Tuesday, May 21, 2013

PEAM, Tuesday 5/21/13 (#52): Thanks, I Needed That

(Video here. This isn't the one I remember most vividly, but it's the best I could find.)

REWIND: Valentina asks Eli if it's true that he and Mommy are getting divorced.

Rogue's car runs out of gas, and he abandons it on the road. He doesn't pull off to the side of the road, mind you. He just leaves it on the-right-of-way while he and Patymelt hike to the nearest gas station, 1 km away. (Don't cry for them - that's less than one mile.) He lets Paty carry the gas can. (He'd better hope she doesn't have a lighter. She is fighting for him why, exactly? He is racking up a serious karma bill.) She points out that he has a sunburn on just one side of his face.

At the premarital counseling, Padre Diego wants Alma and Chucho to tell the group how they met. Chucho summarizes this entire telenovela so far, starting with the falling bucket in Episode Two. He reveals everything that's in his heart for Alma.

Alma sniffles as Chucho concludes his story. He says they eventually realized that they couldn't live without one another. Alma's nose turns pink. Their audience demands that they kiss. The priest roars his approval.

Embarrassed and relieved, Alma and Chucho rush back to their seats - but the padre isn't done with them yet. Now it's Alma's turn to explain why their love will endure. Alma says that... Rogelio... (it took her a moment to remember his name) is noble and loyal and would never betray her or lie to her. He's not selfish, he helps her whenever he can, and he's her best friend, offering unconditional friendship. He's sensitive and optimistic, always with a smile even at the worst of times, and always finding the bright side. She thanks God for that bucket and also for the patience her prometido has with her. She'll always trust him. It's hard enough to find someone with all these fine qualities who also loves you. If one of them falls down, the other picks him/her up. Always respectfully, with care and a smile. It is unconditional love. Our love is true and forever.

Thunderous applause. More praise from the padre.

Is it possible that Alma realizes that Chucho is the other half of her orange - and that Rogue is a lemon?

Hellz no, it is not possible. Not this early in the story.

Freshly refueled, Rogue rushes to the church at a very fuel-inefficient speed. He frantically tries to come up with an alibi for his absence from the premarital counseling session. Paty isn't much help. She speculates that Alma will be suspicious and cancel the wedding. He panics and drives even faster. Paty fears for her life.

At the office, Xochi is confused about the relationship between Susana and Sebastian. Mari tries to explain. Susana points out that her husband is very sick.

St. Fernando of Avon dances in on the lightest of feet. He has his very own spotlight now! He tells the secretarias he's going to suggest that his brother give them a big raise. He wishes them a luminous day and skips into his office.

Eli tells Valentina that he's trying to work things out with her mother. She's just upset. He never should have walked out on them. Val tells him not to be sad. He apologizes for letting her see him that way. He's trying to be strong for her. "And I'm strong for you too, Daddy!" (Oh, the cuteness! It BURNS!!)

Vero bursts in on Martha while she's in session with a patient. (Do we know her?) Nice! It's an "emergency." Martha tells her to wait outside. It'll just be ten minutes.

The enthusiastic padre hands out a written test. Is it a quiz to measure their knowledge of Catholic dogma? No, it's a compatibility test he probably photocopied out of Cosmo or questions from The Newlywed Game show. While they're taking the test, Rog meets the padre outside. Is Alma here? The priest says yes, she's with Rogelio, her future esposo. They're taking a compatibility test right now!

Rogue calms down and realizes that it's better if he clears out right now. But after he leaves, Paty circles around and asks the padre what "that guy" wanted. "Oh, Padre, you think Alma AND Rogelio are in there?" Paty asks. "Yes, they're a lovely couple!" She starts to tell him that the guy who's with Alma isn't really Ro... but the real Rogue interrupts her with kisses. "Are you two getting married, too?" asks the delighted priest. Yes! Kiss, kiss. Rogue drags Paty away. "What an interesting couple!" I love the padre's enthusiasm!

Fernando is writing a confession of every sin in his life, going all the way back to grade school when he was stealing sweets from the cafeteria. He realizes that it all boils down to envy of his brother. He always got the best women... except for Discua. SHE'S the very best in the world!

Vero doesn't wait ten minutes. She goes directly to Avon. Martha calls, miffed that she couldn't wait ten minutes. What's the "emergency"? Vero wants help getting Eli out of her house. Martha can't do that, but offers to hook her up with a laywer. Sure, Vero will come by later, "if you have time for me," she says sarcastically. She also refuses to take the visitor pass from Yvonne with her bare hands.

