Caray, Caray!

Let’s get married right now, says Max. He has just given María what looks like a boxed bovine nose ring. Fabián and Nathy will be their witnesses. But María Desamparada says no:
No me voy a casar a escondidas como si estuviera haciendo algo malo. No así.(I’m not getting married secretly as if I were doing something wrong – not like that.)

The air in the Sandoval house reeks of Padilla. Padre Padilla smirks that since Victoria herself is of humble beginnings, she won’t object to Scuzz Boy for her daughter. She corrects him. She wants the best for her daughter and it’s obvious Scuzz Boy can’t provide that.

At the Casa de Modas, María is reflecting on Max’s proposal when Toni approaches her:
Tan joven, tan bonita, y tan preocupada por una tontería.(So young, so beautiful and so worried about something so foolish.)

María is surprised that Toni would consider love a tontería. It’s not that, says Toni. It’s just that Victoria has one set of plans for her and another for Max. Besides, María should put her career first. Once she’s established, then she can think about love. It’s too bad more girls don’t understand that they can’t depend on men – there would be fewer tears and fewer abandoned children.

You mean like me? asks María. Toni backpedals a bit – your mother must have been deceived by a man. That’s no excuse for abandoning a child, says María:
Si yo me quedara sola con un hijo, lucharía por él.(If I found myself alone with a child, I would struggle on his behalf.)

Back at the Sandoval house, the Padillas are settling in like fleas on a hounddog.

In the office, having done her best to talk sense into “Juliet”, Toni tackles “Romeo”. She tells Max:
…mereces un buen jalón de orejas y un par de nalgadas.(...you need someone to pull your ears back and give you a spanking)
[Hey! Down in front! They’re not looking for volunteers!]
He has no business courting María, she tells him, when he knows perfectly well that Victoria will never accept her as his wife. No good can come of it:
¡Conste que yo te lo advertí!(Remember, I warned you!/Let the record show, I warned you.)

Osvaldo ignores a call that comes in on his cell while he’s in a meeting with his boss, Pedro. Pedro notices that the call seems to bother Os. He startles Os by asking him: Do you have a lover?

Linda – the unanswered caller – throws the phone across the room just as Nathy enters the apartment. She is furious that Os won’t take her call. Nathy tells her to resign herself to the truth: Os isn’t for her. Besides, she has JuanJo. Linda agrees that JuanJo wouldn’t be a bad option – he is very brave, he risks his life to save others:
-- pero tiene un gran defecto – es pobre!(-- but he has one big flaw – he’s poor!)

Are Linda’s ears burning? Because in a neighboring apartment, her name comes up. Millie and the boys are talking about love. Millie wants to be sure that JuanJo has found his soulmate, someone beautiful inside and out. Is Linda that person? JuanJo is sure she is. And she accepted his proposal. Well why not, says Millie, you’re quite a catch. Napo and Cruz look uncomfortable.

Pedro is telling Osvaldo how important it is to manage his private life discreetly. He is interrupted by a messenger who hands him an envelope. It’s the report they’ve been waiting for: the investigation of the shooting on the set shows it was accidental. Os knew it. No one would want to kill him.

Victoria prays for a way to save her daughter from Scuzz Boy. As she heads back downstairs, she is horrified to hear what Padilla senior is saying to Fer: Victoria reminds him of a beautiful girl who used to work in a clothing factory. She had a daughter…

Then it wasn’t my mother, pipes up Fer brightly. I’m her only daughter.

Nathy and María are discussing how MD turned down Max’s proposal. Nathy understands why she did it, but still, after they had been together… Linda enters in time to hear this choice piece of gossip: So María and Max did it! She smiles knowingly.

Fabián, meanwhile, is telling his friend Max that he never thought he’d see a woman turn him down. Max is kind of glad though: it shows that María Desamparada loves him for who he is and not for what he has. And what about Ximena? asks Fabián.

Indeed. What about Ximena. The ‘illicit sex’ theme plays as a backdrop to Ximena and Guillermo’s mutual pawing. Really? Xi and Gui? For an unattractive guy, he certainly gets a lot of action. Didja miss me? she asks.

Max tells Fabián that when Ximena cheated on him, she killed whatever love he felt for her. Fabián remarks:
Siempre has hablado de este engaño pero nunca pudiste probarlo en realidad.(You’ve always talked about her cheating, but you could never really prove it.)

