Caray, Caray!

Guillermo plays innocent in the matter of Osvaldo's for realz shooting.

Bernarda is pissed that Tomasa has run off and now she's got to answer her own damn door. Tomasa's gonna pay for this! She answers the door to a guy with a badly scarred face and asks him how he got through the gate. He says he's used to people looking at him with fear. Dead JP's Daddy's not-actually-dead kid? Wouldn't he be older than JP? Is JP just not exfoliating and moisturizing enough?

The director knows that the bullet was switched out, but he doesn't know who would want to hurt Osvaldo. Ofelia tells him to chill, they'll investigate, but he needs to just calm down already. Guillermo says it was probably just a mistake, and not unheard of. Damn! What the hell kinds of sets has he been working on? I don't even know why they'd bother to have live bullets available in the special effects department. Or that there wouldn't be copious security measures in place to keep realies from "accidentally" getting into the guns. Sorry…beanie slippage…. Pedro tells someone to summon the head of special effects so he can scream at them. The EMT says it was just a scratch, but he also hit his head, which is what they're more worried about. Os asks Guillermo not to say anything to Victoria, so she'll probably know inside of five minutes. Pedro calls a halt to taping until he's done firing the poor special effects guy. Ofelia asks Guillermo if it was him, but he keeps playing innocent. She wants to know if he really wanted to kill Os. Nah, he's such a sick bastard he probably only did want Os wounded so he can torture him longer.

The guy at Bernarda's door is Fausto. He's looking for work, but she says she doesn't need anyone. He says he can be her chauffer, her gardener, do windows, run errands, and so on. And he'll work for room, board, and a day off a week. She's intrigued, but she has to consult her son…and she has no money. She tells him to come back later for his answer. She asks his name again and he says, I kid you not, that it's "Fausto Candela." Which is a perfectly reasonable name to have, but given Bernarda's history, it's just too cheesy!

Back in the barrio, JuanJo and cousin Cruz discuss playing matchmakers and getting Milagros and Don Napo together. He wants to send Milagros a letter saying it's from a single guy looking for a woman who just happens to have her characteristics. JuanJo suggests they hand-write the letter, then go to the plaza and find someone to type it up for them, since his mom knows his handwriting.

In the hospital, Pedro says they investigated, but no one turned out to be guilty of having substituted the real bullet. Ofelia smiles and says it's like Guillermo said--it must have been an accident. "Obviously the real culprits aren't going to come forward because they fear punishment," she smarms, while looking at Guillermo. Guillermo passes on the info that the doctor assured them that neither the bullet wound nor the head bump were serious. And no, he didn't call Victoria, but he does think she needs to know. Pedro is going to put off filming Osvaldo's scenes until he's better. Osvaldo tries to get out of bed already, but he's still in pain. According to Pedro, he just needs a day of rest and then, like the doctor said, he can get back to his normal life tomorrow. Osvaldo says they're the best friends in the whole world. Guillermo and Ofelia smirk at each other.

Tomasa comes home to a very crabby Bernarda. She decides to tell the truth. Bernarda calls her a traitor. She throws her out of the house and Tomasa is only too happy to go and never see her again. She tells Bernarda that Vic gave her a wad of cash and an offer of work. She's going to go tell Padre JP that Bernarda's got the dead tormenting her, because that's just not normal. She's also convinced that Bernarda killed Don Octavio for wanting to go tell JP that Victoria was preggers. And she just says all this to her face. Damnit, Tomasa! Bernarda lets her have it with a fireplace poker and sends the money wafting out of the envelope.

Maria is all upset, thinking that Linda was right about men only wanting one thing. Nathy suggests they go up to the roof, look at the stars, get some fresh air, and talk. Maria's not in the mood. She just wants to mope. Nathy insists and drags her out of the apartment. Maria whines and complains the whole way up the stairs…until she sees the romantic setup on the roof. Good thing she wore her formal peignoir. She tells Nathy she's not in the mood for jokes. Max, however, is in the mood for something.

