Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Guapos 07/15/08 "I truely Hate these People"

I mean seriously, we are operating under the pretense that Mili's Virginity is the end all be all brass freeking ring in this diatribe.

Rehash of Consti and Luci doin the Hawt Monkey Sex…They are pretty good at hawt hate sex. Luci goes upstairs, tells the big one that she was in the jardin. Nestor says it is cold outside and he touches her face, but alas you feel hot, that is hot not hawt. Yeah cause she was cross pollinating Consti. Nestor invites her to bed, but Luci begs off with a shower (Thank you TeleNovela Gods), oh yeah also she has a headache.

Consti falls into bed wearing maroon PJ’s that Hugh Hefner left over at the mansion. Andrea tries to entreat him in a little happy-happy, but no dice, he is tired and he too has a headache. Andrea can’t believe the Sex Machine Consti isn’t up to the task.

Hugo and Mili are in the living room, Hugo is showing Mili some travel brochures for where they can spend their honeymoon. Oh the beach. Mili seems pretty excited about it, at least as excited as she ever seems with Hugo the Noble. They will be going on this big adventure in two weeks.
Now this seems like a fine idea, except Al the stalker is in the back of the room, having his VirginDar turned up fully and being that Mili is now the only Virgin in the house he is in full tracking mode. Al gets a big smile listening to the plans.

Now at breakfast Consti and Luci are slipping each other little happy-happy monkey glances. They are actually being decent to each other, which sets off Andrea and Nestor. Luci and Consti say they are in good moods cause they slept so well last night. As in actually sleep, not that hawt jungle lovin they did on the upper level in the study in front of Shakespeare and Balzac and who knows who. But knowing these AssHats, those are finely bound leather shells with blank pages.

This leads Andrea to make some snarky remarks about Luci being old and having a heart attack, I guess during sex. Nestor says he’d rather be with Luci than someone like Andrea. Meanwhile Consti and Luci are text messaging, do me..do me… do me.

Sneaky bastard Al and yes now he really is a sneaky bastard, goes in to see his WIFE. She asks him if he is mad cause she talked nicely to Nestor, Nah, Al answers, they need sometime alone. He tells her is going to plan a nice romantic vacation in a couple of weeks for just the two of them to go to the beach. Jeez could this guy be any more of a perv? Now I hate you Al cause you are making me feel sorry for your Baby-Mama. She wants to take off really soon, like yesterday…but Al razzles and dazzles her with some more lies. He has to look to the family business, rather Dead Dad Domingos business. Yes indeed cause Flor trusts him completely with her dinero. She mentions that Mateo was giving Slutty Sister some business advice.

Now we slide right on over to a business meeting of Weasel boy Mateo. He wants Consti to help him get control of Dead Domingo’s Company. This pleases Const no end. This is like a making a Consti sandwich between Andrea & Luci. Once again he is going to get to screw two people at the same time. Al the worthless bastard, he had to spend time making miserable all those years and Dead Domingo. So here is the game plan, he will swing things Mateo the Ratts way and in the meantime he will get to join the Soprano construction company with his own. I guess all those checks he gave St. Deceptions are really paying off in the heavenly favors.

Consti tells Mateo he is glad that Mili didn’t hook up with Mateo. Mateo must never do anything to hurt Mili.

Now Mili is wandering aimlessly about the Jardin. Al pops out and he is in a good mood. She is pleased. She asks if he will give Nestor a chance and he basically says, “I covered your relationsonship with Consti, so butt out of mine.” Mili agrees, giving him the fluttering doe eyes and he thanks her. She queries for what? Just for everything. Really this coded message is, “Thanks for remaining a Virgin”. You can see he thinks, you will be mine, yes you will be mine.

This tender moment of Nacatude leads to a kiss. Flor is standing behind the bush, watching, hating and considering forcing her water to break.

Finally the kiss ends and Flor must have left. Mili is all like, “What are your doing?” He is so sure of himself. Mili tells him it must not happen again. Why? He asks. She tells him if he doesn’t back off, she will leave the house and loose her inheritance. When is princess going to realize she owns the house, why doesn’t she just kick the rest of the trash out on the street? Oh yeah cause then she couldn’t stare at Al the Ass all the time.