Maybe not. But the Xi and Gui show is heating up.

At the Casa Sandoval, Padilla Senior threatens to expose Victoria’s past if she won’t accept his son for Fer.

Scuzz Boy’s eyes are popping out of his head as he looks at photos of yachts and helicopters and Fer tells him the family owns a house in Miami and an apartment in New York.

At last the visit is over. Padilla senior scurries out like a cockroach. Victoria looks at his empty whisky glass and then hurls it across the room. It shatters.

The roomies are still comparing life philosophies. LindaHo contends that only a moron (tarada) would refuse to marry Max Sandoval:
Dejaste ir la oportunidad de tu vida.(You let slip the opportunity of a lifetime.)
María is adamant. Max loves her and they’ll marry at the right moment. But Linda insists that the moment has come and gone. He’ll never ask again.

Xi and Gui are at the Sex and Food stage. Then… saved by the doorbell. It’s probably Ofelia, thinks Guillermo.

Life Lesson According to LindaHo:
Todos los hombres están hechos de la misma madera.(All men are made of the same wood)
[I guess she would know.]
Max is never coming back, she predicts.

The doorbell rings: Max is back! Yay! Smooch smooch.

Gui guessed wrong about his visitor. It’s Osvaldo and he is steamed! As soon as Gui opens the door, Os punches him (even though the wound in his side is still healing and the effort causes him pain). Where does Guillermo get off telling people that Osvaldo has a lover??? Guillermo retorts that he knows about Linda and he has proof… Os cuts him short:
Ten mucho cuidado Guillermo porque no voy a permitir que nadie destruya a mi familia.(Be very careful Guillermo because I’m not going to let anyone destroy my family.)

Once Scuzz Boy and Pa have gone, Fer starts in on Victoria. Wasn’t she ever young? Wasn’t she ever in love? Yes, answers Vic, although my youth was very different from yours. When you’re young you can make mistakes that scar you for life. Fer looks up: Did that happen to you? Yes, says Victoria, and you don’t know how much I’ve suffered because of it.

Nathy tries to get LindaHo out of the livingroom so Max and María can have some privacy. She’s not budging. Max then graciously invites all the girls to his home for dinner. When he says he’ll just call home to let his parents know, Linda asks if he’s calling his mother or Osvaldo. How do you know my father? asks Max.

Osvaldo is still arguing with Guillermo while Ximena hides in the bedroom. He says:
Voy a defender mi relación con Victoria a costa de lo que sea – advertido quedas!(I’ll defend my relationship with Victoria at any cost – you’ve been warned!)
He leaves and Guillermo slams the door after him. Then Ximena emerges from the bedroom wrapped in the regulation Telenovela postcoital sheet. So Osvaldo has a lover, she says. Interesting.

Back home, Fer asks Victoria to tell her what happened in the past. Some day I’ll explain it, says her mother. I don’t want you to suffer like I did. And I’m ready to defend you tooth and nail (con uñas y dientes, literally with nails and teeth). I’d die of pain if I lost you, says Victoria.

Xi tells Gui she only came by to say goodbye. Hah, says Gui, You need me. Xi curses the day she met him, but for someone saying goodbye she isn’t in a big hurry to leave.

Back at María’s apartment, LindaHo tells Max that everyone knows Osvaldo Sandoval – he’s a famous actor! And also he came to see her in the hospital when Victoria’s chauffeur ran her over…

Whoa, says Max. And he turns to María: Why didn’t you tell me any of this, mi cielo?

Victoria unburdens herself to Toni – Padilla is threatening to expose her past unless she lets his pestilent offspring marry Fer. Well maybe the moment of truth has come. And Victoria says:
Con tal de salvar a mi hija, estoy dispuesta a revelar mi secreto a Osvaldo.(To save my daughter, I’m prepared to reveal my secret to Osvaldo.)

And at that moment Osvaldo enters and asks:
¿De qué secreto hablas, Victoria?(What secret are you talking about, Victoria?)

In María’s apartment, there’s an awkward silence. Then LindaHo says: It’s a long story but … I asked María not to say anything. Bottom line: now I’m working at la Casa de Modas too! Good for you, says Max innocently. Nathy suggests they do dinner another day. Max and MD smooch smooch goodnight.

