Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Las tontas no van #37, Mon 1/26, Bruja-ja in Guadalajara-ja

Isabel is trying to explain to her beloved that her son will always consider their relationship as infidelity to his father. In other words, Jaime won’t accept Jaime because of Jaime.* Isabel confesses that she is full of questions herself, but before she can elaborate, Donato interrupts with an important call from Candy. Isabel assures Candy that she can come and stay at the house; no one will know. When she turns around, Jaime the timid and insecure has left.

*The portrait in the parlor is Jaime Camil’s real-life father, also named Jaime.

Alicia’s chickens are coming home to roost, and she’s scared of chickens. She warns her mama that Candy had better not mess with her husband or she’ll be sorry. No way will she let Candy destroy her life. Gregoria points out the irony: Alicia destroyed Candy’s life. Besides, Candy doesn’t want anything to do with them.

Candy shows up at Isabel’s and apologizes profusely for the intrusion. She explains that she is hiding from Chava’s father, and Santiago knows all about it. As Candy darts off, wise Isabel muses that her son needs to open his eyes.

Santi comes into the institute under the pretext of looking for Marissa, knowing full well she’s not there. Meño walks in and introduces his friend Jorge Flores (aka Psychic Guy from Fea). Lulu sees him and can’t contain herself. She stammers, “You.. you.. you’re.. Jorge Flores. You were in La fea más bella! (Why do Santiago and Candy both look each other up and down when Lulu says that? This scene is PACKED with little jokes; I think this one is a joke I don’t understand.)

Meño interrupts; Jorge needs to talk to Candy. Santi embarrasses him by looking at his uneven ears. We are left with only Lulu and Santiago, and she’s still bursting with excitement.
Lu: That was Jorge Flores!
Santi: What? From Beauty and the Beast?
Lu: No. He’s from La fea más bella.
Santi: Huh? What’s that?
Lu: It had this muchacho guapisimo! Named Don Fernando!
Santi: That guy was Don Fernando?
Lu: No Don Fer…
Santi (interrupting): Oh, what do I care? I never watch those telenovelas.
Santiago kisses Lulu’s hand as he leaves, and she gazes at her hand, thinking “Tan divino!”

Jorge commends Candy on the important work her institute is doing. He tells her, “Wonderful things will come into your life.” He gives her a necklace and explains that when she finds the other half of the medallion, she will have found the true love of her life. Candy likes the sound of that.

Meño suggests Candy tell Chayo who they think is dating Ed. Candy says first she has to be sure. Meño will go upstairs and find out when Ed leaves work. Candy will detain Ceci so Ed can’t go out with her. When Ed goes home early for once, they’ll have their proof because Ceci was with Candy instead of Ed. Meño goes upstairs and discovers Ed has already left for the day. Meño flatters Hortensia that she has “ojos de chinicuil.” Today’s zoology lesson: chinicuil is the maguey worm, a worm that infests agave (tequila) and maguey plants. It’s the worm they put into bottles of mezcal. But not tequila – regulations prohibit adding insects or larvae to tequila. Oh, the things we learn on Caray!

Today’s vocabulary lesson. Have you ever wondered about the word “metiche” and wondered why it’s such a negative thing? It’s one who butts in where she doesn’t belong. Candy tells Chayo that she thinks she knows who Ed’s amante is but she won’t say anything without evidence. Um, excuse me, she just did say something. Whatever. She continues that she is going to intercept the amante, so Ed will be home early tonight. Our metiche is very proud of herself. I guess compared to Candy’s normal behavior, this almost qualifies as a good deed. I’m too sickened to rant; I’ll leave that to you readers.

Don confides in Isabel that he’s worried Tina may have cancer. She reminds him that she had cancer and survived. She suggests that this is a good time for Donato to tell Tina how he feels about her.