Flor meanwhile encounter Luci in the main drag (the salon), she tells Luci it is all her fault cause she opened her big drunk mouth at the Wedding. Well you gotta admit, she is right. Luci is all like calm down, you are exaggerating.
------Meanwhile Andrea is listening in on the whole thing----
“Exaggerating?” Flor says back, “ Al and that servant were just swapping spit in the garden”.
She follows up with, “your son hates you, everyone hates you…your are going to be so alone.”

She goes upstairs and Andrea backs out of the room. Luci heads straight for the booze, which now doubt Brau anticipating her whims has a well supplied ice bucket just screaming “On the Rocks, On the Rocks.”

Now Karla the little dreamer wanders in, she asks Luci for help getting the wedding ready. Luci (a bit lit at this point), says Damien will never marry you. You are a servant, it is so not happening. Karla’s poor little face falls. Karla replies, “Consti will make him marry me.” Luci answers, “Consti loves to jerk Damien’s chain, it so isn’t going to happen.” She continues with, “You could never have our family name”, Luci then repeats the family name several times, of course I can’t remember what the hell the name was, and unlike most more dedicated recappers, I no longer record. I go more for essence than actual fact based recapping…So for conversation sake we will just call them the AssHat family of Mexico City, DF., the family is tree goes back to that famous Conquistador, “SoyUno Asshat”.

Now damn it they have made me feel sorry for Karla, it would be okay if they said she was manipulative, rude, conniving and a bitch to her mother. Apparently those are her good qualities, the hang-up seems to be the lower class.

Karla wanders off and plays right into Andrea’s grasping fingers. She tells Andrea what OLD DRUNK Luci said. Andrea says it is time to make Luci pay. Karla is all shades of eager for that. So they will force her to drink more and more. She will be left with nothing, but a swollen liver, BSC living out her life in a sanitarium. Now she has alienated everyone, they plan to also bring Val over to their side.

Meanwhile Damien AssHat, overhears Mateo and his creepy RatBastard friend discussing marrying for money and other ways of screwing over the fairer sex. Damien says he has a job for RatBastard. Once in his office he tells RatBastard, “Woe have I got the chick for you”. Experience, hawt, good looking..fun if you get my drift and all you have to do is get her interested in you. Of course, RatBastard, creepy dude prefers his women a bit more innocent…. However with the promise of cash, Damien talks the RatBastard into making a play for Karla.

Now then equally creepy Al is explaining his plan to Bobby, fans you know the plan the one where he keeps Mili’s thighs superglued together until, he can be her FIRST. Bobby is looking at him like you have lost your freekin mind. Bobby is rather horrified that Al has made all these elaborate vacation plans, and plans to take along the six month pregnant wife. Al just goes on and on about how Mili belongs to him. Bobby seems a bit sickened by the whole idea. Remember months ago when Bobby was horrified that Al had slept with Hugo’s dead (although she wasn’t yet dead) love. Yeah I’m with you Bobby, why does Hugo always come out on the short end of Al’s lust?

Also Rocky takes Val to Consti’s business, he says it is time to fess up. He wants to tell Consti. Val says No way, she turns to walk away and Rocky grabs her. Of course Consti comes out and sees this. He asks what is going on. He asks if she is messing with the help. She fires back, “Like you? Then abandoning her? Or like Mom and lying to Al all his life. Val walks away. Rocky tells Consti that he is only her driver, they ride in silence. Of course Consti calls one of his hit men to tail Val.

Flor is in the Salon, she sees Mili and fakes nice, we go through the let’s be friends crap for the mil veces…Please make it stop. She asks Mili if she has seen Al? Mili looks guilty, replies No. Not in the garden? Mili continues No. Mili runs upstairs. Flor smirks.

Now Karla is raising hell with Consti about Damien. Damien comes in and says he wants to marry Karla on Sunday. Consti is just staring. Karla is like jumping up and down, Damien is jumping up and down.

Karla runs upstairs and sees Rocky and Val slip into a bedroom. Ahhhhaaaa. She is skipping down the hall when she sees Andrea and tells her the good boda news & about Val and Rocky. Andreas always narrowing eyes get a little squintier.

