Caray, Caray!

So, Bruno calls his mom a ho and Alex gets upset and grabs him by the shirt. MaryJo tries to get between them. Bruno eventually says that this only makes things worse between them, gets loose, and goes away. Worse? Seriously? Como diablos could things between them get worse?

Vicky lets Hernán and Felipa know that she told Bruno who his Daddy really was. And what's more, she actually feels better for having done it…except that Bruno was looking at her with "asco" (revulsion, disgust). Hernán advises her to get some rest and says that they support her decision. Vicky takes her meds.

When Hernán goes downstairs, Bruno has harsh words with him. Hernán knew all along and Bruno is pissed about it. He refuses to acknowledge Antonio as his father and insists that Sam is his daddy and he hates Antonio. He takes every opportunity to savor the words as he says Antonio seduced his mother, making her a "ramera" and a "golfa" (both basically, ho). After he spews all that crap he goes back upstairs. But he stops on the stairs to shout to the whole house that he curses the woman who bore him ("que me engendró") and who slept with another man. This brings Ezequiel running, well walking really fast anyway, and now Bruno comes back downstairs to unload on him, saying that even the "criado" (servant) knew before he did and that Zeke must have been her "alcahuete" (person who facilitated the affair, pimp, lookout). Zeke has no flippin' clue what Bruno is talking about. Bruno calls them both trash and storms out. Yay! Goody! Change the locks now while you have the chance and tell security not to let him back in por nada! Hernán just tells Zeke that Bruno is having "personal problems" and says that Bruno isn't acting like a demon, he is one!

Still wearing their robes from the Macy's Hot Married People Who Can't Be Bothered With Actual Clothes line, Alex and MaryJo finish their dinner and talk about what just happened. Alex figures that Vicky must have just felt like Bruno needed to know. MaryJo and Alex both suppose that now Bruno is going to break it to Raquel. Oh, yeah, baby, and in the meanest, nastiest way possible. Alex: "Do you realize, we've all got the same blood and there is nothing in common between them and me." MaryJo: "Luckily!" Ha! I like it when my snark is written for me. Alex is worried about Vicky's health and MaryJo agrees with him that they need to give her lots of love and support. They also agree that Bruno is going to be furious now. Alex wants MaryJo to quit taking on responsibility for all the crap that happens in that house…"you see that we had problems long before you showed up!" They give each other a long, soulful hug as Alex tells her to calm down. I predict there will be some calm-down nookie going on soon. Cause nothing chills a person out better than sweet, sweet lovin' on high-thread-count sheets.

At whatever trashy party is going on tonight, Maura and Ulises discuss Raquel. Basically, Maura lets it be known that there's interest in a hook-up. Ulises winks at Raquel from across the room.

Felipa and Ezequiel start having a conversation, but I can't understand a word because I am stuck on the horrid paint job on the fridge. Is it possible I never noticed it before? How? It's hot and pale pink with white circles. It's blinding me to the closed captions. Seriously? These people are supposed to be rich. How about a little stainless steel, eh? Maybe some granite countertops? A nice sage green paint job on the actual paintable surfaces? Instead of the fridge from the Barbie Dream House?

Okay, back to the show. Felipa and Ezequiel talk vaguely about what happened. They suppose it must have been a fight with Bruno because MaryJo and Alex were in "their" room. Felipa refuses to discuss what the fight was about, even after Zeke complains that Bruno called him a pimp. She reminds him that they see and hear, but keep their mouths shut. She's planning on spending the night in Vicky's room in case Vicky wakes up and needs anything.

Roberto takes a female party guest upstairs to get it on. He makes fun of her for wondering if the host will get mad that they're using one of the bedrooms. "Duh, what do you think these parties are for?" Funny, I never saw a bowl of keys.

Ulises begins the seduction of Raquel. She agrees she'd find him most "apetible" (appetizing).

Maura comments on it to Lizette who thinks it's a shame, because she had her eye on Ulises too. Maura reminds her that he's a "mantenido" (a kept man, a moocher), but Lizette thinks she's perfectly capable of being mooched off of.

Raquel wants some assurances that Ulises isn't just messing around with her and really wants her. So he kisses her. That's apparently enough evidence for her. She says he kisses better than she thought. He tells her that he's been thinking about her since he got back and that he's always liked her. He says that she's special and has qualities he can't find in anyone else. She wants to believe him, but she gets all nervy and tells him this is actually the first time she's cheated on Roberto. He's surprised, but he wants to be the first.

