Monday, March 22, 2010

un Gancho al Corazón Mon. 3/22/10 In which, Xime and Arnie star in “The Case Of The Missing Sleuths”

OK Gancho Gang,

Presenting Elna June, that master basketball handicapper, in her debut as a Gancho recapper:


Our mystery opens with a review of much married Marcos telling his ex-wife, the lovely Jacqueline, and his (acknowledged and remembered) daughter, Coni, that his secret is— he has asked Nieves to marry him! Coni is shocked and Jaqueline is not pleased.

Beto and Nieves are at home when Don Cesar arrives in the vecindad with flowers and a plushy toy gift for Nieves. “No te hagas, Nieves,” he begs her; it is a torture for him to miss her kisses. Beto cannot help but comment, grunt and guffaw during this touching scene, but DC tells him to be quiet.

Cut to the Bickersons. Despite Marcos’ shocking news, Coni demands to know why it was so important for her Daddy to meet with Valentina. “Valentina is not a bad person, hija”, Carlos intones, thus avoiding the direct question, as always. And Nieves was his first love. Make that one Ahhh, on the Sweet-o-Meter (SOM). Three Ahhhs is max for the SOM.

In the Ochoa home, Nieves thanks Don Cesar for the gifts but says she has to discover if it is possible to be happy with Marcos; he was her first love. Nieves also scores one ahhh on the SOM… Cesar, in one of the most gracious goodbyes I have ever seen on screen, thanks Nieves for the memories, and wishes her well. But, if she discovers that Marcos is not her true love, he will be waiting. As DC walks away a teary eyed Beto pleads with Nieves, “No le dejes, Mama,”. Ahhhhhh. An SOM three pointer, for sure. Your recapper wipes a tear from her cynical eye.

At the Bickersons, Jaqui is fuming. Coni takes this opportunity to gently hug and mock her Mother. Jaqui, way pissed off, uses the tried-and-true line, “I am your Mother. Respect me”! I have got news for you Jacqui, if you need to resort to that old saw, you long ago lost your kid’s respect. Coni returns to her Father’s side and the two of them share a hearty laugh at Jaqui’s expense.

Coni and Marcos bond further, as she asks her Dad if he thinks her will really be happy with ese mujer (Nieves). What she and Beto have is different, she reminds her Dad. Marcos launches into an impassioned defense of true love; he made a mistake with Nieves, love is eternal, yada yada. Wow, the slippery Marcos has finally swayed your recapper. The SOM pushes past two points. Looks to me like Marcos could charm a hissing cobra out of her basket. Let’s hope he does that to Isabel, and soon.

Now, we are in a car, at night, making our way along on dark country roads with the delightful Ximena and her reluctant sidekick Arnie. Xime, now playing Shirlylock to Arnie’s Dr. Watson, has donned her spy gear and they have set out a mission to follow Jero to Oski’s lair. (Well, Xime has put on a trench coat and jeans and Arnie is wearing that same old boring Member’s Only jacket from the 70’s). Sadly, they neither one have a sense of direction, and, after losing sight of Jero they soon come to a proverbial fork in the road. “Go left,” says she, “Go right”, says he, and not surprisingly our bold detectives soon find themselves lost in the forest at night.

Coni is not about to let her conversation with her Dad end on a sweet note. In the space left after Marcos’ paean to true love, Coni moves in and reminds Daddy that he has not always been respectful about her relationship with Beto. She demands that Marcos honor her choice of Roberto as she accedes to his of Nieves. Marcos admits this is true and father and daughter agree to love and let live. I’ll give this scene .5 on the SOM, mostly because I don’t trust Constanza to keep her half of the bargain.

Meanwhile, looking a bit like a beautiful but wicked queen in a Disney movie, Jaqui swears that “that woman” will not get married to Marcos.