Fernando is finishing his written confession. (You'd think it would have taken a lot longer.) He writes about the illegal money-laundering he's been doing with his brother. He's sorry for participating in this crime, but now he's going to follow the path of truth and light. (He winks at the ceiling.)

Xochi is still boohoohooing, openly, about the breakup with Chucho. Vero overhears and asks where he is now. The secretarias say he's out with Alma. Vero will wait. She sits down and stares at a display of holiday nutcrackers, probably counting every grain of dust.

(NOW the opening credits, later than usual, more than 20 minutes in.)

Paty tells Rogue it's just so wrong and awful of Alma and Chucho to be tricking the priest this way. Rogue says of course he's not happy the secretario is taking his place in the premarital "pláticas," but it's better than the alternative. Paty jokingly (not!) speculates that maybe Chucho will take his place at the wedding, too. Again, he desperately tries to think of an alibi. It has to be a life-or-death kind of excuse.

Ricardo's bank calls Avon to ask when he's going to make his credit card payment. He has no idea how he's going to get the money.

Jessica prances into Cardenas's office. "You like me, right?" He is stunned and a little frightened by her sudden attention!

To kill time and be a huge bitch, Vero asks Xochi if it's true she and Chucho broke up. She just wants to know "because of our daughter." "Sure," Xochi says sarcastically. "When we were dating, he told me everything. Like how you flung yourself at him at dinner at Chatita's house the other night and tried to kiss him. So don't tell me that you're only interested because of your daughter." She confirms that indeed, she and Chucho are splitsville. Vero is much too obviously pleased to hear it.

"But don't assume that your biggest obstacle is out of the way," Xochi says.
"Oh, and who's that?" asks Vero.
"Licenciada Alma!"

("Take your banana, monkey!" exclaims Maricela. It means something like "put that in your pipe and smoke it" or "how do you like them apples?")

Rogue hands Paty his wallet and asks her to punch him in the face. She is torn between denying him this favor that will help save his marriage, and giving him the wallop he so richly deserves.

One of the couples got a 63% on their compatibility test. Depending on where you went to school, that's either a D or an F, but the padre is thrilled. He tells the couples not to worry if their scores aren't perfect, because with love and patience it can all be worked out.

So what score did Alma and Chu-gelio get? 100%. Of course. They are the perfect couple!

Rogue hands Paty his watch. She's not going to hit him. He winds her up: "think of all the ways I've humiliated you, all my mistreatment, rejections, all the times I stood you up to be with Alma, my obsession with Alma's DNA, our children will be much cuter than you. I love Alma; you were only ever my little hobby on the side, and now you're just in the way."

POW! Right in the kisser! Actually, no - in the NOSE! There's blood everywhere. He's afraid she's ruined his pretty face. "What does her DNA have that mine doesn't?" He writhes on the ground, begging for mercy. She puts some serious kicks all over his body and calls him a heel. He wants an ambulance. She thinks she should leave him there on the ground.

The padre gives Alma and Chu-gelio their certificate of completion and says that because of their perfect compatibility, they don't need any more premarital counseling. Alma is so grateful to Chucho for clearing the way!

St. Fernando asks Xochi where Chucho is. He wants to apologize for treating him so badly, calling him sexist names and so forth. Xochi says Chucho's not her novio any more. Fernando listens sympathetically and also apologizes for that time he attacked her in the copy room.

Rogue is already in a hospital bed. How time flies! "You're a psychopath," he tells Paty. She reminds him that he asked for it. He tells her to take off. He's going to call Alma, and Paty's not supposed to know about any of this!

Alma is telling Chucho about the words that touched her soul and the kiss that... that... ooh, her phone rings and of course she cannot complete the sentence before answering it. Vero's calling Chucho, too. Rogue's at the hospital: some guys beat him up and took all his stuff and it hurts, owie owie!! He is too unwell to say "juárever" and has to go with a feeble "como sea" instead.

Meanwhile, Vero tells Chucho she's waiting for him at Avon. Alma wins: Chucho will take her to the hospital to see Rogue. Vero demands to know where so that she can harrass Chucho in a big building full of sick people. Vero repeats the location in front of the entire office.