Bruno pours out his troubles to Erick. He's shocked. Bruno is pissed that he's carrying the same blood as Alex. Erick tells him it's an outrage that as the first born he has even more right to everything than Alex has. Bruno starts talking about killing Alex again, but Erick is like, "dude, he's the cat that keeps coming back, enough already!" Bruno says he'll just have to keep trying until he manages to kill off Alex, but for realz this time. Erick wants him to calm down and think about how to do it without raising suspicious. Bruno takes offense because Erick isn't acknowledging his righteous anger, yo.

MaryJo pouts to Alex about being alone in the house all day. She needs to do something and she's used to working. Alex wants to talk about it later, but maybe for now she can hang out with his mom and convince her that she's really in love with him. They kiss goodbye and he goes to see how Vicky's doing before he goes to work.

Vicky is feeling better this morning and wants to chat with Alex for a bit. She wants him to know what happened, but he already does because Bruno told him. Alex thinks Bruno's anger will pass. He feeds Vicky a bite of her waffle and tells her it's time to start thinking about herself. Felipa agrees. Vicky objects that it's about her son and Alex says "hey, I'm your son too, right?" He reminds her that she's not just his mom, she's a woman. He wants her to leave behind her "lastres" (burdens) and write and travel. Maybe she could go look at some land they bought with Fernando…wouldn't she like that? Vicky agrees, so Alex is going to let Fernando know. Mhm, who's the alcahuete now, eh? He kisses both his mom and Felipa goodbye and leaves. Vicky wonders why Bruno is the way he is. Felipa sagely says it's because "nunca falta un negrito en el arroz" (the rice never lacks a speck…maybe something like, there's always a black sheep in the family, or everything can't be perfect).

Downstairs, Zeke takes a minute to discuss household matters with Alex. Bruno came home in the "madrugada" (early morning hours) drunk as a skunk. He is concerned about Erick driving Paula around because Raquel is getting upset. Alex tells Zeke to hire another driver for Raquel and Zeke suggests a cousin of his. Alex agrees. Zeke also wants to consider letting the nurse go, as Pedro is getting around much better. Alex says to ask Pedro what he thinks and then gets driven off to work.

Ulises and Maura chat on the phone. Ulises doesn't want to give up a lot of details about his rendezvous with Raquel, except to say that she's very "fogosa" (fiery) and he can tell that Roberto hasn't been doing his husbandly duty. He also opted to rent a (very tackily) furnished apartment and pay for a maid rather than live in a hotel. He figured he'd get more privacy that way. Maura rolls her eyes at him and says she hopes it's an apartment with an address worthy of their social circle. She also reminds him to call MaryJo.

Chucho fills Pedro in on the goings-on at the big house while he mops the floors. He goes off to get fresh water as MaryJo walks up. Pedro lets MaryJo know that he told Zeke to let the nurse go. He can move his knee around even better than before. Pedro wants an update on Vicky from MaryJo. She supposes that Bruno gave her yet another "disgusto" (upset) and her blood pressure went up. Paula comes stalking up to the house complaining that all the spots in the morning classes were taken and now she has to take classes in the afternoon. MaryJo says it's just important to get her education. ShutUp!Paula, however, has different plans--namely, to marry rich like her sister. The nurse comes in to say goodbye. Pedro feels guilty for getting better so quickly and taking her job away from her, but she says she'll now have time to take care of her baby. Although, Pedro is her "consentido" (favorite).

Alex tells Fernando that Bruno knows who his real daddy is. Fernando's first concern, of course, is Vicky. So Alex gives him the job of distracting Vicky by taking her to that archeological site they just purchased. "Dude, but you know how I feel about your mom!" Yep, and that's exactly why he wants Fernando to be the one to distract her. So much so that he practically orders Fernando, who is insecure about Vicky's feelings for him, to give his unfinished work to some other guy so that he can go visit Vicky and start planning their trip. Did he just offer up his best friend to his mother on a silver platter or the other way around?

Roberto needles a rather pissy-looking Raquel about leaving the party early. She tells him that Ulises brought her home. She gets even more upset when she sees the Samaniego bunch outside. Roberto piles it on, saying he's going to go say hello to them. He walks off as she's screaming "don't you dare!"

