Caray, Caray!

The short version: Nothing happens.

The long version:

Skipping the repeats, we’re in the conference room at the agency, where Victoria has just informed the shareholders that Lorenzo has embezzled a considerable sum over the years. Low is offended at the accusation. Of course no one buys his feeble defense. Emiliano is furious and yelly. Muñeca is more calmly irate. “First you sell my shares out from under me, and then it turns out you’re stealing from everyone?” she says, not exactly asking. “I am an honorable man and you know it!” Lowrenzo actually dares to say to the wife he’s cheated on and stolen from throughout their entire relationship. He tells everyone he’s never stolen a centavo in his entire life. Fedra, never one to consider evidence when indignant yelling is an option, shrieks that Vicky is just out to get them all as Marianela’s puppet. Mauricio says he’s not at all surprised that Low’s stealing… he’s always been a tranza (crooked scammer), and everyone knows it. “Shut your mouth; you’re no pink rose either,” Low retorts. Vicky tells Low to return all the money immediately, or she’ll report him to the police.

Netty asks San Antonio to help Eugenio with proving Fedra falsified Eva’s signature on the documents. Lest she seem avaricious, she’s careful to clarify to Tony that this is important not primarily to get the house and money for Mari, but to restore Eva’s reputation.

New character? Otto Sirgo with a mustache is in a wood-paneled office and a curly-haired woman who, according to the captions, is calling him “mi lick” (I’ll have to figure that out later) has brought him some papers which took forever to get from the property registry. He graduated from the same speed-reading business course Vicky took. After barely glancing at them he says Fedra Curiel is even lower than he thought! She’s investing her dirty money in a resort. “What are you going to do?” asks the woman. “Time to pay a visit to my dear friend La Reina.”

Back in the conference room, everyone’s reading the papers and agreeing that Lowrenzo did, in fact, steal the money. Low insists he spent it on equipment and stuff for the agency. Emanuel asks for the receipts, then. Agent Orange, glowing a particularly radiant shade of tangerine today, is disgusted at Low’s good-for-nothingness and snits out. Fedra rants in her usual manner, saying nothing of note. Whatevs, says Vicky. 72 hours, money back or Low’s charged with fraud.

Jorge watches the video in his office and pauses where MV and Emanuel start to kiss. He creepily marvels at their genuine love and passion and nutters that even so, whatever he has to do and whatever lines he has to cross, “I’ll get you, my pretty.” Malicio comes in and tells him to keep his paws off Victoria. They have a staring contest.

In Low’s office, Muñeca finally loses her cool. She can’t believe this! Except for how she can, because he’s been deceiving her for years. Lowrenzo tries to sweet-talk her, reminding her that he gave all the money he got from selling her shares to her hospital benefit. She’s not falling for that and knows he’s been hunting high and low to steal the money back. So what’s he been doing with all this cash, she asks. She instantly realizes that’s a stupid question and answers it herself: maintaining an amante. Muñeca offers a deal, as Fedra slinks up to the door and overhears: she’ll give back the stolen money AND keep him out of jail, if he’ll just tell her who “La Reina” is. “It’s Fedra, right?” she asks. Low and Fedra both look stricken.

“You have no idea who I am and what I’m capable of,” Agent O tells Jorge. Jorge, being a wise and perceptive judge of character, can instantly see that Mau is a giant traffic cone, capable of marking giant construction zones. Also, he knows very well that Mauron is a vile jerk who played mean jokes on Marianela and tried to have his way with her. “Sure, I wanted a bite of that tasty blubber,” chuckles Mau. Jorge grabs him and tells him not to disrespect Marianela. “Maybe YOU shouldn’t disrespect your wife! You married that whale, but now you’re smooching on her friend?” “Stay out of my life,” Jorge says, calm and cool and, if I may say so, looking MIGHTY fine even though there’s apparently only one razor in Mexico City and it isn’t his week to use it. Malicio warns him that he’ll get rid of anything in his way. “Me, too,” Jorge replies, slapping Mau’s face in a way that surely should have required white gloves. Mau slugs him in the back as he walks past. Then Mau is left alone for some personal time with the video.

