Wednesday, May 29, 2013

PEAM, Tuesday, May 28. Rogue: The three words that describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink! Stank! Stunk!

Leftovers:

Alma notices Susana hasn't shown up to work. Xochi tells Jesús she knows she can't compete with Almighty Alma for his affections. Disco Biscuit shows up out of uniform to speak to Alma, interrupting Xochi's slow acceptance of Chucho's inconvenient feelings.

Rogue drops by Fernie's apartment claiming his heart grew three sizes and he's ready, Rogue himself, to carve the roast beast. Er, I mean he says he wants to smoke the peace pipe. Probably full of the crack that gives him his usual crackpot ideas. Fern is still angry and isn't buying Rogue's change of attitude and fantasizes about telling him he's turned him in to the police, but he just acts pleased when Rogue claims to totally trust him to hold the fort while he and Alma are away. Fern sneers over Rogue's shoulder as they hug.

New, I think:

The swat team storms the warehouse. Delia doesn't seem to feel the need for the protective gear her team is sporting. Maybe because she can intimidate anyone into submission with just a glare.  Inside, Mal reads the full-page, full-color newspaper spread gushing over Rogue and Alma's upcoming wedding, and gripes to his lackey/hash slinger Calavera that not only did his bestie Rogue not invite him, that skunk doesn't deserve a fine dame like Alma!



Just as the polis start to swarm into the building, Mal and his new top thug scram out the back door, somehow evading the cops and leaving behind stacks of cash and still-warm food.

Discua tells Almighty Alma that she's going to quit. Alma's heavy eyeliner widens in surprise. Disco prefers not to say what exactly her problem with Fernie was, but Alma says whatever it was, without even knowing, she's automatically on Discua's side.

Yet again, Vero thinks someone else's workplace is the appropriate venue for her whining. She complains to Jesús that mean old Elías won't give her an easy peasy divorce.

Pato uses the purloined key to let herself into Alma's apartment, excuse me, *penthouse*, as they always distinguish it, to fetch her video camera. Uuuupsiii, here's Sebastián, "¿Qué haces?" Pati is nothing if not a practiced liar, so she claims she came to make sure the place was cleaned up after the wild rager bachelorette party. She tries to leave, but Sebas pulls her back. They gotta talk.

Alma conveys her pithed attitude to Rogue, regarding Fernie ruining things with yet another secretary. Juárever, sez Rogue. We're outta here and off to honeymoon heaven. Chucho interrupts just as Rogue is trying to get snoozly. Cara de Sadness de Jesús. Sorry, I don't know the numbering system of the Popeye the Sailor Acting and Modeling Academy.

Jesus and Xochi set up the conference room with notepads, pencils, and candles. As one does for a business meeting. Elías arrives for a staredown with Jesús.

Sebastián tells Paticakes he overheard Rogue making plans to go with Pato to the ranch. He smilingly tells Pati it is vile, cruel, terrible, horrible, no good very bad that she is bedbuddies with her best friend's novio. Pati plays dumb. Sebas tells her "don't you dare interrupt the wedding. You have no idea what I'm capable of." He should at least be asking her if she has any STDs he should be worried about his daughter picking up, if he isn't going to relieve Alma of a marriage to that Rogue and his wandering...eye...himself.

Discoball drops by the Three Stooges' work area to loudly confront Jessica about hopping in the sack with Discua's prometido. Everyone gathers for the showdown.

Elsewhere in the three-ring circus that is Avon, there's another good fight brewing. Elías yells at Chucho for trying to steal his family. He won't listen to Chucho's explanations that he doesn't *want* his bitchy wife or his big house, and he sure as heck wasn't trying to seduce Vero. Elías doesn't care. Everything is rotten, and it is all Chucho's fault. He grabs Chucho by the shirt and Chucho calmly tells him to stop fighting with Vero in front of Valentina, and to cease and desist or things are going to end very badly. Eli keeps up his rabid snarling until Alma walks in.

