Caray, Caray!

Shout out to David Bowie cause...Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)


Hash Rehash…Nic covered it so well last night, need I say more…
Thank you Televisa for the cheesy scene chewing of not one night…but two nights with scenes of Sofie and Juan rehash.

Now down to the native village, Juan is petting the mysterious beautiful black horse. Said Horse is only mysterious, because well face it fans, Juan is an overwhelming tool & has lost his memory, his dignity and the laws of physics say, soon to lose whatever remaining threads are still holding his one pair of too tight previous owned by Oscar undies. After caressing the horse, Juan turns to the long line of waiting natives and continues to inject grinning extras with vaccine. Of course he does not wash his hands, fear not viewers this is quite sanitary compared with later scenes.

Babe Doc is withering on her bed she moans, turning this way and that. No it isn’t a Juan dream, it’s the fever. Nestor Miranda (yes I like Nic have no idea what this tool’s name is) anyway he is the father of Babe Doc, enters the Babe Hut, Babe Doc is moaning and babbling she is incoherent. He rushes in and quickly assesses the situation, locates a syringe of genuine ju-ju juice and gives her an injection in the arm.
This is some awesome medicine, Babe’s vision clears, she sees Nestor, Pa! Seriously this is like in thirty seconds. He tells her how proud he is of her, how he was wrong. Yadda Yadda Yadda.
---During this Crapfest I am thinking, hmmm plague, straw walls, HELLO, didn’t the fleas live on the rats in the straw that was all over the floors of the house in filthy ole Europe?---

How come when I stumbled home at seventeen, moaning, babbling, incoherent and unable to stand my Dad smacked me around and grounded me for a month? Jeez, I guess it is fortunate that the amount of alcohol I consumed killed the plague cause I didn’t get no life saving vaccine.

Anyway back at the hacienda, Sofie is so freekin thrilled that Juan is back, no doubt he has brought the missing hija. Right in the middle of her little blue bird of happiness dream, Pablito walks in and says, Juan isn’t back, I made the pan cause I don’t want you to forget Juan & start humping that Damien guy. (Okay he didn’t say the humping part, but he was thinking it)

Sofie is all shades of put-out. She chastises Pablito, telling him that Juan is a hija stealer. Pablito sticks up for Juan. Sofie says she loved Juan so much and thinking he was back made her so happy, but alas her dreams are dashed.
--Okay I get that Sofie is DEPRESSED, but I guess she forgot that she promised to be a mother to this little waif. Pablito believes in Juan, Sofie believes in crushing any hope Pablito may have left. In a beautiful touching scene the camera cuts to Sofie, with a sad ginormus tear rolling down her wan, pale face. After dashing any hope Pablito may still have about goodness, the future and someday finding true love, the kid makes an exit out the balcony. Sofie says he is a true Reyes, using the balcony. Hopefully this knowledge of scaling walls into women’s bedrooms will come into more productive practice as soon as Pablito enters puberty.

Over in Jimena’s room Eva, Sarita & Jimena are hugging, crying & forgiving Eva. Eva of course is crying cause indeed it must somehow be her fault. By the by, Jimena is decked out in a mini-skirt, red shirt & big red hoop earrings. Sofie comes in and she is amazed that Jimena is up and about. Jimena has a fleeting look of guilt. I guess cause she has been faking it and boinking Oscar nightly. This quickly turns to an “All Sofie All the Time” moment and she tells them the Sofie Pan story and lil Pablito story. Sofie says she remember the happiest times of her life were in Juan’s arms. Sarita trashes Juan and flounces down on the bed.
--Seriously could Sarita be any less appealing? As if in any other existence other than Mexidoom a nag like Sarita could get a guy like Franco. Nope, Nada, Never.

Anyway this moves on to a totally bonding of the four Mujers. I fully thought Gabi would walk in and horsewhip the group, but no such luck.

