Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Gancho Tuesday Nov. 17, '09 Wow, Some Smokin' Hot Criterion Behavior Tonight, Folks
Man, another delightful evening spent with the Gancho crazies. You had to love the twin passion scenes between Monita and Mauricio and Beto and Connie. And let's admit it, Connie and Beto are soooo hot together they make our "stars" look downright tepid. I was taken aback at how raw and visceral and appealing our scruffy Beto was tonight. Whew! Sign me up for the low road. I'm ready.
Better get back to business. We start with a tenderly humorous scene between Mauricio and Aldo. Aldo's apologizing for his part in the mess that's led to the forced marriage with Constanza, but also softening up dopey old forgiving dad so he can cop some money for more drugs. "Te alcanza con eso?" (Is that enough?) asks dopey dad, opening up his billfold immediately.
We shake our heads ruefully as we switch to a wine-tasting scene at the office. I loved this one because it reminded me of a gruesome blind date I had with the German brother-in-law of my Deutsch professor. This pretentious guy kept noting the woody, saucey blah blah flavors of the wine we were having with dinner and c'mon...give me a break. It's wine. I've never tasted a hint of raspberry in my life. Have you?
Anyway, Beto, bless his heart, hasn't either. He slugs down the first (hint of wood and raspberry), slurps down the second (just a bit of a citrus note) and over Lalo's protests and hysteria, Connie advises letting Beto drink all he wants (keep him sedated!) even though when the "strong, aggressive, just the way I like it" cabernet sauvignon is uncorked, Connie looks like she's ready to cancel the wine-tasting and just jump the Cromagnon's bones. Yeah baby!
Lalo can't take it anymore (he's an artiste and deserve respect!) and flounces out, leaving Connie to rub Beto up and down (is this supposed to sober him up) while he begs her not to marry Mauricio. Why? Because Beto loves her. You what!? Connie gasps. The camera does a closeup of her puzzled, panicked face. Hmmm. What should we make of this?
No time to ponder. We see a big shot of the sun. Then clouds passing. And in case we haven't gotten the idea, the words "several days later" appear. Okay then.
Constanza, looking somehow both wan and triumphant, is having the final touches of makeup before heading off to her wedding. Lalo is ecstatic. She's the most beautiful bride ever. Ximena is tactless. Hey, I was the most beautiful bride ever. Okay now it's your turn. But wait. Monita was fabulous in her wedding dress. Connie...you look.... alright (se ve bien, pasable). Wow, talk about being damned with faint praise. But our iron maiden doesn't wilt; Teresa arrives to say the limosine is waiting and off she goes.
Down in the boondocks (sorry,that song's going through my head) Paula and Estrella are attempting to console Monita by taking her out to...say...the zoo, for instance. As fun as that sounds, Moni would rather stay home in bed and just sleep until the wedding's over.
Suddenly. Yep. You guessed it. Mauricio appears. Looking like death warmed over. But Monita's in love so she says "Que guapo te ves!" I feel like I'm dying, going to my own funeral, sighs Maurio. Give me one last kiss. Big bodacious smooch while Paula and Estrella, Nieves and Alicia, all get that ahhhhhhhh look on their faces.
Back to reality. Lalo is bidding Connie farewell at the limo, chortling that at last they've reached their objective. And furthermore she's the prettiest, most glamourous, skinniest bride in his whole wedding career. (I can hear Mike saying "where's the beef?" right now). Connie hops in the limo and tells the driver briskly to hurry, she doesn't want to be late. Driver turns around. Beto! You'll be late, honey, so late you're never going to arrive at your wedding at all. Shazaaaam.
Barrio time. The Greek chorus of barrio ladies weep and wail and declare that Monita and Mauricio are meant to be together. Don't give up. True love conquers all. Celestial music plays. Put yourself in God's hands. Etc. etc. etc. Mauricio thanks them all but sez if it's all the same, I'd rather be alone with Monita right now. Greek chorus fades away, but not before one member, Nieves, worries aloud about Beto. He's been gone four days now. Where could he be?
Well, we know where he is now. Kidnapping the bride. You're crazy, wails Connie. Crazy with jealousy, he snarls. You're nobody. You're nothing but mine. Those lips, those legs, mine mine mine. Ya!
After the ads, the temperature drops 'cause we're back with Mauricio and Monita. Frankly, he's just being downright tedious. He looks dopey, he's apologizing for being "egoista" and then goes on and on about how he'll be under the same roof but not "with" Connie and Moni must WAIT for him, be PATIENT, PROMISE ME! ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
On the other hand, things are hot in the limo. Has Beto been drinking for four days? Hell no, he drank for three days and then spent the fourth sleeping off the hangover. But he's in love with Connie. Really in love. Not from the head, but from the heart, the soul. Pause. Connie, softly, I'm in love with you too.
Oooey, ooey ooooey, Beto pulls the limo over. He's ready to jump in the back and consummate that love. Pow. A well-aimed kick to the nether regions and Connie's free and ready to hail a taxi. What a woman!
Back in Monita's room, Mauricio is STILL talking. (If I were Monita, I'd reconsider at this point.) Her side of the conversation is more interesting. She promises to wait even until they're both old and ga-ga and living in the same nursing home. He'll get mad and chase her. By the time he catches her, he'll have forgotten why he was mad. We'll give each other our medication, adds Mauricio. They chuckle at the thought.
Quick. Back to Beto and Connie. No taxi. She tries boarding a bus but is repelled by three smelly guys hopping on ahead of her. Beto's recovered enough from his wound to give chase. She hurls her shoes at him. He hurls back, knocks her out with one well-aimed heel, does a little gorilla chest-thumping and hauls her back into the limo. Now there's a romance with some juice to it!
And now to another fine couple. We see Sal and Gaby wandering around a room of bored wedding guests, all wondering where the novios are. Sal is twitching madly, but at least he's in a suit and tie and back to paying elegant compliments to Miss Gabriela. She's beautiful, strong, charming (yes, yes, when I look in the mirror I see all that, she agrees) and the conversation ends with a very thorough very grownup, get-the-job-done kiss.
And alas, it gets the job done too well. Lorenza sees it and is further inflamed with desire for revenge and serious poisoning. Oily Oscar sidles up and encourages her to throw the whole darn bottle in Sal's drink the next time. And just wait, we'll have him locked up in an asylum pronto!
