Caray, Caray!

Many of us never get to live the fantasy lives of telenovela characters. Well, after tonight’s show, we might want to give thanks that we don’t have their problems. Things are really starting to fall apart for some of our good characters, and the “bad” ones are really starting to wake up and be their bad selves. Also, I’ve often thought that in this show, no one is completely good or completely bad. But tonight we meet a truly bad character.

First, we revisit Pat thanking Candy, who is “confused” over whether she loves Santiago, for the best day of his life (the camping trip). Later, at the Institute, Candy is staring into space as Marissa brags about the honeymoon. Candy doesn’t want to lie, she can’t get Santi out of her head. As she leaves, Mari threatens Candy under her breath.

And now, to start our fun, we have Santi, half asleep on the couch at work (having missed a lot of sleep for Mari’s midnight munchy madness), being roused by Ed, who reminds Santi it’s not sleepytime, they have to do some operations. When Santi explains about Mari’s sudden cravings (antojos), Ed says it’s a myth, just don’t fall for it. But Santi points out that Ed has never had kids, and when he does, he’ll be pulling out all the stops for them (he says he’ll be doing circo, maroma y teatro, which literally means circus, tightrope and theater, maybe someone can help me with the cultural meaning of this phrase?). Talk turns to Hortensia, and Ed lets it slip that Horti’s got a galan!

We now see Jaime playing the white piano (with John Lennon’s picture on it) for Isabel, playing a little Solamente Una Vez, as she sings along. Enter Donato, with a longing expression on his face (we now know he’s got it bad for Isa). Isa beckons Don over with a playful finger, and Don pictures himself in an elegant suit, extends his arms, and they dance a few bars, with Jaime’s approval, until reality comes back, and Don shyly backs out of the room.

Santi wishes his office door would open and Candy would walk in. This being a novela, she does. It’s not exactly romantic, though. She can’t get him out of her head. Neither can he, he couldn’t sleep the other night because of this. They have to figure out a way to stop thinking of each other. They sit down to contemplate. After a few false starts, Candy has it! When Santi thinks of Candy, just call Marissa and tell her. When Candy thinks of Santi, she’ll just call Marissa and tell her. Great idea, says Santi, and dials Marissa’s number. What are you DOING?! shrieks Candy, as Santi tells Mari on the phone he was thinking of Candy (maybe this wasn’t such a good idea).

Patricio is standing around when energizer bunny Alicia pops in with her usual “Hola, mi amor!”. Pat queries, isn’t she going to scold him? Nope. But he didn’t sleep home last night, doesn’t that bother her? No, should it? Well, Pat says, I spent the night with Chava and Candy. So?, responds Alicia, not taking the bait.

It turns out Marissa isn’t so happy about Santi’s call, and she’s coming to the office right now. Santi tells Candy it was her idea, but Candy protests it was just a metaphor, a figure of speech, she didn’t mean they would REALLY call Marissa, and now Mari will suffer. Santi is defending himself when Marissa bursts in to find out what’s the big idea of telling her this on the phone. Candy thinks the situation is ridiculous and walks out (but doesn’t really leave – she’s lost in thought outside the door). After Marissa reminds Santi instead of thinking of Candy, he should be thinking of the baby, she walks out, and talks to herself in front of the elevator, unaware that Candy can hear. Here’s what she says: “Let’s see who ends up losing, Santiago.” She then looks down at her tummy, which she calls “Gordo”, and tells he baby to be, “Here’s a phrase for tomorrow. He who laughs last laughs best”. As Mari gets in the elevator, Candy can’t believe what she just heard.

It’s time for some comic relief. Zamora and Toño notice a fly buzzing around the restaurant. They start trying to kill it with their cloth napkins, but Zamora seems to be having more fun hitting Toño, pretending the fly was on Toño’s shirt, his head, etc. Meño calls them over to stop the ruckus. He suggests bug spray, and Zamora says when he tries this, he misses (he says no le atino, atinar is to be accurate, or on target). Meño wants them to be quiet about the matter, but when he goes to help a customer, he leans over, and Sven and Ole notice the fly has landed on Meño’s butt. Toño wants to strike with the napkin, but Zamora says let the fly live, at least he’s happy where he is now. Meño tells them to get back to work as they continue to hit each other with the napkins.

Time for another Pat-Alicia confrontation. As usual, Pat is sitting around doing nothing (he’s actually hitting himself in the forehead over and over with a pen, I guess he’s supposed to be thinking) and Alicia bursts into the office, with her “hola”. She tells him she understands why he keeps contemplating things, but she keeps trying to save the relationship, and he isn’t doing his part. Well, Pat doesn’t want to do his part. He wants to be alone, and in this house, he can’t be alone, so he’s leaving. You’re leaving me? asks Ali as her happy face collapses into concern. “I’m going to a hotel”, responds Pat, and after kissing her on the forehead, walks out of the apartment, leaving Alicia standing there, as her gaze drifts over to the safe, which she knows contains some secrets.