Back on the Case of the Missing Sleuths, Xime and Arnie stop their car in the middle of nowhere to consider their options. More “Go left, did we do right, should we have gone right?” wrangling ensues. Arnie is letting his phobias get the best of him and is scared of every little thing on their adventure. He leaves the lights on …and takes a cursory look under the hood, and now, you guessed it! The car won’t start. Arnie instructs Xime to get in the driver’s seat, put the car in neutral. He will give the car a push and when he yells, “Ahora!” she is to stop. (Would that really work? I used to have to clutch-start my old Fiat 124 in college—she had a temperamental starter—but that new Hertz-looking GM number that Arnie was driving looked like an automatic to me. Weigh in on this all ye auto mechanics)!

Pues, the car starts moving, Arnie yells “Ahora!” and Xime jumps out of the car while it rolls lamely away from them and down into a ravine. Oops. A definite “Oh, sh!#” moment for our clever spies. Abandoning the car, they wander down the road in the dark, looking for shelter, while Arnie slaps ineffectually at mosquitoes and offers a non-stop rundown of his fears, including cow dung. I wonder, is there anything Arnie is NOT afraid of? I think we have Pan-phobia here. Xime and Arnie wander until they find shelter for the night in some random farmer’s barn.

And the night passes…

It’s morning and Xime has just enjoyed a fine night’s rest asleep in the hay in the country barn. Arnie, however, is in an entirely different condition. Alas, out of his usual sterilized environment, he is overwhelmed, in fact he is standing up and frozen in his fear of the well-known terrors of a farmyard. Dirt and poop and sheep and cows and straw, Oh my!

Xime snaps him out of his paralysis by reminding him of the kisses of Lalu and by chasing him out of the barn threatening to touch him with two handfuls of hay. The missing sleuths now must make their way back to civilization.

Mauricio is back on track. Actually he is back on the track. He does a few laps with Tano timing him and then treats us to the full Danica Patrick hair-shake-out as he doffs his helmet and fireproof headgear. He talks to Tano about Aldo. Tano thinks Aldo will be fine.

In la vecindad Estrella has a plan. She lures Moni out of the house and away from Hissy for a little girlfriend bonding. Valentina gets the dreaded camera and they head out for Xochimilco. We can only hope she drops the Kodak in a canal.

Back in the city, Aldo is not having a good morning. In the last 24 hours he has found his lover in bed with his dad, and he has barely escaped being involved in an armed robbery attempt made by his new (NOT) friends. Now we find dear Aldo hungry and under a bridge. Hey wait, I though that was just an empty threat that Mothers used to scare their children back into school. Nope, Aldo is down and out and is only saved from hunger when a littering stranger throws a half eaten sandwich over the bridge. Aldo scoops up the eats and devours them ravenously. Unfortunately, he can’t get the picture of Estrella and Mau out of his head. (I don’t blame him! That is high-trauma drama, my friends). Poor Aldo, he has acted foolishly, but he is young and I am very sorry for his plight.

At Ximena’s place, Rolu is worried about his missing wife and brother. Lalu has no doubts about his dear Arnie’s bravery and rhapsodizes about how Arnie is protecting Xime from danger. Rolu is having none of it. He gets exasperated, turns his wheelchair on a dime and turns his back to Lalu’s musings. Please, writers, can we get sweet Lalu a real relationship?

Valentina and Estrella have made their wandering way down to the canals. Surprise! There is a pleasure boat docked right in front of them and she is named, “Valentina”. A SOM one pointer. Naturally, the gals hop aboard, and the watercraft (help me out here Sylvia, what is this thing called?) is poled out about 3 feet into the canal by a gondolier. Clue alert! The gondolier is wearing a cotton sport jacket instead of the traditional striped shirt. Just in time, Estrella hops off the boat onto the dock and Monita is stranded (in four inch heels on a boat anyone would be stranded, I think) with the gondolier who is quickly revealed to be—Du-ta-da-Duh! Our own Mauricio. Score a three point SOM.Ahhhhh.

