Caray, Caray!

Alt titles:
Why wait for a grave when you can dance on the corpse?
OH MY GOD! They killed Fafy! You bastards!!
Everyone Gropes Ernesto (except Lorena)

What do you mean, you've never heard of Fafy Cuenca? Let me tell you about my good friend Fafy Cuenca. He was the king of the jet set... the world-famous playboy. He once climbed Mt. Everest with nothing but a sweater and a pair of nail clippers. He invented sliced bread.

Ever have chocolate and peanut butter mixed together? That was Fafy Cuenca's idea. Donald Trump lost most of his hair in a bet with Fafy Cuenca - that's why he combs his hair over now. Fafy Cuenca taught Captain Kirk how to beat the Kobayashi Maru. He blew up the Death Star with a well-aimed spitball. He gave martial arts advice to Chuck Norris.

Fafy Cuenca will be missed.

Sara wakes and tells Fafy she has an idea about how they can use the bodyguards. Fafy stubbornly keeps his eyes shut. His hands are folded neatly over his chest, and there's a faint smirk on his face. She reaches for his face and recoils. "He's dead! But I didn't do anything, he died all by himself!"

She calls Bruno with the news. She's still freaked out that she spent the night with a corpse. (Complain, complain.) Bruno's happy that they lucked out. She agrees, and tells him to get ready to put on a show.

She runs into the hallway, shrieking for Bruno. "Something happened to Fafy!" Bruno and two guards show up. Bruno briefly examines the patient. Yep, he's been dead for a few hours! Sara swoons dramatically (comically), then goes into hysterics, to be soothed in Bruno's arms. Bruno glances nervously at Fafy, who is still smirking with his eyes shut. But we just know it's a trick; he'll open those eyes any minute now and laugh in all their stupid faces.

Lorena fills Julian in on last night's meeting with the lawyer. Fafy had told Ern he wanted to entrap Sara, but she didn't know what he had in mind. Meanwhile, they'll keep looking for evidence. Julian's willing to try to get some help from Toño, the forger, but he doesn't want to do it in a sneaky way because the guy was nice to him. Lorena wonders if he might have kept any records, or maybe even original documents. Julian doubts that he would have kept any incriminating evidence; Lorena agrees and dismisses the idea. (Not so fast, kids! Toño took a lot of pride in the work that he did; I wouldn't be at all surprised if he kept a portfolio.) Still, he thinks maybe something could come of it.

Diana weeps to her baby about what a shame it is that he can't get to know his father. She doesn't know how she ever could have loved him! And she can never forgive herself for rejecting Vasco. He would have been a great dad. But she'll have to resign herself...

"Why are you so sure?" asks Hortensia, walking in. She says their separation was her fault, not Diana's, and she thinks Vasco's still in love with her. Diana thinks he seems pretty happy with Paty. "Because that dingbat (atolondrada) is saying how much they love each other at the top of her lungs (a voz en cuello), but I know Vasco," Hortensia says. But he's probably afraid to hear her say no again. Would she reject him again? Diana says of course not! Snorty says that the next time he comes by, she'd better grab him and not let him go. Snorty knows what he'll say! (Meanwhile, poor little Saulito is coughing his head off!)

Meanwhile, Sara is crawling all over her dead sweetie and crying "you can't leave me alone, I love you." Her theatrics are so over-the-top that Bruno threatens to give her a shot. "How can I calm down when my reason for living is dead?" The bodyguards ask if there's anyone they should call. Bruno says no, he didn't have any family; they'd just like some privacy. He sends them out. "No, I love you Fafy! Why did you leave?!" Sara hollers for good measure.

Alone at last, just the two of them and the dead guy, Bruno wants to know how long the mourning period is, because he's ready to party now. She says the party can begin when they read his will. "Now I believe in God!" she laughs.

Downstairs, one of the bodyguards says they should find out what really happened. The other is doubtful - if she killed him, then what would she do to them? The first guy says they need to stay there and find out who's going to pay them.