Back to our tepid lovers. Mauricio, looking quite disheveled, says he must go. One last big kiss. He turns, murmuring that he feels like he's going over a cliff. But wait. Monita runs after him. Jumps up. Hugs him. Wraps her legs around him. Wow. She finally found the light switch. So what if I'm late! he exults. They dive on the bed. Do you want me to hold back? he asks. Her only answer is more kisses. Clothes start to come off. Bueno. Nothing like having the wedding night before the wedding. And with a different bride. Works for me.
Same thing in the limo. Only better. Much better. How are you bad? Let me count the ways, Beto muses. She's bad like sour milk. I missed the rest. But there were a number of bad's. And what's more, she kneed him in the balls. No se vale. Me dañas. That's for sure. Connie comes to and starts to complain that Beto loves Monita. Sure I love her. I love her fighting spirit, her heart, her feistiness. But I love you too. Your kisses. Your lips. Your passion. Your skin. Your fragrance. You're like a wolf in heat. YOU CAN'T LOVE TWO WOMEN AT ONCE!, Connie snaps. I CAN, Beto snarls, pounding his chest. I can love two women. (You just know Beto is speaking for all macho men everywhere at this point. The poster child for a pair and a spare.)
Oh heck. We're back in Monita's room. Our lovers are in a state of "après l'amour" torpor. Mauricio is still lamenting though. I can't tell you good-bye. I'll come for you as soon as possible. Don't risk losing your kids, cautions Monita. Find a way to keep them and then get a divorce. And don't say "adios" " Hasta luego". Mau runs off. And the Greek Chorus enters. (Hope they weren't just outside the door listening. But they could have been.) They're all quite blue and a lot more tearful than our Monita who at least has just enjoyed some intense criterion behavior.
Speaking of...fire up your engines baby. "Cause Beto's gettin' ready to ride. He's messing up Connie's hair and wrinkling her dress. She protests. He starts to tear the dress apart. Shred, shred, shred. I'm going to make love to you until you forget your multiplication tables, he snarls. And we're off! (Now, c'mon. Isn't that a better preamble than a depressed "do you want me to hold back?"Mauricio-style? You betcha.)
Alright. Cool off while we have a little comic relief. Lalo is having a meltdown. Ximena's tipped a waiter so he'll wheel Rolu around in his chair and bring back happy memories of being on the racetrack. She volunteers to massage Lalo's precious, sculptured body. It doesn't work. He's still tense. Well, make your mind a blank, she advises. I don't know why people think it's hard. It's easy for me! Our dear Ximena goes right into her white fluffy trance but Lalo's still on the verge of tears. Pobrecito.
Back to our steamy limo love nest. Our nefarious lovers have clearly had congress as well, but no torpor ensues. Instead, Beto, looking quite swarthy and sexy, I must say, is demanding an admission of love. Don't tell me I'm crazy and just a pasttime...a sexual object. You bite your lip every time you see me, you tremble, you melt, you can't stand seeing me with another woman....if that's not love what is it. So say it...SAY IT! SAY YOU LOVE ME!....Yes, sighs Connie. I love you. Pause. Neta? (really?) Yes. But I'm going to marry Mauricio.
She head butts Beto. Leaves him on the street like so much road kill. Fishes the keys out of his pocket. Jumps behind the wheel of the limo and off she goes. Simply divine.
Our morose Mau arrives at an equally lugubrious wedding reception. Gaby and Sal run up. Where were you? No answer. Mau just wants to get it over with. But Connie's not here either. Suddenly he brightens. Sal thinks she's been kidnapped. Gaby feels sorry for the poor kidnappers. Sal goes into another major tic fest. Mau continues to beam hopefully.
Brief scene with the kids. The crazy hairdressers have finally curled Katia's hair and she looks lovely. Luisa and Dany are bored. Teresa is beginning to think her prayers have been answered and the wedding is off. Ivan has gone to the bathroom and found Aldo taking drugs.
Our ubiquitous policeman Christian has retrieved Beto and is slapping him back into consciousness. Who did this to you? he asks. A bad bad woman. Not worth it. Lucky to have escaped her clutches. Back to my mom. The only woman who's ever really loved me. For sure, Beto.
Good ol' mom is still in the barrio, trying to console Monita with cheerful remarks like "Life's not like a fairy tale. " Those pudientes (powerful rich folks) aren't for the likes of us. Those romances never last.
Oh come off it, snaps Alicia. Just because you were "embarazada y plantada en el altar"....Monita and Mauricio are different. He really loves her!
Lalo is as stricken as Nieves is with her memories. He worked and worked with Connie to make this the wedding of the year and now we're like the village fiancee, "vestidas y alborotadas". Ximena flaps around him, trying to be consoling, but to no avail. Sal comes up and tells Mau the judge has to leave. Then turns to inform the crowd that due to "causas ajenas" (things beyond their control) the wedding is off.
Noooooo. Don't call it off, shouts a voice in the distance. And here comes Constanza. Ripped and disheveled (acutally her hair looks better all tumbled around her face), with a lot of silky leg showing. Charging full speed ahead for the wedding of her dreams.
Gasp. That's all I can take for this evening. How about you? Previews show Monita arriving and standing in the wings, watching the wedding vows. Mauricio turns towards her as if saying the words to her and her alone. Connie looks worried.
Vocabulary
una cata = a tasting, as in a wine-tasting
chompeta = cabeza
hasta la maceta= up to "here"
pegarme en los huevos = knee me in the balls
vestida y alborotada = lit. dressed and agitated...but refers to brides left in the lurch at the altar
los pudientes = wealthy, rich, powerful
embarazada y plantada = pregnant and dumped (at the altar in Nieves' case)
causas ajenas = circumstances beyond our control
te alcanzas con eso = is that enough?
Dicho of the Day
No hay mal que por bien no venga.
lit. There's nothing bad that does not come for good. In other words, "Every cloud has a silver lining."
Monita and Mauricio, Connie and Beto. Things were looking grim indeed, and yet both couples found ways to enjoy the evening. Good for them!
