Caray, Caray!

Maria hides the fake preggo belly that's meant to hide her real preggo belly that has miraculously sprouted overnight since the writers realized that they'd forgotten that one small detail ("Pregnant women's bellies are supposed to get bigger as the pregnancy goes along? Are you sure? Have someone look it up on Wikipedia. Seriously? Damn…I guess we'd better have her start shoving a couch cushion under all her shirts.") Alonso surprises her and compliments her girth. He announces he's been hired as a photographer…a backup one ("de segunda mesa"), that is, as a favor for his buddy Oscar. Maria D confesses that she's feeling really nervous, but Alonso says he's got everything all ready and when her nerves get the better of her, she should just look at him and he'll buck her up. As they're hugging it out, Ximena comes in and gives Maria a hard time for picking up her leftovers. Alonso explains that Ximena aborted his baby. They start fighting about it, then Ximena threatens to get Maria fired and leaves. Alonso tells her not to let Xi manipulate her. "You're better than she is, and you'll show it on the runway!"

Fer has finished having Cruz's huevos rancheros (not a euphemism). Fer asks about her parents getting divorced. Cruz says that Xi is like a "cuchillito de palo" (cuchillito = little cuchillo, little knife; de palo = of wood)…it won't cut, but it sure does scrape at you! He insists it's not true and that what Xi said is BS. Her parents were already having problems. Fer says she was behaving rather "majadera" (stupidly) and that didn't help. Cruz said now she has time to make an effort and fix things. And he has a plan, but she's got to stick to it. Fer shakes on it and promises.

Milagros confesses to Napo that she got invited to the opera by the professor. And fell asleep. And snored. But thankfully, the Italian woke her up. Ja. Ja. Ja.

Vic tells Toni that she wants revenge on Os. Maybe by having an affair. But then she realizes she's more a mother than a woman. Toni asks what would happen if a hottie showed up. "You are divorced, after all." Vic says the kids come first. "The kids will have their own lives and they'll survive." Toni doesn't think she can date Gui after what he did to Os. The lawyers have already filed suit and if they prove Gui did it, he'll go to jail.

Xi whines to Gui over the phone. She wants him to make Vic look guilty (of Linda's murder, I assume).

Napo is going to party with the Jarochas. Blah, blah, blah. The come up in traditional dresses…hey! I had a similar costume when I did Ballet Folklorico in 7th grade. I keep pestering my dad to scan the picture for me. Oh, sorry, they were conversing. I don't care what they said. Mili is jealous, whatever.

Max comes into the runway room. Dude time. Max is all "Dude, what the hell are you doing here?" Alonso is all, "Dude, I'm taking pictures, DUH!" Oscar is all, "Max, dude, what's the problem? Alonso is a friend of mine. We couldn't get another dude to take pictures. What's your damage?" Max is all, "And did they tell you who you're taking pictures of?" Alonso is all, "Yeah, man, Maria Desamparada and your WIFE." *raspberry* Max asks for a minute alone with Alonso…dude style. The room clears from the testosterone fumes. Max is all, "Dude, when are you going to stop going after my dudette?" Alonso is all, "Dude, you're, like, MARRIED!" Max is all, "Yeah, but I don't love her, DUH! I just knocked her up is all." Alonso is all, "Yeah, I heard that from MARIA, my FRIEND, so save your breath." Max is all, "Whatever, dude, but what you don't know is that I luuuuurve Maria and once my baby is born and I divorce my baby mama, me and Maria are gonna get MARRIED. So there!" Alonso is all, "Well, right now Maria and I are both single and we can get it on if we want to. But we're just friends, so it's all good." Max is all, "Dude, I'm not buying the whole 'friends' thing, cause I know you've got the hots for her!" Alonso is all, "Dude, hypothetical, let's say I am in love with her…she's got the hots for you even though she knows she can never have you. If you really love her, leave her alone and let me shag her! Nothing says love like some Alonso lovin'!" Max is all, "Dude, let me explain…I love her and I can't live without her, got it?" Alonso is all, "Yeah, I get it. I used to love a chick like that, but now I hate her." Max is all, "Nice trick! How'd you do it?" Ximena comes in and is all "Dude, how long are you gonna keep me hangin?" Alonso turns around and realizes Ximena is "the wife." He's all "DAY-UM" nonverbally.

Gui calls Bernarda to make her an offer. She realizes whoever proposed it must be the one who really killed Linda. Gui gets snippy, but she tells him to cool it. She's interested, and they need to meet to finalize details. Gui says he'll call her later.

Max introduces Xi to Alonso, but Lon says he already knows her. Xi tries to act like they must have met professionally and LON PLAYS ALONG. Dumbass. He goes to get his stuff ready. Max thinks the two of them must not get along. Xi starts whining about the long wait. Her shrieks bring Mama Rox running. Rox tells her to calm down, have a little walk, feed Maxito, and they'll come back later. Oscar and Toni catch the very tail end of the drama and put on their confused faces.

