Caray, Caray!

Part One: Fists of Fury

Ana and her manager talk about the promotion of her CD. Suddenly the music wells up and Alejandra Guzmán comes in, singing "Un Día de Suerte."

There's something terribly wrong with her voice. And she's lost some weight. And her microphone appears to be a whisk from the kitchen drawer. I'm starting to think that's not Alejandra Guzmán! Is it an escapee from Parodiando? Worse! It's Goya!

Ana is mortified. Her manager is angry. Goya wants to know when she can go to his office and sign a contract. She offers to do another number for them. The manager yells at Ana, not appreciating the joke, and storms out. Goya cries and says she just wanted a chance. Don't domestic workers deserve a chance? Ana tries to cheer her up and says she did great.

At the prison, Pancho's lawyer is only able to get one visitor pass to see Tomás. Pancho thinks Lupita's the best choice to cheer him up and let him know they won't leave him. Pepe thanks Pancho. "I admire you more every day, jefe." He winces. Pancho doesn't notice.

Tom is grateful to see Lupita. She asks him for the truth. (They sit together at a table, their hands touching. A guard raps the table and says "no touching! This isn't a hotel!") Tom asks her not to tell anyone what he's about to say. She swears she won't. He admits that he didn't kill Cristián; he confessed to the crime to keep his sister out of prison. Cris was already dead when Tomás got there. Lupe thinks Elena killed the guy because he wouldn't give her a car! (Lupita sure is getting cynical in her old age!) Tom isn't so sure - why would Elena kill the hen/goose/idiot that lays the golden eggs? In any case, he won't let her take the blame for this. He's taken care of her since they were orphans. Lupe says Elena would never do something like this for him. That doesn't matter to Tom. He reminds her not to tell anyone.

And visiting time is up. Lupita leaves. Tom curses himself for having been such a lousy boyfriend to her.

Pancho asks the lawyer to help Tom. The lawyer says they're going to have to find out who the real murderer is, because with a signed confession from Tom, the authorities aren't going to investigate any more. They're going to need very good evidence.

Lupe rejoins her family. Pepe asks what she found out. Why did Tom confess? Lupe says he couldn't tell her anything, but it hurts her to see how much pain he's in. Pancho, who has failed to notice that Pepe is cradling his injured hand in a really obvious way, seems to sense that something's wrong with Lupita.

Moni and Enzo are at the hospital. Moni is crying again. Enzo says Violeta is stable now that they've pumped her stomach a couple of times. Moni thinks it's her fault. Enzo says this isn't the first time her mother's hurt herself; she's sick, they can't help her. She needs professional help.

Lidia calls to see how Enzo and his babymama are doing. Hmm. I don't like this. Moni asks who she is. He explains that it's about work, and "she's a very attractive woman, if that's what you're asking."

At home, Lupita won't tell Pancho what Tom said. "All I can say is that he's innocent."

Tomás makes friends in the lunchroom. The little guy says they're gonna call him Alex (ouch, ouch, ouch), after Alejandro Fernandez, cuz he looks like El Potrillo! (Joke: singer Alejandro Fernandez is nicknamed El Potrillo, i.e. The Colt or The Foal.) He offers to explain the rules of their exclusive social club. Tomás says he's not interested. The big guy slaps him in the head. A skinny guy with a beard says he's the Gargoyle, he's the boss of this place and the first rule here is to respect him. Nothing happens here without his authority. "And if not?" Tom asks. The big guy punches him in the stomach.

Rule number two is that Tom will need to pay money for protection. It's like healthcare insurance. "I don't have any money," answers Tom. (He is a slow learner.) Wrong answer! The big guy punches him in the side. Tom fall to the floor.

Rule three is that the Gargoyle gets a piece of any action that goes down. Also, it's time for Tom's baptism. Gargoyle throws a glass of punch in Tom's face.

Candy is upset with Vice because he was talking about Pina in his sleep last night. But Vice doesn't know that. "If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to tell you!" she exclaims. They fight some more and he leaves.