Candy hears Ceci make a date to meet someone and assumes she’s meeting with Ed. Candy invites Ceci to the movies to keep her from meeting with Ed. Ceci is thrilled. Meanwhile Chayo has prepared a lovely dinner and is waiting for Ed to get home early as Candy said he would. And waiting and waiting. She ought to know by now, to not light any candles until he actually walks through the door. She must waste lots and lots of candles on that loser.

Lounging in the parlor, Santiago hears someone in the hall, perks up his ears, and even though his back is turned, he knows it’s Candy, whom he didn’t know was staying there. (That’s not as incredible as it seems. Once I was outside at night, felt a bug walking on my arm, and although I couldn’t see it, I knew instinctively it was a tick. But ticks turn my thoughts to Marissa rather than Candy. Candy more resembles a wolverine.) He throws a pillow at her to make sure she’s not a ghost.

She explains that Isabel let her stay there. For rats? No, for Pats. She mentions she just came from a horror movie, and she wonders why they don’t make romantic comedies anymore. Well, I know of a certain telenovela… She asks what Santiago is reading. It’s a magazine article about his mother and her paintings. Not Isabel, but Jaime Camil’s mother Cecilia de Gama, with a full-page picture. Not wanting to lose the moment, Santiago invites Candy for TV and popcorn like before. Candy says she’d love to, but now he’s an engaged man.

Candy is about to climb into bed when Santiago comes to her door to ask an important question. “If I weren’t engaged, would you marry me?” She’s not willing to answer and tries to brush him off, but he says, “I love you.” She refuses to hear him, so Santiago’s good buddy Chava relays it for him, “He said he loves you, Mama.”

Alicia has a rerun of her nightmare with Pat and Candy trading lamprey kisses. Alicia turns away in disgust. So do I. She wakes up alone in bed; Pat has fallen asleep in a bedroom chair.

Chayo has packed a small suitcase and she is writing a note for Ed. She needs to be alone for a few days to sort things out. She considers staying with Soledad, but instead decides she’ll be more at peace at the institute.

Rocío is ready for school, and Abuela and Papa remember when she was little, and the difficulties Santiago had as an abandoned father, learning to fix his daughter’s hair. He says Rocío was so scared of the barrettes, they were more like little piranhas to her (pienetas parecen como pirañitas). Isabel says that for all his skill as a surgeon, he never learned to comb little girls’ hair. Personally, I think he believes hair is supposed to look like a wild mop. I enjoyed this useless scene because my three favorite characters are playing together. The cameraman falls asleep at the end of the scene, and Camil chuckles because he has to fill in until they remember to call “Cut.” Or maybe the director is just enjoying his trim figure in that shirt, and doesn’t want the scene to end.

Isabel has Donato take Tina to her doctor’s appointment for testing because of the lump she found.

Meño sees Patricio at an outdoor sculpture gallery. Meño teases that Pat’s friends might see them together and draw certain conclusions. Pat tries to explain that he has nothing against Meño, but he needs to take care of his son. In Pat’s defense, he didn’t object before, not when Meño made moves on him, not even when he thought Meño was entertaining his 17-year-old friend upstairs (which is extremely creepy regardless of gender), only when Meño was cross-dressing in front of the boys. Pat advises him, “I know the truth about Chava’s mother.” Pat expands, that he knows she was in prison and escaped.

Santiago finds Psychic Guy in his office but can’t quite remember who he is. “Oh, yeah, you’re from Beauty and the Beast.” Jorge corrects him, La fea más bella. (Personally, I think Santiago’s title is pretty accurate. And to those of us who were disgusted after a certain Cristina show, take note. With this line Jaime Camil has redeemed himself, at least in my book.) Santi answers, “Yeah, whatever it is. I don’t watch telenovelas; they’re all the same.” Still, he sings a little of the Fea theme song, prompting Jorge to ask if he watched it. “Oh, a little. Who didn’t?” Jorge gives Santi a different medallion but the same explanation, that when he finds the other half of the medallion, he will have found the true love of his life. Santiago tries to decline because he doesn’t believe in witchcraft, but Jorge says neither does he, and leaves Santi with the medallion. Santi may not believe in witchcraft, but he does believe in ghosts; he throws pillows at them!

