Caray, Caray!

Original title: "The forces of heaven and hell fight over who gets to live in Glory, Val stages a hunger strike and Luci learns the importance of checking your day planner..." ----I ran out of room on the title section.

I had to run off to get fitted for a crown. I'll finish the last few minutes in the comments in a couple of hours. Have you guys noticed they’ve changed the credits to include Mili in the woods, Luci with Nestor, and Al with crazy Flo? I’d been fast-forwarding through the credits and just noticed the changes. In case I screw up the tags, again, feel free to work the appropriate voodoo to make this available through the link for Guapos.

When we last left our heroes, Andrea worries Connie found out the scoop about the embezzling, but he comes up behind her and she figures he can’t be that mad at her if he wants to make out. Luci walks in on them and says, “don’t mind me, I just need Andrea fired, go back to what you were doing.” Andrea asks Connie to say something.

Mat the Rat tries to convince Mili he was never after her money and it was all grandpa’s scheme. Mili makes him sweat a little, but ends up caving ‘cause she hasn’t quite perfected her family gift for telling and spotting lies. He offers to give up as her rep, but she says no way! Having said that, she makes it clear they can be nothing more than friends. He says it’s for now and she clarifies it’s for now, and for later, and for the duration, they are to be friends and nothing more... He agrees and they go off to add Hugo to this menage-a-que?

Connie reminds Luci she has no voice or vote in the business and therefore has no right to tell him who can work there. She asks why he told her to come then, and he says he wanted to address some family business. If Andrea’s presence bugs her though, she’s free to leave. Oh snap! He goes to the boardroom and Andrea gives Luci a smug smile. Luci warns her not celebrate just yet ‘cause Connie’s going to kick her to the curb once he tires of her. He’s the kind of guy who only likes new things and disdains what’s used. Andrea replies it’s not things that are used, just things that are old. She says Connie dreams of making her his wife (honey, not even you buy that one) and Luci laughs and says she’ll never have enough class to be Connie’s wife. Andrea replies that Luci has a surplus of years. I think Andrea took the point in this match set, but just barely.

Gloria walks over to the church as Angel works on the pews. She tells him he’s quite talented as he’s fixing up the whole convent. She hands him a “torta” (sandwich/hoagie, etc) from Sor Cachete and he sweetly offers her half. She tells him she had a big breakfast, but she’ll keep him company. He asks what she does and she tells him she’s a maid and a gardener, but what she’d really like is to be a wife and mother. He tells her he’d like to be married too someday. Gloria says aloud he’d also want to save up for ten years for this and he impresses her by saying if he had a girlfriend, he’d get married tomorrow.

Back at the Belmonte board meeting, Hugo informs Connie that Mili will sit this one out since she’s got Mat to handle things for her. Connie announces someone’s been embezzling money and Damian foolishly suggests the guilty party should go to jail (way to dig your own grave Asshat!) to which Connie agrees, but wanted to make sure all were in favor. Mat asks when they’ll get the audit results and Connie says the accountant will be right in with them. Damian is outraged and can’t believe there are thieves in the company! Connie smiles and asks, “you mean besides yourself?” Damian’s not amused. Alonso the accountant walks in and announces that it was indeed an embezzlement by someone who transferred money from the company to a personal account. Damian insists on a name and is informed the guilty party is none other than himself. He’s impactado and finally realizes he’s been set up.

Angel asks Gloria if he can say something without her getting upset. He tells her she looks beautiful today, and that her dress looks great on her. He has to get back to work so the benches are ready for 2:00 PM mass. Gloria offers to help ‘cause she now has the morning off (hmmm, did she just decide that part?) Sor Cachete comes in to tell them she picked tonight’s movie. Since Gloria said friends go to the movies as a group, Sor Cachete will be joining them tonight... Gotta love a scheming nun ;) She tells them she wants popcorn...and chocolates.