Marissa is talking with Candy in Candy’s office for the millionth time, repeating how she can’t understand that they’re friends, partners, but how can Candy be in love with her novio, etc., etc. Candy reassures her yet again, saying Santi’s just a womanizer, Candy’s just another of his attempted conquests, but Mari doesn’t believe this for a second. However, when Candy confesses that she's starting to fall in love with Patricio again, (!) Mari lights up, hugs Candy, and tells her that changes everything!

More one on one (It’s amazing to me how many serious heart to heart conversations these characters have, and most of them take place at work. How do they ever get anything done?) This time it’s Santi and Ed, with Santi pondering the strangeness of Marissa, adding that she was strange to begin with, so maybe it’s nothing new. Besides, Santi has so many problems, maybe he’s just projecting his own concerns onto Marissa. But enough about him, he wants the scoop about Hortensia! Ed says he didn’t recognize the guy, didn’t even see him, but he heard him, and heard Horti call him dear (cariño). Santi doesn’t think this means a thing, anyone can say that, why there have been times when Santi was sitting around thinking, and Horti came into the office, wearing a nice dress, and…. he quickly stops himself from saying more.

Cut to Hortensia’s modest house, as she tells her “mystery date” she has the day off, and can spend it with him. She wants to spend more time with him (his name is Iñaqui, and to answer yesterday’s speculation, he’s not a blow up doll). She tells him he makes her very happy, and we see his smiling face.

Ed’s making fun of Santi, Santi must have thought he had Horti’s affections all to himself, and now there’s competition! Ed says let’s go to the house, and check out the guy. Santi demurs, he can’t invade the private life of his secretary, but then starts wondering what if this guy is taking advantage of her, Hortensia’s no rug to be stepped on! Ed likes this turn of phrase, where did Santi come up with that one? Well, Candy’s column, and (forgetting his previous privacy concerns) now thinks they have to protect poor Horti. Ed advises a phone call first. Santi calls, holding the phone so Ed can hear. Ed helps Santi by writing words on index cards, as Santi stumbles with why he is calling on Horti’s day off. No, it’s not an emergency, he was just curious, umm, she’s not hiding some galan, is she, haha? Of course not, says Horti, are you jealous? She’s just taking care of herself today. Santi doesn’t believe her. Horti says she doesn’t want to be an old maid, and if she got a man, she’d yell it to the four winds! Okay, Santi just wants to make sure she’s not abandoning him, and is coming in to work tomorrow. After hanging up, she tells Iñaqui it was her boss on the phone, but forget that, today she wants to devote herself to Iñaqui. She then gets a wheelchair out of the closet, which may explain why she was massaging the feet of her “mystery date”.

We then have a short scene in the ladies’ room in which Candy is talking to the mirror about Marissa, Lulu overheard, and Candy shares her feelings about the weird things Mari has been saying to her baby.

It’s a bet. Santi bets that Hortensia does not have a lover, Ed bets she does. The stakes? If Santi loses, Ed gets his parking spot. If Ed loses, Santi gets Ed’s collection of pictures and coins of Heidi and Kong Kong (maybe that’s how they say King Kong, who knows what this is, maybe something like film posters, hopefully we’ll find out. Well, then they use the word encuerado, which means naked, so maybe these are some girly pictures).

Close-up of Candy’s magic talisman, in Pat’s fingers, as he flashes back to when he picked it up after Candy had thrown it away. While Pat dreams away, we see Alicia sneaking around, 20 feet behind him. She quietly lifts his suit jacket off a chair, extracts his wallet. What is she looking for? She finds a small white piece of paper in the wallet, removes it, replaces wallet and jacket, and exits, while Pat continues to think about Candy, oblivious.

It’s time to settle that bet. Santi and Ed have driven to Hortensia’s house. It’s nightime, and the first view we have of our sleuths is of their heads peeking out from behind a wall, looking like a pair of kids about to sneak a cigarette in the schoolyard. They dash across the street and hide behind a tree, feeling (and looking) a bit ridiculous. Santi feels a bit “chinche”, which Ed doesn’t totally understand (and neither do I, since it can mean irritating, a pain in the neck, but it can also mean a thumbtack) spying on Horti like this. They both are anticipating winning the bet.

