Caray, Caray!

　

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, We have a new communique in the form of a Bark-O-Gram, that I had to get a dog whisperer to translate for me and here it is:

To The Patio Peeps: Thanks for caring about what happens to me/stop/ I have a new name/stop/Not happy with Monet/stop/Would love for people to call me Balzac as you Patio Peeps do/stop/ A gang of German Shephards and Pit Bulls stole my beret/stop/I am happy I found the Chefy Guy/stop/ He fed me premium French Bread and Gourmet dog food/stop/ He and the Angel hugged me and played with me/stop/When I see the Odious Sulphurous One I'm a gonna bite her/stop/Didn't know my Master had come to visit the Chefy Guy/stop/Maybe he'll come back/stop/Meantime lovin' it here and they are taking very good care of me/stop/ I have to toodle off now so many wags and kisses, Balzac XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Now on to the recap. We start this epi with Nikki cuttin the cheese and then hiding it and Ms Vikki and Tomi come in and she assures her Mami that she is super fresh and mega cool. Ms Vikki wants to know about the therapy but Nikki so don't wanna talk about it, stalks off and Tomi tells Ms Vikki she will go after her. The Angel has come in, feeling bad about keeping secrets from Ms Vikki, but she really doesn't want to hear it. She isn't hurt by what he did, now if Tomi would keep things from her, she'd be upset, but hey, the Angel is only her bodyguard, not her friend, got that? Yeah, he gets it, but doesn't wanna. Pobrecito!

I'm asking you sugar, would I lie to you?

So we have the literally lying liar, lyin' in his hospital bed, jus' a lying to his daughter Adri, bout sending Salsero after that doc to get some truthiness from him. But he won't rest, no siree Bob he won't until that darn doctor will, be truthy and tell what happened to his grandchild. She doesn't beleive him of course. No matter, he knows what he knows and he tried to help her in her time of need, with all the complications from the labor she suffered, he never even saw his grandchild. Is his nose growing yet? Anyhoo, he wants to know what she is gonna do now? Of course, search for her Lucia, and when she finds her, she'll know what really happened. So Adri asks him one more time, what else do you know Papi, he tells her she already knows what he knows. The Don has spoken and Adri goes.

The Way We Were

So Felipe is playing sort of on a piano in a shop and guess who is there looking at music? Anyone? PauToo of course, not soggy at all and all dried out, with a smile on her face, as Felipe approaches her to say hidey ho, neighbor oh. They actually have a civil conversation, reminicing about old times, her new job as the Ms Vikki's piano teacher, how she taught other students when she and Felipe were married, but she had to give that up when his gambling became really bad. They would like to turn back the hands of time, cause Felipe loved her lasagne, no one ever made it as well, and what a coinky dink, she is making some tonight and how about coming for dinner? He'd be delighted and will bring the wine. Ooooo la la, jus' sayin'

You don't tug on Superman's Cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't mess around with the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Dances, dah, dah, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee

Jean Marie is looking for Monet (Balzac) and finds him and cradles him in his arms and takes him from the bodyguard quarters as Guzmi and a very injured Dances come in. Jean Marie wants to know what happened to Dances? Some gang of guys tried to mug him. Dances is wearing those sunglasses, so we know he is, shall we say, stretching the truth, so to speak? Anyhoo, Jean Marie thinks he looks like a Christ on the cross, he is so beat up. Dances asks Jean Marie not to tell anyone he saw him this way, and to get him some ice. Jean Marie still wants to know, but on second thought would rather not and he goes to get the ice. So now Guzmi and Dances are alone and talking about what happened. Guzmi wants Dances to go to the popos and tell them about the beating. Dances nixes that and tells Guzmi he just needs ice, a good face wash and that will be fine. leo the low wanted revenge for the beating that Dances gave him. leo is pithed cause Dances is seeing Betty and the low one hates that. Dances doesn't want to make a fuss, but he won't be intimidated by the low one. Guzmi so doesn't agree with that. Dances wants to handle it his way, he ain't sending the low one to the hoosegow, cause he wants to get in like Flynn with Guillo,and he doesn't want pressure put on Betty to stay with the low one. Guzmi has to agree to do it Dances' way and he does. Now they gotta keep a better eye on Betty to protect her from the low one. They will ensure she doesn't go out alone and Guzmi will get her some pepper spray. Also Dances wants to go talk to Betty. We'll get back to Dances later.

Adri's got a gun:

PauToo is at her door, about to unlock it and here is Adri and PauToo asks her, You again? Adri assures PauToo they got a lot to talk about and pulls that gun from her multipurpose purse and tells PauToo to get the door open. We'll get back to them.