Bernarda sees Tomasa's body and starts backing away. She knocks the pictures off the mantel and starts crazying that Tomasa deserved it. Actually, she's pulling the pictures down and dropping them on the floor, which is kind of random.

Max says it's no joke, he's serious, and the night is just getting started. He tells her he's never done this before. They sit down at the table and Max says he wants to confess something to her…"The day was a farce, just so I'd have time to arrange all this. And Nathy was my accomplice, but she didn't know what I was doing." He kind of formally thanks her for giving him her virginity. The white roses are supposed to symbolize that she's still pure, in her heart. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but it sounds really cheesy and somewhat misogynistic when he says it out loud. He hired a violinist. And he also hired a full moon, cause he's Max and he can do that with the power of his hotness combined with his big fat wallet. He dances with Maria, but then he starts giving the violinist a free show. I bet that guy sees a LOT of action on his job. Smoochies…smoochies…dancing smoochies…smoochies dancing. Max says he knows he's the first man in her life, but he swears he'll be the last too. Smoochies. The candles are burned almost the whole way down.

Nathy talks to Fabian and tells him the plan went off without a hitch. He can even hear the violinist through the phone. Nathy gushes over how romantic it is. Fabian suggests they go to the movies together and leave the two "tortolitos" (lovebirds) alone. I appreciate that he seems to genuinely like her and doesn't act like he's doing her a favor. I'm going to be annoyed when he doesn't realize he likes her until after her makeover.

Max finally opens the bottle of wine so they can toast to their love, their happiness, being together forever, and the sad day she spent without him so he could surprise her. She toasts with him. He also wants her to know that his only wish in this life is to be with her, and he'll be with her no matter what happens. They toast again. Maria says she really did suffer a lot and he'd better not do it again! He swears he won't…unless it's to do something like this again, ja ja ja. They keep drinking and smiling. Is it wrong of me to wonder where the food is? You can't be having these marathon lovemaking sessions on an empty stomach! Geez, Max! Feed the poor girl already and quit getting her drunk!

And the crazy logic for the murder…"You swore before Christ that you wouldn't say anything and since you broke your oath I had to kill you. Don't you understand that my mission is to get rid of all the sinners in the world?" She actually lights a match and lights the fire in the fireplace without freaking herself out. She wonders out loud what she's going to do with Tomasa now. Fausto (*snicker*) comes in and says he'll take care of it. "How did you get in?" "That doesn't matter. What matters is that this is the chance I've been waiting for to show you that I will serve you unconditionally." She offers him Tomasa's money for helping her. He accepts, but says he doesn't want money. He just wants to serve her. She's religious and she reminds him of his parents, but above all, they both know that sinners need to be punished. "And where you'd get that idea from? How do you know I think that way?" He says not to ask and just know that her most faithful servant has finally arrived. She agrees, but says he's on probation and she'll get rid of him if she's not convinced. He says he'll make himself her accomplice to seal the deal. He'll burn this sinner's body, since she's surely burning in hell already. He kisses her cross. Ewwwwwww! I have three potential theories for how this all turns out, some of them not mutually exclusive: (1) they're going to sleep together, (2) he's going to be the one who ends up killing her, (3) they're going to kill each other.

Victoria tells Antonieta that she's so happy she saw Tomasa again and repaid her debt. Victoria says it was thanks to Tomasa that she was able to survive. Oscar comes in to announce the completion of the ready-to-wear collection.

They all go to Pipino's workshop. Antonieta marvels at how the designs all look expensive. Pip gives Oscar the credit, for making Victoria's idea a reality. She says it's just what she wanted. Oscar has the budget ready for her to review and the costs really were low, he says. Pip doesn't give a hang for cost. He says the collection is going to be a great success. Antonieta thinks the dresses are ideal for women without a lot of money to spend. Victoria is dying to see one on and asks Antonieta to model.

