Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Guapos 08-05-08 "Please Mr. Jailer, don't you make no lifer outta me"

Shout out to "CryBaby"--yeah Johnny, I woulda sprung ya.

Okay quick rehash:
Consti is in jail, for the murder of Domingo Sorprano…
(He was set up by Lobo..VillaLobo man of mystery and evil deeds. No Consti didn’t kill Domingo, but he has been doing bad things for years…So yeh it is called Karma Dude.

What the hell is her name, Blondie sister of Flor, gets a visit by Lina‘s future husband…Bobby (Not babyDaddy). He tells her he loves Lina and they are having a kid. Blondie may go for some hawt monkey grief sex.

Matt the Ratt, is freaking out, yes he may have actually peed his pants. He takes off on his motorcycle. We have yet to see if the Mafia will find him.

Now then the Thankless Children are yucking it up at the beach, for ease I will grp them as A) Al & Flor, B) Val & Rocky, C) Mili & Hugo. Now then A knows about B, C knows about B. A is unaware of C.
Thus the common denominator of B) will reduce A & C to a workable fraction. With Hugo and Flor as the remainder.

Also Luci is doing a remake of “Leaving Las Vegas”, she has assumed the Nicholas Cage role. However I don’t recall Nick bitching about his hotel room as much as Luci does, but hey she is doing her best.

Chunky Nun is chatting it up with Madre Superior. Madre is horrified at the rash of pregnancies. She laments that kids mature so fast today. Well Chunky tells her that the girls are 21 now. My how the time flies. Still Madre is about to break out in a rendition of , “What’s the Matter with Kids Today?”
---Here’s a thought ladies convert to Anglican, that way you can teach the youngin about Birth Control, cause remember “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”.---
Chunky brings up when she entered the convent 15 years ago, the Madre says that was different. Methinks Chunky has a past—but she is a fun comic character, how bad can it be?

A doctor comes in and Madre tells Chunky to leave. Hmmmm is Madre ill or is she just getting vaccinations as she plans to run off with the 1.5 million dollars she has collected over the past three years from the guilt ridden BelMonte Clan. I kinda hope so.

Now the Padre comes to visit Consti…He tells Consti all the bad crap he has done, the Amante, so on so forth. Consti says, “Well I sent Luci to be dried out”. The Padre gives him a quickie confession (the Padre is sweating it, is Consti a murder? Consti tells him, “I am not a murder”. The Padre is relieved. Jeez, I don’t think I could make a judgement that fast, but then I never felt the calling.

Now Bobby & Sista Blondie, nothing happens…Bobby leaves

We go to the Mansion, the chiclets are talking with Socorrito about the Weddings. Karla comes in and makes a snarky remark about Lina marrying Bobby, when like a fool she lost it to Dead Fred. Finally, Finally, Socorrito gives Karla a much needed smack across the face. She says the chiclets are marrying loving boyz and are going to have happy families unlike Karla who will lie down under anything that might have a roll of pesos in their pocket, only to find out it wasn’t pesos. Karla skanks off, rubbing her face.

Over at the Beach, Rocky is with Group A, Val is with Group C. Rocky is going on about how much he loves his Chiquita, Flor looks like she smells something bad, oh yeah she is sensitve to Naco. Rocky wants Al to go swimming with the Dolphins. Val is using the same story with Hugo and Mili. It will be a girls day out.

Matt’s Gramps stops by, Consti asks him to be his lawyer, but Gramps doesn’t do criminal law. He tells Consti that Matt is engaged to Sista Blondie and it probably wouldn’t be prudent to represent the murderer of her father. As if, Matt is like crossing the Colombian border by now.

Egads, Consti is being moved to the big house. Dude I am sure they will appreciate that fine Armante suit.

Hugo is standing on his balcony sketching who knows what. Flor moves out to her balcony. Hugo spots her and this leads to a what the hell moment, which leads to “We’ve been duped”. Oh the loser remaining fraction.