He's My Papi and I'll talk if I want to, talk if I want to, talk if I want to, You'd talk too if you were dazed and confused:

Tomi has made it to Nikki's room and is trying to get some sort of info about the therapy from her. Tomi chides Nikki for her messy dresser drawers. Nikki thinks Tomi is there, just to keep an eye on her. Tomi says that so ain't so. Nikki wants her to buy a forest and get lost in it, OKAY, cause Nikki says Tomi is acting like when Nikki was little and Tomi was afraid she was gonna fall down those stairs. Tomi says she just loves her Nikki. So now Nikki wants some truthiness from Tomi and wants to know what Tomi thinks of CoyBoyToyRoy, and don't think, just tell already. Well Tomi lists the obvious, handsome, great tennis player, cheerful, if they only knew. Nikki doesn't want the obvious she wants the truthiness already, so Tomi tells Nikki she thinks that CoyboytoyRoy is an immature ass, er, immature, when there is a knock and it is,wait for it, Snappy Papi of course. Tomi leaves them so Snappy Papi and his Princessa can have a little chat. So Snappy Papi says talkin' about CoyBoyToyRoy, eh? Snappy Papi just saw Milton, ToyRoy's Papi, and boy is the boy all excited about Nikki. Nikki admits he calls her all the time and is talking about marryin' her. Well, Snappy Papi thinks it's a great idea, why not get rid of his problem, er, marry her off, er, marry BoytoyRoy? It's not a crazy idea!!!! We'll get back to them.

Her Whole world has come undone:

PauToo manages to get the door open and they go inside and Pau asks her to just put the gun down. Adri is so not obliging, doncha know. She has nothing to lose anymore. She already lost her daughter, she don't care what else she loses. Pau just doesn't want her to do anything crazy. Well, Adri has had enough, she don't care what happens to her, she has been in a prison for lo these many years, a prison of sadness and desperation not knowing what happened to her daughter, she almost lost her mind. I'd say she's already there, si? Still pointing the gun at Pau, Adri thinks she is hiding something, Pau swears she isn't and please don't kill her. She'll talk to her, but only when she drops the gun. Adri says no can do, the doc that delivered the baby has gone away, Adri found rocks in the baby's grave, nobody, but nobody will tell her anything and she just can't take anymore, doncha see? Pau tells her she knows her pain, she is a mother too, but Adri won't gain anything by killing her. Adri starts to cry and gets on her knees and sobs. The gun is lowered. Pau takes her in her arms and both sob as if their hearts were breaking. We'll get back to them.

The Art of the Con:

Nikki wants to know if Snappy Papi thinks it's odd that BoyToyRoy is already talkin' marriage. So the con begins. The Snappi Papi, says well boys don't marry today unless they are really in lurrvvveeee! He may want her to be by his side during his many travels. Uh, huh! And apparantly Roy is soooo in lurrvve with Nikki! So it's ok to get engaged and have a SUPER WOW wedding. Sure why not, from the Snappy one. After all they know his family, have known them foreva, he was Nikki's first boyfriend, and as a matter of fact one Cristmas, Nikki swore Roy would be the guy she married. Nikki needs to go, er ,needs a change and this is just the ticket to do it. Can I slap him, already??? So Nikki wants to know again if Snappi Papi accepts Roy for a future SIL? About this time Guzmi is by the doorway of Nikki's room and he hears the convo going on inside. So Snappy says why not marry Roy, plan the wedding ASAP, er, as soon as you want to, the house could do well without, er, happiness, and this is just the ticket, er, the way to do it, er, the wedding would be so welcome, my only daughter is gettin' married! Nikki's face tells the story of dazed and confused and Guzmi hearing all of this is way beyond pithed, already!

The Calm of the Pau:

So Pau has brought some water for Adri after the crying jag and is carefully tiptoeing toward her, when Adri decides it is time to go. Since Pau really can't tell her anything, she wants Pau to think about Adri, what would she do to regain a child in her place, what if she lost a child, what lengths would she go to? Adri wants Pau to think on it. Adri reaches into her purse and Pau cringes thinking the gun is coming back out, but Adri just gives her a calling card with her number in case she has a change of heart and Adri is gonna pray for Pau to take pity on her and tell her what she knows and bids her good night. So Pau is about to let her go, when all of a sudden, a calm has come upon Pau and she tells Adri some truthiness. She tells Adri, are you ready, as if we didn't know, that the Don gave Lucia away. That's right gave Lucia away. Adri can't beleive it and says What???? That's all Pau knows she tells Adri, the Don told the Pau that when Lucia was born he gave her away. Adri is sooo weak in the knees she almost collapses and the Pau has to sit her down on the sofa. We'll get back to them.