Candy walks into the institute as Alicia is walking out. No near-miss this time! It’s the Bruja-ja in Guadalajara-ja! Alicia, the shorter bruja, gets in the first punch. “Don’t you care how much your lie hurt my mother and father?” Candy comes back with a left hook, “Did you enjoy stealing my husband?” Ali ducks out of the way, “I didn’t make him marry me.” Candy’s cross, “He married you because he couldn’t have me. You picked up the crumbs of love.” Then she throws right jab, “It all started because you slept with him the night before my wedding.” Bruja Baja throws a one-two punch, “That’s when he decided he wanted me, not you. And I’m going to tell him you’re alive.” Bruja Alta blocks and lands a powerful right uppercut to the chin, “Give me his phone number. I’ll call him myself.” Knock-down!

Alicia digs up her bitterness from its very shallow grave. She found Pat first, and things could’ve worked, until Candy showed up and took him. Candy rightly states that Alicia is terrified that Pat will find out she’s alive and leave Ali. Alicia rightly states that Candy is terrified that Pat will take her son; Alicia has figured out the Chava is Patricio’s. They debate whether or not that’s true. Candy claims that Chava is the son of one of the wedding guests. Ali doesn’t buy it. Little Miss Perfect wouldn’t sleep with the first chavo who comes along. They agree that they both want to stay away from the other. Candy reminds Ali, if she ever does tell Pat, he’ll drop her for Candy because he hasn‘t forgotten her. Alicia pretends that she’s not worried because Pat doesn’t love Candy any more, but Candy knows better because of Santiago’s reports. Ali leaves, and Candy goes into her office to scream.

I know I devoted several column-inches to that encounter, but this was the first time Candy and Alicia met, and they covered all the major points. If telenovelas are predictable (Is the pope Catholic? Is Colunga guapo?), we will hear these same arguments countless times. So here is the list in review. Heck! I can even refer to future conversations by item number instead of rehashing!
Alicia:
A1 You lied and your lie hurt our parents.
A2 Pat wants me, not you.
A3 I got to Pat first, and you stole him from me.
A4 You’re Little Miss Perfect who everyone adores.
A5 Threat: If Pat finds out you’re alive, he’ll take Chava.
A6 Don’t mess with me or else.

Candy:
C1 You stole my husband and you betrayed me the night before my wedding.
C2 Pat only married you because he couldn’t have me.
C3 Threat: If Pat finds out I’m alive, he’ll leave you for me.
C4 Don’t mess with me or else.

Pat doubts Soledad’s story that Chava’s mom is a fugitive, since Meño was surprised when he heard it. Sol says Meño was simply surprised that Pat knew. He’s about to leave, fed up that Sol is hiding something from him, but the urge to kiss starts and the urge to leave stops.

Santiago watches his girls playing on the lawn. He remembers when Lucía came to live with them, and he promised that he‘d be like a father to her. He talks to the memory of his brother; if only he could see how pretty she is now. But she’s just like her mother; she won’t take any lip from anyone. (Correct me if I got that wrong.) He jokes that Rocío is the prettier one, but admits they’re both pretty. Post-mortem sibling rivalry?

At the hospital, Tina thanks Don for bringing her, so she didn’t have to be alone. He assures her that with him around, she never has to be alone. Tina tells him she never got married because her father betrayed her mother and all men are alike.

Candy calls Santiago in tears; she wants to see him. Ed is talking to Santiago and he’s a wreck because Chayo left him. He claims he loves her, but Santi points out that he chases anything with a pulse and a skirt. Ed tries to say that Santi is the same way, but Santi wasn’t like that when he was married. He uses a little reverse psychology on Ed, telling him, “You’re free! Here’s you chance to have all the women you want without troubling your conscience. That is, if you ever had a conscience.” It’s working; Ed’s thinking he doesn’t want to be free of Chayo.

