Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fuego, 10/21, Tues. #122 - From the Book of the Not So Dead


Santa, I have been a very good girl this year and I want two pairs of the white pants that repel mud, that's really all I want for Christmas except for Sofia's tears to dry up for once. Oh, you're not Santa? Well that's a shame, I had a longer list. Would you mind forwarding this to Santa?

At Nervous Crises R Us Hacienda, we get a repeat of threats and counter threats about the Monster Mom with Feo, Damian and Sofia; while off in the other side of the mirror aka in the deep jungle, Doctora HotHips wonders what more indiscretions and violations of her Hippocratic oath it will take to keep Juan ignorant and stupid. Oh wait, he's already stupid so just ignorant of his identity will suit her.

At the Evil Eyes R US Medical Clinic, the herbal self flagellations don't seems to be working today on the Brujo. He threatens the frightened parents that if they mention the doomed Doctora's name again, the baby will suffer.

Doctora Hot thinks the Juan's trapping was just the misfortune of his stepping into a trap met to provide protein for a great dinner. Juan is sure the animal trap was set just for him.

As he strides down the stairs toward the door, Dr. Matasanos threatens Sofia that she is meddling with her mother who only has a nervous condition which will be fine in the morning given the two mickeys he slipped her. Sofia insists that she will call the cardiologist her mother has been seeing to get a second opinion of what is really happening to her mother . Damien tries interfere, Sofia heads out to get help from Rosendo in fetching the cardiologist who apparently doesn't have a phone either, and Damian and Feo square off with the echoing, I never threaten in vain. NeverrrrrrrrrJamasjamasjamas. Damian watches, peering around a door as Feo threatens Doctor Matasanos not to be too helpful to Gabriela and finally someone hears all of Feo's threat. Watch this come back to nettle Feo.

Juan avers, I don't know who I am. He asks Doctora about her family. She lost her mother young and her father was wonderful always laughing, he is a doctor like her. Dad dedicated all his life to her making her his princess. She doesn't know what happened, it all changed and Dad wasn't her supporter any longer. He's gone?? asks the innocent Juan who hugs the distraught Doctora.

Feo replays the damning cobarde labeling from Damian and promises himself revenge. The Cardi doctor magically appears with Rosendo in the blink of an advertisement while Damian and Sofia cuddle on the love seat waiting for him. Doctor Cardi wants to know who Sofia is, when Sofia answers, her daughter, he pounces with, do you know that you and her other daughters are the main cause of her illness and angst? Feo moves in to show the good doctor up to his wife, smiling smugly. Juan tells the doctora how much he likes her and...

Doctor Cardi declares that Gabi's pressure is dangerously high she could have an embolism at any moment. Don't aggravate her, you could kill her, he says to an abashed Sarita. Feo smirks again. See, See!

Doctora tells Juan, you don't respond to my kiss but you don't reject me. If I don't recover my memory, it would be easy to love you in the end but now If I don't respond to you, if i don't feel comfortable, I need to move on without your reproaches. Doctora is sure he will come to love her.

Doctor Cardi says, to Sofia that if she is so concerned for her mother, why do Gabi's daughters make their mother suffer so. Clearly he is playing the tape somewhere in the back of his head of Gabriela sitting in his office insisting that all her health problems are caused by her disobedient daughters. Damian defends Sofia, saying if the Dr knew her devotion he would never say such things. Dr Cardi, says you are trouble like my daughter is trouble. Sofia asks him if he always supports his daughter or only judges and condemns her. Dr. Cardi (Dad of HotLips) frowns in doubt.
**********
Things happened and now I don't see Leonora (aka Dr. Hotlips or Hothips). Sofia rejoins with, but she is the most valuable thing you have. Do you want your daughter to life in your shadow? Can't you look for her and tell her you are proud of her Doctor Cardi frowns a lot. Sofia gets back to her favorite subject. I suffer so from the evil of a man who took my daughter from me for his egotism like yours. Unlike poor me, you have the luck to be able to seek and find your daughter What if yk\ou had her stolen for all your life? Dr. Cardi is suddenly moved by Sofia's wonderful words. She shows Dr. Cardi the picture of Juan on the wanted poster and when he wants to know who is this big hunk of a man (actually I would ask that). The next morning the Dr. either still at the Hacienda or coming back again, but it is now light. He says thanks to Slofia for her wisdom and words. She repeats her little lecture that he can't lose his daughter for pride and arrogance (soberbia) and needs to seek her.

