Caray, Caray!

All:

My apologies for the poor editing and grammatical errors. Putting this up at this time of night I find that my editing skills are non-existent.

Have fun with the Mad-Libs concept!

EJ
 

That.was.awesome. Srsly. Hilarious, quick to read and all "plot" lines covered.

I did have some questions last night. Please forgive me if this has been covered before and my dumb a$$ missed it:

* Do Tracy and Sarita know each other? Their convo in the avocado field seemed to indicate that.

* Why is the Sherilyn Fenn look-alike madame assuring Troll Doris will not be found out? I assumed last night when he was salivating over "Katherine" that he had no clue Do-ris was a Ho-ris. Does the yerna have another secret no one told us about?

* Why the hell do people fall in love so fast on TNs. Armando shares great juice ('cause seriously, he said something about the juice at the hotel) and a kiss with Fabi and suddenly he's in lerve? Same goes for Pibby and Cam. 3 minute montage o' kissin' and it's a lifetime commitment.

If I may continue...

This is how the check convo sounded to me.
E-Check. What check?

P-The check I sent you. I sent you a check.

E-Why are you saying you sent a check? I never got a check. Wouldn't you notice a check hadn't been cashed.

P-But I promise I sent a check. Didn't you get the check?

E-I didn't get the check. Heeeey, you're lying about the check. 'Cause dude, I didn't get the check.

P-I'm telling you I sent the check. Are you sure? I mailed a check.

How many times did they say check? I wish they would repeat other, more interesting words as often. THat would really help my vocab.

BTW--I'm sure it's already been discussed but I felt the need to look up woodchuck: marmota. It's often used in Latin America to mean idiots. Indeed. Here's a link:

http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=856000
 

Sara:
Thanks! I have exactly the same questions and many more.

The Tracy and Sarita argument/discussion re Perfect Pedro's virtues came out of nowhere.

Dor-is was a Ho-ris! I love that Sara. That whole thing appeared out of thin air for me. It makes the Troll even more disgusting if he already knew of Doris' escapades. It also doesn't make sense.
 

EJ - your Mad Lib Re-Cap is worthy of full regalia! Those choices are a hoot to visualize, like Camila throws her raisins around the room. What a mind you have, Amiga!

Why, oh why, didn't Pedro just spit out "I married her to protect her from the Negretes because she was pregnant with Antonio's baby"?

Could Madam's deep, dark secret be the paternity suspicion we have regarding Fabiola? That would be a "dirty trick"... har har har... that Pig could have played on Tony.

Sara - too funny about the woodchuck/marmota/idiot relationship.

Renato's friend forgot to put on the pants to go with that pretty shirt she was wearing.

Rosemary la Otra
 

So many giggles, Elna June -- almost as many as the episode itself provided! Thank you so much.

I'm convinced that with the introduction of Meester Renato, the "writers" stepped out of melodrama and entered the territory of intentional farce. No one can be that funny without really trying.

We know Julieta Rosen has a weakness for guys with eyeliner (René Casados, anyone?) so she is sure to be LOW-HANGING FRUIT for Meester R.

My take on the Troll's secret -- he doesn't know Dor-is is A Hor-is (of course, of course) but Mme Brigitte knows Dor-is was THE TROLL's HOR-IS when only Antonio was supposed to be in the saddle. Hence the taller F-sister's impressive brows. (Pure speculation on my part.)

Overall, a night of romance, well-suited for the St. Valentine's Day massac.. um, episode.

I was, however, disappointed when the P man failed to hoist Camila over his shoulder in the parking lot. Ah well, tomorrow is another day.
 

R la O - yeah talk about micro mini.
NM- of course of course!

PS I'm in the corner trying to hide the fact that I'm on my iPhone reading snark. My students are suspicious due to my chortles of glee.
 

And what if we've all been looking in the wrong direction for Superheroes and Spiritual Leaders?

What if, in this extraordinarily culturally sensitive novela, "El Tallisman" is a wise old rabbi who sets everyone on the path to virtue?
 

Omigosh! YES Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote.
 

ándale pues, Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote and his magical tallis --

(And great opportunity for product placement -- Tal*Mart will be hard-pressed to keep up with the demand for its line of Judaica).
 

Whole new meaning for Talis-man, no?
 

Elna June, I just *knew* you would have something scathingly brilliant up your sleeve for your recap. I love love LOVE your mad-libs concept. Way to engage the audience, amiga!

