Saturday, March 03, 2012
El Talismán #23 Fri 3/2/12 Friday the Rabbi Went Slumming (With Apologies to Harry Kemelman)
At first I was puzzled. Why would they make an episode about nothing? Were they doing tequila shots with Larry David over lunch? Had they been watching too many Seinfeld reruns? And then I got it. They were giving us time to process the explosive events of the evening before.
If Thursday was ham on wry, (and it was), then this Friday is pure spam. Which is unfortunate. Because it is precisely today that Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote joins us for the first time. (Hide the pork products and let’s wrap it up before sundown.)
Popularly known in the valley as the Tallis Man because of his distinctive avocado-colored tallis, or prayer shawl, Rabbi Jacob will comment on the text from time to time when the regular go-to goy, Padre Serafin, is out blessing a Suburu and we need moral guidance fast.
Let’s get started on our trip to nowhere, shall we?
It’s a new day at el tal Talismán
La tal Camila is marking her territory. La tal LuCrazy is mincing around, still wearing the skimpy hospital gown whose pale pink color highlights the bruises on her surly face.
It’s the Pi Man himself who makes the call: Lu gets the guestroom, and Camila will sleep in Pedro’s bedroom.
¡No sean malpensados!
(Get your minds out of the gutter!)
No need to call in the rabbi just yet. Pedro will sleep in Mariana’s bedroom, right next to his own. Tía is handing around the chastity belts.
[Rabbi Jacob: It’s very odd that no one mentions the suicide room. Wasn’t that the master bedroom? Did they seal it off? Or, it’s not, God forbid, “Mariana’s room”? NM: Tonight the writers have forgotten Estegone’s tragic legacy and they expect us to do the same. Rabbi: Mutters under breath: Putzes.]
At AlcaTrash
Gregorio explains (again) that Pancho must watch Gregorio’s back and keep an eye on Antonio and LuCrazier. His reward? When he and Greg are alone – and only then – Pancho can call him daddy.
At The Only Hotel Inn-Fresno™
Armando wants out of El Viral’s scheme to hurt the Negrete girls. He protests the same way he does everything -- feebly, ineffectually. He has a hunch Operation F-Girls will backfire and he’ll be the one who gets effed. Exit Armando. Enter Antonio.
Now Tony pulls El Viral’s strings. He has some work for her:
First, make Camila believe that Pedro killed his wife. And second? Oh, yeah -- he wants daddy dead.
Tracy pops in briefly and unnecessarily tonight. She phones El Tal looking for Panchito. She’s got problems, she tells Domitila.
But unbeknownst to Tracy, Pancho, ever so desperate to please, is still closeted with Pigorio over at AlcaTrash. The Pig says he can’t trust anyone – especially Antonio, now that he knows about his mother’s will. Pancho is hurt. Doesn’t Pigorio trust HIM? Pig makes it clear Pancho will have to earn his trust.
El Viral is sorry she ever got mixed up with Tony and regrets agreeing to poison the Pig’s pills. Can’t they kill him some other way? Nope.
At last, Pancho leaves with a wistful “Hasta luego, Papa” and the Pig is alone in his bullet-pocked office. Not for long though. Doris, particularly drab and sullen this evening, comes in whining about Antonio and his plans to divorce her for la tal Camila.
El Tal
Pedro reminds Camila (again) that he only married Mariana to give her baby his name. When Mariana comes home, her old room will be waiting for her and Pedro will move back into his own bedroom. Even if Camila is still in it. Here he and Camila exchange conspiratorial smiles – oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!
LuCrazierandcrazier slithers and hisses in the background. Camila looks smug. I’m the one Pedro loves, you nasty whoring munchkin!
[Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ...]
Pedro looks at a photo of himself with Mariana and her father. He wonders: ¿Dónde estarás, Mariana? ¿Dónde? (I wonder where Mariana is?)
[NM: Pedro uses the future of probability that often gets translated as “I wonder”. I like to think of it as the “Book of Love Future (♪♪Oh I wonder, wonder, wonder ...♪♪)]
[Rabbi Jacob: Future shmuture. Look for her outside of Fresno, already!]
Pigorio counsels Doris to use her daughters by pitting them against Antonio. [I’m distracted by Doris’s voice. It sounds like it should be in a cartoon. If they dub The Simpsons in Spanish, Doris should play one of Marge’s sisters.]
At California State University Fresno
Flor, momentarily sacada de onda (bummed out) because José seems to have stood her up, brightens when her bespectacled suitor appears. ¿Que onda contigo? (Whassup, dude?), she greets him.
[Rabbi Jacob: What’s with the onda talk?
NM: That’s code for “I’m just a kid.”]
Almost immediately Armando gets a phone call and steps away to talk to ... the other F-sister, Fabi, the one he really likes. Oh this is all too much for Armando. His tiny brain is starting to hurt.
Flor wants to know who called. “My friend, Fabio” he sputters. “¡Qué casualidad!” She has a sister named Fabiola!
At the Hotel, Antonio is still turning the screws on El Viral. Now he peels a few bills from the wad he’s carrying. Something to make her smile he says as he hands her the cash. The catch – she has to convince Camila to leave Pedro.
El Viral is aghast when Antonio tells her Pedro was accused of murdering his wife. He thought she already knew.
[Rabbi Jacob: Didn’t he say that to her earlier this evening?
NM: Yes. Maybe the headband is constricting the blood supply to her brain.]
Anyway, Antonio will get all the old newspaper stories about the trial so El Viral can get to work on Operation Comecocos.
(comecocos = brainwashing, Hombre de Misterio’s gift to El Tal)
More girl talk.
Cami asks LuCrazy:
¿No te cansas de estar de rogona?
(Aren’t you tired of acting like a stalker? rogar: to beg)
You’re the “rogona”, giraffe-girl, snarls Lu.
Here Pedro arrives to escort Camila to “his” bedroom while Tía takes charge of LuCrazier. She shuts the door and Lu and Tía are now alone together in a confined space. Lu’s fake smile fades quickly.
[Rabbi Jacob: Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be a scene right here with the aunt telling off the mean girl? NM: No kidding, Rabbi. Tía’s the one who’s always had LuCrazy’s number.]
Pedro shows Cami his room, the very room she lived in for several days. Four years ago. He has kept it exactly as she left it – a few receipts from Yogurt Fusion, a handful of feathers and a cowgirl belt are now cherished relics -- because it made him feel she was there with him.
Fabiola returns home to AlcaTrash. Alberta gives her the skinny on the Belt Buckle vs the Safe:
Se puso bien canijo el pleito entre Don Gregorio y tu papá.
(The argument between Don G and your dad got pretty bad. canijo: literally small, puny but here it’s almost the opposite – big, nasty. Choose your negative.)
Pfffft. That’s old news to Fabiola.
Alberta adds warily:
A Antonio se le metió el chamuco adentro.
(The devil has taken hold of Antonio.)
The devilish Antonio is right now arranging for a (fake) newspaper story to be (fake?) published. It will make Pedro look guilty and then El Viral can use it to turn Camila against him.
El Viral and Tony are startled by a knock on the door. Surprise! It’s Renato and he has come a-courting. “¿Qué dice la mujer más bella ... “, he begins unctuously. But the sight of the Belt Buckle in full pelvic tilt, dries up his spit for a moment. He bounces back quickly though: “May I ask who the gentleman is?”
[Rabbi Jacob: She’s a good-looking woman but why is she wearing the huge earrings and the stupid headband? NM: It’s a long story, Rabbi. Later.]
Antonio curls his lip.
[Rabbi Jacob: And the schmuck* with the Belt Buckle that ate San Jacinto?]
[NM to reader: *Schmuck is a consummately vulgar Yiddish word meaning, literally, “penis” but used popularly to mean a cross between an “imbécil” and an “infeliz”, ie, a nasty piece of work. Using it here is decidedly unrabbinical and I am starting to doubt my judgment in calling upon Rabbi Jacob for commentary.]
Fabiola doesn’t want to hear any AlcaTrash Talk about her daddy.
But Alberta won’t back down. “If you don’t believe me, look at the bullet holes in the wall of your grandfather’s office!” she says. “Tu papá no es tan bueno como crees.” (Your dad isn’t as good a person as you think.)
Pigorio doesn’t think Doris can turn the girls against Tony. They adore him. But listen. If she’s going to make Tony’s life hell, at least do it intelligently.
Doris defends her intellect staunchly, even pulling out a copy of Elna June’s recent Harlot’s Tale to buttress her claim. “I’m not as dumb as you all think.” She knows how much Antonio loves his daughters. If she turns them against him, he’ll suffer.
Working girls
Geno is showing Sarita some leaves with signs of the plaga. Really? El Tal has the plaga? And if so shouldn’t they be concentrating on it? And not gasping girlishly because Camila is back in the big house? Guess not.
Meanwhile Pedro is telling the boys that because of his big mouth (por bocón), he’ll have to do an Odysseus and the Sirens number. There’s no mast to lash him to, but they’ll have to tie him down to control his animal passions what with Camila right next door to his bedroom. And we all know what a raging beast it is, Pedro’s passion. Yeah.
Back at El Viral’s hotel room, Renato stands, decked in shades of vanilla, holding a single long-stemmed red rose. El V introduces Tony as her daughter’s suitor (pretendiente). Tony toys with El V by telling Renato that her only flaw is that she is a poisoner (una envenenadora) -- she likes to poison her romantic conquests. El V smiles uneasily.
“¿De dónde sacaste eso?” (Where the &*$#* did that come from?) asks Renato, somewhat taken aback.
Answers slick Antonio: She poisons with her charms. And Renato ups the schmaltz when he says he’d love to die poisoned by her charms. “Yup. My dad too” says Tony.
Now El Viral makes it PERFECTLY plain that there’s nothing between her and Pigorio. “You remember, the big doofus at the fiesta? That’s his father.” Renato’s brow clears. He turns to Antonio: So you’re the son of the Pig?
No, says Tony darkly. “The Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle.”
And his parting shot to El Viral:
“Thanks for getting my father’s blood pressure medicine!”
Renato está en la inopia:
(R is clueless – (thanks to Cap’n S for the lovely phrase)
“You got his blood pressure pills?”
The working girls wear latex gloves and have a bunch of test tubes arrayed on a table but all they seem to do is gossip about Camila and Pedro and LuCrazy. Geno hopes Lu’s liver will explode from rage.
[Rabbi Jacob: And may all her teeth fall out except one and may that one give her a toothache.
