Friday, March 12, 2010
El Clon #19, 3/11. Girls come and kiss me. Tell me you'll miss me. But get me to the beach on time.
[ed. note: I just changed the title. Jean's suggestion was just too perfect to pass up. Thank you, Compañera! I hate thinking up titles; it's usually the hardest part of my recap. So I appreciate yours.]
Said overhears Zoraida saying that Jade is in love with Lucas. While still in a daze, Tio Abdul steps up and starts telling him that he is a business genius and he’s going to be very rich. But all Said can think of is Jade and the magic she worked on him, and his detestable rival Lucas. He asks Tio, what is the punishment for a man who corrupts a maiden. Abdul is aghast. Such a degenerate gets 80 lashes. Said speculates, with no particular remorse, that the punishment would kill most men. Abdul points out that both participants are guilty, and both would get the same punishment. Oopsie.
Jade leaves the house, ostensibly to go grocery shopping, but really to call Lucas. She calls his house, and Rosa tells her he left with Marisa and won’t be home for supper. Jade remembers their other conversation about Marisa, and she sees red. And green. Like a Christmas tree! But I don’t think Morocco uses Christmas trees. (Can you tell I’m getting punchy?) Lucas and Marissa are at the beach. She’s in a bikini that can fit into a 35mm film canister. I really don’t care to have her complete butt thrown in my face, thank you, especially as the central focus of an extended scene. As my son said about a certain catalog, looks like Victoria ain’t keeping no secrets! Lucas says that if Albieri’s mission fails, he and Jade will just live together, although it will be a bit complicated with no job, since papa will halt the gravy train. Pobrecito will lose his credit cards and car if he moves out. Let’s think about this. Jade can’t get married because Ali would disapprove. So the best solution is for them to shack up. Because Ali would just loooove that, right?
The ever-helpful Marisa says her father can get him a job. But is he sure he wants to give up everything for Jade. Lucas professes his boundless love, yada yada. Marisa wishes somebody would love her that much. Her fishing works; Lucas tells her how wonderful she is and how any guy would love to be at her side. What a schmuck! Then she asks him to put suntan lotion on her back. Of course she opens the back of her bikini, because heaven forbid that the tiny region covered by the swim suit should not tan. Lucas is uncomfortable. So am I.
Latifa tells Ali she’s kinda’ glad Nariza left. Ali reminds her that she’ll be back, and Latifa needs to treat her with respect, as if she were her mother-in-law. Latifa ponders whether Allah will grant Nariza a husband. Ali says, “A man hopes a wife will bring peace and calm to his house. Doña Nariza takes a storm wherever she goes.”
Albieri shows up at the door of Little Morocco, to talk to Ali. He says he himself found out only recently about the matter with Lucas and Jade. Ali notes that Albieri feels guilty about something; what is it? Albi dodges the question. Albi says he got married, she’s a wonderful woman.. Ali interrupts, “But she doesn’t fill the emptiness in your soul, does she? That emptiness is because you don’t have God (Dios) in your life.” Albi says he left the idea of God a long time ago and doesn’t want to talk about it. Albi pitches Lucas’ case, but Ali won’t budge on that matter. Lucas is a westerner, he’s not a Muslim, and he will never change to that way of life. (Note, Ali doesn’t refute that Lucas will convert to Islam, but rather that Lucas will never behave nor think like a Muslim.) Ali says the young think love conquers all, but those with more years under their belts know that’s not the case. Albi says we cannot ignore their emotions. Albi says we cannot ignore their cultures. (Good contrast of value systems.) And his final word? “Jade will never marry Lucas.”
Jade goes to Cristina’s and says she’s worried about Lucas being around Marisa so much. There is also the problem of Ali taking her back to Morocco to marry the man chosen for her. Cris tells her to ditch them all for the man she loves. Jade asks how they can live without money. Cris has no idea. Being a kept woman, she’s never thought about such trivialities. Then she gets the brilliant idea, you can move in with me. I just wonder who is paying Cristina’s rent these days.
Jade gets home and Ali is waiting. She tries to lie her way out again, but he won’t buy it. He says he’s taking her back to Morocco tomorrow before it’s too late.
