Caray, Caray!

Sylvia! You started out with a bang, quoting Marta and then you wrote this line...

"Mr. Rapey Snake on Two Wheels is traveling down a dark road and sees a luscious lovely with her head under her car’s hood and her shapely bootie acting as a bug light for perverts."

Was that a set up for Paolo or what? Talk about just desserts!

I am ROTFLOL. You have not lost your touch amiga! Thank you for a great recap and a LATE night chuckle.

EJ
 

Hee, EJ the original line was "her shapely BUOY acting as a bug light" but I wasn't sure the audience at large would get my particular form of humor. As well they should NOT. (I'm not sure I would trust anyone who laughed at my jokes.)

Oh yes indeed, Paolo got his brulee cremed big time tonight.
 

Cap'n Sylvia - you were in rare form last night! I scared the dog with LOLing so many times. Thank you for this entertaining recrap. I will watch my recording today, maybe, maybe not, because methinks the recrap is more entertaining than the capítulo itself. Oh, wait, swimming scenes, Gabs disrobing ... hhhmmm . . . . .

Dam looks ten times better when he’s not wearing plaid or anything else for that matter.
Bwahahahaaaaa ….. & snort!

Gah. DamLisa would have been better off having a post-boink cigarette, than a post-boink discussion of Gael & Co. !Imbéciles! !Bobos del pueblo!

Gael is really, really acting like a jerk. The fruit has not fallen far from the tree. (is there a Spanish version of this idiom?)

Oh gawd,,,,, I hope Doc Tovar doesn't decide to get the hots for Flor, now that she's working for him. Oh, wait, Flor is redeeming herself and HE is only attracted to BSC Babes.

Thus proving there are antibiotics for pneumonia but no cure for stupid.
Snort!
 

Geez, Cap’n you were on a roll with this one!
Won’t quote ALL my fav giggless but I was chuckling up at the title, then at pretty much EVERY LINE of this masterpiece…
I will limit to the key words…
her whitie lacey butt floss
shoving pills down Dam’s throat = foreplay.
Carm and Gab go shower and to do each others’ hair… they both need it.
Mr. Rapey Snake on Two Wheels
Elisa minus stupid fake eyelashes, Dam minus plaid shirt plus amulet.
Elisa’s birth control = mention Gael’s name.
Flor reassures Gael he’s not Mr. Nobody just because… what we all know.
lit the fire under’s Dam’s saddle.
Dam Satisfied
Speaking of madness, Mr. Bandana Head threatening the stucco.
Carmina hasn’t plunged her head into his lap yet.
gives us a meager ogle at his ripped backside. (and his blue undies)
buttering up Fina
Elisa and Dam go skinny dipping in the ocean. It’s about time for bathing.
utter humiliation= owner of the business dumped his butt, ran off with his best friend and is AWOL while Gael is stuck at work.
Dam tormented because Gael beat him to the infamous habanero popper.
(Dang, that girl gets poetic with a little lovin’ under her belt.)
All you have to do is show up late if at all, verbally abuse the patients, and then blab confidentialities all over town, and marry the doctor’s son.
(Bwahahaha! I totally hope we get to see Sabrina's African husband.)
DrT cool with having another hot babe in the office
And your finale, which was the biggest WTH moment…
She knows whom she loves. She gave herself to him body and soul... (Gag! Folks, I don’t write this drek I just report it.)
there are antibiotics for pneumonia but no cure for stupid.
(Didn’t Dam think she was speaking of Gael when she mentioned the man she loved all her life?... is he THAT dense in his head ir is that just an after-effect of the antibiotics and 48 hr foreplay/roll in sand combo??)

have to do work stuff for a few min... will come back.
 

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i am with doris, your recap is SO MUCH better than the episode itself, especially when we see how STOOPID our trio can be (Dam/Gael/Elisa)
not sure who is acting more stoopider, if Elisa for CONSTANTLY mentioning how they have to go back and give Gael explanations (OF WHAT HE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG?? GMAB) or Dam assuming Elisa talks about Gael as the man she loves... then again, Elisa is torturing Dam intentionally (or she should be cast for a 'Clueless' sequel), Dam has a bit more reason to be confused in his interpretation of her words precisely because she keeps mentioning Gael to his face.
If these two don't stay at their 'fantasy island' until they work out their own issues before returning to LaErmita, it won't be a nice picture... and from the previews we can tell they were not smart enough to do that...
 

