Caray, Caray!

An angry Maura swears that Bruno will never get what he wants because she's going to stop him, angrily. Bruno angrily warns her she doesn't know who she's messing with and leaves as Maura breathes deeply and angrily. Grrr!

Alex and Fer enjoy their drinks on the plane. Fer wanted to call home, but Alex didn't. He didn't want Bruno warned before they arrive. He wants to get the jump on him. Fer thinks he's being paranoid, but Alex reminds him the Bruno always seems to know everything--he knew they were in the DR. He offers that Fer can call Vicky once they get to Merida and let Vicky know they're on the way. Fer caves and agrees that Alex's plan is good. He can't wait to see the looks of surprise on everyone's faces when they show up.

MJ tells Vicky that she's planning to sell some of her shares to Maura and Lisette. She wants Vicky's blessing/advice. Vicky tells her to do what she thinks is best. After all, Alex left it to her, so he must have trusted her judgment. MJ asks if Vicky will come with her to go sign the contract, but Vicky declines. Vicky hopes that once this is done, Bruno will calm the heck down already.

MJ goes to the company and is greeted by Mari and some people in the waiting area. Mari gives her the condolences of everyone in the company. She says that Alex was an awesome guy and they really miss him. Mari shows MJ into Alex's office, where everything is just as he left it. MJ lets Mari know that she's expecting Maura, Lisette, and their lawyer. Mari asks for permission before giving MJ a hug and then leaves. MJ sits behind Alex's desk and cries. It's hard to get too into it knowing that he's coming back any minute now.

Alex and Fer get in a taxi and ask it to take them to "the Lombardo family house." Must be nice. I doubt anyone would know where the hell I was talking about if I just said "take me home."

Lisette and Maura's lawyer gives MJ the contract to review. They talk to her about selling them even more shares, but MJ has no intention of doing that at the moment. MJ hesitates to sign, so Maura puts on some pressure--no one else will give her as much money and they could end up being on Bruno's side. MJ mentions wanting Vicky to be president of the company, but the lawyer says that's not a good idea, given the scandal. Maura suggests MJ, Hernán, or herself, and the lawyer says any of them would be a good choice, provided they get advice from someone (the implication being that it be someone who actually knows how to run a construction business). MJ is still hesitant because Alex wouldn't have wanted her to sell. Maura reminds her it's an emergency and they've got to do it to beat Bruno.

Alex and Fer arrive at the house and Tomás happily calls to everyone that they're home, after he lets Alex know that his wife isn't at home at the moment. Ezequiel passes on the message to Vicky, who thinks he's trying to drive her nuts. But then Alex walks in. Vicky exclaims "hijo, hijo" (son) but gets hugged by Fernando first. Hugs are exchanged all around between Fer, Alex, Vicky, Ezequiel, and Felipa. Vicky goes into momma bear mode, asking if the boys are hungry, thirsty, what happened to them. Vicky tells Alex that MJ is at the company getting ready to sell shares to Maura and Lisette in order to keep Bruno from taking over the company. Alex rushes for the phone, but Vicky reminds him that he may not want to give a pregnant woman such a big shock. Vicky makes the call for him.

MJ is still hesitating over signing the contract. She answers the phone and Vicky tells her, since she hasn't signed yet, to come back home. "Er…because we need to discuss it!" MJ tells Maura, Lisette, and the lawyer that they'll have to postpone the signing because Vicky wants to see the papers.

An ecstatic Ezequiel (say that 10 times fast) meets MJ in the driveway and helps her up the stairs. She's wondering why Vicky wanted her to come home. Zeke just says "they" are waiting for her in her bedroom, which she refers to as "Alex's room." Zeke is so flippin' happy he's kissing her hand.

MJ walks into her bedroom, looking for Victoria. Instead she finds Alex, freshly washed, and in his robe and slippers. That's like winning the lottery. Predictably she faints. This was preferable to him calling her on the phone how? Well, ok, she can faint into his arms this way, I'll grant you that. He carries her to the bed and tells her "I'm here, I told you I'd be back." She wakes up, cries, and hugs him. Then they get down to doing the nasty. Which we do not get to see, either because she's got that big fake belly on, or because the writers have decided that we've had enough of shirtless Alex in the past week. Whatever, writers, there can never be enough shirtless Alex on the Shirtless Alex Show (you didn't know that was the real translation of Sortilegio?).