When Max is gone, Linda declares once more that she is gunning for Osvaldo. She knows that sooner or later (tarde o temprano, literally late or early) he’ll get tired of his wife and marry her.

Osvaldo and Victoria are alone now and he wants to know what she is hiding. She says:
Tengo deshecho el corazón. Es indispensable que haga a un lado todas las mentiras, todos los engaños.(My heart is broken. It’s essential to set aside all the lies, the deceptions...)
Os is puzzled. What lies? What deceptions?
Victoria continues: The moment of truth has come.

Not to Xi and Gui though. They continue their unsavory … what? banter? No, that’s too light. Verbal foreplay, maybe.

Victoria says: El engaño es como una traición. (Deception is like a betrayal). And Osvaldo gets all paranoid: You mean what they’re saying about me? he asks. Now it’s Victoria’s turn to be puzzled. Before either can clarify, Fer bursts in saying she’s going to a club with Scuzzy Boy. No you’re not, says Victoria. Go to your room!

Xi and Gui are at it again when the doorbell rings. This time it is Ofelia. She walks right in asking why it took him so long to get to the door. Then she sees Ximena.

Fer’s inopportune entrance has distracted Os and Vic. They stray into the old Fer fight, the “You always…” “You never…” that we’ve heard before. Victoria adds an extra twist of the knife when she says: You worry so much about your precious career, but your last film played to an empty house.

You might think Ximena and Ofelia would exchange air kisses and feign pleasure at seeing one another again. But no. These are both tough galletas. Each knows why the other is here, although Ofelia is mildly surprised. She knew Ximena was fooling around, but not that her lover was Gui. If Ximena tells Ofelia’s husband Pedro, then Ofelia will tell Max. And everyone will pay. The insufferable (and apparently irresistible) Guillermo can only shrug: I’m not a one-woman man.

Back to Osvaldo and Victoria: He doesn’t get angry at Victoria’s rather nasty attack. Rather, he seems to crumple. He tells her he not only failed as a film actor but now he has lost the lead in an upcoming novela. His public has gotten tired of him. An actor’s life is very short, he says. I don’t expect you to understand: you’ve always been successful and you’ve never lost anything…

Victoria interrupts him. You’re wrong, she says. I lost the most important thing in my life. That’s why I’m so opposed to Fer’s relationship with that boy. Then tell me about it, pleads Osvaldo.

Fer calls her friend Gaby to tell her she’s going out with Scuzz Boy even though her mother told her not to.

At the Padilla rathole, the elder Scuzz tells his son he has an ace up his sleeve: he knows Victoria’s Secret and he’s going to use it to control her.

At the dinner table, Victoria says she’ll do anything to keep the Padillas away from Fer.

Con razón. At that moment, Padilla Senior is mixing a potion for Scuzzy boy to put in Fer’s drink:
…para que se ponga flojita y se olvide de protegerse(so she’ll loosen up and forget to protect herself.)
[The stuff is pinkish in color. Maybe that will save Fer.]

Finally, we drop in on St Bernarda. She is deep in prayer: May Juan Pablo never ever ever ever find that child of sin.

We see Fausto Candela creeping around the balcony and then heading down to Bernarda’s prayerfest. She’s startled. She didn’t even hear him approach.

It took him a long time because he had to pick up Eva and there was a back-up of traffic crossing the Styx. (Or so they say. But I think they stopped to hoist a few in honor of the Packers victory.) But finally – ta da!
Acércate Eva! (Come here, Eva).

Then the two wicked-looking old women lock eyes as they take each other’s measure. Bernarda executes a perfect eyebrow sweep.

So now there are three weirdos in the house. One more and they’ll have enough for a regular mahjong game.

María lies in bed and remembers the rooftop idyll with Max.
Max lies in bed and remembers the morning after the night before.
María looks at the silly photos she and Max took together.
Both sigh: Mi amor…te amo.
At the club, Fer goes off to find Gaby while Scuzzy Boy orders drinks. Then he pulls out the potion his father prepared and adds several drops to one of the glasses. The clear liquid turns pink.

And at last, we are back to Victoria’s Secret. She begins:
Hace muchos años me enamoré de un hombre, un hombre en el que nunca debí poner mis ojos...(Many years ago I fell in love with a man, a man I should never have set my heart on…)

And while we wait until tomorrow to hear the rest of the conversation:

Sweet William in a kayak.

Labels: triunfo