Caray, Caray!

Well, this I don't like one little bit. Coni has been enlisted as momma's (Valentina's mamá, that is) little helper. She has agreed to get Monita out of the house for a bit while Sneaky Snake carries out some vile plan she has up her sleeve (Emilia, why would a snake need sleeves, anyway?). Nosiree, Coni certainly needs no outside encouragement to pursue her dark side, but here she is, challenging Moni to a duel (well, of fisticuffs) at César's Gym... tonight. 10:00. "You and I... alone." Isabel lamely and vainly tries to discourage Moni, but our little monkey chooses this inopportune moment to standup to mommy; wouldn't you know it? She accepts the taunting challenge. The way will be clear for Issy to work her evil unmolested. Connie takes her leave, "Don't make me wait."

Our drug-addled little puppy is home (poor baby doesn't even know he has be liberated), overlooks Jaqui's note, and checks the place out. Looks like no one is home; the coast is clear (where the heck is Britni-Sofia?). He invites in his new BFFs, who scamper inside like rats fleeing the rays of the sun. Aldo begins laying out food for the ravenous rodents who greedily help themselves. One of his new buds keeps Aldo occupied with conversation while the other, excusing himself to go potty, scurries about the house collecting cash and concealable valuables from various rooms. Having lunched and looted, the vagrants exit with the malleable Aldo in tow, leaving behind an unsuspecting Britni-Sophia who is enjoying a well-deserved but ill-timed break from her chores, by luxuriating in a huge tub filled with bubbles as she leisurely sips soda and chatters on the phone with her mamacita.

Nieves has a date. Estrella pops in as she is finishing up her preparations for a dinner date with Marcos. Taxi's here.Her blouse is an interesting choice. It is a multicolored, iridescent, horizontally striped little number with the buttons slightly strained by he ample bosom struggling for breathing space. Estrella approves but thinks she should reveal a bit more bosom. Nieves is nervous and doesn't want Monita to learn of her assignation. She still has her ringlets, two for the forehead and two over each ear, rolled tightly waiting to spring forth as narrow corkscrews to adorn her face. I'd say marginally better than her former Shih Tzu coiffures.

Marcos seems excited about their date. He looks very presentable in a dark navy suit, starched white shirt, and a snappy tie with diagonal narrow red and silver stripes, very natty. Someone's at his apartment door, he opens it expectantly. Uh oh. It's Jaqui. She is wearing a jacket constructed of a zillon dead weasels with a contrasting shawl collar of red fox or possibly Persian cat. Well, heck, a bit of a mixup. "I've got a very important appointment (cita), can we do this tomorrow night?" Jaqueline, will habe none of it. She has made hrself beautiful for this special date, "So tonight it is, Buster." My heart goes out to Marcos. Who of us hasn't double-booked an evening with significant others?

Nieves is still getting ready with Estrela's help. She tells Estrella that Marcos named Beto as General Manager of Groupo Sermeño so he will be worthy of his Coni. She's not so sure that Coni's worthy of her baby boy, but is certain that there is no chance that he can stop loving her. Estrella hurries her up, "Taxi's waiting!"adding the finishing touches with blasts of naca perfume aimed at strategic body parts.

Marcos tries to explain that he has forgotten until now a very important business meeting. Nopis, Jaqui will not be denied. As Marcos notes, Jaqui's desires always prevail. "So how about Restaurante del Lagos?" Jaqui likes and on their way out, Jaqui observes prophetically, "I promise you, this will be an unforgettable night." We've high hopes as well.

Moni arrives at the gym as César is about to lock up. He asks why she is there so late, Monita tells him that she came to notify him of Nieves' dinner date with Marcos at Restaurante del Lagos and expects him to fight for her. She notes that he he seems a bit down. he sadly tells her that he hopes they have a good time. Oh no! César can't give up in defeat. The important thing right now is for him to win back Nieves. He's not convinced... yet.