Luisa discovers that Albieri brought a second frame so he could have both Laura’s and Luisa’s pictures on his desk. He explains that Laura will always be a part of his life, and if she were here, he’s sure Luisa would like her. Yeah, and pigs might fly. Sylvia some good straight talk to Luisa. “Either you set him straight and tell him he needs to put you first, or you will endure a living hell the rest of your days.” I’ve got to hand it to Sylvia. Before the marriage, she told Luisa to give up on Albieri; it was hopeless. But now that they are married, Sylvia tries to help her make the marriage as good as possible.
Leo tells Albieri that Enrique says Diego could be reincarnated any time now. Albieri asks how Leo would feel if Diego was born “de nuevo,” for example if he was cloned. Leo thinks that’s crazy talk. I also think it’s crazy - Albieri has deluded himself that Lucas’ cells would yield a clone of Diego. Albieri changes the subject to Lucas. He defends Jade’s family. Leo is sure that if Lucas marries Jade he’ll move to Morocco. Albieri warns that those kids are capable of doing anything to be together. If Leo gets in their way they could do something crazy. Leo assures Albi, he’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.
Jade recalls when Lucas told her he loved her. Which should be easy to remember, because that is about the only conversation those two ever have. He honks the horn from down on the street, and she goes out to give him kisses and the news: Ali wants to take her back tomorrow, but Cristina said they can share her apartment, so they need to escape tomorrow morning.
Osvaldo sees his old friend and tells him Dora is completely out of his life. Dora, talking to Luisa, says the same about him. She also ponders why Albieri came to her neighborhood.
The next morning, Ali leaves to visit Mohammed’s shop before going to the airport. As soon as he’s gone, Jade sneaks out with her bags. She calls Lucas from the phone on the street, to say she’s ready to meet him, so he starts to pack his bags. Don’t’ get me started! Jade waits and waits at the jetty, but Lucas doesn’t arrive. That’s because Marisa paid a social call on Lucas. Social call, social diseases.. I wonder if they are related. He says he’s moving in with Jade. Marisa says, “Don’t leave,” and she strips down to her skivvies. She grabs hold of him like a leech, he pulls away like a scared rabbit. Leech, rabbit, leech, rabbit, I lost count of how many times they repeat the loop. He finally escapes her grip and races to find Jade. She has already given up on him, and Ali has taken her to the airport. Lucas gets to the airport just as she’s flying away.
Consider the following. Let’s assume the worst. That Lucas is your basic 20-year-old guy, nothing but sex-crazed hormones. He has a choice.
A. Give in to this skank whore who was his brother’s novia, with who-knows-how-many STD’s considering her behavior. And keep the love of his life waiting, when at any moment her uncle might discover them and whisk her away.
B. Delay his gratification for all of 10 minutes, go collect Jade from the beach, take her to Cristina’s, and spend the rest of the day playing doctor. With the love of his life, the woman of his dreams, etc., Who, by the way, doesn’t have any STD’s unless Lucas does. And who also, by the way, has a bigger chest and way better hair.
Hmm. Skank whore now. Or love of my life, ten minutes from now. Decisions, decisions. Monty Hall, Carol Merrill, and the whole audience is yelling “Door Number One!” but Lucas just can’t decide what he wants to do. Yes, Lucas finally does escape from Marisa, but gee, that was earth-shatteringly stupid, even for Telenovela-land!
Tomorrow, Jade and Said’s wedding, and an unexpected wedding guest, one in a veil and facial hair. Tiziano, are you listening?
Said overhears Zoraida saying that Jade is in love with Lucas. While still in a daze, Tio Abdul steps up and starts telling him that he is a business genius and he’s going to be very rich. But all Said can think of is Jade and the magic she worked on him, and his detestable rival Lucas. He asks Tio, what is the punishment for a man who corrupts a maiden. Abdul is aghast. Such a degenerate gets 80 lashes. Said speculates, with no particular remorse, that the punishment would kill most men. Abdul points out that both participants are guilty, and both would get the same punishment. Oopsie.
