Episode 188. 1+1=3. Or is that 2+2=5?
University: Gretel and Oliver chat and smooch on a bench until Delicia joins them, looking downcast. They figure she must have failed her exam and hasten to assure her that this is a temporary setback; they’ll help her study and she’ll ace it next time. Fakeout! Delicia breaks into a grin and tells them she did awesomely. Cheers and happiness. Axhole rains on this parade simply by showing up. He congratulates Delicia and she returns a cold glare. He wants to join their celebration, but she says no. Delicia and Oliver skip off and Gretel tells Axhole to give Delicia time; everything will work out.
Hospital waiting room: Sad-faced Doctor Arnaldo tells Conswailer, Netty, and Gladiola that Javier’s tests look great and he can probably go home in a few days. Netty asks why he looks so down, then. Doc A stiffly congratulates her on her engagement and leaves on the verge of tears. Glad and Consuelo remark that she’s breaking hearts left and right, while they’ve got no galáns at all. Con says she’s going after Brandon, and Gladiola had better not get in the way. Glad says I’m not the problem, he’s just not that into you. They wonder why Netty seems so gloomy. She says she just doesn’t want to get excited until everything’s settled and she and Emil are good and married.
Agency: Jose Maria visits Emiliano and proposes a gentlemen’s pact, since he’s so honorable. He’s throwing his hat in Netty’s ring. Emil finds this preposterous. “Netty and I are engaged, so get out.” “But you’re not even divorced yet, so all’s fair.” “Fine, whatever, if you win her over, I’ll respect that, but if she sticks with me, you are going to disappear.” Deal.
Mansión de Mucho Maldad: Mauricio tells Ilitia he did her a favor knocking her up. Husband-trap, yay! “My baby is Emanuel’s, and you disgust me!” Malicio smarms that she wants him BAD. He grabs her. Ilitia tries to shake him off and tells him not to hurt her; she’s pregnant. He thinks that’s hot. As they continue to struggle, he clamps a hand over her mouth and drags her away.
Javi’s hospital room: Javi teases Marianela about being in love with El Lirio. She says she just got carried away, he’s such an awesome dude and all, and besides, kissing through a mask doesn’t count. Lirio thinks she was rather overaffectionate, considering she just met him. Mari says she’s heard so much about him from others. Javier offers to cover his eyes so they can smooch some more. Mari is totally flustered and tries to leave, but Lirio stops her and holds her hands. Does she like him? Mari says she was just really excited to finally meet him, because Vicky is so in love with him, and especially after what happened… “After what?” Mari flashbacks to Love Shack, Braille Edition, but tells him she means the way he saved Javi. Lirio says Mari is so pretty and sweet, she probably has a novio or husband, anyway. “No, I’m single,” Mari says. “Oh, REALLY?” Oh, wait, she remembers that she is married. “You forgot you have a husband?” Mari suddenly remembers she has something really important to do somewhere else.
Snakemobile: Malicio drives, Ilitia cries and protests. Mau tells her the whole family will be together now, but the brat had better be a boy; he doesn’t want a girl. “Since when do you want kids?” Malicio says his biological alarm clock is ringing. Funny, it sounds like a death toll to me.
Hospital men’s room: El Lirio locks the door and unmasks. Emanuel remembers his convos with Netty, when she gave him lavish hints about Mari and Vicky.
Hospital corridor: Consuelo and Mari discuss Javier’s miracle save and how awesome El Lirio is. Eman sees them and hides around a corner. He hears Mari say “I’m so confused, I’m so attracted to him, when I see him I just want to kiss him…” Eman pops out and asks her who she wants to be snoozling.
Agency break room: Doris dashes out the back door when she hears Andre and Jackie approach, fighting as usual. Jackie wants to move in with Andre. He yells that he’s been very clear that he’ll be her friend and support her through the medical issues, but he doesn’t love her and they will not be a couple. “Because you’re in love with Doris?” “Well, yes. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with her.” Jackie storms out. Doris comes in, excited that he really loves her. Hugs. Andre says he really is, which is why he’s going to stay away from her.
Hospital corridor: Eman snuggles against Mari, teasing her about cheating on Jorge. She says he’s hardly one to talk, married to Ilitia and telling the whole world in court that he’s Vicky’s lover. He clarifies that he said in love, not lover. Mari says he thinks all the ladies are after him, but she’s happily married and Vicky is in love with someone else. “Who?” Mari won’t tell. Eman wonders how happy her marriage can be, since Jorge cheated on her with Vicky. In fact, he thinks the whole marriage is fake.