Paula has been informed of recent developments and she's so happy, she jumps on Ezequiel and almost wraps her legs around him. She hugs Felipa and the other maid and jumps up and down. Felipa thinks that Alex's guardian angel is doing an awesome job. Paula says she's going to see MJ, but Felipa says "they're in their room, talking, and they probably have a lot to say to each other." She might have been speaking literally, but I think that's a euphemism. Paula settles for going to tell her dad.

MJ has changed into pj's and a robe. She was worried that Alex would never get to see his baby. Alex said he never had a doubt he'd get out of there…"It took you months!" MJ reminds him. Yeah, but he did it. That's the important thing. And he thought about her the whole time. He wants to get a look at the goods, but she's feeling shy. He says motherhood is the most beautiful thing in the universe. He's in awe of the fact that they, like, created life. Duuuuuuuude.

Fernando tells Vicky that he's had enough, death can come at any time, and you can't give up what you want most. They love each other and she needs to quit fighting it, already, cause all he cares about is her. Vicky says she regretted rejecting him so many times and she can't do it anymore. Game on!

Pedro comes running through the mercado yelling that Alex is back. Chucho laughs and says there's no body of water big enough to drown Alex in. Pedro has to sit down from the excitement. He's all red in the face and crying.

Lisette and Maura fill Roberto in on the meeting with MJ. Maura is in a snit, saying "those people" can't be trusted. Roberto is confused, thinking that MJ was really determined to sell last time he talked to her and that it must just be that Vicky advised her to let the lawyers look over the paperwork first. He gets a call from Raquel on his cell phone and incurs her wrath by saying she's interrupting him during a business meeting. She tells him to cut the crap, she just talked to her mom and mom is calling for a family dinner that night at the big house. Roberto wonders why and Raquel says maybe it's to welcome home the prodigal, now that Bruno is going to be living in one of the chalets. Roberto tells her he'll be there. He tells Maura and Lisette that they're having a family dinner and maybe it will be to discuss selling the shares. Maura is still upset about the hesitation. Lisette finds the idea of a "family" dinner amusing since the Lombardos are even less united than usual. Lisette tells Roberto that he needs to get divorced already so the two of them can hook up. Seriously. She says "I like big strong men like you." Does she mean "you're a big strong guy and I like 'em that way" or "hey, we both have the same taste in men?" Right in front of him, Maura tells Lisette to look for big strong men on the internet, cause she's wasting her time with Roberto. Lisette shoots back that Maura is the one who was wasting her time with Alex. Roberto takes his leave without commenting on the last part of the conversation. Maura gives him a kiss goodbye and asks him to keep them informed, regardless of what's going on. Once he leaves, Maura accuses Lisette of having a brain the size of a mosquito for interrupting a serious business discussion with random horniness. Lisette tells Maura that Maura is tied with an impossible idea, because Alex is now six feet under ground…or under water, as it were. Is Lisette always so nasty or has she had a lot to drink? I didn't think she had anything against Alex to be so flippant about his alleged death.

Fernando goes home and is greeted by the maid, who is happy to see him and cries. Fer gives her a hug. The maid says she doesn't know how Katia is doing, except that she's with her uncle and she called the other day to say that she'd send the maid's paycheck with one of her uncle's workers. She leaves and Fernando picks up the phone and calls his uncle.

The uncle takes the news well. He's really happy to hear from Fer. He tells Fer that Katia is out with Elena right now and asks "Do you remember her?" Fer gets a constipated look on his face.

Katia joins Elena at a restaurant, complaining about the cold. Elena pumps Katia for information about MJ, which Katia notices. Elena says she just thinks the story is interesting, that's all. Katia doesn't think that MJ is going to live her little fairy tale for much longer. Bruno is going to see to that. Katia asks about Elena's daughter, who Elena says is studying in Madrid. Elena's phone rings and she answers it, telling Katia that it's her husband. He tells her that "tu hijita" (your little daugher) has been spending money in Culiacán.

Finally, we get a look at the bad twin. And it ain't pretty. Short, fried, bleached blonde hair, a purple and blue tank top, purple hot pants, plaid leggings, a red fuzzy purse, and bright yellow stilettos. And it's no prettier from the front. Tons of black eye makeup, including thick black eyeshadow on an otherwise pale face, an eyebrow piercing and a nose piercing. And just to be clear, I have nothing against any of those things individually, but all together the effect is just not good. We get to hear her Thpanith accent as she peers in the door of a church and has a brief convo with God. "Hi, I'm Sandra. You don't really know me because I don't go to church, but I came today because I want to get off drugs. I need to do it. Everyone asks you for miracles, right, so I came to ask you for that one because only a miracle can get me out of this."

