Caray, Caray!

Patricio and Cecilia enter the funeral home, where suitably funereal music plays and random extras sit around in black clothes and dark glasses looking mournful. They offer their condolences to Onelia, who either planned ahead and wore 5 pounds of waterproof eye makeup, has no tear ducts, or is not really very sad. Would have been better to let the mascara run, I think…it would have really added to the tragique display she’s trying to put on. Ceci kindly pats her shoulder while she moans about her pobre hija and insists that that canalla (scoundrel) who murdered her must pay. Stef pulls Pat aside and insists that he must help Juan Miguel, because JM is innocent.

Piraña and his borracho sidekick lounge around by their shack in the woods. Señor Sidekick can’t button his shirt properly, but he’s still got enough of a clue to decide it would be better to not kidnap the baby, since they already have part of the money. They should just disappear for awhile and hide from Amador. Piraña agrees, but it’s too late: Amador stalks over and demands to know why the kidlet hasn’t disappeared. Isabela trails behind in footwear unsuited to the rough terrain.

Omar/Leopardo goes to Marichuy’s room and asks how she and the baby are doing. (Did Marichuy give the baby a name?) Things are going great; she’s recovering fine; she’s totally happy. The only thing is, she says, she had promised to tell Amador when the baby was born and she hasn’t done it. Why does he need to know?, Leo asks. Mari says he’s very important for her future, and the baby’s. So he’s the baby’s father?, Leo concludes. Mari’s all, Never! Where do you get these crazy ideas? Well, he always wants to visit and you say he’s important… Marichuy tells him to sit down and she’ll tell him about Don Amador. I hope she doesn’t leave out the attempted rapes and the fake blindness and the baby he’s having nothing to do with, who should be born any day now so it’s too bad its mama’s doctor is in Acapulco. Leo sits on the very corner of the bed, as far as he can get from Marichuy.

Pat thinks that Stef is just delusional because she’s in love with Juan Miguel and wants to take advantage of his wife’s death. Stef the crack detective (it’s too bad Amador wasn’t the private investigator on the case; that way I could call him a dick) says she has proof that it was that French dame he had on the side, the one they saw in the bar. Balbina saw her sneaking in from the garden. Patricio takes a moment to consider arguments and evidence, for once in his judgy life.

Amador and Isabela try to threaten the two losers, who insist they haven’t had a chance to take the child. I’d like to see Isa try that if she didn’t have Amador’s guns backing her up. They warn the henchmen not to play dirty tricks (jugarettas), just get the job done, or else.

The supercute baby sleeps and his mama admires him. She remembers Leo asking if the memory of the father will keep her from love. She thinks back to their wedding and honeymoon and laments the things that have torn them apart.

Leo stands in the garden and talks to himself. He can’t deny that he loves Marichuy, and he’s always fought for what he wants, so he’s going to go to her with his heart in his hands and tell her how he feels, even though he thinks she’s still stuck on her husband.

Juan Miguel tries to get Blanca to understand why he’s protecting her. She may be crazy, but she’s not crazy enough to believe that makes any sense. He insists that he’s at fault, he is the crux (eje, also means axle) of this tragedy. Blanca tells him not to fear for her, but just take her to the authorities, because she is the one who killed Viviana, and she must be accountable for her crime. JM has very realistic bags under his eyes.

The police have returned with the arrest warrant. Rocio assures them that JM is still at home as he promised he would be, because he is a stand-up guy. She runs to fetch him.

Stef convinces Pat that they should stop Ivette from fleeing. The problem with that plan is that they don’t know where she lives. Stef thinks they can find out from the bartender at the restaurant, because Ivette seemed to know him well. She doesn’t want to go alone, because it’s a dangerous matter for the police. Wow, she really is smarter than Nancy Drew, not that that’s saying much. Nancy would have gone alone, gotten tied up and locked in a closet, and then after her friends had figured out where she was, apprehended the criminal, and freed her, taken all the credit for solving the case. To be completely fair, I must add here that Stef isn’t bugging me as much as she usually does, and her hair looks nice with no stupid bows or barrettes in it.

