out face first on a pillow.
----It has been a while since I have been to Mass, but is this something I missed? Roofies and liquor.

Meanwhile Num and Nutz (Hugo and Matt the Ratt) stand at the soccer field holding huge bouquets of roses. Hmmmmm where is Al?

Now done with berating the servant Luci glides in on her broom. Oh Nestor, baby. Why didn’t you call first. She is giving him a through oral exam. Say this is no time for sex, I’m here to talk about Al. I want him to know the truth, to be with the girl he loves. Never she spits back, not with that dirty servant. Nestor having lived many years in liberal Europe, sees nothing wrong with Al actually getting to be with the woman he loves. Luci rants, she raves, she starts pouring down glasses of whiskey. Luci is indeed one class act. Nestor won’t take no for an answer.

Flor and her father are having a conversation about Al. I don’t really know what it was about, other than Pa is like ditch the loser. Flor of course is obsessed and will hear nothing of it.

Mili wakes up on a beach with of all things a wienie dog, the dog look vaguely familiar, hey isn’t that the bunny that was on Fuego, oh yeah only now he is in a dog suit. Now there is where the real talent at TelVista lies.

Not that I am trying to kick sand on a really cliché romantic moment between siblings (hey she thinks they are related), but isn’t the whole beach thing overdone? And as we faithful viewers are aware those romantic moments are gone faster than the rash gotten from grinding on the beach. Bad things happen after these get aways, lest we forgot Rod promising to buy the isle of love for Gavi, only to come home and find out that cup of sperm he left laying around had impregnated his wife? Well not really, the neighbor had impregnated his wife, but they milked that one for months. And what about that gawd awful TeleNovela “Amor Sin Limites”, the painful beach shack, love shack scenario.

Anyhow Al walks up with a couple of sissy umbrella drinks, does he intend to drink and drug her and have his way with her, all with the blessings of St. Deception? No of course not, Al dancing around the punches Mili is throwing explains that he did this with the help of Padre Manuel. Mili looks stunned at this. Yeah me too. You can see Mili is rapidly recounting all three passages of scripture she learned during her eighteen year stint at St. Deceptions, thou shalt not kill, thou shall not steal, thou shall not lay down with the son of your father. Hmmmm was there a revision to that? Was I playing futbol when that was covered? Mili of course is a bit sketchy on how she arrived at the beach of love. Also there is not another soul for literally kilometers. Al tells her that the took the helicopter of love. Mili is wicked pissed that she missed her first helicopter ride. They are staying at Don Nestor’s abode, it is mucho private. He explains Nestor is the friend of Pa & Padre. Not to mention a very special friend of Luci.

Meanwhile back in Mx DF, word is out that Mili and Al are vamanosed, or gone. Flor is obsessively chewing her own lips off, while saying he isn’t at home, he doesn’t answer his cell. Her sister is like move on…get over it. No Flor screams he is with her. Her sister just seems happy that she won’t have to swap saliva with Bobby another, as a cover for watching over her manic sister. Her sister says to call Luci, but Flor doesn’t want to. Finally it comes down to getting a tazer and knocking her out OR…..and sister picks up the phone dials a number and holds the phone out to Flor. (Sorry my husband chose that moment to say something not even vaguely amusing and I missed who the call was to, or maybe they didn’t even say..maybe it is a call to Murder.Inc and they are going to put a hit on Al. Don’t be so quick little missy, I’m not really sure which would be worse, being married to you or dead…wait not so fast, this is a tough one.)

Now over at the Mansion of Bastardy, Padre is meeting with Brau, who is probably thinking, oh my gawd he knows, I know he knows, I can tell he is giving me “Thou art a sinner eye”. But know, Padre is not there to discuss the gay night out. He tells Brau that Mili is safe, Brau guesses that she is with Al. Padre chastises Brau for letting her think that Al & Mili are hermanos, rather than two random Bastards passing in the night. Never, Never does Brau want NO-NAME Al to marry Mili, cause her bastardy is better than that. For the love of Gawd, you would think these people had blood lines back to Isabella and Ferinand. Padre says that he is giving them time to find out the truth.

Now see I am totally squeeked by this cause in the event that Mili did give in…yuck, plus it would always be yuck cause even when you found out he wasn’t really your brother, you did your brother, or at least you thought he was your brother. Granted I am rather a buffet Catholic, I pick and choose, make my own plate, but I am totally sure this isn’t okay. Besides how come no priest ever hooked me up with some trip to the beach? Huh all I ever got was Hail Mary’s & Our Father’s. How come no rich old lady ever adopted me and die within a short period of time and left me all her money, huh? How come I wasn’t the Bastard love child of some rich guy…Oh sorry I forgot this isn’t about me.