Do-ris the Ho-ris, ha ha haaaa! Of course of course, snort! You folks are way too funny this morning. First EJ's riotous recap and now your comments.

R la O, "Renato's friend forgot to put on the pants to go with that pretty shirt she was wearing." My thoughts exactly.

Sara, thanks for looking up the meaning of marmota. I don't recall knowing its meaning before. See, who says these shows aren't educational? I'm so glad we have a bona fide educator in our little study group. We're not just a bunch of marmotas, we're learnin' Spanish!

Hey, when y'all mentioned Rabbi Jacob were you thinking of this:The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob? It's one of my favorite movies of all time. The plot, ridiculous as it is, makes a heck of a lot more sense than the (guacamole, bull#*&t, plot*) of El Talismán.
 

LOL Sara! Talis-Man! We could also bring back CME's gossiping Padre S as he plays the town yente so well.

I rewound and noticed the guyliner on Renato! What are the odds for Julieta to get 2 in a row?

Tracy had a funny line with "I know, I know, everybody loves Pedro", but it sounded to me like Sarita kinda has the hots for Pedro. Tracy warned her to be careful of him and that he is two faced "doble cara".

R la O
 

why, oh why, when we say we laughed our a$$ off, it NEVER comes off?? It certainly came close, or is it just closer to the floor? EJ, you hit it out of the park. I chortled through the entire recap - and the comments, y'all. Thanks for a wonderful (snortfest, laugh, raisin)
 

a rabbi, a priest and a... (minister, avocado, woodchuck)
 

Emilia - you are so (belt buckle, funny, rooster butt feather)!

Sylvia - I just ordered the Rabbi Jacob DVD from the library.
 

R la O, I hope you like it. It is very 70's but quite funny if you like that sort of slapstick/French farce humor. I love Louis De Funès.

By the way, was it one of you who recommended Tina Fey's "Bossy Pants" to me? I just checked it out and it's superb.

What? I haven't had a Word Verification in days and just got one: defecte. This telenovela is muy defecte.
 

Thanks, Elna Jung! The multiple choices are hilarious!

Why did I notice this? Young Armando's right eyebrow appears to extend halfway across the bridge of his nose, carrying on the "unibrow" theme. And I thought it was mostly Turks who were so afflicted.

Seriously, I'm real naive and have to ask: do some guys really use eye liner? Not talking about Johnny Depp in the pirate movies, but Real Studly Guys like Meester Renato? Or Rene Casados?

So, so fed up already w/ the Pedro y Camila thing. Wish he'd get wise and go after Genoveva and save himself some unnecessary drama. Mariana? Pff... get her declared missing and presumed dead. Cold? Yep, but it would all bring an early end to this rotten rag.

Vivi, can you warn Jarocha about this one and not to waste her time.

And I still see the hand of Hugo Chavez, trying to torment nos otros.
 

Oh gawd. I am a Bona fide edumacator? Heaven help us.
 

Love love love the MAD LIBS. Busy day so just read those but they were hysterically funny. Thanks EJ.
 

I'm in awe over the talent of the recaps. This one was fantastic. Makes me feel better after last night when I wanted to scream at the tv, "YOU"RE ALL STUPID!" Sam e arguements. Same idiocy from Camila believing the rapist Eddie Munster over her true love. At least listen to the dumbsh!t Pedro! And what was with those semi-evil glares from Elvira? They were just funny, not threatening. It's like the stabbing, poisoning, and getting shot from Fina over on CMA really did a number on her acting ability. Gagorio kicking out Camilla after he ALREADY DID. She knows. She's trying to pack. And what was Doris thinking, painting her nails AFTER putting rollers in her hair? How's she going to get those out now?

Sorry. I'm giving in to repetitive nature of the show by repeating that they are IMBECILES. Roberta from CME could have all these estupidos destroyed within a week. Except Genoveva of course. She's a freakin' Einstein compared to everyone else.

Kelly
 

Wow, you all are the very most (Talismaniacal, hilarious, ab-tastic). Thanks so much, Elna June. I love the (format, avocados, money).

Much as I love to hate Evilra the marmota and her fangs, she did have a really good point. HOW could Pedro never notice whether a check that size cleared?

