Caray, Caray!

Aaaarrrggh...I have some kind of mild (as if) stomach virus and this episode didn't help one bit. I'm going to rush through the nasty part (like a written fast forward) but there's no getting around it. Sara scored a big one tonight.

But let's start at the beginning...with a brief rehash. Dario and Paula are about to get down to serious reconciliation business when Bettina bounds in and wants to sleep with them. They cave and so the first night back together is spent in a family sandwich in a very small bed. My parents had a small bed and when we lived by the finger lakes of New York and we got scared by the frequent thunderstorms, my sister and I would high-tail it in there and spend the night squished between them. So I know it can be done. And they still managed to have a third child...don't ask me how.

In the meantime Alonso is sitting alone, looking at a picture of Lorena and breathing heavily. 'Nuff said.

And Lorena is looking googly-eyes at Ernesto, now that she knows the kids are back and that he's really a big teddy bear underneath that neurotic ,narcissistic exterior. Some kisses, Mmmm good, and then some more...but wait! she draws back, suddenly afraid she's going to be just one more on his long list of conquests. He assures her that this is the real thing. We can but hope!

Okay. New stuff. Sara calls. Alonso's sick of her. (so are we!) He's preparing to leave for Quebec and his workshop in bariatric surgery. Has a nice farewell with Papa Toribio even though there's some grousing from Mr. T. about how Alonso and Paula treat him like he's over the hill and incompetent to take care of himself.

Now a happy scene twixt Maruja Rossy and Lorena, toasting the reconciliation of our young lovers and Ernesto's character improvement. Doorbell rings; it's Jaime. Maruja is happy, Rossy is making faces and Lorena , ever the peacemaker, drags her off so Jaime and Maruja can talk business. Jaime thinks maybe they should go elsewhere but Maruja assures him that eventually Rossy will come around.

So Jaime got a mixed reception. But Sara....whoa...very cold welcome from Toribio when she barges into the apartment. She tries to schmooze him with some talk about planning an event for "seniors" and he wastes no time letting her know he doesn't want to be patronized and doesn't want her around...he's busy. And by the way, Alonso has gone to Canada. Punto. She protests that he's hurting her feelings but he hustles her out anyway.

At Ernesto's, everything is hunky-dory. Gina and Alex are happy. Lorena's around again and they're "like family". Ernesto jumps in and adds, they can get married right now if Lorena's game.

Hey, I'm for it. Happy ending and onto another telenovela. But wait, no we have to have more wickedness from Sara first. Much more, I fear.

Now another reconciliation...this time with Ivan and Bettina. He arrives with flowers and apologies. She receives him with a number of hugs. Not happy that he just considers them "amigos" but I'm sure that will change pronto.

Sara's doing her crazy ass girlfriend number at the clinic. Badgering the desk nurse to tell her where Alonso has gone (if he's your boyfriend, call him yourself and ask him, she replies) and then demanding that Bruno give her the 411. He's even nastier. Don't bother trying to follow him, it's a waste of time and money....he'd just send you packing.

But folks, if you think any of this discourages our Sara, you're wrong. She's still got lots more nasty up her sleeve.

Back at Paula's, the" sadder but wiser gals" are meeting for their weekly tequila and cards bash. Dario's in the bedroom watching TV with Bettina and when Greta finds out they've reconciled, she wants the lowdown on their lovelife. Nothin' doing but Paula does admit he still "me hace bum! el corazoncito". However things turn sour when she tells Bettina it's time for bed and Dario protests. "Are your friends going home?" he adds. "They just got here," she snaps. Hmmm...very bad start.

Things are pretty bad at Arturo's as well. Jacqui has made off with badmom's porcelain figurines which mom claims are Limoges. Jacqui claims they're crap and go with the crappy decor of the whole place....which SHE intends to change. Ickturo lays down the law...if they don't get along, he's outta there. Jacqui grabs him and promises an aromatherapy bath and massage. Mom promises his favorite frijole dish. Mom wins. Then he requires them to hug which they do with gritted teeth. Man, his appeal escapes me entirely, but these two females are fighting over him like he's.....well, like he's Fernando Colunga....which he is so not!

Back to Paula and Dario. Her gal pals have finally left and he's ready to be helpful taking off her sweater. Another lost recap opportunity for Ferro. He wants her to relax, enjoy his kisses (she's still steamed about his contradicting her with Bettina) but the scene ends with possible bedroom action about to commence. She looks like her mind is elsewhere though. Still her hand is around his neck, even if she's not returning his kisses. We can but hope.

Sara's at school, catches sight of Lorena happily chatting with Ernesto and sneers, Be happy while you can. I'm going to win the contest. Aaarrgh, my stomach's roiling just writing this.

Monica and the randy hostess are discussing Monica's lovelife or lack thereof. Hostess wonders why she's so obsessed with Chef Hawt. Monica just is...that's all. She wants Ernesto to use her and lose her (Lorena) but hostess wisely point out that even if he does, that doesn't mean he's coming back to Monica. Instead, why not come with me to a Singles evening, she suggests. Monica doesn't want to seem "for sale" but finally agrees.