Inside the house, Hortensia encourages Iñaqui to try to stand up from his wheelchair, but he can’t. She tries to get him to try again, telling him he shouldn’t let an accident leave him paralyzed, the therapist said his legs do have strength, he should give it his best shot (echale ganas). The doorbell rings. Hortensia is astonished to see Santiago and Eduardo at her house. They say they were just in the neighborhood (yeah, right), but the guy in the wheelchair recognizes Santi, and then solves our mystery. He’s Hortensia’s brother! Santi has won the bet (but we’ll talk about that later). Santi wonders why Horti never said she had a brother, but Iñaqui told Horti to keep quiet, didn’t want to hurt Horti’s job, knew it was hard to care for a sick person like himself. Santi slaps Ed as if to say you should be ashamed of yourself for what you thought.

Meño asks Candy about the camping trip, admits that Pat asked Meño to help him, and he agreed. Candy can’t understand this, when she thought Meño favored Santi. Well, Meño likes both, and suggests a solution – Candy should let Santi get married, be Santi’s lover, and marry Pat!

Back to Mariloco. Raúl asks if she’s serious about leaving Santi after the wedding. Finger twitching, she affirms it, since he laughed at her, laughed at her love. Then why not just leave now, asks her brother. Nope, they deserve to keep trying (Raúl can’t believe this). Mari asks if Raúl is jealous or envious of Santi. She reminds him that when they were kids, Santi always copied Raúl’s papers, Raúl always got 7’s and Santi always got 10’s. Also, Santi always got the girls. Raúl is a little touchy about this, and when Mari kids him some more, he wants her to leave him alone.

Back at Horti’s, everyone is enjoying Santi’s joke about the bell in his office, how once Santi had a hot chick in the office, wanted to ring the bell, and Horti said, no, no don’t ring it! Why not? Why can’t I ring the bell? Horti frantically pointed out that the girl was the Health Inspector, not a patient! Everyone laughs as Horti notes that that was before Marissa, of course. Santi goodheartedly acknowledges this, and then announces that the real reason he and Ed came to visit Hortensia was to give her some important news. They’re giving her a raise in salary! Hort is truly moved, as Santi goes on to say how much they like Iñaqui, and with two people living in this house, Santi and Ed know there are lots of expenses, and don’t want Hortensia and Iñaqui to have any money problems. Iñaqui wants to give Santi a hug. Santi wants to give HIM a hug, and they all lift Iñaqui out of the wheelchair for the hug, encouraging him to try to stand on his own. Santi says the therapist was right, you can stand, and keep trying, as this happy scene ends.

It’s morning, we’re in the restaurant, and Zamora and Toño have their heads under the table. They explain to Meño they were untangling (desenchuecando) the chair legs. He sends them off to the market as they inform him that a mysterious, mean-looking (malencarado) young man is waiting to see him. Meño introduces himself, but the young man won’t shake his hand. He’s Pedro, the son of Juan Alberto (Meño’s former boyfriend and partner). So how is Juan Alberto? My father died, replies Pedro, looking away. Meño is shocked and saddened.

At the Institute, Lulu informs Candy she has a visitor, Patricio. Candy doesn’t want to see him, she feels pressured. Lulu would love this kind of pressure, or maybe pressing against her, from handsome Pat. In fact, if Candy gets Pat to really press against her, she’ll name Candy her sole heir. Candy thinks Lulu is incorrigible, she’ll never change. No, she’ll change, says Lulu, the day she gets Pat in her bed, please make him press against her. So Candy goes to meet with Pat, who requests just 5 minutes to talk. Candy grudgingly grants him 5 minutes, but points out that only 4 minutes are left.

In the restaurant, Meño wants to know if Juan Alberto suffered, telling Pedro they were friends. With a menacing tone, Pedro says he knows exactly who Meño is. He doesn’t want to talk about his father’s death. He came to inform Meño that now Pedro is in charge of all the family properties, including this restaurant, and as of tomorrow, the place is for sale. Does Meño want to buy it? Meño wants to, but doesn’t have the money. Too bad, then, you’ll just have to find another job. Goodbye. Wait, says Meño, I also administer some offices (the Institute!). Fine, do you want to buy them? asks Pedro. Well, the money….. In that case, we’ll sell them too, and all the tenants will have to leave. Mean Pedro leaves, and Meño is devastated. He calls out his dead friend’s name, Alberto, Alberto!

So what can Pat do in 4 minutes? He gives Candy the talisman (which had been given to her and Santi, which she had thrown on the ground). She wants to know where he got it. Well, he found it, not really by accident, but he wants her to have it. He knows what it means, and he wants to be the man of her life. He invites Candy and Chava to a magical day. Candy chuckles, she remembers he had a magical day for her all those years ago. Romantic dinner, moonlight, and it was all ruined! He had set up a table in the woods, candles, red wine, everything was beautiful when she felt a raindrop. He didn’t feel anything. Oh yes, there was another. Two minutes later, it was pouring! And he hadn’t brought an umbrella. With all the magic in the world, Pat couldn’t stop the rain. So forget the magic day, it’s bad luck. Pat won’t give up, says he’ll pick up Candy and Chava for the magic day, and bye! He runs out, Candy chasing after, yelling are you deaf, I said no! Pat kisses a smitten Lulu on the way out, leaving a fuming (but maybe not really) Candy.