Low denies ever having had any relationship with Fedra, as Fedra nods approvingly behind Muñeca’s back. Fedra comes in and says of course it’s a ridiculous accusation, but then, Muñeca is ridiculous! She’s been going to a witch and having her cards read! Who knows what insane ideas she’ll get! Low laughs at that. Muñeca chuckles along and tells Fedra she’s so glad her fears are unfounded, because she’d hate to have to have a discussion with Emiliano about Fedra and Low being amantes. “Don’t threaten me. I forbid you to bother him with your suposiciones (she struggles over that big word).” “YOU forbid ME? Ha. I’m wondering, why were you the only one to defend Lorenzo? He’s been stealing from you, too. The papers were very clear!” Fedra says obviously the gachupina is just making stuff up, and they should be loyal to Lowrenzo. No way, says Muñeca. If Low doesn’t return the money, she’ll go to the police herself.

Emiliano and Emanuel confab privately. Emiliano wants to find out the exact status of the agency’s finances. Eman says his flaquita’s report was pretty contundente (straightforward). “Your flaquita?” Emil asks. Eman mumbles that he meant, er, Vicky. Anyway, if Emil doesn’t trust Lowrenzo, he should talk to him directly. Emiliano says he’s never trusted Low, and he can rot in jail. Ilitia swoops in with Manzanita to invite Emanuel to lunch.

“How dare you steal money?!” Fedra asks Low once they’re alone. “Oh, you’re one to talk. I know very well you stole Marianela’s entire inheritance,” Low retorts. “Besides, I spent all the money I stole from the business on you.” “So you’re blaming me for your sticky fingers?!” “I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying… Anyway, I was going to give the money back, but El Lirio de Plata stole it. And everything I had left, I invested in your vacation complex,” he snivels. “I do not have a complex!” “In your HOTEL!” Oh. Anyway, Fedra isn’t mad that he stole the money, she’s mad that he got caught. If he was going to embezzle (desfalcar), why wasn’t he smarter about it? Low is breathing hard and looking very hot around the collar all through the scene. I think he might be on the verge of an aneurism or something. Paging Dr. Carlos…not to save him, just for a diagnosis. An explanation as we watch him drop dead would be educational. But Low’s still got his wits about him enough to grasp at a lifesaver. He slimes all over Fedra and swoons over her womanly charms and tells her she’s just what a guy needs. She agrees and breathily assures him she’ll fix this. He is not going down. Not in the legal system, anyway. She starts administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for his breathing troubles, but they manage to jump apart before Carmen opens the door, because she actually knocks first. Carmen says Señor Pantoja is here to see Fedra. Carmen goes off to escort him to the conference room and Fedra sweats to Low that Pantoja is the judge she bought off to secure Mari’s inheritance. What’s he doing here?!

Oliver and GretelMan are on their spy mission. Oliver’s freaking out about the danger. He begs Gretel to sound the alarm at the slightest sense of danger, just come back safe and sound. GretelMan, whose danger nerves were fried years ago, tells him everything will be fine and heads off with the camera.

Emanuel tries to finish his work while Ilitia and Manzanita sit in his office. Ilitia tries to get his attention…Manzanita was begging to come see him! Can’t he spend some time with her? “Not true, YOU were the one who...” “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ilitia cuts her off. She pouts to Emanuel that Manzanita will be so sad if they don’t take her for ice cream, and after all the poor little girl has suffered, shouldn’t they spoil her a little? Emanuel says he’s got to meet with Jorge in the editing room, but Manzanita should go for ice cream with Ilitia, then he’ll take her to a movie when he’s done working. Ice cream AND a movie! Win! “No! Yo con la sangre de chinche? No,” Manzanita begs. “Fine, let’s take la sangre de chinche for ice cream,” Eman gives in.

Aha. Otto-Sirgo-with-a-mustache, the guy looking into Fedra’s properties, is the crooked judge Pantoja she bought off long ago. He gets to the point: he’s heard Fedra is building a super-luxury resort in Cancún, and he wants a piece of the action. As if, she says. He reminds her that he knows where her money comes from, and its state of sanitation, ahem. She’s getting annoyed that all la escoria (the slagheap) wants to be her partner. No way.

Oliver has his binoculars glued to his face and a microphone clenched in his hand, rambling frantically to GretelMan. He eventually realizes this is probably not helping, so he starts chattering at himself to calm down, still into the microphone. Brandon gets in the car, a bit calmer and bearing drinks. Fortunately Oliver’s has a lid and a straw.

