Caray, Caray!

 Next week I will be out of town and not able to recap, can anyone fill in or post a header for me?


Kristel walks Ilitia to the airport gate. I never noticed before but she’s kind of pigeon-toed.

I think Tia Carlota plans to go back to Spain and she has invited Netty to stay for dinner because “she’s a great lady just like her sister Eva”. Is Marianela going to Spain with her? It kind of sounds like it. Fedra snarls and Axel sits next to her looking blissed out. He doesn’t understand Fedra and Netty’s insults and Netty explains they like to talk in irony. Emiliano convinces Netty to stay of course, and Delicious announces that dinner is served.

Eman corners Mari and tells her they have to talk about the kiss whether she likes it or not. He says it was his fault and he won’t repeat it. They both keep saying they will never let it happen again as they move in for another kiss. Fedra catches them and he pretends to remove something from Mari’s eye. Fedra scowls.

Brandon is at the airport reading a magazine article about guess who? He recalls the night he kissed her. (Brandon, you need to take kissing lessons from Emiliano!) Ilitia walks in, sits down behind him, and spies him reading about her. “Excuse me” she says sweetly, obviously not recognizing him, “may I look at your magazine?” “TU?!??! AQUI?!?!?” they shout in unison.

As Ilitia and Brandon bicker they discover they are on the same flight to L.A. What a surprise!

Nereida brings Spiderus/Bernardo his dinner and sexily accuses him of trying to kill the fatty. (I can’t believe I just wrote that.) He tells her to butt out for her own sake and she thought bubbles “I know it was you. The one with the knowledge is the one with the power and this is just what I was looking for.”

Brandon phones Gretel and calls her his little pickled/salty/sweet fruit candy (caramelita de chamoy) . He’s dying to see his little spicy cherry (ceresita enchilada). This makes her smile. She’s worried for him but he tells her he’s a warrier. She knows where to find him and he’ll be waiting for her call.

Axel visits Gretel in her room and they share a warm and happy hug.

Muñeca thanks Fidel and Flora for hiding the pirated films. They think Lowrenzo should go to the police. He enters and hisses to Fidel he’d better not tell anyone or he’ll kill him. Muneca sez “everyday I know you less and less”. She tells him living with him is a nightmare. She’s just figuring this out?

Gretel is flummoxed when Axel tells her how great his mama is treating him. She wonders to herself, has he forgotten everything their mother has done to them?

Oh God help us, it’s another meal at the toxic table. I hope Fedra didn’t cook dinner. They comment that Kristel has been gone all day. They blather a bit about that Fonseca (Orangey) and Kristel. Tia changes the subject to say how awesome Netty is and she has Tia’s permission to visit Mari any time. She’s a part of the family. Emiliano smiles and Fedra says no way will Netty set a foot in her house.
OK, it definitely sounds like Mari is going to Spain with her.

The Mafiosi show up at the puerta de Porta Lopez to threaten Muñeca, Flora and Fidel. They want their merchandise. Muñeca tells them Lowrenzo is not at home.

Emiliano and Fedra argue about Netty. Fedra’s a total bitch but Axel sticks up for her and tells daddy not to yell at mommy. May I have permission to skip this scene? They are all too mean. Oh wait, Carlota tells Fedra she’s acting like white trash (well, “without class” is what she said). I liked that part.

Fedra accuses Emil of defending his lover. Gretel jumps up and Emil sees the bruise on her face. Gretel says ask your wife who did this to me. Tia and Emil walk Fedra out of the room but Fedra tells them Gretel is lying. She says yesterday Gretel was having a crazy fit and she assaulted Fedra boo hoo. Tia says her niece’s suffering is all her fault. (Why?)

Everyone has left the table except Mari, Netty and Gretel. Gretel tells them that Fedra is a monster and worse than either of them knows. Come one, enough with the veiled references. Spill your guts why dontcha? Gretel gets up as if in a trance and repeats "she's worse" to herself as she leaves the table. Netty begs Mari to leave with her, these nuts are going to kill her. Mari refuses so Netty gives her a bottle of pepper spray, demonstrating how to use it with gusto. She says spray all over, tch tch tch tch tch and then scream like crazy.

Lowrenzo shouts at the Mafiosi for threatening his family so the one guy knees him in the nuts. Can’t say I’m sorry. The other guy says their merchandise had better be in the warehouse or else because The Boss doesn’t like to play games.

Emiliano insists on driving Netty home. He can’t run out of there fast enough. Fedra slithers up behind Mari and grabs her. Mari shakes her off and tells Fedra to bugger off, she doesn’t deserve the love of her kids much less her uncle Emil. Fedra starts insulting Mari and gets a huge stomp on the foot for her troubles. Ouch! She looks shocked and starts strangling Mari and is rewarded with another big stomp on her other foot. This is cool! She starts yowling, hopping around on one foot and holding her other. (Very limber, I’m impressed.) Eman enters and Mari tells him his mother tried to strangle her.