A guy looks through a telescope and sees Sandra. She complains that he found her, but she doesn't try to leave. He reminds her that they were at a "reve" (short for reventon, party) and she announced that she'd had enough and was going to Sinaloa. Sandra tells "Jonathon" that she can't go on like this. There's a drug rehab clinic here and she's trying to get up the guts to go admit herself. She says she's a "piltrafa" (piece of crap) and she doesn't want to go back to her family like this. She does this weird jerky movement thing as Jonathon puts his arm around her and starts walking her somewhere.

Now they're in a little boat. He asks her since when she cares about her family. She says what she cares about is her grandfather's money and that if he sees what she's become, he'd probably just as soon leave his money to his "mozo" (his boy; his servant). Jonathon asks if she can't imagine "toda la magia que podríamos comprar con mi colonia con ese billete" (all the magic we could buy with my colony? With that money…is this some kind of drug reference? And what does the "with" my whatever "with" that money imply? Anyone? Bueller?). She shoves him off, telling him to go back to Mexico, cause she'll never get clean with him here. She tells the guy driving the boat to take her to the shore and calls him "tío" (but no, I don't think he's her uncle).

Ulises gets a call from Elena tells him that Sandra is in Culiacán. Ulises tells her he'll take care of it. He calls Mateo and tells him to get to Culiacán. Ulises will send him a picture of Sandra so that he can recognize her. He gets off the phone and tells his reflection in the mirror "Sandra, at last we will see each other again!"

Bruno is walking with his lawyers and complaining that if "la estupida de" (that idiot) MJ sells his shares to Maura and Lisette, that pair of harpies, he's toast. "That's all women are good for, to screw things up!" Interrupting his rant, I must say I'm fond of that descriptive construction the "la/el descriptive noun de *person*." You just have to make sure that the la/el agrees with the gender of the person you're describing. For example "el guapo de Alex" (that hottie Alex), "la arpía de Maura" (that harpy Maura). Anyway, the lawyers think he's freaking out for nothing and the ladies might not even be able to come to an agreement on price. Bruno says Maura has enough money to make it happen and they need to come up with a counterattack. The lawyers say that MJ can do what she wants with her shares. Bruno tells them they'd better come up with a way to get MJ out of his way or he'll find other lawyers. Damn, Bruno's bitchy when thwarted. He gets a call on his cell phone and announces it's from his mother. The lawyer says maybe it's about the shares, so Bruno answers it and pretends he's happy to hear form her. She invites him to dinner that night, saying she wants to have everyone together again. Bruno agrees, because he wants to talk about that stupid decision MJ is making to sell her shares. He wants Vicky to convince her not to. She brushes that off and asks for confirmation. He agrees he'll be there. Vicky lets Alex, MJ, and Felipa, who were all in the room when she made the call, know Bruno's response. She's worried about how he's going to react when he finds out what's going on. Felipa crows that Bruno's really going to have a "patatus" (a big 'ol scare; fainting or getting dizzy because something really shocks you) this time, seeing Alex back from the dead and all. MJ says the one who does need to come back now is that judge that Bruno killed. Alex hasn't heard about the judge so MJ fills him in--Sra. Maya said the body hadn't been found and Bruno was trying to catch up with the guy, but he apparently fell off a waterfall, and Bruno knows about it because he was there when it happened. Vicky tries to say that maybe it was an accident (*sigh* old habits die hard). Alex says, if so, it sure is a convenient accident. Vicky bumps his chin with her fist in response.

Bruno gets a call from Katia, griping him out about not calling. He tells her not to start with him She complains that without Elena, she'd be dying of boredom. She wants him to come pick her up and take her away. He tries to make excuses, but she tells him she knows what he went to the DR for, to take care of that judge, and she bets Bruno did something to him. Bruno claims to have bribed the judge to keep quiet, but Katia's not buying it. Bruno tells her not to threaten him and she tells him not to ignore her and get her out of there! She hangs up on him. Oh, little miss priss, I'm willing to bet no one hangs up on Bruno and lives to tell the tale. For now he just pulls out his earpiece and keeps driving.