Napoleón's goonette visits Vice's detective, Jiménez, and brings a message on Nap's behalf: if he values his life and those of the people around him, he'd better back off. He'll only get this one warning. If he messes with Napoleon, he'll cease to exist. She casually kicks her foot up to his chin to let him know that she has great boots. She asks who his client is. He mumbles something about professional ethics; however, wishing to avoid getting a heel-shaped dent in his face, he quickly gives Vice up. (From the look on her face, I think she's planning to enshroud the detective in freshly spun silk and take him down to her lair to feed her hatchlings.)

At the Avon offices, Chacho counsels Chato to get over Adoración and move on, like Chacho did with Chela. Rebe and Mike overhear the two speculating about Pancho going after Chela. Rebe is unhappy. Mike smirks.

Chacho brings a Pancho doll to Sandy. Vice interrupts. (Chacho waves the doll's hand at Vice.) Vice insults Chacho's humble background and asks what he has to offer someone like Sandy. Chacho has a great answer: he's a nice guy and he's not married! HA!! And love.

Jiménez shows up, so Vice throws out another couple of insults and leaves Chacho alone with Sandy. "Did you say LOVE, Chacho?"

In Vice's office, Jiménez nervously tells Vice that he can't continue the Napoleón investigation. He values his life too much. He gives Vice's money back and runs out. Vice calls him a great big fraidycat.

Chela and Candy catch up. No new information, but she does insist to Candy that she only likes Enzo as a friend.

Moni visits her mother's bedside. Without her giant earrings with their mystical, malevolent powers, Violeta is docile and apologetic. At least, that's what I think until she sees Pepe, who is now cradling his entire left arm. Then she gets mean and evil again. So I guess we can't blame the earrings. Drat. I thought I was onto something there. "I hate you, Jose! Get out of here! You're a loser! Go away!" Moni ìs horrified.

Arnold tries to convince Rebe that since Pancho's getting together with Chela, she's better off with Mike. At least he's of her social level. She should give him a chance.

Mike visits Pancho. Pancho gets angry just at the sight of him. It's because of the picture on that magazine cover. Mike offers to put Pancho in touch with the magazine so that he can be on their next cover with Chela. Pancho wants to punch him in the face. Mike calmly says that the only reason he doesn't respond in kind is out of respect for Rebeca. Pancho scoffs, seeing as how he had left Rebeca holding the bag in Miami.

People are gathered in the doorway, watching. Pancho takes off his jacket and wants to fight. Chacho pulls him away. Mike taunts Pancho for needing someone to defend him.

Arnold assures Rebe that when it's true love, you can just feel it, like he feels for Pina. Rebe reminds him that before Pina, it was Ana - and herself before that. Arnold admits that maybe it's possible to make a couple of mistakes along the way. Rebeca says sometimes true love is one-sided. She put up with so much to be with Pancho, and he hasn't done anything in exchange. How ironic, after she finally got his family to accept her. Arnold says maybe Pancho's not the one for her.

Rebeca says that if Pancho's not her true love, then there's no such thing as true love. Arnold tries to persuade her of Mike's awesomeness: she feels something for him, he took the blame for the fraud, and though he, Arnold is not taking sides, he is on HER side, and he thinks Mike is the better choice to make her happy.

Rebeca is unimpressed by all of Arnold's arguments. She admits that she and Pancho had their differences, but they always managed to get past them. Arnold says now those differences are coming back to haunt her. The kids, the sister-in-law, the ostentatious sister. None of that's a problem with Mike. Besides, Arnold says, Mike's stylish Acapulco tan is very attractive. (Bitch please!)

Lupita goes back to Casa Popular to confront Elena. Elena says she didn't kill Cristián; she only asked Tom to help her with the dead guy. It's not her problem Tom let himself got caught. Lupe wants Elena to tell the truth to the police. "Are ya gonna make me?" Lupe says she's capable of anything to prevent an injustice. She takes Elena's elbow. Elena throws her off. "Don't touch me!"