Home office: Emiliano gives Fedra the divorce papers. Special bonus offer, if she signs now, she gets every last centavo he has. Fedra plays along and says he must be really desperate to be rid of her, to be so generous. She takes the pen and scrawls across the paper. Emil can hardly believe his luck. And for good reason; he looks and sees that she wrote “Fedra estuve aqui” (Fedra was here), with a frowny face after. She says she’s not an idiot. She knows he gave everything to Netty.
Hospital corridor: Mari tells Eman he’s wrong. Jorge was super remorseful, she forgave him, and now their marriage is better than ever. Eman says he’s going to find out all her secrets. Maybe check and find out whether the marriage is actually registered. She tells him not to be such a busybody. Why does he care? He grabs her braids and says she doesn’t look at Jorge with love, the way she looks at him. Eman goes for a kiss. Denied.
Home office: Fedra tears up the divorce papers. Emil tells her she’s not stealing more money from the family. He’s getting the divorce whether she signs or not. Fedra says she doesn’t negotiate with poor people, so he’ll have to send Netty over to talk. Fedra rabidly rages that she’ll get all the money, including the change in his pockets and Netty’s pensión, too.
Hospital corridor: Mari denies she’s in love with Emanuel. He pins her against the wall and nuzzles and sexy-talks. Mari says she’s fed up with this. He says he is, too – the lies, the disguises, having to hide in order to love. Doesn’t she feel the same way? He aims to kiss her, but she faints.
Mau’s Snakepit: Kristel practices her sexiest strut in the bedroom, and preps for seduction. Candles, check. Lingerie that will give him a heart attack, check. (We wish.) She hears Ilitia yelling from the parlor. “Let me go! Don’t hurt me!” “You know you want it!” “Leave me alone! You creep! Don’t make me lose the baby!” Mau pushes Ilitia onto the sofa and etc. and says he’s going to have his way with her. After all, they belong together, especially now that they’re expecting a baby. “It is NOT your baby! I’m two months along, and you raped me on my wedding day way before that!” Kristel has heard enough. She joins them, business end of Mau’s gun leading the way, and threatens to shoot him.
Hospital corridor: Eman can’t wake Mari and calls for help. Doris runs up and shoves him away and won’t let anyone but a doctor touch her.
Mansión de Mucho Misery: Fedra’s drinking and insulting Emil’s poverty. He calls the servants and tells them to throw out all Fedra’s stuff; she’s leaving today. Fedra cackles and tells them to throw out HIS stuff, because HE’s leaving today. She says he may have fooled everyone else into thinking he’s somebody, but she’s always known he’s a nobody, and soon Netty will realize that as well. She’ll find he’s no great shakes in the sack (the staff looks scandalized), and she’ll take up with one of her many suitors, and he’ll never be any the wiser because he never knows when he’s being cheated on.
Fedra refuses to leave, and says she’s going to bring Low over here for their rolls in the moldy hay. Emil calls her a ramera. She throws her drink in his face and smashes the glass. Emil slaps her so hard she crashes into the piano. Wait, that piano makes sound? I thought Fedra had the strings removed so Axel couldn’t play it.
Hospital exam room: Doc Arnaldo checks Mari and asks Doris what’s up with the fat suit. Doris explains it all. Arne agrees to keep the secret.
Snakepit: Kristel says she was a fool to love Mau and believe his lies. It is OVER. He is going to regret being a rapey snake. He says the two of them will be the ones to regret this. He tries to sweet-talk Kristel but she brandishes the gun and says a few people will hear about this…Emanuel, Emiliano, Lorenzo. “Brandon,” Ilitia offers helpfully. Right. Mau has mil ocho mil enemies, so he’s done for. Kristel and Ilitia take the gun and leave the canalla.
Hospital: Mari’s awake. Doris tells her the secret was nearly discovered. Mari says she fainted because the fat suit is so hot. Doris wants to wait for the medical report to be sure it’s nothing else. Mari says she was also stressed because Eman wants to investigate her “marriage” with Jorge. Why does he even care? “Because he’s in looooove with you.” “Yes, but also with Victoria. It’s so confusing.” “Well, you’re also in love with two guys.” MV swoons over El Lirio de Plata.
House of Hostility: Emil tells Fedra she’s not threatening him or the kids anymore. Fed calls Bernardo and pouts for him to defend her. Bring it, says Emil. Benigno rushes in with a rifle and orders Fedra and her loyal shiprat to walk the plank. Paula and Nereida bring the suitcases down and Emil tells them to throw them in the street. Eying the rifle and Emil’s rage, Bernie decides they should leave. Fedra menaces that she’s going to get the money and the house in exchange for Emiliano’s freedom.