Ricardo whines to Cardenas about his financial problems. He ran up his credit card because he wanted to be with Mari... yes, past tense. (He and Cardenas have a brief debate about grammar and verb conjugation.) She's seeing a rich guy now and the bank's going to seize everything he owns. Boohoohoo!!

Susana hurries off to the hospital to see her injured boss.

Still in bed, Elias asks Mari if he can see her tonight. Wheeeee!

Cardenas asks for Ric's advice. Jessica seems to be interested in him. He and Ric both think she's probably trying to get something. Cardenas says it was Rogue who asked Cardenas to give her the administrative job. They figure Rogue must be fooling around with Jessica.

At the hospital, Rogue tells Alma he was leaving the airport, all excited to meet her at the church, when he got jumped by three guys with a gun. They took his watch, credit cards, and money. (All of which will no doubt be found in Paty's little drawer of purloined treasures.) Alma is SO SORRY she doubted him! She begs his forgiveness!

Anyway, it's no problem about the premarital counseling, because Chucho took care of it. Rogue expresses his boundless gratitude. Great, now we can get married. Thank you, Jesus!

Chucho says it was no problem. In fact, it was very... interesting. "Isn't that right, Alma?" She has nothing to add. She's sticking with her plan, because it's hard enough to find someone with all those fine qualities, much less one who loves you, too!

Chucho asks for a moment alone with Rogue. Alma leaves to get some coffee. Chucho leans in close and hisses at Rogelio: "You weren't attacked at the airport. You didn't go to Toluca, much less see the president of Avon. You were never even on a plane. When I called you, you were in a car, on the road to who knows where!"

Next time:
Chucho threatens to tell Alma everything. (OR DOES HE??)

Labels:


Comments:
I may not be able to finish this till morning, but I will finish.

Please don't wait for me - there is much to discuss.

Like when I was saying earlier that Paty's the only one who's 100% committed to something - I'm gonna bump that up to 125%. I have to, because Fernando's now at 100% and Rogue is at 75%. (I know Rogue LOOKS like he's at 100% too, but 25% of that came from Paty's feet!)

Again - the more committed a character is to his or her mission, the more fun they are. Fernando is fast becoming a riot!
 

Also: those of you who have been near any of those damned tornadoes, please say if you're okay! Those images are freaking me out!
 

St. Fernando of Avon ! Brilliant Julie!! I'm starting to love the whole Fernando / Discua thing. Can Fernando go the distance? We got a ton of capitulos to go...but this "conversion to la luz" thread is becoming a crack up. Gertie
 

Hi Julie, sounds like a very energetic episode. Great recap so far. Favorite quote: "Is it possible that Alma realizes that Chucho is the other half of her orange - and that Rogue is a lemon?" Bwahaha! I love it.


 

We're missing more people every day! Maybe they're all together in the green room waiting for their cue?

I know I shouldn't take this seriously (the writers don't) but come on, Alma is so religious she went to get her confirmation and now this chats and yet she doesn't mind kissing someone who is not her fiancee? Even in in the world of make believe they could have said no when the crowd asked them to kiss!! I am glad they didn't ask for something else!!

Alma will marry Rogelio because he saved her giving her a job and a heart for her father, and now loves Jesús because he saved her from the bucket of Evian water that fell from the sky... what's next?

I liked Rogelio's sunglasses, reminded me of THE FLY...

Hospital? Who is in the hospital? Here in Avon we need the smallest excuse to leave the office and now we will all go to the Hospital to see the boss... BTW, Jesús makes his face # 59 when Rogelio starts lying to Alma. That face says: I don't believe one thing you're saying and I am commited to prove it!

Vocabulary:

Con qué ojos, divino tuerto!- with what money, I am broke!
 

Very funny so far. The remaining part will give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Fernando going goofy from an overload of "light." Love this and his crime confession. Paty and Rog--a great comedy team. Jesus and Alma--sweet, but how will they work it all out?

 

Julie:

Thank you so much for this marvelous recap. I missed it this evening and will wait to comment until you finish in the am. Love what you have so far : )
 

Oranges and Lemons and Saint Fernando light headed, Julie, I am laughing all the way to bed and will look forward to finishing this tomorrow. Thanks for getting something up so quickly.

Pablo you also made me laugh with Alma loving Rogelio because he saved her and got her father a heart (do we think he personally got a volunteer?hmmm discuss later) and now she love Chucho for saving her from a bucket of Evian water. Too fun!
 

I also considered "rotten apple" and even "rotten egg" for Rogue, but decided to stick within the citrus family!