Better get back to business. We start with a tenderly humorous scene between Mauricio and Aldo. Aldo's apologizing for his part in the mess that's led to the forced marriage with Constanza, but also softening up dopey old forgiving dad so he can cop some money for more drugs. "Te alcanza con eso?" (Is that enough?) asks dopey dad, opening up his billfold immediately.
We shake our heads ruefully as we switch to a wine-tasting scene at the office. I loved this one because it reminded me of a gruesome blind date I had with the German brother-in-law of my Deutsch professor. This pretentious guy kept noting the woody, saucey blah blah flavors of the wine we were having with dinner and c'mon...give me a break. It's wine. I've never tasted a hint of raspberry in my life. Have you?
Anyway, Beto, bless his heart, hasn't either. He slugs down the first (hint of wood and raspberry), slurps down the second (just a bit of a citrus note) and over Lalo's protests and hysteria, Connie advises letting Beto drink all he wants (keep him sedated!) even though when the "strong, aggressive, just the way I like it" cabernet sauvignon is uncorked, Connie looks like she's ready to cancel the wine-tasting and just jump the Cromagnon's bones. Yeah baby!
Lalo can't take it anymore (he's an artiste and deserve respect!) and flounces out, leaving Connie to rub Beto up and down (is this supposed to sober him up) while he begs her not to marry Mauricio. Why? Because Beto loves her. You what!? Connie gasps. The camera does a closeup of her puzzled, panicked face. Hmmm. What should we make of this?
No time to ponder. We see a big shot of the sun. Then clouds passing. And in case we haven't gotten the idea, the words "several days later" appear. Okay then.
Constanza, looking somehow both wan and triumphant, is having the final touches of makeup before heading off to her wedding. Lalo is ecstatic. She's the most beautiful bride ever. Ximena is tactless. Hey, I was the most beautiful bride ever. Okay now it's your turn. But wait. Monita was fabulous in her wedding dress. Connie...you look.... alright (se ve bien, pasable). Wow, talk about being damned with faint praise. But our iron maiden doesn't wilt; Teresa arrives to say the limosine is waiting and off she goes.
Down in the boondocks (sorry,that song's going through my head) Paula and Estrella are attempting to console Monita by taking her out to...say...the zoo, for instance. As fun as that sounds, Moni would rather stay home in bed and just sleep until the wedding's over.
Suddenly. Yep. You guessed it. Mauricio appears. Looking like death warmed over. But Monita's in love so she says "Que guapo te ves!" I feel like I'm dying, going to my own funeral, sighs Maurio. Give me one last kiss. Big bodacious smooch while Paula and Estrella, Nieves and Alicia, all get that ahhhhhhhh look on their faces.
Back to reality. Lalo is bidding Connie farewell at the limo, chortling that at last they've reached their objective. And furthermore she's the prettiest, most glamourous, skinniest bride in his whole wedding career. (I can hear Mike saying "where's the beef?" right now). Connie hops in the limo and tells the driver briskly to hurry, she doesn't want to be late. Driver turns around. Beto! You'll be late, honey, so late you're never going to arrive at your wedding at all. Shazaaaam.
Barrio time. The Greek chorus of barrio ladies weep and wail and declare that Monita and Mauricio are meant to be together. Don't give up. True love conquers all. Celestial music plays. Put yourself in God's hands. Etc. etc. etc. Mauricio thanks them all but sez if it's all the same, I'd rather be alone with Monita right now. Greek chorus fades away, but not before one member, Nieves, worries aloud about Beto. He's been gone four days now. Where could he be?
Well, we know where he is now. Kidnapping the bride. You're crazy, wails Connie. Crazy with jealousy, he snarls. You're nobody. You're nothing but mine. Those lips, those legs, mine mine mine. Ya!
After the ads, the temperature drops 'cause we're back with Mauricio and Monita. Frankly, he's just being downright tedious. He looks dopey, he's apologizing for being "egoista" and then goes on and on about how he'll be under the same roof but not "with" Connie and Moni must WAIT for him, be PATIENT, PROMISE ME! ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
On the other hand, things are hot in the limo. Has Beto been drinking for four days? Hell no, he drank for three days and then spent the fourth sleeping off the hangover. But he's in love with Connie. Really in love. Not from the head, but from the heart, the soul. Pause. Connie, softly, I'm in love with you too.
Oooey, ooey ooooey, Beto pulls the limo over. He's ready to jump in the back and consummate that love. Pow. A well-aimed kick to the nether regions and Connie's free and ready to hail a taxi. What a woman!
Back in Monita's room, Mauricio is STILL talking. (If I were Monita, I'd reconsider at this point.) Her side of the conversation is more interesting. She promises to wait even until they're both old and ga-ga and living in the same nursing home. He'll get mad and chase her. By the time he catches her, he'll have forgotten why he was mad. We'll give each other our medication, adds Mauricio. They chuckle at the thought.
Quick. Back to Beto and Connie. No taxi. She tries boarding a bus but is repelled by three smelly guys hopping on ahead of her. Beto's recovered enough from his wound to give chase. She hurls her shoes at him. He hurls back, knocks her out with one well-aimed heel, does a little gorilla chest-thumping and hauls her back into the limo. Now there's a romance with some juice to it!
And now to another fine couple. We see Sal and Gaby wandering around a room of bored wedding guests, all wondering where the novios are. Sal is twitching madly, but at least he's in a suit and tie and back to paying elegant compliments to Miss Gabriela. She's beautiful, strong, charming (yes, yes, when I look in the mirror I see all that, she agrees) and the conversation ends with a very thorough very grownup, get-the-job-done kiss.
And alas, it gets the job done too well. Lorenza sees it and is further inflamed with desire for revenge and serious poisoning. Oily Oscar sidles up and encourages her to throw the whole darn bottle in Sal's drink the next time. And just wait, we'll have him locked up in an asylum pronto!
Back to our tepid lovers. Mauricio, looking quite disheveled, says he must go. One last big kiss. He turns, murmuring that he feels like he's going over a cliff. But wait. Monita runs after him. Jumps up. Hugs him. Wraps her legs around him. Wow. She finally found the light switch. So what if I'm late! he exults. They dive on the bed. Do you want me to hold back? he asks. Her only answer is more kisses. Clothes start to come off. Bueno. Nothing like having the wedding night before the wedding. And with a different bride. Works for me.