NM: Rabbi, that’s really inappropriate.
Rabbi Jacob: Oy, sorry, I got carried away. That Geno, she’s a good little actress ...]
Fabiola insists that her father must have fired his gun by accident (sin querer). But if he’s acting weird, it must be because of his new girlfriend, la tal Camila.
Meanwhile, la tal Camila is explaining to her skeptical colleagues – ¡malpensadas! – the details of her chaste sleeping arrangements. Geno and Sarita warn her -- Beware the LuCrazyMonster!
[It is nearly sundown and Rabbi Jacob must leave us. He is clearly shaken by what he has seen today and somewhat ashamed of getting caught in the moment. I fear he may be reluctant to return.]
Hah! LuCrazier’s out of her hospital gown and in tight leather. She’s in full stalker mode, sniffing around Mariana’s room where Pedro will be sleeping. Domitila all but sweeps her out.
Outside, Pedro tells the boys Camila is sleeping in his bedroom. Yuk yuk yuk. “¡No sean malpensados!”
Antonio pulls over his shiny red pick-up and gets a phone update from Lu: Camila is sleeping in Pedro’s bedroom.
“¿Qué? ¡No puede ser!”
Calm down, Antonio – the “writers” are just stuck on this “joke”. Pedro hasn’t lost his virtue.
Right now, Pedro is telling the boys he had no choice – he couldn’t leave LuCrazy at the mercy of the brutal Pigorio or let her wander the streets. He has to find a safe place for her. [I’m thinking she’d get three hots and a cot at Mme. Brigitte’s.]
LuCrazy’s job is to make Pedro and Camila argue. Lu seems to be thinking hard. “Wait a sec,” she says, “have you considered what would happen if Pedro’s wife, Mariana ... “
We don’t get to hear the end of her sentence but whatever it is, it brings an evil smirk to Tony’s lips.
Camila, meanwhile, boasts that she’s not afraid of LuCrazy (Though perhaps she should be. The woman is a bunny boiler, if ever there was one.) The issue is Pedro. She’s not sure she can trust him 100%. She wants to check out his story. Geno says she should just talk to him. And she should do it now, “antes de que Lucrecia meta cizaña” (before Lu sows discord.)
LuCrazy and Tony are still yakking it up on the phone. He tells her about the fake news stories. If they don’t do the trick, plan B is to follow Mariana’s trail. They know Pigorio is behind her disappearance and if he has to, Antonio will do whatever it takes to get the truth out of him.
At AlcaTrash, Doris rants on and the Pig rubs his eyes wearily.
At El Tal, Tía throws up her hands at Pedro and Camila acting like big whiny babies:
¡Ay qué necios son los dos!
(Oh what fools you both are!)
Pedro digs in his heels. The problem is that Camila doesn’t trust him.
Pigorio isn’t feeling so hot. He bellows for Alberta. He wants Pancho to come to his room. He brushes off Doris’s suggestion to call the doctor. He’ll call later. He’s sure it’s those capsules – there’s something in them that doesn’t agree with him.
Love is in the air
El Viral notices the pill bottles are sitting out in plain view. She gasps and hurries to conceal them. Renato approaches her and she jumps when he touches her waist. He doesn’t find find her behavior strange. “You’d be the perfect wife” he purrs.
Flor thinks José looks intelligent in his glasses. She invites him to AlcaTrash to meet the psychos. He’d love to but he er... uh ... promised to visit his brother. Yeah. His twin brother.
Fabiola confesses to Alberta that she can’t think of anything but Armaaaando.
Antonio gaves a guy some money to publish an article saying that Pedro killed his wife. [The guy has no lines but his mother is probably making the ladies in her bridge club watch the DVR of the scene over and over.]
Night falls.
The rabbi has made his way home safely.
The F-sisters are also home and chatting about bullets in the wall and what grandpa Pig might have done to make daddy so mad. Flor mentions that José has a twin. Too bad Fabi already has a boyfriend.
Renato escorts El Viral back to her hotel room after wowing her with a pricey dinner that maxed out his credit card. He needs an infusion of capital now. He must woo faster. The next dinner will be in his apartment, just the three of them: he, she and the check. El Viral is smitten!
Doris and Antonio have another skirmish. “I’m divorcing you, marrying Camila and taking the girls” he snarls. “Da lo por hecho” (Take it as a given, literally ‘give it as done’).
The final scene: the upstairs hallway at El Tal. Pedro tries to kiss Camila goodnight but she holds him off with a smile. She’s afraid they won’t be able to control themselves. [Because they’re ANIMALS! Oh yes!]
As soon as Camila closes her bedroom door, Lu slinks out from her hidey-hole and needles Pedro about getting snubbed by Cami.
Alone in the bedroom, Cami reconsiders. Maybe she was a bit prudish – what’s a little kiss, after all?
She opens her door to rejoin Pedro ... just a second or two after LuCraziest has pulled Pedro onto her face.
Camila gives them the stinkeye. The credits roll before Pedro can say “Déjame explicar ...”
Avances: Pedro kicks LuCrazy out of El Tal and Antonio ramps up the Pedro disinformation campaign.
If Thursday was ham on wry, (and it was), then this Friday is pure spam. Which is unfortunate. Because it is precisely today that Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote joins us for the first time. (Hide the pork products and let’s wrap it up before sundown.)
Popularly known in the valley as the Tallis Man because of his distinctive avocado-colored tallis, or prayer shawl, Rabbi Jacob will comment on the text from time to time when the regular go-to goy, Padre Serafin, is out blessing a Suburu and we need moral guidance fast.
Let’s get started on our trip to nowhere, shall we?
It’s a new day at el tal Talismán
La tal Camila is marking her territory. La tal LuCrazy is mincing around, still wearing the skimpy hospital gown whose pale pink color highlights the bruises on her surly face.
It’s the Pi Man himself who makes the call: Lu gets the guestroom, and Camila will sleep in Pedro’s bedroom.
¡No sean malpensados!
(Get your minds out of the gutter!)
No need to call in the rabbi just yet. Pedro will sleep in Mariana’s bedroom, right next to his own. Tía is handing around the chastity belts.
[Rabbi Jacob: It’s very odd that no one mentions the suicide room. Wasn’t that the master bedroom? Did they seal it off? Or, it’s not, God forbid, “Mariana’s room”? NM: Tonight the writers have forgotten Estegone’s tragic legacy and they expect us to do the same. Rabbi: Mutters under breath: Putzes.]
At AlcaTrash
Gregorio explains (again) that Pancho must watch Gregorio’s back and keep an eye on Antonio and LuCrazier. His reward? When he and Greg are alone – and only then – Pancho can call him daddy.
At The Only Hotel Inn-Fresno™
Armando wants out of El Viral’s scheme to hurt the Negrete girls. He protests the same way he does everything -- feebly, ineffectually. He has a hunch Operation F-Girls will backfire and he’ll be the one who gets effed. Exit Armando. Enter Antonio.
Now Tony pulls El Viral’s strings. He has some work for her:
First, make Camila believe that Pedro killed his wife. And second? Oh, yeah -- he wants daddy dead.
Tracy pops in briefly and unnecessarily tonight. She phones El Tal looking for Panchito. She’s got problems, she tells Domitila.
But unbeknownst to Tracy, Pancho, ever so desperate to please, is still closeted with Pigorio over at AlcaTrash. The Pig says he can’t trust anyone – especially Antonio, now that he knows about his mother’s will. Pancho is hurt. Doesn’t Pigorio trust HIM? Pig makes it clear Pancho will have to earn his trust.
El Viral is sorry she ever got mixed up with Tony and regrets agreeing to poison the Pig’s pills. Can’t they kill him some other way? Nope.
At last, Pancho leaves with a wistful “Hasta luego, Papa” and the Pig is alone in his bullet-pocked office. Not for long though. Doris, particularly drab and sullen this evening, comes in whining about Antonio and his plans to divorce her for la tal Camila.
El Tal
Pedro reminds Camila (again) that he only married Mariana to give her baby his name. When Mariana comes home, her old room will be waiting for her and Pedro will move back into his own bedroom. Even if Camila is still in it. Here he and Camila exchange conspiratorial smiles – oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!
LuCrazierandcrazier slithers and hisses in the background. Camila looks smug. I’m the one Pedro loves, you nasty whoring munchkin!
[Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ...]
Pedro looks at a photo of himself with Mariana and her father. He wonders: ¿Dónde estarás, Mariana? ¿Dónde? (I wonder where Mariana is?)
[NM: Pedro uses the future of probability that often gets translated as “I wonder”. I like to think of it as the “Book of Love Future (♪♪Oh I wonder, wonder, wonder ...♪♪)]
[Rabbi Jacob: Future shmuture. Look for her outside of Fresno, already!]
Pigorio counsels Doris to use her daughters by pitting them against Antonio. [I’m distracted by Doris’s voice. It sounds like it should be in a cartoon. If they dub The Simpsons in Spanish, Doris should play one of Marge’s sisters.]
At California State University Fresno
Flor, momentarily sacada de onda (bummed out) because José seems to have stood her up, brightens when her bespectacled suitor appears. ¿Que onda contigo? (Whassup, dude?), she greets him.
[Rabbi Jacob: What’s with the onda talk?
NM: That’s code for “I’m just a kid.”]
Almost immediately Armando gets a phone call and steps away to talk to ... the other F-sister, Fabi, the one he really likes. Oh this is all too much for Armando. His tiny brain is starting to hurt.
Flor wants to know who called. “My friend, Fabio” he sputters. “¡Qué casualidad!” She has a sister named Fabiola!
At the Hotel, Antonio is still turning the screws on El Viral. Now he peels a few bills from the wad he’s carrying. Something to make her smile he says as he hands her the cash. The catch – she has to convince Camila to leave Pedro.
El Viral is aghast when Antonio tells her Pedro was accused of murdering his wife. He thought she already knew.
[Rabbi Jacob: Didn’t he say that to her earlier this evening?
NM: Yes. Maybe the headband is constricting the blood supply to her brain.]
Anyway, Antonio will get all the old newspaper stories about the trial so El Viral can get to work on Operation Comecocos.
(comecocos = brainwashing, Hombre de Misterio’s gift to El Tal)
More girl talk.
Cami asks LuCrazy:
¿No te cansas de estar de rogona?
(Aren’t you tired of acting like a stalker? rogar: to beg)
You’re the “rogona”, giraffe-girl, snarls Lu.