Sara's in a hurry for Bruno to sign the death certificate so they can get this "lump" (bulto) out of here. He teases her, "he's not even finished cooling off yet and you want to get rid of him?" He can sign the certificate, but a judge still has to validate it. He asks if they shouldn't notify someone, to make their little play look more convincing. The only person she can think of is that nosy Santiago, and she'd rather not tell him until Fafy's nothing but ashes. Bruno says they still have to keep up the act. They should shut down the company for a couple of days in mourning.

Sara loves this idea. She calls Ernesto and tells him her Fafy died in his sleep. "What a shame," is all Ernesto can say, stunned. He invites himself to the house. "No, that's not necessary," Sara says, rolling her eyes desperately at Bruno, but Ern wants to be supportive.

After the call, Sara and Bruno stifle giggles. Does Fafy wake up and grab them by their necks and choke the life out of them? Sadly, no.

Julian goes to see Toño, but a bystander says he left. Sometimes he disappears for many days at a time.

Zulema and Lorena go to the clinic for Z's checkup. Alonso invites Lorena out to eat after the checkup. Of course he doesn't notice the disappointed look on Valeria's face. Valeria offers to see Zulema home afterwards. Lorena suggests that 'Slow do the checkup first, and then they can talk about lunch.

Santiago enters his one-room apartment with a styrofoam coffee cup and a paper bag. He sits down at a tiny little table to tuck into whatever luxurious meal might be in that bag. We'll never know, because he can't stop looking at his phone. He decides to listen to his message.

Hopefully it's not that you don't want to answer me,

says the voice of a dead man. "How well you know me, Fafy Cuenca," Santiago sighs.

Maybe I made too much of a fuss about the golf clubs...

"Obviously!"

...but today more than ever I've realized that if anyone's ever really liked me, it's you, my great friend.

"Wha? I wasn't expecting to hear that."

You are the only person in whom I can trust. I need to tell you something right away.

(Obviously, Fafy went to the Lorena School of Communication.)

Santi dashes to the door. He doesn't even take his coffee with him.

Zulema's checkup is fine. She can't wait to make a big dinner for her whole family. Alonso says that when people talk about their desires, it's usually travel or some fun thing. She says her great dream is to see her family together and happy around the table, enjoying the food she's made for them.

She asks if she's going to get fat again. He says if she doesn't control her diet, she will, but if she eats a balanced diet, she can be thin forever. She resolves to be careful.

Ernesto arrives at the Big House of Horrors. The smarter bodyguard tells him that the old man went to sleep with his wife and woke up dead. They didn't see anything; they couldn't be in the room. (The dumber bodyguard asks Ernesto who's going to pay them.) Ern reminds the smarter one to be discreet and not let on that they've already met.

Sara comes downstairs clutching a hanky. Of course, she is clad in a black suit, which she probably bought the very morning after she slept with Fafy for the first time. Ern acts very sympathetic and says gee, who would have thought... Fafy seemed so healthy! "This is the most awful thing that could have happened to me," Sara sobs. She throws herself into his arms, just in time for Santiago to walk in and see.

Vasco comes to the Casserole Cooperative to wait for Paty, who is out shopping with Felipe. He asks Diana, who is alone, if she minds if he waits there. He asks about the meeting with Joel. She tells him about the video - not only do they have a confession from Sara, but Bruno was her accomplice. And they're also the ones who poisoned all the guests at Snorty's last gig.

Diana says Bruno was the greatest mistake of her life, and letting him take her away from Vasco. She never should have done that; she was a fool.

"Why, Diana? I begged you, I waited for you. I love your child as if he were my own; I saw him grow in your belly, I wanted to be his father." Diana says the only consolation left is that maybe her child will be like him, a sincere and honest man.

He is about to kiss her when Paty and Felipe come in. Felipe scowls, but Paty doesn't seem to realize what she's walked in on. Di and Vasco look awkward and guilty.

Santi doesn't take the news of Fafy's death well. (Indeed, I'm still thinking that this is a trick, and that Fafy is being revived right now.) He plays back the phone message for Sara, Ernesto, and the bodyguards to hear. He feels that it is irrefutable (fehaciente) evidence that Fafy felt endangered. His friend didn't die of natural causes - they killed him! He says he's accusing all of them. They're all under suspicion until they prove otherwise! He says all these security people are proof that Fafy couldn't trust anyone but him.