Back in Pat and Alicia’s apartment, we find out why Alicia wanted the piece of paper she took from Pat’s wallet. She opens the modern art outer door of the safe, crouches down, and takes the paper from her large handbag. It’s the combination! There are five groups of letters and five groups of numbers on it, I wouldn’t have a clue what to do, but Ali presses a few buttons on the keypad of the safe and it opens right up. After leafing through a few items, while holding the combination in her teeth, she extracts the large manila envelope (which Arturo had given Pat), looks at the papers, and after 2 seconds, thinks to herself “these papers show that Arturo committed fraud, I can use them”. (I must say, if Alicia doesn’t make it with Pat, she definitely could have a second career as a secret agent – move over, James Bond!). She stuffs the envelope in her bag, shuts the safe, and high tails it out of there, as the music pounds with excitement.

Meño is drinking some shots to deaden the pain, and after he tells Zamora he’s in a bad way, Pedro returns. He forgot to leave his card. He tells Meño to let him know when they’ve vacated the premises. Zamora hears this and worriedly asks about it, but Meño says leave us alone. Pedro then gets really brutal. Meño asks if Pedro’s father left Meño a note. Yes, says Pedro, and I burned it. You don’t know how much I hate you, he adds. My father defrauded me, and types like you should…..”Be killed? We should be killed?” interjects Meño. Even killing me won’t make me forget your father. “You disgust me” sneers Pedro. “Let's hope you die!” As he leaves, Meño overthrows a chair and smashes some china.

Our budding secret agent is at the copy store, her copies are ready.

Santi is replaying his own words about Marissa’s strange behavior in his mind, while absentmindedly turning his phone over and over. Is he strange, or is Mari? Little Miss Strange enters, and Santi suggests a talk on the couch. They both sit down, and he asks if she recognizes that she’s been acting a little strangely. She thinks maybe so, but isn’t it normal when he keeps thinking about Candy, etc., etc. He says things happen in life, then they pass. She then coolly tells him things happen which mark you for life, like for example, my child, I’m marked for life. He just wants her to be happy about the pregnancy. Well, don’t worry, she answers. Better yet, occupy yourself (there's a little wordplay on no te preocupes - don't worry and si te ocupas - if you occupy yourself). Stop being a Don Juan, and do worry about me, you, the baby. Deal? Deal, and they shake on it, but he doesn’t look any happier.

Alicia enters the apartment, closes the door quietly, opens the safe (she has the combination memorized now), replaces the envelope, closes the safe and the arty cover to the safe, just as Patricio calls her name, she sits down on the sofa, crosses her legs, tries to look natural, he enters and asks what she’s doing (which is a good question, since never before have we seen her just sitting there). She says she was thinking. He doesn’t buy this, what’s wrong? Well, she answers, you said our relationship was no longer the same, you were leaving the house, but you know what? I’ve thought about it, and I will not give you a divorce. Pat isn’t surprised, he wouldn’t expect differently from her, just one more reason for him to move to a hotel, he only came for his things. As he leaves, she can breathe again, at least she wasn’t discovered.

Speaking of divorce, Mari is again in Candy’s office (does Mari actually do anything in life besides go from office to office bothering people?), asking if Candy is going to divorce Patricio. Candy says no. (I think when Candy was gone, Pat had her declared dead, so they don’t have to divorce). But Candy wants to talk about something else. She can’t be the matron of honor at the wedding (madrina de la boda). Candy says Isabel should be the one. Mari protests, Candy promised at the commitment party, she doesn’t want all of Isabel’s peace and love crap. Then all of a sudden Mari changes her mind, actually it WOULD be a good idea for Isabel to be up there at the altar, Mari doesn’t even want Candy up there, wouldn’t want Candy to be confused. Confused? Sure, just imagine, the padre asks if I accept Santiago as my husband, and you jump out and say “yes”, no you’d better not be anywhere near that altar, you’re right, thanks for the idea, bye! She gets up, laughing weirdly, and Candy, a bit offended by all this says don’t provoke me! Maybe I’ll change my mind and decide to be the madrina and ruin your little joke. You wouldn’t dare! shoots back Marissa. You wouldn’t be capable of that! They glare at each other, and the episode ends.

Next time: The two meanings of esposas

Vocabulario:

antojos - cravings
circo, maroma y teatro - circus, tightrope (or somersault) and theater (jumping through hoops)
atinar - to be accurate, or on target
chinche - irritating, pain in the neck, also a bedbug
echale ganas - do your best, give it your best shot
desenchuecando - untangling
malencarado - mean looking
madrina de la boda - matron of honor

Labels: Tontas