Papa Pedro greets him and Chucho offers him a beer, but Roberto, ever the thoughtful guest, has brought a drink of his own. (There's a drinking game…if Roberto doesn't have a drink in his hand, drink!) Hellos are exchanged all around. Paula fills Roberto in on the start of her classes. MaryJo leaves to go check on Vicky, and Pedro asks her to pass on his good wishes for a quick recovery. As she leaves, we see Raquel watching from her front porch, making a snotty face. Paula and Chucho start to gossip about what went down at the big house, but Pedro admonishes them not to talk about "family" business. Roberto reminds them that he is family, but "sin voz ni voto" (without a voice or a vote). Everyone looks uncomfortable.

As MaryJo heads into the house, Ulises makes his phone call from a pay phone. This time he tells Zeke that he is Mario Aguirre, but MaryJo doesn't know anyone by that name. Bruno, unfortunately, is there and angrily takes the phone, demanding to know who it is. MaryJo is pissed. Even if she doesn't know a Mario Aguirre, that doesn't give Bruno the right to be all up in her business! She storms upstairs. Bruno, bringing the crazy, delivers unto Zeke the following speech: "Not a word to anyone, understand, not even Alex. In case you didn't know, I've got the same rights in this house as he does, since Antonio f'ed my mother before they were married. Got it? I'm the eldest! Idiot." Or something to that effect. I don't know what word he actually used for "f'ed" but they bleeped it out.

MaryJo tries to visit Vicky, but Felipa tells her that she's with Fernando right now. MaryJo offers to come back later. Felipa sees that she is obviously upset ("you look like you've seen a ghost") but she can't get MaryJo to tell her what's up.

Fernando very passionately explains to Vicky the history of the land. They bought it, but then some archeologists found artifacts and ruins and now, since they can't build on it, Alex wants to give it to the indigenous people in the area so that they can run some sort of cooperative enterprise with it. They want to build a museum to show off the artifacts that were found there. Fernando says they'll need "INA"s permission and for someone to talk to people to convince them of what a good idea it all is. He and Alex thought Vicky could be that person. Vicky hesitates about going out there, but then remembers she needs a distraction and agrees. Fernando very enthusiastically kisses her hand and holds on to it just a bit too long, causing Vicky to remove her hand from his and give it a little pat. Oh, he is so like a puppy.

Ezequiel is going to burst if he doesn't tell Felipa what just happened. So he does. He wants her to confirm or deny that what Bruno told him is true. She says that (a) she doesn't know, (b) Bruno's making things up, and (c) they shouldn't be gossiping. Ezequiel looks no less burst-y than he did before the conversation.

Bruno goes to visit a lawyer, one Felipe Archundia, to ask him if after 10 years it's possible to contest a will. Mr. A says it depends on the circumstances and ominous music plays and Bruno looks just as smug and rat-bastardy as ever.

Paula comes to visit MaryJo. MaryJo asks if she knows who this Mario Aguirre is, but the name doesn't ring a bell for Paula either. Paula wonders if it's someone MaryJo met at the store, but MaryJo says she couldn't have given someone the number when she didn't know it herself. Paula now panics a little and wonders if it's something to do with Papi's shady business associates. MaryJo sincerely hopes not, and crosses herself to ward it off. Paula wants her to tell Alex, but MaryJo isn't sure she should. Paula and I both roll our eyes.

Ulises tells Maura what happened when he called. He tries to get more money out of her, but she says she's already give him more than enough for two phone calls. I agree. He didn't even do the classic "is your refrigerator running?" joke.

Bruno comes back to the house and is pissed off that Fernando was there. He thinks Fernando is hitting on a "vieja" (old lady). Fernando objects to calling Vicky "old." Fernando refuses to answer the question of why he was there and leaves. Bruno goes out to the front steps to tell him that he is forbidden to enter the house again. Puh-leeze. Then, since Felipa is coming up the stairs, he tells her to get back in the kitchen where she belongs. Felipa serenely says that his mother asked her to get some flowers, so she did, since it's Vicky who's in charge here. As Bruno stomps off, she just as serenely calls him an "engreido" (spoiled brat) and "presumido" (arrogant). And not mumbling, and not precisely behind his back, just that he was walking away at the time.

Bruno heads into the kitchen to very rudely tell Ezequiel that he wants everyone at dinner tonight because they have important things to discuss. Ezequiel very shakily asks who exactly he means by "everyone" and Bruno tells him not that drunk Pedro and not Paula, and then calls Zeke an idiot. He leaves and Zeke stands there trembling as he says that Bruno has never talked to him like that before. Really?

