Saturday, July 20, 2013

Porque el Amor Manda #94: There Are None So Blind as Those Who Collide With Statues

By Blue Lass

Typical family day at the Ice Palace: Eli is spending quality time with Valentina; Vero is spending quality time with her makeup bag. As Vero sweeps out, Vale tells her about their excellent adventure! They visited a hovel! Five minutes of friqueando and picking through Vale's hair for lice, then Vero's in the wind. Meanwhile, Marta is in the bushes. She looks like she got into Vero's makeup bag.

Vero arrives at Rogue's and finds Paty on the landing. Lest we miss the underlying drama there, special effects splits the screen and rings a boxing bell. Veronica makes snide clasista remarks down her nose, while Paty paints a word picture of Jesus and Alma in Cancun – she's figuring Chucho is “UF-RE-UF” in the sack. The mutual needling quickly turns into a nerdy little girlfight. They both make better fists than Alma, but Vero's clearly afraid to touch anything with hers. (My money would be on Patycakes if I thought anyone would actually bet against me -- but Xochi could take both of them.)

Rogue opens the door and invites both gals in. He may not have a preference, but Sanson clearly does – he lets Paty sail right up the stairs and into the bedroom, but Vero gets the special bulldog unwelcome. She says she wants to talk strategy, but she really doesn't have any new ideas. Rogue does, though – he says he knows how to serve Vero up to Jesus on a silver platter, whatever that means. The way this show is going, it could mean on an actual silver platter, surrounded by tamales. Pre-sanitized, of course.

Cut to Marta at home, talking to a child-sized doll about how much she loves her little Jimena-boots. Either the doll or the inside of Marta's head has a really creepy child-sized giggle.

Back in Playa del Carmen, Jesus and Alma have that miserable Dr. Zhivago post-uf look. Turns out they're both thinking about Uri. Time for a plot summary! If Vero hadn't hidden Valentina from me…if Uri hadn't run the scam…who is this for? Is there a class of viewers who only come in once the couple has done the deed? After-Ufers?

In the post-hovel digs, Chatita confesses her affection to Panfilo. Please take care of yourself! I don't want to lose you like I lost my husband and son! Panfilo looks undecided, and so am I. I'd rather see them kissing than Seb & Su, but not by much. How about some nice metaphorical dancing instead? But wait; that's not why he's looking weird. Son? You had a son? Chatita pretends not to remember what she just said, but an eavesdropping Marisela is onto her: Is that why you “forget” things – because remembering is too painful?

Fernando arrives at the club and Julio gives him a note from Natasha summoning him to a meeting at Restaurante La Noche. Jess spies and pouts.

Fer scuttles off to La Noche, where it's, well, very dark. (Even so they're blurring out the golden bubis on the nymph statue. She must be glad to see him.) A majordomo wearing a spelunking light on his forehead explains that the lack of visual input is to “sharpen the other senses.” He leads Fernando through the dining room, where other guests are smelling and tasting and fondling…food, of course. We know what the real porn is. Fernando crashes into several more statues and people, topples across someone's table, and loses a contact lens. He does not take direction well.

Natasha greets Desencanto in a cloud of smoke and a heavy French or Russian accent. Maybe both. Fer reaches out for her and puts his hand in a naughty place. She leaps up, he chases her, and hijinks ensue. He kisses the wrong woman, Jess arrives and starts talking to a statue, Xoch knocks her in the eye. Eventually everyone runs off in different directions, but not before Jess recognizes Xochi's voice.

Rogue finally divests himself of Vero and arrives in the bedroom all hot to foxtrot, but now Paty has contracted Zhivago-disease. All she can think of is gaining Alma's forgiveness. Even his pichoncito-ness pales in comparison.

OMG it's back to Playa del Carmen – quick! The insulin! Ah, it's okay. They're just leaving. Both return to their real loves – Alma to the office, and Jesus to Valentina's school.

Cantu arrives at Uri's hotel room and tries to mack on Alejandra, but she's smooth enough to point out that he can't afford her instead of just calling him a toad. While Uri sits behind his plate of doomed pancakes, Cantu presents him with Rogue's suitcase o' dinero and says he has a proposal concerning Jesus Garcia. That name again! Adios, panqueques! PICADILLO! PICADILLO! PICADILLO!

Gran Final:

While Jesus catches up with Chatita, Marta slips into the courtyard entry. She clocks Ray, chloroforms Vale, and she's off! (Yes, I know. VERY OFF.) Ray calls for help and Jesus arrives in time to recognize the car, but even he can't catch it.

In other news:

- The gremio convinces Jess to forget about Fer. We think.

- Rogue trips the electric fence to distract the guards, and Uri and Cantu jump in through the window.

- Marisela tells Chatita she's like the mother she never, or only briefly, had.

