Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Fuego, 11/11/2008 - If It's Tuesday It Must Be My Night In The Barrel -OR- When Is A Root Most Like A Clinging Vine
It may be a little known fact that I grew up in Wyoming where barrel jokes and sheep jokes are much more frequent than ass jokes and certainly more fun than troll laden fairy tales.
Sofia tells her sisters of her anger, fury, jealousy at seeing Root near Juan Reyes. Flash to a bit of self flagellation with the lip gloss pen on said vixen. For some reason she hates me and I believe she is capable of doing me harm [she is doing it for us all Sof dear.] She may try to separate me from Juan. [Wasn't that always a fear of good girls in high schools everywhere, that those saucy flirts would rub up against the hormonal teenboyz and take them away. Forget that these folks are way, way into their 40's, isn't this really similar?]
Once again Quintina is giving the hens an English lesson, what a gentle teacher, while Root rides up and demands that Quintina fetch the BoyZ ReyeZ for her. No deal, Q tells her to get lost. She's ready to fight this new hussy off but, Juan arrives seeing the happy scene. The easy banter begins with Root chiding Juan that he doesn't keep his wild beasts muzzled (tus fieras sin bozal)
What are you doing in this property. It is mine, As she pats Juan down all around she tells him he took it away from her deserving parents.
Abuelo keeps his accounts in the big journal: now what could Root be after. She believes the Reyes took away HER hacienda. Root moves in for a smooch but rigid Juan resists while at last, the brothers show up, she continues to taunt the boys about their dirty boots and her getting her hacienda back as she uses Juan for a quick pole dance She is going to have fun with Juan, his horse and his silly brothers. She does have a fine wardrobe of leather, love that red. Q mocks the pole dancer and Root likes his horse. Q warns him not to lose either his horse or his hacienda or his head (oops, too late for that)
Sofia pours out her fears about Root, the odio of it all!, She worries about keeping Eva in the dark but Abuelo says wait so Root won't do a different pole dance on Eva's head.
Eva looks her usual puzzled at life in general and why are the girlz grilling her. What if she saw anything strange, saw the back of Root not her face. The sisters demure in clearing anything up for Eva or for themselves.
Abuelo talks to Grabbiela (Grabby.) She warns him if he is returning to the big house against her advice and wishes, not to meddle in her affairs, he demands the right to go on protecting his granddaughters. Grabby insists he is always against her and worried about her. As if she would never think of harming her daughters. Abuelo poses the question of the hour: what will Root do when she realizes Grabby grabbed her from Eva and sold her to the Uribes just to buy more lands? Grabby postures that Root will be grateful that she was given a rich life and not downtrodden being a maid's daughter. Abuelo adds, she may expect upon learning that she is an Elizondo that she wants her share of the inheritance. Grabby looks as though she is hatching a new plot.
**********************
Grabby insists she will know just what to do when the moments arrives. Meanwhile she berates abuelo with his little soldiers, costumes, maps. How ridiculous. Just the kind of talk any older person longs for to help boost their self esteem.
Back at the Sofia and Root show down the red leather clad pole dancer pounces on the red haired weakling and rubs in the illicit kiss with Juan that she witnessed, that kiss, that kiss Sofia says not only a kiss but a daughter. Out of wedlock baby making! Bastarda? Root reacts in mock horror at the ignominy of it all.
Juan has a sweet presentation of dolls for the three precious, but huge one year old babies. He has faith that he will recover his child the madresuperior wishes him luck.
Root has some spitting fit over the sound drowning fountain as she gripes about some childhood memory of some damage caused by Sofia. Sofia maybe remembers it but shows a bit of spitefulness herself as she acknowledges that Root has turned her life to the ugly side, her life with bitterness and spite for the rest of her life and believe it, Sofia knows how to smite someone with this curse. Root is just lucky Sofia didn't throw double snake eyes and condemn her to a life of tears like she has led through most of this story.