Same thing in the limo. Only better. Much better. How are you bad? Let me count the ways, Beto muses. She's bad like sour milk. I missed the rest. But there were a number of bad's. And what's more, she kneed him in the balls. No se vale. Me dañas. That's for sure. Connie comes to and starts to complain that Beto loves Monita. Sure I love her. I love her fighting spirit, her heart, her feistiness. But I love you too. Your kisses. Your lips. Your passion. Your skin. Your fragrance. You're like a wolf in heat. YOU CAN'T LOVE TWO WOMEN AT ONCE!, Connie snaps. I CAN, Beto snarls, pounding his chest. I can love two women. (You just know Beto is speaking for all macho men everywhere at this point. The poster child for a pair and a spare.)
Oh heck. We're back in Monita's room. Our lovers are in a state of "après l'amour" torpor. Mauricio is still lamenting though. I can't tell you good-bye. I'll come for you as soon as possible. Don't risk losing your kids, cautions Monita. Find a way to keep them and then get a divorce. And don't say "adios" " Hasta luego". Mau runs off. And the Greek Chorus enters. (Hope they weren't just outside the door listening. But they could have been.) They're all quite blue and a lot more tearful than our Monita who at least has just enjoyed some intense criterion behavior.
Speaking of...fire up your engines baby. "Cause Beto's gettin' ready to ride. He's messing up Connie's hair and wrinkling her dress. She protests. He starts to tear the dress apart. Shred, shred, shred. I'm going to make love to you until you forget your multiplication tables, he snarls. And we're off! (Now, c'mon. Isn't that a better preamble than a depressed "do you want me to hold back?"Mauricio-style? You betcha.)
Alright. Cool off while we have a little comic relief. Lalo is having a meltdown. Ximena's tipped a waiter so he'll wheel Rolu around in his chair and bring back happy memories of being on the racetrack. She volunteers to massage Lalo's precious, sculptured body. It doesn't work. He's still tense. Well, make your mind a blank, she advises. I don't know why people think it's hard. It's easy for me! Our dear Ximena goes right into her white fluffy trance but Lalo's still on the verge of tears. Pobrecito.
Back to our steamy limo love nest. Our nefarious lovers have clearly had congress as well, but no torpor ensues. Instead, Beto, looking quite swarthy and sexy, I must say, is demanding an admission of love. Don't tell me I'm crazy and just a pasttime...a sexual object. You bite your lip every time you see me, you tremble, you melt, you can't stand seeing me with another woman....if that's not love what is it. So say it...SAY IT! SAY YOU LOVE ME!....Yes, sighs Connie. I love you. Pause. Neta? (really?) Yes. But I'm going to marry Mauricio.
She head butts Beto. Leaves him on the street like so much road kill. Fishes the keys out of his pocket. Jumps behind the wheel of the limo and off she goes. Simply divine.
Our morose Mau arrives at an equally lugubrious wedding reception. Gaby and Sal run up. Where were you? No answer. Mau just wants to get it over with. But Connie's not here either. Suddenly he brightens. Sal thinks she's been kidnapped. Gaby feels sorry for the poor kidnappers. Sal goes into another major tic fest. Mau continues to beam hopefully.
Brief scene with the kids. The crazy hairdressers have finally curled Katia's hair and she looks lovely. Luisa and Dany are bored. Teresa is beginning to think her prayers have been answered and the wedding is off. Ivan has gone to the bathroom and found Aldo taking drugs.
Our ubiquitous policeman Christian has retrieved Beto and is slapping him back into consciousness. Who did this to you? he asks. A bad bad woman. Not worth it. Lucky to have escaped her clutches. Back to my mom. The only woman who's ever really loved me. For sure, Beto.
Good ol' mom is still in the barrio, trying to console Monita with cheerful remarks like "Life's not like a fairy tale. " Those pudientes (powerful rich folks) aren't for the likes of us. Those romances never last.
Oh come off it, snaps Alicia. Just because you were "embarazada y plantada en el altar"....Monita and Mauricio are different. He really loves her!
Lalo is as stricken as Nieves is with her memories. He worked and worked with Connie to make this the wedding of the year and now we're like the village fiancee, "vestidas y alborotadas". Ximena flaps around him, trying to be consoling, but to no avail. Sal comes up and tells Mau the judge has to leave. Then turns to inform the crowd that due to "causas ajenas" (things beyond their control) the wedding is off.
Noooooo. Don't call it off, shouts a voice in the distance. And here comes Constanza. Ripped and disheveled (acutally her hair looks better all tumbled around her face), with a lot of silky leg showing. Charging full speed ahead for the wedding of her dreams.
Gasp. That's all I can take for this evening. How about you? Previews show Monita arriving and standing in the wings, watching the wedding vows. Mauricio turns towards her as if saying the words to her and her alone. Connie looks worried.
Vocabulary
una cata = a tasting, as in a wine-tasting
chompeta = cabeza
hasta la maceta= up to "here"
pegarme en los huevos = knee me in the balls
vestida y alborotada = lit. dressed and agitated...but refers to brides left in the lurch at the altar
los pudientes = wealthy, rich, powerful
embarazada y plantada = pregnant and dumped (at the altar in Nieves' case)
causas ajenas = circumstances beyond our control
te alcanzas con eso = is that enough?
Dicho of the Day
No hay mal que por bien no venga.
lit. There's nothing bad that does not come for good. In other words, "Every cloud has a silver lining."
Monita and Mauricio, Connie and Beto. Things were looking grim indeed, and yet both couples found ways to enjoy the evening. Good for them!
Labels: gancho
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Hey Judy, Simply fantastic. I feel well (no fever, no aches, no more cough) and add to that an hilarious show and your great recap... life is good! So many great things:
"Sign me up for the low road."
wine tasting... you have the same take that I have. We have an old friend who comes every year who always insists when we go out to eat (at least twice each visit) that I give my totally incompetent but colorful and irreverent description of the wine that he always selects.
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz, my feeling exactly when M&M talk.
poster child for a pair and a spare
lugubrious
Just to mention a few. Well done.
Carlos
"Sign me up for the low road."
wine tasting... you have the same take that I have. We have an old friend who comes every year who always insists when we go out to eat (at least twice each visit) that I give my totally incompetent but colorful and irreverent description of the wine that he always selects.