Discua, Being of Light, deprives the crowd of their Rumble in the Jungle and says something to Jess that is muted but gets smoothly translated by Caption Lady as "I didn't come here to fight." Bathed in a golden glow, she tells Jess she's above bitterness, and she hopes Jess will be very happy with Fern. The Three Stooges hate for Discua to go, but they like to watch her leave.

Jesús leaves and Alma and Eli argue about the usual. Alma changes gears by giving Elías an invitation to her wedding (very little notice, on the other side of the country).

Rogue yells at Marisela because Susana is AWOL. Pato calls Rogue and stuns him by asking why he didn't tell her Alma's dad knows that they are amantes! And here Rogue thought he was so clever and secretive! Paticakes is afraid of Sebas, and also she is suspicious of why Sebastián is so interested in getting his daughter hitched to such a cad. What's the deal? Rogue plays stupid. Well, to put it generously, there's a light on his tree that won't light on one side.

On her way out, Discua runs into Fern at the Elevator of Dramatic Encounters. Fern asks for a chance to explain, and Diskette actually lets him, in defiance of telenovela tradition. She doesn't believe him, though, so ni modo. Hasta nunca, Fernando. Tu luz se apagó.

We're back to the boring credits. Boo.

Eli tells Rogue and Alma that of course he will go to the wedding. I guess he can hardly afford to not pander to his only clients. He launches into his presentation, which first consists of lots of graphs crammed on the screen in an unreadable fashion. I hope Santy Claus brings him remedial Powerpoint lessons.

SElfishBAStard brings flowers to the office for Susana, but Marisela has just found out that Sus's husband is in intensive care and it is MUY SERIO. Marisela gives him the address.

Jesús treks over to the three wise guys' territory and learns that he can't talk to Jessica because she is undoubtedly in the ladies' primping as usual, Rogue and Jess had a fling, and Cárdenas wants to see him. They have a wreath made out of santa hats in their pigsty, which I rather like.

Fernie spreads grinchiness all over the office. Marisela is sad about everything and wants to hug, but Xochi just awkwardly pats her head. Geez Louise, her mother really did a number on her, didn't she?

Jesús goes to Cárdenas's office to talk payroll biz, and Card lets slip that Alma's salary is being discounted 10 percent. Qué qué WHAT? Chucho wants to know why. Cárdenas swears him to secrecy and admits to him that his salary is coming out of Alma's. I don't really see the problem, since he is her personal assistant, but Chucho is stunned.

Rogue and Alma apparently liked Eli's presentation, despite the overcramming of stuff onto the slides.

Selfish butts into Susana's personal trauma at the hospital. She tells him to leave her alone.

Marisela celebrates with and empathizes with Elías, and confesses to him that she digs him. He weakly protests, but she pulls him close by the scarf (ha! see, that is a bad accessory!) and does some sultry slinky sweet talking about how he shouldn't be alone and she's available to...help...him.

Pánfilo is on cloud nine because his witchy daughter actually cooked breakfast for him. Chatita has brought him tamales, and he looks at her dreamily. I guess we know the way to his heart.

Elías tries to let Marisela down, but she urges him to embrace the Christmas spirit, and by Christmas spirit, she means her. He takes his scarf off so she can't trap him by it anymore, but unfortunately he still has a neck, and 3-2-1 lip contact!

Alma asks Patimelt if she's ready to travel, and Pato tells Rogue more than Alma that yep, she's already packed her itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini. Alma asks what the heck was the deal with her not-happenin' despedida de soltera. No one was there! Pato gushes about the great favor she did, getting Alma a night alone with that super hot hunk o' secretario. DISMISSED, PATO.

Malvino and Calavera sneak around, evading oblivious officers in the most suspicious way possible, and Mal realizes that he left his cell phone at the bodega. Uuupsi! Mal calls Rogue and tells him about the raid and, uh, all the money is still there. Rohellio is starting to feel the flames and smell the sulfur, methinks. Also, the variety of Christmas trees in the office entertains me. Rogue's looks like a mess of twigs. It's appropriately unfestive. Where's Sansón with an antler tied to his head?