- Fer gives Alma the monthly reports to revise, and she is very surprised.

- Jess confronts Xoch, who confesses to being Natasha – presumably no one will believe her.

Recap by Blue Lass

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Comments:
Thank you, Blue. I haven't seen this, and now I almost don't feel like I need to, except to pay my respects to the Doomed Pancakes.

"She must be glad to see him." (Doubtful - if it's too dark. Maybe she's cold.) Is this the same statue that PESE's Adriano used to fondle absent-mindedly while talking on the phone?

"Rogue finally divests himself of Vero" - heh, Chucho should ask him how he does that.

Speaking of crazy people, I'm disappointed we haven't seen Xochi's mom lately. (Have we?) I'm just wondering, is she on an anti-cuckoo Cocoa Puffs regimen now, or is Xochi just ignoring her passive-aggressive games, or what.
 

Blue:

This is wonderful, thanks so much!

I had to laugh at the Restaurant Del Noche. They have these restaurants in the States, where it is completely dark and you have to taste and enjoy your food completely in the dark. I don't know if I could do it. Ferny was quite funny as was Jess apologizing to the statue, lol. I too thought she was using a Russo/ French accent, lol.

Marta is just, well crazy Marta. That doll thingy was wayyy creepy and the giggle to go along with it. I hated the fact she snatched poor Valentina and I don't like the previews where it looks like she goes all BSC on Valentina!

I like Alma's new relaxed mode. She is really coming to life and enjoying herself. I just hope whatever Vero and Rogue are cooking up doesn't work.

Poor Patymelt. I hope she doesn't give in to Rogue. I hope she does end up being a true friend to Alma. I am glad her conscience is bothering her.

So we finally get the doomed pancakes, lol. I didn't think we would. So what are Cantu, Yuri and Rogue going to be up to now? Poor Chucho. I don't want him to end up being Picadillo!

I too liked the Uf sounds they were making lol.

I too wonder if they will believe Xochi about being Natasha. Jess just might.

Julie:

No we haven't seen Barbara for awhile. I wonder if she even knows about Xochi being Natasha. I know she told her Mama about the singing but not about the Natasha part.
 

Blue Lass, thank you so much for such entertaining recap. You really hit it on the head with the "miserable Dr. Zhivago post-uf look". Very funny!

I loved that Sansón has such a persistent dislike of Verónica.

I wonder if Jesús and Alma thought of protection or will there be a permanent souvenir from the Mayan Riviera? No unplanned pregnancies yet, could this be the first??

Fernando noticed the Natasha scent being worn by Xochi. the real question is "Is it an Avon scent?" If you look at their website they have a full array of scents for women and men.

With any luck the creepy kidnapping will be over quickly and the plot can push ahead!

Jarifa
 

Jarifa, if the couple is really in love, she always gets knocked up the first time. It's telenovela law!
 

Great job Blue! I had a good laugh at the antics in the Noche restaurant. I saw a feature on Sunday Morning on one of those restaurants a few years ago. The waiters don't use lamps/flashlights. They know their way in the dark and are sometimes blind. The flashlights kind of defeat the purpose.

Oy, I hope this tn goes the route of Amor Bravio and the main couple gets to have lots of great nookie before the protagonista ends up pregnant. How unfair for these poor women-- one time and all the fun is over. Alma did look more relaxed. A bit of Jesus works wonders. No wonder Vero is so hot to get him back!
 

Blue Lass thanks for your recap. I've heard about these restaurants and this rendition was comical. I too hope they end this foolish kidnapping plot quickly. Unfortunately it seems that after that is resolved we still must deal with stupid, crazy Vero ready to battle Alma for Chucho as well as the ridiculous Uri plot. Did I mention I hate Vero?
 

Maybe it's just my neuroses talking, but I would not want to eat in the dark. I need to visually inspect my food for, you know, things and stuff.
 

Blue Lass what a great comic relief recap! Thanks, I especially enjoyed the Dr. Zhivago theme for the must be doomed lovers. finally we get to see (or kind of see the after burn) a love scene and I live the new grinny Alma later at the office.

At last the tortured pancake scenes, the sure made us wait all week for that moment! It was previewed Monday when I recapped but the actual scene wasn't until Friday. Teasers!

I never like kidnap scenes but noticed Val did a great limp rag doll on drugs. What a fab little actress.
 

Love the title Blue Lass and the "miserable Dr. Zhivago post-uf look." OMG!! That was exactly like the scene when in Yuriatin. Snorting my coffee when I read that.

I bailed early on this episode because I knew I couldn't deal with the actual kidnapping after the Marta and her Chuckie doll scene. Not sure how I'll deal with Monday yet either. I might have to rely on the genius of our recappers or have the remote at the ready.

