Caray, Caray!

Before we get started, let me just mention that the tan leather patches on Mario's Jeans look like windows to a naked butt. Rather distracting, wouldn't you say?

Speak of the devil - Pluto brings a gang of iffy-looking armed goon guys to threaten the poor pants-challenged gentleman. Pluti's plot has gone awry with the discovery that Mario actually likes Lalo. Pluto, in his best hoarse and menacing whisper, puts a gun to Mario's head and lets him know that NO one will stop him from marrying Helena.

Santi catches Fernando on a dating site or something, trying to find proof of his wife's infidelity. I don't even have it in me to a venture a guess as to how he thought that was going to get him anywhere. Santi snorts. He wants no part of these "bobadas."

Mario gives in and makes an appearance at  Lalo's school to tell the boy he's going back to the States. The director of the school sees him there and calls Helena, but rather than approach the strange man chatting with a young student, the director stands behind Lalo, clucking and frowning. Poor kid, he's not taking this so well. Mario's jeans pockets still look like butt windows as he walks away. Before he leaves, he gives Lalo a fat envelope stuffed with cash (presumably the bribe he got for showing up in the first place - how sweet). Helena and her parents arrive to find the man has already left, moments too late for a  huge melodramatic confrontation. Lalo tearfully hugs his mom while Angry Bad Dad gives his best scowl.

Fernie has gone 100% lunatic, creepily staring at his wife, "observing," shining a flashlight in her eyes, and generally talking like, well, a lunatic. What a baby!

Pluto, his thugs, and mario, are all wedged onto some uncomfortable-looking bench somewhere (the airport? airports don't have public outdoor benches). Pluto dials up Helena and thrusts the phone at Mario, feeding him lines while the menacing goons menace and goon. He makes Mario say he's leaving forever, basically, and then grabs the phone back immediately to mug and gloat to Helena.

Geez, what does Mimi want from Adriano? She leans her preposterous bosom over his desk, squishes it around, and generally makes a show-stopping spectacle of herself for his benefit. At first he looks a little overwhelmed in such a hilariously pathetic way that I can't help but laugh!

Pluto bumps into Eva in the hall and tries to chew her out for a buffoon, but she gives him a solid knee in the groin and proceeds to lecture him on manners (forget stones and glass houses, she's mounted a trebuchet in her glass castle). He hits the deck, gasping and moaning for the benefit of all and sundry. He is muy impactada. Unfortunately, Helena is sympathetic to him and takes him into her office. Grrr, now he has a chance to play forgiving and gracious. But Eva marches in and pretends to apologize while continuing to menacingly knee the air and frighten a cringing Pluti. Helena really whips out the riot act on Eva. How can a woman of your age act this way? You almost hit Mario! I'm sick of you tampering with my life! Forget that you were ever my friend! Ouch!

Eva makes it to the hall before crying, and she meets up with Marcela who is similarly tearful after Fernie's latest interrogation.

For his part, Fernie has never been pictured doing an ounce of work! But now he has a reason - he's presently useless because he's a TOTAL WRECK, sobbing and moaning and such!

Eva comes over for dinner, and Fernie explodes when he gets home, revealing everything about the lengerie and accusing her of the very worst. Eva comes in for the defense, calling him all kinds of names like bestia belcibu (beelzebub, I'm not clear on the spelling). The "caveman" orders her out of the house, and she grudgingly backs out, giving him scary eyes.

Holy crap Mimi is actually pursuing Adriano. He peeps into her office, claiming he was looking for Eva, . She says "my cousin has certain compromises, don't bother with her, but I have nothing of the sort!" He whips out a rose (Adriano does magic!) and we see some more bosom.

Marcela speaks very candidly and honestly to her husband about how bad their relationship is (we never talk, we never live harmoniously together, and we never do anything romantic), but all Fernie can think about is the sex. She explains why she bought the lingerie, very candidly and sadly, and the jerk bolts out the door.

But good news, he returns with flowers and an almost apology ("I know that I was half a brute"). Seriously bro, you were all brute and then some. Nonetheless, apology accepted (by her, anyway, if not by me). "Hazme tuyo, flaca." And she does.

Meanwhile, Helena is hunting for Eva. Wu-oh! She finds a weak link in Mimi's vapid receptionist, who tells him that Eva lives there, and in fact leads her to the spot. Right behind the door that Eva is knocking on, Juan, in full two-face mode (halfway into his lady-stuff), prepares to open the door but has an inkling and looks through the peephole to make sure it's Mimi. Recording the show and re-watching it would be worthwhile if only to see the hilarious half-made-up gaping-jawed expression on Juan's face when he sees Helena!

Labels: por-ella