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz, my feeling exactly when M&M talk.
poster child for a pair and a spare
lugubrious
Just to mention a few. Well done.
Carlos
Yikes, when Coni in her wedding dress whipped out that mirror all I could think was "mirror, mirror, on the wall".
The wine tasting scene was great! Actually, I do enjoy wine tasting, and yes, I have tasted a raspberry and much weirder stuff to boot. Including a boot. (Just kidding about that last one. Maybe.) However I couldn't agree more about people who analyze wine tasting to death. Sometimes "experts" can ruin things for the rest of us.
Hoooey! Beto and Coni sure were hot tonight. I loved it when he beaned her with her own spiked heel.
Wow, the girls (Estre, Pau and Moni) really looked surprised when Alicia announced that Nieves was pregnant and dumped at the altar. Is this the first they've heard of it? Goodness knows we're all dying to hear the details.
Thanks Judy, for the hilarious recap and the...er...interesting vocab list. I must practice "knee me in the balls" for those special occasions.
The wine tasting scene was great! Actually, I do enjoy wine tasting, and yes, I have tasted a raspberry and much weirder stuff to boot. Including a boot. (Just kidding about that last one. Maybe.) However I couldn't agree more about people who analyze wine tasting to death. Sometimes "experts" can ruin things for the rest of us.
Hoooey! Beto and Coni sure were hot tonight. I loved it when he beaned her with her own spiked heel.
Wow, the girls (Estre, Pau and Moni) really looked surprised when Alicia announced that Nieves was pregnant and dumped at the altar. Is this the first they've heard of it? Goodness knows we're all dying to hear the details.
Thanks Judy, for the hilarious recap and the...er...interesting vocab list. I must practice "knee me in the balls" for those special occasions.
Poster child for a pair and a spare? You are saucy.
What a great episode. Zigs and zags and hot hot heat.
I thought Valentina at least already knew Nieves's story. Didn't she tell her when she gave her the bad-luck wedding dress?
What a great episode. Zigs and zags and hot hot heat.
I thought Valentina at least already knew Nieves's story. Didn't she tell her when she gave her the bad-luck wedding dress?
Good morning Carlos, Sylvia and Julia. Dang, Sylvia..really?.you've picked up a hint of raspberry in a wine you're drinking!!!?? Okay, just label me a Philistine. I'm one of the hoi-polloi who loved drinking Mateus Rosé in the 60's. It's wine. I like it. Punto. Guess I'm hopeless.
Carlos, would love to hear your riff on smokey, woody afterttastes with a hint of citrus or whatever you say. I imagine you are one hell of a dinner companion.
Julia...I know Nieves told Monita she was left at the altar. I don't recall for sure if she said she was pregnant. But Paula and Estrella didn't know.
Carlos, would love to hear your riff on smokey, woody afterttastes with a hint of citrus or whatever you say. I imagine you are one hell of a dinner companion.
Julia...I know Nieves told Monita she was left at the altar. I don't recall for sure if she said she was pregnant. But Paula and Estrella didn't know.
Smokey, woody aftertastes with a hint of citrus...now it sounds like you're talking about Mezcal.
Lugubrious is one of my favorite words. It always makes me think of Eeyore. I think next time I go wine tasting I'll describe the wine as "lugubrious" and see if anyone says anything.
Lugubrious is one of my favorite words. It always makes me think of Eeyore. I think next time I go wine tasting I'll describe the wine as "lugubrious" and see if anyone says anything.
Lugubriously woody with a hint of smoky boot - sounds like some streams we drank from on camping trips!
Excellent recap, m'dear! Sal reminds me of Herbert Lom in the Pink Panther movies when he twitches and tics. He just needs a round bandage on the tip of his nose. And, I loved it when Beto knocked out Coni with her own shoe. Who knew he had it in him?
Judy, I remember Mateus Rose. Didn't much like it but, heck, we needed the nice bottles to drip candle wax all over so we could be 'cool.'
Carlos, glad you're better.
Excellent recap, m'dear! Sal reminds me of Herbert Lom in the Pink Panther movies when he twitches and tics. He just needs a round bandage on the tip of his nose. And, I loved it when Beto knocked out Coni with her own shoe. Who knew he had it in him?
Judy, I remember Mateus Rose. Didn't much like it but, heck, we needed the nice bottles to drip candle wax all over so we could be 'cool.'
Carlos, glad you're better.
Judy, Thanks for evoking sweet memories of enjoyable bygone impoverished days when a great time could be had with a modest investment:
A bottle of Mateus Rosé
A ball of Gouda cheese
A skinny loaf of French bread
A blanket
A girl who smells like White Shoulders
Cameron Park in Waco
Those were the days.
Carlos
A bottle of Mateus Rosé
A ball of Gouda cheese
A skinny loaf of French bread
A blanket
A girl who smells like White Shoulders
Cameron Park in Waco
Those were the days.
Carlos
Hah...you guys are cracking me up. "Lugubrious wine", Emilia's camping trip swill (and yes, I did the melting wax candle in the bottle also) and Carlos...who knew ? I'm right with you on everything but the White Shoulders...it always smelled like Raid on me. Obviously I would not have been welcome on the blanket in Cameron Park. Shalimar is the only thing I can seem to wear without clearing out the room.
Thanks for trolling down Memory Lane with me, "cuates"...you're the best.
Thanks for trolling down Memory Lane with me, "cuates"...you're the best.
Judy, Shalimar works as well. In those days at Baylor 3 scents prevailed:
Fabergé Woodhue
Shalimar
White Shoulders
I've picnicked with all three. They all go well with Mateus Rosé.
The exotic girls in the drama dept. preferred Jungle Gardenia.
I'm not sure which wine goes with that.
Carlos
Fabergé Woodhue
Shalimar
White Shoulders
I've picnicked with all three. They all go well with Mateus Rosé.
The exotic girls in the drama dept. preferred Jungle Gardenia.
I'm not sure which wine goes with that.
Carlos
Sylvia, thinking back on the drama girls that I was acquainted, rum would be most appropriate. By the way, they were a lugubrious lot. Dark, mysterious... kinda scary actually.
Carlos
Carlos
Rum, definitely. Ever tried Stroh Rum? Austrian, I think, dark and wonderful, and strong enough to strip paint!