Ernesto tells Santi he's taking things too far. Sara protests being accused amidst all her pain. Santi vows not to let this crime go unpunished. He runs up the stairs calling Fafy's name. "Poor Santiago, he truly was his friend," Sara sniffs.

Ern says the phone message really is very odd. Sara says the only strange thing she noticed yesterday was the security, but Fafy was so eccentric, he said he was trying them out on a friend's recommendation. As for the message, maybe he sensed that he was going to die and called Santi to say goodbye.

"We're alone now - you don't have to pretend. Please get up," Santi coaxes his friend. (Only now does my hope begin to fade, but only a little.) He begs Fafy Cuenca to just be joking. He can't be dead - it's ludicrous! He's immortal! "Don't abandon me! Say you've gone on one of your trips... you have to come back, like always..."

Now Felipe and Diana are alone. He is not and never was Diana's boyfriend to begin with, but he's still mad about the kiss he knows he interrupted. He says he's not as dumb as Paty - he's tired of her not paying attention to him (no me peles = you don't peel me = you don't pay attention to me) and dying over some guy who's aiming at two targets (blancos).

Diana says if there's anyone in this world who has integrity, it's Vasco. She's not going to listen to Felipe - she's got things to do and he can leave. He insists that he loves her. "Nice way of showing it," she replies.

Outside, Paty is thanking Vasco for visiting her, and says it brightened her day to find him waiting for her. Finally she notices that he's quiet. He says he's been thinking about their relationship... "Me too!" Paty interrupts. "You don't know how many dreams I have and plans I've made for the two of us. I've been imagining waking at your side for the rest of my life!"

Maruja finds Rosy crying over a particularly stinky onion. Also, she really misses Julian. Maru says she was the one who wanted to be apart. Rosy still doesn't want to lose her willpower. She wants a man, not a child. Maruja says she's heard that from Rosy's mouth, but her heart is saying something else. Rosy says sometimes the heart is wrong. She wants her child to be proud of its father and she doesn't want to go through what Diana did.

Maruja doesn't think there's any comparison. Julian may act like a kid, but he's a good person. Rosy insists she wants him to be mature.

Santiago is still begging at Fafy's bedside. He's sick with guilt for not having taken that call. If only he had answered, if he'd come over yesterday, maybe Fafy would still be alive. He promises again that this death will not go unpunished. He knows Fafy felt threatened and that he wanted to tell him that those desgraciados wanted to kill him.

Fafy still doesn't open his eyes. Really, I find this whole thing very cruel. I wish he would put an end to this sick charade right now. Tell us you're okay! Please???

Sara, Bruno, and Ernesto come in. Santi asks which of them did it. Bruno says Fafy had a sudden heart attack. "'Natural causes,' my longjohns (polainas). I don't believe you - you killed Fafy Cuenca." Sara threatens to throw him out. He calls her a slut and says he won't be ordered around by her. He wonders whether Bruno or Ern or both helped her. He doesn't care about Bruno's stupid death certificate, either. He wants an autopsy.

Sara says she's been patient so far, but this is going too far. Santi is adamant. Ernesto tries to mediate, saying why not have the autopsy to settle any doubts. "Because NO!" is Sara's convincing reply. "I'm not going to let you destroy Fafy's body just to please a crazy little old man!" He says that if they don't do it, he'll accuse them of murder. Sara says he'll have to eat those words (literally, face up to that profanity), "because there is a God!" (second time she's said that today). And if the autopsy says it was a natural death, he can't attend Fafy's funeral.

She and Bruno leave to arrange the autopsy. Bruno is wondering who they can bribe for a negative autopsy. Sara insists she didn't do anything. Bruno asks, then why did she oppose the autopsy? She just didn't want Santi to have his way. She didn't kill Fafy - that was just lucky.

Santi stands guard over his friend. He's hostile to Ernesto, but Ernesto starts to tell him what he knows.

Sara pays the bodyguards generously and they leave. (Now the smart bodyguard has his answer... Sara knows she's not in danger, even though Fafy was afraid for his life. I bet he knows what that means.)