Jade leaves the house, ostensibly to go grocery shopping, but really to call Lucas. She calls his house, and Rosa tells her he left with Marisa and won’t be home for supper. Jade remembers their other conversation about Marisa, and she sees red. And green. Like a Christmas tree! But I don’t think Morocco uses Christmas trees. (Can you tell I’m getting punchy?) Lucas and Marissa are at the beach. She’s in a bikini that can fit into a 35mm film canister. I really don’t care to have her complete butt thrown in my face, thank you, especially as the central focus of an extended scene. As my son said about a certain catalog, looks like Victoria ain’t keeping no secrets! Lucas says that if Albieri’s mission fails, he and Jade will just live together, although it will be a bit complicated with no job, since papa will halt the gravy train. Pobrecito will lose his credit cards and car if he moves out. Let’s think about this. Jade can’t get married because Ali would disapprove. So the best solution is for them to shack up. Because Ali would just loooove that, right?
The ever-helpful Marisa says her father can get him a job. But is he sure he wants to give up everything for Jade. Lucas professes his boundless love, yada yada. Marisa wishes somebody would love her that much. Her fishing works; Lucas tells her how wonderful she is and how any guy would love to be at her side. What a schmuck! Then she asks him to put suntan lotion on her back. Of course she opens the back of her bikini, because heaven forbid that the tiny region covered by the swim suit should not tan. Lucas is uncomfortable. So am I.
Latifa tells Ali she’s kinda’ glad Nariza left. Ali reminds her that she’ll be back, and Latifa needs to treat her with respect, as if she were her mother-in-law. Latifa ponders whether Allah will grant Nariza a husband. Ali says, “A man hopes a wife will bring peace and calm to his house. Doña Nariza takes a storm wherever she goes.”
Albieri shows up at the door of Little Morocco, to talk to Ali. He says he himself found out only recently about the matter with Lucas and Jade. Ali notes that Albieri feels guilty about something; what is it? Albi dodges the question. Albi says he got married, she’s a wonderful woman.. Ali interrupts, “But she doesn’t fill the emptiness in your soul, does she? That emptiness is because you don’t have God (Dios) in your life.” Albi says he left the idea of God a long time ago and doesn’t want to talk about it. Albi pitches Lucas’ case, but Ali won’t budge on that matter. Lucas is a westerner, he’s not a Muslim, and he will never change to that way of life. (Note, Ali doesn’t refute that Lucas will convert to Islam, but rather that Lucas will never behave nor think like a Muslim.) Ali says the young think love conquers all, but those with more years under their belts know that’s not the case. Albi says we cannot ignore their emotions. Albi says we cannot ignore their cultures. (Good contrast of value systems.) And his final word? “Jade will never marry Lucas.”
Jade goes to Cristina’s and says she’s worried about Lucas being around Marisa so much. There is also the problem of Ali taking her back to Morocco to marry the man chosen for her. Cris tells her to ditch them all for the man she loves. Jade asks how they can live without money. Cris has no idea. Being a kept woman, she’s never thought about such trivialities. Then she gets the brilliant idea, you can move in with me. I just wonder who is paying Cristina’s rent these days.
Jade gets home and Ali is waiting. She tries to lie her way out again, but he won’t buy it. He says he’s taking her back to Morocco tomorrow before it’s too late.
Luisa discovers that Albieri brought a second frame so he could have both Laura’s and Luisa’s pictures on his desk. He explains that Laura will always be a part of his life, and if she were here, he’s sure Luisa would like her. Yeah, and pigs might fly. Sylvia some good straight talk to Luisa. “Either you set him straight and tell him he needs to put you first, or you will endure a living hell the rest of your days.” I’ve got to hand it to Sylvia. Before the marriage, she told Luisa to give up on Albieri; it was hopeless. But now that they are married, Sylvia tries to help her make the marriage as good as possible.
Leo tells Albieri that Enrique says Diego could be reincarnated any time now. Albieri asks how Leo would feel if Diego was born “de nuevo,” for example if he was cloned. Leo thinks that’s crazy talk. I also think it’s crazy - Albieri has deluded himself that Lucas’ cells would yield a clone of Diego. Albieri changes the subject to Lucas. He defends Jade’s family. Leo is sure that if Lucas marries Jade he’ll move to Morocco. Albieri warns that those kids are capable of doing anything to be together. If Leo gets in their way they could do something crazy. Leo assures Albi, he’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.