Jesús is cold toward Alma and she asks him why. He fantasizes about telling her he's dying with jealousy because she's marrying that cad who cheats on her, and he is so in lurve with her and would treat her infinitely better, and also, finding out that she's paying his salary herself only makes him love her more. She snaps him out of it, and he is formal and vague and says nothing of consequence. She gives him his flight and hotel information, and Jesús tells her he's sorry, but he is not going to go to her wedding.

Mañana: Pato schemes about thwarting the wedding. Most coincidentally, I'm sure, Sebastián has a heart attack or something and Alma tells Rogue they have to postpone the wedding. Paticakes gloats.


New vocab for me: cateo - breaking and entering

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Comments:
Julia:

Thanks so much for your very snarky and oh so funny recap, I have missed them ; )

So that advance with Patymelt and Sebas wasn't a dream. I thought for sure she would be caught with that camera.

Oh, Fern is really stabbing his bro in the back. I noticed he was actually not that bad with the secretaries. Let's see what he does now that Disco told him they are through. I am glad Discua didn't vent on Jess in the office. She is following the higher path.

So maybe this wedding isn't going to take place after all. Is there a heart attack that stops the wedding on the Bingo cards, they seem to have everything else.

I too wonder about Xochi's Mama. Xochi doesn't know how to hug, unless it is Chucho of course.

Those three stooges were funny with their hats, lol.

Loved you title for this Julia, Rogue is being very grinchy.

Looks like everyone was grinchy this epi.


 

Corrected a few little errors.

I'm hoping that at some point before this is all over, Jesus has to work as an Avon salesperson. It's kinda weird how we never seem to meet any of the people who actually sell their stuff, aside from Chela in UFCS. It would be a good job for Paticake, too.
 

December somewhere between 15th and 31st.

I guess this is the last wink at Avon. Discua left without donning her white/blue uniform... the worst thing about being in the light, is being in the dark and not know it. I insist that Discua is not being consistent to her beliefs but bah! is only a TN, right? Plot must move on despite the holes...

I am sure Jesús is, besides Alma's personal ASSistant, AVON makeup tester. He has a different color face in every scene, from brick red to sun-lacking yellow...

I am sure those seizure producing Christmas lights are affecting people in the make up dept. Tonight, Patricia had a very weird face when she was on the phone, and I almost saw the Flintstones stubble covered with foundation on her face. And then when she was talking to Alma she looked beautiful again! Or was that bad lighting? Please help!

Alma should be the last person giving advise to anybody, any advise, even on how to lick a stamp, but there she go, telling Elías what he should and shouldn't be doing! Really?

Tonight we were in luck hearing in the back Marisela's love theme: Cómplice. Maybe now that Discua has left, and they haven't played Xóchitl's anymore, we needed this one! Yeah right! I like the Marisela/Elías tryout, despite the scar by the eyebrow, Marisela is light years cuter than Ninel's clon, Martha the creepy therapist.

I am not a hater (well, I am but I hate to admit it), but what I hate more than Payaso placements, are this ''fantasy thoughts'' and tonight, Jesús has one that lasted almost for the whole scene...
I am getting really tired of that trick...

Secretario yo? Jamás!!
Ir a su boda yo? Jamás!!

(Cae más pronto un hablador que un cojo) First fall the one who speaks too much than one with only one leg. Makes more sense in spanish...

;-)
 

Wow Julia...you haven't lost any of your juice when it comes to whipping out a great recap.

Poor Discua...known as Disco Biscuit (my favorite) Discoball, Diskette, etc. Poor broken-hearted lady...have a little respect! I'm actually rooting for her and Fernando to reunite pronto. For some demented reason I care more about them as a couple than Jesus/Alma and Elias/Juarever.

