Caray, Caray!

Dora calls Albieri from the taxi. He runs out to meet her. Betty Brown and Dr. Molina argue in his head, about where he goes from here. As her taxi pulls up, he says to himself, “Now the moment of truth has arrived.” Don’t count on it, Tutz! Dora complains about the contractions, and Albi answers, “I almost became a priest, and then I renounced the church. But I always stuck to my ethics.” Gee, that was random! But he does tell her that favorite telenovela line, Tranquilizate. While Albi takes Dora to the hospital, Luisa sits at home and cries.

Vicky sees Osvaldo at the club and reminds him that Dora’s due date is soon. He answers, “What’s it to me?” and goes off mumbling, “Women! Traitors! Sassafrasafrasa.”

Leo checks in on Lucas who is getting ready to go out to the bars with his buddies. Leo worries about Lucas’ mole, but Lucas tells him Tranquilizate and walks out. Leo asks Rosa where Albieri is because he wants to ask about that mole. He reminds Rosa that the boys’ mother died of a cancerous mole, and they are hereditary. He wonders whether Lucas’ children will have them.

In the hospital lobby, we get our only fleeting glance at Dora’s belly in the whole episode - they avoid that shot in the rest of the cap. We discover that they didn’t waste money on a big pregnancy pad like you’d expect from a woman about to deliver. Maybe a 6-month belly, tops.

Cristina rushes into the hospital to see Dora, but she runs into Leo instead. He assumes she’s following him. She assumes he’s still nuts for her. No, just nuts. Cris refers to all Leo’s friends who used to flirt with her, and suddenly Leo wants names and places. We never do see Cris visiting Dora. In the delivery room, Dora is straining and Albieri is staring and sweating. And staring and sweating.

At home, Luisa explains to Julio that Albi had a special bond with Diego. He saw his birth and even cut the cord. Julio asks about children, and Luisa says she has arrived at a decision. I wonder whether she’ll mention it to her husband.

Dora pushes and Albieri stares and sweats. The attending doctor invites Albieri to catch the baby. Albi worries that it will be deformed, so he pinches his eyes shut to chase away the thought. With his eyes shut, he misses and the baby pops out and lands on his head. “Mrs. Williams! I dropped the baby on his head! I don’t know why.“ No, not really. Albi finally opens his eyes as the baby cries. He’s holding the baby and is amazed that it’s not deformed. He stares and stares. He does notice a large mole. Dora waits and waits. She just went through hours of labor, and that lunatic won’t giver her her baby. I’d start throwing things at Albi! Give me my dang baby!!! The attending doctor tries to give the baby to Dora, but Albi won’t let go! Dora is stunned by how white the baby is.

As the clone is being born, Lucas, on the other side of town, doubles over in pain, from Telenovela Telepathy.

In Morocco, Said tells Jade he’s going to Cairo this week and he wants to take Jade. She’s staying in bed late, thinking about today being Lucas’ wedding day. It’s also morning in Miami, which is strange, considering they are 7 hours apart. Rosa comes in to waken Lucas. He’s 20 and his nana still barges into his room before he’s out of bed in the morning??? Lucas says that yesterday he had an incident where he felt like Diego was trying to communicate with him.

Jade is having serious trouble coping with the fact that it’s Lucas’ wedding day. Zoraida counsels Jade to use this Cairo trip to get closer to her husband. She could be very happily married to such a fine young man. After all, Mónica quit loving Andres and fell much more passionately in love with Juan del Diablo. Matilda got over Adolfo Solis and fell much more passionately in love with Manuel. And Jade could have the same chance, if she wasn’t so stubborn and self-absorbed. Jade tells Zoraida she will change who she is. She will stop feeling but put on an act. The Jade who gave herself totally to love is gone; she died.

Luisa tells the silent Albieri that she’s sure he’s obsessed with the idea of having a child (that was random!), and that very soon she will have a surprise for him. The wedding is strange. There are a total of 16 people, and that includes the bride, groom, and priest. Everyone except Leo and Rosa, Albieri and Luisa are between 20 and 30 years old, and everyone appears single. Where are the bored, noisy children? Where is Aunt Mildred who wears too much perfume, and Uncle Merlin who always drinks too much at weddings? Where is Marisa’s family? Where are Leo’s business associates and the rest of his employees? Lucas and Marisa exchange vows and are pronounced married. Lucas kisses the bride but imagines Jade. This does not bode well for their happily ever after.