I can appreciate a relaxed, laid-back attitude as much as the next slacker, but Pedro needs to learn that there's a time a place to get it in gear. One of those times might be when your wife has gone missing. Perhaps you should actually look for her with real effort and intent, not just call your detective once a month to find out whether she's wandered into his office yet. Another of those times might be when you have something really important to tell the love of your life. He could have explained the entire Mariana situation in fewer words than he used with all his "It's not what you think! We have to talk! Please listen to me!" Ugh. That is one of my least favorite telenovela cliches; it's even worse than amnesia.

I did get a kick out of Antonio all but grabbing popcorn to enjoy the show while our "heroes" fought in his room. Then they yell at him to stay out of it...while they continue to fight in HIS room! Antonio seemed to really enjoy being roughly manhandled by Pedro. Maybe he's barking up the wrong avocado tree going after Camila.

Random aside: A couple weeks ago I went to a ballet production of Don Quixote. The dancer playing a prominent fencer dude looked JUST LIKE Antonio in tights and sparkles, I swear. So now when I see Antonio in his leotard-like shirts I imagine him doing leaps and twirls. I find this highly amusing.
 

Julia- I had the same thoughts in regards to popcorn! I kept yelling at the tv "get out of Antonios room!" (which was #9 but across the hall from #3?" Am I the only one who found that screwy?
 

How in the world, how in the WORLD do you keep coming up with funnier and funnier stuff? Mad Libs, indeed. I had to take several breaks to get ahold of myself so the students don't think I'm having a psychotic break in here.

My impressions: I don't think Madame Brigitte said anything to Gag about Doris, just about "his secrets" being safe with her. Except they're not, apparently -- at least not unless he pays her off. And I think Armando got all googly-eyed over Teenybrow *before* he knew she was Gag's nieta.

Looks like we can at least hope La Marmota will get the check soon -- Meester Renato said he was going to take it to her. What do you want to bet when she sees those dollar-signs she decides that Pedro is a good catch after all? Maybe she'll find and knock off Mariana herself.
 

Julia - I think if it's a cashier's check, you don't know if it has "cleared" because the money was already spent buying the cashier's check. So that money was out of Pedro and Mariana's account the day they were at the bank getting the cashier's check.

Word ver: ghwag, like a cross between Gawd and Gag
 

Okay, follow-up question then. If you were sending someone a check for that much money, why would you just stick it in the regular mail? Why wouldn't you require a signature and delivery confirmation? Even if someone else signed for it, at least that would get across the message that This Is Really Important. I know, I know...then we would have no plot*.
 

EJ this is recap gold. Both happy nostalgia for Mad-Libs and hilarious assistance to writers how have limited ability.

My one pseudo-serious question is with the talent that is on-board here how can this TN be so bad (but then I think TdA).

Thank also NM and Cyderella for your great caps. I got behind on reading your gems.
 

Julia - you know you are using WAY too much logic for the check mishap. Poor Pete has proven over and over again he has rocks for brains so signature/delivery confirmation is beyond him.
 

I hear ya, Julia. I recently closed my nanny agency after 22 years, and would you believe TWICE families sent me $1,800 CASH in the mail from NY to Utah? Cash!!
 

EJ, my favorite choices were, (shut-up, stuff a sock in it, zip the lip) for obvious reasons, hee, and (walk and chew gum at the same time, explain the whole crazy situation, talk) because I think Pedro can NOT walk and chew gum at the same time.

Ironically enough it was Gagorio who said the most sensible thing last night when he told Fabiola to get out of her ridiculous high heels. When she and LooKrazy were standing next to each other I thought they were both going to tip over.

That whole plot* about the missing checkie has so many holes in it I don't even try to wrap my head around it. I would go nuts trying to inject any sort of logic into it.

R la O, I just read your comment about sending cash. Do you suppose one of those people is now writing scripts for Venevision?
 

Hey, speaking of Fabiola's high heels, we forgot to mention Telenovela Cliche #963: HEART MEDICATION. Anvil time, Gregorio!
 

Good Morning Talismaniacs:

You all are an absolute scream. Who wouldn't want to write (for, with) such a clever and appreciative group of cohorts. And, thanks to Sara, I have a new vocab "arrow in my quiver" as Blue Lass might say—'marmota'. That word is a gem, and I am sure it will get a real workout in my thoughts and speech.

Sara: My take on the Madam whispering to Gregorio stuff: Madam Bridgitte (sp???)knows that Doris had a child with the Troll, Fabiola based on the eyebrow casting. She is beginning her blackmail plot by letting Gregorio know that SHE knows that Fabi is the Troll's daughter with Dor-is the Ho-ris. (This pun is EVEN funnier, Sara, when you add the idea of the "houris", those eternally pure and beautiful maidens who are said to populate paradise. Please forgive my poor taste and humor if this pun offends anyone.)

