Caray, Caray!

…And Everyone Wants to Jump Ship
Escaped prisoner Carlos has made his way to a beach restaurant on his ATV. It’s closed, but he manages to bribe the clean-up guy with his sparkly watch in order to use the phone. Long distance must be really expensive in Mexico because the watch only earns him one call. He calls Yolanda, who’s pacing a hole through the floor. He only manages to urge her to call JJ and Leo, and inform her that the girls are being held in the beach house, which is near the town of San Martin, before the restaurant owner cuts off the call. He’s worried about those astronomical long distance fees, and examines the payment watch carefully to judge if it’s valuable enough to pay for the previous and any future calls.

Yolanda wakes JJ up from a deep sleep and passes on the message, but she can’t say whether Ale is well. When she mentions calling Leo, JJ isn’t sure and encourages her to hang up in case Carlos calls back. JJ immediately calls…David. (You didn’t think he was actually going to call Leo, did you?) Nope, he has no idea how Gabi and Juli are. When he shares the name of the town with David, David asks if he knows how many towns in Mexico are named San Martin! They need to find out what state the town is in; they can at least track down the San Martins on the coast.

Carlos makes a collect call to Yolanda, with the restaurant owner breathing down his neck. This time he is able to tell her where San Martin is located- Tierra Colorada- and urges her once again to inform Leo.

Back at JJ’s, he’s berating the folks at AFI to put him in touch with Leo or Ramon, immediately!!! Neither one of them can be found. Limon, in the largest polka dots I have ever seen, gets the scoop from JJ about escaped Carlos and the girls still held at the beach house. Unfortunately, Leo and his men are off in Tabasco with no cell phone signal, following the map clue JJ and David passed on earlier.

Morning finally breaks and Adolfo is greeted by Bandana Goon, instead of Alejo (the guy he expected to kill Bandana Goon). Adolfo’s eye twitch betrays that he’s not pleased, but Bandana Goon plays it cool as another goon goes searching for Alejo.

At JJ’s, he’s freshly showered and casually dressed, but he’s in no mood to eat the bread and coffee Limon has laid out for him. He finally gets a call from Ramon, who will gladly take down the info and give it to Leo when he arrives. This response is not urgent enough for JJ, so he hangs up WITHOUT leaving any info for the cops. He calls David…who is, uhm…wait, let me rewind this important scene. ..Where was I? Well, David hasn’t quite gotten dressed yet and is pacing the bedroom in his tighty whiteys getting, uhm…briefed by JJ.

I’m too distracted to really pay attention to what they’re saying. But I think JJ is annoyed at the police. He throws the phone down in frustration after hanging up, takes a swig of his coffee, and immediately spits it out. Seems that Limon made it extra bitter (amargo) to wake him up. It worked.

At the beach house, Adolfo is sucking on his binky and fretting about non-dead goons, missing goons, and his crappy situation in general.

The goon searching for Alejo reports that not only can he not find him, but Carlos is also missing. He takes Adolfo to Carlos’s room, with Bandana Goon following closely behind. Adolfo finds Carlos’s wallet, with all the cash missing. Adolfo is sure he paid off Alejo to help him escape. (Well played Bandana Goon.) Outside, Edgar and Valentin are getting friendly with Pedro and explaining who the girls are, when Adolfo comes running up. Pedro reports that he last saw Alejo last night near Carlos’s room. He said he had business to take care of (un asunto) and if they asked for him, say he never saw him. And how far is the nearest town? About 60 kilometers and it would be difficult to walk there along the beach. It would take about two days. “We have time!” Adolfo seems to be lost in his own crazy train of thought but then he tells Pedro to order the yacht to be stocked with a week of provisions and bring it immediately. He then orders Edgar and Valentin to bring the girls to the “cuarto de peñasco” (large rock/boulder/crag) Edgar plays innocent and asks for Carlos. Adolfo starts more crazy talk and orders them to bring the guns (armas). The goons look like they’re humoring their old, crazy uncle.

In their current prison room, the girls immediately huddle when Edgar and Valentin barge in with guns drawn to move them. Dante seems to have reached his limit with this madness and argues with Adolfo about moving the girls. The two mafiosos soon lock antlers… well, shiny guns, and it’s a face off.

Dante wants the girls kept safe and sound because they are their passports to freedom. Adolfo seems to get it, and lowers his gun, but he still has the girls moved. They are locked in Carlos’ previous glass incased prison.