Now over to Flipper, Mili & Al are swimming in a pool with Dolphins and masks, the human wear masks, not the Dolphins. I think this is kinda scary what if the Dolphins go all crazy ass and attack them, like a Siegfrid and Roy moment only in a pool. Whew they take off their masks just before the Dolphins were going to drag them to the bottom. “What are you doing here?” Al cries. “What are you doing here?” Mili shouts in glee. The dolphins along with the unseen audience clap with glee. Oh yes, I speak Dolphin and they said in answer to Mili and Al’s deep question, “ What are you doing here?” “Obviously, not your said
Spouses.” “EEEEE EEE EEEE”, that is the laugh, Dolphins make when they are laughing at an inside joke.

Now the much forgotten Hugo and Flor go sit outside and Hugo drinks. Flor talks about what a skank Mili is and Hugo talks about what a rat Al is. Here comes the Egyptian twins. Ramses starts in on Flor about how she should restrict her fluid intake due to her feet swelling up like sausages, what with her pregnancy and all. Flor wants to be alone and I can’t say I blame her. Ramses is kind of hawt, but damn then he opens his mouth. This leaves NefroNympho alone with Hugo, she orders a margarita and orders Hugo more Tequila. Hugo gets a sly smile on his face, now I don’t blame him either, seems the whole vacation won’t be a waste.

Back at the office Damien is living large in Consti office, Andrea comes in and gets all smart ass with him. Damien always the pragmatist says, hey Consti is going down for a long time, he will probably die in jail. I will have the company and let’s have hawt monkey sex. Well actually, it took like two minutes to get to the monkey sex part, he started by unbuttoning her dress buttons, Andrea’s eyes narrow and pragmatist that she is, realizes that just cause you are morally bankrupt does not mean you can’t trade sex for money.

Now the happy kids, (Al, Val, Rocky and Mili) take a launch to an island. Rocky and Val frolic in the waves and Al tries to get one of what he hopes will be millions of kisses. Alas our little convent raised Mili can’t give in to her desires, no kissy no touchy. Oh Hugo the sacrifices she makes for you.

Consti has traded in his suit for some Khaki Prison Duds, as he is walked down the hall, several prisoners kick the crap out of him. Finally the guards say, enough. Ha Ha Ha, good times. Consti is thrown into a cell.

Luci is in a bank trying to cash a check. It seems she is living by the maxim “It is better to drink good than to look good”. Her account is empty, no dinero, she makes a bit of a scene as she stumbles out.

Now we see Andrea buttoning up, the deed has been done. Damien is off to get info about Consti and once again no work ever gets done in that office.

At the resort, Hugo and Nef are in the pool, they are making out. She quizzes him about his marriage. Hugo too is a pragmatist, he tells her his wife is off with the love of her life, but Hugo seems willing to try and party on without his wife. This pool is the example of why I would never get in a public hot-tub, people think hot-tubs are the same thing as your hotel room only without sheets.

Al and Flor are having a snack on the island, everyone must hurry cause the last launches are leaving. They all four get to the launch and Val says she left her purse at the eatery, she send Mili & Al back for it. The launch takes off without Mili and Al, (oh yes it was planned by Rocky and Val). Mili and Al are stranded on the island until tomorrow.

Now Flor will have to set around watching her feet swell and burst her flip-flops and hopefully Hugo will get his groove back with Nef the Nymph.

That big huge guy comes to see Consti in prison. (the one he was paying to keep an eye on Damien). Consti tells him that Consti is innocent. It seems most people look skeptical when he says it.

Now Damien is having a chat with his ol prison pal. He wants the guy to make Consti’s life a living hell. The guy says, Consti paid him for three anos to protect Damien. Okay only make his life a little rough.

Sucker that Damien is, he falls for a story from this guy about a shady lady who turned this guy into the cops and kept millions of dollars that they robbed from a bank. He tells Damien she is dangerous. Damien bites and thinks he likes dangerous women. I am wondering if Consti set him up. I bet so.