Bruno finishes getting ready somewhere in the big house and makes for the dining room. At the table, Vicky, Raquel, and Roberto, and Felipa are waiting. Raquel talks about how she's the only punctual one and MJ is so low-class that she can't be bothered to be on time. MJ and Paula saunter in and Paula tosses out "well, your little brother Bruno hasn't gotten here yet either!" Raquel tries to rub it in MJ's face that Bruno is back and she didn't end up with everything even though she tried to, ha, ha. MJ grins the grin of a glowing pregnant woman who just found out her beloved ex-husband isn't really dead and has spent the whole afternoon with him in the boudoir doing unspeakably sexy things. Bruno saunters in, saying there's nothing like being home again and having a good family dinner. Alex walks in and says "That's just what I say, nothing like seeing your whole family, don't you think?" Bruno, Raquel, and Roberto are all impactados. Imagine the thought bubbles…Bruno: "No, wait, I was about to have everything, curse you, why won't you die!" Raquel: "OMG, he's alive, I get another chance to jump his bones…no, wait, I forgot we're related. Damn it! Why is the only many I'm really interested in a blood relative!" Roberto: "Oh, crap, he's back! Is he going to be pissed about the whole selling-shares-to-Maura thing? How am I going to spin this to my advantage?" Alex: "Heh, suckers!" Commercials.

Vicky tells Bruno, who hasn't managed to shut his mouth yet, that both Alex and Fernando are back. Subtext: Both the half-brother you hate and his best friend who you don't want me seeing are still alive, and you'd better believe I'm gonna hook up with that young hottie every chance I get! Roberto gets up and says he's happy to see Alex. Bruno, like a small child who's just had a favorite toy snatched away, stands up and starts screaming that it's all a trick, Alex faked his death, and his divorce was a trick too. Alex reminds him that the divorce is legal and that it was the price Bruno wanted so that MJ and the baby wouldn't die. "But you left her everything just to screw me over!" Alex doesn't really deny that, he just says he left her everything because he wanted to. Now Bruno's getting desperate. He tells Alex that Alex shouldn't be there because the house doesn't belong to him anymore. Alex smiles and says his mom and his ex invited him. Bruno tries to appeal to Victoria, saying that Alex pulled one over on them and isn't she upset, I mean, they cried and everything. Alex: "I doubt you cried. And speaking of dead people, what ever happened with the judge? Did you throw him over or shoot him or push him?" Alex informs him that Sra. Maya told them that Bruno was looking for the judge. "Lies!" shouts Bruno. MJ says Sra. Maya told her the same thing. Alex suggests they give her a call. Bruno finally admits that yes, the judge fell, but that doesn't mean he killed him, he didn't even see him. Alex doesn't buy it. Bruno doesn't buy Alex's story either. Bruno is going to accuse Alex of theft. Fine, then, Alex will accuse him of murder. Bruno storms out. Vicky tells Alex to sit down and tells Zeke to serve dinner. Raquel says she'll vomit if she eats anything. Then she grins (seductively?) at Alex and says she's glad he's not dead. Roberto agrees. Alex announces that MJ is going to give him power of attorney and give some shares over to him and that if Raquel votes for him, he can be president again and keep the company from going under. Vicky starts crying and says she's sad. She's glad the boys are back, but everything else that's going on is making her sad. She excuses herself and gets up from the table. Felipa goes with her. Alex and MJ smile at each other.

Bruno goes into his room and starts throwing things around.

Felipa reminds Vicky to focus on the boys being back. Felipa tells Vicky that she did a good job raising her own kid, but he turned out bad anyway and it wasn't her fault. Vicky says that as a mother, you never stop suffering. Felipa reminds her she's got a young hottie and a grandchild on the way and she should focus on that. Once your kids are grown up, you can't smack them around anymore. You can give them advice, but they're going to do whatever they want to in the end. "Are you going to turn into an old lady crying in your chair all the time?" Felipa reminds her that she's still a hottie and she's got a lot to live for, like Felipa lives for Cuco. "But Fernando isn't Cuco!" Eh, says Felipa, he wishes he were! Cuco gets to sleep with me all night!