Sylvia, I smiled with delight and sputtered in my coffee trying (ineffectively) to hide my laughter. This was amazing.

You could literally repeat the entire recap which was brimming with juicy, delicious lines. My favorites included: "Back on the beach where the blue waves lap languidly on the white shore our two lovers bask in their love for each other", "(Don’t worry honey, you’ll feel better when you find out he boinked your best, or should I say only, friend right before your wedding.)", "gurgle endlessly". "In fact this thought is the one thing besides the bullet in his head that is bothering him" was inspired.

I can't think of any less satisfying coupling than Dam and Elisa. No meaningful conversations, no clearing up issues, no planning together for what happens next. Bruised egos took center stage. With such an idyllic setting, there was strangely, little romance. The scenes seemed staged and emotions displayed as scripted. No wonder our primary interest is with more secondary characters.

It appears the pain left Gabino's head temporarily last night and filtered into Gael's brain. I'm not sure what he was going for but he didn't convey rage or sadness only a series of hideous facial contortions. What happened to this character? And he was so nasty to Paloma too. He knows Elisa never loved him. Cry and move on. No sympathy from me.

Flor as a working gal! Who would have thought. The dear doctor does not love well nor does he hire well albeit the latter with extreme heart.

Agree wiht you and EJ that "Paolo got his brulee cremed big time tonight". How do you come up with these lines????

Happy Friday all!

Diana
 

I am convinced that our wonderful group of recappers could write the best TN in the world, because, as Sylvia you have brilliantly shown us, the recaps far outshine the "dreck" that we are being shown on the screen.

This episode: What a bunch of hooooeeey!! You know there is something seriously wrong with how things are going when the most interesting couple, and the two I get a hoot watching, are the main vilian and villianness. That little dance they had when he first showed up, him flirting, she seeming to not be interested, was campier, funnier and better acted than any of the "sweet nada's" we got on the seashore.

Speaking of those two--I took a page from Judy's "How to watch an aggravating TN" book and just closed my eyes and listened to the music when these two were doing whatever. I'm so blasted bored with these two that I just don't care to watch anymore.

Now Elisa, acting in her best high-school tease, love-spouting best, now has these two at a stage where Dam Stoopid ( and that is being kind)is thinking she would go back to Gael after all. As I hear these Emmy-worthy lines being spewed (NOT!!) I am firmly convinced that our writers are a couple of giggly girls complete with pink gel pens with fuzzy tips sitting in their short shorts and penning their version of things. It's becoming painful with the main foursome.

Paolo--have a nice trip.

Gael, or the person who claims to be Gael, is sliding down that slippery sloop of "get rid of the
2nd banana baggage' stoopidity as well. I'm convinced that the real Gael never came back ehen he left the first time and this is some poor twin he sent back to town so he could live a life of peace. Yeah, that makes me feel much better. I do like your description Sylvia of how humilated the guy has to be feeling though at work. (Nice to see someone showing up at work.)

"Paloma assures Flo that no experience is necessary for the job. All you have to do is show up late if at all, verbally abuse the patients, and then blab confidentialities all over town" YES, THIS!!! Bet Flo turns out to be a perfect assistant.

Do I really want the Doc and Begona back together? Not really, but I guess we're going there?

Tonight we get to see Gael's twin decide he needs to redecorate. Think i'll head to the dart board on the patio and kill some time.
 

I rolled my eyes so much during this episode last night, I thought my eyes would get stuck that way. Thanks Sylvia for allowing me to laugh reliving those moments. Your amazing recap has soothed away most of my annoyance.

Too many good lines to repeat, but the image of Sabrina bringing home her Pan-African (since she seems to be going to ALL of Africa) husband to La Emita. I bet he'd eventually win Begonia over, once she found out he was a rich prince or oil or diamond heir.
 