Silvestre tells Capricho and Juan about seeing the man searching for his brother (Juan's, we aren't sure where Caprichio's brother is.) Why didn't you tell me? whines Juan. Because Hotlips said not to, admits Silvestre. Juan says I might have a brother, what the f... (Just Kidding)

Sofia is once again in the office of the commissary, we don't know which town, and he suggests maybe she should look in all the orphanages. Do you realize how many of them there are. Can you give me a complete list of every orphanage? He looks surprised, there are so many do you plan to look in all of them? (You know the answer to this). As light dawns and the choir chants heavenly, Enya-like music, Sofia suddenly changes her quest to look for all the orphans in all the orphanages in the whole world. She gets hugs from all the cute orphans. Lookng at ones that couldn't be the right age doesn't seem to keep the bells from ringing in her head (or in my head for that matter). An orphanage worker kindly suggests that none of these little tykes are the right age, duh, nor did they arrive in a blue blanket. They are so sorry they can't help her but will do everything they can to help her as they can. They are so, so sorry they repeat these same lines twice. (So you can just read them twice if you like while I get a glass of water.)
********************

Paddy Tad comes into the bakery to greet the boyz, insists on grabbing the burning hot bread and shoving it in his mouth. Franco opines that It might not be as good as Juan's yet but they continue the fight. Paddy Tad wants their help in a religious matter, Oscar admits that they don't have much money, but asks how can they help while they wait for Juan. Paddy Tad thinks that so much time has passed that it is time to have a mass to pray for Juan's soul that needs to find rest. Franco and Oscar insist he is NOT dead so doesn't need such a mass. Paddy Tad, crying or sucking on his burned lips, tries to reason that Juan would come back if her were alive so he must be dead. He insists that he loves Juan and would not dare suggest this if he weren't worried for the eternal well being of Juan's soul. However painful, they need to accept reality. The boyz and the muzic get really forlorn and sad here. May God be with you and keep you and console y ou. He says as he sweeps out with bread dust on his black robes.

Juan is plenty peeved about why the Doctora hid the facts on the strange man looking for him or for his brother. He yells for her to answer him!!
**********

Juan feels strange while berating the Doctora. sits down suddenly, she drops instantly to the bed at his side and she feels his forehead although looks like that isn't what she wants to feel.

In the sacred cave the altar of Libia is lit and bedecked with new flowers like the wall of a Beverly HIlls florist, Oscar and Franco have lit so many new candles and they cry in their best black shirts as they seem to accept that the earth they are digging and the cross they have constructed are going to help Juan's soul find rest. Perhaps Juan and the baby are with our parents and Libia now forever.

We switch to a Mass scene with Paddy Tad encouraging the congregation to remember the wonderful Juan as we see flashbacks of his good deeds with all the towns people praying for Juan. Neither the sisters Elizondo nor the brothers Reyes are there. Paddy Tad carries on the formal church Mass while in the cave, Oscar feels fear that they won't be able to keep the promises that Juan made to their mother. They have placed the new cross for Juan and a tiny one with a doll for the baby daughter. Sofia screams her way into the cave saying they have no right! What they do about their brother is their business, but her daughter is not dead. In fact Juan is not dead, she feels it. She touches the doll they have lain on the soil then grabs and clutches the baby cross and the doll. My daughter Maria Guadelupe is not dead. I know she is alive and off comes anoather liter or two of tears. The brothers hug the inconsolable Sofia even though she doesn't actually deserve it since she continues condemning and blaming their brother.