Mau and Monita rehash the same old stuff and he chases her around the table in the middle of the little boat. A fracas ensues, Monita delivers a punch but Mauricio grabs her and holds her. Now he reminds her of their time in the Yucatan, their love in the cenote, and we see lots of happy flashbacks of these two. The SOM strains to keep up, it’s so darn sugary.

Back at Monita’s house, poor, poor Isabel is back from her trip to the doctor and her head hurts. (Sssssserves her right! Trying to keep all of her ssssschemes ssssstraight would give anyone a tension headache!) Alicia, or Aliblahblah, as Sylvia so aptly named her, continues to be a mattering nutjob. Isabel begs for silence, but Alicia seems to think that silence is overrated as she continues her endless chatter. Now, I am thinking that Hissy has clearly lost her touch. If there is anybody she should take out with a needle-fang it is Alicia.

On the boat in the canal M & M look equally beautiful as he tells her that she must believe and listen to him. He wants her to be his life, wife, and mother of his children. Alas, the SOM finally explodes as they kiss.

Back in the woods, Ximena is a true heroine as she sings “Somos exploradores” imagining they are in the Himalayas, and she continues to lure lame Arnie along a slapstick forest journey with thoughts of food and baths. She is sprightly and light as she dances across the rugged terrain. She uses the carrot and stick as she makes her way over canyons and ravines, leading the way home. Arnie whinges and cringes at every branch, leaf, ant, bee and mosquito. At one point poor Arnie even sits on an anthill and gets REAL ants in his pants. He plunges himself into a creek to remove the ant colony.

But, I have faith in our erstwhile detectives. They will make their way home. I think this little jaunt will either kill or enhance their mutual attraction and it is acting as behavioral therapy to help Arnie face his fears. The adventures encountered on the ‘Case of the Missing Sleuths’ might just cure Arnie’s OCD.

If not, ya basta, Arnie! I can recommend a good shrink. You take your meds like a good boy and give it a rest. You are not good enough for Xime unless you get our of your self-absorbed fear bubble.

Avances: Our delightful final scenes leave us with a tease… M&M are walking down a candlelit path in his house….. toward…? Will M&M be making steamy and romantic congress soon?
And Xime and Arnie are joined by a hive of bees in the next part of their forest adventure.

To my friends at Gancho I offer the following (oft quoted) quoted apology,

“I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short (Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue parceque je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte)~Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales (1656-1657), no. 16.

Elna June

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Comments:
Carlos:

Thanks so much for posting this. Also, thanks all for your many kind wishes as I completed my first recap. Whew. I think I'll pour myself a glass of Frick C3, and take a breather.

EJ
 

Mariviguau, Elna June!

What an impressive first recap. You captured it all. Your running scene comparisons on the SOM were wonderful. I especially liked your comment that the SOM strains to keep up with Mau & Moni because it's so sugary. Also "Arni has real ants in his pants",
"high trauma drama" and "ssssssserves her right".

This was a fun episode. The scenes with DC, Nieves & Beto and also with Marcos & Coni were well acted and sweet.

The Xime/ Arnie caper was priceless. I loved it when they got back in the car speaking the same lines. They are definitely median naranjas. Xime is sure to be the cure for his OCD.

Loved the episode & loved your recap.

Güera
 

Elna June.. Master recapper, master title maker. The ROM, recap-o-meter, is pegging at a 3. :)

Shirlylock and Dr. Watson were quite the trip. I think they lost Jero because some bugs were bothering Arnie and he lost control for a bit. I'm just wondering if he'll survive until they get back. It might either cure the OCD or send if gibbering into some closet somewhere never to be seen again.

"treats us to the full Danica Patrick hair-shake-out ", I saw that and said, Que? Did I just see that.

Aliblahblah, "Sssssserves her right!", you bet. Hissy will sure start putting her to sleep soon and often. Hissy won't have enough left to use on others.

Elna June, great job with the recap. Great pick with Cornell. Sorry about Cal.
 

Oh, and I also loved the Blaise Pascal quote.