All right...on to the contest for who's going to work on TV with Chef Whasshisname. I'm going to compress this because it's just too darned awful. First Sara , who's among the five finalists, overhears Lorena talking to Ernesto about what "platillo" she's going to prepare for the tryout and gets on the phone with the business chef to consult on how to sabotage it. Then at
the studio, she bribes the makeup artist to put some awful hive-inducing powder on Lorena's face. Not content with that, she goes into the studio and substitutes wrong, yukky tasting ingredients for those in Lorena's bin and refrigerator holdings.

The tryout is a disaster for Lorena. She looks like hell; she's distracted by all the itching and the strange ingredients; her final dish tastes as bad as she looks, and Sara wins the contest. Ugh and double ugh. The head of the school is surprised by Lorena's poor performance but is impressed when later, a simpering Sara tells the TV chef and the producer that cooking is in her genes, after all, she is Hortensia Armendariz' granddaughter. More points for our villaness. I just hate episodes like this!

Lorena confronts Sara in the dressing room and even though Lorena defends herself well... it isn't satisfying. Sara still won and is gloating about it. Lorena reminds her that Sara is really a failure. She can only win by hurting others. Basically she is alone; even Alonso doesn't want her. Whereas Lorena is surrounded by people who love her. And finally, if you want me for an enemy rather than a friend, watch out Sara! ( Okay, I know we're supposed to feel better after this but somehow I don't...and I doubt if Lorena does either.)

But at least Chef Hawt is waiting for our lamb outside and he doesn't seem too put off by her horrible face. He notes that the rightful person doesn't always win the contest. Yes, but Lorena was hoping to have a little money, learn to drive, maybe get a car. Our hunky chef has all the answers....he'll teach her to drive, she can borrow the car when she wants and hey, he loves her. She's not alone. HE'LL ALWAYS BE WITH HER.

Oh no, the fatal telenovela words. A breakup must be just around the corner. Dang.

Now we have one of those zingy collage things to tell us time is passing. Alonso's up in Canada learning lots about surgery and telling his dad the hospital is terrific. Of course he's still staring at Lorena's picture while studying. Zulema's still eating mucho while Omar tentatively slips an arm around her shoulders. Rossy and a shirtless Justin (thanks, writers) are looking at wedding dresses. Diana is sitting up in bed with her usual glum look while Bruno, his back turned to her, sleeps away. Maruja and Jaime are toasting with champagne. Dario looks on disgusted as Paula plays cards with her buddies. Monica has evidently snagged a beau at singles night and is introducing him to dad. Chalo and Barbara are happily chowing down at the neighborhood quesadilla place. Amalia tries to talk to Toribio at the elevator and gets the brushoff. A couple of "happy family" scenes with Lorena, Ernesto and the kids ending with Lorena making panquecitos for the little 'uns and a big smooch between Ernesto and Lorena. I'm trying to enjoy this but just feel a big anvil coming.

Okay, now back to nasty Sara. She's at the mall signing autographs for two devoted fans of the Chef and Sara show. Diana and Zulema are also at the mall and Zully wants to talk to Sara, over Diana's vehement protests. Sara gives her a cool look, tells her she must be mistaken, she doesn't know her and starts to sweep off. Diana grabs her and tells her not to treat her mother that way. You're "basura" (garbage) she adds. One pays for what one does, adds Zulema. Typical consolation of "losers" sneers Sara and flounces off.

This brings on labor pains for Diana, ( and more abdominal cramps for me!) and off they go to the hospital. Naturally, Bruno can't be found. He's off cooking up some illegal deal for selling medication from the clinic inventory to some sleazeball for half-price. He ignores all of Omar's attempts to phone him (even ignoring the concerns of his sleazeball client) and only arrives at the hospital afte the baby is born....by C-section.

He breezes in with nary an apology, curtly acknowledges that he already knows it's a boy and in general is just a (well I can't write the word but it starts with "p"). The baby, by the way, is incredibly cute and is definitely not a newborn, but why quibble? When Julian starts to touch it, Rossy holds him back...it's not a football after all! And everybody looks happy except Bruno, who's a skank....well, and Diana who always looks worried...but in this case, she's entitled.

Communication is going great guns with Nurse Ratchet and Hortensia. Our stroke victim can now communicate with the index finger as well as the eyes, and the upshot is that she still doesn't want to let Vasco in on her secret; she has other plans.

So has Sara. Seeing Lorena with Ernesto at school, she fumes that her nemesis is happy while, she Sara, doesn't have Alonso. Time to do some more dastardly deeds. First she grabs Leticia (who was one of the five finalists for the Chef show) and insinutates that Lorena's good grades and scholarship are all because of her romance with Ernesto. Leticia is better than Lorena by far and look! she got turned down for a scholarship. You and the other students should protest, she adds.

First anvil falls. Ernesto's called into the office. The head tells him about the complaints, and while she sees nothing wrong with the relationship (you're both adults) she will have to withdraw Lorena's half-tuition scholarship in order to head off a revolt.

Sara wins another round. If Lorena lives happily ever after, it's not during this episode, folks. So sorry.

Vocabulary:

tianguis = Mexican word for street market. (where Jacqui thinks badmom got her "Limoges porcelain figurines)

vetado = vetoed (how Toribio feels at no longer being trusted to handle administrative details for apartment)

salada = jinxed (what Lorena feels....and boy is she right!)

trato hecho = it's a deal (sleazeball client and Bruno)

Labels: enemiga