Luci asks Damian how he could do this and he replies he’d never take money without Connie’s consent (tonight’s theme is say things that wouldn’t be true in a million years). Connie comes in announcing the cops are coming and so is a judge ‘cause he pulled some strings. He asks Mat to handle the legal side and advises Damian to get himself a good lawyer. Damian asks Hugo for help and he says he hopes this has nothing to do with the money they transferred from the Cayman’s to Switzerland. Both Connie and Damian try to backpedal fast on this one. Luci wants to know the skinny on this account and Connie says it was supposed to be a surprise... He advises Damian to repent and tell him if the money he moved to Hugo’s account was also “theirs.”

At Casa Belmonte, Karla follows Val around and actually mirrors every single move she makes. Val’s fed up and warns her that she’ll pay for this one. Lina walks in and tells Val the kitchen sink is stopped up and Val tells her to call the plumber. In an example of excellent service, there is a knock at the door and Lina opens it to reveal Rocky saying: “The plumber has arrived!” Karla asks how he got there so fast and he responds it’s “service waters.” I don’t think it’s supposed to make sense. He asks Karla if she’s the owner and when she starts to say no he turns to Val and asks her to lead him to the faulty pipes.

Back at the garden Chamuco is glad Gloria’s no longer angry with him and she tells him to just stop making up things that haven’t happened. She asks him if she looks good and he says off course! They have a long argument about how he should always tell her if she looks good. He asks if he should also tell her when she looks bad ‘cause sometimes the outfits don’t work. Gloria says he should be honest about such things. Scratch that, she should always look good to him, otherwise maybe they should just break up. She runs off crying while a shell-shocked Chamuco laments his honesty.

The cops also traveled through service waters and have handcuffed Damian. The judge goes through Damian’s pockets and asks if the checkbook he just pulled from Damian’s pocket is his. He says of course and instantly regrets it when the judge finds a deposit slip for a whole bunch of money. Damian’s now convinced that Connie’s behind it all. Connie warns him he’ll make sure he goes to jail for 20 years. The cops exit with Damian and Connie then musses to himself that he’s gonna miss him.

Rocky’s under the sink with a monkey wrench but is immediately distracted by Val’s legs. Karla brings him back to reality and he starts spewing a bunch of nonsense with the occasional plumbing term to throw Karla. He then tells Karla she needs to hold the wrench for him lest the place gets flooded. He’s leaving with Val to look at the storm drains and they advice Karla not to move or they’ll need a “lancha” (barge) to leave the house. They run out laughing.

Over at Hugo’s office Mili asks if his dad is really going to jail. Hugo tells him Damian asked for it and hopes some time in the slammer will straighten him out. Mili warns it could be worse as many people just pick up tricks in prison. Hugo wants to change the subject to what happened with Mat. She doesn’t want to go into it but says they had a fight and he wanted to quit, but she won’t let him. “Much like you won’t let me quit being your boyfriend” says Hugo. Mili says nobody quits on her and he replies he’ll be the first ‘cause it’s obvious she and Al are in love and he wants to help and she won’t let her, blah, blah, blah...”he’s my brother” interjects Mili. Hugo blabs some more before it hits him and he’s impactado. He runs over to console her and calls her his “niña” (little girl). She begs him not to leave her and he says he never will. He asks if she’s sure and she tells him a brief recap of her mom and Connie’s romance (with a brief interruption to clarify Connie didn’t rape her mom. It’s a sad reflection on Connie that this is the first thought that would cross his nephew’s mind). Hugo realizes she’s the grandkid Regina had been looking for.

Val and Rocky are making out and she asks him to remove the beard ‘cause it’s itchy. He says he can’t ‘cause he used a ton of glue and fears his whole face will come off when he finally removes it. She’s worried about Karla and he tells her she deserves it for being a metiche. He wants to spend as much time with Val as possible ‘cause he doesn’t know when they’ll get another chance to see each other. She assures him that Connie will get over his anger ‘cause she’s his treasure and he won’t keep her locked up forever. I wonder if it’s always pink and sunny in her fantasy world... Rocky suggests Connie do some aerobics to work out his rage ‘cause he thinks it will be a while before he’s over it and doubts he’ll ever accept Rocky as the man for Val. She tells them they must run away then. Somewhere nice and far where he’ll never find them. Rocky’s worried that he has nothing to offer her. He promises he’ll raise some funds so they can run away but Val’s not sure she can wait. He doesn’t want her to starve and she says that’s fine (ah, foreshadowing). They have to do this now or never.