Doctora offers Juan a drink of something tasty and he wants to know why she lied to hide things from him when Oscar came to look for him. She glibly says, to protect him from harm. She launches off on herself quite like Sofia, that she didn't hope to love anyone but here he is and I know you love me and if i just keep you here in the dark you will forget all about lookling for who you are and will stay with me. She seals the deal with kisses that Juan finally cannot resist. and says mi niña a few times. And finally the Doctora admits that this doesn't exactly hit any of her g-spots. She whines about this "mi niña" being really a turn off and Juan again demands to know why she has kept him in the dark.
He wants to know what else she knows about him that she is hiding . She sullenly admits he has also called out Franco, Oscar, Libia, and Mi Nina and talks in his delirium about the woman he loves. SO, he demands, I do love someone , I do have a family. Why are you not wanting me to find my past?
**********

The cave, Sofia stamps her little feet and says three times, be clear, my hija is not dead she is alive and Juan is a live, my heart tells me Juan and my hija are alive, are alive, are alive. She takes the dolly and the baby cross and goes out. Oscar and Franco say what are we waiting, for he isn't dead. They dig up the doo rag or apron or white pants that show no dirt stains, and rip out the cross and regret the funeral.

The woman whose baby has been cursed, runs up to Silvestre and says her daughter is dying dying. He looks at the baby's lifeless form and declares that they need to find the Doctora. Old nasty and the Brujo are foiled again, holding their useless herbal wands. What if the Doctora saves this sick baby? What are they going to do about us? That baby might live, we better do something or this situation is fried.

Drdaddy/Dr. Cardi looks at the picture on his desk as he rehears Sofia telling him he should be proud of his daughter. He should be trying to find her to keep her in his life . He cries and says he will listen to Sofia, the crying one, and look for his daughter Leonora.

Silvestre and Juan discuss the sick baby and Juan says they have to help the Doctora vaccinate everyone.

Gabriela is awake and boy is she sizzling mad! (What? you expected gratitude?) Were you trying to kill me, she barks in a rare moment of realization. He excuses the well accident as the ineptitude of Rosenda and the Hacienda boys. Here comes Dr. Cardi to see her. How are you? Feo, expecting boring whines leaves. My family is involved in trying to kill me. I am not sure whom you mean by family but it is not your daughters who are fault for what is making you sick.

Sofia finds a travel agent booth to looks for Juan in a market place where she personally interviews all of the inhabitants of this large market turning slowly in circles looking for her daughter. She finds a peaceful shrine and stops to pray. A concerned man comes around the corner to say, we didn't lie to you or trick you. Sofia snaps, I feel like you are all tricking me and hiding and protecting him. The patient man assures her the entire market shares her pain. She sinks to the floor to pray for help from the Virgin.

Next: An interminable continuation of crying but, Caprichio gets an idea!

Labels:


Comments:
Dear Santa, I would like one of Rosario's stage costumes and one of Eva's shawls this Christmas. I would also appreciate a piece of Crabby's ego and some of Doctor Hot's amazing persistence. Also, a surprise from the Crap From Afar Shoppe might be fun. And I'd like to see Mighty Joe Juan sporting a big red bow under my tree. Thanking you in advance. And thank you , Cheryl for the recrap. [p.s. I think that everyone should post a Christmas wish list. Who knows...Santa just might be reading the messages at this site.]
 

Thanks for the recrap, Cheryl. Yet another filler episode. Yawn.

Dear Santa, That red bow is the only thing I-Juan-a-Brain is supposed to be sporting when you deliver that gift to susanlynn.
And Santa, I want one of Rosario's stage outfits, too, and the boobage to fill it.

Father Bouffy didn't seem to be affected by eating the hot bread right out of the oven. The man must have real divine forces on his side. My tongue would be blistered. Yikes.