Man, this dialogue just gets funnier and funnier. Faberge Woodhue was another disaster for me. But the very worst (I still shudder to remember) was TABU. The picture in the ads was great...some classic Renaissance painting of a music teacher bending a damsel back and suffocating her with kisses. On me it was absolutely pestilential. Waaaaay worse than lugubrious or scarey.
I'm with you, Judy. Shalimar is really nice, but back in the day we all wore Ambush or Tabu - YUK!! Someone gave me Tabu as a gift and we used it around a tree to repel dogs!
The guys wore Jade East, English Leather or British Sterling. Probably others, depending what their girlfriends gave 'em for Christmas.
Stroh Rum?! Never heard of it. Spent some pleasant evenings with Stroh's beer, however. With fish and chips, though.
In Wisconsin, where I was teaching in a small college, it was fried fish, potato pancakes and applesauce every Friday. My beer of choice then was Hamm's but Stroh's would do in a pinch. Especially at the end of the month when money was tight.
In Wisconsin, where I was teaching in a small college, it was fried fish, potato pancakes and applesauce every Friday. My beer of choice then was Hamm's but Stroh's would do in a pinch. Especially at the end of the month when money was tight.
Hmmmm...I'd probably be more inclined to douse my Christmas fruitcake (no longer make it, alas) with that dark, strong rum. Real homemade fruitcake, left to ripen in a cool basement, wrapped in cheesecloth, doused daily with rum for a month...then served with a creamy custard you could pour from a pitcher. Ten pounds right there. In all the wrong places.
Is it time for lunch yet?
Is it time for lunch yet?
Looking at your aftershave list I'm feeling really old, Emilia! Old Spice is still my favorite (just bury me now) but I'm willing to handle AquaVelva in a pinch.
But man...Old Spice. I had a retired Navy Colonel in my class for a few years who always slapped on some Old Spice before coming to class and it was all I could not to just pull a "Monita" and jump up and wrap myself around him. He had back trouble though (landing those Navy planes) so it probably wouldn't have been a good idea. On many levels.
But man...Old Spice. I had a retired Navy Colonel in my class for a few years who always slapped on some Old Spice before coming to class and it was all I could not to just pull a "Monita" and jump up and wrap myself around him. He had back trouble though (landing those Navy planes) so it probably wouldn't have been a good idea. On many levels.
Judy, we're coming to YOUR place for Christmas!!
Sylvia, Black Seal rum makes wonderful Dark and Stormies also.
Sylvia, Black Seal rum makes wonderful Dark and Stormies also.
Hmmm...yes, Bay Rum as I remember it does have some good memories. Wasn't there one with Lime in it too? I seem to remember buying some for Bob and when he didn't use it, I just splashed it on myself. Confusing people I'm sure.
I think that's sweet. The lime is very nice, especially in summer.
I used to dab on Mike's aftershave when he was on extended trips...
My mom liked 5711 (4711?? I'm no good with numbers!) and my dad liked it also.
I used to dab on Mike's aftershave when he was on extended trips...
My mom liked 5711 (4711?? I'm no good with numbers!) and my dad liked it also.
Emilia, 4711 was my brand for years and then I switched to Imperiale which is very similar(citrusy, a lot like a Tom Collins). The worst by far for men: Brut. Now if someone could come up with an eau de Beto, he would really have something.
Carlos
Carlos
Ah yes, Eau de Beto. I used to work for an asphalt repair company and when the entire crew came into the office for their checks on a hot summer's day (after working with hot tar).... LOTS of Eau de Beto!
Man, you've got me laughing again. And smiling. Because when Bob was away for weeks on trips, I used to dab on Old Spice also, to feel less lonely.
And 4711! Always wore it when I was working in Austria. Nice and light and clean-smelling. Great for either men or women. Should google it and find out where I can get some. Shalimar is a little heavy for exercise.
Eau de Beto I can do without. I do understand that some women are attracted by mens' sweat but can't say I'm one of 'em.
And 4711! Always wore it when I was working in Austria. Nice and light and clean-smelling. Great for either men or women. Should google it and find out where I can get some. Shalimar is a little heavy for exercise.
Eau de Beto I can do without. I do understand that some women are attracted by mens' sweat but can't say I'm one of 'em.
Not me. I like 'em fresh out of the shower, smelling nice and soapy. And I hate it when a man - or woman for that matter - hoses on the cologne. Of course, with a boss, it was like belling the cat. You always knew when he was around!
Sylvia and Emilia, you learn something every day. I've never heard of a Dark and Stormy. I looked it up. I'm gonna find me some Stroh's Rum and some ginger beer and try it out. Sounds like a great summertime drink. We have summer days here throughout the year. The recipe I found sounds easy enough. I'll bet that the Lovely Linda will be able to make that.
Carlos
Carlos
Well, yeah, Emilia...fresh out of the shower is always good. In the shower also.
Now as to Dark and Stormy, I'll just have to dream. Ever since I turned 50, my body doesn't handle alcohol well. Sounds great but it would just put me to sleep. But let me know if Lovely Linda makes it and likes it, Carlos. It DOES sound good.
Now as to Dark and Stormy, I'll just have to dream. Ever since I turned 50, my body doesn't handle alcohol well. Sounds great but it would just put me to sleep. But let me know if Lovely Linda makes it and likes it, Carlos. It DOES sound good.
Wow, what a fun conversation (and a fun recap, Judy)!
I've never really worn aftershave. And when I was in 7th grade, I was VERY naive (probably still am). A "friend" of mine, popular guy, said "Do you have English Leather?". I had no idea what it was, thought it was something to do with sex (didn't have much idea what THAT was, either!). He teased me with it for days, then said "Do you have Jade East?" I still didn't get it. But when he said, "Do have Canoe?" I.......still didn't get it. About 3 days later someone told me what they were!
I've never really worn aftershave. And when I was in 7th grade, I was VERY naive (probably still am). A "friend" of mine, popular guy, said "Do you have English Leather?". I had no idea what it was, thought it was something to do with sex (didn't have much idea what THAT was, either!). He teased me with it for days, then said "Do you have Jade East?" I still didn't get it. But when he said, "Do have Canoe?" I.......still didn't get it. About 3 days later someone told me what they were!