Now Nestor is talking to some uber hawt guy who tells him that the kids got safety to the beach. Now Nestor is going to go see them.

By the By Al & Mili are eating and Al says he has a letter for her from Padre, Mili asks to see it and Al does one of those uber annoying hold it out and pull it back. Finally she takes it and goes to read it while sitting on the beach with Mr. Bunny posing as Mr. Wienie Dog. It is a letter about it is time for the truth to come out. Mili thinks he means she has to confess their siblingtude, but ding now I get it, Nestor is supposed to show up and shed some light on this tangled family tree.

Now then standing in the lobby of his hotel, ready to make up for every wrong he ever did, Nestor is about to go and find his son and make the world a better play.

Caw-Caw, well quote the raven nevermore, here come Luci, totally drunk, screaming and making a scene, she won’t let him ruin her son’s life. No he only wants to help Al and Luci. He will take care of both of them. No it is too late, my liver is on it’s last cirrhoses free cells. Hmm lil darling, you must let your son be happy. No not with her. Nestor continues, “Remember, when we met?” “Even though you were drunk off your ass and I mistook you for a French Whore, that night was magical, I’ve never forgotten it, you only remember the puke sick hangover, but trust me it was awesome.” We can make up for lost time, we have our whole lives ahead of us. They end up in Nestor’s room.

---Dude, I’m yelling at the TV…Stop help your son, but no, lil Nestor is in control, Luci is drinking and peeling off her lovely matching pantsuit as Nestor is already to play Pierre the French sailor and Marie the working girl---Oh what a freakin AssHat, he has succumbed to Luci sloshy seduction. This guy is a total loser. Please, what is the problem with every man of every age on this show, not being able to say. Like he couldn’t take two hours out of his life go save his son’s life, 200 pesos would have gotten him a cheap woman and a cheap bottle of booze, both of which had only been aged half as long. But No….

Back at the beach Mili tells Al she has to talk to him, and don’t interrupt, nah Al doesn’t want to listen, he wants to romp on the beach and frolic in cameo appearance. My husband thinks I’m crazy cause I’m saying no..not wave frolicking, but we all know that leads to wet clinging clothes leading to unhermanos thoughts, but damn there they go, romping now she is on his back….
I say if this leads to years of therapy…sue the church.

The end……………….

Tomorrow Luci is going through Nestors things and finds out where Al is, as Nestor sleeps with that doofy sated look on his face…Stellar attempt at DadHood.

Mili while soaked to the skin is showing Al the necklace of incest with dual-Pa initials..Al looks sick.

Padre Manual gets a call from Rome, thankfully my closed captions are able to translate Latin, “What the Hell are you thinking?”

Oh yeah and a shout out to Barack O’bama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels:


Comments:
Nice Job with the recapping, beckster.

I am up at this early morning hour of 1:30 am after experiencing Heartburn. I finally find some Pepto Besimol and see if it will take effect soon. I was just sitting in the dark waiting when I thought of tonight's episode of Al Diablo con los guapos.

I hated Consti tonight after slapping Valerie and Miligol. He is a big guy. He could really harm the girls. He surpassed the Rat meter of 10 to 15.

I was hoping that this would be the time that Mili tells him that she knows that he is her father. I was hoping that she hits him back and kicks him where it hurts. I know that Mili can be able to do that. I was disappointed that she didn't.
However, I was proud that she stood up to Consti after he slapped her. She was not scared of him.

I was relieve and happy that we viewed some comedy relief after the argument scene with Consit when we saw Brau being happy the morning after his big night out on a date and coming out. I just like it that only Lina and Gloria knew while Karla and Luci were clueless.
I just want to add that I really don't like Karla. She is a no good person. I feel sorry for her mother - Soccorro.

The thing that I wanted to say was . . . .
What is wrong with loving and marrying a servant? Consti should think about his own past when he himself loved Rosio. He says he did. Maybe it was close to love he ever came too. I think he doesn't really know real love. Even Luci loved someone that wasn't appropriate according to her father. Both Consti and Luci's parents forced them to marry each other and see how pathetic their marriage is. Both of them had affairs and continue to have affairs. Luci says she is living in hell - her own words.

They are repeating history by forcing their children to marry someone they don't really love.

