Caray, Caray!

First of all, ever since Mili and Hugo got married last week, I can't quit thinking about the non-branching Belmonte Family tree, especially as it applies to Mili. Mili is now Alejandro's aunt by adoption and cousin by marriage; she's Luciana's sister-in-law by adoption, stepdaughter through Constancio, and niece by marriage to Hugo; Constancio is her dad, her stepbrother, and her uncle. I could go on, but it's just too weird!

Speaking of weird, tonight's episode starts with a reprise of Alejandro singing "Hoy Tengo Ganas de Ti" over a bizarre sequence of flashback scenes and voiceovers (that often don't match the scene): Alejandro asking about Mili being able to leave the house; Mili deciding to give up her inheritance; Constancio staging his breakup with Andrea; Andrea sneaking into the house to mack on Consancio and the two of them getting busted by Luciana; Alejandro begging Mili not to leave the house; Mili and Hugo's wedding; Rocky and Valeria getting back together; Luciana getting stinking drunk and spilling the beans at the wedding reception; Mili and Alejandro making out on the bleachers at the soccer field; and getting busted by Padre Manuel; and getting lectured by Padre Manuel to go back to their respective spouses; Mili going back to Hugo; Alejandro lamenting that he won't be her "first"; Hugo promising to wait until Mili is ready; Florencia being jealous; Andrea and Luci having a catfight; Constancio threatening Domingo; Domingo's funeral; Marisela saying the police suspect sabotage; Damian wondering if Constancio had something to do with Domingo's death….

And finally, Alejandro alleging that Constancio had something to do with Domingo's death. Constancio gets offended and goes upstairs. Alejandro asks what Damian thinks. Damian thinks it's a shame. Alejandro gets the idea that he and Damian both suspect Constancio, though Damian won't say it.

Horacio turns on the light in their bedroom and confronts Socorro about her alleged affair. Well, no, he doesn't confront her, he just acts like it's true. Poor Socorro doesn't know what the heck is up. Horacio tells her he's going to go sleep with Rocky. No, not like that. Valeria's got that covered.

Mili and Braulio run into each other at the refrigerator, getting milk. Braulio's got his avocado face mask on. Mili whines about the funeral and Braulio says "I told you so!" Braulio tells her she's as considerate as her mom. Braulio mentions that Alejandro's sleeping on the couch and he doesn't know what to do, wake him up or…? Mili says she'll take care of it. There's a cute moment when she goes to kiss him on the cheek, but he pushes her away because of the avocado. Braulio pours himself a glass of water and then goes back to his room.

He has a moment with his dummy and his monkey. And I mean the actual dummy and the stuffed monkey, not Damian, aka Chicken Pimp, who just walked in. The two of them would make a cute couple if Damian were less self-interested. Damian wants Karla to find him and Braulio together. Braulio begs him to keep his robe on. Damian is desperate to get rid of Karla and climbs into Braulio's bed. The two of them raise eyebrows at each other. Braulio resists getting into bed with Damian and instead suggests that Karla should find Damian coming out of the bathroom. Braulio is worried about his reputation if Karla finds them together.

Karla, as expected, goes looking for her Chicken Pimp and doesn't find him in his room.

Mili gets busted by Alejandro touching his face. He grabs her roughly and they breathe into each other's faces as we go to commercial.

She breaks away and they have a moment up against the wall. She tries to deny that she wanted to touch him as Karla watches. Mili says she was just going to wake him up so he could go get in bed. Alejandro turns that into something it wasn't meant to be. He keeps up with his jealous, lovesick ranting. Mili gives him a good slap and says she won't be his lover. She accuses him of having no shame, coming on to her while his pregnant wife is mourning her dead father. Well, when you put it that way….

Rocky's been doing some redecorating in his room. His wall is plastered with pictures of Valeria--who I actually didn't recognize until I saw Rocky sleeping in his bed. He holds a picture of her and mumbles in his sleep. "Call me cowboy…call me cowboy." Oh, I'm going to have a hard time getting that image out of my head! Horacio is tossing and turning. He dreams of Socorro in a red robe and camisole being fed grapes by Damian in a smoke-filled kitchen. Damian says, "Aren't you tired? You've been running around in my head all day," as he feeds her grapes. Dream Socorro complains that Horacio used to say that kind of stupid stuff to her. Damian caresses her with parsley. Horacio wakes up screaming "No! Not with my parsley!" That's an even harder image to get out of my head! Horacio's screaming wakes up Rocky and Rocky wonders qué the hell is going on between them. I'm not sure if Horacio is fully awake yet. He says that Socorro and Damian are together and Damian feeds her grapes.