The cousins are back, crowing over their success. They say she'll finally get a "sopa de su propia chocolate" (a soup of her own chocolate; a taste of her own medicine, but they seem to mean it more like "she always helps other people and it's about time someone helped her"). Milagros overhears and wants to know what they're doing. JuanJo says nothing and then starts teasing her about rooting for the Chivas. He is apparently a Club America fan. Before she can find out what's going on, Don Napo comes running in saying there's a big fire, they've called out all the trucks, and they need all the help they can get. JuanJo goes running out and then tells Cruz to go with them. As Cruz runs out, Milagros gives them her blessing…most of it after they've left the room.

Antonieta shows off the blue floral dress and Oscar seems to see her for the first time. Victoria's phone rings and she says "Osvaldo? Balazo?" (gunshot) and then goes running for the hospital. Oscar goes with her. Pip says to Antonieta that with that dress on, he thinks Oscar's eyes popped out. "That's how you should dress! More youthful. Not so formal." He swears Oscar really was looking at her and she giggles.

The fire is going strong at the building.

At Bernarda's house, the fire in the fireplace is also going strong as Bernarda says that Tomasa's body is burning like her soul is burning in hell. Fausto gives her a creeeeeeepy look.

Burning building. Firemen in action. People getting saved.

Bernarda's house. She jumps up form her chair by the fire and gets dizzy. Fausto is concerned. "I imagine that you must be terrified at seeing the fire too. I say it because of your face. What happened?" Fausto says it was an accident he's never been able to forget. He gives her the creeeeeeepy look again.

Burning building. People getting loaded onto ambulances. The fire is over. Juanjo says his cousin outdid him. Don Napo says that fireman are the most loving chaps, cause they save people's lives without even knowing them. The chief offers Cruz a permanent job and Cruz accepts…oh, but then who's going to teach Fer about the *cough* flowers growing in her *cough* garden?

At Osvaldo's bedside, Ofelia says they whole effects department should be fired. Pedro won't rest until he finds out who did it, because he suspects it was someone who wanted to hurt Osvaldo on purpose. Guillermo says no way, everybody luuuuuuurves Osvaldo. Victoria comes running in with Oscar. She's not put off by him calling it an accident and demands a full investigation. Pedro says he absolutely will. Osvaldo tells her to calm down already, it's nothing. The doctor just wants him to stay under observation. Victoria wants to stay with him, but Guillermo says it should be him. Victoria won't leave. Osvaldo reminds her how much work she has to do and says he's fine. Vic says she thought she was going to die when she got the call. Life has no meaning without him! Pedro says they ought to leave Vic and Os to their hospital smoochies.

Max tells Maria she looks beautiful in the moonlight. She's so happy to be with him. He's the happiest man in the world. He wants to see her everyday and sell tortas, ja ja ja. Smoochies.

Linda, still in the hospital, sees the news about Os's "accident." The reporter helpfully tells the whole world that Os is right up there in his suite on the 6th floor.

Vic is still going on about how much she loves Os and would die without him. Os says he once read that someone wrote that they weren't as afraid of dying as of becoming useless. He gets that now. Vic says they need to think that every age has it's beauty.

Linda is on her way.

Vic says death is irrevocable and she hates the thought of death catching up to them one day. Os says growing old means not doing a lot of things,

"No son muertos los que en dulce calma,
la paz disfrutan de la tumba fria,
muertos son los que llevan muerte el alma
y aun estan con vida."

He's (slightly mis-)quoting the first stanza of a poem by Columbian poet Antonio Muñoz Feijoo. The other two are:

No son los muertos, no, los que reciben
Rayos de luz en sus despojos yertos.
Los que mueren con honra son los vivos.
Los que viven sin honra son los muertos.

La vida no es la vida que vivimos.
La vida es el honor y es el recuerdo.
Por eso hay muertos que en el mundo viven,
Y hombres que viven en el mundo muertos.

