Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Fuego, Wed., Feb. 4: The enemy of my enemy is my husband.

Well that was a nice Countdown with Keith Olbermann intro. Speaking of interesting music; let’s drum-up a gay afternoon orchestra and play light, airy British picnic music as Gabi tells herself she’s the Angel of the Apocalypse…Bwahahahaha. More like Angel of halter tops gone amiss. Clearly, the musical director kicked back a few of whatever Ricky keeps in his secret pouch before compiling today’s melodious mix of mishap. It’s the perfect interlude for a declaration of war—that is, if you’re fighting over who get’s the last short bread cookie at a riverside brunch…

Sally Scarface feels compelled and confident enough to repeat something Six-feet under Raquel told her about Sofia; it’s probably not true. As if we didn’t know since day one, Sofia’s real mommy is Eva. And everyone in North America knows, except Sofa who, among other things, lacks a cable connection and much less a tin can and string. Don’t you all be so surprised all at once.

Well, we know Gabi is thinking clearly again on account of the flowing amounts of liquor. Some people are simply better when they’re not conscious. As if this weren’t enough, Coyote is now officially public enemy “numero uno,” and will probably attack her at any time now. That’s why she has taken up the custom of shooting at anything that isn’t her beloved goblet. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t shoot her ex-husband because, as Thomas Jefferson Washington Carver so prophetically said; the enemy of my enemy is my husband…

Seems that PadTad had a run-in with one wild, demonic donkey and lived to tell about it. The whole town, or at least the small handful of people who weren’t holding out for his downfall, is present and is lead in a recalcitrant chant commemorating the great Paddy by the ever-clueless Quinti. However, nothing was sweeter to my ears than the heartfelt rendition of “Ave Maria” Franco so generously regaled to us. I am confident that you will appreciate the true beauty after considering that this is post-South Beach marijuana bust; it’s obviously taken a lot for him to return to voice-over quality in a sound-controlled booth. Hallelujah, PadTad, Jesus and the Saints.

After many years of desperately searching for a reason to be bitter and kill innocent people, Sally finally summons Juan to get payback for Ricky’s brutal murder of the only remaining proof that someone actually found her desirable many, many moons ago. Can’t you see that memories of the drunken sex-capade are all she has left to cling to? You must kill Ricky, Juan-y.

The girls are all like “what a lovely mass, and Franco should open the SuperBowl, blah, etc., blah.” Gabi’s all like “did he die, did he die? God, I hope so.” No, he’s alive and preaching to any inanimate objects that will listen. “What a pity,” only she thought bubbles this one because she’s so drunk she forgot about her own personal vendettas and is just more “chill” like this. Note to criticizing AA rep. Sofia and discerning reader: If the traps, landmines, tree explosions, cyanide pills, heart conditions, and hidden strings on the steps didn’t kill her, it’s almost certain that the alcohol won’t either.

In a performance worthy of Mighty Joe Juan Robles-Reyes, Ricky goes to Sally in a fearful fit of tears and “forgive me’s.” She breaks down into one of her blind rages and delivers a performance curiously reminiscent of that of little Hellen Keller in the 2000 ABC remake of “The Miracle Worker.” No, honey, that's the well, I'm over hear. That’s just like life to introduce us to our estranged narco-trafficking children and take them away before we can formally accept to ourselves and others that they are the biological fruits of our loins.

In keeping with tonight’s British country side war scene Sundays, Juan is on his own less-taken war path of vengeance for Ricky’s wrongdoings. Just when you thought his thickheaded astuteness and insistence were unbreakable, Root convinces him not to kill the father of her late brother. As if he were even remotely capable, he asserts that he will gather the compromising evidence to ruin Ricky for good. See, look, I have a piece of paper he once signed in my armoire—clearly that means he killed Raquel. And see this belt; Gabi had it in her possession, so that means he killed my parents. And he thought Fernie would have been old enough to kill his parents… Yes, this scene is the culmination of a year of torturous ignorance and naïveté. Pinch me, I’m dreaming…