Manolo is in Mau’s house, trying to convince Dandy to get him an interview with up-and-coming fine businessman Mauricio Fonseca. Dandy doesn’t like this idea. He thinks Manolo’s in cahoots with the police, particularly since he saw him with the police in the bodega when it was raided. Manolo says he was just covering the story. He’s just a reporter, no alliances. Dandy says Mauricio isn’t here now, but he’ll check with him and let Manolo know. Manolo flatters Dandy into agreeing to give an interview himself. He invites Dandy to have coffee. When Dandy goes to powder his nose, Manolo plants a bug in the phone.

Malicio jealously watches the healthy living video. {If you do it right, jogging five meters can get a LOT of heart rates up!} MV comes in and asks what he thinks of it. He says it’s great. She says it was a huge sacrifice. Our least favorite Oompa Loompa grabs her and says he’s got to have her. She reminds him that their deal was only for after he ditches Kristel in the church. He gets sweatier and growls about pasión ew ugh gross.

Fedra asks Pantoja what sum of dinerito he’s thinking of investing in her business. Ha ha, very funny, he says. She gets the drift. How much does he seem to think she’s going to give him? All her shares, he says. If she doesn’t, a tribunal will reopen Eva’s estate case, and the papers he saved will be Fedra’s undoing. He gives her a copy to keep, in a red folder, warning her that the originals are nice and safe. Fedra’s got one more ace up her…sleeve. She crawls catlike across the conference table, saying she likes a bold man, maybe they could reignite their little adventure from before. Pantoja dismissively says her cuerpecito won’t suffice for payment this time. She has a little tantrum and reminds him that if he accuses her, he’ll implicate himself, too. Not at all, he says. He’s a respectable judge, totally on the up-and-up, everyone will trust his word. Whereas Fedra…well, there’s been a lot of talk. Shady talk. She reluctantly agrees she’d LOVE to have such a capable partner. She’ll call him when the paperwork is ready, and once it’s signed, she wants all the incriminating evidence destroyed, understand? Pantoja smirks. Sure, sure, and it’s a pleasure doing business with you.

MariVicky shoves Mauron off and yells at him. He calls her a tramp, sleeping with her best friend’s husband, kissing Emanuel. He points to the continuing video footage, wherein things go horizontal while Jorge repeatedly hollers “¡Corte!” from offscreen. MV says that was just acting. “After he kept yelling ‘Cut!’? And you kissed him again in the office, with no cameras rolling. You are IN LOVE with Emanuel, verdad?”

Lowrenzo praises Kristel’s clever handling of her mother. Kristel says everything’s all calm and settled, then, and Low and Fedra can go back to…whatever. “What about you? Can you just happily marry Mauricio now?” Kristel confesses that she’s now a little curious as to Low’s benefits. There’s got to be something compelling about him if her mom has been seeing him for so long, risking so much. What’s he got? Low growls that he can’t tell her in words, he’d have to let her know in a more tactile way. He strokes her arm with his cane (sexy!). She is not too sure about this. “Just give me one full night, and you can discover for yourself.” “Ew! What part of nunca en la vida didn’t you understand, what part of never ever, I’m not going to, y punto, sí, no, bye!” Is she really that dedicated to Mauricio?, he asks. Kristel admits that really she’s just afraid she’d like it too much, and she’d want to repeat that one night “over, and over, and over” (she says in English). Low grins. “I promise if I give you just one more kiss, you’ll be an addict!” Kristel, flushed and breathing hard, says they’d better leave things as they are right now then, okay? She leaves and Lowrenzo pants that he’s got to get her out of his head.

MariVicky indignantly tells Agent O she’d never get involved with a married man. He refutes: A., Emanuel. B., Jorge. Both married. And C., she won’t have anything to do with him until after his wedding. Maybe he’ll have to actually marry Kristel to get any action with Vicky, huh? MV denies, denies, denies. She doesn’t like claimed men. She only likes men who will do extraordinary things for her. Like humiliate Kristel in front of a crowd. Mau swears he’ll be the man of her dreams. He leaves and she wipes off the cooties.

MV sits down again at the eternal footage of groping lipsmackery in the grass, and Jorge comes in and offers to defend her from Mau. No need, she says. She wants to finish the editing, but Jorge talks her into going out for ice cream and then to visit Netty.

Dandy is giving Manolo an interview in which he claims they were all jailed unjustly (and he wants that in the article in all caps). Garduño walks in and has a fit when he sees what’s going on. Manolo tells him he’s just here because there have been so many stories about Fonseca, and he wants to air Mauricio’s side of the story, to be fair. Manolo gets all nervous and tries to leave. Garduño stops him and offers to pay well for a story that clears Fonseca’s name and shows what a fine upstanding honest businessman he is. Manolo says he’ll think about it and flees.