JM tells Blanca that he is a known and respected man, and he knows how to handle things. Um, no you DON’T, Juan Miguel. You screw up EVERYTHING. Also, you are very cute and wouldn’t stand a chance in prison, massive gym-muscles notwithstanding. What part of “community soap” are you looking forward to? Rocio enters and tells him the police have come for him. If I were her, and my “famous” brother was getting arrested and there was a good chance my picture would appear on the news, I would not have worn a vest that looks like I put on a weird bra over my shirt. Not that I would have anyway.

Mari remembers JM telling her Viv has returned. She cries.

Blanca is upset that JM is going to go with the police and plead guilty, and begs him not to do it. He thinks he’s being all noble, going off to jail and leaving a homicidal lunatic IN HIS HOME endangering his family and society at large, and walks off with the police like the martyr he aspires to be.

Cande remarks that the baby is wearing her out (she’s not complaining, though…she says it cheerfully) and eating well. Marichuy asks her to watch him while she takes a bath. As soon as Mari leaves, Cande remembers that she left the bottles in the water on the stove or some such and goes off, leaving the baby alone. Piraña lurks on the balcony like a vulture. Honestly, Cande. You had one job to do.

Padre Anselmo is at Castle San Roman, trying to comfort Rocio. She insists that her brother is a good person and is not guilty, and begs PA not to abandon him. PA says he’s ready and willing to help Juan Miguel, and heads off to the jail to see him. (vocab: preso means imprisoned).

Pat and Stef sit in the bar that looks like a kindergarten and wait for the barman to arrive. Pat thinks this plan is nuts, but Stef is determined. Pat points out that they can’t arrest Ivette, but Stef says they just need to find her; the police can deal with the particulars. They bartender arrives. Stef asks about the French dame. He looks intense and mildly impactado.

Rocio looks for Blanca and finds that she has disappeared.

Piraña starts to climb through the window, but Marichuy comes back looking for shampoo and sees that LalaCande has left the baby alone and the window is open.

The bar guy doesn’t know Ivette’s exact address, but he tells them her last name. Stef decides to go to the police.

Juan Miguel tells a police guy that he murdered his wife. PG interrogates him and confirms that he and Viv did not get along and fought often, that the murder happened during a fight, and that it was not premeditated. Then the PG pulls out the dagger and asks JM where he got it.

Cande returns and she and Mari discuss the case of the open window. Marichuy thinks it’s strange, first the broken glass and now the window opening. She begs Cande not to leave the baby alone while she has her bath. She leaves again, and the cute baby laughs at Cande.

JM says he used the dagger as a letter opener, and he was reading his mail when the fight started. So why was it in the governess’s room?, asks the inspector. Ummm…that’s where Viv was, and where we fought, says JM. Where is the governess?, queries the inspector. JM is not used to dealing with people who question his BS, and now he’s getting tangled in his lies. Ha. I wonder what he thought would happen.

Rocio wonders whether Blanca has gone to try to help JM, or has turned into Ivette. She thinks she needs to let JM know that she has escaped. So he can come up with another brilliant plan, I imagine.

Ivette is in her apartment, drinking wine and thinking that she must flee again, and not go to jail.

Some bureaucrat is having no luck finding any record of Ivette Dorbleac. Stef thinks they can find her if the guy tells them where JM is being interrogated.

JM tells the investigator that Blanca had quit. Investigator asks what the fight with Viv was about. Stef’s guy comes in to take away JM’s personal effects, including his phone. In the other office, Stef scrolls through the listings and finds Ivette’s number. She winks at Pat.

JM gets more and more tripped up with his lies. He looks anxious. This isn’t as easy as he expected.