Pat is getting dressed, showing off his furry abs. As Alicia walks in, they trade potshots at each other, and he hides his shirt with the lipstick stain. Women, have any of you ever kissed a man’s collar enough to leave a clear lipstick impression?

Candy arrives at Santiago’s and she’s in a panic, terrified that now that Alicia knows she’s alive, Pat will soon take Chava from her. Santiago commits to help her. “We won’t let that happen. Of course I’ll help defend you, Candy. I’m here for you, wherever, whenever, however you need me. You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you?” Santi says Pat is a decent guy and wouldn’t take Chava, but Candy thinks he’d do it for spite. I’m struck by how rational Santiago is, in contrast to what a basket case Candy is, not just in this particular panic, but in all of her life. He sits her down on the couch just like he does when he counsels his daughter. He tells her she has to accept that she needs help from other people: her family, or a man, or a friend. He assures her, “I offer you my shoulder so you can rest, I offer you my arms so you can feel the support, and I offer you my heart to be a home for you and your son. That is, if you want that.”

Funny he should mention that. On the lawn, Chava tells Rocío that her papa likes his mama. Rocío calls him a liar because her papa likes Marissa, and she refuses to play with him.

In Santiago’s office, Pat asks for Chivi-Chivi’s phone number. Somehow he just can’t get her out of his head, and he wants to call her. Unless of course she sits on Santiago’s team bench. Santi gives him the phone number. Let’s see, Pat has been steered toward Lulu, Soledad, and Meño so far. What other singles are left?

At the restaurant, Meño reminds Candy that Ali won’t tell Pat she’s alive; Rehash #C3, and a bit of Rehash #C1. He says she turns into Dr. Jekyl any time anyone mentions Pat. He didn’t hide the truth about Ali from Candy; he just put it away because he was afraid she’d do something irrational. Gee, why should he think that? She complains that nobody tells her what’s going on and they treat her like a little girl. Gee, why should they think that?

Pat calls the number he got from Santiago, and asks for a date with someone who is muy, pero muy eager to meet him. On the other end of the line, we see Hortensia ready to name their first child after the man of her dreams, except that she doesn’t know what his name is. No matter. He met the important criteria: he talked to her.

Isabel counsels Tina about her fears of cancer and gives her support and encouragement.

Candy and Chava move their suitcases back into their own house. She tells him not to worry about Rocío being angry at him because it’ll blow over. (After all, how long can a person stay angry? Don’t answer that.) He’s upset because she called him a liar when he told the truth – Santiago really does like his mama. He runs upstairs and she thinks to herself, “We needed to come back here. Some things worry me more than Alicia. I can’t stay in Santiago’s house. It’s too much temptation for both of us.”

Isabel brings papers to Santiago in his study, papers he doesn’t want to see. It’s her will, and he tells her, “I don’t want to think about a time when you won’t be with me. Take your papers somewhere else, but not here.” She reminds him that one day she will die, like it or not.

Alicia walks into Candy’s house and asks her point blank, “Who is your son’s father?” just as loose-lipped Chava walks into the room.

Tomorrow: Marissa's Doctor says she pregnant. Candy confronts Pat face to face, in a wig and huge sunglasses.

Closing thoughts. Do you remember that I said that plot progression in Tontas is less like a continuous train ride and more like a grand tour? You stay in London exploring everything for a week or several, then you move to Paris and stay there exploring, until it’s time to move on to Rome. Well, friends, in the past few days, what have we have seen?

  • Meño told Santiago to dump his novia and don’t lose Candy.
  • Santiago is changing. He’s working on getting Candy into his life instead of into his bed.
  • Santiago raised the marriage question much more seriously and told Candy he loves her.
  • Candy admitted to herself that her attraction to Santiago is strong.
  • Psychic Guy gave Candy & Santiago their medallions of media naranja (half orange).
  • Alicia found out Candy is alive, and Pat encountered Candy face-to-painted-face.
  • Marissa is starting to get ugly, and in her doctor tells her she's pregnant.