Socorro and Mili are now both in the kitchen. Socorro cries that something's up with Horacio, but she doesn't know what. He's being rude and he's not flirting with her. Socorro cries that Horacio went to go sleep in Rocky's room.

Continuing our game of musical bedrooms, Karla goes looking for Damian in Braulio's room. Braulio is just leaving and asks what's up with Karla. She wonders if he knows whether Damian left the house. Braulio evades the question and he says Karla would know better than he would. Karla is suspicous of him blocking his bedroom door and suspects that Braulio's with someone. She insists he let her in to see who he's with. This brings Lina and Gloria running. Karla makes another rush the screaming brings Rocky and Horacio out to see what's going on. Then Socorro and Mili arrive and Karla says that Braulio's got a man in his room. Mili calls Braulio naughty and teases him about it. She asks if it's Pedro. Horacio accuses Socorro of coming from Damian's bedroom. She wonders where he got that idea and Horacio calls her an adulteress. Karla tries to get into the room again, but Braulio pulls her away. Finally, Damian comes out of the room asking what all the noise is about. There goes Braulio's reputation.

Alejandro sits up in bed in his jammie bottoms. Shirtless. Thanks, writers, for throwing us a bone since it doesn't look like the heavily hinted Mili-Al happy happy scene is going to happen. He remembers singing "Un Mundo Raro" with Mili onstage at the Rodeo.

Braulio tries to deny that he's with Damian, but Damian plays it up like he's with Braulio. Horacio gets upset that Damian is both with Socorro and Braulio. Socorro finally gets to explain what happened with the flowers, that Pedro brought them for Braulio and they were trying to cover in front of Luciana. Rocky tries to say "oh, so she doesn't know you're homosexual?" but somehow it comes out "heteroflexible" instead. I was thoroughly enchanted by this turn of phrase until I Googled it and found out it's been around for ages. I'm so out of the loop. Anyway, Mili tells Braulio she doesn't like Damian for Braulio's boyfriend. Braulio insists that Damian tell the truth, so of course Damian says he and Braulio are in love. Karla smacks him and calls him nasty names. Then Socorro yells at Horacio for not telling her what he was upset about, grabs him by the ear, and drags him off to their bedroom. Mili berates Braulio for his bad taste in men and Lina, Gloria, and Rocky all chime in. Poor Braulio. Mr. 5ft suggested that Braulio should have told Damian to kiss him if he wanted to prove he was in love with Braulio. I think Damian would have done it, he's that scared of marrying Karla. Mr. 5ft disagrees. What say you?

The next day, Luciana, Nestor, Alejandro, and Florencia come home from the funeral. Luciana tries to be sympathetic and says it was hard to bury her father and she was just as sad when Regina died. Alejandro doubts she cared when Regina died. Nestor encourages Alejandro to support his wife rather than berate his mother. Alejandro still needs to throw it in her face again that she ruined his life. Luciana and Florencia go upstairs. Nestor points out to Alejandro that he needs to take the reins of the Echavarria business interests since neither of the girls is in any shape to do it. He offers to help, but just gets rejected again.

Valeria is visiting Rocky's room and is surprised that he keeps the room so neat. She says she feels like a star seeing all her pictures up on his wall. They kiss. Rocky insists he needs to talk to her dad, but Valeria doesn't want to. She can't forgive him for what he did either to her or to Alejandro. Rocky accidentally spreads the gossip that Braulio and Damian are together, which throws Valeria for a loop.

Alejandro runs into Luciana outside his bedroom. She tells him his wife needs him. He tells her to leave him alone and tell Nestor to do the same. He complains that no one cared about him and that she ruined his life. Luciana says they're not having this conversation, this can't be happening. She runs off and Alejandro tells her not to call him "son" because he doesn't have a mother.