Sylvia, I nominate this as one of your best...starting with the title, Elisa shoving pills down his throat as foreplay and then your prayer that Gabino and Carmina are on their way to a shower and washing their hair!...and those were just the first few paragraphs...I salute Marta for listing all of your gems because that would take a looooong while.....and then your posting quip that Paolo got his "creme bruléed" big-time! Man, wish you lived next door...I might actually have fun doing yard work if you did.

Thanks for being so dang funny and clever that none of us can list all the gems in your recap. Too too fine!
 

Didn't finish my thought. The image of Sabrina and her husband still has me chuckling.
 

daisynjay...
our writers are a couple of giggly girls complete with pink gel pens with fuzzy tips sitting in their short shorts
and Gael's twin coming back and deciding to do some redecorating...
brilliant!! just brilliant!!
 

Paolo got his "creme bruléed"
yeah i missed that one in my list... but that was GRRRREAT!!
 

It would not surprise me if Doc Tovar reunites with Begonia. Well,,, nothing in this telenovela would surprise me. Even if Kenia show up again and someone wakes up and says it was all a dream.

But I digress,,, Begonia is annoying and incredibly stupid (main requirement to be in this telenovela), but not wicked/evil/twisted, like the women with which(whom?) he has had affairs. Now that he has tested the waters out there, he might figure that Begonia is the lesser of all the evils.
 

Quique wanted to set his dad up with the new receptionist at Proce Castanon. Since the actress is fairly well known, I don't think she'll be wasted. Begonia has had quite a few opportunities to change, but she is small-minded, hypocritical, snobby, meddling, and gossipy. The Doc can stop making bad choices about women (and stop trying to be a hero to all crying women), but Begonia can't change these things about herself, and they drive Doc batty. I don't think there's any hope for them. I see the receptionist in his future.

My thoughts when Flor and Pal were begging him to give Flor a job were, of course he's going to give it to her! She's his beloved daughter from a parallel world called Llena de Amor! :)
 

What we learned last night:

Damian and Elisa are stupid and therefore perfect for each other.

Elisa's recent actions haven't given Damian much reason to trust her. She told him only hours before they had sex that she was a ho like her momma like everyone in town says and implied Gael was the first man in her life. Now, only minutes after having sex with Damian she wants to rush back to talk to Gael. Why?

Well, Elisa feels guilty b/c she knows she used Gael, but what she wants is for Gael to pat her on the head and tell her it's ok for her to be with Damian.

Damian doesn't get off the hook either, because he tends to let little Damian act first, big Damian think about it later. He was quick to jump in Florencia's arms and quick to jump in Elisa's arms but chastizing Elisa for having sex with Gael?

Damian knows as we do that if he hadn't stopped that wedding Gael & Elisa would be having boring sex right now.

Gael needs to sit down. He knows Elisa never loved him as anything but a friend and was using him. To act like they had some great love until Damian came along & took Elisa away. Also, Gael is completely letting Elisa off the hook. She could have married Gael if she wanted to; Damian wouldn't have shot her.

Paloma needs to stop hovering around Gael. He doesn't want you, you were just the IN CASE OF EMERGENCY girl. Gael will never go crazy for you like he does Elisa, you're just the side chick. Move on and go away.

Florencia is the only one of the youngsters still in La Ermita who is "keeping it real." She knows she was wrong, she's trying to make amends and rebuild her life. And her working at Doc Tovar's is just going to put her in more contact with Enrique.

Begona needs to sit down crying about Sabrina going to Africa. At least Sabrina's trying to do something with her life, which is more than we can say for Begona.
 

Vivi in DC - I hope you are right about Doc Tovar and the new receptionist.
Begonia gives me a headache that rivals Gabino's.
 

I would disagree that Begona's not evil or wicked.

On the surface, she's not. You see a silly, aging Mean Girl giggling over the Burn Book.

But that's where the evil comes in. Alfonsina had a reason to hate Estefania. Rosendo was in love with her (even though Rosendo was never inappropiate with Steffi). Rosendo had Estefania on a pedestal that he would never place Alfonsina, even with Alf being the mother of his child.