Didn't Rogue's mother die fairly recently (that's how he ended up with her dog)?

I wonder if Sebastian got Rogue's mother's heart?

OK, finishing the recap now...


 

Great start, Julie -- can't wait for the rest!

My favorite line from the epi was when Xochi told Vero that there was still a huge obstacle between her and Jesus: Licensiada Alma. And Jessica says TOMA CHANGO TU BANANA. (I believe that would be something like, howda ya like THEM apples?)

 

Recap is done. Thanks for your patience. I'll check in later...
 

Julie, thanks for the priceless video clip at the start of your great recap! I especially enjoyed the "juárever" vs. "como sea" and the "St. Fernando."

Wow! An Xmas tree at Avon! the holiday must be close since it appeared beyond the confines of Chatita's apartment.

Paty sure got out her aggressions on Rogelio. And to think he had to goad her into the beat down. . .

I loved that Jesús called out Rogelio on his lies about the trip.
Jesús might finally be getting some leverage in the situation.

Fernando was so kind to Xochitita about her breakup--maybe he has changed.

I also got a kick out of Xochi letting Verónica have it and telling her about Jesus's interest in Alma. There might be hope for Xochi yet.

Jarifa

 

Just a comic delight from beginning to end...your recap...not the episode, because I haven't seen it yet.

Like Sylvia, loved the "Is it possible that Alma realizes that Chucho is the other half of her orange--and that Rogue is a lemon?" Sidebar worthy.

Also, you wicked wicked lady, opining that the priest probably got his Compatibility Test from Cosmo or something. Watch out for that divine thunderbolt!

My other favorite line was:
"Vero demands where so she can harass him a big building full of sick people."

Ay yi yi, this character still needs a ton of redemption. We know our very own Padre Carlos is on the case and will see her through, but she certainly is repugnant right now and I hate the sadness and confusion that she's putting Valentina through. (It's just a tn, just a tn.)

Pablo, thanks for the dicho. I'm writing it down and praying for a better memory that I currently have!
 

Julie:

Thanks so much for the rest of your marvelous recap. I will have to go on Hulu later cause I want to see Patymelt decking Rogue and Ferny confessing all his sins on paper and apologizing to Xochi. They must have been a hoot.

Of course Alma and Chucho got 100% on their pre-marital test, lol. Too bad Alma is so beholden to Rogue. I wish she would see the light and dump Rogue. I know, I know, many epis later. If only Alma had some kind of clue as to what Rogue has really been up to.

Also loved the video you put up in the very beginning, lol.


 

Too funny, Julie! Loved the episode and loved the recap.

Favorite lines:

- He wishes them a luminous day and skips into his office.

- Oh, the cuteness! It BURNS!!

- To kill time and be a huge bitch, Vero asks Xochi if it's true she and Chucho broke up.

- Ooh, her phone rings and of course she cannot complete the sentence before answering it.

- Vero demands to know where so that she can harrass Chucho in a big building full of sick people.

I like all the action and all the surprises. And I love the way Fernando is dancing around.
 

But tonight I'm going to go home and replay the excellent punch in the nose. Paty gave it to him good!
 

That was also my favorite scene last night: Pati beating Rogelio down! First not wanting to do it but then not wanting to stop!!
 

A possible delayed advantage: when Jesús and Alma end up together--as I assume they will--I bet they won't have to go through another set of prenuptial classes because they went through them already with Father Diego. Just thinking ahead '. . .

Jarifa
 

Julie, I can't believe I didn't thank you for that hilarious video. Yes! I remember those commercials! That gave me a good laugh. Thanks for the rest of the recap.

I remember Pablo gave us the "Toma chango tu banana" in one of his vocabulary lists; he said it meant "It's what you deserve." So yep, I think "How'd you like THEM apples?" is a perfect translation.
 

We also have ''cada chango a su mecate'' for when we want to tell people to go where they supposed to be (each monkey in his rope) when they're not.
 

Thanks, I'll fix the banana quote. I didn't think "the monkey takes the banana" sounded quite right, but I thought maybe it meant something like "ha-ha, Vero took the bait!"
 

Jarifa, about the leverage Chucho has over Rogue now, I bet it will be short-lived. No doubt Vero will burst in just in time to prevent Chucho from telling Alma anything, and then there will be some new crisis that forces Chucho to keep his mouth shut.