At the hospital, Enzo notices Pepe staring at his bandaged hand and wincing. Enzo asks if it hurts. Pepe insists that it doesn't. (If only he were in a place with convenient access to doctors... OH RIGHT.) Enzo tells Pepe not to take Violeta's attitude to heart. She's jealous of him because she wants Mónica all to herself. Pepe says he knows she's sick, but Enzo is more worried about Moni and the effect that this emotional blackmail is having on her, filling her with guilt.

Violeta is still badmouthing Pepe to her daughter. Moni says that if she doesn't stop, she'll leave. V apologizes. Moni suggests that she consider hospitalization. V panics and turns her guilt-machine on full blast. "Sure, you're sick of me, right? That's why you want to commit me to a manicomio! Don't you love me?"

Lupita tells Elena that if she doesn't go to the police and explain herself, Lupita will do it for her. Elena says good luck with that; Tom already signed a confession. Lupita gets an idea. "Oh! Why didn't I think of that before!" She won't tell Elena what it is. Elena hauls her away from the door and punches her. "Now I know what kind of person you are, and I will never forgive you!" Lupita cries.

Pancho tells the chamigos about his feelings. It's all rehash. Chacho tells Pancho to stop, gather his thoughts, and don't act on impulse. But Pancho says the kids would be happier if he were with Chela, and Rebe could be happy with Mike.

Candy tells Chela that Vice hired a detective to look into Napoleón. She also tells her about Vice talking about Pina in his sleep.

Vice tells Enzo about Napoleón. He hired a couple of goons to protect Candy, but he knows what it's like to be in love with her, so he's sure Napoleón won't give up easily.

They have to cut their conversation short because someone named Débora is here. Vice is nervous. It's Nap's goonette. Enzo excuses himself hurriedly. Deb gets right to the point: "How much money do you want to dump Candy?"

Part Two: The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Vice says there's not enough money. "How much?" Deb insists. "Enough to buy out every share of this company!" Deb doesn't even blink.

Pancho goes home early to check on things. Candy and Chela tell him about Napoleón. That's just what he needs - more worries.

Vice doesn't trust Deb's offer. For one thing, her boss was accused of ripping off a lot of money. ("He was exonerated.") And why doesn't he come to see Vice personally? ("He's not in Mexico.") Vice tells Deb to tell her boss that it'd cost him a lot to get him to dump Candy. "Well, there's one other option," Deb says. Nap has been in love with Candy - obsessed with her - for more than five years. Unfortunately he's been out of the country. ("Fleeing from justice," Vice says.) Deb says he'll be back in Mexico soon. "You didn't tell me the other option!" "I wouldn't recommend it. We'll be in touch."

Arnold runs into Deb on her way out. He likes her. He asks if she's ever been a model. Maybe she'll be Crush #4... or maybe she'll crush him.

Vice tries to call Enzo. Enzo's busy. Vice seems annoyed that his old pal isn't at his beck and call any more.

At the hospital, Moni is clutching Pepe's good hand and crying about her mother. Pepe is assuring her that none of this is her fault. Lupita shows up and they notice a bruise on her face. She tells them it was Elena.

At the prison, Tom and his roommate, El Tanque, wash dishes. Mr. T isn't very chatty, but Tom tries to get him to talk. "What are you in for?" "Homicide." "Me too!" "Let me guess - you're innocent." "Yes, why do you say that - you too?" "Yes, but I've been awaiting trial for three years." Tom is impactado.

Lupita wants to get the record of the phone call between Elena and Tom the morning he was caught, but she still doesn't want to tell Pepe and Moni everything she knows.

Pancho and Candy and Chela are still upset about Napoleón. Ana comes home and assumes they're upset about Tomás. They don't tell her what's going on.

Moni says Lupe wouldn't be breaking her promise to Tom if she told them what she discussed with Elena. Pepe adds that it's more important not to let their friend rot in prison. Finally Lupita tells them that Elena spent the night with Cristián. Elena has shown that she's capable of all kinds of things, but murder? She doesn't think so. (What changed Lupita's mind?)