Over at Damien the wanna be bullfighters hacienda, Damien is once again making people play bull fight with that lame ass fake bull. What am I not getting about this? I mean this looks like something you would do with a six year old, that you were grooming to grow up and be a matador. I mean by this age should Damien be practicing with a least calves?
Gabi arrives in the black coach of doom. She is there to thank Damien for saving her life from the scary black hole she fell in the other night. Really millions of people die yearly when they fall in a hole in their own back yard in a warm climate. Damien kisses her hand, I’m sure that forced Gabi to stifle a squirm of womanly pleasure. They go into the house to talk.

Back at the village, Juan is continuing to vaccinate ever increasing lines of natives. I believe this scene was actually filmed in Florida at an early voting location. They told them they could get free Flu shots during the five hour wait. Juan’s next victim, oops patient is a small baby girl. Hija, mi Hija. Silvester & other patients at the free clinic/polling station start staring at Juan. Of course I assume they are used to his non- sensical babbling, seizures and other socially awkward behaviors. Silvester asks if Juan has a daughter? Did I say I had a daughter? Yes Juan is indeed an idiot & he is indeed giving people injections.

Now Gabi & Damien are having some wine, it is muy rico. Yes it is special wine from Chile, it is “Boone’s Farm Chile”, Gabi is telling Damien thanks again for saving my worthless bitch life. She starts in how educated and so on so forth Damien is. Damien says he is interested in Sofie the flawless. Gabi seems to be surprised. She mentions Juan, and Damien says he knows all about Juan. Gabi starts trashing Juan and Damien says he has only heard good things about Juan from the people of Puelbo. Then Gabi starts trashing the other two Reyes RatBastard brothers. Demian says they have been quite decent with him and quite honorable. Damien goes on to say he loves Sofie and would like to marry her. Gabi has a smug on her face.
--My husband says she wants to ride the Damien train—as in “I love doin Sofie seconds.”

Witch Doctor guy is just standing around when Porn Jefe wanders up spewing puke he begs for help and Witch doctor tells him to go see the real Babe Doc, cause Witch dude can’t help him.
--PSA never cop a feel off a plague victim—porn jefe was all over fevered Doc last night.

Okay now Sofie is in town talking to a Nun at the convent, you know the convent these annoying sisters run off to every time Ma gets too pissed or the Reyes boyz are mean. Sofie tells the Nun that she has been to every orphanage in a fifty kilometer range or in easier to visualize words, she has been to every orphanage within the bubble dome that encloses Mexidoom from the rest of the world. “Well isn’t that special”, says the Nun. The Nun in a here is a ginormus clue moment states, we got in three girls and two boys just about then. Sofie’s eyes widen to a frightening state, “Three girls right here, right here in my own pueblo”?
The Nun realizes that she must speak slowly and perhaps actually draw a simple picture of stick children answers, “Yes and two boys”.

---Okay viewers you know by the way this is being set up—we now have our answer—

Pablo is making a pillowcase of goods to take on a journey in search of Juan, he will find Juan. He leaves a note on the counter for his two remaining Padres & Quintana. Our young “Hucko El Fino” is taking the burro, Mariachi (who appears in normal dress) and setting off on his big adventure.

The two Padres are working the fields, they are lamenting not having enough money to pay the mortgage and may lose their hacienda. Is the entire cast of Pueblo that the boys are allowing to live in the hacienda contributing nothing? Anyway Demian rides up and tells the boys that he loves Sofie and will marry her if he can. Basically he is a nice guy that likes and respects them and no hard feelings. They all shake hands.

In a modern day miracle of medicine; Babe Doc is totally recovered, so recovered in fact she is perky, pretty and sitting down to a big heaping helping of lunch with Pa Nestor. Pa is so proud of her, the work she is doing, blah blah blah. She confesses she has fallen in love. Reeeeaaaallllllyyyy? Pa queries, “Another doctor who works here too?” No a ranchero, who has amnesia and no idea who he is, but he is totally awesome & wears tiny black bikinis & guess what Pa, I’ve done everything, but slip him a ruffie and he respects me so much that we sleep next to each other each and every night and we still haven’t danced the horizontal mambo. Jeez, Pa looks thrilled, so glad he sent her to medical school.
Really she didn’t give that many details, but keeping with Full Disclosure I thought Pa should know.
Does he love you?
Babe bats her eyes and continues with Juan’s amnesia & general lack of normal cognitive thinking, no commitment has really been made.