Alf has no real reason to hate Elisa other than being the child of the woman she hates, but she perceives the Bouvier women as out to get her and her family.

By contrast, Begona had NO reason to hate Estefania or Elisa, but she was the main one spreading vile and nasty rumors about both of them. She had no reason to dislike Paloma (other than Pal being Elisa's friend & the granddaughter of the witch).

I personally believe Begona subconciously knew Sabrina was pregnant and gave her the Abortion Tea, but she definitely knew Paloma was pregnant and gave Enrique some Abortion Tea for her (even though Enrique told her last night she wasn't).

I think Begona is just as wicked as Carmina & Alfonsina because she used her tongue to slash down innocent people so she could hold on to power.
 

You bring up some very good points, Anon207, which I had overlooked.

Begonia's evil/wickedness is more subtle (her tongue), which has me in denial because she has not outright committed premeditated murder. The murders is where I was drawing the categories.

The "premeditated" question in the case of the Abortion Tea could be strongly analyzed and debated.

Viewerville may never know the real truth about that, thus leaving a little dark cloud over B's head.
 

Oh, Cap'n, My Cap'n

Thanks for the funny recap. You made my day.

Anon 207, I agree with you about Begonia.

Last night, the FF button on my TV just was not FAST enough to zoom past the Dumby-Yan/Elisa love scenes. Yeccck.

What a relief to see that Tostacho stand.

Am waiting for Doc Tovar & the receptionista at Elisa's company to get together and open a
home for Fallen Women. That way, el Doctor's need to Save-a-ho & his desire for love/companionship (receptionist) will be met. And, hey, there are two potential lodgers in his waiting room.
 

Ahoy mateys! Thank you all for your comments and your kind words.

Diana, that sentence about the one thought beside the bullet in Gabino's head, that was a direct quote from the episode! No kidding, the writers are definitely giving Salvador The Best lines.

Vivi, Anon and others, I agree that Enrique is most definitely planning to introduce pops to the gorgeous and sweet receptionist at work. Doc and Begone-ya are divorced and she still annoys him every time he sees her. Even the kids don't want them to get back together. I kind of thought she might accidentally off Paolo which would remove them both from the mix. But Gabino took care of that so I'm not sure what will happen to Begone-ya. Nothing I guess, she'll just wander the streets of La Ermita, friendless and alone, for the rest of her days. Works for me.


I love the idea about Doc opening a home for fallen women.
 

Sylvia, I agree with JudyB about this one -- it may be one of your best ever. It is a runaway train of wit. I am in awe. You even captured Gabino's pelvic thrust ("hips through the door first"). Thank you, amiga!

Ok, I'll admit that I am a card-carrying member of the Sap of the Month Club. But I did find a certain psychological truth in the "All I have to go by is what you SAID before" (DamThello)/ "You shouldn't make me say aloud that you are the only man in my life -- you should just KNOW it" (Elisa) dynamic.

Well... onward.

It was hilarious when Gabino suggested to Orange that she find herself a "Toña" to shovel out the quinta now and then.
 

What a hilarious episode and a hilarious recap. You outdid yourself on this one.

I'm now bald from pulling my hair out over Dam Stoopid, Stoopider(Elisa), and Stoopidest(Gael).
 

If I quoted all the funny stuff you wrote, I would just be rewriting the entire recap. I stand up and applaud you. Very well done.
 

I think that the way Gael is acting and talking, that boy has a huge anvil hanging over his head. He can't come out of all this alive. (Not a spoiler, just an opinion.) He will never be normal again after losing Elisa.
 

Gabino has the best lines! When Carmina made him take off the robe, he said something like:"I look better without it anyway."
(Viewerville agrees!)
 

Doris, a Spanish version of "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is "hijo de tigre nace rayado." One of my favorites.
 

ITA Anon, Gabino certainly has had the best lines in quite a few episodes! and last night, between the Tonia reference, the 'one thought beside the bullet in my head' and the 'i look better without it' he was certainly on a roll.
 

FANTASTIC recap, Sylvia -- what wicked fun. I'm in a meeting, but I'll be back later with more appreciative details.
 