We hear laughter on the playground as we see a patrol car drive by an we see other couples strolling. Here's our focus of interest, it's Tepid Tedious Tano once again out of his price range, escorting an unusually perky Paula. Their mirth seems a bit phony and strained, but... OK, I can see no real harm in this. They each pick a swing and settle in for more aimless banter. Both are nicely dressed, Tano in Dockers, A red shirt, brown leather jacket and loafers. Not bad. Pau looks wholesome in dungarees with matching jacket, tee shirt, and black boots. He can't believe she's so nice. He asks her what she thinks of him now. She relies that he is enchanting. Gack! Nearby the patrol car rolls to a stop. Inside are Cristian and... Beto? Beto points out our couple on the swings. Cristian has a plan. Beto wants to help, but Beto is hungry. Cristian wants to get on with his plan. If he helps he'll feed Beto anything he wants. Apparently it involves a costume for Beto. Oh my! This can't possibly go well.

Moni thought that César was prepared to do anything to regain Nieves. He wavers... Moni the highly qualified relationship counselor/boxing trainer springs into action, giving him a motivational lecture that Knute Rockne would be proud of as she massages his biceps and loosens his back with brisk toning karate chops, "Get out there and fight for the woman you love!" Inspired, Don César assumes a boxers stance, dances around, throws a few feigned jabs and is ready for battle. "¡Eso! ¡Eso!" Moni is delighted. She sends the now enthusiastic warrior on his way. Her brow furrows as her countenance darkens, "I'm waiting for you Momia..."

Much to Beto's horror, Cristian pulls out a knife (ya call that a knife?) and appears to stab himself in the neck. Not to worry, it's plastic with a collapsable blade, all part of the clever plan. Beto is to disguise himself and accost Tano and Pau, maybe rough Tano up a bit, and then Cristian will rush up and... Oh no! This can't possibly go well.

Isabel is busy proceeding with her own well laid out plan. She is busy crushing a tablet into powder with a steaming cup of coffee nearby and as Alicia storms in, chattering like a Dexed-up magpie, with her ubiquitous fan fluttering in overdrive, she dumps the powdered granules into the cup. Now I doubt that any of us really quarrel very much with this part of Issy's plan. If you intends to sedate the babbling Alicia... carry on, snake lady. Isabel calmly listens until there is a brief opening as Alicia pauses to take a breath, Then begins telling Alicia about her plan to reunite M&M. Hurry up and offer her the cup. She tells Alicia a cock'n bull story of a plot that she and Estrella have come up with to get M&M together at Estre's place. Alicia wants to be a part. Hey, why not? She can tell Mau to meet Monita at Estre's. Now drink your coffee.

Alicia is concerned that the coffee will keep her awake, "Is it decaf?" Issy assures her that she will sleep like a doormouse (lirón). NOW DRINK THE DANG COFFEE!

"Buenas noches, Mona." Coni confidently strides into th gym, black gloves in hand (significant? Most boxing goves are reddish brown, Moni's are pink... Hombre?). Both are lovely tonght, Moni, pretty in pink, Coni, more earthy, yet lovely n a designer tee which announces, "You Drive Me Crazy!" and pants. They glare.

We've made our way to the restaurant and find Jaqui and Marcos seated at a table in front of a huge aquarium. She has molted. The superfluous outer fur has given way to reveal a soft silky pink white and black dress with deep neckline. Nice. Jaqui loves the place, it's been sooo long. It always makes her feel very romantic and frisky. She expresses her exuberance by grabbing that beautiful silver and red tie, pulling him close, moving in, besos... "Waiter!" The officious waiter promptly responds, "Buenas noches, bienvenidas. What will you folks have tonight?" Jaqui will have Lobster Thermidor. Marcos, who looks to have a rather busy evening ahead orders just a salad, "But not César, por favor," he ruefully adds. She is surprised that's all he's having and he counters that she should watch her cholesterol so as not to have an infarction, but quickly notes that that is unlikely since she has no heart. "More Champagne?" She eagerly accepts,Why not, the night is young and we don't yet know what surprises await us." They toast to the tricks that both may have up their sleeves. With Jaqui, Marcos notes, one never knows from where a rabbit (liebre) might jump (saltar) out. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Since he went only twenty minutes before she suggests he have his prostate checked. They really do make a cute if edgy couple.

