Caray, Caray!

First let me just say I was thrilled to watch the “Angel” show which precedes this freak show and to see our young Libia, wealthy and dancing with a man who was born in the same decade as young Libia. It did my heart good.

We see Damien riding a horse and some octogenarian Mexican pushing around what I assume was a practice Bull. Wow, is this like rich guys playing polo? This scene was actually pretty sad, I guess it is suppose to be something the country gentlemen would do to maintain their social standing and maybe get a little exercise. I think the eighty year old dude with the fake bull was probably the only one who broke a sweat. Anyway, real hombres, the two remaining Kings come riding up. I’m sure in better circumstances this would have given the brothers of the common people something to chuckle about.

Meanwhile, Juan is teaching Basic Agriculture 101, in the ghetto section of Mexidoom. Some compesino guy has just cut his own thigh. I know not if it was a simple slip of the machete or a blood sacrifice to the Gods to ensure a fertile growing season. Professor Juan steps in and declares they must get hurt guy to the doctor’s stick hut. They help the guy get up and help him stumble in search of help. This confuses me as I wonder why Juan doesn’t just throw hurt guy over his overly broad shoulders and carry him. Oh crap I forgot the body is willing, but the brain is weak. The remaining native peoples are awed by the awesomeness of Juan. He is like a brother to them, he is so good, please don’t let him leave. Would they have simply let hurt guy lay there and bleed to death, cut up his dead body and use him for fertilizer?

Sofie is still lamenting her missing hija to Eva. Sofie has given up all hope. Eva says never give up hope after all look at Eva’s lame ass life. She has been looking for her kid for decades now and she knows that some day she will see her. Sofie desperate to be the soul center of attention retorts that Eva’s tale is different. Of course it is Sofie. Sofie doesn’t even know if her kid is alive. To sum this suck fest up, she whines, she cries, she annoys. Sofie fears Juan & the kid are dead. Her heart is filled with both love and hate for Juan. She fears she has lost the two loves of her life, her heart is broken. Pleeeeeeeezzzzzzzeeee
Sofie, we the very bored viewing audience know fine, well and good, that even when these two missing chunks of your heart reappear, that you will continue to squeeze out tears at each and every opportunity.

Now back to the boyz. Oscar & Franco tell Damien that Juan could never steal the kid. Yadda Yadda Yadda as we are forced to once again listen to the wonderful attributes of Juan. Damien is like “With all due respect” “Sofie is suffering and I will do anything to help her find her kid” The boyz get the squinty eyes as they ask, “So are you trying to get into the long black mourning knickers of Juan’s Mujer”. Damien only wants to see her happy and nothing would make him happier than having the long suffering Sofie at his side. What is it with this chick? Seriously do men just sit around dreaming of a woman who is weak and frail and whining? Also a shout out for Mariachi, I think he decided to let his hair grow and get a gig with the rich guy where he doesn’t have to eat bowls of crappy dry pan.

Now back to the jungle, I guess Juan finally found a clue. Carrying hurt guy, Juan enters the clinic of sticks and dumps hurt whining guy on the bed. Doctor Babe hands Juan a bottle of alcohol, which he pours on hurt guy’s leg so he can scream even more. Hurt guy asks Juan to go find hurt guy’s kid.

Fer is smacking Ros around for giving Gabi the 411 regarding the fact that Luisito is really the sad spawn of Fer. Franco enters and starts smacking Fer around, Fer pulls a gun and threatens to kill both.

Gabi is in her room lamenting the not sharingness of the evil Fer. Jeez WTF? It happened like five years ago and it isn’t like Fer wants the kid over at the hacienda on the weekends and demands that Luisito call Gabs “Mama”. I think maybe it is cause Fer, diddled someone of the lower classes. Gabi says she may tell the Nasty Reyes boyz that Fer whacked Libia. Egads, what next. Gabs goes all BSC and starts searching the drawers, I don’t know what she is looking for. Maybe a giant 34HH sparkle encrusted bra. Oh the betrayal. Finally she finds the snake belt that Fer stole from The Uribe Hacienda. Gabi strokes the belt and recalls this is the belt Ricardo Uribe wore when he whacked the Reyes parents. She caresses the buckle. I dunno, but it appears to me that Gabi is no stranger to stroking that snake (with all due respect).
Servant lady comes in and tells Gabi that Rosendo wants to talk to her. Servant lady leaves, Gabi sucks back snotty tears and gives one last stroke to the snake.