Here Pedro arrives to escort Camila to “his” bedroom while Tía takes charge of LuCrazier. She shuts the door and Lu and Tía are now alone together in a confined space. Lu’s fake smile fades quickly.
[Rabbi Jacob: Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be a scene right here with the aunt telling off the mean girl? NM: No kidding, Rabbi. Tía’s the one who’s always had LuCrazy’s number.]
Pedro shows Cami his room, the very room she lived in for several days. Four years ago. He has kept it exactly as she left it – a few receipts from Yogurt Fusion, a handful of feathers and a cowgirl belt are now cherished relics -- because it made him feel she was there with him.
Fabiola returns home to AlcaTrash. Alberta gives her the skinny on the Belt Buckle vs the Safe:
Se puso bien canijo el pleito entre Don Gregorio y tu papá.
(The argument between Don G and your dad got pretty bad. canijo: literally small, puny but here it’s almost the opposite – big, nasty. Choose your negative.)
Pfffft. That’s old news to Fabiola.
Alberta adds warily:
A Antonio se le metió el chamuco adentro.
(The devil has taken hold of Antonio.)
The devilish Antonio is right now arranging for a (fake) newspaper story to be (fake?) published. It will make Pedro look guilty and then El Viral can use it to turn Camila against him.
El Viral and Tony are startled by a knock on the door. Surprise! It’s Renato and he has come a-courting. “¿Qué dice la mujer más bella ... “, he begins unctuously. But the sight of the Belt Buckle in full pelvic tilt, dries up his spit for a moment. He bounces back quickly though: “May I ask who the gentleman is?”
[Rabbi Jacob: She’s a good-looking woman but why is she wearing the huge earrings and the stupid headband? NM: It’s a long story, Rabbi. Later.]
Antonio curls his lip.
[Rabbi Jacob: And the schmuck* with the Belt Buckle that ate San Jacinto?]
[NM to reader: *Schmuck is a consummately vulgar Yiddish word meaning, literally, “penis” but used popularly to mean a cross between an “imbécil” and an “infeliz”, ie, a nasty piece of work. Using it here is decidedly unrabbinical and I am starting to doubt my judgment in calling upon Rabbi Jacob for commentary.]
Fabiola doesn’t want to hear any AlcaTrash Talk about her daddy.
But Alberta won’t back down. “If you don’t believe me, look at the bullet holes in the wall of your grandfather’s office!” she says. “Tu papá no es tan bueno como crees.” (Your dad isn’t as good a person as you think.)
Pigorio doesn’t think Doris can turn the girls against Tony. They adore him. But listen. If she’s going to make Tony’s life hell, at least do it intelligently.
Doris defends her intellect staunchly, even pulling out a copy of Elna June’s recent Harlot’s Tale to buttress her claim. “I’m not as dumb as you all think.” She knows how much Antonio loves his daughters. If she turns them against him, he’ll suffer.
Working girls
Geno is showing Sarita some leaves with signs of the plaga. Really? El Tal has the plaga? And if so shouldn’t they be concentrating on it? And not gasping girlishly because Camila is back in the big house? Guess not.
Meanwhile Pedro is telling the boys that because of his big mouth (por bocón), he’ll have to do an Odysseus and the Sirens number. There’s no mast to lash him to, but they’ll have to tie him down to control his animal passions what with Camila right next door to his bedroom. And we all know what a raging beast it is, Pedro’s passion. Yeah.
Back at El Viral’s hotel room, Renato stands, decked in shades of vanilla, holding a single long-stemmed red rose. El V introduces Tony as her daughter’s suitor (pretendiente). Tony toys with El V by telling Renato that her only flaw is that she is a poisoner (una envenenadora) -- she likes to poison her romantic conquests. El V smiles uneasily.
“¿De dónde sacaste eso?” (Where the &*$#* did that come from?) asks Renato, somewhat taken aback.
Answers slick Antonio: She poisons with her charms. And Renato ups the schmaltz when he says he’d love to die poisoned by her charms. “Yup. My dad too” says Tony.
Now El Viral makes it PERFECTLY plain that there’s nothing between her and Pigorio. “You remember, the big doofus at the fiesta? That’s his father.” Renato’s brow clears. He turns to Antonio: So you’re the son of the Pig?
No, says Tony darkly. “The Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle.”
And his parting shot to El Viral:
“Thanks for getting my father’s blood pressure medicine!”
Renato está en la inopia:
(R is clueless – (thanks to Cap’n S for the lovely phrase)
“You got his blood pressure pills?”
The working girls wear latex gloves and have a bunch of test tubes arrayed on a table but all they seem to do is gossip about Camila and Pedro and LuCrazy. Geno hopes Lu’s liver will explode from rage.
[Rabbi Jacob: And may all her teeth fall out except one and may that one give her a toothache.
NM: Rabbi, that’s really inappropriate.
Rabbi Jacob: Oy, sorry, I got carried away. That Geno, she’s a good little actress ...]
Fabiola insists that her father must have fired his gun by accident (sin querer). But if he’s acting weird, it must be because of his new girlfriend, la tal Camila.
Meanwhile, la tal Camila is explaining to her skeptical colleagues – ¡malpensadas! – the details of her chaste sleeping arrangements. Geno and Sarita warn her -- Beware the LuCrazyMonster!
[It is nearly sundown and Rabbi Jacob must leave us. He is clearly shaken by what he has seen today and somewhat ashamed of getting caught in the moment. I fear he may be reluctant to return.]
Hah! LuCrazier’s out of her hospital gown and in tight leather. She’s in full stalker mode, sniffing around Mariana’s room where Pedro will be sleeping. Domitila all but sweeps her out.
Outside, Pedro tells the boys Camila is sleeping in his bedroom. Yuk yuk yuk. “¡No sean malpensados!”
Antonio pulls over his shiny red pick-up and gets a phone update from Lu: Camila is sleeping in Pedro’s bedroom.
“¿Qué? ¡No puede ser!”
Calm down, Antonio – the “writers” are just stuck on this “joke”. Pedro hasn’t lost his virtue.
Right now, Pedro is telling the boys he had no choice – he couldn’t leave LuCrazy at the mercy of the brutal Pigorio or let her wander the streets. He has to find a safe place for her. [I’m thinking she’d get three hots and a cot at Mme. Brigitte’s.]
LuCrazy’s job is to make Pedro and Camila argue. Lu seems to be thinking hard. “Wait a sec,” she says, “have you considered what would happen if Pedro’s wife, Mariana ... “
We don’t get to hear the end of her sentence but whatever it is, it brings an evil smirk to Tony’s lips.
Camila, meanwhile, boasts that she’s not afraid of LuCrazy (Though perhaps she should be. The woman is a bunny boiler, if ever there was one.) The issue is Pedro. She’s not sure she can trust him 100%. She wants to check out his story. Geno says she should just talk to him. And she should do it now, “antes de que Lucrecia meta cizaña” (before Lu sows discord.)
LuCrazy and Tony are still yakking it up on the phone. He tells her about the fake news stories. If they don’t do the trick, plan B is to follow Mariana’s trail. They know Pigorio is behind her disappearance and if he has to, Antonio will do whatever it takes to get the truth out of him.
At AlcaTrash, Doris rants on and the Pig rubs his eyes wearily.
At El Tal, Tía throws up her hands at Pedro and Camila acting like big whiny babies:
¡Ay qué necios son los dos!
(Oh what fools you both are!)
Pedro digs in his heels. The problem is that Camila doesn’t trust him.
Pigorio isn’t feeling so hot. He bellows for Alberta. He wants Pancho to come to his room. He brushes off Doris’s suggestion to call the doctor. He’ll call later. He’s sure it’s those capsules – there’s something in them that doesn’t agree with him.
Love is in the air
El Viral notices the pill bottles are sitting out in plain view. She gasps and hurries to conceal them. Renato approaches her and she jumps when he touches her waist. He doesn’t find find her behavior strange. “You’d be the perfect wife” he purrs.
Flor thinks José looks intelligent in his glasses. She invites him to AlcaTrash to meet the psychos. He’d love to but he er... uh ... promised to visit his brother. Yeah. His twin brother.
Fabiola confesses to Alberta that she can’t think of anything but Armaaaando.
Antonio gaves a guy some money to publish an article saying that Pedro killed his wife. [The guy has no lines but his mother is probably making the ladies in her bridge club watch the DVR of the scene over and over.]
Night falls.
The rabbi has made his way home safely.
The F-sisters are also home and chatting about bullets in the wall and what grandpa Pig might have done to make daddy so mad. Flor mentions that José has a twin. Too bad Fabi already has a boyfriend.
Renato escorts El Viral back to her hotel room after wowing her with a pricey dinner that maxed out his credit card. He needs an infusion of capital now. He must woo faster. The next dinner will be in his apartment, just the three of them: he, she and the check. El Viral is smitten!
Doris and Antonio have another skirmish. “I’m divorcing you, marrying Camila and taking the girls” he snarls. “Da lo por hecho” (Take it as a given, literally ‘give it as done’).
The final scene: the upstairs hallway at El Tal. Pedro tries to kiss Camila goodnight but she holds him off with a smile. She’s afraid they won’t be able to control themselves. [Because they’re ANIMALS! Oh yes!]
As soon as Camila closes her bedroom door, Lu slinks out from her hidey-hole and needles Pedro about getting snubbed by Cami.
Alone in the bedroom, Cami reconsiders. Maybe she was a bit prudish – what’s a little kiss, after all?
She opens her door to rejoin Pedro ... just a second or two after LuCraziest has pulled Pedro onto her face.
Camila gives them the stinkeye. The credits roll before Pedro can say “Déjame explicar ...”
Avances: Pedro kicks LuCrazy out of El Tal and Antonio ramps up the Pedro disinformation campaign.
Labels: Talisman
Comments:
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I'm so sorry. I know this is just about unreadable. Blogger eliminated all my paragraphs and came up with the graphic equivalent of a unibrow.
If someone can help me fix this, please let me know.
Yours in frustration,
NM
If someone can help me fix this, please let me know.
Yours in frustration,
NM
Very funny, NM, apart from the accidental wall-of-text...what happens if you just try to edit the post?
Thanks, BillC.
When I try to edit, I see my original spacing in blogger. All I can do is use boldface and italics. As soon as I post, the paragraphs disappear.
I did stick in some more bolding to try to break up the wall. ARGHHH.
When I try to edit, I see my original spacing in blogger. All I can do is use boldface and italics. As soon as I post, the paragraphs disappear.