Said sees Jade in her new clothes and he is very impressed. She’s also much less cold to him than usual, a moment that gives Said cause to hope. She even smiles at him.

Nariza complains to Said that he’s spending too much money on Jade. Said tells her, and I quote, “Nobody asked your opinion.” Of course, she keeps going and he tells her, “Enough!” So instead she lays into Jade. She accuses Jade of spending Said’s money to look good for another man. She doesn’t get Jade as upset as she’d like, so she calls Mohammed and asks him why Latifa isn’t pregnant yet. Does he have some problem? You can imagine how Mohammed loves hearing that accusation! He tells her nothing is wrong with him, so Nariza says there must be a problem with Latifa.. She says if they were doing what they are supposed to do, she’d be pregnant. He hangs up on her. Gee, I wonder why on one wants to marry Nariza. Latifa is afraid that Nariza is trying to get Mohammed a second wife, or that he wants a second wife. She’s in a panic, but he swears three times that he won’t take a second wife. He does wonder why she’s not pregnant. Latifa answers, “Allah will send a child when he wants to, not when Nariza wants it.”

At the wedding reception, already Marisa is off with her girlfriends and Lucas is huddled with his buddies. So much for starry-eyed lovebirds. His buddies got him a wedding gift - a belly dancer who starts performing for Lucas alone. Of course Lucas imagines Jade and can’t take her eyes off of her. A barely-clad dancer, bouncing and bobbling for the groom, at the wedding? Bachelor party, yes. But the wedding? Tighten the beanies. Marisa throws a rod. She accuses Lucas of planning it. He turns on his heel and walks into the house. Next she turns on the dancer and says, “Get out of MY house.” Gee, no grass grows under her feet!

Cut to Dora’s hospital room. The baby is in the bassinette next to her bed. You’d think, as much as she wanted this baby, that he’d be in her arms every moment, but we’ve barely seen her hold him at all. She tells Albieri that the baby has a mole that is normally inherited from the mother, but she doesn’t have one. She asks Abli to explain. She also asks why her baby is so white. So much for the moment of truth Albi promised at the start of the cap. He mumbles something about a white cat in the attic. Albi picks up the baby and we noticed that the baby’s hair has changed from blond and short to brown and long, overnight.

Marisa lays into Lucas for embarrassing her in front of the guests.
Marisa: You’re upset, not by memories of Diego, but of that filthy Arab woman.
Lucas jumps up: Never talk like that about Jade!
M: I’ll talk about her however I want. And I won’t let you humiliate me like this. Come back outside this instant, and act as if nothing happened.
L: I can’t. And I didn’t humiliate you. What happened to you is the same as what happened to me. When you saw me, you remembered Diego. You’re only with me because I’m his brother.
M: That’s not true. You think no one realizes she still matters to you? Everyone’s talking about it. Put on a happy face and come downstairs right now or you’ll never see me again. (So what’s the down side?)
L: Do what you wish.
Rosa opens the door and stands there, listening to the newlyweds quarrel. I’m disliking Rosa more and more by the day. Marisa starts grandstanding for Rosa’s sake, suddenly playing the humble victim. Leo comes in and orders Lucas to go apologize to his bride, as if he were a five year old who pushed a playmate off the swings. And Lucas obeys. He says, “I’m sorry” but hardly looks at her. She says, “I’ve put up with plenty from you, but I forbid you to ever put her in the middle of our relationship.” (Ya’ know, people have complained about Mohammed and Said pushing their wives around, but those two are pussycats compared to Marisa.) He orders her to stop speaking of Jade. And Marisa orders him to stop thinking about her.

Albi is holding the clone baby and pondering. Should he keep the news hidden, or announce to the world the first clone baby. Dora asks Albieri to be the godfather of the baby. A man who has renounced all belief in God. Okey-dokey. But Dora has already asked Cristina to be the godmother, and Dora worries that Luisa will be upset. Not to worry, what Luisa thinks never matters to Albieri. All that matters to him is that he has the right to name the baby, and he wants it to be Diego. But Dora wants it to be Osvaldo. So they use both. Albi is delighted. “My boy will be named Diego.” This alarms Dora; she begins to wonder if Albieri is a little strange. Descubrió que el agua moja (she discovered that water makes things wet).

Lucas sits, pondering, and determines that the dream of Jade is dead. He will devote himself to being happy with Marisa. Just then the phone rings. It’s Jade.

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