After taking his own son’s life, the only way Ricky can make it right is by taking more lives. Like, for instance, Gabi, who, as we all know, forced Ricky to kill Coyote. Then of course, there’s that whore Sofia who probably looked at Coyote the wrong way. Quick, while he lets go of Sofia, go tell Juan that he’s got Sofia at gun point. The monstrous Ricky goes for a stab at Gabi. Just then Fernie intervenes with his gun. If she dies, then there’s no hope at him becoming universal heir or even horse-shit scooper-upper. Not so fast, because faster than a speeding bullet is a speeding 45-year-old man in boots and mariachi gear. Take that, old man, and that, and that. How do those spurs taste? Just like WWF, Juan runs up the stairs, sits on Ricky’s face, then rolls him down the stairs. You killed my parents, I kill you. Now taste this leather belt. Gasp! If only we could all put 40 years of history behind us and all get lives… “Beg me, beg me.” Juan contemplates killing Ricky. Yes, even though this is something Juan thought about every day of his life and dreamed about in the womb, the subject still requires more contemplation. In this side of the ring, Gabi is encouraging the death of this murderer. In the other corner Sofia, who is pretty much the town psychologist, convinces Juan to not kill Ricky. That’s right; turn him over to the local (equally incompetent) authorities. Just when you thought the sheriff was going to lock Ricky away for the night, Ricky punched him out and ran away. I am so putting in for a federal grant for this police locale…

Thus, we have our wild horse chase. Which, I’m willing to bet is the same exact scene they used when Juan’s baby was missing and he went tumbling down the waterfall for a moon-light swim.

The other happy couple, i.e. Gabi and Fernie, are enjoying a nice cognac in bed while contemplating whom to kill next. How about my licentious daughter Root? We will kill her for having a better leather push-up. Indeed, dear.

So, Ricky is all out and about and shooting at shadows or anything else that moves. Then he sees Juan right in front of him and stops shooting. Just for that, he deserves to die. Anyway, the gangs all there in their Disneyworld ponchos and BB guns. I hope he’s ready to meet his maker…

Well, it just goes to show you, as in every other episode, if you get enough alcohol and barbiturates in someone, you can get them to make you the universal heir to their fortune. Provided they haven’t wasted it on halter tops and brandy.

Once an incompetent buffoon, always an incompetent buffoon. I can’t even describe how stupid this death scene was. But, if you have to know… Juan had several opportunities to kill his father’s assassin; but he didn’t. Then, Ricky almost killed Juan on several occasions; but he didn’t. Then Ricky almost fell off a cliff after Juan shot his snake belt (funny that the thing that killed his parents saved him), but Franco told Juan to pull him back up because “the Reyes aren’t killers.” So, Juan turned his back to the storm and almost got stabbed, except a Gardner snake slithered on Ricky’s boot and, sadly enough, forced him to drop his knife and fall off the cliff which was easily 30 yards away. Now the Reyes will never have to feel guilty about beating up an old man who might not have killed their parents. Yay for moral justice!

Labels:


Comments:
Gosh, nickster, thanks for the excellent recrap, and warp speed at that. Well done, old boy. I can't wait to watch my recording of this episode tomorrow. So Darth is dead? Whoa! The body count grows..... Too funny that a snake caused his death.

doris
 

Updated Death count score:

Ricardo Uribe's victims are:
1) Juan Jose Reyes
2) Maria Libia Robles-Reyes
3) Raquel Uribe
4) Ricardo 'Coyote' Uribe JR.

Death by Snakebite:
1) Ricardo Uribe SR.

Fernando Escandon's Victims are:

1)Bernardo Elizondo
2)Libia Reyes
3)Petra the old hag
5)Anselmo Cruz
4)Mapache
6)Right Armando
7)Rosario Montez
8)Doctor 'Matanasos' Gomez


What an action packed episode. Things are definitely moving faster here and I like that.