I did stick in some more bolding to try to break up the wall. ARGHHH.
Try this: add
< p > (without the spaces)
at the end of each paragraph. This might be Blogger somehow choking on the existing paragraph breaks.
< p > (without the spaces)
at the end of each paragraph. This might be Blogger somehow choking on the existing paragraph breaks.
Holy Guacamole, BillC! ¡Eres un genio!
It worked (though it was a huge pain). This may be NovelaMaven's swan song ...
It worked (though it was a huge pain). This may be NovelaMaven's swan song ...
De nada, though it wasn't my idea--I saw some comments elsewhere from others who ran into the same basic problem. At least one of them mentioned what appears to have been this recent Blogger update and some sort of web browser quirk; you're not using Google Chrome by chance, are you? (At least it's a fairly harmless, if annoying, bug/feature.)
Bill, I was forced to use Google Chrome to get to the edit function. But I tried posting the original in both Internet Explorer and Google Chrome with identical results.
NovelaMaven, once again you've knocked it out of the park and now the format is excellent as well. Looks like thanks are due for Bill C. for coming up with the solution for that latest detail.
Please don't tell me that our idiot-boy Armando is now going to try to be twins (Armando and José) as he pursues the femsibs. How clever. I have doubts that he's capable of tying his own shoes, much less pull something like this off.
"He has a hunch Operation F-Girls will backfire and he’ll be the one who gets effed."
Well, at least it won't come as a surprise.
Bill C correctly noted earlier that donG's face may be where emotions go to die, but I can almost detect a trace of nervous discomfiture when Panchito calls him Papá.
It's way past time for Mariana to come home.
Carlos
Please don't tell me that our idiot-boy Armando is now going to try to be twins (Armando and José) as he pursues the femsibs. How clever. I have doubts that he's capable of tying his own shoes, much less pull something like this off.
"He has a hunch Operation F-Girls will backfire and he’ll be the one who gets effed."
Well, at least it won't come as a surprise.
Bill C correctly noted earlier that donG's face may be where emotions go to die, but I can almost detect a trace of nervous discomfiture when Panchito calls him Papá.
It's way past time for Mariana to come home.
Carlos
My favorite part last night was when Antonio was gesticulating wildly and screaming at Elvira, "DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC! DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC!"
Er, what *was* that thing Doris was wearing in her confab with the Pig? It looked like a do-it-yourself straightjacket.
Er, what *was* that thing Doris was wearing in her confab with the Pig? It looked like a do-it-yourself straightjacket.
Permalink posted by 
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 2:36:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 2:36:00 PM EST
I had way too many favorite lines, so I had to narrow down the hit parade:
“Oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!”
“The woman is a bunny boiler, if ever there was one.”
“…just the three of them: he, she and the check.”
And best of all:
“The Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle.”
We may have to get that engraved on something.
“Oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!”
“The woman is a bunny boiler, if ever there was one.”
“…just the three of them: he, she and the check.”
And best of all:
“The Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle.”
We may have to get that engraved on something.
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 2:47:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 2:47:00 PM EST
NovelaMaven...your brain is a minefield...I never know what kind of explosion it's going to produce next. But what a great way to save a dismal episode...I'm all for Rabbi Jacob as a regular, though he did shock me with his schmuck remark. I inadvertently used that in the newspaper office one day and my crusty old editor set me straight. Not the right kind of talk for a young lady, as I appeared to be. But we'll cut Rabbi Jacob some slack. This telenovela would drive anyone to profanity.
Blue Lass' faves were mine too, plus I loved your musing on Doris being the voice for Marge Simpson's sister.
Thanks for suffering through another wretched episode NM and turning it, somehow, into a delightful recap.
Blue Lass' faves were mine too, plus I loved your musing on Doris being the voice for Marge Simpson's sister.
Thanks for suffering through another wretched episode NM and turning it, somehow, into a delightful recap.
Oh.so.brilliant!!
Where does one begin with the praise?
Since bunny boiler and the Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle lines have already been mentioned I will add:
"LuCrazierandcrazier slithers and hisses in the background. Camila looks smug. I’m the one Pedro loves, you nasty whoring munchkin! [Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ...]
I complete agree with the Rabbi IRT: "Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be a scene right here with the aunt telling off the mean girl?" (Writers: We was robbed!!)
Your "The credits roll before Pedro can say 'Déjame explicar ...'" Closing line is a thing of beauty.
Thanks so much!
Where does one begin with the praise?
Since bunny boiler and the Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle lines have already been mentioned I will add:
"LuCrazierandcrazier slithers and hisses in the background. Camila looks smug. I’m the one Pedro loves, you nasty whoring munchkin! [Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ...]
I complete agree with the Rabbi IRT: "Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be a scene right here with the aunt telling off the mean girl?" (Writers: We was robbed!!)
Your "The credits roll before Pedro can say 'Déjame explicar ...'" Closing line is a thing of beauty.
Thanks so much!
Dear Carlos, Blue Lass, JudyB and Sara,
Thank you, amigos. I'm so glad you enjoyed the recap. It was kind of a stinker to write because, indeed, absolutely nothing happened.
The atrocious quality of this show was especially obvious to me last night because I had just watched the recording of the final episode of La Hija del Mariachi, a telenovela that was brilliantly conceived, written, produced and acted from start to finish -- everything, in short, that El Tal is not. And there was the wonderful mariachi music all throughout.
Although the last two episodes weren't the best in the novela (they never are, are they?), I was ridiculously moved at the way things ended. The good guys were rewarded, the meanies were left to gnash their teeth, and the truly bad guys ended up in jail. There were honest cops committed to serving justice.
I am so going to miss this one.
Thank you, amigos. I'm so glad you enjoyed the recap. It was kind of a stinker to write because, indeed, absolutely nothing happened.
The atrocious quality of this show was especially obvious to me last night because I had just watched the recording of the final episode of La Hija del Mariachi, a telenovela that was brilliantly conceived, written, produced and acted from start to finish -- everything, in short, that El Tal is not. And there was the wonderful mariachi music all throughout.
Although the last two episodes weren't the best in the novela (they never are, are they?), I was ridiculously moved at the way things ended. The good guys were rewarded, the meanies were left to gnash their teeth, and the truly bad guys ended up in jail. There were honest cops committed to serving justice.
I am so going to miss this one.
NM! Thank you! I love the title, and maybe your subtitle can be the much beloved line: The Pig is the Father of the Belt Buckle. So funny!
Loved the above mentioned lines along with:
-His (Armando's) tiny brain is starting to hurt.
-The Belt Buckle in full pelvic tilt
-all the cherished relics in C's old room
-And we all know what a raging beast it is, Pedro's passion
-And may all her teeth fall out except one, and may that one give her a toothache
I laughed the hardest at:
- The guy has no lines but his mother made her bridge club watch the DVR of the scene over and over.
Yikes, thanks for the translation of Schmuck. How many people have I thought that about without actually thinking about their schmuck?
Thank you for the vocab help, as usual. I especially appreciated your explanation of estaras (con accento) as "I wonder". Because I was wondering.
I loved the Elvira / Antonio / Renato "poison" conversation! Yay! A funny few lines in a row from the writers. What a comedy.
Nicely done, and much enjoyed.
Rosemary la Otra
Loved the above mentioned lines along with:
-His (Armando's) tiny brain is starting to hurt.
-The Belt Buckle in full pelvic tilt
-all the cherished relics in C's old room
-And we all know what a raging beast it is, Pedro's passion
-And may all her teeth fall out except one, and may that one give her a toothache
I laughed the hardest at:
- The guy has no lines but his mother made her bridge club watch the DVR of the scene over and over.
Yikes, thanks for the translation of Schmuck. How many people have I thought that about without actually thinking about their schmuck?
Thank you for the vocab help, as usual. I especially appreciated your explanation of estaras (con accento) as "I wonder". Because I was wondering.
I loved the Elvira / Antonio / Renato "poison" conversation! Yay! A funny few lines in a row from the writers. What a comedy.
Nicely done, and much enjoyed.
Rosemary la Otra
I'm happy to report I spent the entire afternoon watching Corazón Salvaje on DVD, and I UNDERSTOOD EVERY WORD. I do NOT have a brain tumor.
What is it with these El Tal mushmouths? Does the director make them do that? IS there even a director?
I found Aarón perfectly comprehensible in Teresa. For a while there I thought I was losing my mind.
What is it with these El Tal mushmouths? Does the director make them do that? IS there even a director?
I found Aarón perfectly comprehensible in Teresa. For a while there I thought I was losing my mind.
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 5:22:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 5:22:00 PM EST
NovelaMaven, that was a genius recap!
I also loved the bunny boiler line.
I hope Rabbi Jacob makes a return appearance sometime. The guy is a mensch!
I also loved the bunny boiler line.
I hope Rabbi Jacob makes a return appearance sometime. The guy is a mensch!
That was hilarious, thanks! How much fun to have the Rabbi recap along with you. And I learned some things about Yiddish that I needed to know. :) Thanks!
Audrey
Audrey
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 6:48:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 6:48:00 PM EST
But, Rabbi Small, everyone is meshuga in telenovelas! All the psychiatrists in New York could get filthy rich treating them!
This was much more entertaining than the episode.
This was much more entertaining than the episode.
Twins?? He's twins??? This just gets better and better. How can anyone NOT love this show? It's hysterical. Not on purpose of course, but that's not important. The important thing is that it can turn a really crappy day into a fun-filled laughfest.
So Lucrazy or Antonio or whoever is going to look for Mariana and bring her back? Who thinks it'll get done in a couple weeks, as opposed to the years Pedro's been looking?
Kelly
So Lucrazy or Antonio or whoever is going to look for Mariana and bring her back? Who thinks it'll get done in a couple weeks, as opposed to the years Pedro's been looking?
Kelly
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 7:57:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 7:57:00 PM EST
R la O, Thanks so much. I'm glad you found some of the Spanish bits useful. (My strategy -- when there's no plot, concentrate on the vocab and the grammar)
BTW, the "May all your teeth fall out but one..." line is a classic Yiddish curse.
Novelera, What a nice surprise to see you here. Thanks for the nice words. Rabbi Jacob IS a mensch, isn't he?
Thanks, Audrey. I'm glad you enjoyed the niblets of Yiddish.
Urban, Rabbi Small, the eponymous hero of the wonderful Harry Kemelman series, might know that everyone in telenovelas is meshuga. But the hapless Tallis Man, Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote, is just learning this.