Armando is in the hall listening to the fight going on in the room between Fer, Franco & Ros. Armando realizing that “He who turns and runs away lives to fight another day”, slips off down the hall. Fer orders Ros & Franco to “GET OUT”.

Ros & Franco have a little talk in the hall. Franco questions Ros about why she stays. She tells him, Fer can have her thrown in jail and then life would really suck for Luisito. Franco tells her that he stopped by because Padre Tad told the boyz, that Fer was very dangerous and now Gabi’s daughters were in great danger. Ya think? Anyway, Ros tells Frankie that Fer has been a bit high strung lately & he is in great fear of Da Da Da Duh….EL Jefe.

Juan found Hurt Guy’s Hijo. To avoid confusion, the child shall now be dubbed Hurtito. Juan decides to put Hurtito on a horse. Juan is kinda of stroking the horse’s head and baby talking to it….WHEN yet another set of half remember memories enter his already compromised brain area. We witness the stricken expression, the swirling bad acid colors and mixed scenes, the horse and so on. Unfortunately Juan does not have a full on writhing set of seizures and I for one was disappointed. However Juan was left to wonder who are these spirits who haunt his mind.
--No animals or children were harmed in the filming—

Rosendo tells Gabi that Fer sold the stuff (what? Who the hell knows?) my husband said he guess that Fer sold the crops or something. My husband also says he didn’t know they grew anything on the Hacienda so I guess Fer sold some unknown products of said farm and pocketed the profits. Gabi’s pissed state just continues to grow.

Pablito is having a “South Park” kind of day at school. The teacher is out of the room and the kids are taunting Pablito that “Juan Reyes is nothing but a dirty rotten baby stealer” Pablito like two of his fathers, starts counting off the virtues of Juan. One little smart ass pulls out a wanted poster. Pablito is about to go medieval on the kid when the teacher breaks it up. The kid sits down and begins chanting, “Juan Reyes is Mal”. The teacher has to physically restrain Pablito.

Oscar & Frankie visit Tio Jefe in the jail. He is happy to see the boyz. The boyz tell Jefe they are worried about the sisters. Jefe says he has Coyote keeping an eye on Fer. They tell Tio that Juan is now a wanted man. El Jefe says he thinks Juan took the kid. Jefe knows what it is like to have his kid taken away. After all boyz, how do you think I ended up here.

Padre Tad stops by to see Sofie, seriously this must count as penance and save Tad from having to flail himself with a cat-o-nine-tails. It would be a toss-up. Of course, Sofie cries, whines and blames everything on Juan. Tad says he doesn’t believe Juan could ever do such a thing. Sofie says then where is he? I have to admit she does have a point. I mean seriously she really does have a point. She pretty much did make it a point to tell the evil Juan that she didn’t need no baby daddy.

Coyote stops by the Hacienda, Gabi says Fer isn’t home. Coyote says that he isn’t there to see Fer, he came to see her. Coyote is there for her, should she ever need anything, he is at her beckon call. Gabi is totally taken with her knight in shining leather sportcoat. He bends and kisses her hand. Gabi has a pleased flattered look in her eyes and the pleasure seems to spread from her eyes to well, you know in a southernly direction.