Hospital: Doris fills MV in on the Andre gossip, yawn. Mari advises her to fight for Andre. Mari, you are a terrible friend. Doris says he said that he loves her, which is why he’s leaving her. Mari says that’s noble, since he can’t offer the life Doris deserves (sing it, sister). But Doris LOVES him and wants to be with him. Doc Arnaldo fortunately breaks this up and tells Mari she’s pregnant. ¡¿QUÉ?!
Episode 189. Turnabout is fair play.
Still at the hospital: Doris and Marianela are both shocked. Doc A congratulates Mari and hopes it’s good news. He leaves. “I’m going to have a child!” “Of a THIEF!” “Of the man I love!” “Who is México’s Most Wanted!” “El hombre de mi vida!” “Who, if he’s caught, will spend the rest of his life in prison!” MV is just dizzy at the thought of having a child with El Lirio. I wonder what the baby’s secret identity will be.
Hospital waiting room: Eman asks the doc about Mari. Doc Arnaldo tells him it’s nothing serious, just a little low blood pressure. Eman persists and Doc distracts him by asking how he’s recovered from the gunshot wound. Eman reminds him that’s a secret. “Right, and I can keep secrets.”
Exam room: Doris wonders how MV will tell Lirio about the baby. Mari says she doesn’t know how to reach him, he just appears, and she gets blindfolded and they go somewhere but she doesn’t know where. Doris seems to find this a bit creepy. Also, she thinks the masked duo had the wrong end covered—haven’t they heard of condoms? Too late for that, says MV. But don’t tell Netty.
Dollhouse: Kristel begs Ilitia for forgiveness. Delete everything. Ilitia forgives her and thanks her for saving her from snakebite. Kristel beats herself up for being such an idiot. Ilitia graciously tells her not to be so hard on herself. Mau is super manipulative. She’s just glad Kristel finally discovered how awful he is.
Foxhole: Emil is huddled like a kid in the principal’s office, explaining why he was fighting. We’ve already heard it all. He tells Max that Fedra wants to bring Lowrenzo to live here. Max says he’s never trusted that lowlife, and he made Max’s dear Muñeca suffer more than anyone. Emil says at least they’re divorced now, and Muñeca got the kids and even all the money. Fedra is making things difficult, though. But Emil will find a way to get rid of her and leave her centavoless.
Low’s blechelor pad: Lowlife plays with Cristián and tells him soon he will get custody and they’ll be together all the time. Fedra shows up with her lip still bloody and tells him she was expelled. He says what’s his is her. She immediately claims the whiskey. Then she notices Cris and is not happy. Low soothes her and says they’ll be married, so of course she can live there. Fedra calls in Bernardo. Low is not happy about the package deal.
Dollhouse: Kristel asks Ilitia to forgive her jealousy and her…ahem…tumbles with Ilitia’s papi. Il thinks that’s maybe too much. Kristel tries to explain how it was. Ilitia really doesn’t want to hear it. Just promise it won’t happen again, not even in your imagination. Kristel even crosses her heart. Kristel says she was on such a rampage, she was even going after gay guys like Oliver. Ilitia is delighted at that hot gossip.
Blech pad: Low says No Dogs Allowed. Fedra says Bernardo is staying. Nereida comes in with the suitcases, crying at her masters’ downfall. She doesn’t think she should go back to the big house; Emil will just fire her. Bernardo tells her to stay with them and she can help with Cris. Nereida says okay, but she charges more for kids. Steam is coming out Low’s ears.
Dollhouse: Kristel sobs that she’ll be alone forever. Ilitia has everything—husband, career, kid on the way. Ilitia offers to help Kristel with a life makeover.
Blech pad: Low rages. He says Emil should just have a convenient accident. Fedra says the problem is that Netty has all the money, so they’ll have to negotiate with her and make her buy Emil’s freedom. But Netty is NOT getting Fedra’s leftovers. Once the dinero is handed over, KABOOM!, buh-bye.
Javi’s room: Eman remarks to Mari that if she hadn’t left, they’d probably be married and maybe have a child. Jorge walks in and snarks that Eman would probably have multiple kids, different mothers. Eman tells him that when he told Mari he was going to investigate the veracity of their marriage, she turned all pale. “Oh, look! Now you look exactly the same as she did!”