Felipa, who is well known for not gossiping, tells Vicky what happened with Mario Aguirre calling and asking for MaryJo. Vicky gets Felipa to make excuses for why MaryJo can't see her.

Out on the front porch of Pedro's house, he and Roberto shoot the bull. Ulises comes up and joins the conversation. Chucho spies. Ulises wants to confirm that Pedro only has two daughters, then asks for Raquel. Roberto gives him permission to go over and say hi to her. Pedro basically likes anyone who says his daughters are pretty, so he thinks Ulises is a fine young man. I have this horrible premonition…do we have any idea what happened to MaryJo's mom? Did she possibly leave Pedro and have another kid who, though younger, looks a lot like MaryJo? Please tell me we're not getting a 2-for-1, long-lost sister and long-lost mother.

Ulises comes into Raquel's house. She's surprised to see him, and even more surprised that he attacks her and throws her down on the table. She doesn't want to get busted by Roberto, but Ulises says that Robert gave him permission to come in and say hello. She tries to get out of their previously agreed on meeting at his apartment later, but he talks her into it. Or nibbles her into it, whatever. He leaves and she's all giddy and disheveled.

Maura pulls up to Alex's place of business. Alex is giving Mari two cell phones, one for Paula and one for MaryJo. Another secretary announces Maura over the speakerphone. She tries to French kiss him hello, but he resists. He also refuses her invitation to lunch. She says she has something interesting to tell him. She's heard rumors from Bruno and Raquel that he needs to hear about. He's really not interested, but she tells him he's smart enough to know if she's making things up, so what is there for him to worry about. Ugh.

Raquel angrily screams at someone to call her a taxi. She goes to meet Ulises at his apartment. As he macks on her, he asks if he can fix her an exotic drink…he was, after all, a bartender in Europe. She wants to talk, but not really. She tells him she hasn't done it with Roberto in years because he says she's disagreeable and repellent. Ulises sweet talks her…"you're beautiful, sweet, distinguished." What. Ever.

Maura rehashes the weirdness of Alex coming home and not remembering being married, then remembering, then blaming it all on Bruno. Alex is surprised she knows all this. She tells him she listens when people whisper. She says that Bruno told her some guy, Mario Aguirre, from Saqui keeps calling the house, but she doesn't know why. She gets him to promise not to tell who she heard it from, but since she says Bruno told her, he doesn't believe her. She says she's sure Bruno forbid Ezequiel from telling him, and she's sure MaryJo isn't going to tell him, so she's just being a good friend and trying to keep him from looking like an idiot.

MaryJo irons and Pedro shines his shoes while Paula reads a magazine. Pedro thinks that Vicky is just tired, but MaryJo thinks Vicky is avoiding her. Ezequiel very stiffly comes in and tells MaryJo that she's to be at dinner that evening. Paula gets all excited, but Zeke bursts her bubble, telling her the message was only for MaryJo. Paula is offended and MaryJo can't buy Paula off with the excuse that it's a "family" dinner. Pedro says that it's probably something personal that they want to discuss in private. MaryJo reminds Paula that despite all the luxury they're living in, they're still what they are. Pedro backs her up.

Felipa passes on the message about Bruno's dinner to Vicky. They wonder what the dinner's about, given that the "family" only will be present. Vicky doesn't like the sound of this.

Raquel and Ulises' afternoon of illicit nookie is interrupted by a call to Raquel's phone, but Ulises tells her to leave it..."si lo encuentras no te conviene" (if you find it, it's not in your best interest).

Alex pulls up to the house in the evening. He goes inside and finds his bedroom empty. He has to go to "her" bedroom to find her. She's all shaky as she says that it's easier for her to be in that room since all her clothes are there. She tells him that Bruno called for a dinner, but she doesn't know what it's about. He asks if something happened and if she has something to tell him. She says no, so he laughs and says he's going to have a shower and change clothes. MaryJo is upset that she didn't get a kiss or a smile from him.

Roberto has been waiting for Raquel and tells her to hurry up and change for dinner. He seems suspicious and upset, but didn't he tell her to cheat on him?

Bruno finally shows up at the dinner table and orders Felipa to go away, since she's not "family." Everyone rolls their eyes and Vicky stands up and insists that Felipa is family, to her. Bruno gives up and announces that he's contesting "his" father's will. Raquel is impactada as she asks "your father?"

Tomorrow: Raquel finds out who her daddy is; Bruno calls Vicky a ho yet again; Alex and Bruno get into a fistfight at the dinner table, or rather, on the dinner table.

Labels: sortilegio