Juan wants to see the papers of the three babies that would have to be presented when they arrived. He assures the madresuper that he truly feels that one of these girls is his. She insists they are orphans, just poor orphans, he keeps saying I need to see those papers until we until we reach guitar fade.
******************
The papers have birth dates, vaccines records but not much else. So Juan then says, who brought them? Oh, Dr. (Matasanos) Gomez. Well let's talk to him! Madresuper thinks Juan needs to hope for a miracle instead of wasting himself on this fruitless thinking.
Over at his office, Dr. Gomez insists he has no obligation to explain anything to Juan. Are you threatening me? The three babies came when my daughter disappeared, on or near the same day. Too much coincidence here. How did these three appear and what happened to their families? Dr. Gomez gives the lame detail that of the three parents, two died in child birth and the third mother soon after died in an accident. Oh so they came at the same time? Juan demands. Dr. Gomez slimes his seat and dreams up that it took a long time to get them here from different ranches. okay. okay , not okay, Juan plows through this confusing array of bull. Dr. G continues to look more unsure, I am innocent. Innocent Dr. G says he is sorry Juan is so crazy. Juan tells him if he finds out Dr. G is involved in hiding his daughter, he will kill him. Dr. G doesn't like this at all and needs to talk to Grabby.
Grabby is hearing that Juan came to the orphanage to see the babies and has been asking about the 3 girls. and now he went to see Dr. G to find out about the girls' arrival. Grabby starts a campaign to condemn Juan as violent and dangerous that the madresuper must never let Juan near them again. When madresuper continues to say Juan and Sofia and she have given these babies so much support, it is so wonderful. Grabby threatens to pull her financial support as she hisses, then what will you do? Madresuper is no fool she will be poor like they have been so often, somehow they will get what they most need. Grabby silently gripes to herself: Sofia and Juan are everyday closer to the truth. She needs to never see them again or Juan must not ever come again, I can't figure out which.
Juan is sitting with abuelo and Rosendo talking about how to get abuelo 's advice. Rosendo will carry a message between them. He then call Juan, compadre, nice grin from Juan, this may be helpful later. Abuelo advises Juan not to tell Sofia of his suspicions that he knows where the baby is until he is very sure.
Berater-in-chief Grabby is chewing out quivering old Dr. G that he must get Juan off the track and she has paid him sooooo much money, he better do what she says. Grabby's old girlfriends go by in officious giggles. Dr. G is very nervous. Dr. G wants to know why Fernando didn't have a grand plan for getting the real baby daughter away. She says he is in Puebla and she doesn't know when he will come back. She avers that she would like to know when he comes back and suddenly so would the mutton chop sheriff who wants Feo too for questions about his fingerprints found on the murder scene of Rocio and Armando. Grabby smiles, she has one less problem if Feo is gone. Dr. G is still scared and Grabby lost in thought approaches the SUV she remembers her Dad's words that she could be Feo's next victim. But this black widow has a few more aces up her sleeve.
**********
Oh mai gawd we haven't seen Juan take a bucket bath in ever so long and Root has apparently never rubbed her black leather gloves and red leather coat against a bucket washed hunk-o-man. She grabs a feel or two and tells Juan no one is going to stop her. Juan insists that he is a one woman man and that is Sofia the sufferer. She does a pole dance step that is pure porn sexy against Juan-pole and he grabs her then slides her away. She pulls the machete on him telling him she will be his whether he likes it or not. Red coat is leaving and Juan spits once her back is turned. We don't see the bottom of the pole.
Madresuper tells Sofia that Juan has had a presentiment but she needs to see Juan to find out what it is. Sofia looks surprised that Juan had something as complex as a presentiment.
Sofia goes to the lawyer to disinherit Feo and name a new one.
Juan is in the field reliving the pole dance scene all the while swearing fealty to Sofia.
Grabby smiles her wicked smile over how surprised Feo will be to be disinherited and the daughters and abuelo too. And your little dog too (oops wrong story). They will all be surprised when they learn who will be the heir.