Conjuction Junction, What's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses!

We hear Ms Vikki, she is writing, in voice over about "She felt the man's distance and her soul grieved over the chasm" when the Angel knocks on the door. She wants to know what he wants. He wants to know if she is still writing the bodyguard/patrona story. Yeah, and how is it going he wants to know. It's fine. Now the Angel needs a little favor, he needs to go out to have a meet. She says what again? He asks if he already asked her, well yeah. If he needs to meet someone Ms Vikki tells him then have them come over, but in the kitchen if you please, don't want people running all over her house, doncha know. So he can't go out? Uh, no, not so much. So he thanks her and goes and she goes back to the writing, but can't concentrate, removes her glasses, and looks like she is having a little talk with herself about what a bitchy witchy she is. Ah,,,, the yearning.

The Truthiness of the Pau:

So now a calm Pau and Adri are sitting on the sofa, and Pau is spilling the truthiness. So Adri repeats what Pau just said, the Don gave her daughter, Lucia away, to whom did he give Lucia? Pau doesn't know, and she tells Adri the Don never told her to whom, she swears on her children, doncha know. So Adri say she knew it, she just knew it. Pau has her look on the bright side, at least she now knows for sure her Lucia is alive, the baby was born alive and the Don gave her away. Adri wants to know why her Daddy Don would do this to her? So Pau has some 'splain' to do. She tells Pau the Don thought Adri was too young to have a baby, it would have been a hassle for her, no respect from anyone and a bad thing for the family as in shame doncha know, Can't be havin' that. Adri is very upset cause she adored her Daddy Don back then and can't beleive he did this to her. Pau is sorry she told her, but kinda glad cause she's been the secret lova of her Daddy Don all these years and she feels like a criminal cause her only sin was lovin' the Daddy Don and this secret she just couldnt' keep about the baby. Adri understands Pau now she says. And no worries, Adri will never tell Daddy Don, Pau told on him. Pau thanks her, but Adri thanks her back for the truthy info, it was important for Adri to know. Now Pau has some advice for Adri. Put the gun away permentantly for Lucia's sake. Adri goes for realz this time and Pau sinks in her chair and breathes a huge sigh of relief.

Guillo and burgers and divorcing ole leo, his name's not Salsero, it's Santino, these are a few of my favorite things:

So Lili and Betty are having a little convo about making those burgers for Guillo, he helped, made a mess, but doesn't matter, he had a good time, and Betty is so ready to divorce the low one and Guillo will just have to accept it, and hey he'll grow to love Santino, doncha know. Betty thanks Lili for cleaning up the mess. So Lili asks about Salsero, oh, no not Salsero, his name is Santino, if you please. So Lili corrects herself and Betty tells her with everything she went thru with leo she now has a Real Man in Santino. Oh, the blushes, jus' sayin'. Lili wants her to be careful she just met Santino and Betty promises she will be, when the doorbell rings. Betty asks who it is and of course it's Santino. Betty is all excited and Lili will make herself scarce by cleaning up and seeing to the plants and Betty opens the door. Santino is standing there, lookin' like Sonny Crockett on a very bad day, and removes his sunglasses. Betty sees the damage to his face and wants to know what happened to him? He wants some truthiness from Betty too. What did leo do when he kidnapped Betty? Did he rape her? Cause if he did, Santino is gonna kill him! Betty is very upset and pray to Dios to prevent a tragedy and then she looks Santino in the eyes and says nothing happened! Santino wants to know if she's sure. Course she is, cause leo only lied to cause trouble between her and Santino. Santino is glad leo took out his frustrations on him and not Betty. leo better neva lay a hand on Betty again and leo betta stay away from Betty! We'll get back to our bruised and battered couple in a minute.

