Caray, Caray!

So, Max tells his mom's Baby Daddy, JP the Catholic priest, that his mom doesn't want him to date her daughter. See, when I put it that way, it sounds like a reasonable request. And a Jerry Springer episode. But Max is never gonna give her up (and presumable never gonna let her down, run around, or desert her).

Ximena whines and cries to her wanna-be mother-in-law that she just luuuuuuurves Max and wants him back. Pathetic much? Vicki tells Ximena if she wants him so bad, she's gonna have to seduce him and make him want her again. Gross. Ximena practically brags about her horizontal mambo moves while both mamas smile. Again, gross.

The Naco Macho crew (Cruz, Don Napo, and Juanjo) have breakfast. Cruz wants to have a good honest talk with Juanjo about his upcoming nuptials, but Juanjo is just too crazy in love with Linda to listen. Cruz changes tracks and presents Juanjo with some fútbol tickets.

Fausto answers the door to Eva, calling her his "tía" (is that the first time? I had to get caught up on all the episodes this morning, so I might have missed it if he's said it before). She shows him the picture she found in Bernarda's room as proof. Fausto cries over his parents. He and Eva want to find out why Bernarda killed his parents. And as soon as they do, Fausto will take his revenge. (Is anyone watching Face Off on SyFy? I think the TN makeup people could totally kick the asses of most of the contestants!)

Max goes home and tells Vic he's not in the mood to argue, so he's just going to go up and get ready to go out for the night. He says they'll talk tomorrow, but he's not going to change his mind. Vic asks him to at least not leave until they're done with the Miami show. After that, he can do what he wants, but she needs him. "You can count on me, like you always have," he says. He gives her a kiss and heads upstairs.

Maria Desamparada can't figure out why Milagros invited them over, but then wasn't home. Nathy thought she wanted to show them some bridal magazines. She asks for the whole story about what happened in Acapulco. Maria D said they agreed not to hide their luuuuurve anymore and even showed up to work holding hands, which got Ximena all riled up. MD gushes about finally getting to see the ocean and how she's so sure she and Max will be happy and nothing will separate them again. *sigh* So young, so innocent.

William Levy tries to do a PSA about good hygiene, but he's interrupted by his incredibly skanky ex-girlfriend. Naked. In the shower. To his credit, so far he's trying to get as far away from her as he can in that confined space. But still. Have a little dignity, Ximena!

Max shuts off the water and gets out of the shower, pulling on a towel and putting one on her as best as he can. He asks her to leave him alone, for the millionth time. She whines at him to give her a chance. Max calls her crazy and gets the hell out of there. Let that be a lesson to all you skanky-ex-having men out there. Lock the bathroom door.

Osvaldo checks out a jewelry store, thinking back to his conversation with Padre JP.

Fer is impressed with Fed's new apartment. Why? It's nice, but compared to her house, it's nothing special. She claims not to care about money, but he says her parents do. He wants them to accept them so they can get married ASAP and have all the sex they want without anyone telling them not to. Fer looks tempted, but she hesitates.

Osvaldo buys something the clerk says his wife will adore. Hm…wife? We'll see about that.

Os calls Linda to apologize for the way he treated her when she showed up half-dressed at his place of employment where people know him and will notice that she's draped all over him like a cheap polyester scarf (cause you know she can't pass for cashmere!). Linda says it won't happen again. Os says he knows it's not her birthday, but he'd like to get together tonight. She agrees, of course, and goes to put on something tighter and skimpier than she's already wearing.

Victoria goes over to Antonieta's. Maria Magdalena seems to be doing well, and just needs some rest. Vic tells Toni to get some rest herself and she'll keep an eye on MM.

Vic thought bubbles, watching a sleeping MM, that she accepts her as her daughter. She vows to make up for her crappy life, mostly with material goods, it sounds like. She asks the Virgen for help coming clean to her family, and especially Os who has never lied or hidden anything from her.

Os is parked out in the street.

Linda is fussing over not being able to find her favorite earrings. Nathy and Maria D help her search the miniscule living room for them.

Os keeps waiting, then gets out of the car.

Ximena's mom is going out to some kind of event. She tells her mother she's not going so she can wait around the house for Max. Not that he said he was coming over, but she thinks he might and it would be a shame to have him come over and her not be there. Wow. That's both extremely optimistic and extremely stupid. Someone knocks on the door and they both get excited, thinking it might be Max. It's Guillermo. Heh.

Osvaldo goes up to the girls' apartment and Maria lets him in. She gives him the most disappointed look imaginable. She tells him that she and Linda are roomies. Linda's so excited to have Os there and jumps all over him. She runs back to her room for I don't care what and Os is left with the other two. He realizes, and Maria confirms, that she already knows all about him banging Linda. The doorbell buzzes again. This time it's Max. Os has a heart attack, keels over and dies. No, not really, but I bet he wishes he would.

Os is very confused about Max being there. Linda gets shushed when she comes back into the room. There's a lot of fussing over what to do and Nathy finally says Os and Linda should go hide in the bedroom since Maria refuses to get rid of Max by lying to him. She goes to open the door. Max asks why they didn't open the door. Nathy says she was in her underwear. Max notices Linda's not there.

Os gets the gossip about Max and MD from Linda. He says he kind of knew already, because Fer told him, so Linda comes clean, even telling him about the proposal. Os is upset that Max didn't tell him and that Vic is opposed, even though he pretty much guessed that as well. Linda tells him that Vic is determined that Max should marry Ximena. Os looks upset. Because Vic won't let Max marry whoever he wants or because he's having to find out what's going on in his own family from his skank-ho mistress? Or maybe both.

Ximena's mom gushes to Guillermo about how Ximena's gonna get Max back. Guillermo says lots of men will envy Max, himself included. Mom leaves and Ximena and Guillermo play their usual gross sex games.