Other favorite lines:
"claiming his heart grew 3 sizes"
Your noting of Delia's "glare" (it IS intimidating)
"Alma's heavy eyeliner widens in surprise"
"hate for her to go but like to watch her leave" (have you been listening to country songs again, girlfriend?)
Elevator of Dramatic Encounters
"remedial Powerpoint lessons" (thank you! couldn't make head nor tails of those graphs, thought it was just me)
"urges him to embrace the Christmas spirit and by Christmas spirit she means her".

You certainly brightened up our morning Miss Julia. Many thanks.
 

Julia, what a fun recap to start the day with! The title and so many of your phrases were just so "grinchy"!

For me the best line was Discua to Fernando telling him his light had gone out.

Paty is such a great character. I loved when she said "¡qué mala onda!" and made her arm "ondar" as she said it.

Bad news bodega for Rogelio and Sebastián ill: Will Sebastián end up in the same hospital as Susana's husband? Oh no! :)

Jarifa


 

Maybe not. This Hospital is from the government and mostly for low income people (IMSS takes a bit from your weekly check. The service is not that good BTW). Here is were they saved Pánfilos foot, but I doubt Sebastián, with all his money would stay here. For them rich people, there's better alternatives. Waaaay better... ;-)
 

Very interesting, Pablo! I learn something everyday!

Jarifa
 

Thank you, Julia! I haven't seen this yet and can't wait to read what I missed! The recap title is definitely a promising start. :-)

Regarding Malvino's thoughts on the wedding, I recall that when Alma met him she seemed to enjoy talking to him more than she enjoys talking to Rogue. Shouldn't that tell her something??
 

Yeah, where was Sanson with the doggie antlers??? Julie, this was wonderful and hitching the recap to the Grinch...brilliant!!! you tickled me with " Well, to put it generously, there's a light on his tree that won't light on one side."

I'm sure J/C's reaction to learning about the salary was macho pride: Feeling he was being "bought" or some such thing. Mr. I Can't Seem to Be Honest in My Feelings to Anyone however will be all self-righteous that Alma wasn't truthful with HIM. (Case in point with the stupid dream sequence---I'm right there with you Pablo on those.)

Poor Jess. My guess she was in the ladies' room having a good cry. She looked miserable after the Discua confrontation, and though she went along with it at first, I think maybe she was seeing a bit of a light herself?

It's so frustrating that we are dealing with the clichéd plot point of people explaining/no one believing them. Disco needed a good kick in that derriere of hers--practice what you preach much? But I'm sure we haven't seen the last of her.

I sooooo dislike the whole Sebastian plot, but I think I have to put it down to the actor. No offense, but as a lothario, he just is not believable. He's not Ferny suave/swarmy/funny, he's just creepy/disgusting. But now he's so integral to the plot, I guess we're stuck with him.

Interesting note Pablo on the hospital. Dare we say this could be a first to not have competing characters wind up in the same hospital? A bingo square that can't be filled--a Christmas miracle.

Daisy
 

So far we have seen three Hospitals:

One made up (don't remember the name now) where Orión's CEO recovered from his heart attack and where Jesús ended up after the beating because, according to Chatita, it was the only one closer to her house (!?)

IMSS -Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social- Clínica 20, where Pánfilo and now Hernán are getting attention.

Hospital Universitario -where Rogelio was treated after the fake robbery.
 

I always enjoy your recaps Julia. I recognized your "voice" about two paragraphs into the recap and scrolled down to confirm it was you. Your title is a hoot.

I couldn't keep track of all my favorite wisecracks in the recap, so I'll just say Ditto to JudyB's list. Also, I love the idea of Sanson with antlers.

Pablo, a belated thank you for that Christmas music link. Very cool! Your dicho about talking too much and one leg is pretty funny in English too, thanks for that.
 

3 different hospitals in a TN? The land of 1 restaurant, 1 doctor. Monterrey has 3 & DF only has one.

Pablo, love having you here, we get the straight scoop on the real deal.
 