Thank you for reminding me of Harry Kemelman. I had originally acknowledged him in the title but that got lopped off when my posting was all screwed up. I'll try to add it back in. Just hope I don't end up deleting everything, including the comments.
BTW, the "May all your teeth fall out but one..." line is a classic Yiddish curse.
Novelera, What a nice surprise to see you here. Thanks for the nice words. Rabbi Jacob IS a mensch, isn't he?
Thanks, Audrey. I'm glad you enjoyed the niblets of Yiddish.
Urban, Rabbi Small, the eponymous hero of the wonderful Harry Kemelman series, might know that everyone in telenovelas is meshuga. But the hapless Tallis Man, Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote, is just learning this.
Thank you for reminding me of Harry Kemelman. I had originally acknowledged him in the title but that got lopped off when my posting was all screwed up. I'll try to add it back in. Just hope I don't end up deleting everything, including the comments.
Blue Lass,
About the El Tal mushmouths --
I find that El Viral (aka la marmota) speaks quite clearly compared to the other actors. Definitely old-school and definitely appreciated.
I've suggested before that the others are mumbling because they are so embarrassed by the stupid lines they are being forced to recite.
About the El Tal mushmouths --
I find that El Viral (aka la marmota) speaks quite clearly compared to the other actors. Definitely old-school and definitely appreciated.
I've suggested before that the others are mumbling because they are so embarrassed by the stupid lines they are being forced to recite.
NM, thank you so much for this wonderful recap. I have read all of the Harry Kemelman books!
Somewhere I have recipe for Meshuga Nuts - I must make a batch to eat while watching this.
The only thing I enjoyed last night was Cami - she has a wonderful laugh.
I do wish that Antonio would stand up straight!
So the poison pills are working but will the evil Papa Pig continue to take them? He knows they are making him feel bad! Are the doctors in Fresno smart enough to test them?
Rosemary Primera
Somewhere I have recipe for Meshuga Nuts - I must make a batch to eat while watching this.
The only thing I enjoyed last night was Cami - she has a wonderful laugh.
I do wish that Antonio would stand up straight!
So the poison pills are working but will the evil Papa Pig continue to take them? He knows they are making him feel bad! Are the doctors in Fresno smart enough to test them?
Rosemary Primera
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 8:40:00 PM EST
: Saturday, March 3, 2012 at 8:40:00 PM EST
Trivia for the day: schmuck in German is jewelry or adornments. Hmmmm ...considering the Yiddish... family jewels?
And how did I not acknowledge "ham on wry"? Another perfect quip.
And how did I not acknowledge "ham on wry"? Another perfect quip.
Dear NM:
What a wonderful recap. I am delighted to meet Rabbi S. and I hope he drops by often to lend a dry comment and timeless wisdom to El Tal Caray Caray.
Some gems from today's recap:
The great intro...
"Were they doing tequila shots with Larry David over lunch? Had they been watching too many Seinfeld reruns?"
The good Rabbi's attire...
Popularly known in the valley as the Tallis Man because of his distinctive avocado-colored tallis, or prayer shawl, Rabbi Jacob will comment on the text from time to time when the regular go-to goy, Padre Serafin, is out blessing a Suburu and we need moral guidance fast.
NM: Tonight the writers have forgotten Estegone’s tragic legacy and they expect us to do the same. Rabbi: Mutters under breathless: Putzes.
On Armando's character...
Armando wants out of El Viral’s scheme to hurt the Negrete girls. He protests the same way he does everything -- feebly, ineffectually.
On poor, pitiful Pancho...
At last, Pancho leaves with a wistful “Hasta luego, Papa” and the Pig is alone in his bullet-pocked office.
And Rabbi S.'s best comment of all,the one that sums up El Tal's cast of characters...
"Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ..."
Novela Maven:
I can't thank you enough for this terrific piece of writing that some might call a recap.
I especially empathize with your experience of the new posting and editing problems posed by Blogger, which, coming on the heels of having to think about El Tal for several hours, is truly adding insult to injury.
Still, despite the difficulties posed by recapping something about nothing, you have given us a delightful read. Thank you, thank you. Your writing inspires me to give my best to recapping, your humor is sheer delight and your knowledge of Spanish is impressive. I am honored to be on the same recapping team.
Finally, I offer a respectful abrazo to Rabbi J.S., our new go-to guy for spiritual advice.
EJ
What a wonderful recap. I am delighted to meet Rabbi S. and I hope he drops by often to lend a dry comment and timeless wisdom to El Tal Caray Caray.
Some gems from today's recap:
The great intro...
"Were they doing tequila shots with Larry David over lunch? Had they been watching too many Seinfeld reruns?"
The good Rabbi's attire...
Popularly known in the valley as the Tallis Man because of his distinctive avocado-colored tallis, or prayer shawl, Rabbi Jacob will comment on the text from time to time when the regular go-to goy, Padre Serafin, is out blessing a Suburu and we need moral guidance fast.
NM: Tonight the writers have forgotten Estegone’s tragic legacy and they expect us to do the same. Rabbi: Mutters under breathless: Putzes.
On Armando's character...
Armando wants out of El Viral’s scheme to hurt the Negrete girls. He protests the same way he does everything -- feebly, ineffectually.
On poor, pitiful Pancho...
At last, Pancho leaves with a wistful “Hasta luego, Papa” and the Pig is alone in his bullet-pocked office.
And Rabbi S.'s best comment of all,the one that sums up El Tal's cast of characters...
"Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ..."
Novela Maven:
I can't thank you enough for this terrific piece of writing that some might call a recap.
I especially empathize with your experience of the new posting and editing problems posed by Blogger, which, coming on the heels of having to think about El Tal for several hours, is truly adding insult to injury.
Still, despite the difficulties posed by recapping something about nothing, you have given us a delightful read. Thank you, thank you. Your writing inspires me to give my best to recapping, your humor is sheer delight and your knowledge of Spanish is impressive. I am honored to be on the same recapping team.
Finally, I offer a respectful abrazo to Rabbi J.S., our new go-to guy for spiritual advice.
EJ
NM - Thanks to you and Sylvia, I just spent the evening watching the Rabbi Jacob movie. Sylvia had recommended it a week or two ago and I just picked it up from the library and THEN here came your wonderful recap! What a fun tie-in.
I have heard the tooth curse before (I have a Jewish grandfather), but I never imagined it would pop up in a Spanish telenovela re-cap! Priceless!
I agree that El Viral enunciates so well. She (Julieta Rosen) was one of the few characters I even tried to understand.
Blue Lass - Your comments are just too hysterical! Somehow I missed the irony of Antonio screaming to Elvira "DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC". lol Thanks for pointing that out. Are these writers cleverer than we give them credit for? Or is it you pointing out the ridiculous?
And then Doris' handmade straight jacket!
I guess the obvious thing to engrave, at your suggestion, "The Pig is the Father of the Belt Buckle" would be a belt buckle. Hey, my dad had a big belt buckle that said "RON". We used to tease him that it was so he wouldn't forget his name.
Carlos - "That our idiot boy, Armando, is now going to try to be twins..." You said what we were all thinking. This is going to be a hoot!
Off to hit the books... Ramona la Chinche to be precise.
R la O
I have heard the tooth curse before (I have a Jewish grandfather), but I never imagined it would pop up in a Spanish telenovela re-cap! Priceless!
I agree that El Viral enunciates so well. She (Julieta Rosen) was one of the few characters I even tried to understand.
Blue Lass - Your comments are just too hysterical! Somehow I missed the irony of Antonio screaming to Elvira "DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC". lol Thanks for pointing that out. Are these writers cleverer than we give them credit for? Or is it you pointing out the ridiculous?
And then Doris' handmade straight jacket!
I guess the obvious thing to engrave, at your suggestion, "The Pig is the Father of the Belt Buckle" would be a belt buckle. Hey, my dad had a big belt buckle that said "RON". We used to tease him that it was so he wouldn't forget his name.
Carlos - "That our idiot boy, Armando, is now going to try to be twins..." You said what we were all thinking. This is going to be a hoot!
Off to hit the books... Ramona la Chinche to be precise.
R la O
Let me finish my sentence:
She (Julieta Rosen) was one of the few characters I even tried to understand on Cuando. I loved her calm voice back in the day (well, except for when her mom rolled down the stairs and died).
She (Julieta Rosen) was one of the few characters I even tried to understand on Cuando. I loved her calm voice back in the day (well, except for when her mom rolled down the stairs and died).
My list of characters by diction (best to worst and not an exhaustive list....just whoever popped into my head)
Marmota
Pig
Tony
Loo
Pablo the Pea-brain
Three-way Tie: Doris and the F-sisters
Marmota
Pig
Tony
Loo
Pablo the Pea-brain
Three-way Tie: Doris and the F-sisters
You're right, NM & R la O, Julieta Rosen does have nice diction. She sounded better in Teresa, but that was probably because she wasn't spitting mad all the time.
And R la O, I suppose the writers must be cleverer than we give them credit for -- coz we don't give them credit for much. That's the nice thing about being a pessimist: you're so often pleasantly surprised.
And R la O, I suppose the writers must be cleverer than we give them credit for -- coz we don't give them credit for much. That's the nice thing about being a pessimist: you're so often pleasantly surprised.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 9:01:00 AM EST
: Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 9:01:00 AM EST
Sara - So for listening comprehension one should focus more on listening to Marmota and Pig, despising Tony and Loo, and basically disregarding Doris and the F-sisters.
Where do you think Camila falls on this scale? Tracy is just too fast for me to follow. Good thing she throws in some English.
Where do you think Camila falls on this scale? Tracy is just too fast for me to follow. Good thing she throws in some English.
Oh yeah! Put Tracy down there near the bottom too! I'm hit or miss with Camila. Some days I understand other days I don't. Actually I feel that way about my comprehension of the entire show. I think my comprehension problems stem from the following:
Context: there is none. The story is all over the place and they throw new stuff at me all the time.
Acting: everyone seems to be yelling.
Writing: they dont seem to use the overdone phrases that I've come to know.
Context: there is none. The story is all over the place and they throw new stuff at me all the time.
Acting: everyone seems to be yelling.
Writing: they dont seem to use the overdone phrases that I've come to know.
Rosemary Primera!
I didn't know you were here! What a nice surprise!
Perhaps you can whip up a few batches of "Meshuga Nuts". I'm sure they'd fly off the shelves at Tal*Mart.
My dear Elna June,
A comment from you always feels like a blessing. And I don't even own a Chevy. Thank you so much, my learned friend.