Back at the station, Oliver is having a little nervous breakdown from the stress of it all, and GretelMan is saying everything was fine. Brandon laughs hysterically and says it seems their roles have reversed: Gretel’s wearing the pants now, and Oliver is the stressed-out worrywart novia. Gretel thinks that’s funny, too. {It’s all fun and games until someone spends another two years in the cellar, Gretel.} She smooches Oliver and says it’s over now, and the bug is planted, so now they just have to listen in and find out what’s going on.

Doris is in the middle of another of André’s and Jacky’s fights. Literally, they are wrapped around her and fighting. André swears he has never cheated on Jacky. He demands that Doris verify that he behaved on their trip, but Doris tells him to leave her out of it. She just wants to touch up Jacky’s makeup. {I’m not sure what she can do, even with her skills. Jacky appears to have slept all night in Agent O’s weapons-grade high-power oranging bed.} Jacky storms out and André yells at Doris for not backing him up. She rages that he’s the one who spent the night with some tramp, and he’s just lucky she kept her mouth shut. It’s more than someone as hypocritical, dishonest, and hateful as him deserves.

Fedra’s back home with her two crutches, Bernardo and booze, whining about Pantoja’s extortion. Bernie begs to be allowed to make the judge disappear. Fedra says it’s too dangerous. He could have an accomplice, and then she’d just be in more trouble. There’s no option but to give the judge the shares of the resort. Bernie says she’s worked so hard on this project, though! She even killed Carlota to get the money! “Never mind the details!” Fedra whispers. They’ve got money from Lowrenzo and Garduño, too, and they’ll just have to figure out how to swindle the money back from the judge later.

Eugenio gives flowers to Clara Bella, Pantoja’s secretary, and they both flirt and flutter about the lovely days they’ve spent together. She calls him “mi lick” (according to the captions), too, and it finally occurs to me that she’s probably saying “mi lic” as in short for “licenciado.” He reminds her of the little favor she promised him, and Clara boasts of her knowledge of the safe combination and how much her boss trusts her. She goes to the safe, hidden behind a diploma, and opens it while reciting the combination out loud. 17500, for any of you who want to break in later. She hands over the papers and has a plan to make it look like the office was robbed, which she sets right to. Surely the boss won’t ask how his office was robbed under her watch. Now she wants her little favor, and she apparently wants it right there on the boss’s desk. Eugenio nervously says he didn’t come, ah, prepared. Nonsense, she says, pulling him over.

Ilitia’s all super-ingratiating to Manzanita at the ice cream parlor, and Manza asks why, when she’s usually so nasty to her. Oh, ha ha, nonsense, chuckles Ilitia, trying to make a good impression on Emanuel, who seems to be trying to take a nap on the table. “Isn’t she precious, Baby?” “Yes, preciosisima.” Ilitia says Manzanita seems like she could be their very own little girl. “You, my mother?! Better to be an orphan!” Manza objects. Emanuel cracks up. Then he tries to get Manzanita to hurry and eat her ice cream so he can get back to work. Ilitia teases him that Victoria and Jorge can surely work on the campaign without his help and would prefer to, heh heh. Eman ignores that and says there are other big problems to deal with. There’s been a huge embezzlement and guess who’s guilty? Lorenzo. “Mi papá? No puede ser!” Just then Jorge and MV walk into the same ice cream shop.

Fedra’s getting really sloshed now, and slurring to Bernie about Angela’s predictions. Her past will come back and destroy her! She’s going to die! She’s surrounded by enemies! Bernardo says paying off the judge will fix things, but Fedra reminds him that Gretel is still out and about somewhere, Marianela is gunning for her, Emiliano’s fed up, even Emanuel hates her. “You only love Emanuel because he’s the spitting image of his father!” Bernie says. “Oh, he does look just like Jose Maria Sevilla,” Fedra sighs. Nereida overhears and her eyes bug out.

Mañana: Jorge smooches MV in the malt shop and Emanuel says he’ll kill him. Netty slaps Jorge for cheating on Marianela. Jorge tells her that Marianela and Victoria are the same woman.

Tranza – twisted con-artist crook lowlife

Contundente – blunt

Desfalcar – to embezzle

Soy con la sangre de chinche? – Me, with that pain in the patoot?

Escoria – dregs

Osado – audacious. Fedra’s a fan of an osado man. MariVicky, not so much, especially when it’s Malicio.