Juan continues working the pitiful field and just as he gets his fealty back in it's proper place, Sofia shows up to ask about the presentiment that madresuper has told her of. Does it have something to do with our daughter? Yes, he grins. Tell me now, tell me now, tell me now. I will tell you when I put our daughter in your own hands. They walk off down the path to the autograph tree and smarter than the people, Capricio runs ahead of them, just in time to miss the sudden shower that washes away evidence of Sofia's permanently tear stained face and Juan's chest streaks from the bucket bath.
**********
Eva tells Padre Tadeo that she will leave the village immediately she is so inspired by the tireless search of Juan and Sofia she vows to continue the search for her own daughter. Paddy Tad tells her to wait here she doesn't know when she will receive a surprise. He wants her to have patience. Speak plainly Pappy Tad, Yeah spit it out dude! Wait a little more time (after 25-44 years, what's a few more days) She agrees to wait, in the rain she runs into Root by the noisy fountain and knows immediately that this is Root, Root, my child. Said child goes through her don't touch me routine that she uses for everyone but muscle boyz.
Juan and Sofia get back to the magic shed they almost mated in all those many years ago. Wow, the hay is still just the same, no glass in the windows to ruin the atmosphere. Juan gets her to sit down while he fetches something or other. Sofia, never one to sit in a safe place, starts to wander. Juan sneaks around her and she just doesn't see his amazing bulk as he returns to place fire wood, magically dry. She doesn't see the chickens or doves hidden in the hay and he jumps out so they have a hay fight kind of like our old pillow fights but they didn't use the chicken so it is straw not feathers. The rain almost drowns out the I love you forever phrases and they get to kiss as he acts like the sad black dress really turns him on more than the tight red coat. Another good night for the Juan-o-philes.
And here for Connie and other discerning readers, the word of the night: fieras sin bozal = wild beasts without muzzle
Next, well, folks as you guessed, chief red coat isn't having it! And it is over to you dear Nickster, take it away, I'm out of here!
Labels: Fuego
I know you all have been feeling "shock and awe" at how bad this show has been lately but I'm thoroughly enjoying the new character Ruthless. Great campy fun once more.
Thanks so much for the recap.
When Padre Pad was doing that whole thing with Eva last night, my husband master of understatement finally said, "This Priest is just worthless". Ya think?
Also my husband who normally sleeps through most of this, really got wordy over the sheriff, he was on this kick that never evah would you see a sheriff wearing a hat like that. Then the gee it just happened rollin in the hay love scene. Jeez he was a font of verbal criticism.
I guess Juan doesn't remember Sofie was voted most likely to be raped or he wouldn't have done the creepy hiding thing. Gathering the wood, was this for a fire in the barn of straw? I guess he doesn't recall simple combustion laws either.
Juan grabbed Sofie in the field after thinking of the Ruth pole dance and Sofie like all good girls put out after thinking Ruth was gonna get Juan.
Ruthless looked like a cat, rubbing all over I-Juan-a-brain. And he just STANDS there! Doesn't push her away, nor tell her to stop. The ever-so-much-the-gentlemen stands there and ... takes it. Eeewwww!
Loved the scene where Ruthless pulls the butcher knife on Juan. I guess she heard Lady Heather retired from the biz. (CSI reference)
doris
Ok in Fuego, You have to love how Ruth makes fun of the "Famoso Hermanos Reyes" complete with Deep voice and facial expressions. Like they are the feared tough guys lol. Eva bumps into Ruth- A priceless moment. Gabi's fears are becoming true so soon. Heh. When will Juan's full memory return??
Good for Gabi Changing the will on Fernando. Problem is he will most likely be on a murderous rampage.Scumbag that he is....
Sarita is looking sexier and prettier. Getting laid must have done wonders for her.
Ibarramedia
Snarlita has been transformed to SweetRita. Amazing what a little nooky can do for a girl...well, the exception being Crabi who resembles a black widow spider looking for her next lunch.
(everyone notice Crabi in leather? oh yeah, Root is definitely the spawn of Crabi. no spoiler...just connecting the s&m dots.)