Al will not be really happy with Flor. We know that he is crazy in love with Mili. Al will be really be angry at his mother after finding out what she did.
Consti - he just needs to be shot. I don't see how he can redeemed himself. He belongs in hell.

We will see what happens tomorrow. Mili tells Al that Constis is her father and he is her brother. Nestor didn't make because Luci delayed him with night of sex.
 

Way to go Beckster...so glad you were able to work in Cheney and Obama seamlessly into your hilarious recap.

Have to admit I'm a shameless sucker for those frolic in the waves- wet clothes cameos. Well, okay, didn't like it as much when it was Leti and Aldo but Alejandro's gymnastic build is a treat. Always ready for more of that.

Loved your "buffet Catholic" remark
and hey, thanks for noticing that Nestor's assistant was uber hawt..perhaps we'll see more of him...scene-wise I mean.
 

Connie has moved way up the rat meter: He looked like he was going 10 rounds with Mike Tyson

Also disturbing: priest-dispensed roofies! I wouldn't want to eat at the buffet of that church.

Also queasy making is Mili's frolicking in the surf with Alex, putting off the inevitable bad news. But why doesn't she figure out that Padre Manuel wouldn't send her in a stretch limo to a romantic spot to reveal that her boyfriend is her brother?

Well, I'm still along for the ride, as I like Mili and I still like the show overall. Guapos has it all over Fuego for novelty and speed!

I enjoyed the beach scenes for another reason: They reminded me of my long-ago trip to the Las Brisas Hotel Ixtapa

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g150790-d152934-Reviews-Las_Brisas_Resort_Ixtapa-Ixtapa_Ixtapa_Zihuatanejo_Pacific_Coast.html

(which was then called something else). It's a beautiful cliffside hotel with a secluded beach. We spent an idyllic week there in 1990. Ahh. I doubt they filmed there, though--more likely Acapulco?
 

Why don't you just stick to the recaps! Lets leave the political shoutouts OUT! I just want to enjoy the recaps!
 

Well Anon and you are indeed Anonymous 10:13:00; well as I see we all have choices in life, yours is A) don't read it the recap, B)tape it and sit down with a dictionary C) join the recap team and recap it yourself.

Don't mean to inflame the situation, but hey after all you are anonymous.

Don't shoot the messenger, I did not alter Cheney's comment, check it out on You-Tube. Now then the O'Bama comment, well I would give a shout out to anyone who breaks down the status quo, I would have done the same for Hillary had she won, I would gladly do a shout-out for the Republican side if they ever broke the mold. Sorry shout out to Ron Paul...
 

Beckster: Thanks for another hilarious recap.

Like the others, I thought that Consti crossed the line when he slapped Val and Mili. And, yes, good for Mili hitting him back with words. But, then, she is committed to making his life a misery.

Also - Padre Manuel slipping Mili a Mickie? That's got to be real bad in Mexico.

Amar Sin Limites definitely came to mind with the kidnapping to the beach scene. Looked like fun.

From lower Ala
 

Beckster, i didnt mean to upset you, I will continue to read the recaps whenever I miss an epsiode and no thanks I do not want to join in writing the recaps and I do not need a dictionary as I am fluent in spanish. Stick to the recaps you do a great job!
 

Oh and I do watch the news and I DID NOT accuse you of altering anything muchless Cheney's comment.
 

Well, well, well, looks like Al finally took Diego Moran's Advanced Course in kidnapping. Next time, maybe he'll fly them on a private jet complete with spa straight to the Vatican where the Pope himself will be waiting to marry them.

Okay, SO MANY people know that Consti isn't Al's dad...one of them has got to tell Mili and put them out of their misery soon, right? Right? This is getting painful. Still really entertaining, though. I like all the twists and turns.

Thanks for the funny recap, beckster.
 

Beckster, never mind about that job promotion you are shooting for. You should just print out one of your recaps and send it to Letterman and you’d be on a new career path! This recap was a hoot start to finish!

I’m with the rest of you on the slapping the daughters thing. And I thought Mili was taking a big chance of getting smacked again she got up into his face, right within striking distance.

I’m amazed that Nestor feels Luci is the love of his life when according to her earlier than exactly one night together in Paris.

Oh, and thanks for the new vocab, namely roofies!
 

I too am offended! Every West Virginian I've met has assured me it's the other Virginia that has the branchless family trees!!! Ok seriously, I'll have to keep in mind which days you recap Beckster as I almost left a puddle on my seat because I was laughing so hard ;)

I loved hearing "Cuando te Veo" (When I look at You) during this epi. Here's a link if you want to hear it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qbk-EJ30v4o&NR=1 I couldn't find one that didn't have the little inserts of Eugenio and Alison singing along to the video, but it's still nice to watch.