NovelaMaven and Sara: Your riff on El Tallis-man being a wise old rabbi had me on the floor. That was SO funny!

R la O:On the missing pants...I only do that in dreams, LOL, amiga. Also, you received $1800. in the mail, not once but twice? And those same people had reproduced?

EJ
 

Dear Sylvia:

So glad you enjoyed the Mad Libs. Really, a recapper has to do something to honor and entertain the kind people who continue to follow this idiotic drivel (El Tal).

Short rant:Skip if you are troubled by strong opinions...

ITA with all the questions and comments asked by Sara, Julia, JudyB, Emilia, Mike, Kelly, Blue Lass and Karen. So great to hang out with such a delightful bunch of humans.

So, after a late night recapping, I am inclined to believe Mike and other Caray, Caray conspiracy theorists—El Tal is part of a Hugo Chavez COMMUNIST PLOT, sent via Venevision, to randomly torture good and innocent(LOL!) Gringos. JAJAJAJAJA.....

EJ
 

Maybe the Troll's secret no tiene nada que ver con Douris the Houris -- maybe Mme Brigitte knows something about the Strange Disappearance of Mrs. Pig ... bwhahahaha!
 

BTW, I've heard rumors that Sr Chavez makes a cameo appearance in every Venevision production (à la Alfred Hitchcock). Keep your eyes peeled, amigos!
 

Maybe Mme Brigitte IS Mrs. Pig!
 

What fun this morning, Elna June. Stimulating mind games... excellent.

I'm beginning to feel sorry for poor Pedro. More and more he appears baffled as to how he fits into the big picture here. It cracks me up how he keeps bringing up a couple of kisses. No wonder Antonio can't seem to keep a straight face.

Has Armando ever mentioned any aspirations? This guy seems the embodiment of uselessness.

I keep hoping that this TN will eventually find its way to some degree of coherence. At the very least I want to find out what is going on with Mariana these days.

Carlos
 

Ooh, such fun speculations!!!

NMaven, "Sr Chavez makes a cameo appearance in every Venevision production (à la Alfred Hitchcock)." ¿En serio? Or are you just pulling our (avocados, trotters, raisins)?
 

Elna June: I have to say that this was stupendous. You are such a talented writer! Kudos for another marvelous recap.

I just love your style - smart and sassy "(claptrap, drivel, bulls#!#)" had me laughing out loud.

I'm so happy you are recapping - you continue to set the bar higher with each episode!

Diana
 

MM and Julia - I like the Mrs. Pig thread. That could actually get interesting.

We'll have to keep our eyes peeled for Hugo but I wonder if he passed given his cancer battle. Maybe we should look for Sean Penn who may have stood in for him?
 

That was a really cool thing to do. I liked it.
 

Maybe Brigitte was Mrs. Pig, and she was sick of being married to Pig and started a brothel, and he agreed to let her fake her (death, departure from town, straitjacketing by nice young men in clean white coats) and assume a new identity in exchange for her not revealing he fathered one of his "grandchildren" and assorted other crimes.

Just how old are Fabiola and Florencia supposed to be, anyway? They've got ADULT men after them and the only problem anyone has with this is that the DEFINITELY INTO ADULTHOOD men aren't rich and klassy enough, yet we're supposed to believe that Antonio and Doris are their parents?! I know they said the knocking up/marriage happened quite young, but HOW YOUNG? 13?
 

By "passed" I meant he may have passed on a cameo in The Greatest Story Ever Told, not that he passed away. That's how rumors get started, so I'm told.
 

EJ--You saved my life! My VHS recorded an hour of grey screen last night. Didn't push the right buttons. Thank you, thank you for the EXCELLENT recap. I didn't miss anything critical that I couldn't have imagined myself...and it was fun to insert the preferred selection (although, you know perfectly well, that in almost all cases, all three fit).

Yeah, what else is new--Mariana is still missing. And, now we know for sure Pedro never looked at Mariana's bank account. He admits it? Who, tell me, who is looking after her financial affairs while she's MIA?

If this were Mexico, he'd be the dueño of all her money and possessions--and presumably would have married her for her money in the first place. Ah Pedro--wake up, please?
Anita

My word ver. is: wolomops--something we can buy at Tal*Mart and use to clean up this messy telenovela.
 