Cards, and Phone Calls and Futures, oh my:

Felipe has come by for a little visit and Tomi is gonna read the cards for him. Felipe is agast! Tomi said she couldn't read cards he says. Well, she's learned. Felpie is excited and Jean Marie is too, cause he's next. He wants to know how it will be between him and Estefano. Tomi tells Jean Marie to hush so she can read the cards. So Felipe picks three cards and Tomi starts the reading. Someone from Felipe's past is coming back, it's a woman, a woman he can never forget! Felipe doesn't want to get his hopes up, but Tomi swears it's in the cards. Felipe's cell phone rings and he excuses himself as he gets it. It's Pau of course telling Felipe she's running late and how about he comes over in let's say, an hour? Felipe is pleased as punch and tells Tomi he has gotta go, thanks for the reading, he loves her and he goes. Jean Marie wants his turn now, ya know, Estefano, and the house phone buzzes and Angel goes to get it, it's for him doncha know! So Angel tells the person on the other end to let his visitor in, and by the by bring his visitor in and hangs up. Angel turns to Polita, Jean Marie and Tomi and asks for some alone time with his visitor. Well, Jean Marie isn't happy, but Tomi tells Jean Marie and Polita if the Angel wants some alone time, then so shall it be. Tomi has spoken and they go. In come Zambrano and Opalina and Opalina and the Angel have a big ole hug and Angel is so happy to see his "Sissy" again. We'll get back to them in a tic.

The Couch Cuddle and It's Just a Little Crush:

So Betty and Santino are now on the couch cuddling, awwww! Santino wants Betty to promise she won't go out alone, let her brother Guzmi or let Santino know where she is going, not stalking her just very concerned, she pinky promises and now Santino would like to take her out for some coffee. It's just downstairs, but Betty doesn't wanna cause Guillo is asleep, Santino thinks it would be ok, but Betty doesn't want to leave him alone and then decides to go with him, but will ask Lili to keep an eye on Guillo while she's gone. So Betty asks Lili and of course it's ok. No worries. They go and then Lili remembers her Mama and what she said about Santino and the dreaded Kendho, and decides to call her. There is no answer, Lili thinks she must be on the plane to Cozumel by now and leaves a voice mail about missing her Mama, just wanted to say hi, call when you get in so I know you are ok, and lots of kisses. The doorbell rings again, and Lili answers it and it's her main heartthrob, er, her boy toy, er her crush. My oh, my she is playing with that hair again, giving Guzmi all kinds of hints, which he doesn't get of course, but Lili is so happy to see him! Well Guzmi has come to see Betty and Lili explains where she is. Well, Guzmi has brought something for Betty's protection, looks like the pepper spray and will just go in to see Guillo and Lili sighs! We'll get back to them.

The Seer and the Angel With Ms Vikki writing her spicy novel:

So Angel is talking to Opalina and tells her he can't tell Ms Vikki what he knows, the secrets ya know. He's in a tough situation! Opalina would love to meet her. Meantime, Ms Vikki is writing some more of her novel and we hear her say, His distance frightened her, his nearness, his smile that lights up a room,well not that, but you get the drift, his nearness to her made her feel safe. So now back to Angel and Opalina. Angel complains that Ms Vikki is cold toward him, he feels a pulling away and he feels so guilty, and it hurts him! Meantime back to Ms Vikki writing. She writes that there is a distance between them, she just wants to get closer to his skin, his smell, and that strange feeling that feels like love. Ok, now does anyone else think this is starting to sound like a Harlequin Romance? All that's missing is Angel on the cover of the novel, half naked and clinging to Ms Vikki who is in a pegnoir, jus' sayin'. Anyhoo, Angel tells Opalina that he'll never feel close to Ms Vikki again unless he tells her the truthiness, doncha know. But he can't, he just can't. He wants to turn back the clock, to when he was innocent and he and Opalina didn't have a care in the world. Opalina tells the Angel this is easy, just decide already! So Ms Vikki with the writing again. She couldn't decide to meet her fate, fear ruled her body and soul, would she be able to overcome these, to let go of the past and throw herself into a new adventure? Now the Angel and Opalina. The Angel doesn't know how he feels! Oh, noes!! He can't stand it anymore, he's desperate doncha know! Opalina tells him he knows what to do and to stop being afraid of his destiny, listen to his heart cause the answer is there. Angel just can't take it anymore and sobbing, he hugs Opaline, but Ruh, Roh, Ms Vikki sees this and so ain't pleased!

It's Just a little Crush:

So Guzmi has made it out of Guillo's room and Lili takes this time to grab his hands so she can talk to him. He wants to know what she wants. She wants to be more than friends doncha know, er she wants to be his friend. He insists that's what he is. Well, Lili tells him that Polita is her only friend and Lili would like to be closer to Guzmi. He is tryin' not to do the eye roll as he tells her his work schedule doesn't allow alot of time off and she understands, course she does, as her face falls. He tells her he has gotta go, tell Betty he came by and gives her a peck on the cheek, Sigh, from our Lili as she thinks to herself she wants to be more than friends and that she lurrrrves her some Guzmi, but he only sees her as a friend or a little sister, and I bet she won't wash her face after that little smoochie, sigh!

