Caray, Caray!

The TangeloHo crouches in a stall – perfectly camouflaged in the horse dung – while Alfonsina sniffs. Rosendo reeks of perfume. And she knows whose it is! Hah! She’ll never give him a divorce. He’ll never be free to marry Estefanía.

Rosie says there IS no other woman. It’s their marriage that has gone belly-up. And it’s their son who is paying the price. Imagine. A little boy buying magical amulets, thinking he can repair their irreparably hellish relationship.

(At least Rosie is wearing his boy’s gift. Inside the hacienda, little Damián is saddened to see his mother’s amulet carelessly set aside.)

They should divorce for their son’s sake, says Rosendo.

(On hearing this, Carmina smirks, almost betraying her presence by the blinding flash of overwhitened teeth.)

Rosendo will have to kill Alfie first – she will not be the laughing stock of the pueblo!

As soon as Alfie stalks off, up pops the Sleazel™. “I told you she’s nuts” says the dirty TangeloHo (Well she’s been in the stable muck. What do you expect?). “There’s no point trying to talk to her.” Rosendo is convinced. Carmina can go home and pack and they will leave the next day.

Two and a half women of virtue

Estefanía tells doña Blanca she’s sad her sister is leaving La Ermita. Blanca reminds her that Carmina isn’t a small-town kind of girl. And Steffie isn’t exactly alone – she has her family, Augusto and Elisa.

Right on cue, adorable Elisa bursts in, hugs Blanca, and asks permission to try on the new dress Blanca has made for her.

One self-dramatizing egotist and her victim

Alfie has taken refuge in her room. She hyperventilates, she fumes, she bites off the maid’s head. (No, my dears, not literally. That would be another kind of drama. On another network.). She sobs.

Rosendo proceeds with his plans:

He asks Lucio to take charge of the Hot Sauce plant in his absence – they’ll sign a formal paper in the morning. Lucio accepts. But he knows that Gabino Mendoza won’t like it. And he also knows that Rosendo is involved in something very unsavoury: ¡Ay muchacho, sabrá Dios en que lios andas metido!(God only knows what kind of mess you're mixed up in.)

Casa Castañon

When Blanca has gone, Elisa notices her mommy’s eyes are red, as if she has been crying. Steffie explains that she’s sad about Tía Carmina going away. Elisa wonders why she has no sibs, but then reflects that she is lucky to have her pals. Stef insists, with uncharacteristic insensitivity, that a friend’s love isn’t the same as a sister’s. Fortunately, our little heroine seems too grounded to start feeling sorry for her onlychildness. Or maybe she, like the viewer, is thinking that her mommy would have been lucky to be an only.

Hacienda Arango

Damián finds Alfie flat on the floor of her room. “She looks dead!” cries the horrified child. He hollers for help.

Casa Castañon

While Alfie is playing possum (also known as TrauMatizaKid) in the big house, in their more modest casa, Lolita and Elisa are making a cake to cheer up Steffie.

Stef sees Carmina packing her bags. When she tries to talk her out of leaving, poor Stef gets an earful of Carm’s angry, mendacious “I have to get away from Rosendo right now!”

The Doctor Makes House Calls

New character alert: Doctor Edmundo Tovar (Alexis Ayala)

Dr. Tovar reassures Rosie and Damián that Alfie is going to be fine – just let her rest a while.

Rosendo takes Tovar aside. Alfie has had low blood pressure for a long time but she never fainted before. Could this be serious? Not to worry, says the doc. She’s just really anxious. Keep her meds handy and stay close to her.

Alfie stands straight and tall in her room. Is she straining to hear the conversation? When Rosendo’s steps approach, she scoots under the covers and reprises the role of invalid. She felt she was going to die, she tells him, when he talked of divorce.

She reminds him of all the years, all the difficult fertility treatments she endured, just to give him a child; and how risky her pregnancy was because of her age. And now, after all she suffered to give him his precious son, he is talking about abandoning her?

Cue to the precious son entering with a message for dad. Elisa’s father wants to see him. Alfie holds Damián hostage until Rosendo comes back to her sick bed.