Fer finally gets to talk to Katia. She cries. She wants him to come get her. He says he will tomorrow. Katia tells him she feels very alone and she's glad he's coming to get her. "But come in a plane would you, cause it's a really long drive." Fernando agrees. Katia tells her uncle she's sorry to leave him. He tells her he'll miss her. She thanks him for everything and says she had a great time. Her uncle says she doesn't have to lie--he knows she's a city girl and living out in the country just isn't for her. They share a hug.

Raquel is in awe that twice they've thought that Alex was dead and yet here he is, back again. Roberto says MJ must be really happy. Now he's lit the fuse. Raquel (drinking, I see) is furious that MJ ended up with everything, she must have talked Alex into it, etc. She hopes one day Alex will open his eyes and see what a "ladina" (an Indian who adopts Spanish ways; a sly, cunning woman--this is one of those "all those people are like that" kind of insults, like using "gypped" or "welshed" to mean "cheated") MJ is and will get rid of her. Roberto soothes her by saying they're already divorced. Well, Raquel agrees with Bruno that it was a farce. Roberto takes away her drink because it's bad for the baby. She whines that she didn't want it and she should have gotten rid of it. She wants a divorce already, she really loves Ulises, blah, blah, blah. Roberto tells her that Ulises doesn't feel the same way, he's just using her. She wants to know who Ulises' other woman is. He declines to say. Raquel decides it must be Maura since Alex dumped her, so she went after Ulises so that she wouldn't end up an old maid. Roberto tells her the point is that she's going after a guy who doesn't want her. He tells her not to ruin her life for him, they've been together for years and they can try to work on their relationship. "What for? So you can keep living off of me? All you want is my money!" He reminds her that they don't have any money, or less than before in any case. He tells her that he asked MJ for a job at the company. Raquel is, of course, upset, because now MJ will think she's above them. How the hell does Raquel not end up getting sick of hearing herself spout this nonsense? Roberto says he's doing it for their little girl. Raquel doesn't care about the kid or about Roberto. She storms off, saying that she's going to fight Maura for Ulises. Roberto, wiped out from dealing with her, halfheartedly calls "She's not interested in Ulises," and sighs.

Alex and MJ are in bed together. Alex is spending some quality time with the bump. MJ says when she thinks about everything that has happened, she feels sorry for Vicky. Alex just hopes that Fernando will help her out and console her. MJ is convinced that Fernando's feelings for Vicky are returned. Alex smooches on MJ as she reminds him that he's not supposed to be there, since they're divorced. Hey, stranger things have happened. Alex doesn't care about Bruno's threats, but he will check with the lawyers, even though he doesn't think Bruno can sue him. He doesn't like Bruno being there, but MJ tells him the judge ordered that he have part of the house. MJ tells Alex she missed him. Ales replies, "Me too. There were no women anywhere on that island!" She laughs at his joke. Alex is worn out from so much excitement, but MJ wants to hear the whole story. He's asleep. She thanks God for getting Alex back to her.

Alex and MJ wake up together. MJ is pleased that it wasn't a dream. Alex invites her to cop a feel and make sure he's flesh and bone. You bet she does! Smoochies. Alex comments that she's getting very "audaz" (audacious, bold) and MJ replies that he showed her how. Smoochies and rolling around. Lots of kisses for the bump.

Ezequiel walks Alex to his car and tells him that he'll have the household budget prepared and ready for him to review. Alex drives off. Bruno walks up and asks Zeke if Alex spent the night (yes) and if he spent it in the bedroom with MJ. Zeke replies that he really can't say. After all, there are a lot of guest rooms in this house. Bruno starts choking Zeke. Cuco would have come to the rescue if he hadn't been on a leash. Felipa asks what's going on. Bruno tries to kick the dog and misses. Bruno gets into his car, saying that if the dog isn't gone by the time he gets home, he'll kill it. Vicky comes out, wanting to know what's going on, and Felipa fills her in. Bruno starts to drive off, telling Ezequiel and Felipa to shut up and calling them good-for-nothings. He is blocked by an SUV coming into the driveway. It's Fernando. Bruno tries to tell him to go away, he's not getting in. Fernando gets out of the SUV and Bruno punches him and then knees him in the gut several times. Vicky tells Zeke to bust it up, but he gets hurt in the process. Fernando and Bruno go at it. Fernando does manage to get some good hits in and gets Bruno down on the ground.

Tomorrow: Maura wants to get Alex back; MJ seethes about something. And in all likelihood, a replay of Fernando beating the snot out of Bruno. Good times!

Labels: sortilegio