At mass, Quintina as usual has to be the center of attention. so what else is new.

Poor Ruth is really and trully all alone now. she needs a hug from us. ;) :)

The fight scene was ok. I was hoping that Fernando and Ricardo would kill each other. Alas, it is to be expected that they would screw this up. By this time,I expected Ricardo to get away from Rosendo and for the numerous attempts at manhandling Ricardo by the Reyes Brothers.... 3 against one and they had a very hard time. And he's an old dude. Just one question, with all that running away and chase scenes how did Ricardo find the time to put on that belt with the snake buckle? the very same one that Juan used to almost strangle him?

At least 'Justice is served'. The Parents deaths have been avenged. Now Libia's murderer is up next. Watch your back Fernando. Everyone is gunning for you. Booya!



Ibarramedia
 

Nickster, Simply great. I laughed all the way through.

Ibarramedia, I also thought the big showdown would be between Feo and Ricky. I am surprised that events are concluding so quickly especially with several weeks left (?)

Ruth was a very pathetic figure last night. Now she's lost the mother who raised her, her despicable father and found too late brother. As her birth mother would probably just as soon kill her as to look at her, she is really alone now. A tragic figure who may or may not survive as I don't know if she can be forgiven for the attempted murder of the children.

Now it's down to where it started -Feo and Gabi. What more evil will they perpetrate before it ends...Diana in MA
 

Awesome Nickster! I missed the last 15 minutes because my son called from Ft. Carson. I saw the Santa Muerte behind Darth. Woo hoo. We're running out of bad guys. How did Darth get that belt on so fast? And it can stop bullets apparently. The scene with Soledad and Darth was creepy. She really creeped me out for some reason.

My daughter said I was worse than a guy watching football! I said you should have been here when they wouldn't OPEN THE FRIGGIN BOX! Where is said box anyway?
 

I thought Franco was banned from singing Ave Maria! I had to hit mute. I just couldn't take it.
 

Ruth really has become the tragic figure now. Perhaps with everyone else in her family dead, she now inherits something worthwhile and she can go away and try to build a new life. Or maybe they will let her stay and run the crap store after they all get married and build a new road connecting the two great haciendas and form their own little fiefdom with the Coyote's marauding posse as town security.
 

My guess is that Root will ride off into the sunset, never to be seen again.
 

Hey Nickster, great recrap! Thanks for jumping on it so fast.
Didn't Juan shoot Ricardo right before he went over the cliff? It looked like the bullet hit the snake belt, but maybe that was one of those symbolic/flashback thingys, as Juan clearly was in last possession.
It must be in Franco's contract that anytime he enters a church, he has to warble "Ave Maria". (shudder)
"Creemelo", still sniveling a bit over Coyote)
 

very funny recap, Nick, as was the episode itself. Thank you. Seems like when they try to show some serious stuff, it comes out comical.I nearly split a gut where Feo/Ricky/Juan wre fighting especially Juan strangling Ricky with the belt- the expression on Ricky's face was just plain funny. (How did Ricky GET the belt, let alone put it on?)The Juan/Ricky fight at the brink, the gun tossing to Juan, the Ricky hanging over the edge, the SNAKE- it was all too funny! It reminded me of when we were kids and "fighting" hollywood style! Like it was choreographed by a 10 year old! On a more serious note- When did Oscar regaing the use of his legs enough to ride a horse- that's a bigger miracle than Pad Tad's recovery! I was surprised that they did Ricky in so quickly, I though that they would drag that out for a while, it just seemed anticlimatic. I think that I speak for a lot of us when I say that the show is getting fun now!
 

One last observation- thankfully, thankfully, they spared us the full-length version of "Ave Maria"...
 

So who is next Feo or Crabi?
 

Feo, for sure. Crabi will be last..
 