Güera
 

Elna June,

Absolutely great. Thanks for giving me a little break. I think that you've demonstrated that you are more than ready for recapping. Full of humor, wit and detail, crisply crafted... I'm envious.

What a fun episode as well. Ximy and Arnie are great together, certainly as friends, I'm even less sure about their potential as lovers, however.

Moni and Mao together again, but for how long.

Cesar was very charming and persuasive.

My favorite scene was between Coni and Marcos. Very convincing as father and daughter.

Once again, thanks for filling in for me. I owe you one.

Carlos
 

Really liked Cesar. I'll be waiting for you. A SOM three pointer for sure.
 

Guera:

Thanks for your kind words.It WAS a fun episode to re-cap. Very little of that pesky dialogue to translate, lucky for me!

JeffMN: Thank you!!Great comment on Arnie. You know what they say about behavioral therapy for phobias, it will either kill you or cure you! Arnie could go either way, no?

And Carlos, Frick is one of my very favorite wineries. Bill Frick is a friend and his Rhone style blends are some of the best in the US, I think. We will surely plan a visit to Frick for anyone who comes out to the accordion festival.
 

EJ, where have you been hiding yourself all this time? I knew you would be the best recapper ever! I'm in awe that this was your first recap and you posted so quickly. What kind of vitamins are you taking up there in Sonoma? Must be all that fresh air.

I love your theme tonight, it's very Nancy Drewish. As a mystery lover from way back you hit my sweet spot right out the gate.

Jacqui as the beautiful but wicked Disney queen is perfect, what a great analogy.

As others have said, this was fab episode and you certainly did it justice. I especially like your unique perspective on Arnie and Aldo. It somehow rounds out their characters when you add your two cents worth.

The boat on Xochimilco, well I had to cheat and look them up on Wikipedia. They are called trajineras. They don't have sails but I'd still love to take a trip around the canals on one of them. Wouldn't that be fun?

OK, you are definitely on for Frick winery the weekend of the accordion festival. Woohoo!
 

Wow Elna June. Ditto what everyone said. The Blaise Pascal quote, the Danica Patrick hair shakeout, the sssssssserves her right, wicked queen in the mirror. Also laughed at "Shirleylock" and since I find transitions the very devil, really appreciated your "cut to the Bickersons".

Clearly Cesar is the one for Nieves. As soon as he said When one loves, one wants first and foremost the other's happiness (well, something like that)he hit a home run. And "if things don't work out, I'll be waiting for you"...round the bases and score!

I thought I caught a glimpse of Salvador in the very last preview that shows after the credits. Do Xime and Arnie run into him? Sure hope so!

Absolutely stunning debut. You're hired! (we'll discuss pay and benefits later)
 

Elna June, a stunning debut. Your recap was wonderful and terrific fun.

Along with what others have already noted, "Shirlylocks", "Danica Patrick hair shake-out" and "Bickersons" were great. My favorite was Beto's "comment, grunt and guffaw".

I appreciated your painstaking details which were vivid and poignant.

Güera and Jeff, I loved your takes on whether Ximena would help or accelerate Arnie's OCD. Excellent!

Carlos, I agree - I envision Xime and Arnie as great friends. Her true love and likely destiny, for better or worse, is Rolu.

Sylvia, "Nancy Drewish". Very clever.

I'm with Judy in wanting Nieves and Cesar together. Cesar brings out her softer side and feel he would be a warmer, kinder stepfather for our beloved Beto.

So happy Alicia continues her endless chatter to Hissy. Perhpas it will drive Hissy over the edge. One can only hope.

Diana
 

Yes yes yes, Shirleylock and Watson ran into Salvador! Hooray, will he be saved or will they run screaming into the night believing he's a ghost? And where in the devil is La Loca?
 

Hmmm... Methinks that Friend Elna June has been recapping for some time, perhaps in a Parallel Universe that is closed to we mortals!

Actually, that is meant to be a compliment.

Excellent, EJ, thanks so much for doing a great job of covering it all and doing it beautifully!
 

Argh, I should have said "to US mortals."