Mili now cries that it isn’t fair that she doesn’t love Hugo the way he loves her. They go over a lengthy metaphor about how her heart is like a broken leg that can’t walk, but he’ll fit it with a cast and help her walk again. He then asks if Al knows and she says he does, but Hugo has to swear her won’t tell anyone else (‘cause there’s still a person or two in China that don’t know about this) including his dad. Hugo promises to keep her secret. She laments how unfair it is that it was her brother she... Hugo finishes saying it was her brother than she fell in love with. He tells her he’s very patient and will make sure she forgets about Al – well, not completely forget him, but at least she’ll be able to love him the way she’s supposed to love him (like a brother). He says he now has hope that maybe one day she will fall in love with him.

Karla screams for the plumber as Connie comes in and asks WTF is going on? Karla says she can’t leave ‘cause the plumber warned her if she let go of the wrench the house would flood. He asks where Val went and she tells him Val went with the plumber to find the “pluvial” (rain gutter). Connie calls her an idiot and she’s quite offended. He asks where they went and she points dejectedly. She decides the place can flood for all she cares. She lets go of the wrench and screams “Idiot!” when nothing happens. Connie walks in on Val and Rocky kissing and Rocky tries to calm his “suegro” (father in law) and Connie responds by ripping off his beard in one quick and painful tear.

Gloria arrives in her room and Lina asks why she’s so sad. Gloria tells her she broke up with Chamuco. Lina doesn’t get it ‘cause Gloria loves Chamuco and he’s crazy about Gloria. Gloria replies he’s no longer romantic and it’s the 10-year courtship that’s bugging her. Lina tells her time flies, but Gloria emphasizes that it’s 10 YEARS not just months. Lina agrees it’s a long time. Gloria also complains she never sees him ‘cause he’s got three jobs and is always working. Lina reminds her Chamuco has a great sense of humor and this reminds Gloria that he never seems to take things seriously. To him even dating is a joke. She then fesses up to meeting someone new and going to the movies with him tonight.

Connie has Rocky by the scruff and says he’ll kill him. He tells him he’s got good news and bad news. The good news is that he’s going to kick him out. The bad news is that he might as well forget Val ‘cause he’s shipping her out of the country. Rocky says he’ll have to go through him and Connie accepts the invitation and starts punching and kicking him. Val screams at Connie that she hates him.

Hugo comes into Al’s room. Al asks about Damian’s arrest and Hugo says dad asked for it and Connie said he was just going to teach him a lesson but was going to get him out as well. Al warns him not to trust Connie and suggests that Hugo help Damian himself. Hugo says he won’t because he’s still hurt his dad used him for some shady business deals. He wants Al to know that he’s aware of the fact he and Mili are “hermanos.” He promises Al that he’ll take care of Mili and will do everything in his power to make her happy.

Over at the kitchen Socorro asks Chamuco why he’s not telling any jokes. He asks if she knows where Gloria is and she assumes it’s a riddle. He then tells her that he and Gloria had a fight and he wants to talk to her and straighten things out. Lina walks in and Chamuco asks if she knows where Gloria went. She too asks if it’s a riddle. He says he just wants to find her. Lina points out that it’s an easy mistake considering he’s always telling jokes. She asks why Gloria’s mad at him and he says it’s ‘cause he was stupid, but he really loves Gloria. Lina warns him to work fast ‘cause Gloria has another galán that she went to the movies with. If he snoozes he’ll loose.