Now Pepe and Moni speculate that Elena had a poblem with the guy and called Tom to help - so he might have killed the guy in self-defense, or to defend Elena. Exasperated, Lupita agrees to reveal the rest: Cristián was already dead when Elena made the call. Now Pepe thinks it was Elena. Whoever it was, it wasn't Tom. Getting the phone record will help.

Mike wants another date with Rebeca. She says yes. That is not the way to discourage a guy.

Lupe, Pepe, and Moni go to the lawyer and tell him what they know. Yes, a GPS location on the phone record would establish that Elena spent the night with the victim instead of leaving the night before, as she had claimed. So would security camera footage from the hotel. But those wouldn't prove that Tom didn't murder Cristián, especially since he signed a confession. The lawyer will present all their evidence, and they can certainly try to appeal, but the judge is going to hand down Tom's sentence soon.

Temo makes a face at Fernanda for being in love with Dr. Octavio. Fer says there's no special age for love. He ought to know that, since he's in love with Meli. He's sad that she might become an orphan.

Rebeca complains about Mike's elaborate and mysterious preparations for dinner. They're in a Cadillac SUV streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch limo. He says he's so excited about taking her to dinner that he has to make a big deal over it. She doesn't know where they're going. He wants her to be surprised.

He strokes her hair. (Ew! Dude, grow your own damned hair and you can stroke that all you want to!) She flashes back to an elaborate and mysterious picnic that Pancho once prepared for her. She loved this. Champagne in a gas-hog limo with a hair-obsessed orange octopus, not so much.

They arrive at the airport. He's going to fly her to Cancún for a romantic dinner on the beach! She's annoyed. They have lots of work to do. He doesn't get it. They can spend the night and come back in the morning on the private jet that's waiting. If she she doesn't like that plan, no problem: they can go somewhere else, anyplace in the world.

Rebe says she doesn't like cliches, so why don't they just have dinner at some restaurant and get some work done instead of wasting time. She gets back in the car and tells him not to call her "Rebe" and to stay on his own side.

At dinner, Lupita has trouble with a loose tooth. She tells Pancho she fell. Nobody believes her. It comes out that Elena did it. Ana goes flying out the door and hitches a ride with Freddy, who just happens to be passing through. Pancho and Chela follow in La Burra.

On the ride over, Chela says she's worried about Pepe's hand. He agrees to have him see a doctor.

It turns out Enzo didn't answer Vice's call earlier because he was WORKING. On the merger. Enzo doesn't think it's a good idea to keep the secret of Pancho's DNA from Fernanda, but Vice doesn't want him to be president of the merged company. Arnold shows up and wants to ask about the woman in leather.

In La Burra, Pancho tells Chela that the one good thing about all the problems they're having is that they're together. He takes her hand. She is delighted. Blech.

Arnold wants Debora to model for one of their campaigns. Vice doesn't want to talk to him. He's sore at Arnold for taking Pina's side. Arnold suggests they kiss and make up. Enzo likes the idea. Vice agrees to make up, without a kiss, and tells his fellow pesketeers that the woman in leather offered him money to break up with Candy. They make like the Three Wise Monkeys.

Deb reports to Napo-bot. (There's a bust of Original Napoleon on his desk.) She says Vicente will be a tough customer, but she thinks he'll negotiate.

Candy leaves the Lopez dinner table to do her radio show. It's just Fernanda, Lupita, Temo, Moni, and Pepe now. Pepe is sweating and flushed and distracted. The pain is so bad that he is struggling to keep his eyes open. Nobody notices. Fernanda wants to know what's going on with the lawyer and Tomás and everything. Pepe tries to say something, but can only pant and mumble. He insists that nothing is wrong, and tries to leave the dining room, but collapses. NOW they notice!