This doc sounds like a bit of a yenta. He has spread the word of Alfie’s attack of the vapours and now Augusto wants to know how she is. “Lo mismo de siempre” (same old same old) says Rosendo -- though the fainting bit did scare him for a moment.

Augusto is worried about his friend and invites him to take him into his confidence. Rosendo will only say that he understands that his family depends on him and he can’t take any risks with their stability. Then he adds ominously: You’re like a brother to me – always remember that, whatever may happen.

Dr. Tovar when he’s at home ... is none other than the spouse of Begoña, the snooty metiche who was so quick to believe the worst about Steffie. The doc not only blabs to Begoña about his visita de domicilio (house call) but offers his opinion that Alfie’s faint was emotional blackmail, an obvious cry for attention. Begoña is miffed – why Alfie would never! The poor thing. Everyone knows that Rosendo is messing around with Estefanía Bouvier. Doc pooh-poohs the rumor: ¿En qué cabeza cabe semejante estupidez? (How could you think such a thing? In what head does such a stupid thing fit?)

At the dinner table, Lucio worries aloud about Rosendo. Blanca reassures him: If his concern is Carmina, well breathe easy. Stef told her Carmina is leaving town.

Hmmm. Curiously, Rosendo told Lucio he’s leaving town too. And he’s not sure when he’s coming back.

HERE’S THE FREAKY PART WHERE EVERYTHING TURNS ORANGE

Casa Castañon

Augusto is greeted by the TangeloHo in a tangerine peignoir. Her sister will miss her, he tells her, and he will too. He doesn’t think she should leave. (Why the blazes not, Mr. Mixed Messages?) He loves her like a sister. Ooooh. Carmina doesn’t want to hear that.

Now Elisa enters and watches silently as a real horror flick unfolds.

Carmina – with her leather-colored face and wild, stringy hair reminding one of a shrunken head early along in the shrinking process – decides to let ‘er rip. “I love you” she tells her cuñado. “I’ve loved you as long as I have known you. You are the love of my life.”

Look away Elisa! Oh no! Too late. Orangina pulls Augie onto her face. Elisa drops her doll. The adults turn to her. Elisa looks her father in the eye and says: “I saw you kiss her on the mouth.”

Carmina blathers about it being a goodbye, brotherly kind of kiss but Elisa knows what she saw and heard. She runs away. Augie follows. He wants to keep her from telling her mom about this scene

Elisa, apparently smarter than either of her parents, just wants the Tangerine One to leave – even if her mom is sad about it. Augie repeats that his wife and daughter are the two loves of his life.

Carmina is still lurking, waiting for Augie – they have to talk. But he turns away from her. He wants her gone! Now leather face is tear-stained and distorted by the pain of his rejection.

Wearing a white towel on her head and a white terrycloth robe, Steffie herself is looking a bit orange, as if, in a spontaneous gesture of sisterly solidarity, she has just stepped out of the spray tan booth. She’d like Carmina to postpone her trip until the weekend so they can drive her to Mérida. Nooooooooooo says Augie. Let her go. Oh and don’t go into Elisa’s room to kiss her goodnight – she’s already asleep.

Paloma sets out for La Ermita with her basket of pan dulce and a cage of “recovered” birds for Elisa. Ramona has errands to run and will see her granddaughter at home later.

Begoña, in a sickroom visit to Alfie, hints that Alfie faked her “attack” as a way to solve her Rosie problem. What Rosie problem? asks Alfie. By the way, you know that blue house near the cenote ...

...Well. Begoña has heard that someone bought it although it looks unlived in. Maybe it’s a place to .... er ... wink wink ... you know...

Begoña leers but Alfie looks like she’s eaten some bad huitlacoche.

A bright cloud of orange fills the screen. It’s Rosendo’s shirt. He rides up to the TangeloHo, herself in an orangina sundress. Her bags are packed and she is ready, freddie! She doesn’t take kindly to Rosie’s story about Alfie’s vapours and the discussion gets kind of heated ...

Remember, children... you are never alone in a telenovela. There is always someone to overhear you. And so it is that Ramona is driving her horse-drawn cart past this very spot at this very moment and gets an earful ...