Sofía's microphone must have been out in that cave/burial scene. I thought it might be a nuevo sound technique until the boys' voices were normal.

HOW many filler masses have we had???

I watched in real time, and engaged the "Mute" button often.

doris
 

Gracias, Cheryl, you poor suffering woman. LOL! What a horrible Slofia-ridden episode. I'm writing, writing, writing like a lunatic, and got behind on FUEGO, but I'm almost caught up. Only Monday and this one to go. Padre help me through them.

Shriveled Porn Dude looks uglier and uglier every time I see him! That took some suspension of belief a few days ago, him being able to hold Babe Dra. down for a molesting. Honestly. The man doesn't look like he has enough strength to hold down a flea.

I'm still fast-forwarding EVERYTHING Sofia (sorry Damien, you are a cutie, but ain't enough hot in the world to make me watch even your scenes with her these days).

Mean Mad Feo gets more and more entertaining. And that smirk! What a jerk.

...she (Dra.) drops instantly to the bed at his side (Juan) and she feels his forehead although looks like that isn't what she wants to feel. ROFL! Well, yeah. :)

Crap From Afar Shoppe. LOLOLOL

Capricho looks more and more magnificent every time I see him. Like I've said before, if only I were a mare in Mexico... You know things are bad when, out of all the plots and subplots going on, your only reason for watching this telenovela is EY and his horse nekkid.

Have a wonderful week, everyone. Back to the grindstone for me...

Oh, almost forgot. Dear Kris Kringle, I've been sort of good this year. I want--no, I demand Crabzilla's SUV, Oscar's dimples, and a new swimming hole in my yard with Capricho beside it and Mighty Juan in it. Ole!
 

Good morning Cheryl...thanks for bringing you fine writing skills to this very unworthy tele. I saw only a small portion of it last night and found myself comparing lips. Feo's and Damian's. Feo's are thin, dry and ugly,..naturally. Damian has a very nice lower lip and I spent a great deal of time thinking about it. Very nibble-worthy. Yep, that's about all the thinking Fuego generated last night. Thanks for dealing with all the rest!
 

Good morning Cheryl. That was an outstanding recap.

I think we should get some of those white pants. Maybe he uses Tide with extra stain removing bleach or maybe they are made of teflon. I am disappointed that we have not had a bathing/swimming scene with Demian yet.

Why do they always have to make Juan so retarded? (And I mean no disrespect to anyone who has a father, mother, son, daughter, anut, uncle, sister, brother or cousin once removed on their mother's side living or dead who is mentally challenged. I will use the R-word from now on so as not to offend anyone.) Juan either needs to get on Capricho who is not R-word and could find his way home or get on the short bus assuming there is one out in the rain forest.

If they would just bottle all the tears that everyone in Brigadoon sheds, then there would be no water problem and they wouldn't need the ojo de agua! I'm just saying...
 

Terrific wake up call, Cheryl! Thanks!

Dear Santy: I want a striped beach towel like Witch Doc wears around his scrawny neck all the time. 'Course Juan should be wearing it and ready to take a dunk in his birthday suit.

Stephe/Susanlynn/Doris: LOLOL! que creativity!
 

Thanks, Cheryl, for recrapping in your usual style, with the intelligence & wit that we viewers would KILL for in just one episode of FELs.

[editorial aside: Last night I was ogling our former Vasco from Pasion in Cuidado con el Angel & I found myself pondering the plethora of hotties we had in Pasion. Now I ask all of my compadres, isn't it too much to ask of us, to follow up Pasion with a mess like FELs? We now find ourselves ogling HORSES because in this craparific show, they not only have beauty but brains??? I mean, c'mon! Oh, & I noticed that someone posted my "ogling belongs in the Olympics" comment on the sidebar. Can I now add to my resume that I'm a published author?]