Bruno has arranged for the autopsy. Sara looks forward to never seeing Santiago's ugly face again. Bruno looks forward to flinging Fafy's ashes with a big spoon.

Apparently, Ernesto has told Santi everything. Santi is angrier than ever. He asks Ern to promise that they won't stop until Sara and Bruno pay. Ern says they've got a lot against them, because Fafy's not this woman's only victim. "But in time you'll know the whole story." Santi feels that he's heard enough already. Ern reminds him to keep all of this under his hat, for Fafy. "For the legend, Fafy Cuenca!" Santi sobs, and cries on Ernesto's shoulder.

Rosy goes shopping with Diana at the baby stuff store to cheer Diana up. When Rosy starts showing enthusiasm for different things, Diana teases her, "but what if you don't have any children?" Ha, ha, she knows all about the baby. Oh, what a bunch of jokers. Diana admits that Julian is the only person who doesn't know yet. They all respect her opinion, but she's depriving him of the right to his dreams. Rosy says she wishes it wasn't so hard, but she's started and now she's going to see it through. Meanwhile, she would like Diana's help in buying everything in the store.

Zulema and Lorena discuss mole poblano and other dishes for their big celebratory dinner. They wonder if Julian and Rosy will be back together in time to enjoy it together. Julian lurks outside the door and overhears that someone's having a baby. He bursts in and wants to hear all about Lorena's baby. Lorena wheezes with laughter. Nope, it's not Diana either. Zulema and Lorena just stare awkwardly. He figures it out. "I'm going to be a daddy! I'm going to be a daddy!"

At the babystuff store, Diana says it still hurts her to see Vasco with Paty. Rosy says she likes Paty, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like Diana too. Aw, big hug. Rosy buys another pair of baby shoes during the hug.

Sara is complaining that they're at the morgue thanks to Santiago, instead of at a funeral home. She's alone in the world. Ern says, surely Fafy left you something. "Oh, no, with Fafy it was living from day to day. We never spoke of the future, much less a future without him." She cries on his shoulder.

(Ahem, I know Ern is irresistible, but the death of a loved one is no excuse for copping a cheap feel.)

Bruno sees them. They'll find out the autopsy results first thing tomorrow. Santi says he won't leave until he has the report in his hands.

Ernesto borrows Ivan's cell phone to call Lorena. (No idea why he didn't do this sooner.) Lorena is at home with Zulema and Snorty, who are debating whether or not Rosy will let up on Julian. Ernesto tells her about Fafy's death. Everything points to Sara and Bruno killing him and trying to make it look like a natural death, but his friend ordered an autopsy. He's pretending to be supportive while they carry on with their little game. He and Lorena still have to meet at the set tomorrow, but they'll keep faking...

Lorena tells her mother and grandmother; Z is worried that Sara might hurt Ernesto, while Snorty thinks Sara will be satisfied and leave them alone now that she's got some money. Lorena doesn't want to leave Sara alone, though.

Diana is visiting with Barbara when Vasco comes home. Barbara insists that Diana stay for dinner. She won't take no for an answer, and assures Diana that she brought the dinner home from work. Don't worry, she didn't cook it herself! Ha, ha! She goes to heat it up, leaving Diana alone with Vasco again.

Diana asks how things are going with Paty and says the almost-kiss was not proper. "You're right, I'd better not lie..." and before he can finish, there's a big crash in the kitchen. Barb has dropped their dinner. (Sounds like the chicken was made out of metal and glass.)

Omar calls the lesser house just to remind us that he's still alive. He tells Lorena to take care. That's the whole phone call.

Julian is sitting outside Maruja's place, waiting, when Rosy comes home in a taxicab full of baby stuff. She tries to make up an excuse, but he tells her he knows about the baby. And he's the happiest man on earth.

Paula answers the door to find a very dejected Greta on her doorstep. Greta needs a friend; Paula firmly says they're finished. "You reap what you sow." She chews her out for being a homewrecker. Greta says she did it for love, and love justifies everything! Paula reminds her that she wasn't in love yet when she went after a married man. Greta continues to whine and beg, but Paula says she can't be friends with someone like her.