There's a knock at Elena's door. She doesn't get up when she hears Ana's voice. "We want to talk to you!" Fred says. NOW Elena opens the door! Ana greets her with the sound of one hand clapping - across Elena's face. Before shocked Freddy can react, Ana gives her a kick that sends her rolling over the couch. "Nobody messes with my sister and lives to tell about it!" Pancho and Chela are right behind them. Pancho restrains Ana. Fred, of all people, holds Elena.

Fernanda calls Dr. Octavio for help. She asks Pepe if he can walk. (Well, yes. Because he doesn't walk on his hands!)

Enzo and Arnold are shocked that Vice would consider taking Napoleón up on his offer, but Vice says he could use the money to become owner of the company. "When I'm bad, I'm REALLY bad," he crows. Then he backpedals and says he couldn't do that. He asked to meet with Nap to buy some time, but he doesn't think he'll win.

Pina calls Arnold. He pretends it's some unwanted boyfriend, but lets her know he's with Vice.

Napo-Bot tells Deb he won't tolerate any mistakes. (Whose voice is that? It's driving me crazy!) Then he asks her to demonstrate her ninja skilz. She clears his pencil-cup (full of those stupid green pencils) off the desk with her foot. That's good enough for Nap.

Pancho et al grill Elena. She says she doesn't remember anything. She tells them what little she does remember: it's just what we saw. They had a drink in the bar, then they went up to the room, and got dizzy. They guess that someone might have drugged them, but why?

Dr. Octavio says Pepe has a serious infection. Pepe thinks it might be his hand. (Seriously? NOBODY told the doctor about the hand?) The doctor unwraps it, and it's clear that Pepe has not been following his Concha Cream regimen.

Elena tells Pancho et al all the stuff we already know. She swears she didn't kill him. Ana doesn't believe her at all.

Octavio wants to take Pepe to the hospital. Else he might get sepsis. (Didn't someone here mention a few weeks ago they didn't like Ana saying "sepsy" for "sexy" because it sounded too much like "sepsis"? Well, this ought to break Ana of that habit!)

Elena feels bad about letting Tom take the blame, but if she told the truth they'd put her in jail instead. That sounds good to Ana. Pancho and Chela says they're family and they won't let her go through this alone. Then he gets a call from Lupita about Pepe's hand.

Rebe tells Mike she appreciates him taking the blame for the Miami thing, since it could hurt his career. He says her love is more important to him than his ambition. All the perks and privileges mean nothing compared to his feelings for her. She says that's just how she FELT about Pancho... but it turns out he doesn't love her, he always denied that he was interested in Chela, but it's looking like he's in love with her, and his love for Rebeca was false. Mike says his love for her is real. She says she can't tell her heart what to do; she loves Pancho. Mike tells her not to worry.

Vice has a sweet conversation with Pina, asks about Yuyu and mini-Yuyu, and says when she gets back he'll buy her some clothes and shoes and they'll take Fred and/or Abeja (whichever the "nene" is) to Chapultepec and look at the boats. Enzo notes that Vice sighed after talking to Pina, because he loves her and misses her. Vice mocks and says it's Enzo who misses his Quesadillas (Chela). Enzo takes offense. Vice taunts him with the likelihood that Chela is in Pancho's arms. Not helpful.

Ortíz - Candy's producer - says their ratings are down and they'd better fix that fast or they'll lose sponsors. Just then, Deb walks in. Amazingly, Candy recognizes her voice from that one brief cellphone call. Deb has a gift from Napoleon. She puts it on Candy's desk and leaves. Candy worries it's a bomb. Ortíz goes for Security, or so he says. Maybe he's just running for his life.

Dr. Octavio says that Pepe had a cut on his hand. (Oh, really?) It had been sewn up (so I guess Pepe did see a doctor that night) but Pepe didn't care for it properly and now it's all infected. They're giving him antibiotics now and they cleaned up the hand, but the infection is raging throughout his body. His situation is very grave.

Next time:
Rebe sees Pancho holding Chela.

Labels: familia