“I can’t believe you’re stupid enough to fall for her blackmail” screeches Carmina Burra. She’s not waiting, not even a few days. It’s now or he’ll never see her again! (Pick door number two, for the love of God!)

Elsewhere in the countryside, a figure on horseback rides smartly up to the famous blue house. It’s Alfie! Looking in the pink! (Didn’t she get the memo about orange?) When a domestic comes out the door, Alfie learns that Gabino Mendoza hired her. But the woman can’t say who actually lives there.

Rosendo has, unfortunately, opted for door number one. When he gets to the procesadora, he informs Gabino that his plans “siguen en pie” (are continuing as planned). Gabino has the plane tickets and hotel reservations. Should he charge the costs to the business? Of course not, Rosendo tells him, just throw away that statement from the travel agency.

Oh and by the way, he’s leaving don Lucio in charge. Gabino doesn’t like that? Well he can turn in his resignation – to don Lucio.

Elisa, despite her bright red-orange dress, is in a funk. She confides to her mother that she wants tía Orangina to leave. Why? Well ...

Hey! Paloma’s here! And she has a cage of lively, healthy birds. Why are there four when the kids only left three with Ramona? Um. Paloma thinks fast – the fourth is a gift, like the doll Elisa gave her!

Paloma has her pan dulce to sell and Elisa accompanies her. Steff is left behind, a bit disconcerted by what her daughter has just said about tía.

It’s Lolita’s afternoon off. She noticed that Carm’s bags are still in her room so she must be coming back to the house. Would Steffie say goodbye for her? (Actually, Lolita’s skirt is sort of orangey too.)

Carmina makes one final run at Augusto, this time in his office. She can’t help the way she feels – yes, she’s crazy! Crazy in love with him.

But Augie has finally decided to stop with the mixed signals. He tells her: “You can’t stay in my house. I won’t allow my wife to suffer.”

“One day”, says Orangina, “you’ll see that my sister is no better than I am; and then, I swear, you’ll be sorry you humiliated me.”

Rosendo in his giant orange shirt is greeted at home with splendid news: Alfie is feeling better so she went out to get some fresh air. He rushes to pack his bags.

Alfie has followed the trail of the blue house straight to Gabino’s office. She riffles through the papers on his desk and finds ... the travel agency invoice showing charges for a flight out of Mérida that very evening and reservations at a hotel in New York!

Gabino walks in on this scene and sees his chance to get even with the boss. When Alfie interrogates him, he admits, with a show of reluctance, that his boss is traveling with a woman. But he denies knowing who the woman is.

That’s okay. Alfie can fill in the blanks. He’s leaving with that damned Estefanía Bouvier. (She really is maldita, pobrecita.)

They’re leaving at nine, adds Gabino helpfully.

Once Hurricane Alfonsina has stormed out, greasy güero Gabino grins:

¡Vamos a ver de qué cuero hay más correas Rosendo! (Let’s see who comes out ahead, R! /Let’s see which leather makes more straps)

Damián catches orange-shirted Rosendo, suitcase in hand, (cuz really, it would be hard to miss him) and asks innocently if they are going on vacation. Rosie says no, it’s just a boring work thing. And then he says goodbye to his son so emotionally that all of us just know they will never see each other again: “Quiero que sepas que te quiero con toda mi alma” (I want you to know that I love you with all my heart.)

Damián runs after his father and cries out: ¡No te vayas! The two exchange stricken looks. Rosendo gets in his car and drives off.

Elisa comes along eager to show her friend the birds Paloma brought them. But he can’t share her pleasure. He tells her:

Mi papá se fue y nunca lo voy a volver a ver. Se fue para siempre. (My father left and I’m never gonna see him again. He’s gone forever.)

She sits beside him on the front step of the huge hacienda and puts her arms around him to comfort him.

Hurricane Alfie touches down in Augie’s office. “We have to stop them!” Augusto looks at her uncomprehendingly. “Rosendo and Estefanía are running away together! We have to stop them!”

Avances: Estefanía locks Carmina in her room. Rain. Night. A fiery crash. Aquí cambia todo.

Labels: abismo

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