Max asks why Maria and Nathy look so nervous. Did something happen to Linda? He says he was hoping to take all of them to dinner, but Nathy says maybe later. Maria suggests they go out to dinner alone, but Max thinks it would be better to order a pizza, watch some TV and wait for Linda. Nathy says no way, she's got studying to do, and you know how it is with genetic engineering--one little bit of noise and there goes all her concentration. Max and Maria leave for parts unknown. There might be sex, but I think it's more likely there will be one long strand of spaghetti and a single meatball. Os is no longer in the mood to go out and tells Linda again that his family is NEVER going to know about them. Nobody's thinking that Max might recognize his daddy's car parked outside? Os sadly thanks Nathy for covering for them and then sneaks out. Linda says it's going to be her birthday and all she wants is to be with Os and now he's leaving. She throws a temper tantrum.

Ximena tries to get rid of Guillermo, but as soon as he actually starts to leave, she gets on him. What the hell are those shorts she's wearing with the saggy bottoms?

Linda keeps throwing her tantrum. Nathy says he's never leaving his family for Linda and she's wasting her time and her life on being "the other woman" when she could be the wife. Linda says if Nathy wants to marry Juanjo, then she should take him. She suggests getting into his bed when Milagros is out of the house. Linda is sure if Max found out about her and Os, he'd be cool with it since EVERYBODY knows Os is sick of Vicki.

Maria is pissed off that Max didn't tell her about Padre JP. She wants to visit him later, since he's like the father she never had.

El Alacran whines to Padre JP that he didn't lay a hand on Maria Magdalena. He thinks maybe she ran off with someone else, but he hopes she's ok. Padre JP writes down his mom's address so El Alacran can go see if MM is there.

Eva is still looking for more proof. She writes down something from Bernarda's planner on a scrap of paper.

Maria and Max make googly eyes at each other. Maria is afraid of Max leaving her. Max says he'll always be at her side. Smoochies.

Eva calls Vic. She calls herself an ally and says they need to meet so Eva can give her some dirt on Bernarda. Bernarda walks in and Eva has to pretend it was a wrong number. Bernie sends Eva to get Fausto so they can pray.

Toni comes into the bedroom to ask about the call. Vic tells her. Toni thinks it's a trap. Vic says she's not going to doubt anymore and she's going to accept MM as her daughter. She calls Os to tell him she's not coming home for dinner. Os is with Guillermo and he lets the phone ring. Toni is obviously thinking he's with Linda and she makes a face.

Os tells Gui that it was Victoria calling, but he doesn't want to talk to her. Guillermo thinks it's time to come clean and stop pretending to have a fairytale marriage. He thinks if Os really loved his wife, he wouldn't have a lover. He thinks people should just be realistic and admit that sometimes love ends and get over it. He wants to toast to Os's happiness with a new woman, but Os refuses to toast to that. Gui says this is Os's chance to be with a young hottie who wants to be all about his needs.

The Macho Nacos and Milagros are home from the fútbol game. It was a tie. More blah-blah-blah about the fake love letters and the admirers. Juanjo says he's going to say good night to Linda and make plans for her birthday tomorrow. Milagros brags about the awesome gift Juanjo got for her, but he tells her to shush about it. Linda opens the door, expecting Os, and has to pretend she's happy to see Juanjo and crew. Juanjo tells her his mom's making her a special birthday dinner tomorrow. Cruz and Don Napo tell Linda they hope she doesn't miss it. And that she's not late. Since someone's been late to a lot of things lately. The crew leaves so Juanjo and Linda can say goodbye alone.

El Alacran asks Bernarda about Maria M, but she says she doesn't know where she is. She tells Fausto to walk El Alacran to the door. She's pissed that Vic probably got to "the girl" before she did.

Vic tells Toni that she's got to act fast before Bernie does any more harm. Toni says things are getting complicated. Vic says she'll defend "her daughter" with her life. Toni reminds her she's got another daughter too and Fer is also in danger from Padilla and his son.

Maria is shocked that Max is going to quit, but he says he's actually already quit and is just staying until after the Miami show. He's also going to leave the house. He hates to have to do it right when his parents are having such a tough time. Maria doesn't want him having trouble with his family on her account, but Max tells her not to worry about it. He thinks if his mom keeps on with the attitude she's had, she's going to end up alone.

Juanjo and Linda hang out at Juanjo's. He wanted to talk about their families--her parents are divorced and his dad died when he was young. He says he loves her and wants her to be the mother of his children. He wants to offer her a house of her own. Linda says she doesn't think she's the right woman for him, but he argues that she is. All he wants is for her to say she loves him and wants to rule his house and his heart, even if that sounds cheesy. He just felt like he had to tell her all that. Linda is shocked he wants her to be the mother of his kids. "Don't you love me for my body? For how pretty I am?" Juanjo says maybe at first, and he figures she could use her looks to get money out of men, but she hasn't. That's how he knows she's a nice girl. Linda gets weepy and thanks him. She says no one's ever talked to her like that. "You're a good guy and any woman would be happy by your side." Juanjo says she's the woman for him. He hugs her and she cries harder. She says she's crying because she's an idiot.

Max says he always dreamed of having his own business, starting from scratch just like his mom. He wants to be his own man, not Victoria's son or Osvaldo's son. And he'd get started tomorrow, but he promised his mom he'd stay until after Miami. Maria asks him about his business--men's clothes? He says no, women's clothes. Maria is shocked, "You're going to compete with your mother?" I guess he hadn't thought of it that way.

Sweet William Levy in a kayak!

Next time: Os thinks Vic is cheating; Max proposes. Again.

Labels: triunfo