The barrio crew are anxious that Maria isn't home yet and hasn't called either. JP is also worried because no one is at his mom's house.

Maria admires her pregnant belly in the mirror. Max comes into the dressing room and she gets weepy. They hug. Max says he can't live without her. Maria agrees, but says that's the way it is. Max doesn't care about fate, he cares about her. Smoochies. Come on, how stupid is he? He's gotta feel that the belly isn't fake! He tells her he would have given anything for her to be expecting his baby. He asks to touch the belly, but she says it's not really a belly, it's just a pillow. Max wants to cop a feel anyway and pretend it's his kid. "Can you imagine it! A child of ours! Half you and half me, calling you 'mom' and me 'dad'…hey! It moved!" Yeah, it did. But Maria says that's crazy talk. Max makes his confused thinky face and Maria looks sad and guilty. I swear, if the next thing out of her mouth is that it's a battery-powered fake-kicking belly…I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty.

She insists it's a pillow and Max figures he must be going crazy. Maria says it makes her nervous to have him so close and she got all shaky, that's all. More smoochies. What. An. Idiot.

Nathy struggles with the laundry and Alacran helps her. She starts hanging the laundry to dry while he gets a good look at her ass.

Ximena comes down the catwalk and Pip praises her. Vic hopes Xi wears her favorite dress next. It's a surprise, though. Maria comes in and walks. Vic says that's the one she was thinking of. She designed it thinking of Fer. Bernie says it's too bad Fer can never wear it, since she can't even walk. "And your other daughter…don't you think of her? Have you resigned yourself to never seeing her again?" "As much as you've resigned yourself to Juan Pablo leaving the priesthood," Vic fires back and walks away. Alonso takes pictures while Max looks grumpy. Bernarda looks around at all the glances shooting around the room and thought bubbles that Max is jealous of Alonso. Looks like Alonso just got a promotion.

JuanJo finishes up an anti-drug talk to the Barrio Boyz. JuanJo and Napo unveil their campaign posters…

"Hazte adicto…" (Get addicted…)

"al deporte" (to sports)

Domingo likes it. JuanJo proposes they start a fútbal team and get into the tournament with teams from other barrios. JuanJo will coach, Napo will be captain and goalie. JuanJo sends them to recruit more team members.

Maria and Ximena are in the dressing room together. Maria bitches Xi out for taking pills that will hurt the baby. Xi needles her about being jealous that Max is with Xi and she's dying to tell him she's pregnant. "You won't do it, though, cause you don't have the guts!" Maria says she's doing it for Xi's baby, so Max doesn't abandon it. "If you keep taking those pills, I'll tell him everything!" "If Max leaves me for you, I'll kill myself!" Alonso is listening at the door. Maria is shocked at Xi for threatening to kill herself while she's pregnant. "If you tell Max you're expecting his baby, I'll carry out my threat!" Lon comes in and says it wouldn't be the first time Xi has harmed a baby. She's used to doing anything to satisfy her whims. "Because I'm used to winning!" She repeats her threat. "My death and the death of this child will be on your conscience!"

Max and Fabian talk about Alonso being around. Max loves Maria, he's jealous of Alonso, and Xi is going to be a lousy mother. Max will divorce her and take the baby away. He wishes Maria were having his baby instead.

Maria and Alonso chat about what a great job she did. Bernarda asks to speak to her. "See! It wasn't so difficult. You looked as great as always!" Maria is thankful that Bernarda is trying to protect her. Bernie says the last argument they had was meaningless, that's why she brought her back to be the star model of this house. Maria says it's too dicey--Max was about to find out the truth. She's never coming back again. Bernarda tells her not to be ungrateful. "Please forgive me, but I have good reasons not to take you up on your offer. Excuse me." Bernarda says Maria is just as "soberbia" (haughty) as she is and just as "torpe" (dense) and "testaruda" (stubborn) as her mother.

Alonso walks Maria out to his jeep, but she wants to stop and talk to Fausto for a minute. He apologizes for lying to her, but it was on Bernarda's orders. She understands and says he's a good man. He denies it, but Maria says, "I've noticed that you worry about me and try to protect me. And I'm grateful for that." Fausto says her words have filled his soul and no one like her has ever noticed him before. He says he'll protect her, even if it costs him his life. "If one day, the opportunity arises, you'll see I'm not lying." Maria excuses herself and says they'll talk more later. She thanks him again and reminds him he's a good man. Fausto thought bubbles that he's not a good man.

Alonso and Maria talk about why she can't tell Max that she's pregnant with his baby. Alonso realizes she loves him enough to sacrifice herself for him, and for Ximena's baby. Maria isn't willing to stick around and see if Xi follows through on her threat. She really wants to run away. Alonso offers his place outside DF for her to stay in.