Well well, looks like Gretel has rendezvoused with Oliver. He slaps himself on the face, he can’t believe his little luck. She calls him her love and says she only wants to be with him. “I love you and I’m lost in your love” he coos, kissing her tenderly. Wow, these two are hot tonight.

Fedra’s sitting on the stairs kissing her toes (see, didn’t I say she was limber?) while Eman consoles Mari. (NOT his mother, hah!) He demands to know why Fedra strangled Mari. Fedra denies it but Eman doesn’t believe her. Mari starts to faint and Eman tries to support her, buckling under her weight, but it’s kind of cute.

Kristel runs into the house and almost runs into Nereida who teases her about being pregnant. Something tells me Nereida may not last long with all her insinuations and blackmail. Nereida leaves and Orangey sneaks up behind Kristel and grabs her. Drat!

Oh thank you telenovela gods. Gretel and Oliver are happily making out and telling each other ‘I love you’. The romantic music plays and he removes his shirt. Are they? Will they? Oh my…

Eman wants to make Mari feel better by making her a double hamburger. She tells him her head hurts. They stare at each other and Eman apologizes for…sorry the background music was too loud…and he moves in for a long kiss AND we go to commercial.

Yikes! No romance now, Agent Orange has turned into a violent jack-o-lantern, devilish grimace and all. He throws Kristel down and yells at her for leaving him alone at the clinic. What an ass. He tells her she’d better figure out a way to get rid of the little package and pronto. She gets all pathetic, grabs his waist and begs him not to abandon her.

Eman and Mari finish their kiss, look content, and then look shocked. He stammers, she stutters, he doesn’t know what he feels for her, they are cousins, they are…it’s a mistake she says. More stammering, more staring, wow he is truly smitten. He tells her he doesn’t care, he wants to kiss her and boy howdy he does.

Emil drops Netty off at the house. Will we get yet another kiss? He approaches her, he embraces her, she resists in the wimpiest manner possible, but then she pushes him out the door. Shoot! He shouts that he’s leaving, but he’ll be back.

Back to our inconstant kissin’ cousins and they have torn themselves from each other again. Mari reminds Eman that he’s engaged, he has to go from her room or she’ll leave the house forever. He looks slightly indignant.

We return to our real lovers, Oliver and Gretel, and they couldn’t be sweeter. She never thought she could be this happy. He tells her he’ll never leave her, they kiss and the romantic music reaches a climax…ahem.

Netty frets to Gladiola about her problematic relationship with Emiliano. Gladi says it’s not Netty’s fault, there is an air of frivolity in the house. Netty says she feels it and the two giggle. It’s in the house all right, in Oliver’s room to be exact.

Crazy Fedra Music interrupts our joy and the witch limps (heh heh) in anger as she curses Netty for stealing her husband. Said husband comes home and wonders why she’s limping in her 9-inch heels. Emil is another one who doesn’t believe that Mari stomped on Fedra. Fedra insults Netty and Emil grabs her and tells her Netty is an exceptional woman and he never wants to hear her refer to Netty in that manner again! She gets weepy but he doesn’t fall for it. He stalks off to bed, telling her he’s tired of listening to her stupidities.

It’s the next morning and Mari wakes to the memory of the passionate kiss with her cousin. She tells herself it can never happen again. She looks next to her and notices that Gretel isn’t there. (I guess they are sharing the room.)

Delicia knocks at the door. Mari plumps up the pillows to make it look like Gretel’s in bed and then gazes longingly at the breakfast tacos before asking herself where could Gretel be?

She could be under the loving gaze of her amante, illuminated by the morning’s first light. Oliver still can’t believe it and he asks “Are we novios?” Gretel tells him “Of course we’re novios you boob, do you think I do this with the whole world?” Then she becomes frantic, her mother will kill her. Oliver calms her with a kiss and assures her that if Fedra lays a finger on her he’ll take her away from that house forever.

Los Angeles – Ilitia signs for her room service as we hear a familiar naco voice creating a scene in the hallway OF THE SAME HOTEL. Hey they only have one hotel in L.A., just like in the DF. Her plate spills all over her expensive frock. He grabs a napkin and tries to wipe her off. And she lets him.

Back at the Porto Lopez abode Flora is untying Muñeca. They hope nothing bad happened at the warehouse. Hopefully Lowrenzo is dead or at least severely beaten and Fidel is just fine.

Fedra is enjoying the ubiquitous glass of OJ found in all telenovelas and cursing Emil for sleeping with his back to her thanks to Netty. Spidery twists the knife by pointing out that Netty is pretty…and young. Fedra pounds the table. Eman joins them. He kicks Spidery out and pointedly asks Fedra if Chema and José Manuel Sevilla are the same person.

Tomorrow: Spidery injects something nasty into a chocolate. Maximo tells Eman that he’s not a Ruiz y Teresa.

Labels: llena