Back to the non-action:

So Dra. Do-Me finally gets I-Juan-a-_____ all horned up & she says no...WTF???? There's a certain term that men use when women pull this sh!t but since "ass" offends some, I don't dare repeat the term here. Yeah, not a fan of the good doctora. She belongs in the jungle 'cause she wouldn't last a day in a normal hospital.

Santa: all I want for Christmas is Fernando Colunga & Caprichio, a nice long trail that runs along the ocean, with a tall, cool margarita waiting at the end of our ride.

Maggarita
:-)
 

Cheryl: Thank you for the recap and welcome back again and again.

I've thought of Juan in the jungle with memory loss quite a lot. The best solution I could come up with to bring him back to reality would be to have a big coconut fall and land on his head. I think that would be the trauma that would bring him back to his other real world.

Sofia, I am a fan of yours - but only because I can understand what you are saying - not because of why you are saying it. Right now you've blamed Juan for stealiing your daughter and said mi nina so many times you are the proverbial broken record. Gee, why not look at the source of most evil that you know about - Feo the beast.

Take a minute off from your orphanage wandering and get a hair cut, too.
 

I want to say thank you to you, Cheryl and all the recappers.
I would love Santa to give me legs like Rosario and maybe a boyfriend that looks like Oscar. I know EY is a darling but Juan is such a doofus that it will be awhile before I see EY in any other light.mhm
 

I want Rosario's hair. And a staff of beauticians to take care of it.
 

Thanks for the recap Cheryl and encouraging us to start our list for Santa now. The comments have been hilarious and I hope each and every one of you gets what s/he wants.

Right now I want a few telenovios to get me through what forecasters are saying will be a cold winter. With that said, I want Fernando C., Jamie C., EY (I'm pretending he's an intelligent doctor) and William Levy (I didn't think much of him in Pasion but in Cuidado I just love him and he's playing a doctor). I could pick three more to fill out the week and will work on this as my homework assignment.
 

Maggarita - and let's not forget that I am ogling the dark, black, rich soil in Mexidoom.

Yep. Horses and dirt. This is what FELS has come to.

Ack.

doris
 

I want about 5 of those shirts the Reyes brothers wear, plus a date with Sarita.
 

Hi everyone, I was away for a few days. Went to VA to see my Aunt who just turned 102 years old.

Anyway , I see hardly anything has changed. The dumb get dumber and the smart (Capricho) get smarter.

Santa, I would like a dozen loaves of Reyes bread so that I can feed the birds in the winter.

Is Capricho finally bringing Juan home tonight?
 

Thanks for the recap...
A road not taken...
Yep we saw the same scenerio in DA when EY was panting over the hawt doc (rather sniffing all over)..that close to the deed, the lady after wanting it so bad, backs away & he never tries again. Babe Doc, just missed any chance to nail EY. It will not happen again.

I too am in total Tard agreement (no disrepect)..but the EY roles are so bad..so very bad. At least in these shows by this producer Cesar Evora comes across as a complete idiot, but not a tard. That whole befuddled way of speaking and the wide eyes, I'm sorry that may be an acting technique, but it just screams SLOW...which is fine if that is the image you want for the character..otherwise not so much.
 

A date with Sarita? Really?

I'd recommend that you bring a book.
 

Maggarita...yes, you are definitely a published author. Hundreds of people have read that quote and many more will in the future. You scored early!

Now Julie, you know Hombre de Misterio has a plan. No book is needed. He's an experienced hombre and will put our poor dumb unshaven Franco in the shade.
 

The book is for Hombre to read while Sarita makes up her mind.
 

Thanks for all the kind comments. It would be horrible to be alone in all this insanity and idiocy. At least there is a stalwart community still in tact to rag on this with the recappers each night.

I am glad I induced so many to get a head start on their Christmas wish lists. I didn't even start on the telenovios I want placed decoratively around the fireplace. Gee, I only have a pellet stove so lets skip that photo op and move this scene straight to the master bedroom where I have no master ensconced so Willa and I are ready to interview!
 