This is all I remember….

I say with Consti missing, Luci on a bender, Damien out prowling for strange....
The kids should have an awesome kegger party

Labels:


Comments:
Thanks for the recap, beckster. Great awesome snarkiness, too. ;-) I loved Consti's mug shot scene, too. He had the facial expressions down to a 'T.'

doris
 

Well, our garage sale VCR bit the dust last night so I've got to say I'm beholden to you, Ms. Beckster, for filling me in. Actually I'm always beholden to you 'cause you make me laugh. Pure gold!

Loved the "dead Fred" quip. Glad I didn't miss any actual Mili/Alejandro kisses. Of course that will probably happen next week when I'm doing "real life" taking care of the grandchildren.

Damian and Constancio just go back and forth messing with each other don't they? I'm beginning to enjoy that combo more than the romantic ones.
 

Oh, goody, I thought when I saw Hugo making out with the Nefster. Now we can completely write him off as deserving of any proper behavior from Mili.

Loved the product placement for dolphin swimming--and your description, Beckster. Thanks for another hilarious recap.
 

Thanks Beckster, really funny! I especially liked the math equation and dolphin laughs!

Ok, seriously, Andrea needs to stop shagging any man in a suit. Maybe she and Villalobo would be a good couple.

I'm glad Hugo decided to go the "if you can't beat them, join them" route instead of going nuts.

I'm not generally uptight about these things (as you can see from my comment on Hugo), especially since this is telenovela land, but I would really enjoy the romance between Mili and Alejandro more if they were at least in the process of divorcing their spouses instead of vacationing with them. Ok, maybe I am being uptight.....
 

I only catch a few minutes of this show now and then , but I enjoyed your recap , Beckster. You are the Queen of Snark, Honey. I always enjoy your unique style and viewpoint.
 

Loved the recap!

I'm pretty sure that Nef and Hugo did the deed. At one point, she asked him, "How long has it been since you've made love?" He replied, "Um ten minutes." She said (I think), "I don't mean with me."

What was up with the weird music in tonight's show? The English music during those stupid dolphin scenes was unbearable, and the weird jazz/bluesy music during Consti's mug shot scenes was inappropriate.
 

Great recap. Hey, does anyone know the name of the hotel in which these guys are staying?
 

Gee doesn't Andrea gives skanks everywhere a bad name. Her scenes with Damian give me the creeps and did anyone notice that dress she was wearing looked about two sizes too small. Even before the button routine they were gaping and pulling and what is with her always sticking her butt out when kissing some guy. It isn't as if she is so tall that she has to get down to their level to do it.

What a contrast of events in a single show. All the light fun and games with the young ones and the dolphins with the violence and betrayal for the old ones. Poor MP1 you could almost feel sorry for her. Everyone else is off having fun, Hugo is getting some action with nympho Nef and giving Mili grounds for divorce and all she does is sit around and whine. Can't help but wonder if MP2 will break the rules and give her the news about Connie while she is on vacation.

Speaking of slutty MP2 I didn't like that scene with Bobby one bit. She cheated on him and got caught in the act but now she wants him back. Looks like the Echeveria girls always want what they can't have. I wish Bobby hadn't shown up to give her comfort but at least he got away from her before she could lure him into trouble. I can't help wishing that Lena's pregnancy turns out to be a false positive. Has anyone taken these girls to a doctor? Or is everyone making life changing decisions based on a home pregnancy test?

It made no sense to me (but then what does in Novelaland) that the guards would stand around and let Connie have the crap beaten out of him. If he'd been in for a while and got on their nerves but he just arrived. Liked the scene with BPG (Big Prison Guy) and Damian when he told him that Connie had paid him to protect Damian.