    Friends, I think Big Ben’s chimes say it’s time to pack our suitcases. Anyone for a croissant?

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  • Comments:
    This comment has been removed by the author.
     

    I found two other interesting clips for you. First, another clip of Jaime Camil's mother. This clip shows more of her paintings, as referenced in tonight's cap.

    Second, last week I posted the link to Isabel & Jaime's song, Somos Novios, featuring Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. This week I came across a clip where Manzanero is singing it, and the novios in the clip are a couple you old telenovela veterans are sure to recognize.
     

    Wow, nice job weaving the innuendos and LFMB references within your retelling of the action! I'm so glad this wasn't my night to recap, I definitely would not have gotten all the inside LFMB jokes or the reference to JC's real-life mama.

    Thank you for enumerating the argument between Al and Candy. I'm sure you're right that we will hear it over and over. Your number system will make it so much easier to recap!

    Cute clips and, ja ja, great title. Thanks so much for the recap Paula, it really clarified a number of things for me.
     

    Thanks for the recap Paula H. And your info on Jaime's mom and the LFMB references. I got a real kick out of your numbered Alicia and Candy lines...you know you'll be using those in the future.
     

    I thought the LFMB references in the show were hilarious and they even resurrected the medallion necklace bit. I love how Rosy always manages to link in some of her stars real life families. Look at all the references to Chivas of which Jackie is a huge fan.

    I've rarely seen Rosy novelas were there is endless rehashing. They usually move so fast there isn't time for it.

    Hats off to Choyo for packing up and moving out. I loathe doormats and she has always been one. Maybe Ed will stop his skirt chasing ways before he ends up with some nasty STD.

    Speaking of STD's Pat continues to revolt me no matter how good he is with the kids. He jumps into bed with Soledad then immediately tries to get the clown's number. No matter how rotten Alicia may be even she doesn't deserve a pig like him.

    There were several mentions the other day wondering why Pat didn't recognize Candy's voice. One of the first things you lose when someone dies is voice memory. My husband died 5 years ago. I had his voice on the answering machine and would call myself just to hear him. Then I changed phones and when I tried transferring the message I lost it. I had a major flip out sobbing now I knew I had lost him forever. Now try as I might I can't hear him and that is probably the same for the shallow Pat.
     

    If I recall correctly two of the items in the previews show that Marissa's Doc says she pregnant and that Candy confronts pat face to face (in a wig and huge sunglasses).

    I felt like tonight things really got moving and I really appreciate the humor in these episodes... It is so lighthearted compared to most novellas.

    Mauni in Wa
     

    Paula, an absolutely top-notch recap as usual. I was laughing the whole way through. I especially appreciate the explanations of the LFMB and meta references since I knew I was not getting a lot of the jokes.

    One of the previews showed Candy wearing a blonde wig, introducing herself to Pato as Candy, then kissing him while Santi stands by looking shocked. Not sure of the context for this.

    This was a really fun episode. Action! Plot progress! I really like Santi and Chava teaming up.
     

    I caught another two inside jokes. Just before Psychic Guy arrives. Santi enters the inst asking for Marissa. Candy says he knows she's not here, and if he came to see Candy, she's had a rotten day. He answers, "Pardon me, Miss Center of the Universe (Jacque was Mexico's Miss Universe contestant), the whole world wants me." Note, not "you" but "me" because the press has been hounding Camil so much.

    When Lulu gushes to Psychic Guy and Candy and Santiago look each other up and down, the only thing I can figure is that they both were in LFMB (Jacque had a small part). But I still think I'm missing something.
     

    Great recap, very funny, loved all the lists, the background references and the way you analyze things. Yes, I'm ready for Paris!

    This was a wild episode, with a few things that didn't make too much sense, such as Candy was going to disappear, but before she even gets to that, she decides to play a game to catch Ed and Ceci, and switches houses twice (and we never did see anything at the movies - you'd think they'd show something with Ceci).