Did they show previews for tonight? I don't think my dvr caught all of it. Of course, maybe I'm better off not knowing.
 

All I want for Christmas is for FELS to be over by Christmas and Fernando Colunga's next effort replacing this stupidfest.
 

what a great recap! I'm trying to get adjusted to the fact that I have to recap on Friday this week. If we're wishing, I wish my night has long silent scenes of Juan riding his excellent horse along a beach somewhere.
 

Dear Santa, please kick out the Elizondo clan from Hacienda Augustin and put in a pool so E Y, Capricho, Mr. Ed, Donkey, Mariachi and I can lounge around with a pitcher of margaritas. Thanks for a great recap as I had to miss this episode (lucky me as it seems it featured a lot of endless Sofia tears) G in CA
 

Sorry, Stephe, you had the same idea...E Y, pool, Capricho.
 

connie...
I believe the previews must be
SoFie cries, Sofie prays, & I pray Sofie stops crying.

Since this is still going on in Mexico..it will probably end here sometime during the 2012 election cycle.

Ya know what...this is so grime, that I am now all about Franco. I have given up on the dream of ever being able to take Juan out in public. Okay maybe if I was totally wasted, but I know me & I would start snarking on him. He is just too easy a target. Franco however has a certain, savior-faire..Hey having no idea how to spell said word (had to look it up on french phrases) WOW had no idea sacre bleu literally meant Holy Blue referring to Mary's Blue Garment. Live and Learn
 

connie...
I believe the previews must be
SoFie cries, Sofie prays, & I pray Sofie stops crying.

Since this is still going on in Mexico..it will probably end here sometime during the 2012 election cycle.

Ya know what...this is so grime, that I am now all about Franco. I have given up on the dream of ever being able to take Juan out in public. Okay maybe if I was totally wasted, but I know me & I would start snarking on him. He is just too easy a target. Franco however has a certain, savior-faire..Hey having no idea how to spell said word (had to look it up on french phrases) WOW had no idea sacre bleu literally meant Holy Blue referring to Mary's Blue Garment. Live and Learn
 

Beckster, I have moved on to Franco also just because he seems to be all about having a good time! Even when Sarita is freaking out he just laughs at her. At least one person smiles on this show!
 

If Sofia was on better terms with the Reyes boys, she could just stand in their field to serve as scarecrow and irrigator.
 

Wow, I love the idea of using Sofia as field irrigation. Hope she doesn't drown the plants!!
 

Cheryl: greetings and thanks for a whopper recap.
My Christmas list: I want hacienda San Augustin. I want a staff to clean my floors so never again must I deal with hairballs, kitty litter or projectile vomit.
By the way, does anyone wonder what the heck is the lure of Las Barrancas that makes it so alluring to Porn Dude? Why would you want to take over/be in charge of such a tiny, hole-in-the-wall out of the way place? Why?
"Creemelo", I'd be wanting out of there!
 

"Why would you want to take over/be in charge of such a tiny, hole-in-the-wall out of the way place? Why?"

I think he works for the government or some other organization, and his bosses probably had their reasons for sending him here. Like as a punishment.

Also, he probably couldn't manage a more sophisticated village.
 

Nifty new format!! --If I were Oscar and Franco I would not continue to be so polite. Sofia's persistant and frenzied accusations are getting on my last nerve. Damian is blinded by his lower brain to all of this and has now taken sides against the Reyes' and so now he's also getting on that same last nerve of mine. He's given up a perfectly beneficial business deal for their pastures all because he's as hot to trot with sulking psycho Sofia as those stallions of his are for those mares. BTW, anybody notice how Sofia is beginning to sound as much like that hysterical shrew of a mother of hers?
 

Hey, there doesn't seem to be a delete option, though..........
 

Post a Comment



<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older

© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.

Protected by Copyscape Online Plagiarism Finder