Adolfo communicates with his yacht captain via radio. Unfortunately, the yacht can’t make it there in under five hours since they have to check the equipment. Adolfo doesn’t give a damn about the equipment. Dante wants to know where the heck they’re going, but Adolfo thinks his only concern should be staying out of prison. “And the women? What are we going to do with them?” “Don’t pressure me Dante!” “You’re not going to kill them are you?!” Dante tries to talk sense into Adolfo, but Adolfo is WAY past the point of reasoning. He’s getting rid of his problems, and if the girls or Dante become problems, then he’ll get rid of them with his shiny gun. He points it in Dante’s face for emphasis. Dante seems to get it. Bandana Goon is playing all his cards and has been sticking close to Adolfo and Dante all this time. When Dante leaves, he asks if Adolfo has problems and asks about Dante. Adolfo’s not planning on Dante joining them on the yacht. He’ll be left behind. Of course, NOT alive. “Leave me alone!!”

The girls are trying to find a way to escape, but acknowledge it won’t be easy with all the armed men surrounding the house. Juli finds a lone glass bottle, and Gabi thinks they have to at least give it a try. Ale doesn’t look as sure, but she takes possession of the bottle and stealthily approaches when Bandana Goon comes in with their food. She smashes the bottle hard over his head, but only succeeds in making him drop the food tray and get a bit dizzy. He immediately pulls his gun as they beg him not to shoot. Not to worry. He’s going to help them out of here, in good time. He leaves them and lies to one of the other goons that he just dropped the tray of food.

Back in DF, both David and JJ are looking fine in their causal t-shirts and jeans. JJ is gung ho for them to go it alone, like Bruce Willis, and storm the beach house without the cops. David thinks this would just expose the girls and themselves to more danger. Anyway, they need more info from Carlos. Leo shows up and JJ immediately starts griping at him like a jealous wife. “Where were you? Where have you been? What, you can’t answer your cell phone?” (Uhm...JJ, you know where he was and what he was doing. He was chasing YOUR clue!) Leo is not having it. “Look, I’m not going to tolerate the way you’re speaking to me! I understand your anguish, but I’m in the same situation! Calm down.” JJ backs down, and David passes on what they learned from Carlos the night before. Leo’s heading back to his office to plan the operation. JJ doesn’t seem to understand the meaning or importance of planning a rescue operation. Just then Carlos calls again, and gives more info about the state of the girls, how many men are at the house (he thinks around 10), and exactly where the house is. They’ll pick him up on the way so that he can direct them to the house. JJ and David insinuate themselves in the rescue operation, even though they’re civilians. There’s no way they’re staying behind. Road trip!

At Casa Genoves, Secret Agents Chucho Chicles and Caramelo are looking for trouble in Mario’s room. When the phone rings, Chicles takes the opportunity to eavesdrop on the conversation from the bedroom phone, despite Cara’s protests. David tells Abelardo all about the rescue operation. At first he lies about participating in the operation, but then tells him the truth. He asks him not to tell the others that they will be part of the rescue operation. Abelardo agrees, but asks him to be careful. Chucho Chicles is very pleased to be in on such a big secret.

In his apartment, Ulises has his boxes packed and is asking Elsa about love. Her new healthy attitude is that love will come when it’s supposed to—when she feels whole and sure of herself. She asks Ulises where he’s headed. He’s going far away, with company—someone who he’s not yet sure he can trust, but he doesn’t have a lot of options, and he has nothing to lose. It will be an adventure. He wants to give it a go. Elsa gives him a heartfelt hug and tells him he deserves happiness because he is such a beautiful human being. She wishes him well. They both cry a little and laugh that one day they will laugh together about this phase in their lives.

Dora is clutching her rosary beads and praying silently. She asks Abelardo if he has any updates from David, so he tells her and Santiago the PG version that David told him. Unfortunately, Chicles seems to have forgotten what the word secret means. He rats out David and JJ for being part of the rescue mission, and Cara rats him out for listening in on the call. Dora panics and Santiago worries.

On the patio, Bertha and Limon fret as well. Limon shares the news about the boys’ role in the rescue mission. Bertha actually worries about someone else! She worries how Dora is taking the news. Bertha decides it’s time for her to do something to help the situation too. She’s going to see Yolanda Rey.

In the office, the three elders (Dora, Santiago and Abelardo) have a mini version of the same debate we’ve been having the last few weeks. How do you solve a problem like Bertha? Santiago thinks a bunch of the bad stuff going down is her fault. Abelardo brings up the fact that Carlos loves her. Dora thinks everyone should b e given an opportunity; she just may change. Santiago’s not buying it. She’s an ambitious girl, without scruples, who’s capable of anything. Abelardo indulges in some gossip about Carlos ditching Mina for Bertha. Another victim of Bertha! (LOL! I didn’t realize what a gossip Abelardo is. ) Now he’s giving the juicy info about Adolfo finding his young wife and son in flagrante delicto. It must be love, decides Dora. If Carlos has decided that Bertha is his happiness, then Dora supports them! Santiago is all like, whatever!! “I still have my doubts.”