Scenes the scored a perfect 10 on the Lame-O-Meter:
I-Juan-A-Brain in the field of weeds.
I Juan-A-Brain & Slowfia in the Den of Iniquity, formerly known as The Barn.
Sun shining through the rain storm.
The Slowfia/Root stink eye match, complete with THE REALLY LOUD FOUNTAIN.
Best scene: Caprichio heading for cover. I'm telling you, this horse has it all: brains, beauty & an impeccable sense of timing.
Maggarita
:-)
The bath-in-a-bucket scene was the best part for me. Juan is just so darn awesome. When Rootless was doing her pole dance around Juan I could have sworn he started to laugh but caught himself. I mean, really, that scene was pretty darn funny!
Barn scenes make me sneeze and I'm not even in the barn. It just looks uncomfortable. Why didn't Franco tell Juan that Rootless was the girl who smacked him? Too macho maybe?
Connie: I think I saw Juan stifle a laugh when Root was doing her number on him. I guess nothing gets edited out in telenovelaland.
Susanlynn thanks for the straw -vs- hay. I have never been completely sure which was which. Now I know more. I was just thinking of roll in the hay, make hay while the sun shines. I can't think of any sayings straw except for a TS Eliot poem: head piece filled with straw, alas, from The Hollow Men. Perhaps that could be a reference for Juan-a-brain.
We don't know who Gabi changed her heir to, but I guess it can only be Ruth, since everyone else hates her! I mean, really, is there one person who is still her friend? She always says everyone's against her, but maybe there's a reason for that.
Oh, the troubles of being handsome and/or beautiful! First, Juan had to fend off Leonora, now it's Ruth. In Pasion, Ricardo (Fernando Colunga) had his cousin, his girlfriend, and the governor's daughter all in love with him. Of course it works for women, too. I'm watching Sin Senos No Hay Paraiso, and the main character, Catalina, is so fetching that 3 different drug lords, her boyfriend, her plastic surgeon, a politician and the hitman/servant of her husband have ALL said they are totally in love with her, and would die for her, if she would just marry them (of course she doesn't like any of them except for her boyfriend, who unfortunately is having an affair with her mother!).
Sorry to get off topic, but you can see that Fuego is not the only crazy telenovela.
And the roll around the flour bags did wonders for Sarita I agree. I bet it even cleared up her acne.
Ruthless is a skank. She is definitely Crabi's devil child.
If I can't have swimming, I will take the bucket bath. Wish the other boys had been helping in the field too.
Ruth is a nasty, naughty girls who obviously has never been told no in her life! And I would lay bank that she is Gabby's new inheritor. It would be so nice if this show surprised me.
If the show has to be stupid, I'm just glad they went back to naked men and sex!
The biggest problem I have with this TeleNovela is that there is not one single person I would party with..nope nada not one...
At least in LaFea, you knew Omar & Fer would be hysterical (until they were neutered), Val in Guapos & Rocky, Demian in Mundo..
However in this one..Nope
You couldn't even party with Ruth cause she would just be the slutty girl and then you would be slutty girl's friend.
Coitus interruptus might be too technical.
Maggarita
:-0
These 3 darling munchkins give us our only moments with Grabby being gentle and kind. I was struck with how quickly she threatened their well being by cutting their financial support if the nuns didn't do what she demanded.
Count me in with y'all who enjoyed the bucket bath. (grin)
Honestly! If they would just take Capricio into the orphanage, he would know which baby is J&S's. Who needs a DNA test? The horse is smart enough to know. He might need Mariachi's second opinion to verify, but there it is.
doris
If you go to this page, in the upper left side there is a picture of Christian with his daughter. Click it and there is a series of pictures that are just lovely and sweet! I have a soft sport for big men with children, always nice!
doris
I am so grateful also that they have found a way to bath Juan now that the hacienda seems to have too many functioning bathrooms to make a brothers bath scene again. Let's go to the old swimming hole!
Doris: love it! Take Capricho to the orphanage and let him pick out the right babby.
Root does look like Elvira, Mistress of the Night. Sufria better get her groove on.