Hah! Hope you meant Dark and Stormy and not Canoe, Emilia.
Love your 7th grade stories, Hombre. What a miserable age. I remember cinch belts, crinolines (yes, really!) under big skirts, Arrid deodorant that smelled worse than sweat, and having long hopelessly thin feet that made me look like Minnie Mouse in heels I'd rather be 90 than 12 or 13 years old again.
Love your 7th grade stories, Hombre. What a miserable age. I remember cinch belts, crinolines (yes, really!) under big skirts, Arrid deodorant that smelled worse than sweat, and having long hopelessly thin feet that made me look like Minnie Mouse in heels I'd rather be 90 than 12 or 13 years old again.
Thanks for the recap Judy. I'm glad things have lighten up on the show as I was getting concerned last week. I think I'm the only one who can't take Connie and Beto seriously at all. Whenever they make out, I laugh.
This conversation is hilarious. I don't know most of these scents except Old Spice.
This conversation is hilarious. I don't know most of these scents except Old Spice.
Honey, all you need to know is Old Spice. You mean those hunky swimmers you used to see when you were on the swim team never splashed on aftershave? Well, guess not. They were in and out of the pool all day I imagine.
Yes, Beto and Constanza are hilarious and are meant to be. But last night I thought Beto brought a little extra in intensity and grrrrrrrrrhormones. It couldn't have been my hormones making me think that way 'cause I believe I only have 1 or 2 left, tops.
And sure glad this isn't the Sortilegio line. There's someone over there who really gets cranky when folks are "off topic". Here there is no "off topic", thank goodness.
Yes, Beto and Constanza are hilarious and are meant to be. But last night I thought Beto brought a little extra in intensity and grrrrrrrrrhormones. It couldn't have been my hormones making me think that way 'cause I believe I only have 1 or 2 left, tops.
And sure glad this isn't the Sortilegio line. There's someone over there who really gets cranky when folks are "off topic". Here there is no "off topic", thank goodness.
We'd sure be in trouble if we couldn't go off topic... That's how we get to know each other.
Karen, I agree, Beto and Coni make a great comedy duo. Definitely hard to take seriously. And, don't they have the best time with it all?
Karen, I agree, Beto and Coni make a great comedy duo. Definitely hard to take seriously. And, don't they have the best time with it all?
That's one of the benefits of a smaller crowd, I guess...even staying on topic, the Sortilegio line gets a nearly unreadable number of comments.
But back on topic...why exactly has no one told Mauricio about Constanza's affair with Beto? Would anything be different if he did know? And why didn't Mau just pack up the kids and Valentina and take off again while Coni was at the dentist or her boutique or something?
Speaking of dentists, I just saw all your well wishes from yesterday...they must have worked, because it was completely painless and only took an hour. Thanks!
But back on topic...why exactly has no one told Mauricio about Constanza's affair with Beto? Would anything be different if he did know? And why didn't Mau just pack up the kids and Valentina and take off again while Coni was at the dentist or her boutique or something?
Speaking of dentists, I just saw all your well wishes from yesterday...they must have worked, because it was completely painless and only took an hour. Thanks!
Well, Constanza still holds all the cards. Since she's finegled the legal system to gain adoptive mom status of the kids (and Mau has no status) she can hold them hostage in order to drag him to the altar. His agreement to marry her has nothing to do with any belief in her fidelity or any interest in her at all...it's strictly a power play and she seems to have all the power.
Not to be gross, but since we're on the subject of aroma, it would be clear to anybody near Constanza that she's already had a wonderful time before arriving late to her own wedding. Regardless of who with.
Not to be gross, but since we're on the subject of aroma, it would be clear to anybody near Constanza that she's already had a wonderful time before arriving late to her own wedding. Regardless of who with.
Julia, I wonder the same thing. If you recall, Moni went over to Mao's specifically to tell him about Beto and Coni. Coni was eavesdropping on their conversation and was going to interrupt but thought better of it until Mao said, "Now what was it that you wanted to tell me?" and Moni answered, "It has to do with Beto and the Mumi..." At that point Coni stepped out of hiding and told Moni,"Get out!" For some reason Moni decided not to tell Mao after that, telling Coni when she was alone with her before she left that she knew all about Coni and Beto and told her that if she didn't treat Mao right, she would spill the soup.
Carlos
Carlos
Judy, you put it so delicately. But that's still a nauseating thought. Delightful, in the case of Coni, but still nauseating.
I have this really sadistic urge when it comes to the self-obsessed, neurotic, anorexic Coni's of the world. I want to walk up from behind one and say, "I'm sure it's just the cut of your pants, dear, but you might skip dessert for a couple of nights."
Alcohol: for those w/ a Trader Joe's nearby, Emilia and I have greatly enjoyed Dr. Jebediah Drinkwell's Meritage. I guess it's got all them hints of this that and that other thang, but it's right tasty in spite of all that.
PS: now I understand why SOMEONE just asked if we could go to El Mariachi tonight so SOMEONE can enjoy a Margarita.
Carlos, yesterday got away from me, but I still want to compliment you on your recap so replete with all the things, e.g., snark and sarcasm, that keep us all gathered 'round here. I won't say you should be sick every Monday...
Judy, thanks for another of your signature efforts and igniting another day of which way are we going now?
We had a nav trainer run back in the day out to Lajes AB in the Azores. Great way to pick up a case of "Matoosey" wine.
Judy, the Navy, aka the "rum, sodomy and the lash" crowd, has Captains, where the rest of the services correctly use Colonel as the rank at that level.
I have this really sadistic urge when it comes to the self-obsessed, neurotic, anorexic Coni's of the world. I want to walk up from behind one and say, "I'm sure it's just the cut of your pants, dear, but you might skip dessert for a couple of nights."
Alcohol: for those w/ a Trader Joe's nearby, Emilia and I have greatly enjoyed Dr. Jebediah Drinkwell's Meritage. I guess it's got all them hints of this that and that other thang, but it's right tasty in spite of all that.
PS: now I understand why SOMEONE just asked if we could go to El Mariachi tonight so SOMEONE can enjoy a Margarita.
Carlos, yesterday got away from me, but I still want to compliment you on your recap so replete with all the things, e.g., snark and sarcasm, that keep us all gathered 'round here. I won't say you should be sick every Monday...