Jade recalls when Lucas told her he loved her. Which should be easy to remember, because that is about the only conversation those two ever have. He honks the horn from down on the street, and she goes out to give him kisses and the news: Ali wants to take her back tomorrow, but Cristina said they can share her apartment, so they need to escape tomorrow morning.
Osvaldo sees his old friend and tells him Dora is completely out of his life. Dora, talking to Luisa, says the same about him. She also ponders why Albieri came to her neighborhood.
The next morning, Ali leaves to visit Mohammed’s shop before going to the airport. As soon as he’s gone, Jade sneaks out with her bags. She calls Lucas from the phone on the street, to say she’s ready to meet him, so he starts to pack his bags. Don’t’ get me started! Jade waits and waits at the jetty, but Lucas doesn’t arrive. That’s because Marisa paid a social call on Lucas. Social call, social diseases.. I wonder if they are related. He says he’s moving in with Jade. Marisa says, “Don’t leave,” and she strips down to her skivvies. She grabs hold of him like a leech, he pulls away like a scared rabbit. Leech, rabbit, leech, rabbit, I lost count of how many times they repeat the loop. He finally escapes her grip and races to find Jade. She has already given up on him, and Ali has taken her to the airport. Lucas gets to the airport just as she’s flying away.
Consider the following. Let’s assume the worst. That Lucas is your basic 20-year-old guy, nothing but sex-crazed hormones. He has a choice.
A. Give in to this skank whore who was his brother’s novia, with who-knows-how-many STD’s considering her behavior. And keep the love of his life waiting, when at any moment her uncle might discover them and whisk her away.
B. Delay his gratification for all of 10 minutes, go collect Jade from the beach, take her to Cristina’s, and spend the rest of the day playing doctor. With the love of his life, the woman of his dreams, etc., Who, by the way, doesn’t have any STD’s unless Lucas does. And who also, by the way, has a bigger chest and way better hair.
Hmm. Skank whore now. Or love of my life, ten minutes from now. Decisions, decisions. Monty Hall, Carol Merrill, and the whole audience is yelling “Door Number One!” but Lucas just can’t decide what he wants to do. Yes, Lucas finally does escape from Marisa, but gee, that was earth-shatteringly stupid, even for Telenovela-land!
Tomorrow, Jade and Said’s wedding, and an unexpected wedding guest, one in a veil and facial hair. Tiziano, are you listening?
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Great recap of a very silly episode, Paula. I was thinking that you could title it as a paraphrase of the song from My Fair Lady, 'She getting married in the morning. Get me to the beach on time!'
What is the matter with Lucas? Is Jade his true love or is he so bowled over when a woman comes after him that he can't just push her aside and walk out the door?
I agree with you, Paula. That was a lot more of Marisa than I needed to see.
And why did they have to meet on the beach in the first place? Why couldn't they have met at Cristina's house?
I understand that Lucas and Jade can't get together for plot reasons but they could make that happen more sensibly than they have.
One tiny correction: I don't think Latifa asks if Ali will marry Nariza. She asks if Allah will grant Nariza a husband.
What is the matter with Lucas? Is Jade his true love or is he so bowled over when a woman comes after him that he can't just push her aside and walk out the door?
I agree with you, Paula. That was a lot more of Marisa than I needed to see.
And why did they have to meet on the beach in the first place? Why couldn't they have met at Cristina's house?
I understand that Lucas and Jade can't get together for plot reasons but they could make that happen more sensibly than they have.
One tiny correction: I don't think Latifa asks if Ali will marry Nariza. She asks if Allah will grant Nariza a husband.
Paula, I loved your deservedly snarky recap. One great line after another.
So is Lucas really going to end up with Marisa, at least for the next 20 years? Yuck! Then again, perhaps the two of them deserve each other.
At this point, Said seems like a much better prospect for Jade than does Lucas, though Jade probably wouldn't agree.
So is Lucas really going to end up with Marisa, at least for the next 20 years? Yuck! Then again, perhaps the two of them deserve each other.