Kelly,
I'm still laughing over your
"Twins?? He's twins??? This just gets better and better. How can anyone NOT love this show? It's hysterical. Not on purpose of course, but that's not important."
As for twins -- Zero times two still equals zero. Poor sch..lmazel.
Not on purpose? I wouldn't be so sure of that. Aaron D has got to be in on the joke.
I didn't know you were here! What a nice surprise!
Perhaps you can whip up a few batches of "Meshuga Nuts". I'm sure they'd fly off the shelves at Tal*Mart.
My dear Elna June,
A comment from you always feels like a blessing. And I don't even own a Chevy. Thank you so much, my learned friend.
Kelly,
I'm still laughing over your
"Twins?? He's twins??? This just gets better and better. How can anyone NOT love this show? It's hysterical. Not on purpose of course, but that's not important."
As for twins -- Zero times two still equals zero. Poor sch..lmazel.
Not on purpose? I wouldn't be so sure of that. Aaron D has got to be in on the joke.
About Blanca/Camila and diction --
I watched Eva Luna on and off and found it bad and funny in equal measure. (I know this is a minority opinion. Sorry if I offend those for whom Guy Ecker can do no wrong).
One of the most jarring notes in that show, at least for me, was Blanca Soto's unmodulated, somewhat shrill voice.
I suspect she has been working hard on controlling the tone and pitch of her voice and isn't thinking much about her diction. (It's not as if her character has anything to say.)
I'm not an actor so I wouldn't know for sure but I suspect it's a great challenge to sound natural and conversational while enunciating clearly. It's probably easier to pull something like that off given a gifted and experienced actor, a good director, enough time to study and rehearse the lines before filming and time and budget to do as many takes as you need to get it right. Since those conditions are NEVER present in telenovelas, inexperienced actors are usually the ones who take the hits. The veterans often defend themselves with arms they've honed elsewhere and smuggled onto the set.
I watched Eva Luna on and off and found it bad and funny in equal measure. (I know this is a minority opinion. Sorry if I offend those for whom Guy Ecker can do no wrong).
One of the most jarring notes in that show, at least for me, was Blanca Soto's unmodulated, somewhat shrill voice.
I suspect she has been working hard on controlling the tone and pitch of her voice and isn't thinking much about her diction. (It's not as if her character has anything to say.)
I'm not an actor so I wouldn't know for sure but I suspect it's a great challenge to sound natural and conversational while enunciating clearly. It's probably easier to pull something like that off given a gifted and experienced actor, a good director, enough time to study and rehearse the lines before filming and time and budget to do as many takes as you need to get it right. Since those conditions are NEVER present in telenovelas, inexperienced actors are usually the ones who take the hits. The veterans often defend themselves with arms they've honed elsewhere and smuggled onto the set.
BTW, I *will* be taking a bingo card with me to the premiere of LA CASA DE MI PADRE. So far I've only seen the trailer, and I've already got Gun Fired, Fainting, Kissing in Water, Disrupted Wedding, and Character Travels Out of Country.
Permalink posted by : Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 12:02:00 PM EST
: Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 12:02:00 PM EST
I am so excited about seeing that movie!!!
I hope it is good. Will Ferrell is sort of hit and miss with me. Some of his stuff I love, and other stuff not so much.
I hope it is good. Will Ferrell is sort of hit and miss with me. Some of his stuff I love, and other stuff not so much.
"The veterans often defend themselves with arms they've honed elsewhere and smuggled onto the set."
----
"smuggled" is the perfect word, too. I get the impression that at least on this one, any semblance of "good" was banned from the set.
----
"smuggled" is the perfect word, too. I get the impression that at least on this one, any semblance of "good" was banned from the set.
Novela Maven, thank you for bringing so much joy and delight to my morning with your recap. I haven't had time to read the comments yet but will do so a little later. Once again you make a fabulous something out of what sounded like a dreary nothing. (However the scene with Tony, El Viral and Renato sounds like a hoot. And TWINS?)
I LOVE it when Rabbi Jacob comes to visit. Please tell him to return if he can bear it.
Gracias amigos, for always making me smile and laugh.
I LOVE it when Rabbi Jacob comes to visit. Please tell him to return if he can bear it.
Gracias amigos, for always making me smile and laugh.
NovelaMaven--
I'm so glad Rabbi Jacob did the commentary with your recap last night. Would that we could have had it overlay the actual episode.
It was pretty much of a nothing happening one, so EJ's comment about making something out of nothing is so appropriate. I really needed some of Rabbi Small's Meshuga Nuts to keep me awake.
The only thing that made my eyes open wider (without Nuts) was Doris' hand-made straight jacket. I see others noticed it, too.
Is she trying to set a new fashion trend or is it already well established? (Heaven forfend if either is true.)
I'd love to retro-start my Bingo Card #2. I could add Character Sings and Kidnapping. I'd only need Protagonista engaged to someone other than the Galan to get Bingo (fat chance on this square, though).
Anita
I'm so glad Rabbi Jacob did the commentary with your recap last night. Would that we could have had it overlay the actual episode.
It was pretty much of a nothing happening one, so EJ's comment about making something out of nothing is so appropriate. I really needed some of Rabbi Small's Meshuga Nuts to keep me awake.
The only thing that made my eyes open wider (without Nuts) was Doris' hand-made straight jacket. I see others noticed it, too.
Is she trying to set a new fashion trend or is it already well established? (Heaven forfend if either is true.)
I'd love to retro-start my Bingo Card #2. I could add Character Sings and Kidnapping. I'd only need Protagonista engaged to someone other than the Galan to get Bingo (fat chance on this square, though).
Anita
Sylvia,
So happy to see you back here and glad if reflections on this shambling wreck of a novela made you smile. It's just not Talismania without your avocados brightening up the page.
Anita,
I'm glad you enjoyed the Rabbi's visit. Maybe the DVD of the novela will have a track that includes Rabbi Jacob's commentary ...
So happy to see you back here and glad if reflections on this shambling wreck of a novela made you smile. It's just not Talismania without your avocados brightening up the page.
Anita,
I'm glad you enjoyed the Rabbi's visit. Maybe the DVD of the novela will have a track that includes Rabbi Jacob's commentary ...
Thank you, Novela Maven and Rabbi Jacob!
I think Straitjacketed Schoolmarm is going to be the next hot fashion trend. What was with that skirt and loose blouse anyway? Does she think she can make us forget that she's a whore?
The scenes with Evilra made me laugh the most. Could she act any more suspicious? How has Renato made a career of conning women if he reads people so poorly? Well, I guess that is why he is broke now. Honestly, with the prescription vials...just ignore them, Evilra, and Renato almost certainly won't notice them either if you don't draw attention to them. Ordinary people have prescription bottles; they aren't a neon sign flashing "Murder Happening Here!"
Armie playing twins has a lot of potential for hilarity. Isn't Antonio going to recognize him if they ever do meet?
Julie had a theory on UFCS about Violeta's giant crazy earrings being the source of her malevolent power. That theory was dashed, but it made me wonder what would happen to Antonio if he weren't wearing his magic belt buckle. Can anyone remember scenes where he wasn't wearing it, and how he behaved at the time?
I think Straitjacketed Schoolmarm is going to be the next hot fashion trend. What was with that skirt and loose blouse anyway? Does she think she can make us forget that she's a whore?
The scenes with Evilra made me laugh the most. Could she act any more suspicious? How has Renato made a career of conning women if he reads people so poorly? Well, I guess that is why he is broke now. Honestly, with the prescription vials...just ignore them, Evilra, and Renato almost certainly won't notice them either if you don't draw attention to them. Ordinary people have prescription bottles; they aren't a neon sign flashing "Murder Happening Here!"
Armie playing twins has a lot of potential for hilarity. Isn't Antonio going to recognize him if they ever do meet?
Julie had a theory on UFCS about Violeta's giant crazy earrings being the source of her malevolent power. That theory was dashed, but it made me wonder what would happen to Antonio if he weren't wearing his magic belt buckle. Can anyone remember scenes where he wasn't wearing it, and how he behaved at the time?
I just saw the Bingo discussion on Thursday's line. As Bingo Empress I rule that retroactive marking is absolutely allowed! No picking your card based on prior knowledge, though! Haha. How about once someone gets Bingo, we see if anyone can get to blackout? I wouldn't absolutely rule out an automobile accident...it might happen to someone tragically not driving a Chevy. Or it might demonstrate to us the awesome power of the Chevy in deploying airbags and saving lives despite the accident. Will someone go over a cliff and walk away?
I hope your family is okay, Sylvia! Supportive vibes to you and yours ))))))).
I hope your family is okay, Sylvia! Supportive vibes to you and yours ))))))).
Bingo Empress,
Does a lame pair of glasses qualify as a disguise? How about a Carnival mask?
What if the product(s) placed are considered characters(the Chevys)?
Is Tony's shirtlessness gratuitous or essential?
Carlos
Does a lame pair of glasses qualify as a disguise? How about a Carnival mask?
What if the product(s) placed are considered characters(the Chevys)?
Is Tony's shirtlessness gratuitous or essential?
Carlos
NM, I had the same squashed paragraph problem when I posted Thursday's recap. I ended up erasing the first post and re-pasting in the HTML option rather than the Compose option. Then I had to manually hit Enter twice after each paragraph which was kind of a pain. Stupid blogger.
A wee clarification from Thursday, my brilliant captions were brilliantly not from me. They were all respectfully copied from many of you. For example, "está en la inopia" is from Julia's vocab spreadsheet. See, aren't I a good student?
Only a few of my favorite Mavenisms: "oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!", "three hots and a cot", and "the Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle". So darn funny!! Oh, and every other sentence was funny too. I love how NM pointed out the running joke of malpensadas. Talk about hitting us over the head. Sheesh!
At least Geno and Cami appear to be working, the maids too, nobody else does anything that looks remotely like work.
Wow, with the Rabbi Small books and all the recommendations from Thursday I am going to make a haul at the Library! I can't wait to start reading some of these books.
This is kind of off topic, but all the talk about meshuga reminds me of one of my favorite local bands, Mesugga Beach Party. They mix klezmer and instrumental surf. Even though they have a schtick they are excellent musicians. Check them out if you have time:
Meshugga Beach Party
I know you are all now thinking, "Duh, klezmer and surf, why didn't anyone think of this before?"
I haven't been playing bingo but I'm going to print out a few cards and will definitely bring one to Casa de Mi Padre.