Back to the jungle, Porn Jefe has some young native woman pinned to a tree, he is trying to get her to give it up. It will make life easier for her parents, being that since they are ignorant heathens that have no access to psychiatric care, they will get to reap the rewards of daughter boinking porn star and won’t have to spend any money on the lifetime of mental help that said young maiden will require after sex with Porn Jefe.
Don’t fear viewers, Juan comes upon this “I’ve got candy” moment. He tells the girl to go home and he knocks the Porn Jefe down and stomps off. Porn Jefe lies on the ground and vows vengeance, he will set Juans stick hut on fire. Good luck Porn Jefe, Babe Doc has been trying to do that for months.

Back at the Bar of Bad Love. Ros is all dressed up and ready to go on stage. She is wearing a stunning Red & Gold set that seems to enhance her enhanced hooters. She is talking to Armando in the hall. He tells her she can count on him. She asks him if Fer had anything to do with the disappearance of Juan. Armando can't look her in the eye. The conversation ends as the Horny Crowd is screaming for Ros.
She goes on to do her token routine, dancing singing with the back-up chicas, while flames shoot up from the stage drawing the eye to crotch level. I gotta say that Fer has a marketing artistic eye, I would have never pegged him for.

After the dance, Fer has Ros in the office. He proceeds to choke the truth out of Ros regarding the earlier visit of Franco. He is pretty creepy and I think Ros is probably going to get raped. Ros chokes out that Pad Tad said Fer was dangerous now that he is married to Gabi. Fer lets her go and tells her to get out.

Meanwhile Oscar has once again visited the not catatonic Ximena. He tells what Tad said about Fer being dangerous. He wants her to come live at the Reyes house. Ximena, who has nothing to do but lay around thinking up snotty things to say, tells him he only wants to use her and besides how could she leave her sisters in danger?
--First Ximena let’s be honest, Oscar has it made, he climbs up, nails you and gets to leave; thus avoiding your nagging, whining and sad over shopping. Second, you are really helping your sisters out with the whole fake catatonic act.—
Anyway this goes to her turning off the light and him slipping between the sheets. A stalemate.

Pad Tad is now standing in the street talking to Sofie, I guess the Little Shop of Crap is closed for the evening. He offers to accompany her home. Sofie says no that is okay she is in her silver SUV & she will go straight home. She gets the usual blessing and drives off.
----Question here----I do not recall Sofie having a brand new spanking Silver SUV. Oh now I get it. Let’s see should I make some posters, hire a private detective, look for my kid? No, someone else will probably do it. I’ll just buy a new SUV & “Honest Jose’s House of OverPriced OverLarge SUV’s” is giving a great deal 10,000 peso rebate and I can buy 20 new frumpy black frocks, the vintage collection. That way should I get dry eye, people will still be forced to feel uncomfortable around me and experience my angst.

As Princess drives off, Fer is sitting in his Truck and puts a silencer on his gun. Pad Tad is just standing there doing the ol prayer for Sofie. Fernando aims, we hear a squeal. Pad Tad has bent down to pick up Mariachi (who is wearing a daushcand suit). Fer aims for another shot, Fer hears someone yelling. It is the daushcand’s parents. They come up and chat with Padre and take the dog home. Fer leaves, Fer believes Padre has some invisible protection. Padre starts shivering, he feels an evil in the air.

Coyote and Gabi have shared a toast, that Gabi is quite the drinker. They are fast friends. Standing at the front door, Coyote stresses again that she can count on him. He bends again and is kissing her hand when Fer walks in. Coyote leaves and Fer starts yelling at Gabi, she answers that Coyote is a friend of his. Fer says no that Coyote is his worst enemy. Please Fer, rephrase that and say Coyote is your smartest enemy.
It seems the honeymoon is over. Gabi threatens Fer with the Libia thing and he answers go ahead and I will tell your part in the missing Juan and Hija story. We have a Mexican Standoff here.

The end………………………

Looks like tomorrow night Porn Jefe catches Juan in one of those traps where you step in the loop and then get jerked up in the air upside down. At first I thought Juan was having the seizure of all seizures, but once I stopped laughing I realized the truth. Just another little disappointment in my life.

Would some kind person please tag this for me?
Thanks

Labels: Fuego