Flor is sitting in their bedroom and Al comes in and flops down, he is too tired to eat. Really says Flor cause Mili asked them to dinner. Oh great, Al jumps up..yeah yeah we’ll go. She leaves the room and Al the Ego is macking on himself in front of the mirror.

Mili and Hugo are joking around in her tween bedroom and Hugo says something clever and Mili falls on top of him and gives him a kiss, and I am so ready for Hugo to nail her, when Flor comes in and says
Al invited them to dinner.

Next we are in the restaurant and Al is making eyes at Mili, when Flor asks what all the kissing in the Garden was about….BUSTED…..

Now tomorrow…Hugo is telling Al to back off, that Al just wants to be Mili’s first, which Al answers not only her first but her only.

Geez, did I mention I hate you Al? I mean I get it that Al “loves Mili”, but did we have to reduce this to Al’s superior Male prowness?

Also sorry…I forgot Gloria’s Ma finally married Gloria’s Pa. I didn’t mention cause well, I thought they got married a while back and alas, I don’t really care.

Labels:


Comments:
Howdy =)

Just a quick line to tell Kathryn I can do tomorrow (Wednesday's) recap.

Take care,
M
 

Thanks, Margarita, but that's for me, since 5ft and I have switched days. We should ask Melinama to fix the sidebar.

Beckster, that is truly the most hilarious recap I ever read. Luci and Conni text messaging: Ha!

I just saw the last couple of minutes, so this was great.
 

I too loved the "text messaging" quip, plus the "cross-pollinating" and Weasel Boy Matt.

Our Beckster has a way with words, that's for sure.
 

Sorry readers, but I can no longer even pretend to like this one. Basically we have been in a like 8 month death spiral of waiting for Al to get a notch in his belt. Nothing changes...nothing happens, everyone cheats and boinks anything that moves, except for Mili the Sainted & Nestor the Clueless (he only boinks Luci).

I think dead Granny, dead French Guy & Dead Domingo are indeed the lucky ones. Also I guess we will never let Al know that some guy named Pierre was duped into believing he was Baby-Daddy, driven to insanity and killed?

Just a small point.
 

Beckster: Great recap. I missed so much, and you filled it all in with your quirky sense of humor and wordsmithing.

Val looks like she's lost weight. So now you know where my mind goes.

From lower Ala
 

Pasofino...
A model loses weight? Normally I would be thinking big thick lines of coke and a best anorexic friend from Eastern Europe....

But no in this mess, I'm guessing it is expended calories from boinking Rocky in one of the many extra bedrooms. Now that Pa is gonna shadow Val, well I guess that means hidden boxes of pop-tarts and high fructose corn syrup. Will Val be forced to borrow clothes from Sister Chunky?
 

For sure Val's weight loss has been caused by running around so much to avoid Daddy's spies. Glad you thought of that.

And, because she has to conceal the infamous affair, she's under so much stress that she's lost her appetite. Not to mention how many calories she expends helping out at the Naco Taco.
 

Different strokes for different folks as my mother used to say. Frankly I love this show and have enjoyed almost every minute. Don't even get me stated on the shows before and after both of which give all novleas a bad name with bad acting and the cheezy sets.

I actually think a lot happens, we aren't saddled with endless rehashes of what went before, no mystery letters that are buried and burned and reburied, no women being beaten, raped and seriously abused.

Pasofino - as for Val and the weight loss lets face it who in their right mind sits down for a meal in the main dining room at Casa Belmonte. The smart ones are like Mili and Hugo who eat with the servants and don't have to stand all the sniping in the main room.
 

Ah, I still love this show. The plotting and scheming are just bonuses; the quality of the acting keeps it entertaining for me no matter how much the 8th graders are slacking on the writing on any particular episode. Watching Connie's expressions while Damian was acting all excited about marrying Karla was a treat. As was Rocky's perfect balance of obeisance and disdain when he was talking to Constancio.

Al, now, he is a piece of work. Boy seriously needs psychological help. I really feel for Bobby; who hasn't had the experience of talking to a friend who is just hell-bent on doing something insane, and not being able to talk him out of it? (p.s. I still love you, Al. You are that hot, and I am that shallow).