At a distant table Nieves is absorbed in the menu. He asks what she'll have. She wants soperitos con pollo but can't find them on the menu. "¿Sopesitos?" No problem, he calls over the waiter. He asks for sopes con pollo for Nieves, the waiter scowls disapprovingly, "Did you hear me?" The waiter weakly smiles at Nieves and nods. "Marcos, do you remember?" She offers up her...nose? He remembers and they rub noses as a suffering César helplessly looks on biting his fists.

Aldo and his rodential friends have arrived in the alleyway of the home of the kindly dope peddler. Aldo assures Simón that he has anything they need. They knock, KDP, seeing that it's Aldo, who reassures him that they've brought money, invites them in.

Back at the Bat Cave, Teri is delighted to be reunited with the Femsibs, Luisa and Dani. Iván beams. Luisa grouses about life with the Mummy, but an optimistic Iván reassures her that is in the past and he has no doubt that Mao will permit him and Luisa to be novios. Teri thinks that's a great idea. Mauricio, not wanting to spoil the moment, agrees. Dani wants to know why Moni is not there with them. Mao too, is disappointed but at the moment his main concern is the missing hijo, Aldo.

Taking note that they are here all alone and Coni has no one to wrap her hands, Moni guesses they will have to fight bare knuckled (puños limpios). Not to worry, here's la Guerrera. Moni is suspicious but la G assures her that she is here to aid them and act as referee. She smiles a broad toothy smile as she proceeds in wrapping Coni's hands.

Still in the patrol car, Cristian is giving last minute instructions to Beto, now decked out in dark clothes with the requisite dark ski mask. Beto assures him that he will be the best mugger (ratero) ever. Oh yes! This can't possibly go well. Beto will hide, and as Cristian makes the block, lurk, and then attack, then... Beto hops out, heads for a clump of trees, pauses to puke... Oh crap! This can't... you know.

The happy couple stroll up on cue, Beto leaps out, knife in hand, "Hands up!" He orders them into the alley, tilting his head to ogle Pau's butt as they proceed.

Nieves enjoys her sopesitas as Marcos looks on lovingly. He goes to work. "Nieves, you know, all these years I haven't been able to stop thinking of your lips..." "Ay, Marcos." " I've missed your kisses so much. I've waited so long to feel the warmth of your skin, your lips on mine..." He moves in for a kiss and gets a bite of sopesito instead. He doesn't miss a beat. Across the room, César is fit to be tied. Nieves dabs at Marcos lips with her napkin. Oops time for another trip to el baño.

He hurries back to the other table, followed discreetly by César, where Jaqui was about to start on her lobster without him. She complains. He explains. Old friend in the john. She mentions that since he's aged, trips to the bathroom are taking him longer. He reminds her that in spite of her injections and unguents , she has gotten old as well. Jaqui really is feeling frisky. Once more she grabs his tie and pull him close, "Come here!" She wants a reminder of what it's like to kiss a man of this nature. "Come here papá, this is the first of what I expect of you tonight." César is scandalized. "Dinner with two women at the same time!"

Back in the 'hood, a yawning Alicia is delighted about her role as cupid. Isabel sends her to do her part as she, herself, knocks on Estre's door. "May I come in? We need to talk."

Alicia is calling Mao from the community phone. She urges him to hurry over, Monita wants to talk. She yawns, "She wants to meet you at Estrella's so you want be bothered by Isabel." Her spiked coffee is kicking in. She goes to look for a bed.

Coni is gloved now and she and Monita are faced off in the ring. Ana Maria (la G) gives them instructions, " A fair fight. No eye gouging or ear biting." Heck!