Carlos, I particularly liked this conversation:

Elvira: We're throwing our hand in with Antonio.

Armando: Antonio? ANTONIO?

Elvira: Or perhaps you'd like to go earn some money yourself.

Armando: Antonio it is!
 

Julia, I have been snickering all afternoon thinking about your description of Antonio as ballet dancer. I can just see him, leaping onto the stage, belt buckle glowing, codpiece stuffed with (gym socks, avocados, raisins) ((rooster-butt feathers??)) spangled and oily, chewing up the scenery......
 

Julia:
Quick, send the Mrs. Pig REAL storyline to Televisa Studios. Maybe they still have time to engage their weary viewers if they film your version!

Carlos and Blue Lass, "Armando, the embodiment of uselessness," and, Armando, "Antonio it is.!" LOL!

EJ
 

I think I shall now start picturing all scenes in Talismad ballet-style, instead. I wish I had a brain recorder so I could share the choreography.
 

Emilia - Did you mean... Stuffed with gym socks to make his raisins resemble avocados?
 

Speakin' of Armando, I remember a Dragnet episode where a young man about Armando's age was arrested "for being in danger of leading an idle or dissolute life."

Cuidado, Armando! You may come to the attention of the authorities. Well, maybe not as long as you stay in Fresno.
 

Antonio it is! How funny. I missed that.

Good memory, Mike! Dragnet, what a time warp.
 

Mike, I can't decide if your mind is crammed full of stuff like Fibber McGee's closet or a library with a computerized catalog system. Whatever it is you always seem to be able to pull out those memories at the most appropriate time.

Julia, I'm sure none of us will ever look at Antonio the same way again.

"Stuffed with gym socks to make his raisins resemble avocados?" Oh my!! This just keeps getting better and better.
 

Sylvia, Mike's full of it alright! Let's just settle on Fibber McGee's computer, shall we?
 

Actually, he's very smart, sweet, kind, (put down my skillet, Mike!) gentle.....
 

Emilia, how did you let dear, sweet (and did I mention genius) Mike get a hold of your skillet???
 

somebody's gotta do some cookin' round here!
Besides, he can be such a sneaky Pete. But he's MY sneaky Pete and miles better than poor dense Pedro.
 

R La O and Sylvia:
Wiping my eyes from laugh-crying.

"Stuffed with gym socks to make his raisins resemble avocados?" Oh my!! This just keeps getting better and better."

You two have a talent for making what is plainly naughty sound as wholesome as California Cheese. Such a gift!

EJ
 

Rosemary, I was just summarizing the conversation between Elvira and Armando. I'm sure it was actually 5,000 words longer.

I did get a new phrase last night, though: "buscando un as bajo la manga" = "pulling an ace from his sleeve."
 

Blue Lass, I like that! I hadn't heard it before nor had I noticed during the show. Antonio also used a phrase that I've heard before and really like. He told Elvira to "Pongase las pilas". Ponerse las pilas = get your act together, get going (lit. put on the batteries).
 

"Put in your batteries"! Love it.
 

That's it. I'm outta here. Clearly, it's Ladies Night. Y'all have fun with your avocados and batteries. Hasta luego.
 

I must be (perverted, sick, stupid) but I kind of liked Fabi and Armando. They at least look a little closer in age to me.
 

What's funny is that the actor who plays Armando is the same age as the actor who plays Antonio -- in other words, Fabiola is dishin' on a guy her Dad's age. (I'm sure between takes they all run back to their trailers and put on their beanies.)
 

Maybe they are close in age. It would help if we got any information about Armando. Do we have any idea how old he is? Perhaps he is barely out of high school. Initially I had the idea that the girls were around 13/14ish, but if they're older than that, maybe FabArms aren't such a terrible idea...aside from the fact that he is useless.
 

I think the girls are supposed to be at least 16, because mention has been made of their getting their driver's licenses.
 

The sad thing is Armando has been useless since day 1. At least Unibrow on LQNPA had a purpose at the beginning...even if it was making a whopper of a mistake so Ana could save his sorry a$$. Now he's just dead weight and stupid.
 

I would've put Armando at 18-20 when they left Fresno 4 years ago, but maybe he was meant to be in high school, so he's 20ish now? He still shouldn't be dating a 16 year old, but that's probably not relevant given everything else going on.

Kelly
 

"...but that's probably not relevant given everything else going on."
---
I kind of find everything on this show irrelevant. I'm just here for the snark. lol