The whole scene at La Noche was weird except it served to Out Xochi to Jessica.( so sick of seeing her in nothing but that work outfit.) Now where does this go? I still like the idea of Xochi and Ferny for some reason.

Can Vero be any stupider? She's so five years old--no take that back. A five year old would let go with a good right hook. Hey, maybe we can hook her up with Yuri and they can both sail off into the sunset.

Jarifa, I think you most likely predicted our next round of clichéd plot lines--pregnancy and all that goes with that. Ay yi yi. Had hoped that wouldn't happen here, but the minute I read your comment I thought "oh yeah, they'll go there". Drat.

Daisynjay
 

Lots of great lines as always, Blue:

"Elias is spending quality time with Valentina; Vero is spending quality time with her makeup bag."

"...fondling food, we know what the real porn is."

"suitcase o'dinero"

"and she's off (yes,I know, VERY OFF)"

Wow. Color me out of it. Had no idea that these dark as pitch restaurants existed. Thought it was just some dopey idea dreamed up by the writers. Hmmm...get out much Judy? (don't answer that)

As always, totally annoyed by characters who commit terrible betrayals, for a looooong time, and then want instant forgiveness, yelping Perdoname! Perdoname! like hungry infants. Grow up and deal with the consequences. Your friend loathes you now. Surprised?

Rant over. Alma should forgive at some point for her peace of mind. But in the real world it takes a couple of years before a person is really able to FEEL forgiving. Five years if it concerns abuse.

Thanks so much Blue Lass. Love your moniker and love your recaps.

 

Oh and also, hate those Chuckie dolls Televisa keeps using. They trotted them out in Refugio de Amor as well. Lose 'em in the stockroom, please!
 

Judy, I'd never heard of a sensory-deprivation restaurant, either. I thought the writers had come up with something really clever -- silly me.
 

Once again another masterpiece, Blue Lass. Thank you!!!
I've heard of the restaurant in the dark, but I'm with you Julie, I need to see what I'm eating.
JudyB- I am not ready to forgive Patymelt either. She needs to learn from her mistakes.
I hope that this kidnapping plot doesn't last too long because it's not easy to watch.
 

Blue Lass, your Doctor Zhivago reference made my day. It's one of my favorite books/movies, and I never dreamed that it would find its way to a telenovela recap! ;)

The Restaurante de Noche scene was funny. But why did Xochitl admit that she was Natasha at the end of the episode? She could have easily gotten out of it; Jess has no proof that Xochitl was at the restaurant. She could have said "misunderstanding" and be done with it. At least it moves the plot along.
 

Nice recap, and I notice you also noticed how Jesus and Alma in bed was kind of not really very interesting. Actually, they already look like an old couple who might be a little bored of each other! Such a disappointment after all the anxious tension to get them together :(
 

Also what is the blurring. Alma's dress was a little unfocused on the beach, but I thought that was some kind of cinematographic error, but the statues - that's ridiculous! So all in all, no thrills in this episode :( :(
 

Mil ocho mil gracias, Blue Lass. Love your title; love your recap. "and she's off (yes, I know, VERY OFF)" was my absolu favorite.

If anyone wanted me to eat food I couldn't see, I'd wonder what they're trying to hide. No way I would fall for that. I need to know what I'm eating. My grandma used to tell me, "Just eat it! Don't dissect it!" but that was impossible if there was, you know, stuff in it.

The funniest part of the episode, to me, was Can-Too's klutzy dive roll through the window. I also enjoyed Paticakes realizing Rogue only wanted her for a booty call and leaving him high and dry.

I'm disappointed in Ray. Demerit for lack of effort in preventing Val's kidnapping. That was very halfhearted. At least now they have something definite they can pin on Marta and get her locked up once they find her, right?
 

Can-Too got off to a slow start but he really seems to be enjoying his role these days. He's growing on me -- albeit in a creeping rash sort of way.
 

Blue Lass, your recaps are always a delight but this one was even more delightful than usual. Your title is a scream and I wondered what in the heck you were talking about because I didn't watch the episode before I read your recap.

The dark restaurant was very funny and a great comedic plot. I can't imagine anything more unappetizing than not being able to see one's food. Isn't the saying "You eat with your eyes first"? Also, it seems the waitstaff should be wearing red or green bulbs on their headlamps so as not ruin the customer's night vision. And why did the first waiter have his headlamp on strobe mode? As you can see I take my headlamp wearing very seriously, LOL!

FINALLY the pancakes were destroyed. They made us wait a week but by gosh Uri gave us a massive performance. I am also warming to Cantu. He's a nice bit of comic relief.

Thanks Blue! Sorry for the delayed comment (and viewing), but all the laughs courtesy of Blue Lass were a great way to start my week.
 

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