Sylvia, this is utter brilliance from beginning to end. You are SO funny. I wish the show writers had a fraction of your clever wit.

Dam Doublestandard has a lot of nerve angsting about Elisa having possibly gone on the little bumper car ride before. He's hardly innocent on that count himself. But I don't care about these two idiots; even if they manage to look happy and settle for el gran fin I'm sure it will only be a matter of minutes until they're both acting like petulant spoiled whiny children and breaking up again.

Another way to say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in Spanish is "de tal palo, tal astilla".
 

Thank you for the awesome recap!!! I've been waiting to get over here to post! This "drek" ...., I agree, but it's entertaining. However, I have to say that while Damian doesn't get off the hook for bedding Flo and then being upset with Elisa for saying that she slept with Gael, I think that Elisa is in the wrong here.

First, let me make sure that I understand (since I didn't see this TN from the beginning.)

Confirming that Elisa did NOT sleep w/ Gael. Right?

And ... confirming that Damian was indeed her first. Right?

Well, in that case, Elisa is wrong, and yes, Cap'n, you are right, men are dense. But we all know that. Elisa thinks differently apparently. She thinks that if you wax poetic and make implications, then the man will get it. Halt! He won't! He needs it spelled out for him ... slowly, and clearly, and repeatedly.

If she loves him, she needs to say, "Damian, I love YOU."

If he was her first, she needs to say "Damian, I held out for you."

If she didn't sleep with Gael, she needs to say, "I didn't sleep with Gael. And by the way, I've never slept with anybody else except YOU. You were my first, and my only. And I want you to be my only forever."

If she doesn't spell it out, he won't get it!

All that talk about giving "mi cuerpo, mi corazon, mi alma" ... giving body, heart, and soul to the man she loves without quantifying who that man is? Damian is a TN man, but still a man (just like men in real life!) ... he needs to have it spelled out!

Ok, rant over. Drek it is, but enjoyable drek. :)
 

Thank you, Cap'n, for making this drivel so entertaining! Paolo getting his brule cremed - hilarious! I guess we can say "RIP" to Paolo.

These truly stoopid characters are giving me a Gabino-sized headache. First, Dr. T is such a disappointment. I think he missed the psych rotation in med. school. He's considering going back to his evil, whiney, manipulative wife. He has learned nothing from his separation and divorce. And he's hired the woman who he knows faked two pregnancies and conspired to abduct his daughter and steal her baby. Flor is not some mixed up, well-intentioned teenager; she was one step away from felony kidnapping.

Anon 207 - completely agree with you about Begone-ya. She's a mean, narcissistic, evil person, and her daughter recognizes it and wants to get far, far away from her.

Someone the other day said that Eliar will end up embarazada like poor pathetic Pal. I agree. It must be a TN rule or a pseudo-medical conundrum that if you have hot, unprotected sex all night and then have the stoopidest fight and break-up the next day, there's definitely going to be a pregnancy. Of course the hijos can grow up to be bff's and repeat the whole crazy cycle. Agh!
Anya
 

I see Edmundo as Gael 25 years earlier, marrying someone he thought was or thought should be his dream...settled down, had a couple of kids...wife is annoying and just not that into him...of course she SAYS she's into him but her actions prove otherwise...and he tries to get some attention and affection from her...but everyone else is more important, so he seeks comfort and affection from other people...and it's the WRONG person...he just wanted to do the right thing...but b/c he wants to do the right thing he ends up doing he wrong thing over and over again...
 

Maybe Begone should follow after Sabrina to Africa. Of course she'll never find her, because they'll each go separately to the travel agent to ask for a ticket to "Africa" so they'll end up a thousand miles apart. Begone could end up with her own pan-African prince. A guy who doesn't know Spanish might find her amusing. He could just tune out all the gossipy babble he wouldn't understand and laugh at her attempts to be the queen of a new society she knows nothing about.
 

Julia,
Another way to say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in Spanish is "de tal palo, tal astilla".

yeah that is the most commonly used spanish counterpart.
 

Thanks for this masterpiece of hilarity, Sylvia. Of course my favorite line is a medical certainty:

"... there are antibiotics for pneumonia but no cure for stupid."