As I suspected I thought the scene with Tony, Ren and El Viral was an absolute scream. It was fun watching EV squirming between Ren and the Belt Buckle.
A question, is El Viral poisoning more pills or adding more poison to the existing pills? If she's got the originals can't she just toss them since she wishes she had never tampered with them in the first place? I guess it's not that simple; it never is.
A wee clarification from Thursday, my brilliant captions were brilliantly not from me. They were all respectfully copied from many of you. For example, "está en la inopia" is from Julia's vocab spreadsheet. See, aren't I a good student?
Only a few of my favorite Mavenisms: "oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!", "three hots and a cot", and "the Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle". So darn funny!! Oh, and every other sentence was funny too. I love how NM pointed out the running joke of malpensadas. Talk about hitting us over the head. Sheesh!
At least Geno and Cami appear to be working, the maids too, nobody else does anything that looks remotely like work.
Wow, with the Rabbi Small books and all the recommendations from Thursday I am going to make a haul at the Library! I can't wait to start reading some of these books.
This is kind of off topic, but all the talk about meshuga reminds me of one of my favorite local bands, Mesugga Beach Party. They mix klezmer and instrumental surf. Even though they have a schtick they are excellent musicians. Check them out if you have time:
Meshugga Beach Party
I know you are all now thinking, "Duh, klezmer and surf, why didn't anyone think of this before?"
I haven't been playing bingo but I'm going to print out a few cards and will definitely bring one to Casa de Mi Padre.
As I suspected I thought the scene with Tony, Ren and El Viral was an absolute scream. It was fun watching EV squirming between Ren and the Belt Buckle.
A question, is El Viral poisoning more pills or adding more poison to the existing pills? If she's got the originals can't she just toss them since she wishes she had never tampered with them in the first place? I guess it's not that simple; it never is.
I just got a ticket notification that "Una Familia con Suerte - El Musical" is coming in March to...FRESNO!!!!
This afternoon I watched an old movie and darn if Don Pigo is not sitting there playing cards, drinking and smoking and what are they playing for - all together now, "tierra", of course.
Rosemary Primera
Rosemary Primera
Permalink posted by : Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 9:06:00 PM EST
: Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 9:06:00 PM EST
Sylvia,
I haven't been able to use the "Compose" option for some time. About half-way through TDA, it started the paragraph squash. Since then I've used the HTML option. I lost all the bells and whistles of "Compose" (Color, font, type size) but at least I could maintain the spacing of the original document.
I wonder if hitting enter twice would work for me? Stupid, yes, but less cumbersome than all the < p > entries.
--------
Speaking of stupid, El Viral feels she has to obey the Belt Buckle because he has her fingerprints on either a vial of poison or a pill bottle. If she refuses to go along with his scheme, he'll make sure the police get the "evidence" they need to charge her with murder or attempted murder. Or so he says.
I assume the pill bottles in the hotel are a fresh set for her to tamper with.
----------
Klezmer and surf -- a marriage made in ... California! I'll have to check it out.
------------
I think you'll like the Rabbi Small books. I was pleasantly surprised to realized there were already some Kemelman fans out there in Carayland.
I haven't been able to use the "Compose" option for some time. About half-way through TDA, it started the paragraph squash. Since then I've used the HTML option. I lost all the bells and whistles of "Compose" (Color, font, type size) but at least I could maintain the spacing of the original document.
I wonder if hitting enter twice would work for me? Stupid, yes, but less cumbersome than all the < p > entries.
--------
Speaking of stupid, El Viral feels she has to obey the Belt Buckle because he has her fingerprints on either a vial of poison or a pill bottle. If she refuses to go along with his scheme, he'll make sure the police get the "evidence" they need to charge her with murder or attempted murder. Or so he says.
I assume the pill bottles in the hotel are a fresh set for her to tamper with.
----------
Klezmer and surf -- a marriage made in ... California! I'll have to check it out.
------------
I think you'll like the Rabbi Small books. I was pleasantly surprised to realized there were already some Kemelman fans out there in Carayland.
NM - Just ordered Friday the Rabbi Slept Late from the library! Thanks for turning me on to it. Dang, I wish we had a monthly Talismaniacs Raisin' Hell Book Club.
Why not make it 3 comments in a row
Sara / Julia - Do you know the day of the Bingo Card link or how can I find it again? Gotta get ready for Casa de Mi Padre!
Blue Lass - are you playing Card 8 again? I think I'll go with 4 this time.
Sara / Julia - Do you know the day of the Bingo Card link or how can I find it again? Gotta get ready for Casa de Mi Padre!
Blue Lass - are you playing Card 8 again? I think I'll go with 4 this time.
Hola Amigos! I'm back from Egypt as of last night (and safe). I had a great time and am very sad to be going back to work tomorrow. Looks like things have not improved on this show since I've been gone.
For those interested, here's a link to my Egypt photos: http://vinette.shutterfly.com/1729
I will also do a write-up of my trip that I'll send out to friends. I'll include those of you whose e-mail addresses I have, but if anyone else is interested, let me know. I'll probably send it out tomorrow night or Tues morning.
For those interested, here's a link to my Egypt photos: http://vinette.shutterfly.com/1729
I will also do a write-up of my trip that I'll send out to friends. I'll include those of you whose e-mail addresses I have, but if anyone else is interested, let me know. I'll probably send it out tomorrow night or Tues morning.
Here are the bingo cards.
Vivi, welcome back! I'd love to read about your trip! Please add me to your list if I'm not already there.
Vivi, welcome back! I'd love to read about your trip! Please add me to your list if I'm not already there.
Sylvia--Is the musical by the same folks that do Glee? Or is it the Little Theatre Group at the Fresno Community Center (with upright piano accompaniment). How much are the tickets?
Sara--Bingo Card #2 is a dud. You get Kissing on Beach, Villain Confesses to Priest, Derailed Wedding and Discovery of Real Parentage. Trouble is, this last one is only remotely possible, and probably not until the last or penultimate episode.
Sara--Bingo Card #2 is a dud. You get Kissing on Beach, Villain Confesses to Priest, Derailed Wedding and Discovery of Real Parentage. Trouble is, this last one is only remotely possible, and probably not until the last or penultimate episode.
RLO--It's Episode #14 for Bingo cards. How far have we sunk that we have to entertain ourselves with bingo when they spent so much money to bring us this low-brow comedy.
Vivi--Welcome back. We were all missing you. Glad you are safe and had a great time. Sorry you don't have a day to recover. I'll check your fotos tomorrow. G'nite All.
Carlos- Essential. Tony's shirtlessness is essential. Keeps us from having to look at his awful, awful hair. (I'd rather run my fingers through Pedro's hair. The hand would just get stuck in Tony's).
Kelly
Kelly
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 5, 2012 at 1:37:00 AM EST
: Monday, March 5, 2012 at 1:37:00 AM EST
Vivi, fantastic pics! Wow, it looks like you had an amazing time. You're a girl after my own heart, taking pictures of the yummy meals.
R la O, no way am I going to Fresno to see a musical, even Una Familia Con Suerte. However I do have tickets to the Aventurera revue which is coming to San Jose at the end of March. I'm hoping to see Eduardo Santamarina (Juan Querendon), Sergio Sendel, Mauricio Islas and of course Ninel Conde and Carmen Salinas up close. I think there will be other stars but I couldn't tell who they are from the poster. It is a modern interpretation of the very famous movie Aventurera from the 1950s.
R la O, no way am I going to Fresno to see a musical, even Una Familia Con Suerte. However I do have tickets to the Aventurera revue which is coming to San Jose at the end of March. I'm hoping to see Eduardo Santamarina (Juan Querendon), Sergio Sendel, Mauricio Islas and of course Ninel Conde and Carmen Salinas up close. I think there will be other stars but I couldn't tell who they are from the poster. It is a modern interpretation of the very famous movie Aventurera from the 1950s.
Anita, I missed your comment while I was commenting (or looking at Vivi's pics).
The tickets range in price from about $42 - $95 and I have no idea who is doing the musical. I got the feeling that it is a touring group.
The tickets range in price from about $42 - $95 and I have no idea who is doing the musical. I got the feeling that it is a touring group.
Oooo Sergio Sendel. I may have to start watching FAMILIA just for him. He's doing a great job of interpreting my ex-boyfriend -- in fact, I think that's how they send him out: "BE Blue Lass's good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend..."
Kelly, I agree with you that Antonio's shirtlessness is non-gratuitous. But Armando's was DEFINITELY uncalled-for, so if you have that square, go for it.
Kelly, I agree with you that Antonio's shirtlessness is non-gratuitous. But Armando's was DEFINITELY uncalled-for, so if you have that square, go for it.
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 5, 2012 at 7:28:00 AM EST
: Monday, March 5, 2012 at 7:28:00 AM EST
I got denied access to the bingo cards using the link in the comments but was able to fly direct by typing the address into the URL:
https://sites.google.com/site/telenovelasdesquiciadas/bingo
I'll be going with #13 for CASA.
https://sites.google.com/site/telenovelasdesquiciadas/bingo
I'll be going with #13 for CASA.
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 5, 2012 at 8:45:00 AM EST
: Monday, March 5, 2012 at 8:45:00 AM EST
VIVI!!!!!!!! Welcome Back!!!!!!! I will look at your pictures in a rested, not rushed state of mind, and I look forward to reading about your wonderful trip. This show has gotten soooo good. It now rivals the excitement of Destinos.
Thanks for the BINGO card links. Sara, you should take Anita's advise and pass on #2. Hey - if Pig could mark his cards the night of the fateful poker game, we can choose what BINGO card we want. Let's just hope they aren't passing out fresh, untainted ones at the theater.
Is everyone going to try to go to the movie the first weekend? Then we could discuss it the following week if El Tal takes a turn for the worse (haha).
Also, I don't know if I'd dare do this alone, but how fun to dress Telenovela Coutre. If we were all going together that would be such a blast! Headbands (Elvira or Matilde style), red off the shoulder dresses, I HEART _____ shirts, feathers, etc. And our guys could go shirtless or scorpion embroidered shirts or windbreakers.
Kelly - Thank you for confirming that the Brylcream look was for my dad in the 60s. Not a good look on our otherwise very handsome AD.
BL - Armando shirtless: Good thing his alter ego persona does not require shirtlessness like a Chippendale dancer or a break-to-commercial horseback rider.