Why oh why did the PM feel the need to be so cryptic in that letter? Why couldn't he write: "I know that you think loving Al is a sin, but as your spiritual guide I can assure you it ain't so. Nestor will explain later, just don't do anything I wouldn't do..." or something to that effect. I guess that would pose a problem when we still have a good four months to go. Can't say it was terribly appropriate of PM to slip drugs to his charge, but given the fact they almost crashed the last time Al kidnapped her, can't say I completely blame them. I suspect they came from Nestor's private stash and Al and PM couldn't have found a better accomplice in planning this. Alas, it looks like Luci will throw a monkey wrench in the whole thing and will insure the unholy Belmonte/Echevarria alliance comes to pass.

Kudos to Mili for giving Conie the old "you can't hit me, you're not my dad" knowing it would hurt. The slap took her off guard, else she would have kneed him first! Pity her explanation to Conie that his kids don't have to be miserable by marrying for money like he did is falling on such deaf ears. Can't wait 'till it all comes back to bite him in the a$$.

By the by Beckster, Marisela's call was to Casa Belmonte to see if Mili was still around. Braulio answered and told Flo that Mili was out of town and they didn't know when she was coming back. Don't you just hate it when boys interrupt? Hubby once chose the middle of a Luci/Conie verbal spar to measure the TV for it's replacement (it has a horrible dark streak through the middle of the screen and does need replacing but couldn't he have found another time for this!!!). Also, Nestor doesn't know that Mili's Conie's kid, just that his bro Mani assures him that if he tells Al and Mili he's Al's dad, they will be able to get back together and live happily ever after.
 

Oh, and one more thing, Val made a priceless comment while she was moping the floor at the Rodeo. She called it occupational therapy and said she'd suggest it to Luci so she wouldn't be so upset all the time. Ever wonder if Luci might be happy and quit drinking if she actually took the time to do an honest day's work? Idle hands...
 

You are so, so funny Beckster. Thanks!

I was so frustrated with the cryptic letter from Padre Manuel. And why didn't Nestor arrange to be there BEFORE Al & Mili, reveal the big secret, and then take off after making an appointment for father-son bonding later. Luciana just gets more and more odious.

I know it sounds really superficial, but surely they can find someone a little hotter for Braulio than the big burly guy or the bar owner. Neither of those types seem right for him, he's so neat and proper.

And at the almost certain risk of stirring the pot, I really find anonymous snarks and criticism disrespectful and ungrateful to the recappers who provide this wonderful free gift to us readers. Just as I should ignore those snarks, as I have before, readers can ignore or skip over things in the recap that offend them.
 

Rhonda, so funny what you say about Braulio. I thought something similar, but he seemed to be really happy with those swains. Maybe he's a chubby chaser. (Pardon my politically incorrect term.)
 

Great recap! I think I loved it more than the actual episode :)

Was anyone else blocking their ears during Mili's horrendous rendition of Selena's "Amor prohibido"? It was truly terrible.

I have had a major thing for Cesar Evora since I saw him in Privilegio de amar back in the mid 90's (he played a priest, but I still found him really attractive. I think it's the deep voice that does if for me). Anyway, I'm not sure I can look at him the same way after that scene last night. It was awful, and I really expected him to hurt Mili again when she "got all up in his face" as my students would say.

Looking forward to tonight's melodrama!
 

I certainly agree with Rhonda from St. Louis...if you don't like a comment in a recap just ignore it. These recaps and the recappers are great!! really a gift that make the already entertaining telenovellas so much better. I loved this recap for its wonderful humor. I can skip the politics when necessary. It is all up to me and today I chose to enjoy a good laugh!
Trudi from California
 

Linda, I also felt "Amor Prohibido" sounded terrible in that key. I normally like Mili's singing, so I'm blaming it on the key, and maybe the tempo. She seemed to be barreling through this one. Oh, and yes, Cesar Evora has a gorgeous speaking voice. I think that's part of what makes this character remain somewhat charming in spite of being such a despicable A$$hat!

Rhonda, there's nothing wrong with feeling they could get Braulio someone cuter. I didn't get the impression he liked the bear guy, but he did seem to like little short Pedro and even called him his "chaparrito" (shorty). It's hard to say whether it's his lack of experience (the boy has barely left the house for anything besides beauty products) giving him lower standards, but I've always been pretty sure he had a thing for Hugo, so he may upgrade before you know it...
 

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