Anon207:

"I think Begona is just as wicked as Carmina & Alfonsina..."

I must strongly disagree. Carmina would probably be insulted by the comparison and Alfonsina would dismiss it with a snap of her fan. I am not a big fan of Begoña but I see her as pathetic rather than evil and I actually pity her. I believe that she has an inadequate personality and uses gossip as a misguided way to gain recognition and approval.

As for the Abortion Tea, I take her at her word that it was intended to cause weight loss. She appeared genuinely remorseful for what happened to Sabrina.

I wonder if we've seen the last of Paolo? I certainly hope not. He was alive when they closed the trunk.

Since there's quite a bit of time left before this wraps up, wouldn't it be neat if we had a flash(way)back with Augusto, Estefania, Carmina, Rosendo, Alfonsina, and Padre Lupe as young people so we could understand better what made them the way they were when we joined them?

Carlos








 

I'm pretty sure Doc T is done with Begone(great nickname!) para siempre. Julia, your plot for her is very kind.

Anon, ITA that Doc has done the wrong thing over and over, but with his latest rejection of Carmina he seems to have finally opened his eyes. Hopefully he will stop trying to save his next love and just try to have fun and be friends. What a novel concept for this town.

Now wait a minute, I did not say MEN are dense but I certainly implied that Damian is. Yes, he is hopelessly dense in so many ways. Too many to list actually.

Carlos, I would love to see some flashbacks of those folks as younguns.
 

Such fun! It took me forever to whittle down my favorite lines to my self-imposed limit of five...but here goes:

- Carmina must be slightly put off by this because she hasn’t plunged her head into his lap yet.

- Elisa and Dam go skinny dipping in the ocean. It’s about time some sort of bathing is involved.

- Maybe the workers don’t even know who Elisa is since she’s never there and nobody was at the wedding anyway. No wonder they looked confused.

- Paloma assures Flor that no experience is necessary for the job. All you have to do is show up late if at all, verbally abuse the patients, and then blab confidentialities all over town.

...and the winner:

- Oh goodie, the Tostacho stand!

 

Sylvia, I'm going to have to buy screen wipes in the giant economy size, or swear off liquid of any kind while reading your recaps. You spun straw into gold, girl.

Poor Gael, Tacher is so talented, yet the dreck he is given to work with is just pathetic.

More Maru, more horsies... (do we have a horse table on the patio?)
 

Who is the REAL Rosendo...that's what I want to know. I've said all along that Rosendo is the 'real' story.

Rosendo started it and his story had better finish it.
 

Anon207, I agree with your comments about Begonia.
 

Sylvia, how do you do it? You have a delightful mind. There wasn’t one really funny minute (with the exception of the Gabino/robe comment) in the entire capitulo, but your recap was hilarious. My favorite, “her shapely bootie acting as a bug light for perverts.” A bug light for perverts.....that visualization is PRICELESS! I don’t know that I’ll ever look at a yellow bug light in the same way again.

Our novela interpretation of “From Here to Eternity” lasted about 24 hours and then Damian and Elisa were back to their regular interminable, stoopid, low blow fighting. The only thing I can say is that most likely the third time is the charm, there IS a little Arango criatura on the way. Any bets on when the first fainting spell happens?

Begonia is a “small minded” gossip, but her hubby is a foolish serial philanderer. (I don't think she knowingly aborted her nieto!) In El Fin, he will be happy with some hot mujer and ole B will end up alone? I hope this isn’t how their story ends. No justice there.....
 

"And he's hired the woman who he knows faked two pregnancies and conspired to abduct his daughter and steal her baby. Flor is not some mixed up, well-intentioned teenager; she was one step away from felony kidnapping."

Dr. Tovar never found out about Flo's plans for Sabrina....neither Enrique nor Sabrina told him.
 

Great recap. Gab's line about looking better without clothes was hilarious!

When Elisa was telling Damian about "the man" she gave her heart, body, and soul too I was screaming at my TV "She is talking about you, idiot! You were her first, not Gael!" Well I am looking forward to seeing Gael's reaction tonight when Elisa tells him that she stayed with Damian willingly.
--TF