I like that the characters are such mixtures of good (or at least justified) and evil. Mili, the good girl, has clearly crossed the line smooching Al when she's married to Hugo, and I really pitied the vile Flor when she saw proof of her suspicions.
 

decie girl: You rock.
 

Thanks for recapping. You might be hating Al for his behavior. On the other hand, I am beginning to hate Andrea and Mateo. I don't like how they both act. I know that the actors suppose to be that way, but I am getting more and more irritable with both characters. Mateo is cold and unfeeling. He just wants Marj's and Flor's money. Mateo is not even Marj's fiance'. She was just fooling around with him now Mateo doesn't want to let go. Marj is holding back, though. I say good for her. Marj still misses and regrets cheating on Bobby. Bobby was husband material, but Mateo is not. He is like a COLD FISH. HE ACTS STIFF AND UNFEELING.

As for Andrea, she is into everyone's business especially now that she lives in the house. She is digging around rooms now. I hope she gets what she deserves. I think Luciana is right. Andrea is not going to marry Constancio. Andrea is always going to be a toy to play around with by Constancio AND whomever. He is not going to marry her.

I want the show to move on. It seems it is in one place and not moving on. Writers make something happened, please.

I have a question- What ever happened about Lina's mistake with Matt the weasel. I thought she might be pregnact or something for that is the reason Lina was in bed. I want to know what the deal with all that was. Please someone write back to me or comment about it. Thanks.
 

Lina was in bed crying because she was so upset over the horrible way Fernando treated her. Some of us were vaguely afraid she might be pregnant, but I don't think we've seen any indication that that is the case and Lina hasn't seemed to be worried about it, so I would guess probably not if she hasn't gotten concerned by this point.
 

Thank you Beckster for the many laughs.

I’m enjoying this show more and more because it doesn’t seem to be aimed at teens as much as it was in the beginning. And the acting is outstanding. I’m a big fan of the actress playing Karla, and I love how she chose to play the scene where Luci was insulting her. Instead of looking outraged or flailing around, she looked very focused and blinked and nodded at each insult, as if she was processing each one.

I felt for Andrea –Connie has been telling her she makes him crazy with lust, and now here he is in bed telling her not tonight dear, don’t expect every day to be Christmas.

I was having a lot of trouble following the dialog last night either because it was coming fast and furious or because I was getting sleepy. It seems to be that Connie had some particular reason for helping Mateo against Al and it had something to do with Al not backing Connie on something. Does anyone remember?

Also, I had the feeing that Vale when she and Morgan were out front of the office was not copping to her feelings for Morgan, but was pretending she was ordering him about. Did I get that right? Did she chicken out on telling her father?
 

Maggie,

Val did chicken out because basically she is pissed at Connie for lying to Al all those years and for having a child by a servant and abandoning her. Poor girl doesn't have all of the facts and I wonder if she would have been as mad or madder had she known Mili is the missing child. I still wonder when she will learn that bit that all of Mexico, almost, seems to know. LOL

Connie was angry at Al not backing him when Domingo said he was taking over every thing. However we had another interesting moment with Connie when Mat the Rat told him Mili had fired him and she had no representation on the board. Connie warned him off her again and Mat seemed curious to know why Connie was so protective. The older man told him that's my business. Mat is no fool, a money grubbing creep yes but an idiot no. I can't help but wonder if he is going to start to put two and two together and realize who Mili really is.

The lying Flo gets no pity from me, spying on Al and Mili and then of course running off before Mili told him to cut it out or she would leave the house and give up her inheritance. Mili is doing her level best to fend him off but Al has become as big a stalker as Hugo was. Poor Mili what perfume is she wearing that's makes these people act like fools. Eau de Novela Protagonista perhaps.
 

Thank you Decie girl! That clarifies a lot of things for me and I appreciate it.

Eau de Novela Protagonista – I love it!

But you know, when Al was kissing Mili in the garden, she didn’t shove him off right away. That kiss went on for a while. I think they’re lucky Flor didn’t get Connie’s long-barreled rifle and blast them off the lawn.
 

I'm with Julia and Decie: I still love this show, with all its "faults." But to each her own. Sorry you don't like it, Beckster, 'cause your recaps are so funny. I love the actors and the characters, and I like the way the situations keep zipping along.
 

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