Thinking about Julia's boss's memo on using commas reminded of a similar memo many years ago to "please stop utilizing 'utilize' and utilize 'use'."
 

EJ, Slam dunk, girl! Way to go! I echo what everybody else said so much better than I can.

Keep talking, Aliblahblah, it's working... Get a haircut, Danic- er, Mauricio. (Sorry, all that military stuff :) Don Cesar is the one for Nieves. I think she knows it but is basking in the adoration of two men. Ximena appears to be too much for Arnie. He's a cute little puppy but Ximena needs a man, not a puppy. Just sayin'
 

O what a warm reception. (The novice blushes). Thank you—Cap'n, JudyB, Diana, Mike, Emilia—for your good thoughts before and after my first recap.

Emilia & Carlos I agree with you about Arnie and Xime. Great friends, but Xime needs a man, not a project. Wait, now that I think about it, Rolu is a project as well. Oh well, at least they would have PASSION.

Thanks for the catch on Salvador, all. I truly didn't see that. Please add or correct anything else you see,of course. Jeff already reminded me that the first time Arnie stopped the car was because bugs were bugging him as he drove.

Judy:

The pay is the fellowship of this fine crew and increasing my capacity in the Spanish language and the benefits; well I can easily imagine some of us Gancholandians sitting around in a pub someday in the future, laughing at our selves silly at one of Mike's jokes or Carlos' dry humor, when a stranger says to us, "You guys sure do have a good time together! Tell me, how do you know one another"? Much hilarity ensues...
 

Yes, "how do we know one another"...when I mention my blog friends and the fun of our discussions, peoples' eyes glaze over. They just don't get it. But we do!
 

EJ, the shot of Sal was momentary, obscured and in the advances for tomorrow.
 

Mike, perhaps you meant 'us wee mortals'. :)

Perhaps Xime needs someone like Arnie. Take care of him and help him become.. more human. :)

Judy.. You should get a good one today with Sal appearing to Xime and Arnie. Definitely will be seen as a ghost by Xime.
 

Elna June,

I had to rewind twice to verify that was Sal and even so it was difficult to tell for sure. I never was quite sure what distracted Arnie.

Jeff,

I'm not so sure that Ximena would do well taking care of Arnie. Remember, she and Jero took in a stray dog, put it in the utility room, and forgot about it. We wouldn't want a similar fate for Arnie.

Mike,

Are those your daffodils?

Carlos
 

Elna June, are you sure this was your debut?! You recap like a seasoned (yet still fresh) pro.

Rolu is going to be mighty unhappy when he finds out what happened to his car, don't you think? That anger should keep Xime passionate for quite some time.

Oh, I hope they manage to rescue poor Sal. He's suffered enough.
 

Carlos, yep, they're in the corner of the back yard. Looked out the kitchen window Sunday morning, saw 'em, and went out and took the photo.

We're still liable (statistically) for a night or two of freezing temps, but I do believe the crummy winter is all but over!
 

Elna June that was an excellent first recap. I will echo what everybody is saying and tell you that it feels like you have been doing this forever.

I laughed at your Sherleylock and Dr. Watson. Poor Dr. Watson will need a sterilized room after all the adventure.

I have now the image of Mau in one of those stripped shirts. I donElna June that was an excellent first recap. I will echo what everybody is saying and tell you that it feels like you have been doing this forever.

I laughed at your Sherleylock and Dr. Watson. Poor Dr. Watson will need a sterilized room after all the adventure.

I knew the guy moving the trajinera was Mau because of his height and siluete but you got me wishing someone would dress him in those funny stripped shirts from the movies toppled with a funny moustach. Mau is the character that needs a comedy scene the most.

Jarocha
 

Elna June, what a fantastic recap! I was on a mini vacation, and only saw the first half of the show (no sound, captions only was all I could persuade my relatives to allow). But you filled in everything, and with such a flair! I loved the Sweet-o-Meter and all your other clever touches. Thank you!
 

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