It's hard to love somebody, especially when they don't belong to you, cause they think your lovin' someone else:

So Ms Vikki makes her presence known to Angel and Opalina and says good evening. So Opalina introduces herself to Ms Vikki as the Angel's bestie, ya know friend. Ms Vikki isn't sold on this and says so you're friends??? Hmmmm! Opalina tells her yeah and not only that she knows the Angel's heart, doncha know. Ms Vikki looks like she wants to hurl her out the door, jus' sayin'. Angel introduces Opalina to his patrona, Ms Vikki. So now Ms Vikki looks fit to be tied and tries to get outta there, but the Angel insists he wants to know if she needs anything, Opalina is lookin' uncomfortable, like she is stuck in the middle and Ms Vikki tells Angel to take care of his guest and she goes, and Opalina is getting it and tells Angel that Ms Vikki is, wait for it, jealous, ya think! Angel so can't beleive it! So after Ms Vikki goes Opalina decides to leave too, to avoid anymore uncomfortableness so to speak and Opalina gives him the Irish Blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm against your face,

May the rain fall softly upon your fields,

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

And with this wonderful saying, Opalina bids the Angel good night.

The Days of Wine and Roses and You:

Felipe has made it to Pau's place and ohhhh looky here, he has brought her flowers and wine, how sweet! The flowers are for the ones he never sent and Pau so appreciates them cause she needed a pick me up, just about now, doncha know, what a day she's had, but she doesnt' tell him that. Just that she needed this pick me up. She just appreciates that he is there, and never forgot her favorite flowers. He hasn't forgotten a thing about their life before. She, Oh, Felipe's him, and while she puts the flowers in water he can open the wine. Hmmmmmm.

Sweet Papi Calls His Girl:

So the Angel calls his Lili to make sure everything is honkey dorey, so to speak. He ain't spying, just wanted to know if things are ok. She is a young woman now, don't think she's a baby, but to him, she'll always be his little girl. He'll talk to her later, and he loves her. Tomi has come in and hears this, and even Tomi reminds him that Lili is a young lady but to him she is still his little girl. Now Tomi wants to know all about that lady who came to see Angel. She is a mystic, si? Tomi just got that vibe. Angel tells Tomi that yes, indeedy Opalina is a mystic she reads shells, doncha know. Tomi so wants to learn how to do that, but the Angel tells Tomi it is a true gift and only done by Opalina for people she wants to help and has feelings for. Tomi just wants to get togther with Opalina, give her some help, get Tomi an appointment with her already! The Angel will see what he can do, after all Tomi knows all about the Chinese Horoscope, lol. So Ms Vikki comes in about this time and Tomi tells her that the lady who came to see Angel has a special gift and that's precisely why Ms Vikki has come to talk to the Angel. Ruh Roh. So Tomi goes so the Angel and Ms Vikki can have some alone time, so to speak.

Angel feels like Bogart in a crazy movie, but Bogie and Angel never beg:

So the Angel gets vocally slapped upside the head, when Ms Vikki tells the Angel she so DOESN'T approve of him bringing his other women, er his fancy pieces, er his Mistresses to her home. She is very anti-Mistress doncha know! So Angel can't beleive what he is hearing, and Ms Vikki don't wanna hear no buts, doncha know. Angel tries to tell Ms Vikki that Opalina is his soul sista, doncha know. Ms Vikki is like surrrrre, soul sista, I gotch ya! When clearly she just doesn't get it. No siree Bob she don't. The Angel didn't think it would bother Ms Vikki cause Opalina is his spirtual guide so to speak. Well, Ms Vikki so doesn't wanna hear it, cause she is so eaten up by the jealousy, won't listen and tosses her head in her best imitation of Scarlett O'Hara. Fiddle dee dee, is basically what she says and tells Angel oh, sure she is a spiritual guide. Angel said he would never cheat on his wifey pooh, and yet this relationship is spiritual, yeah right, sure, sure! So The Angel has had quite enough and says well, maybe she is more to me, as in more than spiritual and the Angel goes, pithed as hell, while Ms Vikki is trying to close her impactada mouth from the jaw dropping that just occured and here we leave this epi.

Avances:

Adri has that gun and is shooting someone!

Angel and Ms Vikki have a confab with touching of hands and verklempt looks, jus' sayin!

Tune in Lunes to find out what happens!

Labels: Amores