Braulio tries to beg Damian to tell the truth to the servants. Damian refuses until Karla gets off his back. Braulio refuses to help him keep up the charade. Damian threatens him. Valeria catches him holding on to Braulio by the lapels. She berates him for being all over Braulio, right there, in the middle of the study. Valeria wonders if everyone is going crazy. Braulio tries to deny that there's anything going on, but Valeria says that Rocky already told her the truth. Braulio is overcome and runs out of the room. Damian lets Valeria in on his scheme to turn Karla off. Valeria calls "Morgan" into the room and tells him she needs his help dressing up her uncle.

Florencia cries over her dead Mafia daddy. Alejandro encourages her to sleep, but she insists she can't. She wants him to promise to help her find the guilty parties. There's a knock on the door. Please don't let it be Mili! It's Constancio coming to excuse himself for not being at the funeral, since funerals have upset him ever since his mother died. Rat. Bastard. He blah blah blahs more condolences and says he thinks of Florencia as a daughter. Alejandro gets a good one in: "Go ahead, Florencia, accept, this man loves claiming kids who aren't his."

Valeria summons Karla into…is this Damian's room?...to confess to her that Damian is gay and that she noticed ever since she was a little girl that her uncle is different. Karla says no way. Valeria says there are lots of men who live double lives. Karla's on to his scheme, though. Rocky comes in to tell Valeria that the "aerobics instructor" is waiting for her in the garden. Valeria knocks on the bathroom door to pass the news on to Damian. Damian comes out of the bathroom dressed like Richard Simmons' long-lost twin. Actually, I think even Richard Simmons would tell him to tone the outfit down. Very Chicken Pimpy, indeed. He and Valeria chit chat about needing to firm and tone and lift. As they walk out, Damian suggests that Karla should do some aerobics with them, as she could use a little lifting herself. Ouch.

Socorro's got Horacio spouting pick-up lines, but she doesn't like any of them. Horacio finally just says he's suffering and she's finally satisfied. She forgives him and they make up. Unfortunately since she mentioned being completely honest and not keeping secrets he now thanks her for helping Lina through that tough time she was having a few days ago and letting him know that there was nothing serious going on.

Karla runs into the study weeping and whining. She interrupts Constancio serving himself a drink. She tells him that Damian is gay. It takes Constancio a minute to hear what she said.

Out in the garden, Damian is struggling to keep up with Valeria and the aerobics instructor. Possibly this has something to do with, as Mr. 5ft suggests, the tennis ball he's stuffed down with his pants. I'm having flashbacks to David Bowie in Labyrinth, and not in a good way. He complains about getting a cramp and tries to get the aerobics instructor to massage it out. Valeria warns her off as Damian gets handsy. Constancio and Karla come over. Constancio confronts Damian and says that Damian is either getting married or he's going down to the jobsite in that outfit. Damian struts off after Karla as Valeria and the aerobics instructor laugh.

Mili and Hugo sit on the couch. Hugo says he wants to start planning the honeymoon. Constancio and Damian walk in…oh, I hadn't noticed the earring before! Hugo's bemused. Constancio complains that one day Damian will give him a heart attack. Finally, FINALLY, Hugo points out the new painting. Constancio is muy impactado. Hugo twists the knife, talking about how beautiful Mili's mom was. Mili says it's like a family photo. Except for the dad…Constancio says. Mili says he forgot them and Hugo adds that he doesn't deserve to be in it. Constancio finally says it's beautiful and he's glad they hung it there. He says he's glad they're both staying in the house, but Hugo says he thinks there's too many people, especially with Andrea and Nestor there. Mili says it's a little too modern for her. Constancio tells them it's just until he gets named party president. He has to stop and look at the picture again before he leaves. Mili tells Hugo that Constancio's never going to admit she's his daughter, but Hugo thinks he will, someday.

Constancio goes into the study to talk to his picture of Rosario and tell her that if Mili ever finds out, she'll leave him forever and he doesn't want that. He says he's got to stay focused on becoming party president. Oh, Constancio, you're already party president in our hearts…president of the Rat Bastard party, that is. Damian walks in, thankfully not wearing his ridiculous outfit. Constancio gripes about Damian's fashion sense. Damian refuses to marry Karla and says if he's forced to do it, he'll go to the cops and accuse Constancio of killing Domingo. Dun dun dun!

Monday: Alejandro finds out that Mili and Hugo didn't sleep together. Swinging gets Luciana and Constancio going again. Florencia threatens to take Alejandro away from Mili, in the geographical sense.

Labels: guapos