Rosy tells Julian she was going to tell him about the baby when he could show that he's a man that her child needs as a father. J says he's never going to be perfect, but he's responsible, will toil from dan till dusk until he can come up with a down payment on an apartment so they can live together with their baby. All this time, the only two things that have been on his mind have been his job, and her name. And her eyes, and her hands, and her legs... she says now her baby too.

He offers to leave. She says no, he can stick around - to help her carry her things into the house. After which he can leave. Ha, ha! A joke! Of course he can stay.

Back at The Place Formerly Known As Snorty Acres (I can't remember what we actually called it) Bruno is ready for a drink in Fafy's honor, and the rewards of patience. He asks Sara if she knows how much money she'll inherit. Sara's getting dizzy just thinking of all those zeros... hmmm... maybe that's all she's going to end up with. She saw her name on that will with her own eyes... the eyes that hypnotize Bruno... he says her mourning clothes must be very uncomfortable - he'll help her out of them!

More doorbells at Paula's house. It's Valeria and Maruja. She tells them about Greta's visit, showing neither dignity nor shame. And she hasn't forgotten that little trick Greta pulled on her with Raymundo, either. She reports that things are going well with him. Paula and Maruja want to know why Valeria doesn't have a love life yet. Val says, who would want a woman with two kids? They pooh-pooh her concerns and think surely there must be some nice doctor at the hospital. Val doesn't want to talk about any of this; she's ready to uncork the bottle and forget about her problems. "Your only problem is your ex, and I don't think he's coming back." Valeria finally cracks a smile.

Ickturo and his mom are back. She's thrilled that all of their stuff is still there in the house. Ickturo isn't nearly as cheerful. Apparently, all the money he stole from Sara is gone, blown away on some camel-related investment, and he has to start from scratch again. Mama's sure he'll bounce back. He's not so sure he can do much with the 300 dollars he has left.

Mama reminds him that he still has the hats (as if he could forget - they're surrounded by the boxes). This cheers him up, until he discovers that they've been eaten by moths.

Jaime and Maruja seem to be preparing for una noche de amor when Julian and Rosy arrive. "It's not what you think," Maruja claims. Rosy says they're together again.

Next morning, Alonso dashes off to work in a hurry without breakfast. Toribio tries to point out the irony of a doctor who tells his patients to eat right and get lots of sleep, yet he skips breakfast, etc. Tori opens his newspaper and is surprised by a big photo of his former classmate, and a big headline: "Famous Fafy Cuenca Dies." He shows it to Alonso. Alonso gapes.

The autopsy results are ready. The medical examiner offers them to Sara and Bruno, but Santiago snatches them away. "Me first!" He doesn't look happy.

Rosy barges into the lesser house and demands to know who blabbed about the baby to Julian. Ha ha, she's kidding! They're happy! Yaaaay! Hortensia's happy too. She demands that Julian call her "Grandma" (or even "great-grandma") rather than "Miss Hortensia."

Lorena goes to the studio and finds a gift basket, which she assumes is for her. However, the card says "Thanks for the wonderful night you gave me, Ernesto. Camila." Jimena just happens to show up at that moment. "Oh, this isn't Ernesto's dressing room? Oops!" Annoyed, Lorena shows her the gift. Jimena's like, eh, what did I tell you? That woman's still hounding her about Ernesto. She shows Lorena the latest text message she sent: "Did Ernesto tell you about the night we had?"

Lorena, being a sucker and not even considering the kind of night Ernesto probably had after spending the day around a corpse and a couple of would-be murderers, gets so angry she takes the phone out of Jimena's hand and decides to call Ernesto's little chippie and give her a piece of her mind. She is shocked to hear, "How'd it go? Did the plan work? Please tell me that dumb bonde totally turned green!"

Instead, the alleged dumb blonde hangs up and turns purple. "You're going to tell me right now what plan that woman's talking about!" Jimena is speechless (for now).

Santiago finishes reading the autopsy report, which confirms that Fafy's death was of natural causes. He's still not convinced. "I know you two killed him. Desgraciados!" (I hope the fact that he didn't include Ernesto in the blame this time doesn't make them suspicious.)

Labels: enemiga