I don't see Damian as a pragmatist at all. To me he is totally amoral. He is the guy who would throw his mother under a bus if it would gain him some edge. I always thought he loved Luci, Hugo and his wife. But how could he love his sister and then keep her from getting treatment for her alcoholism, give her money but not too much for more booze and leave her alone. Now that he is a big shot politico how is it going to look if his sister is found drowning in booze in a gutter somewhere. Won't stand up to his "family values" platform.
 

Nicolas,

I'm not sure about the hotel but it might be one of several. I'm thinking it might be the Velas Vallarta but guess we have to check the credits. In any event there are several swim with dolphins programs in PV so the scenes with them may not have been filmed at the hotel.
 

Thanks for another laugh-out-loud recap, Beckster!

It can’t be good news from the doctor for the MS – the music sounded sorrowful during that scene with her.

I’m thinking Vale and Morgan are trying to forward the cause of True Love, but they sure are going like a wrecking ball through two marriages.
 

Damien is a RatBastard, but he knows it and so does everyone else. Yeah, he played Karla, but she was forcing him into a marriage that he didn't want and like Satan with the apple, he only held out Dead Fred, he didn't make her do it. Damien is enough of a realist to know that Karla would take the bait. He is enough of a realist to know Andrea would boink him, and he is enough of a realist to know, Luci isn't going to get dry. He gave her the option of not being locked away in a psycho ward, but it is her choice to stop or not.

Damien is making hay while the sun shines fully knowing that if Consti gets out, he will be back to being the disgraced second fiddle brother-in-law and yeah he is fine with that.

It is what it is...
 

Maggie,

I missed the bit weth the music in the scene with the doc and MS because we were in the middle of a thunder storm. I hope there is nothing wrong. It would be another tragedy for Mili to lose yet another mother figure. At least she'll always have Socorro who finds time to mother all of the girls. Too bad Karla has only just begun to see how lucky she is.
 

I tip my hat to you Beckster ;) You always make me laugh and have such wit. Have you considered writing editorials? The fun ones of course! Connie is indeed looking at some major Karma payback.

Big Prison Guy is called "El Mono Salazar" - mono means monkey. MP2 is named Marisela, but I like that Bobby calls her blondie ;)

The MS and the Chunkster said her past is a a naughty sister. I wonder if this will be the Macarena chick Mono talked about, or Bloody Mary from the credits. It also occurs to me that this Macarena that ripped Mono off (I think he was telling the truth, but I could be wrong, I always screw up when I pick my ponies) might be the character Maribel Guardia is playing. I think I told you my theory that she will be someone completely different that just happens to look like Mili's mom.

I loved the dolphin scenes, but I was a little worried about our fair-haired folks spending all those hours shooting in the aquarium. Dolphins have very sensitive skin, and you aren't allowed to wear any sunscreen in the tank, and they even make you shower to remove any oils or dirt that might hurt them. It's not too bad if you're pre-tanned and it's for the usual hour or two, but I suspect these guys were in there for quite a while, and water seriously reflects the sun.

Linda, you heard right about Nef and Hugo. They have done the deed, and she's pretty sure he's not getting any 'cause he seemed "starved" to her. What are the chances that he'll go back to being a nice guy and just tell Mili to annul their ridiculous marriage? I for one, wish they did.

Decie, Damian's family values platform is indeed on shaky ground. Lest we forget, he just used a blank check from his sis to clean out her bank account. Luci may well give up on her plans to hide and return to the mansion and raise hell for her kids. 'Til that happens, I like Beckster's idea of the kids throwing a kegger, right after they kick Andrea out of the house!

It's awfully presumptuous of Damian to think he's in charge. He has 20% control, but his boy has 40% with his and Mili's shares. I highly doubt Connie will let Damian take control of his shares, so I strongly suspect Hugo will be left as the big head honcho of the offices that do nothing.

OK, I don't want to reveal a spoiler. I will say this though, from the previews and about 10 seconds I saw on You Tube by accident: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT miss tonight's episode. That's all I'm saying...
 

Thanks decie girl. I checked the velas website, and I think you're right. I want to go there!
 

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