Back at the vulcanizadora, Horacio wonders why Chamuco never showed up. He and Pepe have some misheard words, including Pepe thinking Horacio was insulting his grandmother. Rocky arrives looking like... well, the other Rocky. Horacio asks how his visit went and he tells them Connie found him and broke his face. Horacio consoles him telling him Connie didn’t break his face, just disfigured it on one side. Rocky says Connie can hit him all he wants, but he better not hurt his Val. This is war.

Connie tells Val to save the tears ‘cause he won’t be moved. She tells him he’s an evil monster and he replies he’s only looking out for her. He wants to know why she’s no longer interested in modeling and she says all she wants is to marry Morgan. Connie can’t believe she’s still not over the guy. He reminds her she’s going to one of the most prestigious modeling schools in the world. She says she won’t go. He can’t understand how she could fall in love with a chauffer and she reminds him that he fell in love with a maid and left her a half sibling they don’t even know how to find. They are the same, but the difference is she won’t betray her love like he did. (You go girl!). Connie informs her she’s leaving Mexico, case closed. He exits and she thought-bubbles that nobody’s dragging her away.

Over at the movie theater Sor Cachete is singing the praises of the movie they are about to see which features some great kissing! Gloria asks if she’s seen it and our nun says she read the reviews. Angel mentions that as a child he always dreamed of a movie romance. Sor Cachete informs them that the Chamuco (actually “the devil”, not just the nickname) has landed. Chamuco asks Gloria if that’s why she dumped him? To go out with this guy? Angel tells Chamuco to knock it off and Chamuco tells him to stay out of it, since he doesn’t even know him. Introductions are made and Angel says “since you’re the Chamuco (the devil), I’m sending you straight to hell.” Chamuco: “you and what army you cardboard angel?” They start to scuffle and Sor Cachete gets in between advising them Chamuco’s not the devil, Angel’s not a cardboard angel, and this is not a pastorela ("Pastourelle," an often humorous morality play usually featuring a knight and a shepherdess. In Mexico they tend to stage them for Christmas). She tells them to calm down and Chamuco says he can’t when they’re trying to steal his future wife. Gloria starts to telling him off and then ra ecord screech tells us she’s realized what he’s called her. She asks if they’re no longer going to wait 10 years, and he says no, ‘cause he doesn’t want to lose her. Sor Cachete consoles Angel telling him they at least got to see their movie kiss. Gloria asks when they’re getting married and Chamuco replies: “how about in five years?” Gloria makes a sad face, but figures it’s a start... Chamuco tells her time will fly by.

It’s a few days later and Socorro is telling Karla she warned her that Damian was a “delinquente” (criminal). Karla says he isn’t (how soon we forget about the kidnapping, the blackmailing, etc.) and says that Damian was set up. Soco says Damian’s a mafioso and Karla says mom doesn’t like him ‘cause he loves her. Soco clarifies if he loved her, he would have married her by now. More arguing on the subject until Luci walks in. Karla begs Luci to help Damian. Luci tells her to stop playing the suffering wife ‘cause it ain’t ever gonna happen. Karla says “then help him ‘cause he’s your brother!” Luci says Damian dug his own grave (literally, “se echó la soga al cuello” – he threw the noose on his neck). Karla cries and Luci tells her to knock it off and help her finish planning her son’s wedding.

Over at the prison, Andrea thanks Damian for not squealing on her. He tells her not to thank him, but let him out!! Why hadn’t she come sooner? She tells him that she wanted to make sure she had info to give him and it looks like he’s going away for a while. He asks her to at least pay his bail and she says the judge said no bail, thanks to Connie’s influence. That and there is a ton of proof against him – an account in his name with all the missing money, a deposit slip, etc. He tells her she’s gotta help him or he’s taking her down with him. She reminds him he has no proof she was in on it. She never signed anything and never even saw a dime. Still, she’s going to talk to Connie and see if she can get him to drop the charges. Damian thanks her ‘cause he wasn’t meant for prison. Is he afraid he’s too pretty? Isn’t it sad that the only people that have any desire to help him are the skank he’s perpetually blackmailing and the skank he keeps deceiving? Perhaps he should rethink the way he treats people....

Labels: guapos

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