Captain Ahab is on his radio pressuring the yacht captain to arrive, post haste. It will still likely be another four hours. “Keep me informed! Over and out.” (cambio y fuera) Outside, Valentin reports to Edgar and Dante that he’s found a boat (lancha). Bandana goon confirms that it works, it’s what Adolfo uses to get out to the yacht, but Adolfo is the one who has the key. Anyway, it’s not fit to go very far without capsizing; you need to have another boat to meet you out in the water. Dante wants more info about Adolfo’s yacht. He’s determined to find a way to use that boat, and Bandana Goon is going to help him find it.

At her condo, Yolanda is looking fab as usual, as she frets over Carlos and the girls. If she doesn’t hear anything soon, she’s heading over to Casa Genoves. When the doorbell rings, she wonders if it could be Carlos. But it’s a newly humble Bertha. Yolanda introduces her to Juanita as Mario’s niece, and more importantly, Carlos’s girlfriend. Bertha shares the news about the planned rescue, but she’s really come to apologize for the rude way she treated Yolanda, although Yolanda was just trying to warn her. Yolanda encourages her to tutear her, and says it’s all water under the bridge. She knows Bertha loves money. Who wouldn’t want to have money? And Yolanda loves money too. Thanks to Adolfo, she’s lived a comfortable life. She didn’t realize until too late the high price she was paying for these luxuries. Bertha tells Yolanda that although she is Adolfo’s wife, she no longer wants his money. She only wants Carlos. She loves him with her whole soul. Yolanda believes her, but wants to know, and is relieved to find out, that she did not have relations with Adolfo. Bertha is sure that what Adolfo wanted was just company. Bertha then asks Yolanda about the conversation she overheard between Yolanda and Adolfo when he said they were spawns of the Devil. Yolanda looks impactada, but she does not reveal the secret. “Human beings are complex. We all have secrets that are hidden truths, that we don’t want to reveal, or that we shouldn’t. Some of these secrets are permanently etched marks, and are many times painful.” Bertha’s pea brain tries to work out this heavy piece of philosophy. She decides to ask a direct question. “What happened to the two of you?” “We were victims of perversity. And it’s too dark of a secret. It only pertains to the two of us. Adolfo and me. They day that this secret is discovered, will be because he and I decided it. Because it’s what we share, it’s what unites us, and it’s what’s kept us united--until the last day of our lives.” (Ok. Did that build your curiosity to a fevered pitch?)

Ah!! Creepy doll! Whew! It’s just Cara working out her fears about the kidnapping by talking it out with her doll. Chicles comes in and only heightens her fears by acting out the gun fight he imagines is happening with the rescue. Limon and Santiago try to distract the kids by convincing them to play a game. Cara’s not in the mood. Cara is worried about her aunties, and especially Ale who she is expecting to become her mom. She doesn’t want the kidnappers to hit her, like they did Tia Yolanda. Chicles thinks there’s nothing to worry about, since JJ and David will be going in with guns blazing. He doesn’t know why they didn’t take him! Santiago tries to teach Chicles that violence is not a good thing. (Is this sinking in to our mini goon’s head? Nope. I didn’t think so either.) All we need is love…and art, and music. Chicles is skeptical. What about monsters, mummies and killers? You know, all the good things in life. Limon tries another approach to get the all you need is love message into Chicles’ brain—a good whack upside the head. Santiago urges Limon to be patient, as Chicles is a child and doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation. Cara lets them know that she fully understands the situation, although she’s little. She’s sad because Ale was going to be her mother, and she wants her to return, because she wants a mommy. Limon comforts her with a hug, and Santiago tries to comfort them all, including himself, with positive words. They are all going to come back, and his grandchild will be born safe and sound.

In the forest surrounding the beach house, Leo, the AFI squad, and the Three Musketeers, approach. The 3Ms are not keen on being left behind when the action starts. Carlos makes the case that he knows the easiest ways to get into the house. Leo confers with Ramon about the next steps. The 3Ms make their own stupid plan. David and JJ brought guns-- JJ’s is hidden in his back pants waist; David’s is hidden in his sock. They’re going to be a part of this, “cueste lo que cueste.” (whatever the cost/come what may) Leo returns to let them know they can go with Ramon. JJ wants (more) heat, so Leo gets them each a gun, to only be used in self defense. Suddenly, a manic booming voice penetrates the forest. “Stop! If you come any closer, we’ll kill the women!!” Leo uses his own megaphone to respond to Adolfo. “Avila. Give up. There’s no escape.” Adolfo isn’t giving in to any demands. In fact, he’s got his own demands. He wants Carlos, delivered to him in five minutes, unarmed. If not, then he’ll kill one of the women. They all pause, completely impactados by this crazy request. Then JJ out-crazies Adolfo! He takes off running, gun drawn, directly for the beach house and Adolfo’s private army of goons.

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