LOL, Julia! I'm afraid if I watch the episode now, it won't live up to what I read. I can't take much more of Fernando v3.0 (the Grinch). I didn't like 1.0 (the Idiot) much either, but 2.0 (the Enlightened) was fun and I want him back.

"Jesus and Xochi set up the conference room with notepads, pencils, and candles. As one does for a business meeting." Yes, it's from the same social protocol manual that recommends wine for breakfast!

Sebastian's got some nerve lecturing Paty about being a premarital homewrecker while he's circling around Susana like a vulture waiting for her ACTUAL husband to drop dead.

Leave it to Univision and Caption Lady to translate "babosadas" to "bullshit," then bleep something that means "I didn't come here to fight." I can't wait to see what they come up with next. (And I won't, because I turned off those captions again because they were driving me CRAZY!!)

Nice of Bisquick to let Fernando speak, even if she didn't believe him. Maybe she'll believe him later when she's had time to think about it. Eli has yet to listen to anyone or even think about the hot women throwing themselves at him. (Which actually makes him a lot like Chucho...)

Why did Cardenas blab to Chucho about his salary?

Julia, another Avon lady was Juan/Eva's sidekick and "cousin," I've forgotten her name already, the Paty Navidad character in PESE. There was some question (in the story) as to whether she should be allowed to sell Avon in an office where she's not even an employee. Of course, everyone thought she SHOULD because the workers there had nothing to do all day but hang out in the ladies' room and buy skin care products. (Well, they had gossip too, but you can do both at the same time!)

I agree about the fantasy/daydream sequences. I don't mind them once in a while, but they are very frequent here AND they keep putting them in the avances. People, if that's the story you want to tell, then WRITE THAT STORY INSTEAD OF THIS ONE!!
 

Julie:

Her name was Mimi de la Rose. I miss her hijinks with Juan Carlos ; )
 

Yep, we've got people running amok judging others for doing the same thing they are doing.

Sebas, threatening Paticake for having a thing with an unavailable man, when the only thing keeping him from hitting the sack with Susana is that Sus won't go for it. Maybe he thinks it's okay because he's a guy and he isn't besties with Mr. Susana? Ugh. I do not like Sebastian at all.

Elias is angry at Jesus for not effectively thwarting Vero's affections, when Elias is simultaneouly letting Marisela get her claws into him.

Jess gets mad at Discua (okay, Judy, I'll use her actual name. I did think of and reject some that don't currently apply to her, such as "Discusting", but I'll keep that in my pocket in case she takes a turn for the worse) for getting involved with a man who was already "claimed", but she has no problem with trying to seduce Rogue.

Thanks, everyone, for the nice compliments. It was fun to recap again :).
 

Ah, yes. How could I forget Mimi de la Rose? Avon Lady extraordinaire.
 

I don't find it that strange that Discua is slipping a little from la luz to la oscuridad in her difficult moment. I suspect most of us don't entirely live in accordance with our own principles at every moment, especially when we've just been dealt a big blow.
 

Julia- How wonderful to read one of your fun recaps!

It's all been said about everyone's annoying behavior, and the annoying writer's trick of these fake-out thought bubble confessions. Ya, basta! I was glad that at least the Sebas-Pati confrontation was true.

ITA on Bisquit's reaction being normal. She did accept learning Fern was a criminal and a lecher pretty well, so she's not totally judgemental. I think she just needs a little time to process what Fern told her.
 

Julie, is Cardenas the HR guy? If so, that alone is reason enough to blab to an employee about another employee's salary. At least that's how it is in telenovelalandia.
 

Good point, Sylvia. :)
 

I love the title, Julia.
What a funny recap- Paty- a practiced liar. Yes, she is.
I enjoyed the line about Discua and the 3 Stupids- "hate for her to go but like to watch her leave"
Pablo- thank you for your nightly tips. Three hospitals have been noted but one ringtone-geez!!!
 

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