Xi whines to Max that he doesn't love her and doesn't spend time with her and that he needs to love her and the baby can feel the lack of love. "I stopped the pills and the booze and now it's your turn." Max says they'll go out to dinner tonight. She's gotta pick the place and make the reservations. Xi gets all excited and says she'll make reservations at some little place they used to go to. She scampers away happily. And what have we learned from this little scene, kids? Whining gets results. Xi is dumb enough to be bought off by dinners, and telling her to make the reservations buys you at least five whine-free minutes. Possibly sending her to buy herself a new dress would get you another hour of peace. And most importantly…never have sex blindfolded! It doesn't lead to anything good. At best, you're sure to stub your toe, and that kind of pain doesn't go away any easier than the pain of being shackled to Ximena for life.

JP has brought Maria a basket of fruits and veggies, for her health and the health of his grandchild. Um…in a manner of speaking. Maria isn't put off and declares him the official grandfather of her child. She tells him what Bernarda had her doing all day. That Bernie is now the majority share holder of Casa Victoria (and she bought the shares with what money, after whining all the time that she doesn't have any cash?). JP wants to talk to her immediately, but Maria tells him that Lon wants her to go model for a print ad for cosmetics. JP isn't sure what to say--Alonso is a good guy, but they don't know him that well. Maria tells him that she's convinced she's over the whole love thing. JP laughs. "You're young yet. You don't know what life has in store for you." He's sure Maria, the baby, and he will form the family she's always wanted. Maria says she's never been able to call anyone by those names you call the people you share blood with. And she doesn't mean "jerkface" and "butthead," but "brother" "sister" etc.

Maria brings JP to the studio and tells Alonso that she can pose if JP is there. He's fine with it and introduces her to the stylists. Alonso notices that JP looks uncomfortable. JP admits that now that he sees the studio and how well organized it is, he can see that Lon is serious. Alonso says he knows how he comes off at first glance and he understands. Lon starts to explain the campaign for Lovely Cosmetics. It will all be close-ups of her face and the pregnancy will give her that glow. Like a visual Eau de Protagonista, if you will.

Fer invited Fabian over to apologize. She realizes she was very rude to him. Fab tells her to chill. The important thing is for her to do her therapy. "You know I love you. I'm not asking you to return my love, I just want you to accept my help." Fer agrees.

Maria is all ready for the photo shoot. Alonso applauds the stylists and gets to work. JP looks on like a proud papa. He interrupts to ask if Alonso will take a picture of the two of them together. Alonoso is only too happy.

The outro of William Levy's personal hygiene PSA now has a voiceover of him saying "Don't go away…we'll be back." That was kinda creepy. If you're gonna do that with the shower scene, at least make it a little huskier and less matter-of-fact!

The photo session continues. It occurs to me that even if Fer can't be a runway model until her therapy and multiple painful operations show results, she can do print ads with Maria and they can bond before they find out they're sisters. Just saying. The photo session ends and Lon gets to developing, old-school. "Even though you're so alone, with so many problems, you still want to have your child. All that courage and all that beauty! You deserve an homage. I'm going to surprise you."

Fab stretches Fer's leg while she looks on warily. Cruz comes climbing in the window with a rose and falls when he sees Fabian. Fer grins.

JP loves his new family portrait. Padre Geronimo is happy for him. JP is so glad he'll be around to see the miracle of birth, etc. He says the kid won't lack for the love and protection of a father. He tells Padre G that he just found out his crazy mama bought controlling shares in Casa Vic and he's gonna find out why.

Bernie says she did it to protect Maria, and so he'll go back to the priesthood. JP says he'll take the P back when his grandchild is born. Bernie says since she can't count on him for anything, she also bought the company as a retirement investment. She takes her leave since she has some *ahem* responsibilities to attend to (subtext: unlike some people who have shirked on their duties of praying for my decrepit soul!).

Os talks to his team of lawyers about Gui's fraud. They tell him they'll take care of it.

Bernie visits Gui. She wants to put the plan in motion quickly to stop Vic from investigating something that happened in the past. She's not worried, because there's no proof, but she doesn't like it that an "arribista" (social climber) like Victoria "me esté pisando los talones" (stepping on my heels; is hot on my heels). Gui promises to take care of it ASAP. Bernie says she's got to go back to the office, because she's got a lot of work to do. She came over just for that? Fausto and Gui have a stare-down before Fausto walks out.

Max returns a call to his PI. She found out the picture was taken not at a private school, but a school run by nuns which tells them that she was never adopted. She knows that the school closed down and the nuns came to the DF. "So my sister might be living in DF?" Dude, don't start calling her that. Things are weird enough as it is.

Cue Max and Maria running into each other outside the orphanage. Hm. Not as effective as the kayak, for my money.

Tomorrow: Maria and Alonso are having dinner at the same place as Max and Xi; Max hears that Maria's having his baby; Alonso claims the baby as his (oh, come on, how are you gonna explain that?).

Labels: triunfo