Caray, Caray!

I'm glad I got to see chato get sprayed with the hose in the recap... he brought new meaning to the term tirar perros, as the lines he uses on the maids are some real dogs.

Melly and Temo plan to steal Abeja's puppies to spare them from "sacrifice" (maybe Pina is a closet satanist).

At the scene of the inept carjackers, Pancho yells at his "hija," la burra, to get out of there (the carjackers have a van dangling above her). Negotiations with the crooks aren't going so well, but then Candy shows up. She brings her massive resources into play to distract and enchant the crooks into dropping the guns. Meanwhile Pancho gets in the truck and prepares to make his exit. The bumbling fools are so enchanted by their "aztec princess" that they don't realize they didn't get the money till Lopez & co. make their exit and the cops show up.

Abeja's puppies appear to be at least the size of their parents. Temo hides them under the table while Melly faces off with Pina (Pina and Melly are my favorite pair on the show). Things are getting tense when a dog barks, and Pina is about to look under the table when Ado limps in, sobbing. As if only noticing now, Pina remarks that this is a house of locos.

Chela, in a hot dress and heels, has trouble setting aside the apron. She tells herself that the habit doesn't make the nun, and no ill will come of this. Candi bursts in, sees the flowers, and snatches the notes. She explodes with glee when she finds that she was right about Transeti! They can't help but discuss his muscles, and Candi tries to insert the idea that she can seduce.

Elena has decided to be a villain with no motivation other than self-pity. She's also not a very effective villain.

Pancho, looking forwards to some "alone time" with Rebe, has another moment of consultation with Laurita's photo. He confesses that he's nervous about what he's about to do. He thanks her for a second chance at love. The candle flares, which he takes as a sign of permission.

Ana, grossly, thanks Arnold for the kissing lessons. Gushes about Freddy. After she leaves, he reveals that he's IN LOVE WITH HER EEWWWW.

Pancho shows up at Rebe's in a suit, with roses and a mushy note. She says he smells delicious. He pulls out a cd and it's the theme song! Anyway, they have a fancy meal (where'd the waiter come from?).

Melly has rescued the pups from cruella. They're at Pancho's and Ana is about to leave for exfoliation when Freddy shows up.

Moni is hanging out on the street at night, discussing how weird shit has become, when an overdressed, over-made-up lady shows up and, bizarrely, immediately recognizes her as "mija." Craaazy alert. She could just as easily be some random crazy, but Moni "has a feeling." The lady suddenly disappears, and the friend begins to doubt MONI'S sanity.

Pancho and Rebe are just getting down to business when the doorbell rings. Pancho: "don't tell me you ordered pizza..." It's Arnold, with news about Ana. Pancho walks in with his shirt half off to yell at him for interrupting. Then he has a little jealous fit at Rebe for her supposed past with Arnold.

Freddy sees the pups and threatens to tell Pina, but Melly holds her ground and blackmails him (threatening to tell Pina that her nene is dating a Lopez).

Pina answers the phone, "hola, mansion irabien," because "desaparicion" isn't there. Yuyi calls from the opera and wants to talk to melly, but she's not there.

Freddy shows up at the Lopez' to apologize to Pepe, which he actually does kind of nicely. Pepe accepts, which must have seemed like a waste of potential drama to the writers

Pina calls for Ado, who lacks her normal enthusiasm. She's lovesick for Pancho's fat chauvinist friend, and Pina is weirdly sweet, admitting that Ado is like her only friend.

But Pina says Chato is a fool with the boots nose. Why is Ado this way about such a jerk?

Uh-oh, transeti calls to "locate Chela." Chela is doing her Avon work at a friend's house. The friend says she looks radiant, with a very special light in her eyes. "but, you haven't had more signals from above?"

Pancho and Rebe are back to smooching but still won't hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. How long can they drag this out?

Chela just about jumps out of her pants with rage when Transeti shows up with chocolates. She still remembers when he tried to kick them out of their home: "don't forget that I don't forget." She won't let him give her a ride home, despite the lightning.

Enter a new and wildly random subplot: a strange, half-naked, tattooed lady (who appears to be the freaky-dancing singer of theme song) in the rain, running in terror with dripping makeup. Meanwhile, Pancho, struggling with a tire on the Burra in the rain, surely wishes he'd stayed in with his hot girlfriend. He sees this bizarre apparition get hit by a car and rushes to her aid.

Pancho takes her to a sketchy doctor buddy of his (who is quite a sight in his undershirt and stethoscope. He applies the eeg sensors, and that's all for part 1 of tonight's show.

Labels: familia