    And of course Candy never admitted she was wrong about Ed and Ceci. Maybe they'll have more on this tonight, or maybe they won't.

    I also wonder how come Soledad never seems to have to worry about Beto when Pat and she have their "meetings". I guess it's during the day, but doesn't she work at the Institute?

    Maybe I'm thinking too much. Can't wait to see what happens tonight, though, when (judging from the previews), everyone's life REALLY goes haywire!
     

    It's been a hellacious day so I'm just getting to Caray Caray and enjoying your super recap, Paula. Love the bruja-ja (brouhaha) in the title, the numbering system and your closing paragraph about packing our bags for London. Also the inside jokes and the reference to Camil's mom which I didn't catch. It was an elegant recap, m'dear.

    Now....did anyone else think the "six-pack" grooves on Patricio's belly were painted on? Looked very unnatural. I understand they use brown shading pencil to make breasts look deeper and abs look more notched and certainly he did not appear to have Colunga type abs...just some artwork.....Where's that pencil...I could use one!
     

    Hombre I agree with you that Soledad doesn't seem to think much about Beto or is sure to mention he is playing someplace or asleep so she can get it on with Piggy Pat. My recording cut out before those interesting sounding previews so let's hope it isn't all just a big tease or someone daydreaming.

    I had forgotten the Center of the Universe crack but at the time forgot that Jackie had been a beauty pageant representative and though Santi was taking shot at Candy always thinking the world revolved around her. In a way it was a doubly effective comment.
     

    Incredibly detailed recap, I know this took you forever!! Also kudos to Hombre, whose recap I just read as well. I was occupied during these shows and didn't really get to see much of either one.

    Ironically, I was at a kid's birthday party this weekend and some friends of my friend had also dressed up to do the clown show. I'm sure I've seen them and talked to these people before, but really, I couldn't recognize them and initially thought it was someone else I knew. It was odd, and it was amazing the conversations we had about who liked and feared clowns. It's quite a universal phenomena.

    I will have to watch with more attention the La Fea linked scenes. I did get the glimpse of Jorge and thought what the heck, here we go again? Is he like Ocampo's personal spiritual advisor or something? He's certainly not a good actor. Lame, but whatever. Again it beats murder and violence for sure.

    Thanks for all the links and details. Super job.
     

    Judy, I also thought those abs looked drawn on but I didn't want to look closely enough to be sure! The shadowing didn't match the lighting in the room or something. I don't know; it was weird.

    And, to answer the lipstick-on-the-collar question, ummm...no. First of all, unless you're a vampire, who goes straight for the neck? The lipstick that's going to come off does so more in the mouth vicinity, I should think. Also, just throw that shirt in the hamper, Pato. If the invisible Eva was going to say anything about lipstick marks and mysterious perfume, surely this wouldn't be the first time.
     

    Decie Girl...I felt so sad hearing how you lost your husband's voice. I always regret not saving the taped messages my father left for us during the last year of his life.

    However, I do believe...that if you ever actually heard that voice again, even with your eyes closed, you would recognize it as his. You just can't imagine it...but that is different from actually hearing it.

    Hoping you have many tender and joyful memories to treasure, even if the sound of his voice has faded.
     

    Judy,

    I do have some tapes we made on various trips and the kids have video but the phone was so handy. Oddly enough the other day the kids mentioned that they used to call and hope I wouldn't answer the phone just so they could hear his voice. Soon after he died one of the grandkids said the thing he missed the most was Papa's laugh.

    In any event I think Pat is so shallow that he doesn't think beyond the moment and getting someone, anyone in the sack. I think that is what he misses about Candy and also the fact that she was so submissive and adoring of him. I think that is also what attracts him to Soledad. Pat could never be happy with the independent woman Candy has become. That would be way too threatening to him.
     

    Yes Decie Girl...I think that's how the story is going to veer...Pat will discover that Candy no longer is the submissive girl he loved and that will clear the way for the Santiago/Candy romance. But first we have to deal with Marissa's pregnancy...ay yi yi!
     

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