Connie: I'm with Dave, I think Feo will be next. Also, I don't think Crabi will die. I think her punishment will be to live but as a shell of her former self, perhaps felled by a stoke. Simply a guess, I have no idea what will happen. I think to suffer in such a manner would be a worse (but fitting) punishment. I think any mother who tries to kill her own child or grandchild (she did both) deserves no less.

Creemelo, I miss Coyote too.

Diana in MA
 

I miss Coyote too. I think Crabi will die either by fire or by being in an enclosed space. Feo--I'm not too sure. He's killed or attempted to kill in so many ways. The snake and Darth was just silly.
 

Thanks, Nickster for another super funny recap. It doesn't matter at all that you don't watch everyday. You may not have known that PadTad was stabbed by Feo, but you completely captured the moment anyway.

I'm voting for Ruth to go to the convent, and Soledad to sort of adopt her as honorary hija. Not sure how Ruth would adapt the nun's habit to her style of dress, but it could be "revealing".

I can't imagine what they're going to do to drag this thing out for 3 1/2 more weeks, with so many of the bad guys already dead. Maybe Juan could be blamed for some of the murders, and Sofia could go around telling everyone that Juan couldn't have done it, he's "incapaz". Which we know applies to more than just murders.
 

Connie - ITA. That snake thing just just plain lame.

Root in a convent. Now there's an idea . . .
 

Thanks, Nickster for the fab recap!

My guess is that when Eva finds out that she is Sofia's real mother, Eva will still accept Root as her "hija", just like she did with Rosario. Considering all the times Eva told Root she'd give her very life for Root, I believe she'd love Root like a mom. Root may just redeem herself after feeling a mother's love for the first time in her life. Who knows, she may confess her crime to Sofia about placing the snake in the baby's bed.

Since Darth is dead, isn't Root the only person who knows of Crabi's complicit role in the Reyes' parents murders (she convinced Darth to commit the murders)? Will Root help expose her evil mom????

I'm still sad about Coyote. Why did he have to die? Maybe he had to die so he wouldn't stain his hands with the blood of vengeance. Just like Darth died w/o Juan or his brothers becoming murderers.

Paty
 

Connie, if you are still wondering about the box with Libia's necklace:

You may recall that Feo accidentally left it in the safe when he packed his bag, and then Oscar and Franco stared at it for a while without opening it and then Feo came back for it and stuffed it into his bag.

Then Feo went to the church (or the rectory) and stuffed his bag into the hollow-bottomed pedestal beneath the St. Francis statue.

Nobody's ever going to think to look there, but the necklace has to be found, so I assume that the pedestal's going to get knocked over by mistake.

Either that or by some Mexidoon miracle, the statue will begin to cry, prompting an investigation.
 

Great as usual, Nickster. As Dorado Dave mentioned, the gun tossing by Franco to Juan was hilarious. Why not waste a few precious seconds tossing a gun to your brother while he is about to be shot by a crazed Darth while Franco could easily have been able to hit Darth. I guess Juan as older brother has the pleasure of shooting Darth. GinCA
 

Great recrap, Nickster. It was a pretty action packed episode, with only Soledad getting in any weeping. I thought the scene with Ricky and Soledad was pretty well done.

I gotta bad feeling their way of putting off the big triple boda is going to be Juan blaming Sofía for not telling him Darth did in the folks. Of course, she won't be smart enough to just keep her trap shut!

I was roaring with laughter when Juan shot Ricky in the snake belt. Too perfect!
 

Julie, a crying statue would be so fitting to go along with PadTad's miracle healing. I like that idea. GinCA
 

I was actually thinking that Darth would get fried by a bolt of lightning. How and when did Darth regain possession of the belt? So, the bullet just bounced off the buckle...clank?
We are surely in for one more breakup, there's nothing else that would spin this out 3 1/2 weeks.
But with Coyote gone, it's already over for me...
"Creemelo"
 

Novelera: "I gotta bad feeling their way of putting off the big triple boda is going to be Juan blaming Sofía for not telling him Darth did in the folks. Of course, she won't be smart enough to just keep her trap shut!"