Judy, thanks for another of your signature efforts and igniting another day of which way are we going now?
We had a nav trainer run back in the day out to Lajes AB in the Azores. Great way to pick up a case of "Matoosey" wine.
Judy, the Navy, aka the "rum, sodomy and the lash" crowd, has Captains, where the rest of the services correctly use Colonel as the rank at that level.
OK Mike, I have no idea what Matoosey Wine is and apparently neither does Google.
When I was a Jr. in med school on the surgery service, all the surgery residents had started scenting themselves with Lilac Vegetal (when I was a lad it was the green stuff the barber would splash you with after a haircut. I'll bet Mike remembers it and probably everyone here would recognize the scent.
Carlos
When I was a Jr. in med school on the surgery service, all the surgery residents had started scenting themselves with Lilac Vegetal (when I was a lad it was the green stuff the barber would splash you with after a haircut. I'll bet Mike remembers it and probably everyone here would recognize the scent.
Carlos
Carlos - "Matoosey" was just a smart a$$ name for Mateus. I definitely remember that smell from good old fashioned barber shops! I see Lilac Vegetal in stores - one of these days I'll buy a bottle. The other good barber shop smell I miss was the kinda rose smelling powder they'd apply to the neck brushes.
I have a nice Korean lady named Moon who cuts my hair now. Her English is every bit as good as my Korean but we get on famously. I took her a little flower arrangement for her 60th birthday last winter.
I have a nice Korean lady named Moon who cuts my hair now. Her English is every bit as good as my Korean but we get on famously. I took her a little flower arrangement for her 60th birthday last winter.
Well, he must have been a Marine pilot then Mike...'cause I'm sure he was a colonel. Oh well...I'm always fuzzy about details.
Yes Matooosey (Mateus)my Air Force Captain (of the 60's) said they used to fly into Portugal to get it cheap. But I could always afford it on my fairly modest salary even at US prices.'Course I didn't drink as much as those guys.
So what's this Trader Joe's drink you mentioned...is it for real? Sure sounds worth trying.
And for heaven's sakes, take Emilia out for that margarita. You KNOW how she gets. Or else hide all the iron skillets pronto.
Oh please...never say that to a woman. Even the worst skank in the world has a terrible neurosis about how she looks from behind in slacks. But how clever you are to know that. Has Emilia been giving away our trade secrets?
Yes Matooosey (Mateus)my Air Force Captain (of the 60's) said they used to fly into Portugal to get it cheap. But I could always afford it on my fairly modest salary even at US prices.'Course I didn't drink as much as those guys.
So what's this Trader Joe's drink you mentioned...is it for real? Sure sounds worth trying.
And for heaven's sakes, take Emilia out for that margarita. You KNOW how she gets. Or else hide all the iron skillets pronto.
Oh please...never say that to a woman. Even the worst skank in the world has a terrible neurosis about how she looks from behind in slacks. But how clever you are to know that. Has Emilia been giving away our trade secrets?
Oh darlin' if you ever saw me retreating, you'd definitely look twice - it takes more than one look to see it all!!!
Mike always teases that he wants to tell the super-skinny women he sees that they look fat. If I ever catch him at it, it's skillets for Mikey!
Mike always teases that he wants to tell the super-skinny women he sees that they look fat. If I ever catch him at it, it's skillets for Mikey!
Well duh, Matoosey!Since women in slacks has been brought up, there were two great views from behind last night: Moni in white slacks and Coni in black slacks. I thought to myself, "Is there anything quite so pleasing as a woman's butt in white or black slacks?
Carlos
Carlos
Thanks, Judyb. Carlos ~ Glad to hear that the flu did not have you down and out for too long. Lots of sickies around here. Hub has a cold , and my daughter just got over one. Now, our grandbaby has been diagnosed with H1N1. [The pediatrician advised against the vaccine.] Janie's fever is gone, but she's still lethargic and wants ti be held a lot. Her appetite is off , too. So, it's been a little hectic around here. I read the recaps, but I don't always have time to comment. Miss you guys.
Permalink posted by 
: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 5:25:00 PM EST
: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 5:25:00 PM EST
Oh my...Susanlynn...I just want to hold you AND that grandbaby and tell you both "it's going to be alright". You know, those bromides we mutter when something like this happens. So sorry. I know you're worried but glad the dear little one has people to love her and take care of her while she gets over this virus. My son caught some virus when he was two weeks old (no one else in the house had it). Nothing to do but feed him (I was nursing him) and he could barely wake up to eat. Then he slept again. But he got through it. Still, it just kills you to see the little ones get anything. Sending good vibes))))))))))))) back to you, lady and to all your family.
Carlos...glad you enjoyed the rear views last night. Very few women can wear white slacks and get away with it. Our Monita has just a perfect figure, no doubt about it.
Mike, glad you're living under threat of skillet-mayhem....it's good for the soul.
Mike, glad you're living under threat of skillet-mayhem....it's good for the soul.
Susanlynn, it's always good to hear from you. Sorry to hear that your grand daughter is sick with the flu. I think I have a pretty good idea of how she feels and felt. Sounds like she is just about well. Tue I was pretty much well but felt really weak and washed out and mostly slept all day. Feel great today. I wish you were watching this with us. It really is an hilarious show and even though we've had over 100 episodes, it's holding up very well. Join us here whenever you can.
Carlos
Carlos
Susanlynn, if you are still with us did you hear that I saw an episode of Corazon Salvaje when I was down in MX a few weeks ago? It looks to be a real bodice ripper, can't wait! So sorry to hear about your dear little Janie not feeling well. It's always worse when the little'uns get hit.
Emilia, you are spot on about Black Seal rum, the original Dark and Stormy rum. Yep, it's a pretty nice summer drink. I sure hope you got your Margarita tonight.
Julia, thank goodness your root canal went well. I was wondering about you today and hoping it all went OK.
I think Kris is back this week so she'll probably do tonight's recap.
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Emilia, you are spot on about Black Seal rum, the original Dark and Stormy rum. Yep, it's a pretty nice summer drink. I sure hope you got your Margarita tonight.
Julia, thank goodness your root canal went well. I was wondering about you today and hoping it all went OK.
I think Kris is back this week so she'll probably do tonight's recap.
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