At this point, Said seems like a much better prospect for Jade than does Lucas, though Jade probably wouldn't agree.
Thank you, Jean. I changed the line about Nariza, and I took your suggestion for the title. I love it!
I woke up to a current article about Morocco (click here) on my Twitter this morning.
I woke up to a current article about Morocco (click here) on my Twitter this morning.
I'm with you, Paula. I hate coming up with titles. There's the pressure to come up with something clever. I usually realize that I'm going to have to come up with a title when I'm finishing up the recap, am tired and have no inspiration.
Thanks for a great recap, Paula. You guys do a great job...!!!
How many times does this make that Lucas stands Jade up...??? It's getting kinda boring.
I didn't appreciatee Marisa baring her butt for us to see...
Ann-NYC
How many times does this make that Lucas stands Jade up...??? It's getting kinda boring.
I didn't appreciatee Marisa baring her butt for us to see...
Ann-NYC
Permalink posted by 
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 11:55:00 AM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 11:55:00 AM EST
Hi Jean, Juanita, Ann - I just read your comments on the other days show, and am glad ya'll seem to be watching ¿Dónde Está Elisa?.
I dvr'd a couple epis and just saw them last night. So far, I am really liking it, and the cast.
I dvr'd a couple epis and just saw them last night. So far, I am really liking it, and the cast.
Permalink posted by : Friday, March 12, 2010 at 12:20:00 PM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 12:20:00 PM EST
Hi Jean, Juanita, Ann - I just read your comments on the other days show, and am glad ya'll seem to be watching ¿Dónde Está Elisa?.
I dvr'd a couple epis and just saw them last night. So far, I am really liking it, and the cast.
I dvr'd a couple epis and just saw them last night. So far, I am really liking it, and the cast.
Permalink posted by : Friday, March 12, 2010 at 12:20:00 PM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 12:20:00 PM EST
Gracias, Paula! I agree about titles...I think I'm all done with a recap, phew! and then I come here to post and it's "Title? What title?" Sometimes it helps to have fresh eyes on the recap...ones that aren't already burned out from the sights *shudder*
Lucas suffers from the same malady as many leading man-boys, they just can't say no to any woman who makes herself available...and if kissed they suffer a bizarre form of temporary paralysis. Novacaine in the lipstick, perhaps?
Lucas suffers from the same malady as many leading man-boys, they just can't say no to any woman who makes herself available...and if kissed they suffer a bizarre form of temporary paralysis. Novacaine in the lipstick, perhaps?
Gee, I thought I was the only one who was title-challenged. ITA with both of you. By the time the recap is done, I'm too fried to be creative. I swear, one night the title will be, "I'm sick of having to think up titles."
Great funny recap, Paula. And thanks, Jean, for the assist on the title. I was laughing out loud.
Lucas doesn't deserve Jade. But there was a bit of a beanie tightening moment. The whole scene fighting off Mariza lasts 2 or 3 minutes, but it seemed like Jade waited hours for him. Are we to assume he started packing late as well?
So far my favorite character is Ali. Yes, he's dragging Jade off to Morocco. But she chose to go and (I didn't see previews) supposedly has chosen to marry Said, giving up on the spineless Lucas.
I like the actor portraying Albieri, but I am a bit tired of the long soul searching scenes with him. We KNOW the clone is going to grow up, so don't insult our intelligence by hinting Albi may somehow get Dora to abort (fat chance).
Yes, I was a bit shocked being confronted by Andrea Lopez' screen-hogging hind end for what seemed like a very long scene. Of course my jealousy at the sight of such a stupendous, un-cellulite-adorned derriere may have been part of this.
I sure hope we aren't going to be subjected to lots of scenes of Nariza nagging Jade when she moves in with the newlyweds!
Lucas doesn't deserve Jade. But there was a bit of a beanie tightening moment. The whole scene fighting off Mariza lasts 2 or 3 minutes, but it seemed like Jade waited hours for him. Are we to assume he started packing late as well?
So far my favorite character is Ali. Yes, he's dragging Jade off to Morocco. But she chose to go and (I didn't see previews) supposedly has chosen to marry Said, giving up on the spineless Lucas.