I am totally with you on this one. I was thinking "uh-oh" as Slofi confessed to her sisters that she had concealed this truth. And we all know where concealment of truth has lead to in the past. It could translate into muchos episodios.

And, nickster, don't think I am ignoring you. Muchas gracias for a great recap. Something about your take on all this cuts right through all this ridiculousness to the core. None of it makes ANY sense, but we love it!
 

"blind rage" that was a keyboard/diet coke moment!

Rico's death was to fast and stupid.

I hope all the dead get together and haunt Feo. I like when the actor is flipping out.

I hope Juan is going to go say you are moving out now you owe that woman nothing she isn't your mother.

Maybe Pedro will come back and be as smitten with Ruth as he was Sarita and it can be a quad wedding.
 

I have to admit I like the way Feo is cracking up also. The actor is great whether he's spitting madly or cackling insanely about someone having died that he didn't have to kill himself.

Once Sofia figures out that Gabi's not her mother, Gabi will have no fortune, right? Everything will finally belong to Sofia. So it would be great if Gabi was reduced to living by herself in the cabana on Sofia's charity for the rest of her life. Eva, of course, will get to live in the hacienda with her daughter and granddaughters.
 

Soledad and Root should go live with the rest of the clan at the Hotel Robles-Reyes. I really thought Soledad might live with them after Coyote died. But apparently not.

So when is that little box going to pop up and bite somebody in the butt (namely Feo)? They will probably spend the whole night passing it around and NOT looking in it which means I will again be yelling at the TV.

Why didn't they have funerals for Raquel and Coyote? Will El Jefe get out of jail and make another appearance?
 

Nickster--you are the only one whose recaps make me laugh out loud--of course I am at a desk and supposed to be working so it is hard to explain to fellow workers!

Mayber Ruth could also join the convent????

Nancy in Tucson
 

Thanks everyone! Welcome to Paty and Nancy--you've picked the best time to join our group--just before your thinking skills could be altered by our "special" protagonists.

If there's one thing I love, it's livening up the work scene...
 

Thanks you, Nickster for the recrap. I also enjoyed all the comments you guys made. Dorado Dave ~ You are so on the money...That scene between Juan, the bros, the snake , and Darth was something only a 10-yr-old boy could have staged. I, too, was disappointed. I wanted Darth to go out in a weird , wild blaze of evilness. Instead...we get bizarre and dumb. Well, at least this show is consistent. I can't believe they killed off Coyote . Other than being a fashion victim [that sad little fox collar] , he was supposed to be the avenging guardian angel. Que lastima. Anyhoo, in for a penny, in for a pound...I plan to stay to the bitter end. I am able to do so by holding on to the vision of a new novela starring Fernando as soon as we pack up and leave Mexiloon to the Mexilooonies.
 

We all might as well stay till the end. It is not much more and i'm hoping they will combine the last episodes that were ran for 30 min. in Mexico into one full hour. It might cut it to a week or two sooner.

Lol. @ Ruth in the convent. i've seen some sexy nun outfits in comicbooks. She could wear the nun's habit with her boots and bare midriff completed by a huge crucifix necklace. I hope I don't get struck by lightning. Lol.


Ibarramedia
 

I just hope they move on to the next day so Gabi can get out of her shoulder-less getup. Ruth is having a bad influence on her mother!
 

Oh I am definitely in it to the end, with FELS. It finally has become entertaining ... and fun! ;-)
 

I mean we've come this far... Might as well go all the way.

Btw looks like Ruth has some nice frim athletic legs. Sarita is showing a little bit more cleavage lately.

I wonder who would have the best dance moves in a dance off. Ruth,Rosario,Maracuya or Jimena Too bad we don't have a poll function in this board. Sorry ladies. ;)


Ibarramedia
 

Ibarramedia, it's so not fair: the girls are showing plenty of cleavage, meanwhile showers and waterfalls have dried up...
"Creemelo"
 

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