R la O
Thanks for the BINGO card links. Sara, you should take Anita's advise and pass on #2. Hey - if Pig could mark his cards the night of the fateful poker game, we can choose what BINGO card we want. Let's just hope they aren't passing out fresh, untainted ones at the theater.
Is everyone going to try to go to the movie the first weekend? Then we could discuss it the following week if El Tal takes a turn for the worse (haha).
Also, I don't know if I'd dare do this alone, but how fun to dress Telenovela Coutre. If we were all going together that would be such a blast! Headbands (Elvira or Matilde style), red off the shoulder dresses, I HEART _____ shirts, feathers, etc. And our guys could go shirtless or scorpion embroidered shirts or windbreakers.
Kelly - Thank you for confirming that the Brylcream look was for my dad in the 60s. Not a good look on our otherwise very handsome AD.
BL - Armando shirtless: Good thing his alter ego persona does not require shirtlessness like a Chippendale dancer or a break-to-commercial horseback rider.
R la O
zzaNM, thank you for a funny and entertaining recap from a 'nothing happened' episode...
LOVED picturing the room from your depiction...
a few receipts from Yogurt Fusion, a handful of feathers and a cowgirl belt are now cherished relics -- because it made him feel she was there with him.
ITA about LHDM.. in fact i have been watching the colombian ending again since i get so frustrated witht he international one... that we are watching and commenting on, and the rookies are so bummed by it they feel they are watching another novela...
LOVED picturing the room from your depiction...
a few receipts from Yogurt Fusion, a handful of feathers and a cowgirl belt are now cherished relics -- because it made him feel she was there with him.
ITA about LHDM.. in fact i have been watching the colombian ending again since i get so frustrated witht he international one... that we are watching and commenting on, and the rookies are so bummed by it they feel they are watching another novela...
For those of you planning to go to the Gran Estreno of Casa in period dress, Tal*Mart has some new items to offer.
NEW T-SHIRT LINE
I'm with Menso
Menso/a Club (with our names listed on the back)
White, short-sleeved, waffle-weave with pocket emblazoned in the heraldic tradition with an Avocado Rampant and our motto embroidered discreetly underneath—I’m fluent in Snark
I Heart Armani
I HEART my refresh button
¿Qué, Qué, Qué?
NEW LINE OF DISGUISE MERCHANDISE
Fake glasses, but lacking the large nose and a mustache (they fell off during shipment and our superglue employee was let go)
Fake glasses, stylishly different—these are from the Very Clark Kent™ line of fakes
HEADBANDS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Go-to-meetin’ headband (demure and understated)
For evening wear, a rhinestone-studded fake tiara (guaranteed to bring out the worst in men)
OTHER HEAD GEAR
Feathers still popular!!
Very Large Hair Rollers!! Notice to users—-not guaranteed to hold a curl in damp Fresno air.
GROCERY CORNER
Fresno Hash Brownies. They last forever when kept in the freezer. Or so I have head...
Kat Kookies – Not for Cats, just for Kats.
Rabbi Small’s Meshuga Nuts, for munching during any telenovela occasion (except when Sofia is promoting xFinity, because silence is required to absorb all her nuances).
The Manager
NEW T-SHIRT LINE
I'm with Menso
Menso/a Club (with our names listed on the back)
White, short-sleeved, waffle-weave with pocket emblazoned in the heraldic tradition with an Avocado Rampant and our motto embroidered discreetly underneath—I’m fluent in Snark
I Heart Armani
I HEART my refresh button
¿Qué, Qué, Qué?
NEW LINE OF DISGUISE MERCHANDISE
Fake glasses, but lacking the large nose and a mustache (they fell off during shipment and our superglue employee was let go)
Fake glasses, stylishly different—these are from the Very Clark Kent™ line of fakes
HEADBANDS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Go-to-meetin’ headband (demure and understated)
For evening wear, a rhinestone-studded fake tiara (guaranteed to bring out the worst in men)
OTHER HEAD GEAR
Feathers still popular!!
Very Large Hair Rollers!! Notice to users—-not guaranteed to hold a curl in damp Fresno air.
GROCERY CORNER
Fresno Hash Brownies. They last forever when kept in the freezer. Or so I have head...
Kat Kookies – Not for Cats, just for Kats.
Rabbi Small’s Meshuga Nuts, for munching during any telenovela occasion (except when Sofia is promoting xFinity, because silence is required to absorb all her nuances).
The Manager
Anita, don't forget the clearance price (buy 1 get 1 free) bottles of blood pressure medication plus rat poison additive...
Sorry, the new ad in-ad-vertently left out PHARMACY items. Thank you, Ms Martaivett, we will rectify that immediately:
PHARMACY
Clearance price (buy 1 get 1 free) of our 'mystery upgrade' of Amazin Results Brand -- bottles of blood pressure medication (plus rat poison additive). Look for these specially marked bottles at the very back of the shelves.
PHARMACY
Clearance price (buy 1 get 1 free) of our 'mystery upgrade' of Amazin Results Brand -- bottles of blood pressure medication (plus rat poison additive). Look for these specially marked bottles at the very back of the shelves.
Anita - Nice Tal*Mart update just in time for La Casa. So many choices now. What to wear? What to wear? What to ingest? What to ingest? The Fresno Hash Brownies in the freezer sound good. Ahh I miss college.
Medical Update
The combination blood pressure/rat poison pill is not as far-fetched as it might first appear.
Sodium warfarin is probably the most widely sold rat poison. It is also utilized in a number of medical conditions as well.
It is an anticoagulant which works by blocking vitamin K, an important part of the blood coagulation mechanism.
Because of this it is useful in killing rats... they bleed to death.
It is used in low doses to prevent strokes caused by small clots in the treatment of atrial fibrillation and artificial heart valves.
Almost certainly it was used to treat Jorge Salinas (Rogelio in LQNPA) if indeed he suffered from a pulmonary embolism.
Good job, Tal Mart Pharmacy!
Carlos
The combination blood pressure/rat poison pill is not as far-fetched as it might first appear.
Sodium warfarin is probably the most widely sold rat poison. It is also utilized in a number of medical conditions as well.
It is an anticoagulant which works by blocking vitamin K, an important part of the blood coagulation mechanism.
Because of this it is useful in killing rats... they bleed to death.
It is used in low doses to prevent strokes caused by small clots in the treatment of atrial fibrillation and artificial heart valves.
Almost certainly it was used to treat Jorge Salinas (Rogelio in LQNPA) if indeed he suffered from a pulmonary embolism.
Good job, Tal Mart Pharmacy!
Carlos
Oh, how fun, an occasion for Telenovela Couture. I can't decide whether to wear booty shorts with the pockets hanging out, legwarmers, and high heels, or Straitjacket Schoolmarm. Theaters are usually cold so probably Straitjacket Schoolmarm. I hope the concession stand has whiskey!
Never mind, the concession stand doesn't need to have whiskey. I will just carry my own bottle and glass from home. It's not like that glass ever leaves my hand anyway, unless it needs to shift to my other hand so I can fire a lot of bullets into something.
Carlos,
Thank you for highlighting Warfarin and its role in the novela. Here in Wisconsin, we take great pride in this drug -- WARF is short for Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation and you can read all about it here, if you like:
http://toxsci.oxfordjournals.org/content/66/1/4.full
-- and now I feel it is not only CHEESE that makes me feel so fond of the story. Well that and all the beer.
---
Anita,
I do love your attention to detail. The waffle weave on the Mens@ shirts is such an elegant touch.
Thank you for highlighting Warfarin and its role in the novela. Here in Wisconsin, we take great pride in this drug -- WARF is short for Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation and you can read all about it here, if you like:
http://toxsci.oxfordjournals.org/content/66/1/4.full
-- and now I feel it is not only CHEESE that makes me feel so fond of the story. Well that and all the beer.
---
Anita,
I do love your attention to detail. The waffle weave on the Mens@ shirts is such an elegant touch.
Julia, now I understand why theatre floors are so sticky...
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 5, 2012 at 3:27:00 PM EST
: Monday, March 5, 2012 at 3:27:00 PM EST
NovelaMaven, thanks so much for that link. This is a story I was told many years ago in medical school by a pharmacology professor. I had all but forgotten the origin of the drug.
I once had a cost-conscious patient who was taking Coumadin. He recognized the generic name and wanted to buy rat poison in bulk and manufacture his own pills.
I discouraged the idea.
Carlos
I once had a cost-conscious patient who was taking Coumadin. He recognized the generic name and wanted to buy rat poison in bulk and manufacture his own pills.
I discouraged the idea.
Carlos
Carlos, if you were a telenovela doctor, you would at least have taken out a life insurance policy on him.
Permalink posted by : Monday, March 5, 2012 at 5:18:00 PM EST
: Monday, March 5, 2012 at 5:18:00 PM EST
Hi, Vivi and all:
Welcome back from Egypt. Your trip looks just fascinating. Please include me in your update.
Just back from a super-busy couple of days with no time for commenting.
1. I loved the new Tal Mart flyer. Please sign me up for the "Que, Que,Que" v-neck t-shirt, xl, sadly.
2. Also, Anita, Doris may allow us to license and sell her raisin/avo concoctions. We'll have to contact her lawyers.
2. NM and Sylvia I can only echo your frustration with posting on (the new and improved)Blogger.
I am usually so tired by the time I get to posting that I don't edit well anyway and if there are problems posting——well, I tend to throw up my hands in cranky frustration.
3. Blue Lass, If your ex-boyfriend looked and acted like Sergio (one of my telenovios) I am not surprised you stayed with him for a while. Sendel makes me laugh and he is so artful at playing tongue in cheek to the camera.
4. I plan on attending the opening weekend of Casa.
EJ
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Welcome back from Egypt. Your trip looks just fascinating. Please include me in your update.
Just back from a super-busy couple of days with no time for commenting.
1. I loved the new Tal Mart flyer. Please sign me up for the "Que, Que,Que" v-neck t-shirt, xl, sadly.
2. Also, Anita, Doris may allow us to license and sell her raisin/avo concoctions. We'll have to contact her lawyers.
2. NM and Sylvia I can only echo your frustration with posting on (the new and improved)Blogger.
I am usually so tired by the time I get to posting that I don't edit well anyway and if there are problems posting——well, I tend to throw up my hands in cranky frustration.
3. Blue Lass, If your ex-boyfriend looked and acted like Sergio (one of my telenovios) I am not surprised you stayed with him for a while. Sendel makes me laugh and he is so artful at playing tongue in cheek to the camera.
4. I plan on attending the opening weekend of Casa.
EJ
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