Hospital corridor: Jorge tells Mari he’s going to hop on the first flight to Madrid and arrange fake evidence before Eman can catch up. He asks her not to do anything crazy while he’s gone (I don’t know why she would stop now). He knows she’s been sneaking out at night, and hopes she’s not hooking up with Eman. MV swears she’s not; she’s just working on a project with Doris.
Waiting room: Eman daydreams about the Love Shack, and then about kissing Marianela. (Wake up, little hamster.) Mari walks in and he’s all over her. She says he’s in love with Vicky and should leave her (Mari) alone. He says it’s her fault he’s in love with Vic; she sent her to the agency where she’d be around him all the time with easy access to bewitch him. But he’s still in love with Mari. “You’re a jerk.” “Yes, I am, but I’m honest.” He tries to kiss her. Brandon interferes.
Big house: Emil asks Paula and Benigno to arrange a special dinner and gather the family. They thank him for ousting the viper.
Waiting room: Eman tells Brandon to stay out of it. Mari tells them to stop the pissing contest. They decline.
Pensión: Gladiola and Netty are all dressed up, waiting for Emiliano to pick them up for dinner. The doorbell rings. Netty answers and is choked by a rabid harpy.
Andre’s place: Andre arrives at home and Doris is there with a nice dinner out. Hugs.
Pensión: Fedra chokes Netty and insults her while Gladiola stands by. Fortunately JM swashbuckles in to save the day. He tells Fedra he plans to marry Netty.
Mansión living room: Delicia tells Mari she’s sure she passed the admission exam. Mari’s glad she’s realizing her potential. Gretel says something weird is going on in the house, and no one will say what. They’re supposed to have a special dinner. Mari hopes it won’t last too long. Vicky needs to be at the pensión later for a rendezvous with Lirio. They’re glad she’s having a good time, but Gretel feels bad for Emanuel. He’s so in love with MariVicky. Mari says she’s fed up with him. He’s married and expecting a baby, yet still chasing both Mari and Vicky! And now he’s looking into the fake marriage! They wonder if Mari still loves him. She says no; she’s completely in love with El Lirio, and she needs to see him soon because she has something important to tell him.
Pensión: Netty’s lines, Fedra’s lines, ad infinitum.
Mansion garden: Benigno tells Eman the news is big, but he’s forbidden to say anything. Eman says he’s got a secret of his own. He knows hot info about Marianela. For starters, she is not married. Also, Netty gave him some clues: that Eman adopted a disguise, and Mari is not so different from him. Plus, isn’t it weird that he loves Mari and Vicky exactly the same? (Has the little hamster hit cruising speed?) Benigno is confused. Eman giggles that it’s time for a little revenge, hee hee hee.
Andre’s: Doris and Andre have a dinner that would be romantic if you didn’t know he’s a skanky jerk. She loves him and wants to be together. He thinks she deserves better. For once, Andre and I are in agreement. She gives him tickets for their romantic getaway. They’re leaving in three hours.
Bedroom: Ilitia gets dressed for dinner, and Kristel gives her a helpful critique: getting a bit pudgy in the belly, and not enough in the bubis. But don’t worry; it happens in the best families. Ilitia shuts her up to talk about something more important. Eman disappears every night and doesn’t return until morning, and Jorge says Mari does the same thing. Obvio, they’re LOVERS, says Kristel. She thinks Ilitia should follow their lead and have some fun. Ilitia says she can’t take chances, since Kristel already put the idea in Eman’s head that Ilitia is in love with Brandon. Ilitia swears she has nothing going with him, so Kristel has to convince Eman that it was a lie and Ilitia is the most loyal wife ever.
Living room: Gretel and Delicia want to know what the big news is. Mari says she has to talk to Lirio first. It’s major and will change their whole lives. She’s going to fight for him. Gretel points out she doesn’t even know who he is. Delicia thinks Emanuel is getting very suspicious and may know the truth. Mari is sure he doesn’t.
Garden: Eman gleefully tells Benigno he’s going to make Mari fall madly in love with him again, and Vicky fall madly in love with El Lirio. Benigno is adamantly against this two-timing deceit. Eman tells himself it was mean of MV to make him think he was in love with two women, and she’s going to find out how it feels. He is going to make them CRAZY.
Avances: Kristel tells Gretel that Oliver’s cheating on her with Manolo. Gretel and Oliver say that actually, they are all having a threesome; they’re very modern. This looks like a scene not to miss. Emanuel asks Oliver whether Brandon is knocking boots with Ilitia.
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