Coni's ready to go. Moni has a trobled face and remembers... She remember Mauricio informing her that Constanza is her sister. Coni launches some wild jabs, backs up, then lunges. Moni steps aside and Coni tumbles right through the ropes, out of the ring, and onto the floor as Moni and la G look on astonished. From across the continent, Carlos hears the satisfied laughter of the anti-Coni faction of Club Gancho. How humiliating for our Coni. Disgusted Moni holds out her fists and demands that la G remove the gloves. "Are you backing out (te estás rejando), Monita?" "Of course not. There's no way that the Mummy is prepared for a fight." Coni, boldly, but not wisely, crawls back into the ring insisting that the fight continue. The girl's game. Not good, but game. Moni critiques her form and style. She reminds Moni that the pigsty (pocilga) where she and her friends live is in play. Moni tells her to get Beto to train her better. "Meanwhile, don't come near me." Coni frowns. la G tells her that she is lucky. "Monita could have killed you."

As the others finish dinner, Teri tucks in Dani. Mao excuses himself to go meet Moni. Teri reassures him that they will let him know when they hear from Aldo. Don't worry, Aldo is a sensible (sensato) boy. Mao tells Luisa to behave. As he leaves, Iván queries his granny, "¿Aldo, sensato? I don'tbelieve that." "Nor I," Luisa adds. Nor we.

Speaking of, Aldo and the boys duck out of the way as Cristian's patrol car cruises by and pulls over. The lads think that it'd be good sport to assault Cristian. Aldo helplessly objects as they do just that. From behind the two grab him, bend him over the hood of he car and when he complains, whacks his head with his own pistol rendering him unconscious. This scene is very troubling on many levels.

Meintras tanto, Beto is marching his victims through the woods. He stops them demanding that they quickly comply with his demands. Timid Tano is ready to hand over his wallet, but Pau sees things differently. She complains and struggles a bit with Beto. Tano butches up and challenges Beto. Beto demonstrates some fancy moves with the knife, but alas, he drops it. Emboldened, Tough guy Tano directs a kick at Beto's nethers. ¡GOL!!! Our little ratero is rendered helpless. Paula, her sadistic bent surfacing, proceeds to kick the unfortunate Beto mercilessly. Tano drags her away as Beto writhes in pain.

Estrella is buying none of Isabel's horse hockey.

Aldo tries vainly to mitigate the assault on Cristian. His chum have reverted to form, taken control and are stripping an unconscious Cristian of clothes, pistol, and order Aldo into the patrol car. This is very bad.

Estrella tells la Serpiente that she is waiting for Moni to come to her senses and see Isabel as she is. She tells her to leave. Issy tells her that she is prepared to tell her the real truth, but it's a long story. She needs a glass of water. Estre fetches the water, Isabel readies her auxiliary surrogate fang, and as Estre is setting the glass down, the vicious viper coils and strikes, plunging the needle into Estre's arm. Ouch. Estre is stunned. "What did you do to me?"

A tearful Moni is walking alone. The harsh reality has settled in, "She's my sister. She's my sister. The Mummy is my sister.

Isabel is busy arranging her little tableau. She has placed Estre in her bed, undressed her, and situated her in a provocative pose. All the while speaking eerily in a soothing manner to the unconscious Estrella. She then calmly sets about readying another syringe. "I expect it won't be long before Mauricio arrives."

As Beto struggles to his feet complaining, Cristian, clad in shorts, shoes, and socks, staggers up. Beto shares his jacket. He curses Paula.

Mao knocks on Estre's door and walks in, looks around, and... Coiled behind the door the snake strikes again. This time Mao's thigh is impaled. "Buena noches, Mauricio," She watches impassively as he flounders about briefly as the venom rapidly enters his circulation. Thoughtfully, he collapses on the bed. Issy moves in to strip him and arrange him in the bed, entwined with Estrella. "After this night, Maurcio, Valentina never again believe in you, and even better, the friendship between my daughter and Estrella will be doomed forever." She grabs her wounded shoulder, "Damned shoulder. I want to see the look on Valentina's face when she discovers you together in the same bed."

Having returned to the vecinidad, In her mind Moni hears Mao lauding her dad for facilitating the return of the kids, her mom, saying that Marcos has done two beautiful things in his life, Beto talking about Coni and Mao , she turns around, heads for Estre's apartment, pauses, then starts to enter.

Dr. Judy, score this as an assist. Now for your slam dunk.

Carlos

Labels: gancho