Porn Jefe wanders in during lunch and continues to spew puke everywhere. He lurches and falls to the floor. Pa announce that Porn is dead. I beg to differ, no matter what you do, like racism, classism there will always be pornism. Oh well. Jeez are these “Medical Greats” not concerned that this guy just spewed either virus filled or bacteria filled liters of infection everywhere?

Okay now over to the orphanage Sofie spots the three girl orphans, you can tell by the sidewise looks from the Nuns, that one of these three is indeed lil Maria Guadalupe. For the love of Gawd, how much time has actually passed, these girls are huge, I mean I don’t have any kids but aren’t they like six to nine months old at least? I mean their heads aren’t flopping around or anything (unlike their father). Seriously Sofie imagine if you would have actually strolled on over to the orphanage on one of you nightly jaunts. Oh yeah I forgot the Virgincita didn’t literally climb down from the alter and take you by your pale wan hand and lead you over there. Sofie knows that one of the three is indeed her daughter. The Nun is giving her the “Ya think?” look.

Quintana arrives home from a day of motorcycling, she finds Pablito’s note. She reads it and runs out of the house. Now, we the audience don’t know what the note said. I myself, believe it said, “I am sick and tired of that lame ass sanctimonious bitch, you loser fathers stuck me with as a so called mother. I will prove her wrong about my mentally challenged father or die trying.”

To make a long story short..Quintana running finds Damien, she tells him that Pablito is run off to find Juan. Damien takes off to find him.

Back at the orphanage Sofie can’t decide which one is her kid. Oh Sofie just take which ever one seems the most inclined to actually allow you to dress her in Gawd awful little floor length prairie dresses that match yours exactly. Ought-Oh here comes the slimy Dr. Gomez. He looks Sofie in the eye and asks what she is doing there. Sofie asks where did these girls come from? Dr. Gomez looks guilty as hell, he tells her that they came from different ranches, they were unwanted. Sofie stares at him, she knows he is lying.

Pablo is trying to cross a very rickity bridge, he is trying to force the burro. A plank breaks an Pablito is dangling, screaming for help. Demian rides up and saves Pablito. Pablito hugs him. Oscar and Franco arrive as the cart part falls over the edge. Pablo tells the boys that Demian saved Burro, Marachi & Pablo. The Reyes boys hug their boy. They are grateful to Demian. Yes Juan, people are starting to realize Demian really is a lot better to have around than you are. OMG what if he bakes too?

Now Fer is talking to Dr Gomez. Gomez tells Fer that Sofie doesn’t know anything, but he wants to alert Fer that she is asking questions. Gomez says he wants to be left out of it, should the truth come out.

Gabi is now visiting the kids, she is paying for the three, she wants them to have anything they want.

---Okay now we know for sure, one of these kids is Sofies---Get the ruffles ready

Juan comes back in the hut, Dr. Nestor comes in behind him. Juan in his usual socially unacceptable manner asks “Who are you?” Dr. Nestor says he is Babe Doc’s Pa. Juan says that Juan doesn’t know who he is. (meaning Juan). Dr. Nestor says “I know who you are, you are Juan Reyes.”

The End

Okay this leads me to ask—did they not give Juan a name? Like Juan Doe? I mean did people just call him “Hey you?”

Tomorrow---
Blah blah blah
Sofie is in the church and apparently the Virgincita has totally had it with Sofie cause Juan appears at the back of the room and Sofie turns to see Juan in his still sparkling white pajamas.

At last At last…the rain has come and we are at the end of The Long Hot Summer.

Labels: Fuego