Watergirls: (Molly and Connie)oh how I wish we could make your shower scene and bucket bath dreams come true!
"Creemelo"
Also love the pole dance reference. Yes, indeed, fun stuff....
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Sarita Just got hotter in my opinion. 3 seems to be a magical number in Fuego. If they adopt those 3 kids, Fernando can still do harm to all 3 or either one of them. Won't they require that Sofia and Juan get married again to be able to adopt them?
I wish that Leonora and Ruth would get to interact with each other. I guess Her time is up. I don't see her in the credits anymore. But there is somebody in the credits for Don Ricardo Uribe...
This gets interesting. Dumb novela or not, the story is picking up the pace here. :)
Theories about how Fernando will be killed:
1)Padre Tadeo slays him
2) Gabriela Kills him while protecting either Sofia or abuelo
3)Juan kills him in duel.
4) All 3 Robles-Reyes bros kill him with a shotgun
5) Eva kills him
6) Ruth kills him
7) Sofia kills Fernando
8)Don Agustin kills Fernando
9) Fernando and Ricardo Uribe kill each other.
10) Rosario and the ghosts of all of fernando's victims drive him mad and he fall off a cliff.
11) Fernando is killed by snake
12) Don Bernanrdo's horse tramples him.
Ibarramedia
How about Capricho "accidentally" picks up the rope that is tired around Feo's ankle and gets stung by a bee thereby startling him where he runs like crazy and slams Feo into a very big rock? :) Oh the horror (not really!)
Feo's death ought to be worthy of a Vincent Price film. Anything that's not elaborate and twisted will be a severe disappointment.
On the other hand, a severe disappointment would not be a huge surprise.
So I was perusing youtube at lunch and there are Fuego bloopers posted. It looks like it all stuff we haven't seen. I don't speak any Spanish so I was completely clueless, I just liked seeing them all look like they were actually having a good time doing this goofy show.
Anyway, I feel I can tell when they are cracking up for real, not just acting. This too is a huge reason the show was successful in Mexico, because of the people, not the story. They all probably feel it's silly too, although they probably have more tolerance for the utterly implausible than we do. :)
I saw Root in Mi Destino Eres Tu (among others) a while back and she was amazing. She played a similar loca character and was unbelievably believable and really creepy good. Amazing performance. She has this reputation...
I too instantly think of Capricho trampling him to death, and also think you should include either in tandem, or of his own measure, Mariachi nawing his face off.
That would be a good death, if Mariachi didn't get sick afterwards from the poison that flows through Feo....:)
I forgot to add Being shot by Commisario Mutton Chops or being annoyed and nagged to death by those Spinster sisters who are friends with Gabi.
I noticed in this telenovela, no one has ever said ja ja ja ja, Ya basta and called someone Bruja....
You would think people would mutter under their breath to Gabi Bruja!
Looks like Jimena might have plans to live in the old hacienda Uribe , now Hacienda Robles-Reyes.
Hopefully we won't be seeing mopre babies being born here. The baby swapping is too crazy. They should barcode the babies, but in this town, you can forget about the technology. They do have refrigerators though.
Does it seem like Don Agustin and Saul are the only guys not wearing a Sombrero Charro on a regular basis?
Ibarramedia
but having been the queen of Loreal for decades..
Ruth's hair looks funny cause yes it probably is uber extensions, but after a certain age Black is just uber scary, it is way to harsh for aging skin (the dark hair on Niurka looks bad too).
I have a pic of Root with long hair,same color but straight. No curls. Funny thing is She also sings opera. Looks like all the fuego girls except for Leonora Sofia and Jimena sing. We all know how bad Jimena was. ;)
Ibarramedia
I'm in favor of the animals getting together to cause Feo's downfall/demise. Maybe Root and Feo can have some of that hawt sex --so hot it will kill them both.
La Paloma
On the other hand, David Carus was my reason to NOT watch CSI Miami. Ugh. It was a happy day in Julieland when NYPD Blue traded him in for Jimmy Smits.
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