Stef’s investigator asks why they think JM is innocent when he says he’s guilty. Stef says he’s just covering for Frenchy, and they can ask him questions later, but right now it’s important to make sure the real criminal doesn’t get away. Investigator looks like he has a headache. This is going to be a lot of paperwork. He dials the phone and tells Stef to talk. The phone rings in Ivette’s apartment and she reacts to it before we hear it (falling asleep on the job, sound guy?). Stef panics and throws the phone back without talking, but she has a 75-watt lightbulb Idea. She wants to call JM’s inspector.

JM’s inspector is getting angry. He wants the straight facts. JM stalls, and the phone rings. Inspector talks to the other one, and says aha, he suspected that also. He hangs up and tells JM they’ll have to leave their chat for another time. Am I going to a cell?, JM asks. No, says the inspector, you’re getting your stuff back, and you’ll be free shortly. JM looks confused and frustrated.

Ivette finally notices the broken wine glass, still on the floor from when JM dumped her and she lost it. She freaks out and seems to be shifting back to Blanca.

JM gets his stuff back and is told he’s free to go. He’s confused; he said he was guilty. Well, someone told us you were lying, the inspector tells him. The inspector tells him not to leave the city but to just hang out at home, because they’ll probably want to talk to him later. They neglect to arrest him for tampering with a crime scene and failing to report a murder in a timely manner and obstruction of justice (or their Mexican equivalents) and whatever else should be added to his rap sheet, but that is part of their clever plan. JM leaves. Inspector plays with his stress ball and reports the departure.

Rocio is delighted to see Juan Miguel home, but he just wants to know who ratted him out. Rocio tells him Blanca is gone. He heads out to find her, JUST AS STEF PLANNED.

Blanca has changed into the most conservative thing Ivette owns, a dress which is short and low-cut but simple and un-bedazzled. Juan Miguel asks her why she left his house (and appears to be multi-tasking by looking down her top at the same time). She doesn’t know, but she figures her other self did it. Then she freaks out about the daggers on the walls, and then she realizes JM and Ivette had something going on, and asks him what their relationship was. Probably she’s wondering whether she needs penicillin. She is embarrassed and ashamed, but JM just tells her it wasn’t what she thinks.

Granny Abuela, over in Acapulco Twinkleville, tells Mayita the fable of the tortoise (tortuga) and the hare (liebre).

Martirio calls Isabela to delightedly report the chisme. Viviana was killed, by her own husband! Martirio is thrilled by this excitement; Isa is impactada.

JM reassures Blanca that he and Ivette were just friends. Sure, she totally wanted him, but then, so does Blanca, right? She did say that she was in love with him. Blanca looks embarrassed and says he must despise her. He kindly assures her that he understands (because he’s never met a woman who didn’t drool all over him). The police pound on the door. JM wants to flee, but there’s no other exit besides the front door (I guess the D.F. doesn’t care about fire safety. Although, I’m not so big on it myself. The fire alarms in my office building go off so often that I am now well-trained to ignore them. The smoke alarm in my apartment building went off this morning because one of my neighbors actually did start a fire in the kitchen and filled half the building with smoke, and even though the thing is loud enough to wake the dead in Australia it never occurred to me to go outside.) Anyway, he shoves a bunch of stuff behind the sofa and gets Blanca to hide in the bedroom. He lets the detectives in, and they immediately take note of all the weapons on the walls. JM is like, “what?”

Leo plays another harmonica lullaby outside the window. Cande decides that it’s a serenade because Leo is in love with Marichuy. Mari wants to just ignore it, because she doesn’t want to either encourage him or disappoint him. She loves him like a brother. Cande convinces her to at least go to the window and thank him for the song.

Back in Daggerville, Juan Miguel insists that Ivette isn’t there and he doesn’t understand what the detectives want with her. The detectives are not fools and insist on looking for themselves. JM and young cute detective size each other up.

Marichuy goes out on the balcony to listen to Leo’s playing. He looks slyly pleased.

Avances: Leo tells Marichuy he thinks they have a future together. Cande sees in the newspaper that JM murdered his wife. JM sits in a jail cell.

Labels: Cuidado