I like the actor portraying Albieri, but I am a bit tired of the long soul searching scenes with him. We KNOW the clone is going to grow up, so don't insult our intelligence by hinting Albi may somehow get Dora to abort (fat chance).
Yes, I was a bit shocked being confronted by Andrea Lopez' screen-hogging hind end for what seemed like a very long scene. Of course my jealousy at the sight of such a stupendous, un-cellulite-adorned derriere may have been part of this.
I sure hope we aren't going to be subjected to lots of scenes of Nariza nagging Jade when she moves in with the newlyweds!
Permalink posted by : Friday, March 12, 2010 at 2:12:00 PM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 2:12:00 PM EST
Thank you Paula, and a shout out to your son who knows a mad scientist when he sees one; and lol at Victoria has not secrets!
Well I'm more that ready to move swiftly to Dora having a son that 'looks like somebody - but cant' remember who'! This should be fun.
Of course, Ali is to be admired BUT what's with sending a storm into Latifa's garden of Eden.? Distancing himself from the wolf'ess huh? And another li.iing.ering question with this beanie on is, Why doesn't Marisa go after the big fish, Leo?!
Well I'm more that ready to move swiftly to Dora having a son that 'looks like somebody - but cant' remember who'! This should be fun.
Of course, Ali is to be admired BUT what's with sending a storm into Latifa's garden of Eden.? Distancing himself from the wolf'ess huh? And another li.iing.ering question with this beanie on is, Why doesn't Marisa go after the big fish, Leo?!
Many thanks Paula--I had a huge laugh over your "leech--rabbit--leech--rabbit" summation of the seduction scene.
And what's with the old "put some sunscreen on me" ploy when they're lounging under a tent?
Joan
And what's with the old "put some sunscreen on me" ploy when they're lounging under a tent?
Joan
Permalink posted by : Friday, March 12, 2010 at 3:35:00 PM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 3:35:00 PM EST
Thanks, Paula. I'm voting with those who saw a little too much of Marisa for a little too long. Wow..this mujer is desperate . [She plays a villain in Zorro, too.] I am also voting for Said [''Happy''] who looks less happy as time passes. At this point , he seems to be a better choice as a husband than daffy Lucas who has no job, no resistence, no direction, and , evidently, no watch. I liked the line about Nariza ''taking a storm with her everywhere she goes.'' I must write that one down. I guess we've all known someone who seems to carry a storm with him/her.
Permalink posted by : Friday, March 12, 2010 at 6:08:00 PM EST
: Friday, March 12, 2010 at 6:08:00 PM EST
PaulaH/Jean: really enjoyable recap and a terrific title, too! My beanie must have a short in it. Everytime I stopped to laugh at your common sensical asides I got a shock from it!
Why didn't pobre de Jade ever think about looking for a job, ditching the veil, moving in with Cristina and or otherwise just fading into the city? After all she was born and raised in the States. She has at least a high school education we assume. I suppose I just need to rewire my beanie.
Why didn't pobre de Jade ever think about looking for a job, ditching the veil, moving in with Cristina and or otherwise just fading into the city? After all she was born and raised in the States. She has at least a high school education we assume. I suppose I just need to rewire my beanie.
I finally watched this episode last night, I'm a couple days late. I can't believe all the Marissa bare butt hate! This might be my favorite episode ever just for all of that. I do agree that Lucas is an idiot, no matter how great the girl looked it's not so difficult to just leave the room, especially if he's so in lurrrvvv with Jade like he says.
Can I expect all the same "oh gosh that's just too much" comments next time some beefcake is around showing off his body? We men need something to watch too!
Actually - I was really surprised how long they had her butt on screen when they were at the beach. Not complaining, but surprised.
Can I expect all the same "oh gosh that's just too much" comments next time some beefcake is around showing off his body? We men need something to watch too!
Actually - I was really surprised how long they had her butt on screen when they were at the beach. Not complaining, but surprised.
Oh yeah - and I am with you all on the whole Jade/Lucas meetup being completely stupid. She should have gone to Cristina's house and they could have met up there. I even said to my wife, "why does she go all the way out to the beach, then walk out in the sand to the water, when he is coming in a car to pick her up? He's not coming in a boat." Silliness.
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