It means, "They are not dead who in the sweet calm, enjoy peace in their cold tomb, dead are they who carry death in their souls and still have life. They are not dead, no, they who receive rays of light in their stiff remains. Those who die with honor are the living. Those who live without honor are the dead. Life isn't the life that we live. Life is honor and is being remembered. That is why there are dead men who live in the world and men who live in the world dead."

Vic kisses him.

Linda continues her stalking. She sees Vic and Os through the window in his room. He convinces Vic to leave, finally (dumbass!). Linda has to run so they don't pass her in the hallway. She sees Vic, Oscar, Ofelia, and Pedro waiting for the elevator and sneaks into Osvaldo's room. She starts kissing him and says she was sooooo worried about him. He reminds her it's over. She reminds him she's nuts and isn't going to let him off the hook. She threatens him with his wife. He threatens her with the cops. He says he's sure she provoked the "accident" so she could meet Victoria. He asks her again to leave. Speaking of stalkers, Guillermo approaches. Osvaldo physically shoves her out of the room just in time for Guillermo to get a picture on his cell phone. Linda passes by his open window and pouts.

Back in her room, she munches on Lays (heh) while watching the news and saying they should have killed him outright and made his wife suffer!

Fer and Victoria watch the same news program. Fer is upset that no one told her what was going on. She was scared. She doesn't know what she'd do if anything bad happened to either of her parents. Vic says "Now you know how I feel when you do crazy shit!" She says anything she does to keep Fer safe is justified, cause she's a mom.

Padilla meets some shady guys to try to borrow money. He swears he'll pay on time, with interest. The guys say either he pays up on time or he dies. That's the way it goes. Padilla agrees and gets handed a briefcase full of cash, presumably.

Vic tells Fer that family is the most important thing in this life. Fer asks her to stay until she falls asleep and Vic agrees. Fer makes room for Vic in bed and snuggles up.

Maria tells Nathy she no longer has any doubts that Max really loves her. Nathy still can't understand how Maria agreed to…um…you know..that she and Max…that Max and she…. Maria says until last night she didn't know what love is. And you can only talk about "physical love" when you've been in the arms of the man you love. So wise she is, after one night in a hotel. Her whole narrative is bodice-ripper worthy, "When he kisses you…when he caresses you…to feel the heat of his skin…little by little that passion awakes and you're on fire inside…and then you sink, like you're falling straight into heaven…or hell." She doesn't know if she did the right thing or not, but love conquered her and she gave herself to him…and to the fire of luuuuuurve! The girls giggle.

The next day, Osvaldo gets checked out. Guillermo wonders what Vic was paying for, since Osvaldo's stay was paid for by the production company. She says it was Linda's bill, the girl her chauffer ran over. Linda is walked into the little lobby by her roommates. Vic says she needs to report to the fashion house to get her assignment. Linda smarmily says she's glad that Mr. Sandoval is feeling better too. Maria and Nathy give her dirty looks for that comment.

Padre JP wonders where Tomasa is. Bernarda says she left the house last night because Victoria gave her a bunch of money and they argued. Tomasa said she hated Bernarda and wished her dead, and then she left. "See what happens because I'm such a good person! I didn't deserve that!" Fausto comes in and is introduced. PJP assures him that he feels compassion for him and thinks he must have suffered a lot. Fausto says PJP has the same good heart as Bernarda. Bernarda says Fausto is a very devout man, which is part of why she hired him. PJP says he smells something really strange coming from the fireplace. He thinks it smells like burned meat. "Mom? What did you do? I beg you to tell me what you did." Staring match.

Sweet William Levy in a kayak!

Tomorrow: Bernarda makes another attempt on Vic; Maria meets her rival, Jimena, who is determined to get Max back. And like a dumbass, he kisses her. Sheesh!

Labels: triunfo