As far as the prenuptial counseling, oh yeah, this padre would certainly give them a pass. But this isn't the same guy Chucho and Alma and Rogue spoke to last time, when he was helping Alma straighten out her Confirmation paperwork. THAT priest knows who Chucho is!

I can envision some last-minute pre-wedding confusion if THIS padre shows up at Rogelio's wedding (to see his 100% compatible couple get married) and doesn't see Chucho! WEDDING DERAILED!
 

I was looking for a Skin Bracer ad where the slapper is a woman. Couldn't find a single one, but I'm pretty sure there were a few!
 

I scared the heck out of Mr. Sharkbait last night when I guffawed out loud from watching that old ad. I seem to recall a woman slapping a guy too. Was it a beautiful blonde? Our Paticakes is a bit of a skinbracer herself.
 

Rogelio grossly underestimated Paty's strength. Not to mention her wrath. I think he was only expecting just enough of a slap to leave a mark. He's lucky she didn't rupture his spleen or something more important.

I wonder if his nose will heal crooked? Heh heh.

I don't know if we ever saw the woman who did the slapping. I only remember a hand. But maybe I'm thinking of Christopher Walken as "The Continental."
 

Excellent recap, Julie, very well done.

I've been watching and keeping up with the comments but haven't made any comments recently. Thanks to all the recappers and commenters, you guys are doing a grat job.

I still adore Verónica... she is so strikingly beautiful. I did think that her outfit the last two nights was a little bit curious. I'm not sure I like that aggressive spiky look for her.

The treat last night, however, was Pati and Rog. Those two are so much fun to watch doing whatever, but her assault of him last night was hilarious. Those two have completely hijacked this show.

Carlos
 

Carlos: did a double take when I saw Vero's spiky shirt. Flaco couldn't keep his eyes off the tight pants. I think you're right about Patimelt's and Rogue's scenes together--they are stealing the show. I love watching her especially.

Really getting into this one--finally.

Nanette
 

Julie- Very funny recap.

Well, I thought I would be quitting this show, and I did, for a week. But Rogue, Pati, and Fern have really stepped up the comedy and I love watching them. I also love little Val with her daddies.

The Rogue-Pati duo was hilarious last night! I wish that at least one of our protagonists was funny too, but they certainly delivered on that kiss and on the weepy/sappy/love-filled stares.

Nanette and Carlos- I did a triple take on the spiky shirt because just after seeing Vero wearing one version of it, I immediately then saw Nikki wearing it in the next show, Amores Verdaderos. I guess we'll be seeing spiky shirts next fall in the stores.

 

Excellent recap, I need a laugh after a long day.
Thanks for a video clip a great start.
 

I can forgive Alma for not being funny, but I need her to figure out something about Rogelio soon. I can't stand that she's still so clueless about him. He doesn't seem smart enough to be able to fool her for this long, unless we're to believe that she's a lot dumber than most of us would consider acceptable.

I'm just waiting for Rog to send her some tulips for a third time, proving that tulips are the only thing he knows about her. Or perhaps another piece of turquoise jewelry. Something to show that he he wants to impress her, but is too lazy to come up with a fresh idea.
 

Thanks, Julie! Your recaps are always so funny. I loved the orange and lemon bit, too...mos def sidebar-worthy. Plus the follow-up "hellz no" line. And the Cosmo compatibility quiz (must have made all those other engaged couples feel great to be there with the superstar golden perfect couple getting all the attention and praise).

I noticed the spiky things on Vero and on Nikki Brizz also. Yep, it's gotta be the next trend.

Patimelt was great, but she didn't try quite hard enough. Clearly she should have "lost" Rogelio's keys somewhere at the ranch. Why exactly did they end up by a hayfield for their next argument and the beating?
 

The spiky clothes trend will be a big hit until someone leans against something and gets little bruises when the spikes push back through the fabric! They should also be a real pain in the neck for laundry purposes...

I am not sure why Paty and Rogue were in the hay field. I thought when I watched last night (while making dinner) he didn't want to park too close to the church for fear that Alma would see his car with Paty in it? But then when I watched again for the recap I missed that conversation entirely.
 

Also a fashion Don't for anyone who wants to be hugged. Although I can see the practicality if you ride public transportation :). And they'd also be terrible if you put a sweater or jacket on over...they'd be lumpy and possibly wreck the outerwear.
 

"Why does this wall suddenly have little dents all over it at shoulder height?"
 

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